all 132 comments

[–]gideonrakthor 76 points77 points  (11 children)

I feel like all they need to do is follow the same basic tips bodybuilders follow. After just two months of heavy squat workouts, I cannot wear my skinny jeans anymore without looking like I am a raging homosexual desperate for a mate.

[–]TXhype 37 points38 points  (7 children)

Yes my butt got significantly bigger and trust me the bitches notice. Also guys, don't skip back day. You'd be surprised how many women love the back muscles

[–]drallcom3 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I was only surprised how tight my jeans can get around the legs...

[–]Iupvoteforknowledge 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Right? Fits waist just fine, quads and ass exploding the rest. Same with my shirts, fits waist fine, shoulders causing sleeves to hike up, subsequently everyone thinks they make clever joke about my shirt.

They don't make clothes for people who lift.

[–]fuckin_retard 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well, there is Barbell Denim

Its quite expensive but people who have thin waists and strong legs are of course still a niche market - you're in the 1%!

[–]drallcom3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a wide range of shirts available at proper stores, but forget about normal everyday clothes.

[–]MEatRHIT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You'd be surprised how many women love the back muscles

What muscles are shown in every rom-com sex scene? After answering that question you won't be surprised anymore.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Leg Day.

I hope you are squatting 315+ for reps if you are training legs once a week.

[–]tangman 7 points8 points  (0 children)

For the most part women should train the same as men but there are differences based on aesthetic preferences. This article does a really good job of explaining how women should train differently:

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/blog/should-women-train-differently-than-men/

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Started dead lifting and squatting again few months back. Holy crap my butt has gotten so big. My jeans are so tight, will be looking at buying a new pants here real soon.

[–]Entrefut 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Your posts make me realize how much of a bitch I am about getting into shape...

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

As soon as you start lifting and eating right, people will treat you better.

[–]Entrefut 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks man, that response just kept me from relapsing. I'm glad this community works as well as it does.

[–]WALLOM 38 points39 points  (1 child)

The big reason why I got with my last LTR (of 3+ years) was because she had a fant-ass-tic backside. Earlier this year, she began making it a daily habit to start her day with a large Dunkin Diabetes iced coffee every morning, with occasionally a second later in the day. Part of this was influenced by her blimpy older sister, who she carpools with to work every morning. When this started I was making an effort to slim and trim from my 215 lbs, so I would never touch the stuff (not that I would anyways since DD is vomit-inducing).

I began noticing that same butt I had been so enamored with in YR1 was losing it's shape, feel, and sexiness, and despite months of gym-timidating her to get with the program it just kept getting worse.

From what I hear she now has three new cats. Dodged that bullet.

[–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotta nip that shit in the bud. Whenever a woman who once was healthy and managed her shit slips into overeating / general lardassery, it generally happens like she starts 1 unhealthy habit to test what she can get away with, then 1 more, then so on. It could even be a response or shit test from her to try to see what your value is and do you have the pride to demand that she put the effort into being a top-notch GF.

My experience shows that passively implying through gyming yourself and dropping dread game here and there isn't enough; she will be thickheaded because her whole weightgain was an exercise in thickheadedness to begin with.

[–]alreadyredschool 26 points27 points  (4 children)

First make her understand that she can fix any of her problemzones with training. Show her the 30 day squat challenge and the before and after pictures. Then watch some hottie on youtube showing you a good buttworkout. Her perfect ass will make you GF insecure. This insecurity can go away once her ass looks like the one you just saw. This should be enough motivation. Life is too short for fat/skinny asses.

[–]johnnywahd 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Brazilian Butt Lift is THE program to improve the butt.

[–]Carbone 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Then link the source dumbASS

[–]fortifiedoranges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a joke. That's the line from the butt lift infomercial.

[–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She needs motivation and guidance to achieve a great butt and low bf% - something any chick can do and should want to do for you. If she doesn't want to, then it's because she does not see you as deserving of such. AKA she knows you do not really feel like you could get that tier of woman, so she is not worried about optimizing her appearance to keep you.

So the one thing I'd add to the main post is that you have to be higher value / SMV than her in the first place and there must be the mutual knowledge that you could go get that hot chick at the gym if you wanted to. Without that motivation, your guidance won't mean shit.

For LTR / married guys, its a good fitness test of your relationship. If she isn't motivated, if she didn't go to the gym at least twice last week and babble on about something she's trying to cut some belly fat, you're not her alpha, you're just the dude she wound up with. I've literally never seen an exception to this - she is always motivated to improve (she might fail miserably, but she actually tries) when she's with that person who she has tingles for and respects.

So before trying any of these strategies, make sure you're that guy in her eyes - the guy she felt she was lucky as fuck to get and doesn't want to mess up. That will give her tremendous motivation and it's basically the only way to keep a woman on a long term 3-4x per week lifting, HIIT, etc etc with caloric control. For her to stay in such a goal-driven, physically aggressive state, where she's disciplined and manages her hamster, you need to really be higher value than her or it won't work.

[–]joaquim56 12 points13 points  (1 child)

It's really sad how the fitness industry does women a huge disservice.

"But I don't want muscles!"

Unless you're taking male hormones, you don't have to worry about getting "muscles", sweetheart.

Meanwhile bullshit like Zumba and high carb diets are pushed on them.

[–]Pxzib 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When explaining benefits of weight training, be careful what words you use. Use the word 'stronger' instead of 'more' and 'bigger'.

"The stronger quads you will have, the more fat your muscles will eat over the course of time. Which will in turn lower your bodyfat-percentage and make you smaller. That is why squats are so important! "

[–]Areimanes 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Absolutely correct, GLO. Women who follow the shitty advice found in magazines or their female non-fitness friends don't book any progress. A few minutes on the treadmill with the tempo of an 80 year old man won't make that butt tighter.

They also all have the same excuse for why they don't lift with barbells they tell me: "I don't want to get too muscular, Areimanes".

Leaving aside the obvious biological differences between men and women with regards to muscle building (testosterone etc), I now just quip that I took up golfing but I don't want to become as good as Tiger Woods to illustrate that their excuse is bollocks.

Most women also don't follow through with excerising and eating rigoursly. And can you blame them? To look good as a woman takes minimal excersise. To look good as a man is a lot more difficult.

In addition to that, the amount of validation women receive on Facebook from their girlfriends and orbiters is insane. If you're a skinnyfat male and you had dozens of people telling you daily that you look great and you shouldn't "excerise too much" or "become too muscular", you'd start to believe it too eventually.

I also don't go out of my way to promote lifting to men or women. If they come to me I can quickly find out if they're dedicated/interested enough. If that's the case, I offer them some free guidance and a few lifting sessions with me to nail down the basics (I'm passionate about lifting and I'm a good teacher if I do say so myself, so I enjoy doing this). I've gotten back favours, sex from women, and made some great new male friends in the process by being altruistic.

[–]markasstrick123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem is women will manipulate guys they don't like into thinking being skinny fat is okay. And we all know the 80/20 rule, so as a result, I feel sorry for most guys. So misguided. So manipulated.

[–]1tombreck2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fitness hamstering picture had my sides splitting, well done

[–]teeelo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don't listen. You're a man and you know better than her. Yell "Benevolent Dictatorship', as you force steak into her mouth.

Well, that's all I needed to hear.

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm going to add something on cellulite prevention.

Most people are deficient in magnesium. Magnesium is important for good quality skin, yet most oral supplements are 1) poorly (1-50%) absorbed, and 2) cause horrific diarrhea.

The answer is magnesium oil, (refills) which you rub into the skin after a shower. Yes, it can sting like a bitch. That just means you are heavily deficient, and should subside after a week.

Anecdote: As a teen, I developed a mystery skin condition on my lower back. Skin specialists were mystified, and steroid creams, exfoliation and strict diet did nothing.
For 8 years, I had this flame looking tramp stamp, with a dry, textured surface.

3 days after rubbing magnesium oil into it, it was gone. Now the skin is smooth as a baby's butt.

Epsom salts, which are magnesium sulfate and chloride, are a centuries-old treatment for joint problems and muscles soreness, and magnesium salts are administered for heart attacks, during low birthweight births.

Can I say it works for me? Absolutely.

I also strongly recommend dry brushing before a shower with a sisal brush. The first time you do this, you will be grossed the fuck out by the amount of dead skin that flies off. It's almost as bad as after removing a plaster cast.
Stimulating the skin in this way supposedly has some voodoo circulation and lymphatic benefits, which I don't buy into, but I have noticed the skin is more supple and firm.
This will make the magnesium oil after the shower sting even more, but I think it helps with absorption.

Finally, there's the old method of losing weight, which I doubt needs to be covered.

[–]100 Modbsutansalt 13 points14 points  (26 children)

Something I've learned over the 25 years I've been involved in fitness is there is no such thing as over training. What's really going on in most cases people consider over training is the person isn't properly recuperating. If you're getting enough rest and nutrients them in most cases is impossible to "over train".

Sure it's semantics, but my point is what many would call over training is far from it. Real over training is exceptionally hard to pull off if you're eating right and getting proper rest.

[–]markasstrick123 11 points12 points  (1 child)

There's no such thing as overtraining, only under recovery.

[–]100 Modbsutansalt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is actually the quote I was looking for.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 5 points6 points  (5 children)

25 years I've been involved in fitness

About 15 years in here, I'm now the strongest I have ever been. I find that the heavier I lift, the longer breaks in between I need to actually make gains. Back in the small pop league of 225x15 benches I could do chest twice a week, but hovering around 3 plates for sets nowadays I find that if I do chest more than once every 8-10 days I will not only not make progress, but actually begin regressing despite optimal nutrition and 7.5hrs of sleep per day.

Note: currently not on steroids and never done, don't care about training frequency/volume while riding cycles.

If you're getting enough rest and nutrients them in most cases is impossible to "over train".

What the fuck do you put in your oatmeal? Let me in on this.

[–]QQ_L2P 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Honey and bananas. What about you?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't eat oatmeal ...maybe there's my problem. My breakfast is egg, sardines, steamed broccoli & carrots.

[–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I assume you've tried taking a break / deloading and then returning to it?

Also, at some point, it's just age. If you started at 18 and you're 15 years deep, then yeah, you're strength can keep growing, but your recovery will take longer, overtraining or no.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah, tried that.

Heavy compound lifts 3x a month = slow but steady gains.

I (seriously) started around 14. Getting pretty close to 30.

My body is definitely taking longer to recover than it used to.

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, TRT.

[–]HedRotPiliCeppers 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The reason I disagree with that is that everybody has a natural limit to how much they can train before their body is breaking itself down. I powerlifted in college, and I realized that if I was biking to work, lifting heavy, and playing basketball, even 3500+ calories and 8 hours of sleep couldn't stop be from losing mass.

[–]KonradKant 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Isn't the definition of overtraining something like "training when you should be resting"? E.g. Wikipedia, "Overtraining is a physical, behavioral, and emotional condition that occurs when the volume and intensity of an individual's exercise exceeds their recovery capacity. "

[–]100 Modbsutansalt 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It was an argument in semantics to make a point.

[–]KonradKant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still don't understand what that point is supposed to be, since I could think of a number of points you could be trying to make. Whatever.

[–]garlicextract 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The point is that lifting 6 days a week can constitute overtraining, and it's not particularly difficult to do that.

[–]Kolbykilla 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally plus you can build up your body's working capacity for lifting, and months down the road it will be extremely hard to overtrain because at that point your body will be used to it. But for the first few weeks you may be extremely sore but you gotta work through that shit.

[–]Rienuaa 11 points12 points  (8 children)

You know, maybe I'm being retarded here, but did you just imply lesbians are a result of lack of heavy handed control from a male figure?

Maybe I'm still new to TRP stuff, but this seems kind of odd.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 16 points17 points  (7 children)

I implied that lesbians are obese because they don't have men keeping them in line.

[–]questionnmark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, sorry for replying late, but anyway this is the truth from what I see. Both my 'mums' are fat, their lesbian friends are pretty much all fat and the couple of lesbians I know that are my age are on their way to becoming fat.

[–]Rienuaa 2 points3 points  (4 children)

That's a bit of a generalization. I would argue that fat people are fat because fat people are lazy, and not pass the blame to men or even involve sexual orientation in this at all, but this is your post.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Women tell each other what they want to hear. Women rarely call each other out and they would rather have a fat friend then no friend. Men on the other hand look out for the well being of their friends even at the expense of feelz.

[–]needmorefat 3 points4 points  (2 children)

No, that would imply lesbians are inherently lazier, which there is no reason to believe. (the lesbian-obesity association is an empirical finding)

[–]h22keisuke 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Correct. The same reason that gay men are hypersexualized is the same reason that there are so many fat lesbians: the male influence is magnified in a male-male relationship and absent in a female-female one.

[–]1Modified_Hackware 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So obvious yet so few people see it.

[–]torxcil -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would've argued that men are more appearance-oriented than women, thus guys want to look good and have enjoyable bodies for their partners. And vice versa.

Have two of the same gender to amplify the effect

[–]the99percent1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

in typical gaylube humor. haha, I can only imagine the thought process when ur chick is bouncing up and down and all you can think about is teaching her squats so her ass gets bigger and firmer. hot damn!

[–]1DowntownSacramento 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Get a gf with a nice ass already, gibroni. I'm only running one self improvement program here.

[–]ollivierre 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed reading this and would like to add something.

Since this is /r/TheRedPill, I suggest to head first to /r/fitness and do some reading on the side bar to get an idea of what is it like to start a strength training program and learn more about proper nutritional habits. If you your self do not know/did not do start a strength program before, it would be merely stupid to teach that to someone else because watching couple videos on YouTube and reading some articles is nothing similar to the moment you are under the bar or doing the actual exercise.

Now OP linked a video by elliot hulse; great video as usual not doubt.However for those who does not know Elliot much you need to understand that this guy always say to start from the basics first before you jump on the big lifts or training in general, but just like he said; most people think this is stupid shit and I can get away without it.

Before you start coaching somebody else about weightlifting you need to start by making sure they have a sound structural integrity and teach them to do the exercise with bodyweight only.

We are currently living dysfunctional lifestyles and people these days are full of weak/deactivated muscles that need to be addressed before squatting or deadlifting,etc. So you should be able to asses your self and assess others for mobility,flexibility and good posture.

The last thing I want is a girl with injured knees and lower back pain.

[–]hohamocha 3 points4 points  (1 child)

But wouldn't squats make the glutes of my bitch hard? Or would it still be soft, yet firm, yet just bigger/curvier?

[–]frazzleddd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get the foundation hard and then layer the fat on

[–]dub121686 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Laughed out loud at the benevolent dictator portion

[–]Locastor 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The squats have to be low. No daylight between the Achilles Tendon and the hams.

This goes for all of your own squats as well, btw.

[–]doubleecho88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ass to grass brother. It's how good squats are done.

[–]vzhu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As low you can, not as low as you must. ATG only after you have the flexibility and ROM necessary for it. Try to hit parallel at the very least.

[–]1Modified_Hackware 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Where the fuck have you been? Missed you brah.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Iv been busy I improving my girlfriend. :D

[–]ilovemyself101 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Brilliant post Gaylube, saved to Pocket for future reference!

[–]monsieurhire2 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Their biggest problems regarding fitness are as follows:

Laziness and aversion to pain, which they hamster away as "not wanting to get big and bulky like a man." But if you ever actually get them to attempt these exercises, they complain that: "It's hard!" or "It hurts!"

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

The biggest mistake you can make is reproducing with a loser. Not only will she give your children her loser genes but she will also raise them to be losers. For that reason you shouldn't stick your dick in mediocrity. If she cant deal with a bit of physical stress, she shouldn't be a part of your life.

[–]PlatosPlatypus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is some potent shit right here.

[–]ThousandTruths 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My gfs butt is too large. I'm trying to get it smaller. Working well with diet and moderate cardio so far.

[–]reallybloodylongname 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does make me wonder what would happen if you just called her on the "but why? i don't want to turn into a hulk" by suggesting that her sexual value is slipping.

[–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going to do this and report back how it works out. Maybe with pictures. We'll see.

Girl is like 110lbs. I'm going to start her off with resistance bands before I give her the bar and then my dick in her ass.

[–]ibuprofiend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another masterpiece from GayLubeOil

[–]thisjibberjabber 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Just discovered the Stronglifts app. Seems very good so far for programming and tracking linear progression. Wife sounded interested. This post is good motivation to spend a bit more time training her.

[–]vzhu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just remember to keep your phone out of the way. Not worth it to replace the glass.

[–]EscortSportage -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is perfect and hilarious at the same time.

[–]dudeweresmyvan -1 points0 points  (2 children)

no such thing as over training

just under recovery

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Your girlfriend won't recover if she doesn't eat right.

[–]markasstrick123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what he meant by under recovery, part of that is not eating right.

[–]Rimeheart -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Honestly, I love this for the inclusion of "benevolent dictatorship." Other wise I suppose yes if she is good enough a man can invest his energy into improving her. Any suggestions how to make it stick with minimal effort after that first month though?

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All it takes is a little bit of positive reinforcement from her friends and she'll be hooked. Oh my god Jennifer your thighs are so tone now. Women live for that shit.

[–]full_package -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Um, can someone point me to a program I can get a my friend started with? Somehow I believe "Starting strength" with 6k/day calorie diet is more designed for 17yo dudes than her in her 30ies.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I linked one in my post. Make sure she understands all the exercises before you start the linear progression.

[–]full_package 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, thanks, I thought that was another troll link.

Any pointers for diet? What's the calorie intake for that program and what do u feed her? Other than red meat?

[–]HMNbean -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

Best way to a better ass is not through squats and deadlifts, it's through glute specific movements like hip thrusts, seated band adduction, and single leg bulgarian split squats.

check out bretcontreras.com for more stuff on glutes.

EDIT: that's not to say she shouldn't squat and deadlift - that's just to say that the exercises that grow the glutes best are the ones I've listed above and that are on that website.

[–]markasstrick123 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In my opinion it's weighted lunges that do the trick.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Yea but its hard to load those movements heavy enough. The glutes are a huge muscle that can take a lot of load. Heavy deep squats build ass. I know because Iv been squating heavy and deep for years and I have construction helmet glutes.

[–]HMNbean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've got a big sets of glutes myself...no hip thrusts as I'm more into powerlifting. However, loaded hip thrusts are easy to load - barbell across the hips. You can also use a band. But Bret's progras have put INCHES on gir's asses in weeks. Sounds unreal but you can check the results out yourself.

It's also easier to teach than squats and deadlifts. Most girls tend to suck at these movements off the bat (as do most guys). So if a bigger butt is the goal, split squats and direct glute work is probably easier to start off with. I ain't got time to teach people how to lift right :P

[–]smokingmonkey420 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The good part about this is it will almost always fall in line with briffault's law and actually make branch swinging less likely. Think about it -- just because her ass reaches it's apex, doesn't mean the work ends. It will need continual maintenance. When she realizes she couldn't have done it without you, you think she's going to take a chance on somebody else? Not bloody likely.

[–]superyay -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Get that bitch a kettle bell, teach her how to do a swing, and done.

[–]markasstrick123 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I know swings are for hip mobility and hamstrings but do they put on size?

[–]superyay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are great for core, hams, and glutes. They strengthen the muscles in those areas, thus "propping" up the ass making it look bigger, but it's not technically getting bigger. At least that's what I'm told. Or just do squats.

[–]GOPokemonMaster -1 points0 points  (0 children)

thank you OP this is a beautiful rant/advice post

"If this post upsets you it's probably because your love life resembles a Botero painting."

[–]SheepKing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yell "Benevolent Dictatorship', as you force steak into her mouth. omg, i hope that some new TRP guy actually do this

[–]The__Dude__Abides -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you mean something like....this?? :P

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VAWWqu3c4FY

[–]TekkomanKingz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Isn't it time you made yourself a nice butt to put your dick into?"

Dying over here!!!!

[–]tallwheel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's were you're wrong homo.

Ah. I think you meant to write "your". That, and you could lose the apostrophe in "that's", and maybe even the W in "wrong".

Thats were your rong homo.

Yeah. I think that's pretty good.

[–]BuffaloSoljah -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

[–]mega_beta -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

She could also improve her butt by mowing the lawn more often.