So I have been meaning to get back on here and write a few FR's of things that have gone down the last month. This happened to me literally two hours ago, and I had to post it because in a matter of minutes, I failed horribly on an approach, then using the failure to learn, succeeded with the same woman shortly thereafter.
For those that don't know me from my previous FR, I'm 5' 7", about 150, 10% BF. I'm in decent shape, my smaller frame makes me look wider and bigger, but there are many more physically superior men in the dating pool.
It starts in Bed, Bath and Beyond. I'm standing in front of the pet section, looking for a couple new chew toys for my dogs, and also enjoying the store because there were a few attractive women nearby and it seemed like a good place to stand.
One of them (mid 20s HB7.5) walks up to the dog section and grabs a dog coat that is in her cart (women who dress their dogs up normally are trouble, but that's just a side point), places it back on the wall, and grabs a different size.
I turn to her and say, "What kind of dog do you have?"
She goes, "Do I know you?"
And instantly I realized that this girl wasn't going to just roll with the punches, and I almost just turned and walked away, which in hindsight, I wish I would have. I should have just said, "Nope, seeya." and left. It seemed like a pretty strong bitch shield response, especially for such a congruent and simple question in a store. Instead of walking away, I said, "You do now. I'm Menergize." and held out my hand.
She stared at it for a few seconds, finally grabbed it, and shook it. She said, "I'm Annie. Nice to meet you." I held onto her hand for the entire time she was talking and through part of my next question, which is where I definitely fucked this up.
I went right back to the dog as a topic, which obviously isn't my intention, and I don't give a fuck about. I lost sight of my goal. She could smell it. They always will. I wavered, just a little, and even though I got past her shield, I was still in a danger zone that I had to get out of.
I said, "So, what kind of dog DO you have?"
Boom. No longer in danger zone, now I'm in weird guy approaching her in a store zone interested in her dog, instead of her as a sexual object. And that doesn't give tingles.
She said, "A Jack Russell Mix. He's going to love this coat. It was nice meeting you." and put it in the cart and proceeded to walk away from me.
When I asked the question about her dog, I obviously didn't expect that response. Shitty outcome, but I reflected on it for about 15 seconds, immediately realized why it happened and decided to chalk it up to an unforced error. Abundance.
She probably gets approached often, or has a serious superiority complex, but either way, she wasn't interested in small talk, she was apprehensive about even shaking my hand, and if I wasn't going to cut to the chase and make it obvious what I wanted then she wasn't about it.
Either way, bad on me for not holding a more forward and obvious frame.
No more than 5 minutes later, I'm walking through the parking lot and there is the same woman from inside the store. This time she has her dog with her, and is walking him around the parking lot in the new coat she has gotten him.
I decide to make a joke and try to get her to open up a bit, so I say, "He's kind of cute. Like a mouse, or a rat."
She giggled and I saw the doors opening back up.
She said, "I'll take this rat over a lot of people any day."
In my opinion, this is a passive shot by her to get me to probe for information, which is information that she probably has had on her mind all (day, week, month, life), and wants to share her viewpoint on it. The fact that she had, in one weakly executed joke, opened up to me a bit, indicated she was interested.
I decided to be direct, and in this spot to not take the bait to let her share more information, because well, that didn't work out so well inside the store. And that's not what I'm here for.
Many men fail right here. Many men subscribe to the comfort stage. They would view what she said as a chance to get her to open up. I think this is a huge mistake.
Here's the deal: If your SMV is high or decent, and a girl is talking to you, fuck the comfort stage. Your sexual nature, and the fact you're an athletic (hopefully), in-shape man that has the balls to approach her makes her feel comfortable. Guide her. Most of the time, chatting a woman up for 15 minutes without escalation is only going to dry her up and send you on a one way trip to friendsville. It may not happen immediately, but you've already been labeled in her head. Set a strong sexual frame as soon as you can, and escalate it as fast as you comfortably can.
The line I said, I have used for probably 3 years now.
My friend actually cooked it up when we were running around the lake a couple summers ago, and it worked like MAGIC on a set that day, so I've used it since. It ended up with three HB8s, their dogs, and me and him getting real drunk at his place, to the point that I woke up with one of them on me, on the couch, and I didn't remember the evening prior. But she had no clothes on, so I didn't need anyone to recite it for me. Anyway, I digress.
I say, "Your dog should come keep my dogs company and have a play date, that way we can have one of our own."
Her entire body language changed. She relaxed her posture a bit, weight went to one side, touched her hair (clear IOI for those that don't know this already) and said, "But if he doesn't like your dogs, then we can't even be friends." pointing at her dog.
I smiled, and said, "No offense, but I don't want to be friends." Also in hindsight, "I'm not looking for more friends." would have been a better line.
What I did say, however, worked just fine. She jokingly and sarcastically went, "Oooooohhhhhhh so somebody is POPular." In my opinion, I implied abundance with the previous line, the second version does it better, but the first one did it anyway.
I grab my phone, go to the contact book, add a new record, type her name in, and I say, "Only getting more popular, here, put your number in my phone." She did, I joked with her about it being fake, called her (so she has my number now) and proceeded to tell her I would call her to grab drinks this week before I leave town.
Just called her before writing this post, we setup a date for tonight. She asked me if the bar we're going to is a nice place so she knew what to wear. What did I tell her?
"It's a fucking dive, but dress up anyway. We're not going for the setting."
She sent me a snapchat WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS in a black dress, heels, hair already done, obviously the seventh or eighth try because of the pose she was holding, with the caption "This work?"
I sent her a text back. "See you at 8:30."
I'm going to go get a quick workout in, then I'm going to take this chick to this shitty bar that serves super good drinks, and have a grand fucking time, then fuck her grandly.
Everybody enjoy your evening.
tl;dr: Approached chick. Bitch shielded me. I broke it, didn't escalate. She left. I thought I lost the chance, then she's in parking lot with dog, I make a joke, and get her number anyway. Just set up date with her, she sent me snapchat of her in small black dress. Win.
EDIT: I posted this about 6 hours ago. I worked out, ate protein, went to have drinks with her. I showed up 40 minutes late to the bar, and she was there one and a half beers deep already. She ordered my first IPA and paid for it. I paid for my next two beers. My bill was $6, tipped the bartender $4 to square it off. I told her we were going to my house to watch a comedian's special that we both shared as an interest during conversation.
We got through the door, she "stumbled" on the wood floor. I helped her up and said, "let me carry you" and carried her right into my bedroom. The details aside, we can all imagine what happened from here. Once again, frame was king here. She knew what I wanted from the second interaction we had in the parking lot, and I decided to hold that, vigilantly. It has given me even more confidence in my theory about where some real high value men fall short with game. Frame. Just let them know what you want, especially if physically and socially you have ANY value, at all.
Otherwise, you're on the same level as every guy she encounters that tells her that her hair looks nice and they should "catch up sometime because it's been so long". You don't want to be the guy she ran into and ended up hooking up with. Be the guy that she calls all the time, just to hook up with, because she ran into some other guy that "creeped her out" since he was slightly less aggressive than you were.
EDIT 2: While responding to some posts on here, I just got a text from her, "I needed that. Thank you."