top 200 commentsshow all 332

[–]1GRRMkills 49 points50 points  (41 children)

Damn, these stories are depressing. I wouldn't know what to do in a situation like this, my daughter getting fucked over by someone who professed their love to me and then turned around and raped my bank account and my life.

How do you even protect yourself from falling into these situations? It seems like all someone has to do is decide on a whim that they don't want to be in the marriage anymore and they fuck up your whole life

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (30 children)

Never ever get married. I can't believe that there are still men, even trp men here, telling you that it's somehow ok. Do not ever get married. Not ever. Period.

[–][deleted]  (22 children)


    [–]1GRRMkills 15 points16 points  (19 children)

    I like this idea. Have a ceremony, she can change her name and be accepted into the family, put a ring on her finger etc., but no government contract. No real 'marriage', just a set of vows that you will keep between the two of you

    Another thing: If I did such a thing, I would propose with a plain gold band. I'm not supporting the trade of diamonds or their huge markup, and also get to test the girl to see if she's in it for what I can give her ($$$) or for me

    [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (6 children)

    Yes that is what I tell my men in RL. Have a wedding. Celebrate. But do not ever sign a contract to give your life to a woman. Women are fickle. They will cheat. The anonymous studies? 55% of women admit that they have cheated on you.

    More then half. You want to play those odds? And for what? For what?

    And me? I went after married women. Two thirds of them fucked me and lied to their husbands. I needed to see this with my own eyes. So I did.

    I don't even care about your marriage anymore. Sorry guys. I fucked your wife.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Ditto on the married woman thing. Some you can tell are obvious whores, but others you'd never think that they'd cheat. You just need to give them a hint of emotional excitement in their otherwise dreary lives and suddenly the vows are more useless than the paper they were written on.

    [–]IAmTheIlluminatiAMA 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    That's a dangerous game. If some guy fucked my wife and told me I would shake his hand and ask for a written statement to use in court. For every guy like me there's 10 that would try to beat the shit out of you at best.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yes that is very true. I don't do this anymore. Before I found TRP (but as I was inadvertently taking it) I needed to see how easy it was to game a married woman. To help me understand what had happened in my life. To understand how these other guys were gaming my (ex) wife.

    It's easier then gaming a single woman, honestly. It's actually easier. They get used to no one gaming them and they want it, they enjoy it. If you are married you better be running game on your wife. All the time. You can't rest or relax. Now you're married so it's just harder. At least being single and plating women I relax most of the time and only run game when I want to. If you are married? You better be running game every single day.

    [–]vicious_armbar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I like this idea. Have a ceremony, she can change her name and be accepted into the family, put a ring on her finger etc., but no government contract. No real 'marriage', just a set of vows that you will keep between the two of you

    As other people have pointed out beware of common law marriage. The entire concept was originally created to defeat plans exactly like this. Some states in the U.S. recognize common law marriage. Others do not.

    [–]makin_u_mad_bro_1998 10 points11 points  (6 children)

    In particular

    In British Columbia, a person who has lived and cohabited with another person, for a period of at least two years is considered a common law spouse, unless one or both of them were married to another person during this time, according to the "Estate Administration Act".[17] This creates an automatic right to wealth or property accumulated, and will also make each spouse automatically responsible for half the other’s debt, whether they helped incur it or not.[18]

    [–]ThePedanticCynic 21 points22 points  (4 children)

    Feminists in the US are pushing to make this occur after 6 months.

    Also: is gay marriage allowed there? Because if it is you can legally marry your best guy friend and neither of you ever has to worry about this.

    [–]RealRational 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    legally marry your best guy friend

    I can't believe a day may come where I actually have to marry my best friend to avoid being raped by the system. I need to move to a different country...

    [–]baseballbat 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    That feel when i now pronounce you chuck and larry is a documentary...

    [–]1GRRMkills 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    United States citizen, winner! Plenty of good states without common law marriage

    [–]Limekill 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I like this idea. Have a ceremony, she can change her name and be accepted into the family, put a ring on her finger etc., but no government contract. No real 'marriage', just a set of vows that you will keep between the two of you

    Just because you didn't marry doesn't mean anything. The courts could decide you are de-facto or cohabitation after 2 years or have a child = Basically married.

    This applies for Australia, Canada (actually 12 months), NZ, Israel, UK (living together test) and I would be willing to bet my right arm - most states in the USA.

    If you have assets you have to be a lot cleverer than that.

    [–]1GRRMkills 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    A few, most of the ones that do you wouldn't want to live in anyways. However, many good states including Oregon, North Carolina, California, Virginia, New York, Pennsylvania, Washington, and many more do not recognize a couple as being married simply through cohabitation or having children (common law marriage, discussed elsewhere). The only states you really miss out on are Colorado and Texas.

    America, fuck yeah. We also have all ethnic foods, guns, cheap gas, and fast cars. Join the dark side

    [–]sweetleef 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    They've got that covered - try telling a judge that she doesn't deserve half, just because you didn't sign your name.

    If that worked, everybody would do it.

    [–]Dopebear 5 points6 points  (4 children)

    And those people that proclaim "But just wait and find the one! Marriage is totally fine and great if you just take your time and find the right one! Stop being so negative!" etc

    They can never answer "Well, what's in it for me or any other male? Why should I give up my whole life, savings, sanity and everything?"

    You don't get more pussy through marriage. Less, apparently.

    [–]mister_barfly75 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    "Do you take this man to love and to hold?"

    "I do. Not. Give. Blowjobs. Ever. Again."

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Not to mention that divorced men attempt suicide at a 20% rate. One out of five men who go through a divorce rape attempt suicide.

    That number is insane. It's staggering. But because it's male issue no one gives a shit.

    [–]neveragoodtime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Or maybe you should be a little more worried about the 1 in 5 women that has to endure some guy telling her "good morning". Like she has to have a good morning just because he tells her to. Disgusting.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Honestly the known posters who say marriage can work are probably generalizing for upvotes and those who are in marriages are just flat out hamstering. Marriage 2.0 is never okay under any circumstances ...pretty soon, neither will not having a vasectomy. The more men avoid being trapped the more laws will accommodate women trapping men because wealth transfer from men (primary earners) to women (primary consumers) is essential for economy.

    If you add up the percentage of men in prison for false rape or petty crime bullshit and those paying child support, alimony or both as well as those who've paid in the past it will probably be over 50% of all men. And the other 50% are paying taxes to fuel corporate profits, minority welfare & female support programs. With our new healthcare, everyone is forced to pay for private profits & male premiums compensate for increased female care costs/visits.

    We're designed to be wealth generators for society & have no way of opting out. The only option is earning more.

    Furthermore we live in a society where having children or a family is socioeconomically designed to penalize men.

    [–]RealRational 11 points12 points  (3 children)

    How do you even protect yourself from falling into these situations?

    Only way to win the game is not play.

    [–]neveragoodtime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You mean that applies to more than just tic-tac-to and global thermonuclear war?

    [–]sweetleef 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    It seems like all someone a woman has to do is decide on a whim

    Try and find some men who are getting $52k from their ex-wives to sit on their asses all day.

    [–]TimPartendale 61 points62 points  (17 children)

    This lady is worse than a fucking leech; she's trying to suck this man dry even though she has no need to (she's dating another rich dude and she is receiving some people's yearly salary in child support).

    Luckily from the comments it seems unlikely that the mother will get her hands on the account and be able to withdraw massive amounts of money.

    [–]iloveyoumorethanham 40 points41 points  (3 children)

    It's not the woman that benefits most from all of this. It's all the expensive lawyers and courts. They are the one whispering in her ear to take everything.

    She's totally still a massive cunt though.

    [–]pchiodo 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    C.U.N.T. = Can't Understand Normal Thinking

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    The lawyers are simply filling in a need. They're no more evil than knives are.

    The cunts who would wield them to destroy men who they once said "I love you" to? Yeah, evil is a pretty accurate term.

    [–]SpeakDaTruf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The lawyers are simply filling in a need. They're no more evil than knives are.

    Stop hamstering. If knives could talk and smile and coddle you then maybe you'd have a point. Until then, you don't.

    [–]RealRational 12 points13 points  (9 children)

    some people's yearly salary

    She's receiving about 10 THOUSAND dollars more than the average American salary. I'm not sure how taxes work on "child support", and I assume at least some of that is alimony as, how could "child support" possibly be that high? Doesn't seem possible. But I wonder if she even has to pay taxes, which would make her Net Income in the top 10% of people in the world, without doing shit.

    [–]sweetleef 11 points12 points  (3 children)

    She's receiving about 10 THOUSAND dollars more than the average American salary.

    It's even worse - the average household income in 2011 was 69k - that includes both spouses and is skewed by a small group of super-rich who make disproportionately more. A better measure is the median individual salary - in 2011, 50% of the individual earners made less than $27k. So she's at double the median, for doing nothing.

    Not a bad payoff for walking down an aisle and letting a guy take care of you for 10 years.

    [–]RealRational 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Hey now, that's unfair. He's oppressing her by only... yeah, even as a joke I can't think of anything. My brain just doesn't fail to work that way.

    [–]vicious_armbar 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Exactly. The "average" is skewed by the super rich. A much more honest number is the median salary which is only $27,000.

    [–]TimPartendale 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Only $572,000 left to pay over the next 11 years! Man, that's a mortgage on my new mansion.

    He did say he makes a lot of money and lives in the State of New York, where the price of living is higher than say rural Missouri.

    BUT STILL even when you consider all of these factors it seems like a ridiculous sum of money and should be lower. Not only that; when his daughter stays with him I'm sure he'll be spending on her.

    [–]vicious_armbar 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    I'm not sure how taxes work on "child support"

    Child support is tax free to the beneficiary. The person paying the child support has to pay the taxes on it.

    [–]RealRational 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Talk about a rigged fucking system. I don't understand how anyone can not see this type of bullshit for what it is, destroying the fabric of society.

    [–]2NiftyDolphin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    For a lot of people X is never enough, they always want X + 1.

    [–]getred_fuckblue 82 points83 points  (50 children)

    52k USD? What the fuck?

    You're telling me you need 142.46 $ every day to keep a child alive?

    142 fucking dollars. Everyday:

    It barely takes 7 well placed dollars to live one day. What on Earth does she need the other 130 for?

    (Obviously I know what's going on here, but I'm baffled at the lack of logic)

    How can any judge even approve a sentence for 140 USD every single day for 18 years?!?!.

    Fucking crazy.

    [–]marxistbacon 42 points43 points  (22 children)

    Nothing to do with what they need. In Canada at least, government guideline recommended child support is basically a sliding percentage of the payer's income. Doesn't matter how much the ex wife makes or if she won the lottery or married a millionaire. I basically pay one third of my after tax paycheque income to her even though she remarried and is doing just fine financially. It's a strong disincentive to work harder- a 1000 dollar bonus will see me pay 400+ in income tax and in theory at least 100-200 in increased support. It has less feel of "what does the child need" and more of "how hard can we squeeze/punish the man". The only upside is that they're getting older. ..light at the end of the tunnel.

    [–]neveragoodtime 35 points36 points  (6 children)

    That whole idea is what needs to be reformed. Anyone can estimate what a kid's basic financial needs are. Split that between the parents, considering the shared custody, and neither parent should owe the other anything. There is no mechanism for ensuring the other parent is spending it on the kid, or working to full potential. And if you can't afford the basic needs of your child, maybe you shouldn't be a custodial parent.

    [–]ThePedanticCynic 30 points31 points  (1 child)

    That's way too reasonable. I think you forgot that men aren't really people.

    [–]neveragoodtime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Could the Cockwallets please stop bitching about paying these women to raise your child? If we let you raise your own kid that would be the definition of patriarchy, and borderline pedophilia.

    [–]WeAreGlidingNow 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    And if you can't afford the basic needs of your child, maybe you shouldn't be a custodial parent.

    FTFY: if you can't afford the basic needs of your child, the taxpayers and/or baby daddy will pick up the tab.

    [–]vicious_armbar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    if you can't afford the basic needs of your child, maybe you shouldn't be a custodial parent.

    This. If you can't afford to keep your child fed and clothed; then you have no business raising them.

    [–]mister_barfly75 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Similar story here. I'm in the UK. A quarter of everything I earn is going to support my ex and subsidise her living with some pigshit thick Neanderthal who's nearly 50 years old and can barely scrape a living by driving a van all day, simply because the two of them have the privilege of living under the same roof as the kids I haven't seen in 2 years because having me in the same town as him makes him feel uncomfortable, apparently.

    Awwww, bless. Diddums.

    (I don't think that it helped that I'd turn up for my spell with the kids and have the local single mums flocking around me because they could spot the tension between me and her and smell the attractive aroma of a steady income)

    So where's my incentive to work harder? I can get a promotion, move to a better paid job, take on a more stressful position and for what? To give them an extra few pounds in their pocket every week? Well, excuse me if I don't want to fund that fuck being able to buy another couple of pints every Friday, I'm quite content with what I've got and don't feel the need to drive myself into an early grave just to help them feel a little bit more comfortable.

    As much as I love the companionship of a good woman, I really don't have any surprise that the Sexodus is happening or that MGTOW is a thing.

    [–]WindowToAlaska 9 points10 points  (11 children)

    Yeah well I would just fucking disappear. Fuck that shit.

    [–]PimpDawg 16 points17 points  (4 children)

    And that's how Dave Foley can't go home to Canada ever again.

    [–]Pubic_Lice 8 points9 points  (3 children)

    Who cares? Better than suffering through this shit.

    [–]Mrswhiskers 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    Amazingly some people actually like their kids and want a place in their lives.

    [–]Pubic_Lice 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Uh-huh, especially when you get 3 days a month custody.

    [–]neveragoodtime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I think if it were researched you would find the term dead beat dad was invented to describe dads ordered by the court out of their kids' lives and then ordered to pay money to the woman who kicked him out. I've seen research on dads with greater custody being less likely to default on child support, and it only makes sense the reverse is true.

    [–]fathak 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Met several dudes in the navy who dropped everything and enlisted post divorce just to spite their wives / divorce settlements. ( E1 gets paid next to nothing comparatively )

    [–]BluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I would be in the South Pacific after hopping a freighter and live by cooking fish and coconuts over the fire on the beach before I would accept this guys sentence. This is just punitive and has NOTHING to do with the child or the benefit of the child.

    [–]vicious_armbar 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    If it was that easy to do more people would be doing it.

    [–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Damn that. I'd run away. Change my name, skip countries, and disa-fuckin-peer.

    [–]B_Campbell 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    52K and she isn't even using it for child expenses. He's paying the insurance and school separately. And he's even ok with that. He's just like, "don't drain my kid's college fund."

    [–]1wiseclockcounter 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    and women are the better caretakers? There is a pragmatism required for parenthood and I'm increasingly lead to believe most modern women don't possess that ability.

    [–]baseballbat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    caretakers = babysitters

    caretakers don't = parents

    [–]Noculum 20 points21 points  (17 children)

    She gets double what I make for doing nothing :( This is depressing as fuck

    [–]BlackHeart89 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Well, this is a nice hustle if you're a woman and have no conscience.

    [–]ufaild 11 points12 points  (14 children)

    Work on improving your skills instead of wasting time on reddit. $26k is embarrasing, if you are in the US.

    [–]sweetleef 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    50% of earners make less than $27k. It's neither uncommon nor "embarassing".

    [–]Noculum 10 points11 points  (4 children)

    Just got out of high school dude... And I'm studying to be an Aircraft Maintenance Engineer.

    [–]Ibex3D 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Damn, son! Keep up the good work!

    [–]Noculum 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thanks. Was a bit let down by ufaild's comment but I like to think I'm doing okay. I moved out when I was 17 years old haha, so of course I'm not very well off.

    [–]ufaild 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    OK, then I apologize. Keep learning, man.

    You are already doing better than an average person.

    [–]Noculum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No worries man. You couldn't have known I wasn't 30 years old or something.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      I agree. BEFORE taxes are taken out, I make a little over $26k and I'm working 56 hrs per week, 7 days per week. 26k isn't shit. Just finished an associates degree earlier this year. Which apparently isn't worth shit. So now I'm going back to school. Decided to go to school for the next decade. Even if it means just taking 1 class at a time...

      [–]usul1628 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I figured $25k of it was going to private school, apparently not though

      [–]cyber_rigger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      The way child support should work.

      The child's basic needs should be met, or,

      the kid get put in foster care and BOTH parents pay child support.

      Then the estranged parents would work together.

      [–]vicious_armbar 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Same thing in Florida. They take roughly a third of your pre-tax income and hand it over to the mother as mommy support. Of course you have to pay taxes on that money which drops your take home pay even more.

      [–]TechnoL33T 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      FML, I'd bust my ass for half that.

      [–]ThePedanticCynic 27 points28 points  (1 child)

      I work with finance guys and i hear horror stories like this all the time. Two days ago i learned about a guy who didn't make a whole lot of money (i didn't get numbers, but for these guys that means less than 80K or so) and pumped most of his extra earnings into paying off the mortgage and funding a 529 plan (untaxable education only fund) for his daughter. He was married to a stay-at-home woman.


      Mother gets the house, which is all but paid off since he's been dumping money into it, and she gets the 529 funds. Not the plan, the judge gave her the money from the 529 plan. This fucks him over in two ways: he takes a 10% penalty for withdrawing for non-educational purposes and he is forced to pay taxes on all the money he withdrew. It was a 35k+ fund, all of which he's paying taxes on as he hands it to his ex.

      Oh, but it gets better. Not only is he obviously paying through the nose for child support, but he's also forced to pay half of his daughter's education after having the funds set aside for that raided by his ex; and the kicker is the mother doesn't have to pay the other half.

      Don't ever get married, and never assume the mother cares as much about your children as you do.

      It's not even about the women, though. It's about the system and doing what you can to protect yourself. You wouldn't look down the barrel of a loaded gun, and that's exactly what marriage is. Women are loaded guns.

      [–]1wiseclockcounter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      If she's a loaded gun, I'd have her shoot me so that maybe my death would affect the world more than my pathetic servitude. holy shit that is rough.

      [–]bakbakgoesherthroat 71 points72 points  (24 children)

      Funny thing, that "materialistic whore" is representative of a LOT of women out there right now.

      [–]NoRegretj 98 points99 points  (20 children)

      Literally exact shit my mom did. I had a college fund going. She spent it, all of it.

      [–]beltwaytr 61 points62 points  (5 children)

      Same here. My dad put money away for me when i was little and it all magically disappeared when college time rolled around.

      [–]ubercoolhipsterguy 24 points25 points  (4 children)

      Me 4. I wonder how common this is given it's not something you normally discuss with strangers.

      [–]le_king_falcon 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      Me 5. Bitch got the contents of that account and more in the divorce.

      I believe its probably relatively common since divorce seems to bring the worst out in many women. They are taught to take everything they can, and pushed by lawyers to rake the guys over hot coals. As for collateral damage, I'm not even sure they consider it, nor would they apologise if it was pointed out to them.

      [–]1independentmale 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      Me 6. Ex wife got all of the liquid assets including 401k and daughter's college fund. Walked with six figures cash two years ago. Daughter is now 18 and wants to go to college, her mom "can't afford to help."

      It took me 15 years to save that money. She pissed through most of it within a year.

      [–]IAmTheIlluminatiAMA 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Holy shit. Does your daughter know she squandered it? I didn't find out until my late 20s the reason my mom couldn't afford to help me go to college was because she pissed away all of my college fund she got in the divorce on a bunch of bullshit. I can't forgive her for that but my dad never even told me to not stir shit up. You can bet your ass if my dad pissed it away my mom would've reminded me over and over, though. Shit's just in a woman's nature.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorcocaine_face 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      We're taught to be the honorable sex. That's part of why we're in the predicament that we are.

      [–]ShekelBanker 34 points35 points  (2 children)

      I don't know this feel, but that is just horrible; how deeply ingrained can materialism be in your head to spend all your kid's uni money...

      [–]ThePedanticCynic 26 points27 points  (1 child)

      Women are handed everything on a silver platter in this country. It's like they don't understand that things cost money, and all those free scholarships and grants they get for having a vagina don't apply to men.

      Gauging by what men study and what women study, i'm also willing to bet education is more important to men. College is where men learn, and women find men.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 9 points10 points  (4 children)

      Here's what he should do.

      Empty out the bank account with him/his daughter on it and have a savings account with just his name on it he will give to her when she goes to college or alternatively create a trust fund with the conditions of paying out being the daughter being 18+ and going to college or 21+ and purchasing her own home or some other big life event where she would need that big wad of cash. This way his wife can contribute to the fund but she will never be able to withdraw from the fund.

      If he's paying $50-60k a year in child support he can certainly set up a trust fund.

      [–]baseballbat 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      That would lose a large chunk of the money that was saved up though. So I guess it just depends how bad the situation gets..

      [–]Ibex3D 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Why? I know nothing about this stuff and am actually curious.

      [–]baseballbat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is largely an assumption but if it's an investment account it could have a set amount of time that it would need to sit in their or an "early withdrawal" fee would be tacked on. Or even if it didn't have that it would most likely apply taxes to it (assuming they haven't been already) and lose a sizeable chunk. The longer it has to accrue interest the better and interest works sort of like inertia

      [–]jsalathe 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I just set up a fully funded college fund for both my kids and while my partner (not married, but living together) is listed as a beneficiary in case I die, I am the only signer. Sounds like I should never add her.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      AWALT. Women who aren't materialistic whores simply never had the opportunity.

      Give a chick half a decade with access to opulence and see if she doesn't suddenly raise her bar substantially for her next prospect.

      [–]NeopolitanAfterglow 130 points131 points  (118 children)

      Never marry.

      Never. Ever.

      Not just because of materialistic whores. Mainly because of a parasitic family legal system that is designed to get people married, get them wealthy, and then get them divorced and fighting as long as possible in order to liquidate their assets and pay the salaries of lawyers and judges.

      [–]ilovemyself101 22 points23 points  (2 children)

      What the fuck is red pill coming to? " I personally know... " fuck this shit. You don't know shit. Your pointing To outliers in a graph and saying just because eg an 1/8th of couples make it(let's not talk about which ones are happy/unhappy/faithful) that it's worth and that "it's worth it, if you find the right gal".

      I bet all those guys that are now divorced almost all of them thought "she's a great girl she will never leave/divorce-rape/cheat in me" and yet the divorce rate is 50% with 70%(maybe 80 now) of divorces initiated by women. Would you go skydiving if the rate was 50%? No you'd say "fuck that!" So stop bringing this NAWALT into this SUB and watering down the facts.

      Now read the sidebar

      [–]login_for_no_atheism 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I fucking hate when people say "read the sidebar" on this subreddit. It equates to "don't speak." I've read like 95% of the reading material for theredpill and yet time and time again I'm told to "read the sidebar" for having a differing opinion.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorcocaine_face 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Maybe you should read the sidebar again.

      [–]Lightspeedius 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      In NZ it's moot. If you live with a person for 3 years and don't come to an alternative agreement, you're effectively married as far as most things are concerned. But our laws are a bit more pragmatic when it comes to child support and the like, lawyers and judges don't get to decide, it's all pre-calculated:

      A lot of the crazy things that go down and are discussed here are as much to do with the local legal system as anything else.

      [–]1GRRMkills 8 points9 points  (73 children)

      What happens when you want to have kids and a family though? I feel like never marrying is not practical for people that want that in today's society, and there's not really a better solution out there

      [–]Heuristics 44 points45 points  (0 children)

      You can't get everything you want.

      [–]neveragoodtime 22 points23 points  (17 children)

      What does marriage provide that facilitates having children? There is no benefit to getting married. Find a woman, help her understand that the benefits of marriage are only realized if she divorces you, and you aren't willing to work hard for your family under the threat of her being able to take it all away.

      THE BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE ARE ONLY REALIZED IN DIVORCE. And all those benefits go to the woman.

      Marriage does not make people stay together. If she doesn't realize that, and makes you get married, gives you a couple kids, what's to stop her from changing her mind and divorcing you? How is that different than staying together without marriage? Quality women will realize feminists have destroyed marriage for men. She would not expect you to go through that anymore than cutting off your own balls, and just for her peace of mind?

      I never expected to be raising 3 kids on my own in my thirties. Know why? Because I got married. And I was wrong. Would things be different if we weren't married? Probably not, except I wouldn't have been divorce raped.

      [–]smokingmonkey420 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      That's the catch of the whole thing. Any chick worth marrying wouldn't put you through it.

      [–]1GRRMkills 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Thanks for sharing, I appreciate the advice

      the benefits of marriage are only realized if she divorces you, and you aren't willing to work hard for your family under the threat of her being able to take it all away

      This line is golden

      [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (14 children)

      There is a business I've found to go to foreign countries and get women to birth your children. In those countries they don't have the ability to 'change' their mind after the kid is born and steal your life away from you so they can raise the kid with your money. I'm still researching it but I'm thinking that this is how I can have a kid in a few years. $20k for everything plus living there for a year until my child comes home with me.

      [–]2 Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      $20K? Try $10K in Bangkok. There was a Japanese guy who fathered sixteen children via this method. He was questioned by the police but I think he didn't break the law. Anyway, once the kid is born they can't kill them so you successfully passed on your genes. Ahhh here it is. Everything strange you have ever thought of (and some things you haven't) happen here in the 'kok.

      [–]greencrack 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Interesting, I can already see a Vice type documentary in a couple years about this

      [–]zareason 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Lebanon! Here men get to keep the kid.

      [–]the99percent1 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      Laws will be quickly enacted to prevent this. Take note..

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Yes. Maybe I should move away. Flee this tyranny against men. But how will I see my son? I mean he's not my bio son but he is my son.

      He will grow up in chaos. Feminine chaos. You guys who don't have children to protect. Move away. Maybe you can flee this insanity. I can't. I have to fight the FI here. Now I have to. For him.

      [–]1wiseclockcounter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      you talk like a supehero. who's your arch nemesis btw?

      [–]rebuildingMyself 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Or will simply weaponize the women involved by letting them abort it and keep the money, claim child support, etc

      [–]clam61 4 points5 points  (6 children)

      Please let us know more information or maybe a post. This would be a great solution for me and many others

      [–]3 Endorsed ContributorF9R 5 points6 points  (5 children)

      Yeah I would cherish the fuck out of a foreign woman for a year if she gave me a kid in exchange. I would have no problem going all out and buying her things, all that beta bucks provider stuff if it's only for a year instead of life.

      Seems like a sweet deal; I get a kid, she gets to live luxuriously for a year or so, and then we go our separate ways and I get to forge that kid into a man and watch him eventually surpass me and carry on the torch. Now that right there is something I can get behind 100%. There's still the risk of having a daughter though. Nothing against daughters, but I'm not a fan of the single father/daughter dynamic. The accusatory stares, awkwardness of trying to relate to her feminine issues, and persistent worrying about the three and a half billion dicks in the world would be too much of a hassle.

      Fuck it, I might just adopt a son. There are plenty of boys out there who could use a new start. Plus, if they're 5-7ish then they've been around long enough to know hardship but they're still young enough to mature if given the right opportunities... that's the recipe for success right there.

      [–]Yozki 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      5 years old is more than enough time for permanent damage to set in. They've already formed some personality and character traits that'll haunt them for life.

      [–]3 Endorsed ContributorF9R 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Yeah, could be. I'm not a child psychologist, but it's definitely something I would look into before actually adopting a kid. I'd imagine there's some ideal age. Maybe not.

      [–]BhiQ 17 points18 points  (30 children)

      Except living together, having kids together and simply not marrying?

      [–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 14 points15 points  (6 children)

      Then you get hit with 'commonlaw marriage' after a certain point of cohabitation as a couple. This is why you shouldn't have your plates actually living with you.

      [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 11 points12 points  (4 children)

      Only a few states recognize common law marriages, and each has specific stipulations as to what relationships are included: Alabama. Colorado. District of Columbia. Georgia (if created before 1/1/97) Idaho (if created before 1/1/96) Iowa. Kansas. Montana.

      [–]Philhelm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      At least in most U.S. states that I am aware of, common-law marriage requires that the couple hold themselves out as married; simple cohabitation for X amount of time does not suffice.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      If you live in a non-commonlaw state, offer to do a wedding ceremony, honeymoon, all that fun stuff. Just don't sign the papers. If she puts up resistance, guilt her for treating a signed document as more important than love.

      If you live in a commonlaw state (or country), you're essentially fucked. If you're young, highly consider moving. Once you're established there's no way out, and your odds of fucking up your life skyrocket.

      [–]1sailorJery 2 points3 points  (21 children)

      but what quality woman is going to have kids with you without commitment on your end?

      [–]NeopolitanAfterglow 27 points28 points  (8 children)

      How quality can a woman be if she equates "commitment" with "exposing the family fortune to state confiscation"?

      [–]WindowToAlaska 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      Too bad that's the way society is set up now. She can understand that or fuck off.

      [–]thebalrog_ofmorgoth 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      well if women's biological imperative is to get commitment from men, just as our biological imperative is to get sex, it's only logical for a quality woman to look out for her best interests. I wouldn't want my sister to be with a guy who had no intention of marrying her. no matter how reasonable his response, like the two above, is.

      [–]gensyms 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      What happens when you want to have kids and a family though?

      Then you need to work towards reforming our broken system -- because as it is, that quality woman will be presented with a perverse incentive to divorce-rape you.

      She'll be presented with that perverse incentive every day of her life. Will she succumb? It's a little worse than 50/50.

      Would you go skydiving if your chances of survival were less than 50%?

      If your parachute doesn't open you'll still have an awesome skydive! And it'll only hurt for a second when you bounce.

      Whereas the results of getting divorce-raped last for a couple decades. To put that in perspective, the Grateful Dead were still on tour two decades ago.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Best case scenario is 75-80% success rate (virgin bride or just riding your dick before marriage).

      Though I suspect the numbers maybe skewed towards a lower number even if you check more recent data points or exclude marriages that have surpassed the 14 year mark (which seems to be the point where divorce rate drops down to below 10%).

      [–]vicious_armbar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Who says that you need to get married to have kids and a family? You don't get any additional rights to your children, or additional legal protections by getting married. So why give her additional leverage over you? If you get married you'll expose yourself to the risk of losing half of your shit; as well as paying alimony. It's bad enough that you'll be paying her 1/3rd of your paycheck in child support if she decides to leave. Why make it worse?

      [–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points  (4 children)

      Why do you need to be married in order to raise a kid together??? People live together with children unmarried all the time. No need to get a government contract to support it.

      [–]HahahahaWaitWhat 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      This is about child support, which you'd be on the hook for whether you're married or not.

      The only answer is a vasectomy.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Or the Bobba Fett option...

      Egg Donor + You + Surrogate = Offspring that no female has a claim on over you.

      Assuming you want offspring.

      [–]HahahahaWaitWhat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      This could be an option if you're set on having a kid but don't forget that plenty of social workers, cops, family court "judges" and god only knows who else still has claim.

      [–]Icecoffee965 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Aren't there any countries or regions in which you can safely hide your assets, without the risk of US lawyers or courts having the power to take those offshore assets from you?

      [–]vicious_armbar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      If someone is rich enough for this to be an option for them, then they wouldn't be asking strangers on reddit about it in the first place. Also Alimony/Child Support isn't based on your assets. It's based on your past earnings.

      If you stop paying the judge holds in you contempt and jails you. Since you're being held in civil contempt you have no right to a lawyer or trial by a jury of your peers. Meanwhile you're still liable for any vagimony/mommy-support payments you haven't made; as well as any interest they assess.

      If you don't want to deal with this nightmare; then don't get married or have kids. In the meantime work to reform the system. Here's a good place to start:

      [–]unpluggedoasis 24 points25 points  (3 children)

      About to go lift. Just found some anger for motivation. Genuine guy trying to look out for his daughter. Too bad she will most likely be greatly influenced by her mother and turn out just like her.

      [–]Dark triad expert: - - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      It's a vicious fucking cycle. Courts should do what is best for the kid, not the feminist ideology/the corrupt family court system that take a commission of child support payments.

      [–]usul1628 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Even if they do what's best for the kid, all the professionals involved get their $200/hour to deal with bullshit

      [–]1 Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I see some light there, since he said, that he spends equal time with his daughter.

      I mostly see my daughter on the weekends and in the school holidays, and yet still I am a great influence on her.

      [–]Baylien2 11 points12 points  (9 children)

      Why would you need 52k in child support? This is a topic that needs its own thread but kids do not cost that fucking much.

      [–]boinko03 14 points15 points  (3 children)

      And private school, which is between 18k and 40k,and he has her health benefits. Hes paying between 80k and 120k for his daughter, and instead of praising her ex for being dad of the year, she's extorting him

      [–]colovick 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      But he's old meat. Nothing left there for her but money and a babysitter... I hate people like her with a burning passion.

      [–]BlackHeart89 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Now I understand why husbands try to murder their ex-wives. I'm not condoning it. But shit like that can cause a man to lose his mind...

      [–]BluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Can't believe it doesn't happen more often.

      [–]neveragoodtime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Greed. And boob jobs. You see, women understand that if they are happy, their kids are happy. Happy wife, happy life, right? So instead of trying to please others, they just go straight to their own self interest. They have invented a form of altruistic selfishness.

      I shit you not this is the rationale my ex gave me for needing a boob job. "if I'm happier, the kids will be happier."

      [–]DoubleGSpot 35 points36 points  (2 children)

      Every time I feel a twinge of sadness start to creep in while while cleaning my Fleshlight I'll think of this story and continue to scrub the fucker out with renewed vigor.

      [–]Listen_up_buddy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      This made me laugh more than it should, lool!

      [–]juanqunt 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Makes me rage how feminism is always so anti-children's rights. These toxic women want to have all the advantages of being children and adults and end up bullying/taking advantage of the real children.

      The father seems like a good father, but the mother is a demon.

      [–]pchiodo 12 points13 points  (12 children)

      I'm not normally the one saying "never marry", but damn. If you must marry, stay far away from materialistic whores like that guy's exwife. DON'T

      FTFY - I was married for 10 years, no kids, no sex, and she was an emotional basket case, and she could never hold a job more than 6 months.

      Divorced her, and still paying alimony. I have 3 payments left, and then I'm done. Can't believe this has cost me $36K just in alimony. And for what??? We don't even have kids??? But, because she is irresponsible, can't hold a job, and I can, and I'm a guy, I have to pay.


      [–]ShekelBanker 10 points11 points  (6 children)

      Just what kind of low human being can you be to sue for your kid's college money, just because it sits with another parent?

      She can't and won't access it, she has no legal right to it whatsoever because her name is non-existent on the any paper about that account.

      [–]gensyms 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      Never underestimate the reach of Family Court.

      [–]Newdist2[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Just what kind of low human being can you be to sue for your kid's college money, just because it sits with another parent?

      It's OK, because the fund is more than enough to send the kid to college. And if she spends a bit too much, the man has another 10-11 years to fill the account back up.

      [–]Anon59538327 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Just what kind of low human being can you be to sue for your kid's college money, just because it sits with another parent?

      Plus the money was earned and still belongs to that other person!

      The most upsetting thing to me is that even girls or women that seem very reasonable and are definitely not anywhere near the leach type get crazy ideas of entitlement. A friend that is still married to her husband but they live apart recently told me her thoughts and I was thoroughly shocked! She felt entitled to a part of his paycheck after they divorce because she has to pay more taxes when she's not married. No kids no nothing! Wth? Why? She received a stern talking-to and I hope she realized how fucked up this is.

      The sad part is the law is probably on her side for whatever reason.

      [–]dixieStates 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Never marry. Got that? Never, never marry.

      [–]Dubiousxy 14 points15 points  (6 children)

      Time to make that investment account disappear.

      [–]fiat_lux_ 9 points10 points  (5 children)

      From what he has written, it sounds like the money is mostly set up for her future college costs. In that case, the investment firm he's using likely has advised him to take advantage of a 529, which tax-shelters the account.

      Pulling from a 529 early has financial consequences:

      [–]WindowToAlaska 8 points9 points  (4 children)

      Pull all the money, quit job, liquidate assets, write a letter explaining to daughter the whole situation and have her receive it on her 18th birthday, and leave the fucking country and start a new life somewhere.

      [–]Newdist2[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      Let's not go crazy here, the guy is loaded. Yes, the divorce theft is unjust as hell, but his situation is nothing like the guys who end up eating ramen because taxes and the support payment leave them with $500/month to live on.

      [–]WindowToAlaska 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      The entire point is to not give that cunt any money.

      [–]1redpillbanana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      If he's loaded, he's in all the better situation to leave the country and live off his savings.

      [–]ufaild 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      That sounds way worse than giving 30% of after tax money away.

      [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Get a GOOD lawyer and fight it. I'd rather the spend the money on a lawyer than a cunt.

      [–]closetothesilence 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      This makes me sick... especially since I only make 42k a year.

      [–]ThePedanticCynic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Should have been born with a vagina. Hindsight is 20/20.

      [–]mstersmith 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      I would ghost. Liquidate all assets and fuck her and the kid. God damn it I am angry now.

      [–]AmazonExplorer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I'd take my money and move to another country. I have dual citizenship, possibly in the future 3. This way I can easily move to a new country with my money and start a new life.

      [–]profeyn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Never getting married ever.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]GhostOfAladdin 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        52,000 is a pay rate of about 82k per year. What a salary!

        [–]colovick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        He's also paying 18-42k in private school, and carrying her insurance and setting up her college fund... He's probably making 400k+ to fund that kind of life... Either that or making 200k and living off very little.

        [–]DurkaDerper 4 points5 points  (4 children)

        I have two thinks to say:

        She is a massive cunt

        And to repeat the phase every man should know, Never. Get. Married. She. Will. End. You.

        [–]pchiodo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        This makes a strong case for getting fixed - Early

        [–]2asd1100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        The ex has a new boyfriend, also rich, whom she lives with rent-free.

        and that's all I need to know, she is toxic, she does this for a leaving. You fucked up by thinking you can take her one now you live with it like you would with a chronic illness. Do not try to bargain, do not complain, find a way to isolate yourself for the toxicity. YOu can not do this unfortunately for you daughter. It's not the lack of college that will fuck her up, it's living with a radioactive person who she will will emulate.

        [–]Vargolol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        So she believes that there is way more money than necessary in the account and that it should be spent on my daughter now rather than later.

        Somebody never learned how to save money. This is a savings account for this woman's daughter. She is only harming her daughter by trying to access it, not her husband. Of all the dumb fucking places to desire to take money from, your child's college fund is one of the last places to look. Even if the child doesn't spend it all on college, since it is the account her father made for her, the extra money might just end up in her pocket later in life, giving the daughter a financial base in life, something she just might not have if her mother has any say in it.

        I don't usually do more than just lurk here, but damn, this is pure stupidity.

        [–]Austinthelamp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I'm 20. After finding this sub I have decided not to get married after swallowing the pill hard and working out often and striving to get better. The thing is I still want a meaningful relationship, I still want kids eventually, I just dont see how I would be able to get this without marriage, I am new to red pill so maybe I just need to get stronger (mentally) and more confident.

        [–]1independentmale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        If you must marry, stay far away from materialistic whores like that guy's exwife.

        They're all materialistic whores when it comes time to split up. As soon as it's clear to her that the relationship is over, women become incredibly vengeful and will do everything they can to ruin you out of spite. This usually involves as much financial ruin as she can rain down on you because, let's face it, most men are incredibly attached to their financial success to the point where it defines who they are. If she can take you out of that house on the hill and put you in a shitty apartment while getting herself a boat load of money, you bet your ass she's going to do it.

        [–]pupupow 7 points8 points  (3 children)

        I'd probably kill my wife if she did that to me, I don't understand why men are such pussies.

        [–]AmazonExplorer 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Moving away with the money would be a better option. Atleast that way you can start a new life. Consider only murder if you cannot stand your child is being indoctrinated by an evil woman.

        [–]raouldukeesq 1 point2 points  (4 children)

        This is a silly story. In all likelihood the account is an UTMA account. This means that neither parent can take legally take dime one out of the account. Secondly, there is no way the judge is going to allow the wife access to the funds in the account for any purpose. Never going to happen.

        [–]dherik 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Never say never family court judges are retarded.

        [–]notmyuglyside 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Not true. As the custodian of my daughter's UTMA account I can take money out of the account any time I want. However I am legally restricted from using the money on anything but her. I will never withdraw the money, but I did once before to move it to a Vanguard UTMA account because I was unhappy with ING.

        [–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This story alone is reason enough not to ever get married. And yet we still have people here trying to defend it. Its an unnecessary risk with nothing to gain but everything to lose.

        [–]ComteDeSaintGermain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        When I met my wife, she did all her clothes shopping at Walmart, never spent more than $25 on anything, even shoes. Grew up in a poor family with 9 kids. She is the least materialistic person I know, and is a definite keeper.

        [–]Nebulose11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The first thing he needs to do is relabel this whore in his head.

        He calls her Ex-Wife and then My Wife interchangeably. Like she still has 'love' for him. She loves his money.

        I bet that she is late 20s looking at that big Three Zero coming her way. Or, if she is older, realizing she needs that money, immediately, to pay the plastic surgeon.


        Edit: How did she find out about the account let alone about how much was in there. This dude fucked up, enormously, at some point.

        Never tell women or children anything about money except - Yes or No. The basic question is the same from both: Buy me this?

        [–]yeahweewee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Thank you international suragacy, by the time i want kids, i can have 100% parental rights to a child of my genetics plus the perfect donar