Thanks to TRP I've finally dedicated myself to getting my shit together. Lifestyle, body, fashion, money, etc. To work on becoming a man who is in the top tier of self-made men (I say self-made because if you're on this sub your life situation probably hasn't put you in that position by default). These are the men who, among other things, get the best years and the deepest passions of girls that the remaining 95% of men only dream about.
But to become such a man will take years of intense effort, followed by a lifetime of maintenance. There are no shortcuts. See, there are 2 types of self-improvement, and becoming a top tier man involves achieving the second type.
- 1. Improvement that you recognize
- 2. Improvement that the world recognizes
Let's say you're a skinny bastard and start going to the gym everyday for the first time in your life. Every week you'll see a slightly improved version of yourself in the mirror. Fantastic! Keep it up! In 6 months, friends who haven't seen you in a while will be blown away. But in reality, this is only the first kind of self-improvement.
Just because you and your friends recognize and celebrate your improvements, it doesn't mean the world will. In fact, if you're just getting started, it's almost certain that the world at large will not even notice your achievement (not yet). A skinny bastard plus 6 months of painstaking effort in the gym and the kitchen is now a guy with an only-slightly below average body.
Wonder why the hotties aren't responding well, despite you having made so much progress and being validated regularly by your peer group? It's because the girls are not comparing you to yourself from 6 months ago. They're comparing you to their world. To the hot, successful, fun, cool guys they've been lusting after and getting with since they were 12.
Sound unfair? Sure. But if you've embraced TRP, and I mean really embraced it, you've come to accept that nobody owes you anything, and sure as hell not these hotties. For me, this was the toughest part of the pill to swallow. More so than even the hypergamy truths.
To get the results of the top 5% of self-made men, you need to pay your dues with an intensity of effort that only the top 5% of men are willing to exert. To play in that realm, you need to become one of them. To become one of them, you need to invest so ferociously in yourself over such a long period of time that your results speak for themselves not just to yourself, but to the wider population.
I am not saying that the first type of self improvement is not important. And I'm not saying that improving yourself is to be done only to get the world's approval, or that your approval of yourself is not important. I'm only making this distinction between the 2 types so that you don't make the mistake of expecting the world to respond to you as though you have achieved the second, when you have in fact only achieved the first.
Because when your unrealistic results don't materialize, you will be deflated, drained, and demotivated. The first type is a prerequisite, and it's only by appreciating your own results that you keep the motivation to stick with it long-term.
In order to improve yourself to the point where you're in the top tier of men, it will take years. Frankly speaking, many of us here aren't going to get laid tonight. Some of you may not have been laid in months, if not years. Many of you may be overweight, if not obese. Others may be repusively skinny. Some of you may have no friends, low confidence, or no sense of self-worth.
Fine. We're in TRP here, where we accept the current situation so that we can work on it and change it to our satisfaction.
Having said all this, let's get to the meat of this topic.
If you're this guy I've just described, how do you lessen the sting of loneliness that you feel as you walk the path towards becoming a top-tier man? You may be on that first level of self-improvement where you recognize it and are feeling great, which is already a huge win. But the world hasn't recognized it, and won't for some time. So you're still without girls and without the kinds of cool friends and life experiences that you want. You're still lonely.
While you spend your weekend eating right, hitting the weights, shopping for nicer clothes, and engaging in 1 or 2 interesting social events that challenge your comfort zone, you feel good though can't help but be reminded how alone you really are. You see reminders everywhere that people are currently living the life you want. Hot girls with cool guys on dates, big groups of cool friends at a restaurant together, good-looking couples enjoying each other's affections everywhere you look. It is literally everywhere.
It can hurt to know that while so many other people are enjoying this night, enjoying this weekend, you are left with only hopes that your future will be better. Which it certainly will be if you become a high-quality man. Nevertheless, the sting of loneliness still exists today.
Since many men on TRP are already working to become that man, I'd like to know how you deal with the realities of loneliness as you invest heavily in yourself. Maybe you have friends, but they're the kind of people you're with only because the alternative is isolation. Maybe you have a girl you're seeing, but she's barely attractive to you and only slightly better than masturbation.
You're going through the process of self-development and feeling a new sense of purpose and self-control, but you know it will be a long time before you can make a real dent in your situation. Before you reach that second level of self-improvement where you are in fact received by the world as a high-quality man.
TRP is a journey, not a destination, but that doesn't mean you must confine yourself to a lifetime of loneliness as you commit to a lifetime of self-improvement.
How do you keep the end goal in sight and not let your current loneliness or lack of immediate success derail your efforts?