all 153 comments

[–]1MajorMid 118 points119 points  (32 children)

This reminds me of a story I heard about a friend of a friend.

Back in highschool this dude was dating a girl who would always claim how bad she wanted to go to Italy and how it was a dream of hers. So the boyfriend recreated and decorated his whole basement with Italy everything. All types of food and stuff. And invited the girlfriend over.

Girlfriend broke up with him because it was "creepy". Lol.

[–]jova33 17 points18 points  (12 children)

I like to be a minimalist when I'm just dating a girl. That has always had the most success with me. I'll take her out to where I want to go. I like movies, but I think it feels weird going to a movie by myself, so guess what? I'm taking her to see a damn movie whether she likes movies or not.

[–]1independentmale 44 points45 points  (11 children)

This is how I do it, too. "I'm doing x. You want to come?" That's how a date works. You plan something and invite her.

My LTR bitched recently, "We only ever do the things you want to do, we always eat at the restaurants you want to eat it, waaahhhh...". I said, "OK. What do you want to do tonight? Where do you want to eat?"

Her response: "I don't know." ಠ_ಠ

[–]ShagggyDog 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Damn. This exact conversation has happened a zillion time between me and my LTR. I am not joking.

[–]Echelon64 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It happens in every LTR. I like going to the movies a lot but if I start taking the GF there too many times she'll whine and moan. I just now keep a short list of places I like to go and mentally keep track of how many times I go.

None the wiser.

Same thing with eating out, I'll go to a place frequently, avoid it for a month, then go back and I'll say "it's been a while since we've been here huh?" And she'll agree and mentioned how she missed it, how the food is delicious, and how we should come here more often.

Women, I swear.

[–]jova33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many of my best "dates" I would simply cancel and tell them that they could come over to my place.

[–]candyred1 33 points34 points  (16 children)

What in the actual fuck is wrong with people!?! I would be so impressed and feel so cared for if a man did this for me, that he would be in blowjob heaven every day for months on end.

[–]1AreYouAware_ 81 points82 points  (2 children)

Do remember where you are.

Since we believe only what you do rather than what you say, have there been any such gestures that a man tried to perform for you that caused you to back away and cut him off? If no man has yet tried something like this, you may find your reaction is different in real life than what you imagine.

[–]Endorsed Contributorcocaine_face 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Also there's the question of whether she's in our target demographic.

If she gets almost no romantic gestures whatsoever, and very little amounts of commitment from guys, behavior like this will appear more attractive to her, whereas our target demographic gets commitment offers all the time.

[–]DominicHustle22 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People seem to forget, at least in this instance, a woman that likes you will view EVERYTHING you do in a better light including this.

The dude ALREADY LOST her, she's not looking at him and his actions with rose colored glasses anymore; and if she's truly done then anything he does will end up being pathetic. This isn't a alpha/beta issue. It's a "I still like you but you don't like me" issue.

Some of this stuff is good for seduction and whatnot but if some of you out here think by putting this charade on it'll work 100%, it won't. If you actively try to do this stuff then you're not improving, you're playing a game. One you can most definitely win if the end game is sex. But unless you find a really weak woman they won't stick around if there's no substance (or a plethora of money). But of course some guys just want the physical. This isn't me attempting to shit on anybody, just to clarify.

[–]RedPill115 14 points15 points  (4 children)

What in the actual fuck is wrong with people!?! I would be so impressed and feel so cared for if a man did this for me, that he would be in blowjob heaven every day for months on end.

The other thing is that what's often missing from these stories is context.

Imagine you had been dating someone for a while, but things weren't that great for you recently. You're still pulled in a little bit, but more and more you find yourself wanting to distance yourself from the other person.

Feeling you pulling away, the guy decorates his entire basement to be about Italy in dedication to you. But you are trying to distance and extricate yourself from this guy - it's creepy. The gesture is volatile - it either pulls you back in, or repulses you.

I had a girl recently who I had been on the fence about, but wanted to pull away from. I started thinking about if I suddenly found out that she had this huge dedication to me right when I wanted to distance myself from her - yikes.

P.S. The other problem is that dedication to the girl did used to be small currency in the sexual marketplace. A tall alpha guy who was dedicated would beat a tall alpha guy who was not - in general. Nowadays, whether it's feminism or some other factor, women seem to see dedication as either neutral or a negative.

[–]Esco9 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That P.S. was fucking brilliant, especially the last sentence about women seeing dedication as a neutral or negative.

[–]RedPill115 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, to be fair, it's something other trp'ers have mentioned that refined my phrasing on it. It's true either way though.

I don't think it's ever been the case that "just" dedication made you attractive. And I think their have always been some women turned off by dedication.

But I do think it had some value in the past that it doesn't have now. It seems like it used to be that dedication had some small currency for most women, now for most women it's neutral or negative, with a minority of women still valuing it.

[–]1wiseclockcounter -1 points0 points  (1 child)

i agree with everything you said except the last part about their view of dedication. They want all the dedication in the world, but only from the men they choose... They create a sniveling bitch. Then to their humble surprise, they find themselves disgusted and devour his ego.

[–]RedPill115 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, wow, that is one seriously disturbing image.

Sorry to be all "not all women are like that", but - many women will grind you down then drop you if you don't hold your own frame. Most women - will not do something that approaches the level of that pic though, lol. They'll just drop you like a rock.

A few will, and one should be on guard for those.

[–]sunwukong15 7 points8 points  (1 child)

There are a lot more women commenting on this sub...

Really? You would react positively? Have any guys done something like this for you before?

[–]candyred1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, can't remember a guy doing something like that before. I guess I could count the 3 times my boyfriend drove 120 miles at the last minute to spend an hour or two with me, then had to drive back in time to pick up his daughter from daycare. I was happy to see him and felt he really cared for me. BTW, we are married now with kids. On another note, I have gone way out of my way to do things for a guy that should have been truly appreciated and impressed by. But most of the time they just took it like it was nothing. My question with the basement guy is, were they sleeping together? That makes things different. If he did that for her and they had not slept together, I could see how she may be creeped out, but she should be polite about it and not be a bitch about it. If they were sleeping together and she got creeped out by what he did, then she is even more crazy than I thought.

[–]hohamocha 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Actions speak louder than words...

[–]tsudonimh 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Because what she wanted was to go to Italy. Where she would be desired by sexy Italian stallions the length of the country who would wine and dine her during the day and fuck her silly all night.

Having a boy do something so cheap as decorate a room instead of buying her a month long fuckfest clearly shows he did not value her pussy. Such an action was insulting, therefore he was a creep.

[–]yumyumgivemesome 5 points6 points  (1 child)

No, she wanted a big expensive trip to feel like a fancy princess and take pictures throughout to make the girls back home seethe with jealousy.

[–]fiat_lux_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's actually kind of understandable, and even rational. It can be quite a normal reaction when you think about it. Let's think of the possibilities:

  • There might be other off-putting aspects that we're not seeing. Maybe his efforts looked very bad. The sentiment might be nice, but he may have demonstrated very poor common sense or artistic sense with his decorations. In that case we have very nice sentiment with poor execution. Incompetence or lack of awareness might have been disgusting or laughable to her.
  • He spent all this time specifically on her. He is making his life revolve around her. Doesn't he have his own life outside hers? Why is this guy so desperate to impress her?
  • The girl might be intimidated about the idea of being smothered.
  • Maybe this girl didn't actually like him that much in the first place, and was only temporarily keeping him as a "space-filler" or "accessory" boyfriend... because you know, some girls just like being in relationships but don't actually like their bfs. Relationships in high school usually don't last forever, and she might have thought things were becoming too serious, too fast.

Plenty of normal reasons for girls to completely be put off by that "beta behaviour".

The reason why a lot of guys are pissed off is because they were never told any of this stuff, just told to be romantic and put a shit-ton of effort into one girl, and in reality it doesn't always work that way.

The anger is really unnecessary in the long run, and you as a woman definitely don't need it towards other women.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]I_Wear_Jorts5 60 points61 points  (19 children)

    Give a woman an inch and she'll take a mile. Then she'll complain she didn't get two miles.

    Great point. Essentially, Briffault's law 101. Something that all guys starting on TRP need to internalize and understand. Women are hardly, if ever, grateful for things you do for them. The millisecond you buy them something or do something for them, they immediately begin expecting more. In the end, it's not about what you do for a woman or what you can give her (unless you are a top tier BB), but about how you make her feeeeel. So, even though this guy goes out of his way and creates a "romantic" website, it makes her feel creeped out.

    [–]kanaduhisfruityeh 39 points40 points  (15 children)

    That's what's wrong with the bitches in rich Western countries. They have men kissing their asses and spoiling them too much and it only makes them bitchier, more miserable, and more entitled.

    [–]I_Wear_Jorts5 10 points11 points  (8 children)

    It is annoying, but I understand it from their perspective. I say this a lot on here, but you cannot negotiate passion, which, by extension, means you cannot buy passion either. It's either there through "the feelz" or it isn't. The current dating scene may make some women bitchy or entitled, but once you stop giving them things just for having a pussy, you put yourself in a much better position to bypass the bitch shield. You separate yourself from the typical idiot who thinks buying girls shots will get him laid.

    [–]Cross_of_Coronado 13 points14 points  (7 children)

    It's funny how close we're to feminists in this regard. They say that you can't buy a Woman. Red Pill says the exact same.

    [–]I_Wear_Jorts5 12 points13 points  (5 children)

    And yet somehow, we are the sexist pigs

    [–]Cross_of_Coronado 11 points12 points  (4 children)

    Because we hold the Power. Do you also feel as powerful as I do? Because I can't feel Jackshit.

    [–]Lightning14 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    Most powerful people are men. However, most people are not powerful, and the average woman holds more power (socially and sexually) than the average man.

    [–]through_a_ways 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    and the average woman holds more power (socially and sexually) than the average man.

    No, the averages are probably equal. The median woman holds more power than the median man, though.

    [–]Lightning14 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    You are arguing semantics where we are both correct. The average person is the median. I never said the mean, and I never said the average of men or women. When looking at the average person in demographics the median is usually implied because of the extreme outliers that exist.

    [–]BluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You can't "buy" a woman's love but you can trick it out of her using game. That is what they really hate because it affects their carefully orchestrated campaign of lies, social conventions, and advantages they have in fulfilling their hypergamy. Oh no! That guy I fucked might not really be an Alpha. He might have just been "acting" confident. Woe is me.

    [–]1redpillbanana 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    I wonder if part of it is biological. There are a few relevant studies:

    Ultimately, rich Western countries are going to have more men than women. Since men and women tend to pair up and leave the SMP, any deviation from an even ratio will be magnified among the unpaired.

    Last I checked, the USA has a half million more men than women aged 18-40.

    [–]through_a_ways 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Seems to be the polar opposite of what I thought was happening:

    [–]4ryan42 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    That's because women on average die older, men are riskier in their lives so they die earlier. So the total amount of women is higher in the western world, but if you look at young ages it's the opposite as more men are born.

    [–]through_a_ways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's because women on average die older, men are riskier in their lives so they die earlier.

    Wouldn't the men in third world/equatorial countries die even sooner as well?

    The high female at birth ratio is more African than equatorial. The highest male nations seem to be micronations , and Caucasus and Asian countries (even excluding India and China in case sex selective abortion plays too big a role)

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    1/2 million difference in a population of about 300 million isn't significant enough to make a difference.

    [–]1redpillbanana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Since men and women tend to pair up and leave the SMP, any deviation from an even ratio will be magnified among the unpaired.

    Also a large portion of that 300 million are older folks and kids, folks who are not heavy participants in the SMP.

    [–]jiveraffe 15 points16 points  (1 child)

    The millisecond you buy them something or do something for them, they immediately begin expecting more.

    Beige Philip Rule #3: Repeated favors become obligations. Anything you do for a woman more than three times becomes an obligation that she is entitled to.

    [–]I_Wear_Jorts5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Never seen this before, but I agree wholeheartedly. It's funny when they feel entitled to something and you take it away though. For example, I used to smoke up an old plate I had most times when she came over. I mostly did it just to be nice and it wasn't a big deal. Eventually, I noticed that she'd expect it ("ummm when are we smoking???) So I just stopped it entirely. You couldn't imagine the bitch fit she had when I told her she had to either bring her own pot or buy a little from me. Called me cheap, an asshole, a buzzkill, etc, etc. I'd love to be able to be nice and generous to all my plates, because that's honestly who I am undeneath it all. Unfortunately, I don't take kindly to ANYONE who thinks they are entitled to my generosity.

    [–]dabayer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    "Why give a b*tch an inch, when she rather have nine"

    [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 212 points213 points  (28 children)

    I don't defend this creepy, selfish site in the least, but let's be honest: if this was in a rom-com, girls might eat it up. In other words, I sometimes feel for the mixed messages dudes get about romantic gestures. Not to the point of excusing this shit though.

    That lovely comment, from commenter "Jenna Joyce", is about the most poignant admission of at least 5 different TRP maxims I can think of right off the top of my head.

    What she really means is, if Matthew McConaughey pulled this shit in a movie, girls would tingle so hard their clits would be diagnosed with seizures. And not because they found it attractive, but because it would be following a Disney-esque storyline that they all romanticize that they should find attractive. And it's because the man doing it is a man so far out of her league, it wouldn't matter if he was making romantic websites or farting on her upper lip.

    But remove a pathetic gesture like this from the context of fantasy and place it squarely in the realm of reality with a normal guy in the normal guise of a relationship, and it's pathetic, nauseating, and "creepy".

    And she freely admits that women communicate "mixed messages". Well, actually a "mixed" message would contain even a small dosage of truth to it regarding what truly makes the panties soak. This is actually a "hamsterese" admission by the lovely Jenna here that TRP is spot-on accurate with "watch what a woman reacts to, never listen to what she says."

    Because at the end of the day, if you were to listen to the shit she "says" she finds attractive, she's never gonna "excuse this shit".

    edit additions edit 2 thanks for gold

    [–]joaquim56 68 points69 points  (20 children)

    I love how the Internet has lifted the veil.

    Gentleman, this is how women talk about beta males amongst their girlfriends. Now its all out in the open.

    And wow at that site. If men created a site like that aimed at making fun of women it would be shutdown by the Cathedral quicker than quick.

    [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 58 points59 points  (17 children)

    I actually think a significant part of the reason women find romantic gestures nauseating is because it requires them to assume agency on their part. It puts pressure on them. It makes them feel as though they need to reciprocate, and honestly, many of them don't know how to reciprocate, because men are the romantic sex, not women. So they panic, and ridicule is the safest, mot failsafe response that she can come up with to get her "woman advantage" back in the face of an uncomfortable situation. It's worse if done in public or in front of her friends, and there is no more public forum in the world than the internet.

    The man, by virtue of giving flowers, chocolates, singing songs, writing poetry, making romantic websites, or whatever shit beta fucks do in /r/relationships, is surrendering his masculinity and power dynamic in the relationship to the woman. And by doing so, the man is betraying himself in her presence. And everything she "thought" this man was literally evaporates into thin air. Thin, stinky, foul-stenched air, that she can't help but wince at.

    Here she thought she had a man on her hands, and it turns out he was nothing more than a walking, talking Hallmark card. And women don't wanna fuck Hallmark cards.

    [–]aBitClearer 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    This is a spot on analysis of how I behaved and how my ex-wife responded during my 12 year marriage. I built custom wood boxes, lined them with velvet (she loved boxes), I compiled a book of all the love letters I wrote her, built a website for her (a Valentine's Day gift), surprised her with a new car, jewelry and the like, and what did it get me??

    nothing but contempt she cheated on me totally disrespected me in public as much as in private

    In couples therapy, she told the therapist that all the gifts made her feel like she was in a competition with me, instead of feeling like the luckiest girl in the world for having such a thoughtful and loving husband

    I could not fathom what I was doing to deserve her hatred of me. That was over 7 years ago, and I've woken up to my extreme blue pill behaviors, and seen the RP truth that all I did was create an atmosphere that spawned hatred.

    Today, I'm struggling to find a balance, and it is a struggle worth having.

    Now when I read OKC profiles where women claim that they are hopeless romantics, I chuckle a bit, and wonder if I should just next um, or game um. Then I always come to the realization that gaming um will take just way too much time, and continue to search for fruit worth picking!

    [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Remember, I'll harken back to "watch what they do not what they say". If she says she's a "hopless romantic" but every pic in her profile is with her holding a cocktail, a beer, and she's in a bikini, living the party life and making duckface selfies with her friends, you have to weigh that against what she's saying, and adjust accordingly.

    [–]BlueRaspberry 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    90% of the women I've seen on OKC that say they're hopeless romantics are overweight.

    [–]joaquim56 11 points12 points  (11 children)

    Rollo Tomassi of TRM had a great description of romance from a woman's perspective in a recent podcast he did.

    Women (do not) expect romance from their alpha stud…The guy that she was (with) when she was 25… in her dorm room… that guy didn’t bring her roses, ok, that guy didn’t bring her a nice glass of wine and have some (lame) date night. ~Rollo Tomassi

    [–]elevul 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Can you link the podcast, please?

    [–]PF_25 1 point2 points  (7 children)

    I don't get the quote. Can you explain it further?

    [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 24 points25 points  (1 child)

    Romantic gestures have nothing to do with raw attraction. Romantic gestures are something women say they like to men who they're not rabidly attracted to.

    You could show up at a woman's door, bring her roses at her front door, buy her a $200 romantic dinner, take her on a cruise, and kiss her ass incessantly, and at best you might get some duty sex every once in a while. Or, at worst, she might say that you're "too sweet" and she wants to "just be friends".

    Brad Pitt could show up at her door, call her a dirty slut, toss her a bag of Reese's Pieces when she says she's hungry, call her friends a bunch of sassy bitches, smack her on the ass, and he's gonna get to bend her over and fuck her doggystyle over a bar stool while he films it, and she'll believe him when he says he won't put the video on the internet for his friends to watch.

    Get it?

    [–]RedPillFusion 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Brad Pitt would show up and bend her over because of treating her this way, not in spite of.

    That and because, yeah, he has the highest SMV on the planet.

    [–]BluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Pathetic romantic gestures are an attempt to negotiate her desire.

    You cannot negotiate desire. You can only command and create it- and NOT by doing romantic bullshit.

    The Alpha Fuck at 25 did not romance her. He did not bring her flowers or wine. He fucked her silly and then left to go fuck another girl. That is how she knows he is an Alpha. If the Beta guy fucks her and then sticks around she knows she gave it up for an inferior man and loses attraction.

    [–]PF_25 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I feel like the major thing new people to this sub need to realize (as I have) is that all of this is contingent on the girl reciprocating her affection.

    Romantic gestures to this degree are gross in any situation and I wouldn't even do this much with my girlfriend, but to say that any and all romantic gestures make you beta is extreme.

    I feel there's a good amount of truth in this sub, but the extremism really takes it to a whole other level of undistinguished craziness. Let's qualify with each of these claims, theories, and tenants. It's not the same for every case.

    [–]BluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    to say that any and all romantic gestures make you beta is extreme.

    Alpha gives the tingles, Beta gives the warm fuzzies. Both are needed for a LTR.

    I think the terminology needs to be adjusted. So many dudes think "Beta" is "bad" when Beta is absolutely necessary for a healthy relationship. As Athol Kay (May Peace Be Upon Him) says all the time, you need a mix. Don't forget its Alpha Fucks AND Beta Bucks. You need both for a LTR. You can't be the uber-Alpha all the time or she starts pining for her Beta Buck. You can't be the Beta provider all the time or she starts trolling for an Alpha Fuck.

    Where clarification would help would be the introduction of a 3rd category. Many of the "Beta" behaviors that people decry are actually "Omega" and not "Beta." While Beta is "sweet" and "nice" Omega is just "gross" and cringe worthy.

    Bringing your GF flowers or wine is Beta. However, it is important to understand that this behavior is NOT sexually attractive to women (despite what they ALWAYS say) BUT it is sweet and necessary in some measure. You need to generate some warm fuzzies with the tingles to lock her in.

    Pathetic, unreciprocated romantic gestures are Omega, not Beta.

    TLDR: For a healthy LTR you need both Alpha and Beta, but nobody wants Omega.

    [–]PF_25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I agree with this analysis. Well said.

    [–]IWillHandleIt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Doesn't fit with my experience. I took my wife on a date back in August. We dressed up. I looked great and so did she. We went to a nice restaurant. Food was great and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I sat on the same side of the booth, next to her and she gave me a couple of kisses and lots of adoring looks.

    Of course half the reason I went was that I wanted to go. I like that restaurant. It was not something I grudgingly did because I was brow-beat into it or felt obligated.

    Wife was raving about it for a couple of days afterwards and she definitely appreciated it.

    But this may be the key: She does not expect this from me. I don't do it all that often. I don't do it for her approval. I don't do it to try to make up for something she's mad at me about. I do it because I want to. And when I do, she just loves it. Probably because she's already crazy about me.

    Also, I'm that stud she was with when she was 25.

    P.S. What 25-year-old lives in a dorm room?

    [–]BluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes some Beta is fine if she is attracted to her Alpha stud. Some Beta when she is trying to find another Alpha cock does not work. Not at all.

    [–]sunwukong15 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Wow this kind of hit me. In my last long term relationship I tried to win her back after a fight by bringing her flowers and her favorite food. 3 women told me she would LOVE if I did this, HAHA.

    She was PISSED. I never understood why she got mad, over a year of being together, I bring you flowers to say sorry, and you get mad?

    I put pressure on her in front of her cooworkers. I put pressure on her to reciprocate. So she did what was easiest for her and reacted negativly. Men really are the romantic sex...

    [–]beware_the_syllogism 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    would be shut down by the Cunthedral

    [–]through_a_ways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    it would be shutdown by the Cathedral quicker than quick.

    I'm occasionally read DE stuff, but god if the terminology doesn't make me cringe harder than the beta website linked to in OP.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    And it's because the man doing it is a man so far out of her league, it wouldn't matter if he was making romantic websites or farting on her upper lip.

    And conversely, if the "male ally" in her women's studies class who joins her in making "end rape culture" signs for the rally at the student union even MENTIONS one thing about how he wants a woman to have sex with or how women could change some things about themselves, he will be shamed and blasted. "How dare you think you are entitled to sex...ugh?!"

    But these same women will turn around and change everything about themselves to accommodate the unyielding hard-nosed captain of the football team who requires his dates to wear heels.

    [–]ExpendableOne 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    If this had been in a romantic comedy, women would have labelled this man passionate, romantic and devoted, rather than creepy and pathetic. They would be asking the men in their lives "why don't you ever do stuff like that?", and raving about it to their girlfriends.

    I don't know if it's necessarily because the leads in those rom-coms are typically just ridiculous hot/attractive(and so thoroughly objectified that he could pretty much get away with anything), because they can't even relate on a human level with men in the real world, or because they just have an incredibly hostile and misandric disposition towards men they aren't attracted to in the first place, but clearly it is easier for these women to attack and vilify than approaching this with any kind of maturity or fair-mindedness.

    The people who rush to call this guy creepy, for trying to do something romantic or even simply for just being this passionate about someone(as opposed to just being emotionally detached or predisposed to treating every woman/relationship as easily disposed of), are dipping in to some pretty disturbing, and disgusting, sentiments or even jumping to some very nasty conclusion.

    [–]RedPill115 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    If this had been in a romantic comedy, women would have labelled this man passionate, romantic and devoted, rather than creepy and pathetic. They would be asking the men in their lives "why don't you ever do stuff like that?", and raving about it to their girlfriends.

    The setup in the romantic comedy would have been completely different. She would have left him for some reason, then realized it was either trivial or a mistake. Like a "she thought he was cheating, then found out through her friends that the girl he was hugging and seemed very close to but didn't actually get physical with actually WAS his biological sister, but she just got jealous and mad and didn't give him a chance to explain".

    When he comes back with a gesture that says "I was thinking about you and am interested in having you back" and it provides her an excuse to get back with him without losing face over the fact that she got mad completely unfairly, she throws herself at him - osteniably because of his gesture, but more because the context from above that she's looking for a reason to fix her mistake in breaking up with him in the first place.

    [–]RedPillFusion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Friggin nail on the head, this post. Well said, guy.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


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      [–]martypete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      nicely worded.

      /u/changetip $1

      [–]Ignatius_Oh_Reilly 34 points35 points  (7 children)

      Women tell you what they want to want. Not what they actually do.

      [–]charlesbukowksi 38 points39 points  (3 children)

      Even what they want is intangible and fucking silly: women want desirable men to desire them. And the definition of a desirable man? One who shouldn't desire them.

      [–]OsoFeo 30 points31 points  (1 child)

      "I would never want to belong to a club that would have someone like me as a member."

      [–]BluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Nails it! The Red Pill in concentrated form right there.

      [–]nsummy 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Truest comment I've ever read on here. First time I ever got my heart broken I learned the hard way that when you start doing everything that the woman says she wants, you are in for a bad time.

      Women do actually want that stuff, but it has to be in small dosages. Just like mothers tell their daughters not to "give away the farm" dads should do the same thing with their sons. Unfortunately when the girl leaves, the guy foolishly goes overboard and does it all.

      In reality though, it goes both ways, I don't want a girl that does every single thing for me, its not attractive. Must be a human trait, unless you were born into royalty.

      [–]Ignatius_Oh_Reilly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Heck even royalty doesn't want that, unless they're looking to hire a servant.

      [–]I_Wear_Jorts5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      They'll tell you what they want. They just won't tell you that your contribution is meaningless once they get it.

      [–]cwschizzy 36 points37 points  (9 children)

      I have no words. I used to be this guy.

      [–]diogopim 12 points13 points  (5 children)

      Recently I had to search in my phone messages for a link my girl sent me a few months ago, before I found it I was reading through messages and honestly thinking "who wrote that?!". These were messages from February and January around the time I started reading TRP.

      I honestly can't relate to that person - my old self.

      [–]forgetful_storytellr 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      a lot of ;) I <3 U BB XOXOX

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I'm trying to break the habit of using smilie faces. It's tough. It's like someone took away the terminal punctuation mark that indicates sarcasm. I end up having to reconstruct multiple sentences to communicate my points.

      [–]Baylien2 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      You must be proud of how far you progressed since then

      [–]diogopim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I really am. It was a really strange experience going back in time through my messages... The further I went the more distant I felt from the old self.

      [–]johnnywahd 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      Guitar player and songwriter here who looked back at the lyrics I wrote pre-RP and think, "Geez." I would get oneitis real bad & write a song about the girl. Thank God I never gave any of the songs to the girls.

      Even became more than just friends with a girl I worked with a few years back. I was just part of her carousel ride, but was totally in love with her. Well as she was about to move back home and start a new job I wrote a little poem-ish thing about the our time together. Again thank God I never gave it to her.

      I just have this image in mind whenever the tendency might arise to do something like this (came from some movie) where the girl receives a gift from one of her beta orbiters who is madly in love with her, who worked really hard on the gift and finally had the courage to present it to her. Shocked and secretly disgusted deep down, she says, "Aww. That' sweet."

      [–]2asd1100 13 points14 points  (2 children)

      SO MUCH HATE. This is beyond being a reasonable troll. I don't think even Shauna hates this guy so much. So much vitriol for what is at worst a desperate gesture. What kind of person kicks a man when he is down?

      I don't really get female humor but there wasn't even a attempt at comedy, she is just pouring on the hate for a person she doesn't know. I don't know the author but I hope she never gets a man close enough to poison his live with her ugly personality.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]2asd1100 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        it could be that she is a smart writer and bitter sells, just look at our best of,

        or she is envious that nobody will ever humiliate himself publicly for her bitter ass.

        [–]southernfriedcode 9 points10 points  (2 children)

        Did everyone miss the 'EDIT' at the bottom of the post that makes it seem like the website worked?

        From the link: "Update: If Facebook sleuthing is any indication, Shauna totally took him back."

        [–]1runnerrun2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Exactly. This is just one very sad and bitter woman making a blog post for attention. If you look at the context however, the guy first blew the girl off for wanting to commit, so this website totally worked for him. Same as in the movies. Think about it, in the movies the guys may go overboard but typically they have DO have commitment issues and had no problem leading a merry social life and attracting the woman with wits and charm - so while exaggerated, it's not as unrealistic as you might think!

        The situation where it is pathetic is when the guy failed to attract the girl properly, she got bored of him, yeah sure that's when it's creepy to do this. I've been in both situations. Making a really lame impression and then laming it up some more trying to make up for it. But I've also overqualified and came off as a casanova who doesn't care about her, in which case the right move is actually to beta it up a bit to show her you do care.

        Sorry to say but some not so good posts on TRP today. First I read the advice that you should cut a woman out if she doesn't respond to your call as if you're Brad Pitt, now this. Sorry if I rant a bit but if you cater to a beginner mindset like this, at least qualify it like that please. The more aloof way you see guys that are succesful with women go about things is quite different from the reactionary way that guys who just woke up to having a self-image will behave.

        I'd rank it as follows:

        level 0: TBP, you're lame and don't realize it.

        level 1: TRP, you wake up and compensate by creating more value.

        level 2: mixed strategy of both where you try to naturally create more value, be more alpha but also display enough typically beta attributes to show you care about her and don't be a douchebag who alienates people.

        [–]rpusername -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I feel like I'm about to throw up

        [–]twistedbrother2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        I made a romantic website for a girl once - back in 10th grade when I was a virgin, and I was properly ridiculed by my friends and her friends and her for it.

        [–]1IVIaskerade 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        My favourite part is where she starts saying "You're not being specific enough for my liking! I want to know your real name, and what the 'mistakes' you made were!"

        She dresses this up as cowardice "He doesn't have the balls to get into specifics" when she's really just fishing for juicy details, annoyed that the man could be so selfish as to not let the world tear him apart over his specific mistakes. I mean, this site is for only one person, and both of them already know what happened, but this woman, like most of them, can't just let it remain a private matter between two individuals, she has to know the details.

        It's unintentionally ironic, that in a blog post about how this website is "all about him" she tries to make it all about her instead.

        [–]Bottled_Void 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Seems like he won her back.

        Happy BPing to him if that's what he wants.

        Sounds like he was doing it right the first time around.

        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        Making a mixtape, giving your favourite book, doing a portrait, surprising her with some small gift or event - these gestures are what you do after you're in an established relationship, never before you're in it or after you're out of it.

        It's simple: if you're a high-value man in her eyes you won't need to go to these lengths to win her.

        [–]thisjibberjabber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Well, apparently it wasn't really over. No doubt, he went way overboard and deep into blue pill territory. But since she dumped him because he wouldn't give enough commitment, not because she wanted to leave, he still had that bargaining chip to work with.

        I've got two friends who had no intention of getting married again after their divorces. But one was married recently and the other will be soon. It's hard to escape the pull of expectations and (hoped for) regular sex and companionship.

        [–]FUTBALAR 15 points16 points  (13 children)

        I read the entire article and I am enraged, to say the least. It feels like the author (Jessica Coen) has some kind of personal vendetta against the dude who made the site. The title starts with "Pathetic Man"; later, the dude is called "Sad Sack Sam". WHAT THE FUCK?! Seriously!
        So, she comes across a website that was dedicated to an ex and defamation was the first thing that came in her mind? WOW!


        [–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 36 points37 points  (9 children)

        Actually, I agree with her. He was pathetic. He's an oxytocin junkie getting high on his declarations of love in this little romantic fantasy he's concocted.

        Another bluepill slipping over the edge of the reality cliff. Hopefully he'll get the harsh landing he needs and wake the fuck up.

        [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 14 points15 points  (1 child)

        Don't know who's downvoting you but you're absolutely correct. Seems we have a few anger phasers this morning.

        [–]1AreYouAware_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        There are a lot of people here these days who still have some sort of emotional attachment or investment in their BP selves, and reflexively hit the blue button when you drop a hard truth like this without trying to cushion the blow.

        They have seen through one set of illusions that were crafted for them without having the ability to see through the ones they created for themselves.

        [–]bertmaklinFBI 6 points7 points  (5 children)

        Don't know why you are getting downvoted. The guy is pathetic and needs to get called out on his nonsense. She is doing him and others like him a service by not sugar coating it.

        [–]DexterousRichard -1 points0 points  (4 children)

        He may be pathetic, but a decent person doesn't have to be a dick or a bitch to him in order to wake him up.

        [–]bertmaklinFBI 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        Got it. You want some lube before you get fucked up the ass.

        [–]AndrewAtrus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Nothing wrong with that. A spoonful of GLO helps the medicine go down.

        [–]forgetful_storytellr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        It won't wake you up unless it hurts.

        [–]1AreYouAware_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Considering that she took him back, I think his awakening is nowhere to be seen on the horizon.

        You're certainly correct, but strangely enough it appears that this tactic actually "worked" for him.

        [–]blarsen80 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        There's been a very aggressive change at Gawker properties in the past few months. I've noticed Deadspin writing tabloid-style headlines and articles, all designed to get you pissed off.

        Gawker properties lure you in with a basic subject matter, then do everything possible to get you riled up one you're there.

        [–]through_a_ways 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I'll play Devil's Advocate: the company's name is Gawker, for fuck's sake.

        [–]1IVIaskerade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        then do everything possible to get you riled up one you're there.

        They don't need to do that, that's just because they can't get away with having nothing after a clickbaity link, and ranting is easier than writing a proper article.

        [–]Deaddpooll 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        This is fucking stupid and desperate.

        At least be a charming beta

        [–]1favours_of_the_moon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Here's what Jezebel says about it: "It wouldn't be out of place in a police report."

        That's where their mind is at, boys. Remember that, next time SHE does something INSANE.

        [–]Cross_of_Coronado 2 points3 points  (1 child)


        everything is creepyyyy, everyones a creep when he's not looking gooood. Everything is creepyyy, If you think he's not good

        [–]Surf_Or_Die 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I'm gonna side with the sluts on this. It's creepy as fuck. This is the kind of guy who would rather flay you alive and wear your skin while he's jerking off to old pictures of the two of you together than let you go.


        [–]1tombreck2 10 points11 points  (3 children)

        Remind me of Robin Thicke writing a song called "Get her back" a few months ago.

        She divorced him last month

        [–]Gold_Mouth 19 points20 points  (2 children)

        He fucked all the way up. Shaved his head and made a whole album dedicated to her that sold like seven copies and talked about her every time he got on TV like all that shit was gonna get her back.

        [–]mctoasterson 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        Dancing with topless models in front a white wall is more effective.

        [–]vzhu 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        "At the age of 14, Robin Thicke first met actress Paula Patton in 1991 at an under-21 hip-hop club called Balistyx (co-founded and co-hosted by David Faustino) on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles, when he asked her to dance. According to Thicke, he sang Stevie Wonder's "Jungle Fever" to her as they danced. Thicke began dating Patton at the age of 16."

        He never had a chance.

        [–]charlesbukowksi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        It is because women know how codependent they are that they hold codependence from men in contempt. They are the par excellence of what we in psychology call a social loafer.

        [–]JohnF30 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        "To become a good fisherman, ask another fisherman, not the fish"

        This is my new favorite quote of all time.

        [–]Mouthpiece 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        TLDR: desperation is NOT sexy.

        Red pill as fuck.

        [–]1Jaereth 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        You want a real look at how women view the "romantic" gestures like this guy here did? Look at the words she uses in the article.

        The websites OP is a "Sad Sack". He's a "Man-child". He "doesn't have the balls" to get into the specifics of his breakup. He's "desperate" to get his girl back and makes a "bat shit insane" website, which is a "groveling attempt" to get his girl back.

        And yet, this is what the media narrative says. This is piped into the homes of youngsters growing up. That this kinda shit works and in the end they will ride off into the sunset together.

        In reality, even if she does take him back, the absolute lack of respect the girl will have for him for the rest of their lives together will ensure their time together will be anything but fairytale...

        [–]dvidsilva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        To be honest the guy is pretty pathetic, like we need a new category for people like that.

        [–]sunwukong15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The funny thing about all this is even though I was always blue pill at heart... I was always lazy as fuck.

        I would not say I am a "natural Alpha", but I just would not put up the effort to do shit for her.

        Didn't buy her gifts because I am cheap. Always chose the restaurants because I am cheap. Always had her come to my house instead of going out because I am lazy and cheap. Never wrote her some stupid poem, never sent her long romantic text messages. She would ask me to do shit for her and I would just say no because I am lazy. I would even blow her off from time to time so I could sleep in.

        At times I would feel worried I wasn't doing enough sweet things, but in reality my laziness helped keep the relationship together.

        [–]LukesLikeIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        If you continually treat a women like shes too good for you she will start to believe it.

        [–]candyred1 2 points3 points  (4 children)

        I am completely shocked by everything I am reading here. I am also disgusted in that I am living in a world where any "woman" would be such a cold-hearted self-centered bitch. Not all women are like this, I am nothing like this and am very angry that other women are. What happened to being a Lady? What happened to traditional values? Maybe I am one of the few lucky women to have had a caring, kind hearted mother with morals and respect for men as well as anybody. If any of my daughters act like the way these people are I will be deeply disappointed and feel like a failure as a parent. Evolution didn't intend for women to become selfish c**ts who dress trashy with their tits hanging out half naked, who must only go for men that are assholes and macho. I get the whole natural attraction to an alpha male as it is ingrained for survival instincts, but we are more intelligent than animals and that is no excuse for the way these women are behaving.

        Edit: I was just told that men probably think women like me are usually unattractive and can't find a boyfriend. That they would be shocked to see I'm "a 9" and very attractive, and don't use that to stomp on men.

        [–]DrXaos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Now, among women, how often does the woman doing the nasty "creep-shaming" (for something naive and romantic, not actually stalker-creepy) herself get shamed?

        About sometime to never. The nastycackles pile up.

        [–]hipst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It can't be any worse than the Gary Dell'abate apology video.

        [–]clls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        how would you feel if an ex-girlfriend (that you broke up with for legitimate reasons) makes a website for you in order to win you back?

        [–]R3dTim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It's the Garbage Man Test in a different form, nothing more. Girl's want guys to do exactly what "Sad Sack Sam" did, grovel, beg, plead, flog himself, but because he's "Sad Sack Sam" (read: Garbage Man), he's a piece of shit low life that they'll laugh at. If he was a hot guy, they might be able to hamster away his otherwise sappy website, but Sad Sack Sam / Trash Man? Fuck that loser.

        [–]feelinglazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Da fuck is wrong with these jebezel bitches?

        [–]UrRealDad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        The very last line of the article is an "update", in which the author claims to have done some "facebook sleuthing" and determined that the target of this "creepy" website did in fact take "Sad Sack Sam" back.

        Interesting twist.

        [–]rockumsockumrobots 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        jessica coen


        How to spot a divisive feminist? The nose knows. ; ^ )

        [–]getfuckingreal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is great that women are making websites like this. For too long some guys ask other women on dating advice when they don't know what they want, let alone another woman. Somehow the idea got started that women like romantic gestures and men (and women) got sucked into believing it was true. The best way to understand women is experience, the second best way is from a guy that does have experience. Women will always be a little crazy, if you act like they aren't your gonna be a sucker like this poor sap. Finally women like this author are pulling the veil off for many stubborn men. Don't blame women because you think overly romantic gestures are effective, I don't recall a GF or date ever telling me she wanted extravagant gestures.

        [–]ThousandTruths 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        What a tosser. I bet she is getting barebacked by some macho biker or a drug dealer right now.

        [–]LuvBeer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is fucking hilarious...thanks

        [–]elchoma90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        All I get bitches are stolen roses (Single rose. Always) from someone's front yard (I make up an obviously absurd story of how hard it was to get such unique rose) and rice krispies. Bitches love rice krispies. So many women have asked me "what are you getting that special someone this valentine's?" And when I tell them a stolen rose and a rice krispies they all call me cheap and unromantic and demand I at least take my date to a fancy restaurant. I laugh at their faces and tell them they all love it and someday I might get her a rose and a rice krispies so she knows how it feels. Tingles follow. Women are amusing.

        [–]BaconBeard -1 points0 points  (2 children)

        Late to the party here but hoping to get a few responses from you guys. I have been subscribed to TRP for quite some time now, and a lot of info I get here I find useful, but most of the time, this sub comes across as hateful. I mean, like a general hatred or disdain for women. Why is this?

        [–]TheSKSpecial 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Some guys are angry when they get here, simply put. They might have been lied to and/or cheated on, or just felt overall duped and disgusted because before they came here they had placed women on a pedestal and been taught and told that women could do no wrong. Then they come here and see that women have the capability to be really, really shitty to men at times. It's not a pleasant feeling knowing you've been lied to and misdirected.

        This is one of the few places they can be unfiltered and really say what's on their minds. In time, they start working on self-improvement and work past the anger phase. You've got 78 thousand people here, not everyone is gonna be nice.

        [–]AndrewAtrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        this sub comes across as hateful. I mean, like a general hatred or disdain for women

        We're the hateful ones? It's almost like you didn't read the article.

        [–]Kardlonoc -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        "I love you."

        Three words. All you need. You can go maybe one or two sentences over but if you start writing papers and making websites professing your are going to come off needy and a bit crazy.

        Women like a curt man. They enjoy when talk in a straightforward matter and don't use too many words. Why? Because women are the exact opposite. Subtley, social talking and conversing are generally specialties most women have.