top 200 commentsshow all 245

[–][deleted] 240 points241 points  (67 children)

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I asked her straight why, after all these years, is she attempting to start up the sex life again? The way I saw it, she'd spent so long beating that into a corner and making me feel like a terrible person for wanting sex, I'd actually just given up.[...]

She told me that it was all in my mind, that we had loads of sex and that I was being immature.

Spreadsheet for the win. /s

[–]Clauderoughly[S] 154 points155 points  (64 children)

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That's gas lighting, and every guy should be familiar with what it looks like.

Telling you up is down, left is right, and that you're getting loads of sex, when your dick is dryer than the Sahara

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 132 points133 points  (27 children)

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Being gaslighted by someone I loved is one of the worst fucking experiences I've ever endured.

Fuck her to the deepest depths of hell.

[–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 21 points22 points  (16 children)

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I had the same experience, she was just doing what was in her interest and I can't at the very core blame someone for that.

Company prices goods to make highest profit, can't fault the company for doing exactly what it at the very core exists to do.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 43 points44 points  (8 children)

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I get you. I guess a part of me still resists the idea that a sweet, loving woman is capable of such evil.

Honor is a male abstraction.

[–]SenorPuff 46 points47 points  (7 children)

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Sweet loving women don't exist. Interested women who have something to gain from being with you do.

[–]LukeMooney 27 points28 points  (2 children)

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Women have no honour. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

[–]esco_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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Right, in many cases, gaslighting is just a biproduct of covering their own ass. It's not always that they've set out to cripple you mentally

Not that this makes it any better

[–]rattamahatta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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I had the same experience, she was just doing what was in her interest and I can't at the very core blame someone for that.

But you can run very fast if her best interest is to shit all over yours.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

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[deleted]

    [–]1Ill_mumble_that 9 points10 points  (1 child)

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    Women by nature are irrational and immature. Sure we want them to be better, but they aren't. Got to learn to deal with it or give up women (mgtow). With hindsight after reading TRP I think mgtow until you're a millionaire and then just serial date 18 year olds for 20 years is the best route

    [–]1whatsazipper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    That sounds nice but it's what really changes the ball game. Resolving how you must behave with women because of how they are guaranteed to behave toward you. There's something deeply adversarial or conflicting in the bare state revealed.

    [–]ForYourSorrows 6 points7 points  (8 children)

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    Can I get a clear example of gas lighting? Still don't quite understand it

    [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 44 points45 points  (2 children)

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    Sure. Gaslighting is when someone attempts to convince you that your perception of reality is wrong. You should follow their interpretation of reality.

    For instance, I had a "friend" who I later learned was a true sociopath. He would convince me that I'd said things in the past that I hadn't. He would even encourage me to think I had a poor memory, and then try to convince me I'd agreed to shit.

    It's pretty dark, evil shit. If you ever find yourself arguing in that way, and it feels really weird, trust that feeling.

    [–]16 Endorsed Contributornicethingyoucanthave 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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    Gaslighting is when someone attempts to convince you that your perception of reality is wrong.

    That's not quite it. After all, I'm not gaslighting a 911 truther when I tell them there is no vast government conspiracy.

    Part of the definition is that your perception of reality was accurate, and they're telling you it's wrong. But even that isn't enough. The 911 truther isn't gaslighting me when he tells me there is a vast government conspiracy.

    Actual gaslighting requires that the gaslighter intentionally tricks the victim. The gaslighter purposefully does something, and then when the victim notices it, the gaslighter denies - not just that he did it, but that it was done at all. "I didn't move your pen" is not gaslighting, even if I did move it. "Your pen wasn't moved, it's been there the whole time" is gaslighting if I moved it.

    In this specific case, where the couple isn't have sex, but the wife claims they are, I wouldn't go so far as to call it gaslighting. The simpler explanation is that she's just dismissing his needs. Part of is too is that the couple probably does have sex whenever she gets horny, which isn't often because she's not attracted to him. In her mind, every time she's wanted sex, they've had it, so her perception is 100% success.

    [–]Baylien2 6 points7 points  (1 child)

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    Well I might be able to provide an example. My ex enjoyed going out and getting drunk with random acquaintances. One night she ended up drunk and alone with some dude at his house. I was very suspicious of this and questioned her judgment. She made me believe that I was being controlling and that it's normal behavior for a woman to do this Shi t on the regular. Turns out that she was probably cheating

    [–]Asoka11111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    Thank you so much for this reply. I never understood my mother until after looking into what gaslighting is.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 35 points36 points  (14 children)

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    This is what I remember from my ex relationship, pure selfish actions from the female side.

    As a rational, logical person, it completely blew my mind that people can be that entrenched in themselves that they literally make every move and take every step with complete selfish intent, under any means necessary.

    It was the most fucked up thing that I have experienced in my entire life. And it was really important for me to have lived it, because I am that type of person who needs to know what is possibly on the other side of that fence.

    I'm going to say something that I consider deep, and maybe someone can take something away from it. I like to map things out and learn where the limits are so that I can see the boundaries of human behavior. Once I eliminate unknown unknowns , it becomes much easier to understand known knowns and known unknowns.

    Its like piecing together a puzzle and you piece the edges together and you see that there is a 98% chance that the picture on the puzzle is not one of a lake. And I go on that information.

    This is literally the reason of why I crawled /r/relationships and other internet places like it for a long time. I can now make out the limits of female behavior and it is extremely hard to surprise me.

    [–]teeelo 12 points13 points  (9 children)

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    And women fucking hate that

    [–]colovick 8 points9 points  (2 children)

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    God forbid men act in their own best interest

    Edit: accidentally a word

    [–]busior 6 points7 points  (1 child)

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    the point is that we should

    [–]1cover20 2 points3 points  (5 children)

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    Partly because it's something they cannot do. This curious mindset (I have it too) is essentially masculine. A man who can understand them can surpass them, because they cannot overcome their (vagina's) need for dominant men.

    Especially intellectually dominant men who see through them, who empathize without sympathizing.

    [–]Devvils 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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    I have a sister who is a malignant narcissist. Got the parents to mortgage the family home & give her the money, stole their pension money as well. Pure evil, and I suspected nothing most of the times because "human beings never behave like that" - well some do.

    You may find this enlightening https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXrHSjCfRc0&list=UUU9xNc-P8GWAdafmAcNVi6g

    [–]RPModulator 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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    I'm going to say something that I consider deep, and maybe someone can take something away from it. I like to map things out and learn where the limits are so that I can see the boundaries of human behavior. Once I eliminate unknown inknowns , it becomes much easier to understand known knowns and known unknowns.

    We got you now, Rumsfeld . . .

    [–]squishles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    I'm going to say something that I consider deep, and maybe someone can take something away from it. I like to map things out and learn where the limits are so that I can see the boundaries of human behavior. Once I eliminate unknown inknowns , it becomes much easier to understand known knowns and known unknowns.

    It's an endless mindfuck; and prone to you're own idealized biases. Better to watch general direction and set boundaries of acceptable outcome. Being told sex is "ruining" a vacation should have been subjects drop it hard now line. Fuck knows how much other stuff lead up to that before she starts using wording like that. It should have probably been dropped sooner, might have been savable if he'd put a hard no up when it started to deviate too much. You can be happy with a gas lighter, just have to realize willingness to lie and fall into cognitive dissonance on that level toward you means the relationship is volatile. It's a horrifyingly difficult task to contain an explosion with another explosion.

    [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (15 children)

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    That's gas lighting, and every guy should be familiar with what it looks like.

    Yes...learned about gaslighting here at trp.

    Is it also considered gaslighting if they believe their own lies?

    The girl in the linked article knew she was lying.

    But is it gaslighting if someone suffers from severe cognitive dissonance?

    [–]Clauderoughly[S] 35 points36 points  (4 children)

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    Gas lighting is more about getting someone to completely question their own judgement and mind.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

    It's something sociopaths do to get someone to question their own judgement and sanity.

    You can't gaslight yourself, it's something that is done to others.

    [–]juanqunt 7 points8 points  (1 child)

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    Damn the feels... fortunately I've never experienced this with a girl, as I tend to hold my frame pretty well or I just end up moving on to the next girl. But I swear my parents gaslight me every few days. So many lies they use to try to make me behave the way they want me to. In a way, I'm almost glad that I get shit-tested by my mother every damn day that it's easier for me to deal with other girls (no Oedipus).

    [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

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    Gaslighting is usually done by people close to you. It's pretty awful.

    My mother had me pretty old and as she got older she began to put things away, which really meant she lost shit. Whenever I asked her what happened to something she would flip out and say that she never touched it, and that I was the one who lost it, and then proceed to give me the silent treatment for days.

    One time she threw away an envelope of several hundred dollars from my shitty under mininum wage job. It was about a month of work and she swore up and down she hadn't gone through my stuff.

    I went into the alley and dug through the trash for about half an hour. Guess what I found? All of my money...

    [–]Maximus_Sarcasmus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    Someone in that situation needs to believe that they are in the right, because the alternative is basically the end of their life as they know it.

    The woman might have been so involved in her lies that she was effectively manufacturing "truth" for herself, but it is still certainly gaslighting.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

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    You never saw the classic movie Gaslight?

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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    Is it worth watching? The wikipedia article sounds interesting.

    [–]esco_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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    you seem to be confused about what cognitive dissonance actually is

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    I think I understand what cognitive dissonance is.

    I know that it wasn't cd in this case. She gaslighted him with clear intent. She knew that she was lying when she said they had loads of sex.

    I was thinking of a different scenario where a woman hamsters the day away. He is a good beta bux, but she loathes him for his lack of alpha qualities. She has a distorted view of reality, of what he does for the relationship and what she does for the relationship. She talks herself into being the victim when she is none. She talks to her friends about how shitty her husband is, leaves important details out. Her friends tell her that her husband is really shitty because of her stories and she starts to believe her own skewed narrative.

    Now she should know that her husband is not evil, she should see how he invests everything in the relationship and she doesnt. But she hamsters it away. I think that would be classic cognitive dissonance.

    (I have seen this in some abusive relationships.)

    And I was wondering if this kind of woman confronted her weak beta husband and she is convinced of her lies and distorted views of the marriage...if this could be considered gaslighting. It will hit him like a wall of bricks. He will ask himself if she is talking about the same relationship. And perhaps even feel guilty, because she delivers her view of reality effectively. (Like the guys at /relationship who think they are to blame for being cheated on).

    [–]RPModulator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    gas lighting

    Man that was a fucked up story. She might just as well have green lighted him . . .

    [–]ultimatebacon 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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    Is there an app? It would be better than a spreadsheet.

    [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 112 points113 points  (22 children)

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    Isn't it amazing? After TRP, I feel like I could write these stories myself, that's how often they come up, how predictable they are, and how tragic BP behavior and thinking is.

    [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 52 points53 points  (6 children)

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    It honestly makes me question whether or not someone from trp is just writing stories based on stuff here. These things are so perfectly textbook its crazy.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorpuaSenator 42 points43 points  (3 children)

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    I'm a huge moderate when it comes to TRP, but if there is one thing I've learned is that you need to expect the unexpected; This shit is unfortunately routine for women.

    [–]FiveRows 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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    It honestly makes me question whether or not someone from trp is just writing stories based on stuff here.

    I think there has to be some of that - but I've had life experiences that also closely resemble some of these stories. The absurdity of most male-female interaction in the western world makes it almost impossible to separate reality from fiction.

    [–]colovick 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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    There's a lot of it that gets posted here that are reposts and show up fake elsewhere, but I've stopped caring. I refuse to be drug down to their level by arguing with them or giving them agency by treating them like my equal in discussion.

    If this is fake, who gives a shit. You're only detracting from your own journey and development by paying attention to trolls. The real learning happens in the comments anyways and those are much harder to astroturf.

    [–]1johnnight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    There are only so many moves to this game.

    [–]16 Endorsed Contributorss_camaro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    Theory is pure.

    Practice finds...

    living monsters.

    Spearing wooly mammoths

    in the dark;

    Or when your ship

    hits the rocks

    off

    a far shore.

    All this

    constitutes

    the memory

    of survivors.

    [–]tallwheel 6 points7 points  (11 children)

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    That lends credence to the theory that some of these are actually written by RP trolls.

    [–]1independentmale 35 points36 points  (7 children)

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    You might think so, but I've seen women pull worse shit than this in real life.

    My buddy's wife talked him into refinancing his house to pay off her extensive student loans. Notice I said his house, bought long before he met her. A few months after the refi she was gone. He just woke up one morning to his car "stolen" and his wife "missing." Turned out the car was repo'd that night, savings empty, dozens of maxed out unpaid credit cards in his name that he didn't sign up for. None of the bills had been paid in months. House was in the final month of foreclosure. She'd been cashing out both of their paychecks every month. She took the key to the mailbox with her, took him a couple of weeks to unravel it all.

    When he found her she was shacked up with some guy she met and fell in love with.

    [–]WAFC 27 points28 points  (4 children)

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    Did your buddy get life or is it a death penalty state?

    [–]1independentmale 8 points9 points  (3 children)

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    Sadly, his drinking became a full fledged lifestyle after it all went down. He drinks like a fish and we rarely hang out anymore. I did everything I could for him, got zero progress to show for it.

    He did man up and won custody of his daughter. So there's that.

    [–]Rpillacc 15 points16 points  (2 children)

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    So his daughter is now in the custody of a bitter alcoholic? She's not going to grow up messed in the head at all.

    [–]Misteralcala 24 points25 points  (0 children)

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    ...And the circle of life continues...

    [–]tallwheel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Oh, I'm definitely not saying these things don't happen all the time, or that this post or ones like it are definitely trolls. I'm just saying that it is within the realm of possibility that they are trolls, and there is just no way to know for sure on the Internet.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

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    Doesn't matter. Because these events keep happening and will continue to do so.

    The truth will out itself even if all the feminists join forces and expend 10X more effort in denouncing TRP. It's weird how you read something on TRP, give no special attention to it, or even think, "Really?", and then go find your gf / spouse do the exact same thing as if SHE read TRP and is trolling you!

    Or, as we like to say here, hamsters gonna hamster.

    [–]A_Roasted_Peanut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    The truth will out itself even if all the feminists join forces and expend 10X more effort in denouncing TRP.

    It'll out itself even quicker if they do that. Like many, I found this sub through others denouncing it.

    [–]ExamplePrime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Just going through this post I could see him slowly peeling away the layers of blue pill lies.

    He was saying No this isn't my fault, she cheated, she left the bedroom dry, she is blaming me, she tried to trap me and she lied.

    He has only been kind and consenting and she has used him. Now he knows it.

    [–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger 293 points294 points  (10 children)

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    Remember, men, the measure of your relationship is desire. Not length of time. Not cuddling. Not I love yous. Not money or furniture or trips or a nice house. Not even children. And not even sex. The measure of your relationship is desire.

    If your woman does not desire you, as evinced by enthusiastically seeking out sex with you, and passionately engaging in the activity, then your relationship is circling the drain.

    If you are not fucking your woman on an extremely regular basis, with her enthusiastic participation, then your woman is one weekend or girls' night and a few glasses of wine away from another man's cock. Because she doesn't respect you. She may like you, treat you nicely, even love you (in her own way), but if she doesn't respect you as a man, then she's not sexually attracted to you. You've set the bar really low, and a few drinks and a night away from you, next to a man she perceives as slightly better than that low bar you've set, and she'll be riding his cock. Especially if she's pretty certain you'll never know.

    [–]social_pest 19 points20 points  (0 children)

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    This should be said more often

    [–]DankPanties 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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    This is the kind of no bullshit cold hard truth that I love about TRP. Thanks man.

    [–]5 Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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    And that's why we link to Briffault's law in the sidebar. Once she runs out of uses for you, you're dead to her.

    [–]robesta 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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    This should be it's own post. Your contributions are pure gold, Arch.

    [–]26ounce 141 points142 points  (19 children)

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    That post is an absolute doozy and a warning signal for men everywhere.

    I read a similar post on that sub quite some time ago. A guy having gone through a similar dry patch with his wife suddenly found her jumping on him whenever possible for two weeks, then as suddenly as it started it stopped and things went back to normal.

    I was honestly scratching my head about what was going on until some wise redditer filled us all in, she had barebacked some guy on the side and was creating plausible fatherhood case against the OP. Once she had her period and the pregnancy scare was over it was back to normal.

    Be aware boys.

    [–]14io8 64 points65 points  (15 children)

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    The fact she did that is incredibly calculating. But the weird part is it seemed instinctive rather than planned.

    [–]chimpichanga 142 points143 points  (11 children)

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    Nah. She had a long plane ride to figure out her next move.

    Im calling trickle truth right now. This isnt the first time she has cheated. It probably isnt the first time she fucked that guy. Her phone came up clean which leads me to believe she was an experienced liar. This is just the first time she had a pregnancy scare and wasn't able to trick her husband into sex to cover her bases.

    [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 68 points69 points  (4 children)

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    To me this sounds more like a long standing affair that she fucked up and didn't use protection on the trip. She deliberately told him that she would be going on the trip alone which shows that she was planning this out. If she was planning on the fucking this guy then most likely she has had previous interactions with him and probably others. This was the first drop of the trickle truth

    [–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger 54 points55 points  (1 child)

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    Agreed. Her "accident" wasn't the affair itself. The accident was the one time she got drunk and forgot contraception. The affair was no accident.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [deleted]

      [–]ShitLordXurious 17 points18 points  (0 children)

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      Indeed - she's portraying herself as the victim in all this; none of it is her fault, she had sex "by accident" and now the asshole that did it to her is "harassing" her at work. All bullshit.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 13 points14 points  (0 children)

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      I know that you said that you are calling trickle truth, but for the other guys reading this:

      Trickle truth doesn't have to be called, it's literally written on the wall, floor, and ceiling in Bold.

      [–]14io8 14 points15 points  (2 children)

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      I dont doubt she thought about. I just wonder if its also a common instinctive reaction of women in that situation.

      [–]Zephyrel 21 points22 points  (1 child)

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      Instinctive, or learned and shared freely among friends?

      [–]colovick 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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      Who cares which it is? When you corner a cat, it'll show it's claws. Learned or taught, she was cornered, she acted, be aware it can happen to you if you let it.

      [–]bertstare10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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      here we have a poster who clearly thinks of what they are reading and analyzes the situation accordingly, good job.

      [–]trias_e 9 points10 points  (2 children)

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      It very well might be instinctual. It would certainly make sense that women would be naturally inclined to fuck their provider for a short period after fucking an alpha who may have gotten them pregnant.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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      This. The worst part is she was trying to get her on his side by saying the guy was 'harassing' her at work.

      [–]CyberFi 10 points11 points  (1 child)

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      barebacked some guy on the side and was creating plausible fatherhood case against the OP.

      That isn't exactly the reason. It was actually a far more psychological response hardwired into her mind. Read the book 'Sperm Wars' by Robin Baker, this exact scenario is actually explored. the female reasoning for this kind of behavior is so irrational because it reverts back to our animal nature.

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

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      [deleted]

        [–]chimpichanga 114 points115 points  (6 children)

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        All aboard the Hamster Train. CHOO CHOO!

        I had to so my child had a good father. Im a good mother for doing this.

        My husband will love this child and it will make him happier.

        Coming clean would only serve to cause pain. I want to protect my husband ftom getting hurt.

        My husband had unprotected sex and a baby came. He knew that was a possibility when he fucked me.

        I was drunk. I shouldn't be held accountable for one accident that wasn't my fault.

        Once my husband falls in love with our child, it would be wrong to take that joy away from him.

        [–]iluminade 43 points44 points  (1 child)

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        why is real life so depressing

        [–]VelociReactor 23 points24 points  (0 children)

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        Real life is reality. It's only depressing because we were sold on a fairy tale and our realities were shattered when we realized it wasn't true.

        But there is hope. Now that we have swallowed the pill we can understand the world for what it really is, and take advantage of it.

        [–]BluepillProfessor 42 points43 points  (3 children)

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        Are you a woman? You have a unique insight into the female mind and the differences between the male and female variety. I could not even conceive of some of these and I am pretty imaginative with my excuses.

        [–]colovick 24 points25 points  (0 children)

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        You'll get there eventually. It really comes down to how well you understand their point of view.

        [–]1spicy_fries 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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        They are pros and we are rank beginners.

        It's amazing when you realize that women have had a lifetime to master the hamster.

        Could you imagine what it would be like if they put that kind of devotion into something that benefited both parties.

        [–]1KyfhoMyoba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        You should read "I am Charlotte Simmons," by Tom Wolfe. He writes the female POV like nothing I've ever seen from a man. I read that while I was first ingesting TRP back in January, and the parallels were un. Fucking. Believable. I'd read TRP here, and then read it again in Wolfe. AFBB, hypergamy, the whole nine yards.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 17 points18 points  (0 children)

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        Let's suppose everything goes according to her plan. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU LIVE WITH THAT GUILT!!

        Easy. Mentally for her, it is the best decision to make. Not only does it make sense for her in her mind, but the positives literally outweigh the consequences. Even with the guilt added in there it makes sense for her to choose to do that.

        She cannot at this time reconcile(resolve) her feelings towards him. She "loves" him and wants him, does not want to lose him, and is looking out for herself and what is good for her. From there spawns what you see in front of you.

        I bet you that if I would be in that situation where I lost interest and treated someone like a chew toy thrown away by a rabid dog and pissed on by Satan himself, then got what I wanted on the side, fucked my chances with what I would only then realize to be what kept me in such a good place in life. Realized that no fucker in the next month would provide me with that high quality of life, and that I would now again have to start from anew, looking for new mates,potentially taking years, feeling new feelings and potentially very substandard feelings (guy who does everything for you and makes you feel stable and good vs. Someone that makes you feel a bunch of different things like jealousy and not being your bitch). I would see my world falling apart and try to hold on to it knowing that I already screwed it, and maybe I can salvage it for a little bit, maybe a year, and then after a while be in a good enough place to move to something else.

        It's all selfish, solipsism.

        [–]cooledcannon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        Women dont have morality. In evolutionary history it was(most likely?) a bad idea.

        [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 49 points50 points  (0 children)

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        I caught the first posting of his and tried to warn him what really happened and have been waiting for this update.

        Notice how much gaslighting is going on in this post. She is blatantly lying to him about how sex was fine and that he should have been fine with it. She lied to him about the cheating for days, she lied to him about him being at fault and lied about everything. This was a wonderful insight into the mind of a woman trapped with a beta bux.

        Notice how she constantly shifts blame to him that he wasn't there for her or didn't make her feel loved. The problem is that he tried but he tried as a beta. He did what society has told him to do. Be a supplicating wimp and always put her first. He always tries to make her happy and that makes her miserable. She wants a man who thinks highly of himself instead she realizes that he is lower than her. Don't ever put a woman above yourself or she will react just like this.

        Make sure to note that the whole truth isn't out yet. There is tons that she isn't telling him yet.

        I was under the impression she went on this trip alone. Before she left, she even made a play at sympathy about spending ten hours alone on a plane. Well apparently it was not the case; colour me stupid!

        She lied and told him that she was going alone. This wasn't an act of omission. She deliberately told him she would be alone because she was planning on fucking this guy. She most likely has been fucking him and other guys for a long time.

        Added to that, this guy is now harrassing her at work, trying to make her go out with him and all this and she feels threatened, etc.

        Part of a man's program is the desire to protect and provide for women. Women know this and use this to manipulate us constantly. So when a woman wants you on her side she will always play the victim so that every man has to come out and defend her. This happens in almost every single case I can think of. The ex husband was abusive or she didn't feel safe or any number of bullshit reasons just like that.

        The vast majority of this is just seeing a monster hamster at work. Remember that women hold no accountability for anything they do unless you knock their hamster down. They will do anything in their power to play the victim and be made to look like they didn't do anything wrong.

        When she talked about the one time it happened (which I know is bullshit) she says it was an accident. She claims no responsibility for her actions. She was drunk. One thing led to another. Millions of other excuses.

        [–]Dick-Tracy 40 points41 points  (32 children)

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        Rough shit. He's still blaming himself, too...

        I think he deserves some amount of blame, but not for her actions. He deserves blame for thinking the advice of other failing betas in /r/deadbedrooms is worth the time (hint: it's not). She deserves blame for her "accident" and for trying to pin him as the baby daddy.

        Standard reddit advice. Lawyer, gym, cut contact.

        [–]Clauderoughly[S] 35 points36 points  (10 children)

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        He's still blaming himself, too..

        Yeah that happens when you have been gas lighted that long in an abusive relationship. I have had a mate I had to rescue from a BPD nutter woman, who was like that. They fuck with your head so bad, you blame yourself for the sky being blue.

        Time away from that noxious woman will clear his head no end.

        [–]Dick-Tracy 26 points27 points  (9 children)

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        I've got a buddy in this situation who thinks that getting married is going to fix everything. I started to explain that it's going to be an $20,000 party and a legally binding contract and then life will go back to exactly the same way it was before, but I could tell from his expressions and outright rejection of even listening to me that it wasn't worth the effort.

        He can do that if he wants...

        [–][deleted]  (8 children)

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        [deleted]

          [–]Dick-Tracy 11 points12 points  (7 children)

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          I know, but I've brought up TRP to a few betas and been met with male-feminist crap in reply and lowered myself in their eyes. I must be doing it wrong.

          [–]Invalidusers 17 points18 points  (3 children)

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          You can't force feed the red pill. Guys gotta want to know the truth.

          [–]pTymN 10 points11 points  (2 children)

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          I have force fed the truth before, and it is indeed a great way to lose a friend. The shame when I don't even have to say "I told you so"...

          [–]GC0W30 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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          It's like warning someone their husband or wife is cheating. In an ideal world, you tell them, but in reality... you're fucked for a good deed.

          [–]pTymN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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          Family member began dating my friend's live in girlfriend behind his back. Told best friend, and was guilty by association. Then I had to deal with my ex-wife who was best friends with the girlfriend, the girlfriend, and family member harshly berating me about breaking the news for them. According to them, my only good option would have been to give them shit until they chose to come clean with him.

          I know how I would want to be treated, and I would like to imagine that when told, I would not shoot the messenger. Since that time, I've taken the red pill, and chosen not to tell friends how overtly their current or future wives were hitting on me when they weren't around. It is sad to watch a whole marriage begin and end and know for sure it will fail, but whatever, fuck getting into the middle of that kind of mess again.

          [–]ButterMyBiscuit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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          Talk about certain Bill Burr skits. If you're familiar with him, you'll know which ones. Arnold, Gold Digging Whores, Man on Woman Violence, etc. They're not overtly red pill, but everything he says is obviously true. The humor of his skits comes from saying things that most people find outrageous or offensive, but are undeniably true.

          [–]Throwaway811122 15 points16 points  (14 children)

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          Heh standard Reddit advice seems also to be (sadly): Get counseling and inexplicably don't do a fucking thing besides that. I swear to God some of the people who suggest that shit for situations like this are just trying to throw kerosene on the dumpster fire...

          [–]A_Roasted_Peanut 16 points17 points  (2 children)

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          But don't you know, it's a communication issue. Why aren't you communicating? You suspect her of cuckolding? Talk to her. Communicate! /s

          It is interesting to note that you can go over to the relationships reddit and post TRP advice, and it'll usually get a fairly good reception... as long as you avoid the words "the red pill" at all costs.

          [–]Dick-Tracy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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          Communicate!

          Such a delightful panacea that really completely avoids any indication of how one should try to behave.

          [–]1niczar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Well cuckolding is a legitimate fetish, so you should t that from her! Also she told the truth so she can't blame her for what she did!

          [–]Dick-Tracy 5 points6 points  (5 children)

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          Get counseling and inexplicably don't do a fucking thing besides that.

          Yeah, sometimes I wonder if the people advising counseling have actually gone for any. You sit down and talk with some random person in the feedback chamber, and they give you their profession's prescribed point of view for your generalized situation, and schedule you in for next week's session.

          You can, and in fact many people do, come out of a session like that with completely useless advice you can't directly apply to anything. It's certainly not going to be even remotely similar to RP advice, or even the better BP advice from someone who knows you.

          I swear to God some of the people who suggest that shit for situations like this are just trying to throw kerosene on the dumpster fire...

          Should save that kind of crap for 4chan, because anyone asking for advice there with the intention of following it actually deserves whatever /b/ will throw at them. Anyway, it shows the value of crowdsourcing advice from multiple disparate hiveminds. If you read only one all the time you'll end up in a bad place.

          [–]dreauxx 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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          I wouldn't sound so sure of myself with those words.

          No doubt you have a point, some counselors probably aren't worth the visit or listening to. It's a weird business, but there's folks out there in the field that are doing good things and helping people make the right steps they need to make to be more independent; some folks don't get that kind of guidance from a parent (divorce, deadbeats, etc.). At least, the counselor I see does a great job of offering me input that I wouldn't think of on my own; however that doesn't mean that their words take control of my life. It's simply input that I can observe to get a different view of things, and there's never anything wrong with being aware of what's in front of you, as well as the different options you have. And that's quite important in the context of this post, in waking the fuck up and realizing when and how you're getting fooled over (and how to avoid getting played like a fool in the first place).

          However, counseling SHOULD NOT BE a time that you go into a room to complain and whine about where you're at and how bad things suck. You're right there man, folks walk into those rooms and go on about how bad things are; they aren't going to get anywhere without rationalizing that they're being pitiful first, sometimes a counselor can help bring you out of that, sometimes not. Ultimately, it's on you.

          For me, when I go in I've got something to say, and it's usually something good. I used to be in a real bad, blue pill place. I wouldn't say counseling fixed me, but it definitely helped me open my mind and accept that I was working against myself. Now, I'm in charge and call the shots without needing permission or some sulky bullshit.

          Sorry to rant on like that, just wanted to throw out that counseling (when approached correctly) doesn't necessarily yield bad or blue-pill results. It sounds like you've gone at least once yourself though, and I definitely understand where you're coming from.

          Should save that kind of crap for 4chan, because anyone asking for advice there with the intention of following it actually deserves whatever /b/ will throw at them.

          Haha, I was never able to tell if those cry-for-help posts were real or trolls. Either way, someone sat there and typed it out for /b/ browsers, and that's enough to make me cringe.

          [–]nsummy 2 points3 points  (2 children)

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          If anyone read his first post they shouldn't say that. The title is wrong, this is his girlfriend, not his wife. Here is what he said in the first post:

          "We've had a dead bedroom for 5 years. We're in negative equity with our house so it's been a bit of a put up and shut up situation. I gave up trying to remedy the dead bedroom about two years ago, we get on OK and we just put it behind us. She knows I masturbate and doesn't mind, I gave up attempting sex because it usually led to an argument."

          Honestly it just sounds like they are roommates at this point. Its shitty what she did to him but I think they both should face the music and move on, its not working out.

          [–]1cover20 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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          And besides, he's younger than her and can do better now. He's 31 and entering his prime, she's 34 and at the wall.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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          [deleted]

            [–]26ounce 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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            Not sure I agree DT, trying to apportion blame here seems inappropriate. Sure the guy committed your usual blue pill mistakes and took a lot of mistreatment he should not have, but her behavior is horrific.

            [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 10 points11 points  (1 child)

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            Her behavior is normal in the environment that he fostered.

            [–]colovick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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            His behavior allowed and caused hers. Even if there was nothing he could do to change her, leaving should have been on the table as soon as she started holding out and acting like a bitch. She'll either change her tune as she reevaluates you or she'll disappear for good.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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            Exactly, getting advice from men in dead bedrooms is the blind teaching the blind how to see. It's like asking a homeless person about personal finances and investment advice.

            [–]GC0W30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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            That's standard redpill advice. Standard reddit advice would be to blame himself for being part of the patriarchy, be super nice to her, get her that new car and raise the other guy's kid well.

            [–]sniperhiding 40 points41 points  (5 children)

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            For the record, go read dead bedrooms. There's about a million things men do to make their SO's feel "loved" in the hopes of improving physical interactions and it gets men... nowhere. Not a single fucking inch (no pun intended)

            Men, let this sink in. OP is speaking truth here. Becoming more of a suck up, needy, beta bitch does not fix dead bedrooms.

            [–]BluepillProfessor 15 points16 points  (3 children)

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            We should send a brigade or at least a peaceful representative to Dead Bedrooms and tell them the truth. I can't even read that sub it is so horrible.

            [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 14 points15 points  (2 children)

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            I go in there a lot. I lay down RP as much as I can. I got into an argument with one of the mods there about something and she actually backed down. I swore I was going to get banned.

            [–]Misteralcala 14 points15 points  (1 child)

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            Figures. A woman modding on Dead Bedrooms! LOL!

            Edit: Yes, this is me being a sexist pig. :D

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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            Funny because women are usually responsible for dead bedrooms!

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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            A woman will have sex with someone she desires. Giving her flowers or buying her things will not make her desire you. I've noticed quite a few women complain about the 'gross' gifts given them to by men they did not desire.

            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

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            [deleted]

              [–]100 Modbsutansalt 7 points8 points  (1 child)

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              I've noticed a trend that most of the threads where the guy is on the shit end of a bad relationship, the women are almost always a few years older than the guys. That says a lot about the guys in question (resd: overly beta so they couldn't get as younger, hotter gf/wife).

              [–]chimpichanga 31 points32 points  (0 children)

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              I just can't get passed the part where he has zero friends that aren't mutual. She had him by the absolute balls. gotta have a safety net for when it turns out your wife is just another woman.

              [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 18 points19 points  (0 children)

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              What a read. It's long but everyone should read it and use it as an "introduction" to newbies.

              This is what happens when a truly nice and kind man like OP "believes" in the idea of the "greater woman" who "fulfills" them.

              [–]raven2000 20 points21 points  (0 children)

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              Oh boy... this sounds familiar. Story time!

              My ex was good for about once every two weeks for the most benign, ritual sex you can imagine. Then, she suddenly got frisky. Wearing sexy underwear. Throwing me down in bed and raping me. It was awesome! Christ, I was stupid.

              Then my balls starting hurting. Went to the doc. Infection. It's just epididymitis. Here's some antibiotics. It happens in some men. No worries. Two months later I find out about the affair. Went for an STD test.

              Doc: "Have you had any symptoms?"
              Me: "Nope. Just want to be safe."
              Doc: "No testicular pain?"
              Me: "Oh, fuck. Yeah, I did. Came in. You referred me to the urologist a couple of months ago. Gave me antibiotics. They didn't do any tests, though."
              Doc: "Yeah, she probably gave you the clap. Very common. We'll run the full spectrum of tests. I'm sorry."

              In our divorce agreement I asked her to pay for the $500 STD test. She refused (didn't want to admit the affair), but instead agreed to pay thousands for the kids' healthcare. Okay, that'll work.

              [–]A_Roasted_Peanut 17 points18 points  (2 children)

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              It was funny/depressing reading the original post that set all this off. Both that TRP provides a textbook prediction of what happened before it was confirmed, and for the insipid nonsense posted by some commentators. One of the top comments:

              perhaps being hit on by strangers made her think of herself as a sexual creature again

              And people actually buy into that shit?

              [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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              I agree man. I was reading that first post when it first came out and trying to tell him what to expect. The other posters were so off it was pathetic.

              [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

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              "[–]JustDontCommaMoron 0 points 2 hours ago And this is how good men turn to trp"

              You are 106% goddam correct.

              TRP turning "good" men into good "MEN".

              [–]psi_storm 18 points19 points  (0 children)

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              There was a lot of crying, making me feel like I was the biggest shit alive, a lot of denial and defending, trying to tell me I was being stupid

              The whole "i fucked up but you're the one to blame" thing

              , she told me about how she'd felt out in the cold and that I didn't spend time with her anymore, or make her feel loved and that she wanted to feel "wanted" by someone because I didn't do it.

              After the man gets denied sex multiple times he basically gave up completely and then she spews this "im the victim" bullshit. This is the go to line whenever a woman tries to rationalize cheating with her hamster brain. Where are these cunts learning this from?

              Gladly I know this shit at 20.

              [–]BluepillProfessor 16 points17 points  (0 children)

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              A year previous, we had a weekend away where I tried to make it sexy on day one but ended up being not on talking terms the rest of the weekend. But nevertheless, I did try on the Sunday before we were due to fly back the following Monday. I got turned down with another "why are you intent on ruining the weekend!"

              Been there, done that. It is a simple (if indescribably VICIOUS) shit test. Blow it the fuck up or leave is your only option. How could ANY man put up with a life like this? Oh yah, I did for more than a dozen years before I unplugged. I think this post triggered my PTSD.

              I just didn't feel like it was my fault. Not even slightly! I'd agreed to everything, given in to what she "needed" and this is where it landed me. This just ate at me and it still does.

              Please read and re-read this for all that talk about the "weaker" sex. Women are often more verbal and can browbeat a man into submission over the years. They can make you think down is up and right is left. Linked poster did everything he could to inspire his dead bedroom but it is HIS fault he was not romantic enough so she had to cheat. No agency, no responsibility.

              The way we left it, I just feel like everything is my fault and she's made me feel like she had no other option and that I was absent. And I just feel fuck you for making me feel like that. I just don't think I can speak to her rationally yet.

              Then don't. But don't hide at your parents house numb nuts. Go out into the world and build a new life. At least get a new girlfriend, pretty please.

              [–]Endorsed ContributorDenswend 35 points36 points  (12 children)

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              This kind of stuff should be flagged as NSFW. Seriously.

              Do not get married.

              (Offering to the TRPbot of long posts)

              [–]TestosteroneFilled 25 points26 points  (6 children)

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              I swear I slapped myself like 5 times reading this. How does a man get into this fucking shit? How does a girl act so evil and selfish and instantly try to engage sexy time just because she's scared she's gonna get pregnant from cheating when she made him feel like a piece of shit every time he tried to do it? There is a place in hell specifically for this bitch, I assure you.

              [–]RealHumanHere 36 points37 points  (3 children)

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              I will tell you: by having low value himself.

              He should have had:

              1. Separated finances.
              2. Not bought a house together.
              3. Remained fit and gathered good savings and investments.
              4. The moment she rejects sex with him: LEAVE HER, do not engage in desperatedly making her want you, she made her decision. You should NOT beg for sex, HE SPENT 1700 bucks on a f trip to make her want his cock. WTF? He can have numerous 10/10 escorts for that. Never beg for sex. Make her know you wont allow her to use sex as a currency, and that you have high enough value to have all the sex you want, and that if she doesnt provide it, you'll get it from another one soon. Make her want you.

              The moment your GF starts costing you much more than an escort, you should start worrying.

              [–]VelociReactor 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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              Yep, the moment he realized she was un-interested, he should have left, or at least done mega dread game.

              Instead he got on his knees and begged for sex, and even when she refused he spends thousands on parading her around the world!

              $1700 trip to rome and she won't even fuck him? It's obvious she saw him as nothing more than a beta provider.

              [–]PLATO_IN_MY_ANUS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              Just to make it worse the cost was in GBP so it was closer to $3000.

              [–]Maximus_Sarcasmus 12 points13 points  (1 child)

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              Hypergamy does not care. You cannot negotiate desire.

              [–]VelociReactor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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              No amount of negotiated pussy will ever be worth losing frame for. It’s always better to fuck a woman who accepts you as her authority than some half-assed lay with a woman who’s only fucking you out of a sense of obligation.

              [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 18 points19 points  (4 children)

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              Sad thing is he isn't even married. He was stupid and bought a house with her and the economy shit itself so he was stuck with her because he had negative equity on the house.

              [–]1independentmale 8 points9 points  (3 children)

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              He's not stuck. He can walk away from the mortgage. People do it every day. Just quit paying and let them repossess it. It's not admirable, but it is sometimes necessary.

              [–]a_tes_soulhaits 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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              You should have nothing in your life you cannot walk away from.

              [–]demoneyes905 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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              Correct me if I'm wrong but letting them repossess it is considered as going into default and would fuck up your credit.

              That would just cause more headaches down the line when you go to buy anything. I would say that this is a nuclear option and should be exercised if he has no other choice.

              [–]Science_isthenewcool 9 points10 points  (2 children)

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              Has anyone here msgd this guy and told him to check out TRP?

              [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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              I have and I'm sure many others have as well

              [–]Dreamtrain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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              That guy would come here, after a night of reading he will understand why the girl did what she did and how much of that was under his control, he'll be bitter at first, but he'll eventually forget about her, he'll be a better man, find a new girl and, because now due to swallowing the pill he knows how things work, he won't have a dead bedroom ever again and his woman will be happy.

              But oh no, TRP is clearly about hating women. /s

              [–]forgetful_storytellr 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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              Poor fella.

              Alright, which one of you did this?

              [–]JewSupremacist 9 points10 points  (1 child)

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              How did he put up with the lack of sex? They werent even married

              [–]mercuryg 14 points15 points  (0 children)

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              Dead bedroom for years, and now this?

              This isn't the first time she has cheated, i guarantee it.

              [–]WingsnLV 14 points15 points  (1 child)

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              I had an ex cheat on me. She had lost some weight and started getting attention from a mutual coworker. He was probably two points higher than me on the attractiveness scale. Our sex life had decreased ever since the weight came off and one day she just decided that she had to fuck me. I was doing my thing when she asked me to cum inside her. Being completely insane with horniness I did. It turns out she had cheated with him. It is pretty common for women to want to fuck their ltr after an affair partner to create a sperm war. Luckily she didn't get pregnant. We split and she is now humongous and disgusting. I dodged a serious bullet.

              [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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              I called it on the first post that she was trying to cuckhold the beta. I was correct; my alpha senses are becoming stronger..

              [–]BadJokeHour 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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              If ever a man needed redpill it's that guy. Jesus. he has a lot to learn

              [–]erqos 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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              She said it was only one time and she feels terrible and that we have invested so much into our relationship that she feels bad for jeapordising it.

              Jeopardising what? What relationship? Playing house?

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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              Added to that, this guy is now harrassing her at work, trying to make her go out with him and all this and she feels threatened, etc.

              A blatant attempt by her to engage his protective instinct. No doubt the other guy at work is avoiding her.

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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              Dump her ASAP.

              If she has any thoughts about carrying the baby to term, she must be clear in the moment that you want no part of it.

              If she tries to make this out to be your problem, you must get a paternity test. Don't sign anything.

              In fact, everyone should get a paternity test in every circumstance.

              If there is doubt, note that there are possibly prenatal paternity tests that can be don just using a blood draw from the mother -- the tests isolate fetal cells from the moms blood for testing. e.g. https://www.google.com/search?q=prenatal+paternity+test&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=sb

              [–]thegman84 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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              In fact, everyone should get a paternity test in every circumstance.

              Agreed. Paternity tests are very inexpensive in the US these days. There's no reason to ever not get one.

              Believe it or not, in some European countries (France for example) paternity tests are illegal. If every man started getting paternity tests, I could easily imagine the feminist ham-wagons tried to have them outlawed here too.

              [–]SupaPineapple 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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              I can practically TASTE the pill going down his throat.

              [–]arinot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              What are you doing with your tongue down his throat?

              [–]RealHumanHere 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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              He should've had:

              1. Separated finances.
              2. Not bought a house together.
              3. Remained fit and gathered good savings and investments.
              4. The moment she rejects sex with him: LEAVE HER, do not engage in desperatedly making her want you, she made her decision. You should NOT beg for sex, HE SPENT 1700 bucks on a f trip to make her want his cock. WTF? He can have numerous 10/10 escorts for that. Never beg for sex. Make her know you wont allow her to use sex as a currency, and that you have high enough value to have all the sex you want, and that if she doesnt provide it, you'll get it from another one soon. Make her want you.
              5. Have your own life. Don't depend on a woman, ever.

              The moment your GF starts costing you much more than an escort, you should start worrying.

              [–]CrustsRemoved 5 points6 points  (2 children)

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              I cringed at the part about him trying to buy his way into her pants. Lust can never be negotiated.

              [–]Misteralcala 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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              Lust can be bought. Hookers would have been cheaper.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              You don't know what lust is if you think it can be bought, even from a hooker. They'll spread their legs for more, but they are not lusting after you if they don't fuck you for free.

              [–]lubeoil 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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              the thing i have trouble with is arguing with women. what do i do? how do i defend myself and turn her from "me me me" to "oh shit, this guy knows his shit, i better suck his dick."

              [–]instaswole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              From what I've read on here, I am pretty sure it's not even worth trying. MGTOW.

              [–]Dimsml 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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              I'd rather say you just don't. She will actively try to blame you / manipulate you / make you feel sorry etc.

              That's why you shouldn't just react to this shit and shoot all the beta-preachers on sight.

              [–]Overkillengine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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              A takeaway people should be getting from this is that you cannot directly negotiate with or change this behavior. All you can do is refuse to reward it and for fucks sake do not propagate it by either breeding with them yourself or helping raise their spawn.

              [–]shifty4321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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              Someone get that man a red pill stat!

              [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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              Before anyone goes and writes this off as a one-off case of an unusually bitchy woman, let me tell you that this is an extremely common occurrence. I guarantee you that nearly every experienced man has at least one encounter with such a woman.

              If you're in a relationship in which there is no desire these behaviours come out like clockwork. AWALT, they all have the capacity for this. You simply need to give her incentive, which is precisely what being in an attraction-less relationship is.

              [–]Petrarch1603 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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              I suspect that her response and attempt to confuse him about the paternity is not volitional, and rather hard-wired into women.

              [–]DoesNotMatterAnymore 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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              [rage on]

              Fuck this shit... i just realized, THEY ARE NOT MARRIED!

              WTF, you are with someone for 9 years, and "We've had a dead bedroom for 5 years.", sleeping in different bedrooms? What is the reason to be with her then? You can keep the "DB experience" for your married life.

              I'm truely baffled by this.

              [rage off]

              [–]socio_j 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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              wow, some women are such trash its unbelievable. I believe you could even consider it psychopathic behaviour.

              [–]Clauderoughly[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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              [–]Dreamtrain 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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              Even post TRP I still sometimes feel uneasy, that I will end up like that in a dead bedroom.

              [–]Misteralcala 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              Stay vigilant. That's all a man can do.

              [–]heeb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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              If you are the King of your castle, and she is your Queen, how can that happen? You rule, because you’re the King. When she behaves well, reward her by fucking her good, long, deep, for both your pleasures. If she’s misbehaving, being silly, shit testing you, then punish her, by fucking her hard, for your pleasure, and for her punishment. Make her feel, literally, how she’s behaving, either way.

              ADDED: Oh, and of course, refusing sex is deserving of aforementioned punishment. Maybe not straight away, but 1 refusal = +1 punishment coming up.

              [–]bleh321 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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              This is like a text book Sperm Wars scenario.

              I honestly sometimes wish I never read that book. Being in a mono relationship, it is extremely difficult to swallow what is said....

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              Your gut is always right. remember this.

              [–]balalasaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              Man its stories like this that just show you how real solipsism is in women. What I really identify with is the fact that he tried so hard to (in his mind) make it work. Something that completely backfired and blew up in his face. That really sounds like something BP me would have done.

              Just as a question to the more experienced RPers out here - instead of doing the whole weekend get away thing where he was rejected again, what would have been the more appropriate course of action? I understand that his actions represented a complete loss of frame on his part - he was spending so much time trying to make her happy instead of himself. What could he have done differently if he had a rewind option?

              [–]tylerdurden100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              Forgive me if I say something stupid. i'm relatively new here and usually only comment on ask trp but I want to add something.

              "In my case, two months ago I spent upwards of £1700 taking her on a surprise long weekend visit to Rome. A great hotel, a wine tour, all the bells and whistles, I'd spent a clear month planning and executing it like a military operation in order to keep it under wraps. From sneaking her passport number out for the plane tickets, her driver license information for the hire car, making sure the bank statement was hidden so the surprise wouldn't get ruined, the whole thing!"

              Is this an example of men rationally trying to understand a break up. I remember reading about how for women love/sex cant be bargained. Is this an example of this principle?

              [–]1kick6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              I just feel like for once in my life, I have a problem I don't know how the fuck to fix

              You took her on a weekend vacation, and she wouldn't fuck you. More than once.

              No buddy, not "for once in your life." This, just now, isn't a problem you can't fix, you haven't been able to fix your relationship for a looonnngggg time. And the reason: you're unwilling to assess that your current tactics aren't working at all, and find new ones. Because that might (gasp) lead you to TRP.

              [–]shifty4321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

              In my case, two months ago I spent upwards of £1700 taking her on a surprise long weekend visit to Rome. A great hotel, a wine tour, all the bells and whistles, I'd spent a clear month planning and executing it like a military operation in order to keep it under wraps. From sneaking her passport number out for the plane tickets, her driver license information for the hire car, making sure the bank statement was hidden so the surprise wouldn't get ruined, the whole thing!

              During that weekend, I knew better to try anything sexual as I'd learned like a dog that to do so would bad! A year previous, we had a weekend away where I tried to make it sexy on day one but ended up being not on talking terms the rest of the weekend. But nevertheless, I did try on the Sunday before we were due to fly back the following Monday. I got turned down with another "why are you intent on ruining the weekend!" I'd only tried the once all weekend and even left it to the last day.

              What he should have done, soon as she rejected him.. go to sleep, wake up in the middle of the night, pack his stuff, grab BOTH their passports, check out of the hotel, fly home and leave her stranded there.

              [–]CrimsonIgloo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              I'm so glad the top comment for once, isn't "She made a mistake, take her back you heartless shit!".

              [–]Jswiizle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              Sounds like my old girlfriend... She somehow managed to blame cheating on me...

              [–]generic_name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              I loved the original thread, where everyone was telling him she was probably just really turned on by being around other men that were interested in her. That he should be thankful for her wanting to get on him at all and that he was being paranoid for no reason. No concern that this woman basically forced him to go bareback. No concern that she didn't want to take the morning after pill the next day. She was quite obviously trying to trap him into thinking he got her pregnant.

              Contrast that with this post http://www.redditlog.com/snapshots/919369 All of the advice - all of it - tells the girl to run away, that she is being abused by a man that wants to get her pregnant (not that I'm arguing, this guy sounds nuts). But it's interesting to see the differences in how people treat a man vs a woman in basically the same situation - a controlling S.O. trying to trap the other person into a pregnancy situation. The woman is being abused, the man is lucky to be getting sex.

              [–]Gabe6678 3 points4 points  (3 children)

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              I hate how everyone in the comments in that thread dismiss her behavior as just her being an unnapreciative cunt. Anytime there is a RP example in front of them, they claim the girl is just immature. None of them even consider that her behavior can be explained.

              [–]DarkSayed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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              Me [31 M] with my girlfriend [34 F]

              No, no nooo! that's not how you do it.

              [–]busior 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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              Don't treat this story as an exception - it's a typical woman

              [–]1cover20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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              Women condemn this too. Of course they know it's wrong even if they may do something like it themselves.

              The first few comments on /r/relationships seem like they're from women and they are entirely on his side. No solidarity with the bitch. Actually women are moralistic with each other, from what I've observed. And the more you let your girl go out with her girlfriends, the more she'll want you at the end.

              But they keep doing shit like this. Not as a team, but individually. And they they have to blame you for it, because there is literally nobody else they can even talk to about it. Their girlfriends won't help, and might rat them out to you. That's good. It means if you attack them about it, they'll eventually crack.