all 101 comments

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger 138 points139 points  (19 children)

The minor point people won't point out as readily, bit is actually very important for maintaining a long term plate, was the fact that this guy took the girl to breakfast in the end. After sex.

Rewarding good behavior with comfort is just as important as holding frame against the shitty behavior. At least for anything beyond a one-nighter.

If the hero of this story had fucked her silly, then demanded she get out to continue punishing her for the shit test, she wouldn't still be a plate after 2 years.

[–]Haptic_Affinity 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Very good point. Long term shit requires comfort in moderation.

[–]Ronin11A 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Exactly, so long as it's on YOUR terms, not hers.

[–]Burner1701 2 points3 points  (5 children)

It sounds like she paid for breakfast.

[–]rpscrote 36 points37 points  (0 children)

not relevant. The man's attention and time is the comfort and the reward, not paying for the breakfast.

[–]Mr_Andry 3 points4 points  (3 children)

That's the part I have a hard time believing will ever happen for me.

[–]sunwukong15 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Really? Even when I was a total beta I could get a girl to pay the bill for a meal.

You might need to look at what else you offer besides money.

[–]magicalbird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even betas that have good conversation skills can give validation in return for a free meal. It isn't ideal since it isn't sexual but it can happen.

[–]loin_fruit 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Probably said this a shit ton of times now but, I did this exact thing with a plate who had a boyfriend. We would get done and I would reward her for it in some way or if she ever did anything nice or went out of her way, I made sure she knew I took notice.

I fucked her for two years and got her to do stuff her boyfriend never got her to do. Get head and finger her in the movie theatre, swallow my cum, fuck her any way I wanted to etc etc.

Even after these two years with her boyfriend they got engaged. I fucked her up until she got married. Literally 3 days until she was married. The night before she asked me how I was and talked to me. Pretty fucked up.

After being married we hung out a couple times. This is where i realized how right you guys were with the whole "freeze out with LMR". When she said she just couldnt do it, i laid down and acted calm and in her exact words she said, "ugh are you just trying to turn me on by not being bothered?"

Theres more to the story, but we didnt fuck. I realized it wasn't worth the trouble.

Tldr: afbb is real and to keep a plate for awhile you have to put them on a rollercoaster ride of emotion, where you are fucking them but also reward them with just enough crumbs for them to nibble on just enough to keep coming back for more.

[–]MoneyStatusLooks 4 points5 points  (7 children)

Do you not feel guilty fucking women who are in LTRs? I would have no respect for her, her character as a human is terrible and I dont care how good the sex was, I wouldn't want to spend my time with a toxic human like that.

[–]loin_fruit 0 points1 point  (6 children)

The guilt is to be felt by her. I didn't cheat. I'm only fucking someone that was taken. Yeah I'm provoking bad actions. But like it's said a shit ton of times here, if not me, then someone else would have fucked her.

Not only was it fun but it opened up my eyes to the red pill world before I even was a member here. So yes it was a good idea and I never regret doing what I did.

[–]MoneyStatusLooks 4 points5 points  (5 children)

You need higher standards man. I would not touch a women of such low character. You are validating her behaviour, I guess its over now but I would not get invovled with women like that. I think you have realised that now.

You ever heard the expression, you are the sum of the people you hang around with most. If you are juggling 5 plates who are fucking no for good cheating whores then you will pick up their energy.

Women of good character exist. Women who are sexy and of good character also exist (somewhat rare), sure they are all hypergamous etc, but there are many MANY women who meet the moral standard of not fucking around whilst they are in a LTR. This bitch is so solopsistic that she thinks this behaviour is okay and justified, which means shes toxic.

And by blame shifting and not taking any accountability... saying "I didnt cheat. I'm only fucking someone that was taken", you are being as solopsitic as her.

No one likes being critisized, so i expect a backlash. But as a man, you need to be accountable to the shit you put out there. Saying "if I dont bang her someone else will" is just a cop out too, and i think you know that deep down.

[–]loin_fruit 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I totally agree with you man. This post is very enlightening and informative. I can definitely see where you're coming from.

I can agree with the saying "you are the average of the 5 closest friends" but I can't imagine I would be any different of a person by the girls I fuck. I'm not around them enough for them to change my character or make me a different person. With friends however, definitely true.

This girl was fun and now that's it over, yeah I realize she wasn't a great person. However it did show me what AfBB is all about. I will have trust issues now. But it made me realize exactly what I did wrong in past relationship and what I have to do differently.

I don't think I could fuck a girl who has a boyfriend or married intentionally anymore. Its not worth the risk of being killed. Pussy is just pussy. Its all over. Why risk your life for it?

I'm glad you replied with what you said and I look at it as very useful.

[–]MoneyStatusLooks -1 points0 points  (3 children)

I know I might come across a bit NAWLT, but there are women out there who have some level of accountability and understanding of morality/what is right or wrong and therefore won't cheat.

I have found most women feel guilty about cheating, so if they see a higher value mate who wants to be with them, they will just transition from one relationship to another, dumping one guy for the next. They often have the next guy lined up and ready to go, dump the poor beta and transition. Very Machiavellian.

Otherwise, women mainly cheat to end a relationship. I've seen that a few times, they don't have the balls to put a nice guy out of his misery so they cheat on him, then use it as an excuse to break up. My LTR now did this with her beta ex, she cheated on him and then told him/dumped him and was single/dated for a while after that before finding me.

The other type of women was the type you talked about, the ones comfortable being in a LTR whilst cheating at the same time and I think these are the worst moral calibur of all of them.

[–]loin_fruit 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I can agree with this. But the confusing thing is, is that she didn't want to date me. Told me I wasn't relationship material. Which I took as a compliment.

The thing I don't get is why she would have sex with me 3 days before the wedding even though it was clear she wasn't going to branch swing.

Is it because she wanted to get the fun out while she still could? Did she deep down actually want me to save her from him? Or did she have no idea why she kept coming back to me and against her better judgement she just couldn't help but keep coming back to me over and over again?

I'm interested in why you would ltr the girl who cheated. That's a bit strange to me.

[–]MoneyStatusLooks 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Because I've seen her ex. Total beta pussy sorry excuse for a man. I would want to cheat if I was a woman with that sack of shit. LOL.

She knew she could have done better, but didnt have the balls to end it for no reason because he was a 'nice guy'.

[–]loin_fruit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm but I beg the question as to why she couldn't have had the common courtesy to leave the dude instead of giving him hope and then branch swinging to you. What about the saying once a cheater always a cheater? How do you know she wouldn't do it to you?

This among many other reasons as to why I never decided to take the girl away from her boyfriend. I just don't think a cheater is worthy of putting into a ltr.

[–]MUTHAFATHAGENTLEMAN[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it's very important.

I'm mildly into BDSM and after care is extremely important. It took a mix of courage and fear for her to come back up to my apartment, I need to condition her to understand that I reward good behavior just as I punish the bad.

I like to reward good behavior even more than I will punish the bad.

[–]1tombreck2 278 points279 points  (32 children)

This is why you never listen to advice from betas/women. "You should have gone to breakfast with her and then she would have wanted to have sex"

TRPers know better. Good post.

[–]MUTHAFATHAGENTLEMAN[S] 164 points165 points  (28 children)

I'm starting to draw parallels between my father in the 90s, stopping in the grocery store, looking me in the face and saying, "We're not getting you any candy. You can stop crying or we can go home right now."

I didn't stop crying.

We immediately went home.

I didn't pull that shit again.

[–]laplayaplaya 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You made me remember something very similar...

When I was pretty young, maybe 5 or 6 my Dad told me the same thing in a very calm collected manner. I think I wanted a toy or something and started getting upset when denied to which he responded to the effect of "Either start behaving or we go home now." I keep throwing a tantrum so he put me in the car and drove home. Keep in mind that we lived over an hour from town and had a fun day planned ahead.

How many times do you think I tried that trick again in the future?

Answer: Never

[–][deleted]  (17 children)


    [–]cryptonoob123 11 points12 points  (11 children)

    any recommendation for parenting books? thanks in advance!

    [–]penhova 43 points44 points  (9 children)

    read any book that teach you how to train a dog, that also works

    [–]u-r-silly 29 points30 points  (8 children)

    I like how we went from women to dogs here...

    EDIT cause apparently i've been misuderstood: I didn't say that sarcastically. Giving advice on dating women and quickly going to dog training without carring about political correctness bullshit is what I like about TRP.

    [–]Mr_Andry 24 points25 points  (5 children)

    I heard that piece of advice years ago in the context of women training their husbands. This is why I will never feel guilt about treating women as animals.

    But the simple truth is that all humans are animals. You just have to decide if you're the pack alpha or beta.

    [–]ChoppinTheTarts 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    What RP teaches us is that they cannot help the things they do and we must act accordingly to that knowledge.

    You have the wrong mindset. RP isn't for taking "revenge" on women. I often see posts and comments that illustrate men who have been hurt and wish to hurt the other gender for the pain that was caused to them. This is not truly RP. Its simply their nature to act a certain way and so we must counteract it.

    TLDR You should feel bad. They are human beings regardless.

    [–]Mr_Andry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Who said anything about revenge? I'm just talking about when women get all offended when they hear about the techniques or attitudes that are taught in the manosphere. I've heard plenty of women talk such shit about guys. And I won't even deny they're wrong when they do. We're all a bunch of predictable animals. And keeping that in mind helps me understand people better.

    [–]TheThingsIThink -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    Strange, when I feel pissed I come here and get reminded to have low standards for my wife. She's a late 20s woman, but I have to treat her like some teenagers or a damn E-1 private.

    [–]ChoppinTheTarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Low standards is different from treating them like an animal. Women can be great it's all about knowing what to expect from them and how to control the relationship because they do not think or act like we do. Wether it be a plate, LTR or somewhere in between that is what RP is to me and I suspect the more developed RP community would agree.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    What is your specific problem with what that person said?

    That you don't like it? That it hurts your feelings?

    [–]u-r-silly -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Insecure about your TRP mindset? Feeling everyone is criticizing you for thinking like this?

    [–]Derzu_Uzala 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    "Between parent and child" Haim Ginot

    "Family and how to survive it" J Cleese (from M. Python) and R Skinner

    [–]ButterMyBiscuit 15 points16 points  (1 child)

    I don't think it's because they are like children, I think it'd because they act like children as a fatherhood fitness test. If you can keep them in line when they act like children, you'd also be a good father, and that makes them want to have kids with you (aka have sex).

    [–]justlurking420 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I think I'm going to go read a parenting book. This seems like great advice

    [–]NAmember81 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I was dating this girl once that was really really into me and when I met her father I was shocked and how eerily similar we were. He looked like an older version of myself and even had the same sense of humor and personality. Freud knew his shit.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What if her dad was a pushover and superbeta?

    [–]gqtrees 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    how old are you if you don't mind me asking? just want to know if this field report would apply for myself (i am 29).

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    Why wouldn't it? Back to the side bar, AWALT.

    [–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    People take AWALT too far. Her age can be very relevant.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I agree, people can take AWALT too far, but I don't think this is one of those times. In fact, I would take it even further and say all humans are like that. It's psychological conditioning. If you let other people know, men or women, your expectations for interaction with you, and you maintain frame, they will uphold those expectations or avoid interactions with you. Either way, you dictate the frame of people around you.

    [–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Part of the reason i said this is because OP's story doesn't sound right. The whole comeback thing is just a little farfetched.

    [–]LittleCrazee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Not sure that's the best example as most kids would be thrilled to get the hell out of the grocery store (every kid I know hates grocery shopping) but I get your point.

    [–]yeahweewee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    strong dad, all the spoiled kids today are a result of parents not enforcing their consequences, mess that up once and they lose all respect

    [–]user0159 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My dad did the same thing except instead of the grocery store we were on our way to my grandparents, which was actually a really fun place to go, for a weekend getaway, my sister and I are fighting and he gets off on the next exit on the interstate and turns around.

    [–]michaelknox3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's a concise way of putting it. And once you start in the trading y (commitment in the form of breakfast, time given up, whatever) for x (sex), the pattern is set and, subconsciously, she knows she's got you by the balls.

    I love Bill Burr's commentary on this situation. "Yea so you won't hook up for a couple of days, who cares. Rub one out, it's the champagne of victory":

    [–]SeekingTheWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Maybe the sex would come afterwards, but it would certainly not be as hot as it was and the aftermath would not be that affectionate as well.

    [–]browniesnake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What the fuck is wrong with you people?

    [–]BluepillProfessor 116 points117 points  (9 children)

    Still waiting for the field report where the woman denies sex and the man breaks frame, gives into her and does what she wants, and then she gets all wet and horny.

    Jeez, it's almost like a pattern or something.

    [–]Keida 34 points35 points  (6 children)

    No no, it'll happen promise. She wants you to do as she says and then you'll get what you want without even asking.

    -dons fedora-

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)


      [–]elvendude -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

      Hey, no reason to get homophobic. Plenty of alpha gay guys around.

      [–]TheRealFuckingJesus 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Bi guy here. There's difference between being a faggot and being partial to dick. A fag is a fag. Not all gays are fags, not all fags are gay.

      [–]down_with_whomever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Louis CK explains this pretty well

      [–]ametalshard -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

      Those that have come are deleted from trp, so you wouldn't see them anyway. Not saying they are right, but yeah.

      [–]BluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I don't think they have many posts like that on 2-X or Ask Hamsters either.

      [–]David35207 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      I love FRs like this because it really affirms the fundamentals of TRP. If you want something, don't settle for less.

      [–]evilquesadilla 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Yup, always make sure you get what you want, or you don't play. Nice guys may mistaken this for being a jerk, this is not. After you get what you want, then you give her what she wants -- then you're not being a jerk. If you laugh in her face and go haha! sucker! Then you're a jerk. But even if you were a jerk some women will come back for more anyway. This is why being nice for no reason (i.e. before you get what you want) is the worst option, period.

      My theory of this is very simple. Everything has a perceived value. If you give something away for free, then that thing will have the exact same value as you've just demonstrated... zero. So I'm not saying don't give anything away for free, but only do so If you treat it as free, and expect this act of giving will not be reciprocated.

      [–]alpha_i 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      Perfect example of holding frame. This shit works.

      [–]teeelo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I would also add: passing a shit test like a fucking boss.

      [–]singlehandedly 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      Similar situation happened. I wanted to have sex, she wanted to talk about us (ex gf of 3 years). I said, OK we won't have sex but we are not talking about that right now I'd rather study. Two minutes after im in the living room reading she comes in and says she's leaving, and "have a great night". I say OK thanks! Right here is where everything either would have gone great had I held frame but I didnt. She called me twice, on the third call I picked up. She wanted to know why i used her for sex, at first I said nothing, holding frame. Then, she kept insisting it would be okay if I did just want sex. Didn't say anything, and hung up. Calls me back another two times asks why did we have sex and hangout if you want nothing to do with me? This is where I fucked up. I said, "if you were me, you'd want nothing to do with you too" and she replies '' Oh so you want nothing to do with me? Now im even more hurt, and hangs up. My beta (currently in rehab) tendencies made me feel like a douchebag, but then I realized that I HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG and she kept calling to rationalize to the hamster why she was leaving when I did nothing wrong. HOLD FRAME GENTLEMEN. Havent talked to her since and am 100% commited to nexting it hard.

      [–]abcd_z 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      For future reference, if you're ever in a situation like that again where a woman walks out or you have to kick her out, maintain radio silence for a week, minimum. Any less and she won't feel the loss of your attention.

      [–]singlehandedly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Thanks! Still haven't talked to her, and do not plan to at all.

      [–]Jamisbike 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Oh, that reminds me of a story: I met this chick at a catering gig I got but we actually texted each other before because my coordinator gave me her number for me to ask her for a ride. She asked for gas money and I decided to take the buss instead, but she felt guilty and proposed to give me a ride for free which I denied and she felt worse. After we met, she gave me a ride home, and the next day I text her to ask of i can use her computer. I come over, we hang for about 4 hours, she takes a shower and starts watching me leave. She asks for me to stay, I sit down on the chair and she is just smiling and feeling awkward. I drag her on my lap and we start making out. After a few minutes I take her to her bedroom and try to escalate, but she is suddenly passive and evasive. I ask what's the problem and she says that it's too fast for her and she wants just to cuddle for now. I said "then you need to buy a teddy bear for this" to which she replies "you're mean.." And I leave. The next morning she calls me and says she feels stupid and I should come over. I came after a few hours and had the most awkward sex in my life...

      [–]sway_usa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It's all part of the experience, my friend. TRP gives you stories you can't even make up. I'll write about my experiences one day.

      [–]champbacon 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      *gasp, how dare you emotionally manipulate this poor girl, clearly she didn't have the mental capacity to reject your 'abusive' tactics. For shame TRP ;)

      [–]SweatingOutThePoison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Isn't this the type of shit the mod post was about?

      [–]31648905 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      Drew a line yesterday that I wouldn't be in a sexless relationship. She just left 2 minutes ago because she didn't want to have sex, didn't try to stop her and told her to have a good day. We'll see if she comes back or not, but thank you anyway OP.

      [–]antariusz 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Replying so that I can see when you update: but seeing that you posted this 7 hours ago, I hope that she came back 15 minutes after your post and you've been having marathon sex ever since.

      Followed the exact scenario of the OP last month with a plate. Long story made short: I wanted sex "now" at my place she said "later" at her place. We had just spent the entire day before meeting her parents and hadn't had sex in 2 days. I said, ok, bye. She stormed in and out of my house 3 times back and forth to her car in my driveway, incredulous. I held frame and even started texting another girl while she was yelling at me after the 3rd time since I was getting tired of her shit and I wanted to get laid that day. She then drove off... She was back within 5 minutes. We fucked BOTH now AND later. The "now" she was practically raping me she was so turned on by my ability to hold frame.

      [–]31648905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It didn't happen, but I got drunk with some friends so it was a fun night anyway.

      She's currently freaking out about me "just wanting sex" and has been saying "its not working out, were done" on repeat for the last 3 hours. I just keep saying "if we're done, why keep texting me?" I don't think I have the oneitis, but is there some kind of "pussy-itis" where the pussy is just so easy you'll put a minimal effort foreward just to keep it within arms reach?

      [–]TheRealMouseRat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      And here you're not even being an asshole. You wanted something, she wanted something. You stated she would get what she wanted if you got what you wanted. You gave her the choice, and she chose.

      [–]michaelknox3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Nice anecdote. Showing girls that you will not be negotiating with them to have sex, that it will only be had if it comes from true desire, is one of the most important things you can learn to be sexually satisfied. This is even truer in an LTR.

      Personally, I find that denying most girls sex, for any reason at all, will get their hamster running pretty quickly.

      [–]DJCDee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What would be the line between holding grounds and being childish? Genuinely curious. An example would be nice.

      [–]bkmnalpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      if you same something like this to a beta he will never understand why you do...he will just tell you , you are mean

      but if you truly live by TRP , you will start seeing that what was done in the story is the ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO

      [–]logically_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      The kids comparison is a good one. Want to know when my kids tell me they love me and really mean it? After I've put them in their place - showed them I won't be swayed by their tantrums and outbursts, that bad behavior is not tolerated. They feel comforted knowing that there is a very clear line between what is OK to do and what is not OK to do. They can just be kids and let Daddy worry about the bigger things. They can always count on Daddy to straighten them out if they get out of line. I don't treat them like equals because if I did they would be running rampant all over the house. I know what's best for them and that's what I do. I never ask them for advice on what to do regarding their behavior.

      All that same stuff holds true for my LTR. I don't ask her how to treat her. She wouldn't know anyway and whatever advice she gave would most likely be bad. She gets wet because she knows she has a man to depend on. I don't blur the lines between us. We have different needs. She's emotional; I'm a rock. She feels comfort from my guidance, security, and quiet strength; I feel comfort from her when she cooks and cleans for me, defers to my judgment on an issue, and when she is just generally being accomodating. It's a good and time-proven system that works and makes everyone happy.

      Women secretly want a strong man to put them in their place. The same way they secretly want rough sex where they submit fully to a man's desires. Women will admit both of these things if you ask them the right way. The best way to come to this realization is by treating them in this way and noting their behavior. Long story short, TRP works, just like good parenting works.

      [–]Burner1701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Is your LTR the mother of your children, or is this relationship advice coming from someone whose marriage busted up?

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]teeelo 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        There is a sticky on the front page of our sub that I would encourage you to read.