I was just about as beta as they come.
I always thought it was my mission in life to find a girl, get married, have kids, and work myself to the bone to support them - and I was OK with this idea. So I met my girl, got married a year and half later, and got her pregnant almost immediately after that. During the pregnancy and after, I provided for everything. At this point, I am sure you know where this is going.
The first thing my wife did was completely let herself go. She already has me trapped, why should she bother losing the massive amount of baby fat she gained? Why should she try to look nice for her beta husband that will just roll over if any conflict is sensed?
Skip a few more years into the future, with a steadily declining situation. I am not happy, because she is not happy. She does not have "enough going on" in her life (and yet somehow, the house isn't cleaned and I have to take care of our kid as soon as I get home from an exhausting day... and of course the channel buttons on the remote are nearly worn off). Her answer of course, is to have another kid. I didn't sense the destruction coming my way, and did the deed. After all, I wanted kids.
Less than a year later, it hit. She was acting strange. I would find her in the closet talking on the phone, with the door closed. The excuse was "I am talking to my Grandmother while putting clothes away." (Well why do you have the door closed?!?) This happened a few times. Then she wanted to take a trip to a nearby state, where she grew up. One of the first things she said was that I did not have to come if I didn't want to - and she knew I wouldn't, she knew I did not like the place she wanted to go.
I paid for her trip. We had a little extra in the bank at the time, due to having just done taxes. She said she needed it all, to pay off a legitimate dental bill for her I was also paying for. And this is what saved me - I asked her to make sure to get a receipt for next tax season.
She went, she came back. I asked for the receipt - she didn't have it. The argument eventually devolved into her admitting she had taken the money, and I couldn't have it back. She had gone to see a recently released ex-felon (the person she had been talking to on the phone). He was her first love, her first sex, etc. She told me she was in love with him... after talking to him for a few weeks on the phone and seeing him once. I told her to get out, go stay with her sister not 10 minutes away from my house. The next day, I turned over like a good little dog.
I believed the right thing to do was to "fix" this. I offered to go into marriage counseling. The only thing I required of her was that she stop talking to this guy and never see him again. That very night she left to go see him again. After all, the money she had essentially stolen paid for lots of what was a 7 hour trip to him.
So I told her to go stay with her sister. Pack up her stuff and leave, we were getting a divorce. I had no idea what was in store for me.
She was gone for a few days. When she came back, we talked about having the easiest divorce we could, the least costly, no lawyers involved, etc. I didn't see the vengeance in her eyes. She could not allow me to get divorced from her without making it as painful and costly for me as she could.
The day after that the police showed up. I was being served a temporary restraining order. How could this be? I never touched her, never even threatened her. This is how much favor a woman has with the court. She managed to get that restraining order based on two things: that I had cut her off from my bank account (that she had already emptied anyways), and my father had removed her from our family cell phone plan.
I was summarily kicked out of my house. I feel that I need to mention here, I solely and separately owned that house. It was the only smart move I made in a hurricane of bad ones. But that did not matter to the police or court, that was my children's home, and since I did not have a place to stay, was believed to be incapable of caring for them. So my wife got to stay in my house, taking care of my kids, while I couch surfed for a month. I was not allowed to see my kids either.
Due to my situation, having even a temporary restraining order on my record could make me lose my job. This was not to be a relatively easy divorce after all. I had to hire a lawyer. In the end, it cost me over $20k for the lawyer alone. The lawyer did an excellent job defending me, and convincing my lawyer-less wife into some deals less than what she could have taken. Thank goodness for that sole and separate agreement on the house. She took almost everything in there that wasn't bolted down, but I kept the house. I had to pay out a portion of my 401K, had to give her one of my cars, but this is small fish in comparison to what could have been.
Men: never, ever be in a situation where you are the sole provider in a marriage. Alimony is a disgusting thing. It is VERY expensive, not considering child support and day care expenses as well. I am paying over $2k a month, and yes... that is half of my income. I have 8 months left of alimony to pay, but it has been a very trying road of working as hard as I can with absolutely nothing to show for it.
A year goes by. I have my kids half the time. I hear the horror stories from the older one. She does not care for them, she does not give them any attention, and her new boyfriend is a complete prick to them. I find out from my kid's school that she missed an entire month straight. I capture as much evidence as I can. My 7 year old knows what pot is, the absences, etc. And I take her back to court.
Gentlemen, you will never find justice in the courts. They are against us 100%. I provided my evidence to them, said I wanted my children Monday through Friday, so that I could care for them and make sure they got to school. I also told them that I wanted her to stop sending my children to her ex-felon sister for babysitting. This is the same sister that would often drop her kid off on us, because she didn't want to take care of it and wanted to party.
The last is the only part I got. My evidence was waved away without a second thought. SHE would get the children Monday through Friday. After all, when they asked her if she would ever let the kids miss that much school again, she said no, and we can trust her right? I asked repeatedly why she was being given a second chance, when I was not allowed a first. I was told, "don't you WANT the kids on the weekend? Then you get to have all the fun!". What a joke. No, I want to make sure my children are raised properly into adults, instead of a copy of their mother. Alas, what I wanted did not matter in the slightest, and this is what I was given. She would have to take them to a real daycare at least. In most cases, this would be 50/50. But I am paying more like 75% - they plopped an average cost on me, and she takes them to the cheapest place she can find.
Daycare expenses are a joke. All of their daycare is on her time (after all, these kids are just money bags to her, she doesn't actually want them) - isn't this what child support is for? Nope. Child support is just more money in the bank for her. Perish the thought it would be spent on the kids themselves.
She sees the end of alimony coming folks. Can anyone guess here what her next action was? You probably guessed it - she is trying to get me back. Who would want an overweight woman with two kids that's not even trying after all? My phone gets inundated about how she will "make it all up to me" and how she never appreciated how hard I worked, getting a degree at the same time. How good of a father I am. It simply disgusts me now.
A good friend of mine turned me towards The Red Pill. I have read through the sidebar, and have lurked through the posts. It pains me to see what we all go through. I have learned a lot since and do my best to incorporate it into my life - I am still learning. So I decided to share my story as a thank you to everyone here. And give you a warning:
Do not make the same mistakes I did
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