all 163 comments

[–]newlifeasredpill 155 points156 points  (16 children)

This is an excellent post. Many years ago I made the mistake of turning a hooters waitress/ex stripper plate into a live in GF. The shit tests were next level and I drowned. She cheated. She lost all respect for me. I stupidly went from treating her as fuck toy to my mommy.

She moved out and tried to make me her back up plan but even then I knew enough to cut all ties to regain my self respect.

Predictably she kept in touch. I would take calls but that's it. Never reached out on my own. As my career progressed she became very interested in "trying again".

I let her blow me a few times pretending to "consider it". Never actually told her no.

She still checks in from time to time and from what I see on Facebook she aged like shit. Bleached blonde. Bad skin from too much Sun. Way too thin for 40.

Gents...don't be afraid to say no to the really hot sluts whose pussy taste like cherry cotton candy. If she mistreats you now because she has the attention of a few guys at a bar....you have no idea how bad she will treat you when she has half your assets and access to your kids as a weapon.

[–]MisterTrucker 33 points34 points  (3 children)

Well said. I always say a woman will make you or break you. A bad bitch will make an idiot out of you. A good woman will make you the envy of others.

[–]ColdEiric 6 points7 points  (2 children)

A good woman will make you the envy of others.

Does the good woman share any similarities with this one?

Proverbs 31:10-31 New International Version

[–]HedRotPiliCeppers 10 points11 points  (1 child)

NIV: "A wife of noble character who can find?"

King James: "Who can find a virtuous woman?"

read: 'Unicorns don't exist'

The bible does not bullshit when it comes to women.

[–]rockymountainoysters 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Definitely. From Ecclesiastes 7:

26 I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare.

27 “Look,” says the Teacher, this is what I have discovered:

“Adding one thing to another to discover the scheme of things—

28 while I was still searching but not finding— I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all.

[–]magicalbird 5 points6 points  (4 children)

The funny part is that average girls do the same thing now. Welcome to the sexual marketplace in the states.

The best thing a man can do is build into a crazy high SMV and next most girls that aren't relationship material.

[–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I have found that with most women in the 7-8 range, shit testing winds down after it becomes clear that I am of equal or greater SMV.

They will always throw the occasional softball because in their hearts, most women LOVE for dudes to crush shit tests. This premise is basically the subject of my next post. 9/10 women want you to smash shit tests because they want to fuck an alpha, and they get all hot when an alpha does alpha shit.

I would not consider an LTR with any women less than a hard 7, so I don't eval most women for relationship material characteristics. It is a foregone conclusion that unless you look a certain way, LTR just isn't even a possibility. Above the soft 7 range, I start to keep an eye out for positive qualities, but usually after the second major red flag I will consciously decide that she will never be more than a plate. Then I will spin her, be good to her, have a good time with her, but ultimately she is a pastime rather than an investment.

The trouble with this one is that she had so many fucking green flags and was HOT AS FUCK. My usual ability to remain internally cold and analytical got all screwed up by her ass and tits and cool family and penchant for killing and cleaning large animals. No lie, I was in a very stressful situation and did not have the ability to make rational decisions. So I bailed. Maybe she will come back sniffing around. Maybe not. The important thing is that I kept my dignity (in my own estimation anyway) and did not allow myself to be beta'ed as far as she knows.

edit: through=throw

[–]Split2nd 4 points5 points  (2 children)

You a cool dude Summertime. Your posts are always insightful. Rooting for you playa we're all in this together just trying to make it thru wout women royally fcking and taking a shit on our lives.

Way to eject. Sometimes the mind, like muscle, must experience failure in order to grow. This is all part of the process of chiseling are mf'n brains as well as our bodies. Keep pushing on.

[–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Thanks, bro. Just trying to contribute. My life got a lot better after taking the red pill. If someone can learn from my mistakes, that pays it forward.

pulling for you too, brah. stay up

[–]newlifeasredpill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you definitely escaped alot of the pain I shared in my story by abandoning ship way earlier than I did

[–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Great follow up bro. Glad you managed to get out of there. I am very fortunate to have learned about women's evil machinations before I fucked up by getting married. Women age like milk.

[–]HeinousFu_kery 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Been there done that - here's the challenge for everyone: Can you turn this hindsight into foresight?

With experience your radar gets better and better if you want it to - next time, you'll know what she's about beforehand rather than after and this will help you choose between HB9/asshole-crazy and HB9/worth waking up to.

[–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, yes. I am still going to approach every 9 I see. However, I will hold off investing any real interest pending a thorough vetting.

She was my first 9. I made some errors based on inexperience. That will happen.

[–]1 MMachiavellianRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Gents...don't be afraid to say no to the really hot sluts whose pussy taste like cherry cotton candy. If she mistreats you now because she has the attention of a few guys at a bar....you have no idea how bad she will treat you when she has half your assets and access to your kids as a weapon."

Hit the nail on the head. ♂

[–]foldpak111 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Predictably she kept in touch. I would take calls but that's it. Never reached out on my own. As my career progressed she became very interested in "trying again".

I would've laughed so fuckin hard in her face. I got options sweety

[–]newlifeasredpill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't laugh at her because I was fucking scared of her.

In an effort to 'get back at me' she started partying with one of my best clients!

Looking back in time through the RP lens I can see that my ignoring her escapades with this guy must have made her think I was more alpha than I really was at the time. I only ignored this to not fuck up the relationship with a client who was top of my book of business,

I could post a dozen stories about this girl. bisexual. daddy issues. fucked her plastic surgeon for tits, fucked professors

[–]Olipyr 68 points69 points  (1 child)

Damn, I needed to hear this....More than I realized.

Thank you.

[–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Don't eat shit for some broad. Don't eat shit for anybody.

[–]FedaykinII 25 points26 points  (10 children)

Good story. You write well.

Could you give some examples of the Shit Tests?

[–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 33 points34 points  (8 children)

Thanks brother. she wanted to know if I hunted, what I hunted, and what I killed. She wanted to know what sports I played in college, and if I was good. she would vanish for days at a time, to see if I would text her wondering where she was or why hadn't heard from her. All of this was posturing to see if I would be willing to qualify myself to her, or to position me such that I needed her or wanted her more than she needed me or wanted me. I would say in a given interaction, at least half of that time was spent shit testing me. It was fucking exhausting and quite frankly I'm glad it's over

[–]GettinBusyLiving 9 points10 points  (6 children)

How can you tell if its a shit test or if she is just genuinely interested in if you share the same hobbies like hunting? And how did you respond to those?

[–]King_of_Demons 3 points4 points  (0 children)

how long did she keep that shit up? Sounds like you knew her for awhile

[–]CockFlavour 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would also like to hear stories of her next-level shittests.

[–][deleted]  (22 children)

[deleted]

    [–]bakbakgoesherthroat 25 points26 points  (9 children)

    Ironic isn't it? By rejecting this girl OP ended up endearing himself to her

    [–][deleted]  (6 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 47 points48 points  (5 children)

      5 beta boys looking at her like she had a halo, and she was just basking in all that attention and validation dude. I wasn't even mad, just sad for them. But all of them had the look and feel of white knights, so I was not going to get roped into some kind of her bullshit at the bar with an audience primed and ready to put me in the hospital for being mean to such a pretty lady.

      [–]love2fap 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      i thoroughly enjoyed your post. keep it up. if the tang was that good, i probably would have kept her as a plate at most. but at the end of the day, you did what you thought was the best option for you. kudos.

      [–]foldpak111 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Lol faggots. That's why you say nothing and just cut contact. A horde of beta males will always trump a single alpha.

      [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

      Thanks Dude, I have been wondering about this. The last relatively hot girl I rejected is now an awesome plate and treats me very well. She knows I will cut her loose in an instant, and so she has corrected all of the errant behavior that drove me to ditch her in the first place. Hot chicks really respond to discipline I think, or stone cold IDGAF type behavior. We will see what the future brings with this chick.

      The lag time between telling her "lose my number" and then randomly messaging her "hey come to my hotel" late one night was about a month. That seem right?

      [–]HS-Thompson 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Hot chicks really respond to discipline I think, or stone cold IDGAF type behavior.

      Absolutely. This is the absolute cornerstone of fucking model/actress/super-hot type women. And they will shit test you harder than anything you have ever experienced.

      With that said, if you go through the steps to get there, you can find yourself pretty easily in a place where they are totally and completely submissive and loyal to you.

      [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 15 points16 points  (11 children)

      Thanks, chief. I booted her out I guess about 16 days back. Not last Saturday but the one before. Finally getting around to doing an FR because I have been processing what I did right and could have done better before posting.

      If I got a do over, I would have rejected her, but done so differently specifically so that I could smash in a few months.

      It was liberating as hell to tell a piece of ass that hot to GTFO and lose my number.

      [–]ilphae 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      It was liberating as hell to tell a piece of ass that hot to GTFO and lose my number.

      This is how real men (and real women) are created. You have climbed the mountain and will never ever lose that until the day you die. You will recognize this power in others who have done the same. Welcome brother.

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 7 points8 points  (8 children)

        Not crazy at all, unfortunately. She gave up pretty quick, but I texted her "You aren't worth my time, which means you are wasting yours. Please lose my contact info." I think that was probably a bad play, and maybe a bridge burner.

        [–]aww40 24 points25 points  (0 children)

        If it's a bridge that leads to a shithole, it's worth burning.

        [–]Soultrane9 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        It wasn't. It was the best play. You are forcing discipline on yourself. Pussy was leading your life in every aspect probably. That's not a sign of self-respect.

        Lay some random college girl instead. That level of drama will be present even if you downgrade her, it's just not worth.

        [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Already did! and it was some good medicine. She was a 6, but worshipped me. It was a much less stressful experience, and equally enjoyable since it was dark.

        when the candles are out, all ladies are fair, brah. I think Rudyard Kipling said that.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]King_of_Demons 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          right? I bet he is the first guy in a while to put her down like that

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            I can't help it if I'm clever as fuck. I wasn't going to dumb it down to appear flippant, when I truly did not give a shit at that point

            [–]HatchbacksandTattoos 16 points17 points  (12 children)

            Great post, I am going through this right now freshly out of monk mode with the hottest girl I've ever been with. I have seen no red flags so far (after 2 weeks), but feel these beta tendencies creeping back up again. It's posts like these that keep me level and remind me where I came from.

            Edit: just wanted to add that when I read a comment from a post earlier today from /u/IllimitableMan about how great monk mode can be, it can help cope with the anxiety of ONEitis and trying to get past it

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

            I hope it works out. However, 99 times out of 100 if there are not any red flags it just means you aren't looking hard enough. Thanks for the comment bro be careful

            [–]TannhauserOverture 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            Dude! A superhot girl with ONE previous partner who not only enjoys but activly requests anal?

            You're right to think she must be a unicorn :)

            Unicorns. do. not. exist. They are not found, they are not made, they simply do not exist.

            Good story!

            [–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 5 points6 points  (6 children)

            Getting some uglier chicks to orbit you (friend zone 'em) will make your girl jealous and let you retain full plausible deniability. You always need a bit of soft dread with bombshells, you also need reminders you have options and to get out of the scarcity mindset "I don't believe I've got such a hot girl now!" etc.

            [–]DreamBoatGuy25 7 points8 points  (2 children)

            Yeah, that would've been my only suggestion. He should've been using dread game on her from the start so she understood this behavior was unacceptable. If a girl is still flinging you constant shit tests than she doesn't respect you enough. I mean that's what shit tests are really, just female dread game. When I get into a new relationship with a really attractive girl that's had her ego polished for years by everyone around her I almost immediately unload such massive amounts of dread game that after a while she's so small, that she's just begging me to stop. At that point they are in no frame of mind to give you shit tests.

            [–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            Truer words never said. I wish I had more than one upvote to give you dude. I would give you a delta point thing but it never works for my name. Probably due to my custom flair text.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Damn dude, excellent wisdom. where were you a few weeks ago?! I could have used this very pointed advice. Thanks for the comment.

            [–]magicalbird 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Abundance fixes all oneitis issues.

            [–]ColdEiric 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Getting some uglier chicks to orbit you (friend zone 'em)

            It's easy once one starts being kind, charming and generally virtuous towards everyone. If the girl isn't someone's girl, then she is grateful for that chitchat which men can't or won't talk with them every now and then. Do it in front of everyone, and soon they'll be wishing to be asked. In front of everyone else.

            [–]Danedina 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            My problem with monk mode is that I end up spending all my money on whores.

            [–]HatchbacksandTattoos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I see what you mean and I agree, it just beats the anxiety of ONEitis in my opinion

            [–]bleh321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            red flags

            There are always red flags in any woman aka "no unicorn exists".

            What is extremely important in an LTR is how you manage the red flag.

            You need to express your boundaries on respect. I have all my girls know that the number 1 thing that sits with me is RESPECT.

            When she fucks up, withdraw your attention from her - if she apologizes, make sure she has learnt her lesson. If she is insistent that her actions were right then 'next' her.

            [–]2asd1100 15 points16 points  (0 children)

            Loves anal - never go exclusive. That means there was a bigger badder brute in her life any you are playing second fiddle. A gilr should want to do anal for you, she should get pleasure because you get pleasure.

            Unicorns are not made, they are trained. You need something with potential first, good control and then talent. Thinking that a good girl will suffice is whishfull thinking, and it really shouldn't be encourage in this sub.

            The shit tests wheren't hard because she is hot, but because she is smart and she had better. Her looks just made it harder. My brain frezes when I talk to a 10 and I have no problems with 9s, it's ridiculous, it's like my brain knows I'm out of my league.

            From the interaction in the club I would venture a guess and say that you wheren't her captain. You where just a good deal going, so you didn't loose anything, because at least at that point you didn't have her.

            The break was ugly, unegesaraly painful but I get why you had to do it. You where in it really deep. It's good that you managed to get out.

            [–]colombia40 3 points4 points  (2 children)

            I've had something similar happen but I called her out on it and it ended in her telling me, "please don't talk to me again"

            She wasn't going to take responsibility for her shitty actions and I've cut all contact.

            Would make a great plate though. Loves anal, hot polish girl

            [–]MagicGainbow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Jesus same boat, she acted so crazy I gave up and ended up asking her to stop contacting me...she would have made a great plate too....she also loved anal.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Dude, no lie chicks being into anal is such a fucking weakness of mine because of too many years watching dirty movies. It truly belongs in the red flag but I will never treat it as such. Glad you got out of that shit either way bro. Fuck her.

            [–]ColdEiric 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            FUCKING DESPISE people who play information games because it is a shitty power play that I am really susceptible too when it comes to my work. My job is super political.

            Thank you for this. I no longer lack the words to describe this play. It's information game, and I will not be played by it.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            For sure, bro. Don't let yourself get sucked into that shit. It is one of the few things that I will straight up kick somebody out of my life over. People who play those kinds are mind games are fucked in the head at some basic level, and should be avoided.

            [–]EurasianAesthetics 46 points47 points  (15 children)

            You didn't need to drop her completely. You had her at the point she was knocking on your door for an hour. Once you have them crawling in your direction you just keep feeding them a bit and you eventually control them. You had taught her a lesson and she was learning that. It's weird to jsut leave a woman alone outside like that. What you did sounds irrational and emotional and over the top and BS to me, like a beta trying to prove something to himself and his values, when there wasn't any need to. wtf dude, sometimes you gotta let go of the game and just enjoy the scene

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 69 points70 points  (11 children)

            Yup. It was dude. I addressed that to an extent. She fucked up my frame and I overreacted. Learning and improving as I go.

            [–]gentandscholar 20 points21 points  (1 child)

            OP, well fucking done for being able to take criticism, consider what could go better, and move on. You're going places for sure.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

            Thanks. That's what men do, we observe and learn and get better.

            [–]tlk6357 31 points32 points  (1 child)

            Impressive response to criticism. Well done op. Thanks for the great post!

            [–]IMaGrownAssMan 10 points11 points  (1 child)

            The thing is, I don't think you've seen the last of her. You're that one guy that brought her to that state.

            While other guys were kissing her ass and white knights stood at the ready to rescue you stood your ground like a boss. A rock.

            OP, in the end, it's about demonstrating the respect you have for yourself - you have a line that no man or woman should cross. She had done that in the bar.

            Rather than make a scene you just moved on. That's good! Also, you didn't give into the crying which I see as something short of a tantrum. I've raised three kids into adulthood and I know you don't pay attention to negative behavior. Once you do children learn through negative behavior they get what they want. What's the saying around TRP, treat women as you would children?

            OP, in my opinion, keep your ear to the ground my friend. In a few months time she'll send out a feeler to see how things are going. I've seen it before. If and when she does, your frame will be solid; your long shot gamble would've paid off. Until then continue valuing yourself, you're a man.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Thanks for the perspective, bro. I learned a lot from the experience and will handle differently next time. That said, I did not ever lose respect for myself. Only her. For me, that is a win. It could have been a bigger better win, but I will take the win.

            [–]JD42305 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            What did you overreact to? It seems like, if we're being honest here, your frame got shook when she was surrounded by all these guys at the bar and you didn't know how to handle it, so you went to the extreme. Or I don't know if it was even extreme. Your "red flags" to me don't seem like red flags but just people shit, besides maybe the abusive ex bf. I'd like to know a little about what you think you could have done better.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            I think I could have plated her after some tough discipline. I may have brought some other chick home from the bar and let her answer the door when HB9 showed up. Then rather than pack up HB9's shit, invite her in the next morning to get it herself and banged the shit out of her.

            Maybe plate her. Maybe not. I could have handled differently.

            [–]DarkCircle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I don't think what you did was at all bad. You could have done it for the wrong reasons, but a drunk, emotional, hurt, irrational woman is just dangerous to be around alone.

            [–]3rdtimesacharmm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Nope. You wanted her out. You absolutely did the correct thing. Now you're free to move on.

            [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            What is wrong with what he did? If you make a statement and then go back on it you are crumbling and rewarding her tantrum.

            [–]Bushranger00 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Preach brother. Great start to an article also, AWALT is my mantra. Adding to the age old fact that no matter how hot she is there is a guy out there who is entirely sick of her shit.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            thanks bro. you are 100% correct.

            [–]Grainslol 5 points6 points  (3 children)

            So here I am, like a good TRP man being mindful of all this chick’s flaws and telling myself that she is not a perfect angel. And my hormones and body chemistry are conspiring like – “yes she is a perfect angel and you should marry her. Look how pretty she is!”

            I got out of a relationship with a party girl. 22. Hot. Asian. Liked to be choked all of the time.

            You know what I got back? Sleep, lifting, hobbies, and abundance mindset. Sometimes mornings and just before going to sleep sucks for like a minute and then I remember.

            There are more attractive women, as in hotter and also in abundance.

            To clarify, I didn't GIVE UP lifting for a woman. No. But my intensity waned a bit and I got sick from the lack of sleep. One of my buddies says "women will drain your chi." Did you feel this way too? Did too much time around her make you feel lethargic?

            [–]Ovadox 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            You control how much time you spend with her. If you feel like you're giving her too much of your time, that the rest of your life is suffering, take it back. Anything else is loss of frame. It sounds like that happened in your case but you know, fuck ups happen no shame in that as long as you take it as an opportunity to learn and improve. Glad to see you got refocused on what's important to you.

            [–]Grainslol 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            fuck ups happen no shame in that as long as you take it as an opportunity to learn and improve

            This is exactly my mindset. I cringe at the relationship that triggered me to find this place. I was so hellbent on earning her loyalty by readily sacrificing and making my commitment obvious before any sort of discussion about a committed relationship or sexual experience with her. That was the time I found red pill and cringed retrospectively. Guilt, shame, anger, etc.

            I had much more control over myself on this one. It was surprisingly easy and I had a lot less doubt about my actions. Towards the end I started to pedestal the girl and overlook the implications (red flags) that I was mindful of in the early phases. I started to do "nice" things for her rather than fuck her towards the end of it. Cue break up. She hamstered that she had ex boyfriend issues and I believe her, but I also acknowledge and take responsibility that I wasn't strong enough to pull her away emotionally.

            What I did differently was take solace in the things that I did correctly at the beginning in contrast to the failure of the previous relationship IE being dominant, being comfortable with her paying for shit, having the courage to ask her to leave if she did not want to have sex but instead sleep over, not waiting around to go bowling or go to the gym if she's running late, and punishing bad behavior by cutting contact off in short intervals like a day or 2 (she was pretty needy). These were things I'd have never done with my past relationships. I gained tacit knowledge. I know what I'd be losing and gaining in committed relationships, and moving forward I will be better to control how much time I spend with future SO's.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            She drained my time, not my intensity. But yeah, I redoubled my efforts in the gym, hitting the books, and at work after I cut her loose.

            Women are a time suck. When they are around, the require attention. When they aren't around, they want you to sit and text or talk on the phone or whatever. It is nice to go from spending a lot of time with someone to solo mode and get my priorities back in order. Glad you are kicking ass and feeling good about your decision. that minute before bed does suck, brah. But it is temporary.

            [–]nesshie91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            You handled this woman well. Awesome bro.

            And according to reality, the fact is unicorns don't exist.

            [–]doritoesNcoffee 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            I understand what you are feeling. There is nothing worse than disappointment from a potential LTR. However, this shitty feeling will fade away and you will forget her. Good job keeping your dignity.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Thanks brother. I would handle it differently next time, but I didn't get stepped on by some broad. That is light years ahead of where I was just a few years ago. I call that progress.

            [–]seeing-red- 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            I always enjoy reading your stuff. Thank you for sharing.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Thanks, bro. This sub gave me the tools and knowledge to build a good solid and happy life for myself. Gotta give some back, its only right.

            [–]pupupow 2 points3 points  (5 children)

            Oh, and she loved and actively requested anal…

            That's where you lost me. You do not want a LTR with a woman who enjoys anal. They are slutty and untrustworthy.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

            Yeah but the ones that hate it are boring and prudish. Damned if you do or don't.

            [–]pupupow 1 point2 points  (3 children)

            You can still have a lot of kinky fun without anal.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

            Not disagreeing. For me personally, not gonna waste more than a few weeks with a girl that refuses to take it in the ass.

            I find such women to be generally up tight. Most, in my experience, have body image issues. They think sex is inherently wrong or dirty, and that they get to decide what goes where.

            But that isn't how I roll. If she is mine, all of it is mine to use as I please. I am not going to be rough with her in a way that would hurt her. But I am going to dominate her, and I have yet to get any complaints.

            The point is, I like it. and I don't have to settle for someone that is going to stand in the way of me getting something I like. Not saying chicks that don't dig anal are bad people, I am sure they are lovely. I just don't want to fuck them for very long. It's boring.

            [–]pupupow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I feel that a girl who doesnt love oral and swallow is a problem. Anal not so much. I dont trust girls who dig anal. Not for a ltr. But I could be wrong. Something to consider.

            [–]pupupow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Really for a ltr relationship u want a girl who has fairly traditional values. Find a girl who loves to swallow n hates anal n uve found the golden nugget. Anal sex is depraved. Trust me on that.

            [–]swimmingloggerhead 6 points7 points  (8 children)

            Why is her ex beating her up a red flag?

            [–]changshuaidiao 37 points38 points  (4 children)

            Any girl who stays with a guy after the first time he hits her (unless she, really, I mean really deserved it) is complete trash and addicted to toxicity. A girl telling you her ex(es) used to beat her is basically telling you up front that she has absolutely no ability to appreciate basic human decency. Chicks who let themselves stay in that situation are as "stuck" and helpless as heroine addicts.

            [–]Midwest_Archer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

            I know of one who left after her husband hit her. Always thought highly of her for that.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I wish I would have known this sooner.

            [–]stickfiguresk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Not condoning.

            I completely agree about the heroine addict bit, but a woman running because of an alpha's abuse is too reasonable to be attributable to a woman's solipsistic logic. He's hitting me=I caused this. AWALT

            Of course, the dynamic depends on the man's role and his worth compared to hers. Is he Sean Connery or is he a bitch? Is it Rhianna or Whitney Houston?

            [–]foldpak111 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

            Lets be honest, women had it coming most of the time.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

            Because fuck that shit dude. I'm eternally frustrated by women. I think they are retarded children. But I'm not gonna beat some woman up just because she's an idiot.

            There are women who will stay with an abusive guy, and there are women who will not stay with an abusive guy. I believe the first sort are weak-willed and therefore disgusting. I believe the second sort are strong-willed, which is an attractive quality.

            Women that allow themselves to be beaten repeatedly lack the necessary skill set or resourcefulness or self-respect to change their circumstances. They cannot impart the skills into children because they do not have them.

            I do not want children. However I fuck women and therefore children are possibility. as such, I only find myself attracted to women that would make good mothers regardless of whether not I want to impregnate them.

            [–]Lt_Muffintoes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Also note that failing to identify that a man is potentially violent and avoiding them in the first place is in itself a red flag. Either she does not have the social development to spot them, or she wants the thrill of risking a beating.

            In the same way as jumping into a tiger enclosure is a red flag

            [–]CockFlavour 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Don't downvote Swimming for asking a question - we're all here to learn.

            [–]aww40 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Good job OP, on setting a standard and sticking to it.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I would do it differently, if I had it to do again. However, at the end of the day I was able to keep my respect for myself. So I guess that's a good start. Thanks for the comment

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            How did she even know your boss? I think that's where you fucked up. She probably knew how to get your pants in a bunch because you let her into all of the details that you are insecure about. In this case, your work.

            Obviously you aren't going to be perfect in everything but if there is something you are insecure about she will exploit it and blackmail you.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I brought her to a bbq with work people. And yeah she used that as an opportunity to fuck with me more. Last time I make that mistake, work and bitches are separate. Thanks for asking good questions bro. Helping me improve. Respect.

            [–]thenarrrowpath 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            So even after turning the tables on her (i.e. putting her shit to the curb), you still felt compelled to push her out of your life? It seems like you could have mitigated the "shit tests" and "information games" from her through that demonstration. Yet at the same time, her behavior at the bar was a red flag....

            [–]coop_dogg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            There was no salvation of that relationship, she proved herself to be a toxic person.

            [–]thewalex 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            So I tell her, “I am not mad. Your behavior was gross. You sold yourself to me as a good girl, not a party girl. You are a party girl, which is great – just not for me. So we are through. See ya, around.” Deleted her number and her email. Stopped responding to texts.

            That was honestly my favorite part of your response. I can't imagine the zen you were channeling there, but it was so much more effective than anger or giving her the slightest hint of attention to her "methods" to provoke a rise out of you. I wish I'd said something like that to one of my exes years ago when I found myself in a similar situation one night she wanted to stay out drinking and flirting, but I was BP and drove out to pick her up. The cringe that holds for me to this day...

            I'm very glad that you were able to see the whole situation through a moment of clarity. You are absolutely better off cutting her out of her life. I have a feeling that she would keep finding ways back into it if you tried to only minimize your interaction with her or downgrade your relationship with her.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Dude, I slept on it. reflected some. calmed down some. found where my frame had gotten dinged up and straightened that shit out. By the time I saw her the next day, I was just ready for her to get lost.

            It is those cringe moments in the past that make us stronger now. I have more than my fair share of disgustingly beta memories. Supplication, oneitis, failure to recognize an invitation to fuck, and failure to sack up and make a move on a girl that wanted it. Those moments from your past are your core. They brought you here, and if you forget them you are doomed to repeat past behavior.

            so yeah, you should feel sick when you think about it. but use that feeling to bolster your resolve to never behave that way again. Respect, brah.

            [–]specter504 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            NOT ENDORSING THIS... but...

            "Her ex beat the shit out of her a bunch"

            Can you blame him? Probably worked. Uncivilized, but effective.

            [–]CockFlavour 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Great post, I look forward to hearing more from you.

            Kind of an explosive ending to what sounded like a great relationship. It's interesting though, a drama-fueled ending probably only made her tingle even more than if you had sat her down and said "It's over".

            So lets talk about red flags

            As soon as you said there were red flags I was curious as to what they were, thanks for following through. A MASSIVE red flag is any girl who has more guy friends than girl friends, and she sounds like the type.

            Smarter, sleeker, exceptionally sinister shit testing

            The only thing I wish you would've done is expanded on her shittests. It'd be great if you could post a few of her next-level tests.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I tried to cover this a little bit in the comments. I wish I had taken more diligent notes. Suffice to say it was exhausting.

            [–]foldpak111 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            I don't have time for all that nonsense. A couple tests here and there is cool, but if its an everyday thing I'm out. My true love is the barbell. She is mean to me but I just let her know I'm the man so its all good you feel me

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            great fucking attitude bro. I envy it. I love to hit the weights because of the goal.

            Y'know, now that I think about it - my attitude about lifting is all wrong. I have been going in to the gym with an outcome-oriented mentality. You just blew my mind, bro. Respect.

            I am gonna go fuckin lift and just enjoy the activity without worrying about the results. Thats whats up homie. I feel ya

            [–]foldpak111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            It's not about the results, sure that's the goal but it's the journey that shapes who you are. This series is really motivational and it gets you in the right frame http://youtu.be/5uWJHvHFkpY?list=PLVocaCGI5NRkH6fwZ5fuXLcBD9FTY3JbZ

            [–]Billetbill 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            If you don't already, find a sport or game and tie it to your strategy. I play poker and apply it to the uncertain aspects of my life. In your relationship with a unicorn I see you have an ace and a 9 same suit, doesn't mean you're hot shit, doesn't mean you're going to win if everyone at the table hasn't folded when the last card is laid by the dealer. Everyone antes up big time. Your rationality and emotions ante up big time. You'll still be sweating bullets because you can't read your opponent's mind. Don't be afraid to save your chips and fold. You'll sleep better at night. You'll sleep as a winner tonight, and you'll sleep as a winner when the game goes your way for a change.

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            great analogy, bro. My work is largely long term strategy thinking, but I was too invested to think rationally and clearly. I hit my chute and then there was no turning back, else I would have lost too much frame. I would rather be an asshole that overreacts but sticks to my word thank someone who gives in to begging and tears because she's preetttttyyyyyyy.

            [–]helpyaboy2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Wow nice post. I've come to realize that around my area, the more physically attractive a girl is, the more shallow and bland she is. Your girl sounds just about right as far as my description. Generally speaking from my experience, 7s, as far as ratings go(although i don't like using them anymore), tend to be the better pick. They know they're not as cute as other girls and this takes some air out of their head.

            Only thing i would've done different is I would've let the girl in so she could see me pack her stuff up and let her know where she fucked up. Seeing a her recognize her wrongs, would hopefully correct her, most likely not, and put the power in my hands since i know i'm not taking her back.

            [–]galvanised_computer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Great post.

            About the job I would try to just not give a shit. If they don't have anything you have nothing to worry about. Giving up your frame is letting them have power over you.

            [–]zarus -1 points0 points  (1 child)

            Did you explicitly establish that she was supposed to be a "good girl?"

            [–]Summertime_Dimes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Not sure what that means bro, but feels like a loaded question.

            I expressed clearly and concisely to her that I care about a woman's values and did not waste time getting to know slutty chicks. I never made anything a secret about my feelings towards party girls, nor did I shy away from answering questions and providing straight talk about qualities I admired in women and qualities I considered to be unacceptable when selecting a woman to spend time with.

            knowing my feelings, she always held herself out as a good girl. She may have been, and just drank too much that night. Either way, shit was not acceptable and here we are.

            [–]GregariousWolf -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

            Long story short: there's nothing more empowering for a man than putting aside an attractive woman.

            [–]scarletspider3 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

            i recently let go of a hot chick with the biggest hottest ass u can imagine. Which did turn me beta (before i know what a beta was) for awhile. After fucking her a hundred times and being constantly stressed out, I realized that it just wasn't worth it. I seen that it was changing me into a miserable person so I left. Even dealing with girls that were not as hot or even masturbating was better then letting someone drive u crazy, and i couldn't be happier.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]