all 57 comments

[–]Ronin11A 83 points84 points  (8 children)

People need to just stop obsessing over whether or not they're "alpha" or "beta" or "sigma" or "omega" or whatever the fuck they're calling themselves that day of the week.

Be the best version of you. Hold your Frame. Live life on your own terms.

[–]reddiforlove 18 points19 points  (4 children)


I understand and agree with the point OP is making, but I think he and others are confusing guys feeling emasculated and wanting to become the One True AlphaTM with guys wanting to use the female brain's primitive impulses to understand and adapt to their behavior and using the word Alpha as code for that.

I refused to even use the "Alpha-Beta" language for years because I've always found the behavior of men who were typically categorized as Alphas in pickup (AMOGs) to be assholes and morons.

I could care less whether I am considered a "true Alpha" as long as I am continuing to learn, grow, and thrive as a man.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Being married it's easy to think this alpha-beta stuff isn't that big a deal. And in regards to my wife, it's true, she's not paying attention to every little thing. But It's different meeting other women, they're hyper-aware of this shit on an unconscious level.

There's a calmness to alpha state. The voice deepens, the mind is free of petty insecurities and neediness of the moment, and the vision broadens. You become Big Daddy amongst all the squabbling, grasping children.

A lot of guys posture alpha, but come across as aggressive dickheads. They attempt to impose their dominance. It's not about that.

After discovering TRP and reading my ass off, I've been paying more attention to my state and voice, which I never bothered to do before. I find women melting in my presence when I'm on, and curling their nostrils up like I just farted when I'm off.

There aren't enough old-school alphas around and women are starving for a dose of pure male essence. Develop that and you'll be the shit.

[–]1TrainingTheBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I agree with you and on what /u/reddiforlove was saying, I wasn't using this terminology until TRP. The only reason I use it here is because it seems that this is the place where I need to make these distinctions.

[–]easythrowaway123 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hear, hear!

The most alpha thing you can ever do is take action to better yourself.

[–]Dark triad expert: - - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They're just classifications used to describe men who embody a certain level of success/dominance who share a certain set of characteristics. They weren't meant to become things that people obsess over and plan their lives around. That's missing the point entirely. A lot of guys with problems want to be successful, but instead of working on inner game and building upwards they look for "how to be alpha" and think they can just "acquire an alpha lifestyle." This is naive to say the least.

[–]teeelo 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, the majority of users are simply repeating the same things over and over again.

• I found this on Two X look how smart I am

• I did this, give me internet points

• I don’t want to do the work make this easy

• Tell me what to do

• Tell me what to say

• Tell me what to think

• Tell me I’m worth it

Yes, thank you for this breakdown. I see it all the time and it goes hand in hand with our newest Sticky.

We don't want to concern troll we just want you to re think and reflect on why you are saying what you are saying.

New guys, you would be wise to take this mans advice.

[–]RPLTR 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this post. I'm in an LTR and have been for 3 years, I discovered TRP 6 months ago.

Some of what is said on here is toxic and makes marriage/LTR sound like a jail sentence. I too am happy, my SO is awesome and I love spending time with her. I spend a lot of time on self improvement and I'm now going for my third promotion in 2 years in work. Life is good and no one is going to tell me otherwise "cos well you know, hypergamy".

Ignore the comments that are getting downvoted about this being blue pill. There's no science or set way to live your life. Are you happy in your 11 year LTR with 2 kids? Then good for you man. Have a beer and kick back, life is what you make of it, not what some guys on a online forum think it should be.

[–]bautron 3 points4 points  (7 children)

Hey man a question regarding your ltr experience.

I read a lot about awalt, but i really believe that there are many well educated, family oriented and trustworthy women out there. Reading trp really does to convince me otherwise.

Do you believe that AWALT regarding hypergamy?

[–]1TrainingTheBrain[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I do.

Here's why. (I'm on mobile now so this will be brief and hopefully typo free)

Women, as in female homosapians are programmed the same. Hypergamy is biologically part of them.

Now, the way they handle themselves and their commitment to you will vary from woman to woman.

This is why I have made it this far with my lady in a relationship that is always improving.

After joining the military and screwing my head on right I was able to recreate me.

If I hadn't we probably wouldn't be together. It is my Alpha behavior and her loyalty and personality that keep us together.

I love my wife and I love her company, she's fucking awesome. I know a lot of guys here are divorced or single and they hold a grudge against LTRs, but I will let you know right now - if you maintain a high standard for yourself and you find the right women, then hypergamy will be your ally.

As a side note: When we go out on dates, she points out to me how fucking pathetic most 'men' are. I know she shows me off to her friends and sometimes I flirt with them just to get a rise out of her, it's all good. She knows I'm the man and she wants me to forever be her man.

So much for brevity...

Edit: Hypergamy not hyperglycemia

[–]topspeedj 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Do you believe that AWALT regarding hypergamy?

TRP is all about remembering that all humans are animals. We have base desires and instincts that influence our actions, but our sentience allows us to be aware of these instincts.

Hypergamy and gathering of resources are instincts of the feminine human, just as much as leadership, valuing facts, and taking responsibility for our actions are instincts of the masculine human.

However modern society and the gradual feminising of it has meant that women can indulge their instincts unchecked. Unfortunately most women lack the self-awareness to recognise that, due to their inherent solipsism.

Once you realise that hypergamy and gathering of resource are in a woman's programming, you feel less angry at their actions. Do not hold women to men's standards. But if you do find a woman with self-awareness, she is worth keeping around.

Women are incapable of unconditional love for anyone but their biological children. However, men are capable of UL for anyone. However, female solipsism leads women to not be aware of that and so they assume that because their love for their own children is so strong, no love between any other pair of humans is noticeable.

So yes, AWALT.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

that all humans are animals. We have base desires and instincts that influence our actions, but our sentience allows us to be aware of these instincts.

Thank you for that nugget of gold. That basically sums up things so well in a nutshell.

[–]topspeedj 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah, although the degree to which we're self-aware is unknown. Maybe we're still slaves to our base desires in ways we can't fully comprehend.

Also does your username mean "Always ready"?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More or less. Prepare well would be a slightly better translation.

[–]Endorsed Contributorfluviant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, "all women are like that." However, there's a caveat -- all women are like that only if you let them be like that.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not OP but my personal philosophy is that AWALT to one degree or another. The goal is to find a woman who exhibits the lower end of the spectrum as far as Hypergamy and all that.

[–]crazyhivemind 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You can never truly be happy unless it's internal.

Edit: I feel like this was badly worded so what I meant was: You can never be truly happy if the feeling comes from an external source. Being better than someone, having a lot of money, owning things, relationships etc etc because if you take away those things then you also take away your happiness. If you manage to derive happiness from yourself ie; skills you've developed, interesting experiences, building an amazing body for yourself then this feeling of happiness will be hard to lose.

[–]u-r-silly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do not take out of context...

[–]omg_cats 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great post. You're talking about meta-frame in a way few who read this sub will understand because if they understand it then they're probably not on this sub. "Being Alpha" is a lot like having "the man card", which is to say we're looking for someone else to validate our behavior. Someone else gives you a man card, and usually it's a company who includes it with something you bought (a gun, a car, a whiskey, a cologne). Here, it's upvotes.

It used to be enough that our behavior resulted in the right things ("hey, my wife's back in line when I don't act like a pussy, cool") but now we have to go find examples of "Acting alpha" or "look at this twat acting so beta" to get some validation.

My advice: when posting/replying, ask what reaction you're looking for:

  1. [ ] Improving someone else's life.
  2. [ ] Other people seeing me as more competent/alpha.

If it's #2, just close your browser and go do something else.

[–]theconversationalist 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Yea be alpha... but that doesnt mean you dont ask for help or directions. I've seen first hand what a alpha with no clue what they are doing can do to a family and it aint pretty or good. Be smart more than be alpha.

[–]1TrainingTheBrain[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I hope you didn't get the inclination that I was saying 'don't ask for help'. I was saying not to ask for justification for your actions in order to make yourself 'more Alpha' and 'more liked on Reddit'.

I would rather, "I've tried being more decisive yet I'm struggling with shit tests" type questions


"Was x, y, z the ALPHA thing to do?"

I hope this makes sense.

[–]Grimpillmage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For the guys on here who are married and are thinking, “I need to get divorced because Reddit says that’s what I should do.” Or “I have to spin plates, because that’s Alpha” ...gentlemen you’re missing the point.

Do. You.

I'm pretty new here (ditched OneY for this place because making fun of Radfems in the context of a guy being called a rapist for being raped is bannable there now) and this is pretty much how I've been doing things my whole life, way before I knew this place was a thing.

I see a lot of reverse concern trolls here going: "Why are you watching X?" "Why are you reading Y?" who seem to be missing the actual point of being one's own man.

This little piece of advice is an absolute gem and I hope more people here realise that you don't fucking read a checklist someone else made about "HOW TO BE TEH ALPHA MAIL" and tick off boxes till you metamorphose into Chaddius Thunderloins.

That's not Alpha at all. That's dressing up as an Alpha for Halloween.

[–]cascadecombo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For the guys on here who are married and are thinking, “I need to get divorced because Reddit says that’s what I should do.” Or “I have to spin plates, because that’s Alpha” ...gentlemen you’re missing the point.

This is huge, too many people are simply trying to wear someone elses pants. They don't think about how to live a proper life and would rather following some example they read on a website without any other real understanding about it other than they like what they hear in this area. Some people are strongly opposed to the idea of marriage, others do in fact want to have and build a family. To each their own, rather than telling everyone to do one thing over the other.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You can read my last post if you want to know my exact problem. But suffice to say I have a problem that is:

  • new to me
  • quite embarassing to me
  • does not have a straight well-known way to fix it

And that's why I'm asking: "what should I do".

Because well, I don't know what to do. Is that bad? I'm not asking someone to comfort and cuddle me, I'm not asking for approval do to X or Y, I just tried stuff I came up with to no avail, and so I ask: "what should I do". Because I clearly see I lack knowledge to solve the problem at hand.

Is it not Alpha to admit you lack knowledge? You can never know all there is to know - you ALWAYS lack knowledge, it is just that it is only relevant once in a while, and most of the time it's usually not (who cares if I lack knowledge on quantum physics and biochemistry when I'm a programmer?)

I would like your general opinion on this.

[–]1TrainingTheBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There seems to be a few guys who think I was saying Don't ask for help and the others understood exactly what I meant.

I don't think anyone should walk the I don't need help path. Everyone needs help, a mentor, advice from time to time.

What I am saying, is that you do not need this forum to tell you whether you've made it, which action you have to take, and whether or not you are deserving of the title 'Alpha'.

This is your brief life, you need to understand what and how to be a man in this feminized society and you need to take what's yours before you die.

Ask for help, not validation. Read the information, research where it came from and why it is correct, understand how it will make you better, apply it in the real world, improve yourself and always raise the bar.

Find comfort in the uncomfortable

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in a long distance relationship with my wife for a short period of time before we got married. If I listened to some of the baseless opinions I read here, some other dude would be living my awesome life instead of me right now.

[–]Goldfulgore 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I do agree with what you say here HOWEVER

  1. this is a sub to help people and guide them to the right direction. As much as it annoys me to read newbie questions, there was a time I used to think like that.

  2. LTR are a different kind of RP. Your comfort zone is in the relationship. Once you have established your frame as RP it's just a matter of maintaining it.

Being single is different. Your frame is challenged by different people of different levels of confidence.

[–]1TrainingTheBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a great point and I try to stress that I'm coming from a unique situation.

There are certainly aspects of TRP that cover all areas of being a man in today's feminized society, but when you're in a LTR things are much different than when you're walking your path solo.

[–]H3lius 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Personally, the big take away from this is to examine EVERYTHING you do and ask yourself why you're doing it. Before I make any post, even this one, I examine why I'm about to do it. And I examine it on a deep phycological level. I'm posting this comment because I hope other dudes will start doing (and save a ton of time and pain) what I've found to be extremely useful in life. Not because I want someone to read it and go, "Wow, this dude is smart" (ego), "He must be an alpha and have his shit figured out" (self esteem). Or wait.. Maybe it is for some reason like that...

It's really hard to take off the red pill examining goggles once you've put them on. It's a slippery slope that you cannot turn back from. The only choice is to turn questioning my motives (which I do now without even thinking about it) into avoiding doing things for the wrong reasons and therefor eventually stop the questioning which I seem to not be able to get rid of. Now that, that's self development at it's finest.

[–]Coolspot80 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Balls if I'm taking advice off a 27 year old!

[–]circlhat 1 point2 points  (2 children)

your post is directionless and could be taken the wrong way. Your are basically saying stay in school kids, but which school? which major? should i get a minor ? should i take out a loan?

Guess what, the world doesn't resolve around you and what people think of you is fucking important, they ask question so they can gauge how to correctly be a alpha without being a asshole.

This entire Be tough don't ask for help shit is what kills natural alpha's.

I for one like all the content of the red pill , except post like this which pop up every once in a while criticizing other post.

The worst thing about your post is the arrogance: "Hey everyone I no longer need to know the truth about feminism so everyone stop talking about that and only talk about what I feel is important"

If you don't agree with feminism you better have a damn good reason these days and the post here help me formulate a argument because some of us have to work/live/study under a feminist mantra that can be quite convincing

[–]SuperDuperShibe 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I'm thinking the OP is talking about individuals who post here and seek validation rather than individuals who are seeking opinions about their logic behind their actions. Then again, it's kind of difficult to discern between the times.

[–]1TrainingTheBrain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is a fine line and it seems /u/circlhat fell on the wrong side of where I was going with this.

The only thing I want someone to take from this post is this, you need to focus on living and understanding your life and what you want from it. Making progress and being popular on a man forum like TRP isn't what will get you to that level of self enlightenment.

This isn't arrogance, it's me trying to help some guys who are trying to take back what society has been trying to repress since they were born.

[–]ultrasuperthrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alpha means taking challenges head on with unwavering commitment and a tried and tested and true resolve. It means doing the big jobs that people fear and facing them head on.

[–]MyNewAccount9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

all of these are great points.

The only thing you might be missing is this: for generations, there were rites of passage that made it clear to boys that they were now men. And the keepers of manhood were other men.

What that means is its instinctual for men to feel they need other men to tell them that they count as men.

This is how it worked for generations.

We don't do that now so it's just a hurdle we need to get over.

[–]2Grit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are a tool. As much as I agree with the ideology of this sub, people like you make it obvious that most of the "stories" here are bluffs.

[–]tenpointsix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like these "mentor" posts, but they seem impersonal. Has anyone on here done a post where it's an actual essay/letter they wrote someone else who they know personally, but with the names/identifying details left out? That's how you get masterpieces like If.

[–]tyofwa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe Im missing a key point in this message, but something about the "seeking approval" part turns me off.

This group is like Fight Club. Therefore we don't get to LEARN from many outside sources because they simply don't exist. Furthermore, as we all make progress to become more alpha / masculine / assertive / fit / <insert accomplishment/> ... most of us seek out coaching, mentorship, and encouragement during the transition.

Think back to Mr Miaguai (sp?) and DanielSon... he made him wax cars, sweep floors, etc. Those chores didn't appear to DIRECTLY coorelate to Dan's ability to fight until the mentor helped him put it all together. Essentially, he was FAKING it until he was MAKING it.

FAKING it is hard. Walking into a gym and not knowing where to start is hard. How many reps, Proper technique, right routine? Extend this to situations with women or work or social interactions.

This is one of the key areas that swallowing the red pill differs from the movie. Within minutes of swallowing the red pill NEO was swept away to a new world-- a world where his ONLY CHOICE was to complete the mental transformation. Everyone around expected, encouraged, celebrated, and participated in the transition.

Now contrast that with our "Red Pill". That entire support system lives in this forum and a few books.. maybe on a baseball team or hunting club we seek out too.

Think about the alternative of helping the new ones.. more would try to puke the pill back out. They would be in the worst possible state ... A complete awareness of the feminine matrix and stuck somewhere between the blue beta they know and the red alpha they don't know how to become. Sounds like hell.

[–]2asd1100 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

I have cheated, can’t stand each other, may not have sex as frequently, and that I have missed out on life.

You started when you where 16, I assume si isn't older than you, so sorry you arent special, it makes a lot of sense. IF you where 47, I guarantee you that that 11 year relationship would be very different.

but I will be damned if we were to walk into a room and I would not force you to respect my presence.

You're lucky damnation doesn work, kinda hard to intimidate 80 000 people.

I am what I call a Family Alpha, that means I’ve got different priorities than the single Alpha guy, but we would have that immediate understanding that neither of us will accept any disrespect and that we are both always on top of our game.

Got a tittle I see, very alphaish of you, your whole post up to this point was a ego rub, it really screams security dude. Good job.

For the guys on here who are married and are thinking, “I need to get divorced because Reddit says that’s what I should do.” Or “I have to spin plates, because that’s Alpha” ...gentlemen you’re missing the point.

strawman. We mostly argue that at their present state they can not manage their wife. You do not start by lifting your own body weight. And that is essentially what these guys have to do. In that case a gradual escalation is negesary and some wifes will not allow that growth.

Do you know why you’re constantly seeking Alpha approval form this sub? Because you aren’t an Alpha.

I absolutely agree. But that is the mods policy if you would pay close attention. They are fundamentally enablers. So we can not do anything about it.

I barely post

You should, it's fun.

If you want to be the Family Alpha, then you need to stop trying to justify why you current beta position is ok and you need to do this yourself

Exactly, stop trying to justify keeping that relationship at any cost, some things just can't work and can't be fixed. Have to self awareness to realise, I can't do this. I need to move on, raise my skill level and then start over.

I mostly agree with you, but you are missing a huge chunk of awareness in regard to girl game. What you call married alpha is just a alpha that is domesticated. Far from a beta, but you are still owned. This is rare in western societies, but very common in traditional societies. Even good RP women have game and if you fail to see it due to your ego and desired outcome, you will get owned. But you seem happy so disregard that last idea and enjoy your life.

[–]icallmyselfmonster 0 points1 point  (3 children)

The dude is just humblebraging. Plus his wife is probably chugging dirt pipe milkshakes. Monogamy is counter to our DNA, sure as fuck I wont be taking advice from somebody that doesnt know himself.

[–]2asd1100 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Monogamy is counter to our DNA,

I stoped listening to my DNA, when I started taking shits in a designated room.

That is not an argument. You can do whatever makes you happy you just need to be aware of the drawbacks and limitations.

[–]icallmyselfmonster 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Have you ever taken a shit in the wild? I love back-country snowboarding and I swear taking a shit in -20 degrees c. feels a whole lot better than shitting in a designated room.

[–]2asd1100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are a better beast than me my friend, I hate it, without a toilet I can't ponder life's misteries and without that I stop being human.

[–]awfukbye -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

The top part of your post is purely babble and hypocritical. The second part is gold. You're basically implying how red pillers think and feel in the first partt, who comes here for approval? Lol. And also hamstering that you and your wife are some kind of power couple and she isn't sucking off your buddy steve behind your back.

Second part was very nice especially the part where make decisions based on your goals and do it. But again implying redpillers aren't making original thoughts and implementing them.

Overall your post irritated me enough to reply which i haven't in a while. Please approve this post because that's what i live for and why i come to this sub. Thanks

[–]nothere_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i agree w/ him,the volume of "haha look at this beta on the internet laugh and poke" posts here is annoying but hey shitposters gonna shit and im simply going to filter those posts even if it risks changing how content is absorbed.

[–]Alegretron -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

Sounds like a blue in red coating.

[–]u-r-silly -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sounds like sticking pill in ass instead of swallowing it.

You see? I can do it too! Now please go read the sticky...

[–]Perfected -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

You have some contradictory statements in your post.

[–]1TrainingTheBrain[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Instead of laying down a blanket statement that is basically saying, 'Ha I found a spot where you messed up, maybe you could provide me with a quote or two and we can discuss that.

[–]ZamatoElite -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Being an enthusiastic beta bux doesn't make you alpha.