all 188 comments

[–]1Goomich 268 points269 points  (21 children)

They don't know better. They can sit on their asses be themselfs and still get dicks. Therefore it's great strategy.

[–]1003rp 119 points120 points  (2 children)

They want you to be yourself, but they want "yourself" to be alpha. If you be yourself and that is to be beta, even better so she can know to avoid you.

[–]LateralThinkerer 29 points30 points  (0 children)

This. They just want your persona to be transparent so they can filter. Why should they work at that either?

Also, the last metaphor in the post is a classic.

[–]SwissPablo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If just looking at a man and smiling wasn't easy enough to get a man's attention, "just be yourself" helps make it even easier.

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorHumanSockPuppet 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Exactly. Most women don't realize that they're giving great advice in service to themselves.

"Just be yourself."

Women earnestly believe that this is good advice, because men who attract them seem to do so naturally.

What's more: men who aren't attractive when they're acting their natural selves (supplicative, weak, asking permission, etc.) effectively filter themselves out.

It's such an effective and passive screening strategy that it has become an idiom that women repeat without any awareness of the social mechanisms which propel it.

[–]Stand_Your_Ground_ 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I think something very important we can take away from this is, if you are not naturally predisposed to alpha behavior, you have to make it look natural or instinctive. This ties in well with the law of power "make your accomplishments seem effortless". It has to be YOU.

Any other man would have to struggle and fight to be jacked or successful, (and while you put in the effort) you make it seem effortless in order to come across as the real thing, the real alpha. Just being yourself.

[–]siegristrm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't fake it then, become the real alpha...

[–]1johnnight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It means that you have to be Alpha effortlessly.

Everything else looks fake and fake is a turn-off.

[–]Endorsed ContributortrpSenator 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Every time I bring this up outside the sub, I will get responses like, "Well I'm a female and I can't just spread my legs and get laid." Well, yeah, if you are actually unable to easily get laid, chances are you are fat as fuck. But even then, some other fat dude would love to rail fat chicks, but those fat chicks only want to spread their legs for Ryan Gosling types.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 41 points42 points  (10 children)

They do know better. There was an AskReddit thread like 2 days ago where women were actually admitting that having a low SMV man hit on them was insulting. They want to be able to weed out low SMV men, and not get "tricked" into giving up their pussy power to the wrong dude. If a low SMV man acts like a low SMV man, he's very easy to spot and avoid.

[–]ThePillIsRed 57 points58 points  (9 children)

I think you're reading too much in it.

Sure, a couple of women out of 1000 might actually know that "just be yourself" doesn't work. And usually they have successfull relationships with alphas.

The other 998? Perhaps it's a unconscious shit test, but i highly doubt that they have meetings at night in which they decide to give bad advide to betas.

It's more likely that they just can't understand what a man has to do to be attractive.

There are many 30yo male virgins. 30yo women virgins? I've never heard of a single one. Even the fattest woman can get a fuck from a thirsty omega. She just has to be herself, and a dick will come.

So they think it's the same for men, and their advice it's what they would say to a fattie.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

It DOES work, though. From their point of view. Which is what I'm trying to say. I don't think it has to be an actual conspiracy for women to just sort of vaguely understand the concept on a subconscious level.

[–]Scott555 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Gotta take it a step further. What if it's even more instinctive than subconsciously understood?

We are applying choice to this behavior after the fact, as if there's some strategic value for women in convincing men of this.

But the sentiment reflected in those three little words (just be yourself) could very well be far more base and instinctive on the female's part; for the reasons already well-documented elsewhere, such as making betas easier to identify, for instance.

[–]elrayem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

instinctively they know the "game" is easier if the men don't know the rules.

would bambi recommend time at the gun range?

[–]ProductivityMonster 3 points4 points  (2 children)

if you mostly deal with smarter women on a daily basis, that whole Hanlon's Razor thing goes out the door.

[–]trp222 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It's more likely to be laziness than anything. They'll give advice like "be hygenic" and "take care of your life (get money)" but won't explain the rationale behind it because they don't understand it themselves. Women only can understand TRP at a cursory level because it doesn't benefit them to understand it.

[–]mscleverclocks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not just that. They give the "be yourself" advice because they apply it to themselves.

"If a guy doesn't like that I'm fat, bitchy, and dress like a man, then he's misogynist." Those kind of women don't want to improve. They don't want to take care of themselves, learn to dress better, learn to cook or anything else to boost their SMV. And then they whine and play victim when alpha men want nothing to do with them. "He's such an asshole, he should love me just the way I am. I'm not changing for anybody!"

[–]GC0W30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are many 30yo male virgins. 30yo women virgins? I've never heard of a single one.

My female live-in LTR is friends with one.

Nice girl. Super-batshit crazy. Sees demons and hears voices if she doesn't take her psychiatrist-prescribed medications.

Hasn't fucked because her anxiety is triggered by thoughts of STDs, pregnancy and runaway feels.

Probably won't. I'm actually happy she has chosen celibacy, as there's no way she could be a good mom, wife or girlfriend.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's not self-serving, it's Solipsistic. It just happens to also be a great way for them to filter out losers from high SMV men but that's not the reason they're giving that advice they're giving that advice because it works for them so they think it should work for everybody.

[–]Upvote Me!trpbot[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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[–]sagginpus 71 points72 points  (11 children)

I don't think its so subversive... Women don't know why they are attracted to men, they only know when one gives them the feels. When a woman can tell that a guy is pretending to be something he isn't in order to impress her, it's a huge turn off since to do so means that his SMV is lower than what she "deserves." This advice to be yourself is in fact a reaffirmation that the type of guy who is attractive is one who doesn't have to work for a woman's affections, a self confident alpha.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 28 points29 points  (4 children)

But the self-confident alpha is never the one asking on Reddit how to attract women. So it's literally useless advice for anyone who does (aka the betas)

[–]sagginpus -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

Well you're on reddit aren't you?

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

There's nothing wrong with being on Reddit. There's everything wrong with thinking any of the /r/ask subreddits will give you good advice.

[–]Kewl_Kid 1 point2 points  (1 child)

does that include r/asktrp?

[–]antariusz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, it includes /r/asktrp

The point of that sub is to make sure you never have to visit again.

It's like the shadowbanned bot subs, All you need to do is post once, and hopefully never again.

[–]Cryocasm 13 points14 points  (5 children)

Women don't know why they are attracted to men

I don't think women know anything tangible about anything in this universe. Science has proven that their cognitive dissonance is so powerful that women cannot even decide what turns them on or not.

I wonder what the advantage is of evolving a non-logic based thinking pattern.

[–]TheLife_ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Survival instinct. Make them afraid of the world so they find the most alpha male to hide behind and be protected by.

...I was just tooling, but that actually makes a measure of sense. It's like 3am and I'm 8 hours into a 12 hour shift, so this could be subject to change after sleep.

[–]beerthroway 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Women don't have the physical power of a man. They evolved psychological abilities and with such came the ability to accept their present situation as reality, regardless of the past. The book War Brides talks about this. I haven't read it but Rollo talks about it a lot.

It's not just that women don't know what turns them on outside of a situation (lack of self awareness). It's also that the same thing could turn them on or repulse them based on context. Hot, fun guy + BDSM = "oh wow I didn't know I loved BDSM so much!" Vs beta bitch trying it = "that was just awkward and painful!".

They don't HAVE to decide what turns them on. They merely respond based on the situation.

[–]killcat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex is risk/vulnerability so to ensure the continuation of the species we have evolved such that arousal shuts down a woman's higher reasoning. So when a woman is turned on she loses the capacity for rational thought, thus allowing herself to be "at risk". That means she cannot rationally determine what turns her on, because once shes turned on thought goes out the window. Also a lot of woman have hang ups over what turns them on, so they "don't know" (aren't willing to admit). A "friend" of mine couldn't understand why I could get her wetter by talking to her for 10min on the phone than her BB could in the same room.

[–]sagginpus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From an evolutionary perspective, women have been the caretakers of the young. They had the need to be more emotionally tuned in to understand the needs of the young, even going back to a point of human evolution prior to when we had higher levels of intelligent communication. It would be an interesting discussion to dive into how developing that caretaker need may conflict with logical thinking needs.

[–]through_a_ways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Science has proven that their cognitive dissonance is so powerful that women cannot even decide what turns them on or not.

"Women get off to rhinoceros sex"

- Ogi Ogas

[–]∞ Red Pill VisionaryRollo-Tomassi 17 points18 points  (12 children)

JBY is an operative social convention that aids hypergamy.

Women are only too happy to endorse and reinforce JBY for the conscious reasoning that it ‘sounds like the right thing to say’. It’s an unassailable position; who wouldn’t want you to be you? If what counts is all on the inside then anyone telling you to change MUST be manipulating you for their own selfish reasons. This dovetails nicely into the popularized fat-acceptance self-acceptance mantra most women will fall back on when the impact of the Wall begins to manifest itself in their physiques and they want to be loved for “who they are” rather than what they used to look like. However, on a subconscious level, the latent purpose of fostering the JBY social convention in men is yet another sexual selection filtering mechanism. Actually it’s more of a filtering failsafe in that by socially mandating a genuineness in the general populace of men, women are more secure in the accuracy of their sexual assessment of men. If all men are Just Being Themselves and are encouraged to be the person they ‘truly are’, this then aids a woman in determining which man will best satisfy her hypergamy.

As I’ve stated in many a prior post, women claim to want honesty from men, but no woman wants full disclosure. In a general sense I advise this because it serves to sustain a Man’s aura of mystery, only to be progressively discovered by women with the appropriate levels of interest and responsiveness to men. However, another reason to remain deliberately ambiguous is to defuse the JBY dynamic that women assume would be a man’s default psychology.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Glad to see Rollo is backing me up on this one.

[–]MyNewAccount9 3 points4 points  (10 children)

Rollo, Here's another angle on this:

They are (intentionally or not) begging men to act masculine.

Perhaps they instinctively know the nice guy wimpy shit is just not natural. It feels icky and gross to them and turns them off.

Being ourselves means

  • being natural and masculine,

  • enjoying being men,

  • enjoying being strong, enjoying physicality

  • not pretending to give a shit when we really don't,

  • not putting up with stuff we don't like,

  • being at least somewhat selfish, aloof, arrogant, reckless, rough

It takes very little effort to act like this, it feels natural. It feels way more like "myself" than any of the nice guy wimpy persona. As it turns out, these are also some of the masculine behaviors women crave.

Maybe that's what they're begging for when they say "be yourself," whether they know it or not.

Maybe they are confessing: "It is weird, confusing and unattractive when men act like not men."

I don't understand why any man who hears the advice "be yourself" would conclude "okay i'm gonna act like the opposite of a man."

Maybe JBY really means "Act like a man" -- whether they are fully conscious of this or not.

[–]juanqunt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you're on to something. I believe that being alpha is being yourself: the natural state where men are meant to be. Beta = social conditioning, and TRP is unschooling yourself from all the BS. So really TRP is about finding yourself in a way.

I think "Just be yourself" is not actually real advice. It's just admitting that they prefer "natural" alphas.

[–]unsuckable9335 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Perhaps they instinctively know the nice guy wimpy shit is just not natural. It feels icky and gross to them and turns them off.

Seems like a giant extrapolation.

[–]MyNewAccount9 1 point2 points  (3 children)

fits the evidence

but dont make it theoretical, run some trials

[–]unsuckable9335 1 point2 points  (2 children)

fits the evidence that women are self-aware enough to know what attracts them ("just be yourself", which really means be alpha)? I think not. Women don't even know what alpha is. If you asked a women if she liked "alpha" men she would reject the idea and say she likes nice guys. She would not be lying. She thinks she likes nice guys but her animal subconscious, which evolved to be that way over hundreds of thousands of years, says otherwise.

[–]MyNewAccount9 0 points1 point  (1 child)

did you read the comment? How many times did I say this is not a fully conscious process?


she would reject the idea and say she likes nice guys

When was the last time you heard a real live woman say she thinks "nice" is sexy. I dont think I've ever heard that. (then again, i dont ask women how to get laid)

[–]unsuckable9335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When was the last time you heard a real live woman say she thinks "nice" is sexy. I dont think I've ever heard that. (then again, i dont ask women how to get laid)

Just about every single one. That's the conventional wisdom and that's the stereotype: women say they like guys but actually like assholes.

[–]1Zackcid 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It takes very little effort to act like this, it feels natural.

Nice overall perspective, but I'd disagree with this part. You're explaining this through the lens of somebody who probably isn't a beta bitch. Depending on how my life is going on any given day, how I behave will always feel natural to who I became. RIGHT NOW, since I've been lifting, eating well, and just killing it in general, behaving like a cocky mawfucker is so fucking easy and natural, i can't believe i wasn't this way before.

On the other hand, tell me to behave "alpha" 3 months ago, or 3 years ago, I wouldn't be able to. You can't fake "Breaking Rapport" tonality in your voice. You can't fake being reckless when you're feeling like a beta.

[–]MyNewAccount9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good points.

I agree that habit and even mood can play a huge role in who we think we are.

[–]shapb 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well i think it is the polite form of saying: "just have some balls"

[–]NeopolitanAfterglow 34 points35 points  (4 children)

I think there's a nugget of truth in what these women say even though I doubt any of them realize it. Most guys with personality problems are really not themselves. Their personality in their head (their actual selves) is completely different than what comes out due to filters and inhibitions.

[–]OblongShlong 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I agree. A lot of guys are nervous around women and it shows. If you acted with the same confidence around her as you would with say... your best friend, you'll come off more naturally which is attractive to her. That's what she means when she says "just be yourself".

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's good advice if you aren't a complete fuck up. But either way its very self serving for women none the less.

[–]seattleron 31 points32 points  (7 children)

When a woman says this, I think she's being honest, but again we men take everything at face value and think if someone says something that's what they mean, because we don't beat around the bush. We're matter of fact. They're talking from emotion. Think emotionally, as hard as it is. What does "be yourself" really mean when a woman is saying it? What, emotionally, would motivate her to say that?

Think of it this way: in the context of the question it's coming from a relationship/sex angle. So, what gets a woman's panties wet? A man. A real man. A masculine man. So, when she says, "just be yourself," she means you at your core. At your core you're a man, with functioning testicles, act like it. It does not mean to be a motherfucker, it means to just be a man, and a man gives zero fucks about what a woman thinks of his passions. Do the things you love to do and be passionate about them, and give zero fucks about appeasing her, she WANTS THIS.

  • When you're horny and getting your girl in the mood, grab your girlfriend, pick her up, and throw her on the bed like you really want to do. I had a chick over the weekend say that she wishes she could find a lumberjack that would go in her back yard, chop wood for an hour, then come in the house and fuck her hard afterwards. They get off on that shit! Get it through your head, you've been lied to by movies, TV, and magazines your whole life. Why? Because those are run by women, gay men, and feminists!

  • Buy a truck instead of that fuel efficient Prius. You don't ALWAYS have to be practical for fuck's sake.

  • Get pissed while watching the game and punch the coffee table and if she gives you shit about it, tell her if she doesn't like it, GTFO. She won't leave, because when she yells at you for having a passion for something like that that she's being ridiculous. It would be like you yelling at her for crying while watching The Notebook.

  • Lift heavy things for the rest of your life!

  • Love on her when she's made you a good meal or being sweet, and put her in her place when she's overstepping lines.

  • Fix shit around the house.

  • Buy a motorcycle instead of video game systems and silly collectibles.

  • Be yourself, think deeply about the things you love to do and how you wish you'd have acted in the past and internalize that shit.

When a woman says, "just be yourself" think of it from an emotional level, not a beta, pussy, faggot level. She is not saying: be the nice guy who repels me and acts like a woman, she's saying two things:

1.) Be masculine in whatever way you love to be masculine.

2.) Do not care what I think about your masculinity. I will give you shit about it because I want to feel protected and to feel protected and turned on I need to test you to see if you're a real man. It's in my nature to do so and I've had so many men act like women that I want to make sure you're not one of those deep down, so I want you to just be yourself.

[–]variableLt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I was scrolling down to see if voice of truth will finally pop up and here it is. You are exactly spot on.

Answer: "Be yourself" usually comes after the questions: "How should I dress on a first date or should I do bla, bla bla for this woman?" are asked to female friends. What they do know, and those asking don't, is that all the initial frame you used to attract this woman at the first place is exactly the thing you should continue on doing in order to get somewhere.

Be yourself. Behave like you behaved when you successfully seduced her. Be that man she is waiting for and don't change yourself into a submissive slave she hates.

[–]unsuckable9335 1 point2 points  (2 children)

But what woman could articulate what you've just articulated? What you've done is extrapolate "be yourself" to mean what it should mean, if it were actually good advice. This is not what women actually intend it to mean - it's the rationally construed meaning of the phrase as told by a man.

Sorry gents, I know you want to believe it, but when it comes to sexual strategy, women do not have your best interest at heart unless you are a natural alpha male (top 20%).

[–]seattleron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Disagree. Ask any woman what I wrote and if she's being honest she agrees 100%. Could they articulate it? No, because they don't know how to say what they want in life, they only know how to feel it, and by how, I mean it's in their nature. But make no mistake, it's 100% accurate.

[–]Acx3 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

From this context....You have to do what they don't want to give them what they want.

[–]edwardhwhite 8 points9 points  (0 children)

its solipcism. they want to think of themselves as being fair and normal and giving everyone a chance. But their systems of attraction work differently.

[–]1SelfishStoic 10 points11 points  (6 children)

I posted this before but:

What a lot of people don't realize about this advice is that it is in fact true. It's just that you aren't really a man in the eyes of the people saying it unless you are already "alpha". So really being alpha is a pre-req for be yourself. Its not a lie, its just not helpful.

Women are only really concerned with alpha men. Beta men just arn't in their reality,at-least not as men, more like tools to fix cars, homes, computers and as financial vehicles. Just like ugly women are not considered women in my mind; they are just kinda there. Unfortunately ugly women bring nothing to the table tho as far as being a tool for men.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. its good advice if you have already arrived or you are already on your way. But its terrible advice if you are the type of person asking women for hints, because that means you've already lost.

[–]unsuckable9335 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I think it's an unfair comparison because ugly women still have sexual value. With guys on the other hand, even average-looking isn't enough to give you sexual value.

[–]1SelfishStoic 2 points3 points  (3 children)

A woman values resources and strength and uses sex to get it. A man values sex and uses resources and strength to get it. I'm not saying women don't enjoy sex. Just that for women, as dave chappelle said, "their test in life is material" where as guys "test" is sex.

Edit: the point is this is not a double standard. Ugly girls suffer the same fate as beta men. There really are no double standards in life, only shallow analysis.

[–]unsuckable9335 0 points1 point  (2 children)

but you're ignoring hypergamy.

yes, women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Both genders wants both - sex and a relationship - and both genders trade one for the other. However, with hypergamy, women aren't even looking at 80% of men, especially if they are pre-wall. Those 80% of men are completely invisible for relationships or sex. The only exception is post-wall beta provider hunters.

[–]1SelfishStoic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Exactly. And the fact of the matter and the way markets work says that the post wall woman (Now low value) is equal to the beta provider (Always low value). Fair is fair, and the markets work. We are just mad no one let us know about markets. But there is nothing wrong with them. This lack of knowledge of markets upheld by liberalism and feminism is what led men to over value the pussy and undervalue the dick. Ultimately the market price makes sense, but we could be much better as a whole if we knew about markets and acted accordingly. Markets always adapt.

[–]unsuckable9335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's true, and although there seems to be massive inequality for a young man, the logic is that the inequality becomes lesser and lesser as you age. That's comforting to know, but it's against everything that your taught. It's also against the idea that the 20s are the best time of your life. That's really only true for women in the modern era.

The average man eats shit until his SMV becomes in range with the SMV of females his age (around 30-40).

[–]Shriibee 4 points5 points  (4 children)

IRL from my very female heavy friends circle in highschool (so much friend zone it overlapped in places) the advice was ver batum what you said. Being yourself after being raised by women and the media to be beta, means 'keep being beta'- which confuses me because men, or even boys don't want to be beta in nature, and women don't want betas, they want Alphas? Just goes to show not to take dating advice from women, it's like taking hunting advice from your prey.

[–]M3_Drifter 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's a test to see who you really are. Self-confident alphas don't do as they're told. They do whatever the fuck they want.

[–]unsuckable9335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's not a test they create on the conscious level but more of a test spawned from the cultural zeitigiest of political correctness. "Just be yourself" is a politically correct way to tell a man how to be attractive. It also, coincidentally, improves female sexual strategy which, by nature, is counteractive to male sexual strategy. So in short: do not listen to female advice, they are hard-wired to get the best results for themselves, not for you.

[–]LegitAnswers 12 points13 points  (1 child)

It's largely "projection". Women don't have to work hard to attract men. Just look good, don't be a bitch, and you're good to go. Because of this, through their experience of literally doing nothing, they believe men can do the same... Which we all know is a load of shit.

[–]TrueBro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's as simple as that. It's also why a lot of their relationships "just happen". They don't realise the other party had to make a move in order to make it happen.

[–]Mechbiscuit 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Be yourself is great advice, if you know what it means. Most people can't articulate what they mean when they say that, but I've worked out what "be yourself" means.

When you're about 13 or so, you will inevitably ask your mum or dad: "how do you get girls to like you?". Completely oblivious to the fact that it's a bad question (the question should be; "how can I become likeable to women", but I digress), your parent of choice will tell you;

"Just be yourself".

What if yourself is a neurotic, needy muppet with no confidence and crippling anxiety? When you walk over to her and try to talk to her, you stumble over your words, stutter and wring your hands - in your parents eyes (or whoever gives you the advice to be yourself), that's not something you do. That's not you. You are not being yourself. You don't act like that normally. You are not being genuine and you are not being yourself.

Being yourself is a frame of mind completely devoid of negativity.

Remove all the negative character traits - neurosis, anxiety and crippling low self-esteem and you are left with yourself. Someone with a great sense of humour that likes football, finds people - especially women, fascinating, lovely and interesting. Someone who might not understand social interaction 100% but is aware of what image it might project if you say certain words.

It's a state that is accepting of the roles people take in your life. It's devoid of negativity and naivety (which only comes with practice and experience, anyway). It's accepting that when you're having a really deep discussion at 2am with your best friend that you appreciate is bringing you both closer together, your best friend might just consider it another Saturday night.

Now, when I approach a girl, I'm just tired. I'm tired of being afraid or thinking that I might trip over my words. I'm tired of giving into that piece of my brain that will tell me to run. There is no more time to read another self help book, gentlemen. Destroying your naivety and negativity should be a priority. You do this one piece at a time - by debriefing yourself in the shower that evening and the morning after - replaying the events of the night before over and over in your mind to find where you went wrong.

"I shouldn't of said that".

"That was a silly thing to do."

"I think I came across a little needy here...".

When you introspectiavly learn from your mistakes, eventually you will stop being a needy weirdo all together. It's not something that happens over night, it's something you eliminate out of your life slowly over time.

TL;DR: Why "be yourself" is actually good advice, how to be yourself & what "be yourself" really means.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don't act like that normally.

Some people very much do act like that even when no one else is around.

[–]Newdist2 2 points3 points  (4 children)

If all men believed that "just being themselves" worked, it would be very obvious who the best men were, making it easier for women to filter out the betas.

Imagine that some 27F comes here asking how she find a husband since she's sick of being pumped and dumped. We tell her to make sure to reveal her N on the first date so she doesn't waste time with men who won't want to marry her....

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

That's similarly terrible advice. Hide that shit and never mention it. If he finds out, deny, deny, deny. If he makes a stink, get a divorce. It's totally in your favor as a woman.

[–]Newdist2 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yes, that's my point. As men, it sure would be easy for us if every woman just told us her N without lying.

[–]MUTHAFATHAGENTLEMAN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never ask for advice from someone who doesn't have something you want. Do you want to learn how to attract men? Then ask a woman.

If you want to learn how to attract women, ask the greatest man.

That goes for everything. If your parents are giving you advice on what to do after school, they're giving you advice based on their experience in life. If your dad had a job his whole life, he's not going to be the best person to ask about becoming an entrepreneur.

[–]ned_ryersons_scrotum 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I look at this saying "just be yourself" women are saying to men to presently yourself honestly to make their mate choice as easy as possible.

Its no secret that men are attracted to women's body/looks (reproductive health indicator blah blah). Do women present how they look "honestly"? Do they just be themselves in the physical sense? No they spend billions of dollars on potions, magazines, beauty tips, push-up bras, fashion whatever. They spend hours getting ready for dates. So to repeat, are they "just being themselves" in the physical sense?

[–]stevredpill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's simple. They don't want you to "be yourself." They want you to "be yourself" with "yourself" being an alpha mofucka with a six pack, a 7 figure salary, and a harem of bitches.

So in reality, they do want you to be yourself. They just want the genuine version of you to be fucking alpha.

So when they answer that question, they aren't really answering the question- because if they answered the question truthfully, they would totally come off like a gold-digging, superficial hoe.

[–]Roman_Statuesque 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Telling people "to be themselves" is what I consider to be the worst advice they give to children nowadays. Fuck that. Don't be yourself Be who you want to be.

[–]Endorsed Contributorcocaine_face 4 points5 points  (1 child)

As far as I can tell, frequently this means, "don't be incongruent, because that's weird and nobody likes it".

To a girl, that's about all she has to do to get dates, and all she notices in her men. Women only see the tip of the iceberg of dating.

[–]NormanoSilurian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, PUA community emphasises this. They say congruence is a central pillar of good game. It's got nothing to do with seeing betas for what they are, or any other alpha/beta/omega-based analysis. It is a direct, simple and explicit reference to CONGRUENCE.

[–]Blaat1985 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not self serving. They are giving this advice because it works for them. That's why they conclude it will work for everyone. They also give this advice to other females How do you explain that?

[–]rocklion200 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live by a philosophy of "owning yourself" not "just be yourself." You can "just be" but its passive. To own is to have confidence in who you are and in your manhood. Were all different and TRP can't change that and shouldn't. No man should change himself to be who he's not. But you should own who you are. Nerd? Be the best nerd. Hipster? Be the best hipster. But don't just be. Take possession and own.

[–]HellhoundsOnMyTrail 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Johnny Soporno, loosely associated with the PUA community, said something I found very insightful during a lecture video. He said what they're actually saying when this advice is given out is "Please, please, please.. don't try to be someone you're not" And to me that makes sense.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't say that I agree with him. Fake it till you make it works. That's being someone you're not, isn't it? Maybe he's saying don't go outside the zone that you can comfortably pull off, e.g. Nicolas Cage shouldn't try to do serious readings of Shakespeare.

[–]balalasaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your interpretation is interesting. Yes 'be yourself' can be act as a beta-screener but it can also act as a bullshit screener too. Women can spot a man who's trying to be what he isn't. I like to think women saying 'be yourself' implies that you should hold yourself in some kind of esteem. That you value yourself enough to b the person you are, not value her more trying to be something you're not.

[–]j-pHil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It true, but definitely accidental. Women believe that everything about you is natural. This makes sense because self improvement is something only recently widely available resulting in most people being a product of their genetics. Women are looking for the best genes to mate with, so the advice is in fact good for them. Of course they aren't actively thinking about this, but it is hardwired.

[–]2asd1100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]1ireallyamnothere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's perfectly good advice, if you happen to be the strong, attractive, confident, and successful alpha she is seeking. Her advice isn't for you, its for the man she wants. The catch is that the man she wants doesn't need her advice and will never ask that question of her.

[–]havelbrandybuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's actually great advice from the perspective of "be yourself" suggests to do your own thing, pursue your own hobbies and interests and live your own independent life instead of molding yourself over the personality of chasing women.

Women are attracted to someone who can live comfortably without them.

[–]Park_Hobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not bad advice. It means "be confortable, chill out". It's the advice I give to my girlfriend. Your goal doesn't have to be to pick up girls, so just go out and enjoy yourself. Go crazy dude. I'm 5'4, socially retarted and very skinny, but I catch girls looking at me and enjoying my company, because I just enjoy "being". This is the advice pharell Williams gave to Tyler the creator. "Just be"

[–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (1 child)

literally anti-TRP/PUA flak cannons going off as the B-17's come to drop dick bombs on the vagina factories.

i know i am drunk right now, but that is awesome!

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you kind sir. I liked the imagery of that one too.

[–]thenarrrowpath 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It took me a while to realize this, mainly from reading this sub, but taking dating advice from women is the worst thing you can do. The mass majority of women have never picked up a woman, have never had do multiple approaches, have never rejected, has never been accused of just wanting sex, has never dealt with LMR, has never dealt with shit tests, has never worked out logistics... should I go on?

[–]larrythetomato 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Initially the advice seems like a trap, but it is actually quite deep. Of course most women don't understand the depth.

Women are inherently solipsistic. It takes concentrated effort for them to conceive different viewpoints. When they tell you to "be yourself" they mean, you have to appear to be sincere (which is actually extremely good advice). You will get better success if you tell a girl (indirectly) that you want to fuck her, then pretending you don't and doing shit for them (nice guy syndrome).

Another thing is that women's advice is extremely weak (except in manipulation). Especially in terms of seducing women, unless they are exceptionally self aware, observant and wise, they probably won't be able to give you any direct advice. They just parrot what everyone else has said "be yourself".

Read the post on "A woman cannot tell you how you must proceed. She can only tell you what she wants to experience." (can't link due to restrictions, use search).

[–]SeekingTheWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TLDR version of "jby" = "don't blow your pua cover"

[–]1Jaereth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They just don't know what they are saying. They see loser guys trying to act really cool, then they see Chad and he gives them the tingles.

The loser guys, they are putting on some facade trying to attract them. But Chad, he's just being himself

Basically, if you ever hear just be yourself in that context, it means confident and outcome independent. Not actually being yourself.

[–]sir_wankalot_here 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am naturally an asshole, so it is actually good advice.

[–]Trail_of_Jeers 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I used to think it meant "Be your best self." What it really means is "Make it easier for us women to keep seeing you as a beta or omega bitch so we can easily avoid accidentally spreading our legs for you."

Sexual strategy is immoral, Women run on their sexual strategy, they do not have your best interest at heart.

Fake it until you make it.

[–]ConfidenceMatters 1 point2 points  (5 children)

"Be yourself" isn't bad advice. It's perfect advice. As long as you're genuine and you are yourself with zero fucks given, you are attractive period. It communicates value. This, understood this way, is exactly what this "red pill" philosophy generally advocates.

Say what's on your mind. Do whatever you feel like doing. Thoughts, words and actions must be aligned - you are not being "filtered." People pick up on this and you become attractive because you're not fake - you're being YOU.

It also demonstrates confidence when you go through life putting out the REAL YOU out in the world, without care of being accepted/rejected. And THAT demonstrates outcome INDEPENDENCE in ways, and also demonstrates self-love to a degree - Again, all displays of very high attractiveness.

Why it's usually perceived as terrible advice - it's fucking vague as fuck and often misunderstood.

No one ever explains what being yourself really means - especially in this Politically Correct western world.

People with the lack of understanding of what that advice really means take it and run with their uncharming and ugly personalities and think "hey, they say as long as I continue to be like this... I should meet someone awesome for me!! Right...? WTF why can't I get laid/meet someone for me????"

"Be yourself" essentially means gain confidence, become outcome-independant, and love yourself enough to want to share YOU with the entire world. People just misunderstand that as "continue being a faggot chode and eventually, something will come along to like you.

[–]MyNewAccount9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is a great mystery to me why so many assume that "Be yourself" means "be a pathetic chode."

[–]SwagYoloJesus -1 points0 points  (3 children)

"Be yourself" essentially means gain confidence, become outcome-independant [...]

No. From the mouth of a woman, it definitely does not mean that. It means "be yourself so that I can assess quickly whether you're an alpha or not".

As long as you're genuine and you are yourself with zero fucks given, you are attractive period.

Yes. If you are naturally someone who's attractive when giving zero fucks. Do you know what happens when awkward guys give zero fucks though? Their undesirability becomes instantly obvious for women, so this advice is only any good if it's employed by an alpha, who would never ask for such advice in the first place.

Say what's on your mind. Do whatever you feel like doing. Thoughts, words and actions must be aligned - you are not being "filtered." People pick up on this and you become attractive because you're not fake - you're being YOU.

Again, if you're naturally an alpha, this is great stuff. If you're an awkward fuck by nature, then, well, not so much. Here's the fucking thing: women want you to be easily identifiable as one or the other. They don't want to jump through hoops just so that they can see who you really are, they want all men to be themselves so that alphas and betas can be identified from a mile away. Convenient, won't you say?

Hey, are you a woman?

[–]ConfidenceMatters -1 points0 points  (2 children)

No. From the mouth of a woman, it definitely does not mean that. It means "be yourself so that I can assess quickly whether you're an alpha or not" ("not" = a natural beta, or one who's playing alpha).

You're taking words at face value, brethren. Actually, you are framing it in a way that portray women as villainous cunts just to fit your narrative. In a way of course, you're right, we ALL have a screening out process naturally, and this is one of the ways people screen, but you're missing the deeper meaning and what it truly means.

When one is being themselves, literally, one is acting and demonstrating exactly what I said in the post you quoted. That is what "being yourself" means. That is what this sub advocates, this is what a woman YEARNS for in a Man. So when they say this, they are thinking of the attractive guys that are themselves and so they figure if it works for that guy, it can work on all guys.

They say "be yourself" like that countless charmers that bang them... but what mostly makes those guys attractive? THE FACT THAT THEY ARE THEMSELVES UNAPOLOGETICALLY LOL

They are not wrong in this in the least. People are just mad women don't spell it out for them. Maybe "be your genuine yourself, no matter what, unapologetically" would be WAY better advice, but what can we truly expect from taking advice from the objectively inferior species? They're children with big responsibility. Like you said, anyone asking for advice from a female is a tool and a chode period.

Being yourself = thoughts, words and actions 100% aligned - NO MATTER WHAT THOSE THOUGHTS, WORDS AND ACTIONS ARE. That alone will boost your attractiveness, but once you couple this attitude/way of life (of aligning your thoughts words and actions, thus living mostly unrestricted and free) with the supreme confidence, outcome-independence and self-love that being yourself creates, then your charm & attractiveness amplifies to sexy levels.

However, like I said, chodes take that and completely misconstrue it and they end up with worse value than before. They think "be yourself" means continue to totally misalign thoughts, words and actions, which creates incongruencies and insecurities etc etc etc.

Yes. If you are naturally someone like that. Do you know what happens when awkward guys give zero fucks though? Their undesirability becomes instantly obvious for women, so this advice is only any good if it's employed by an alpha, who would never ask for such advice in the first place.

You can be a homeless bum or a hardcore geek-nerd Urkle type mofo and if you BE YOURSELF with zero fucks given (be SUPREMELY confident in yourself - say because you rape at Halo/COD/Magic/Yugioh - be outcome-independent by putting yourself out there and not giving a fuck, and loving yourself), you can pull some hardcore attractive poon. I've seen this shit happen all the time. There are hardcore geek-nerds out there (obsessed with anime type fools, goody-two-shoes) that are charming because they go through life unapologetic for who they are.

It's actually fucking hilarious to watch some "loser" geek who has self-love and supreme self-confidence (#ContrastIsKing) rack up the bitches because how wrong it looks. Homeless dudes too when they game, and game good. Probably some of the funniest interactions I've ever seen, on par with Julien/Jeffy/Brad/Owen's best shit.

Hell, even if someone like Eliot Rogers OWNED his personality, and really had his thoughts, words & actions 100% aligned, he would have been alive right now and swimming in pussy. Regardless of his hobbies, voice, body frame, fucked up psychotic thoughts etc etc.

They don't want to jump through hoops just so that they can see who you really are, they want all men to be themselves so that alphas and betas can be identified from a mile away.

Pffft I don't know what you're talking about but women, especially the hotter ones, loved to be challenged and they lurrrrrv figuring out who you are on their own - unraveling your sexy personality, bit by bit, in layers like an union. That means as a Man you must never make anything easy for them and thou shalt always have an aura of mystery.

[–]SwagYoloJesus -1 points0 points  (1 child)

It's pointless for me to even respond, you don't know the first thing about how women think.

Now scoot.

[–]ConfidenceMatters -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You literally have NOTHING to respond because Rollo Tomassi hasn't given you the words to defend yourself with haha. You're just some idiot regurgitation what Rollo Tomassi has said in the past about JBY.

LOL @ "women dont want to jump through hoops to see who you really are"

And you probably wonder why you stick to tinder/OKcupid to meet women.

Sit the fuck down and read the sidebar plz thnx

[–]1R_E_D_1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every inch of a woman is designed to make a man into a beta. She raises her boys to be beta. She raises her daughters to make men into betas. It's being going on since we first started to walk on two legs and probably a ways before then.

Why does she do this? To ensure that the alphas that don't put up with her shit will forge their own paths come into prominence. It feels shitty as a guy because it means that we have to work, constantly, do be good enough to hold our position with her as an alpha. But it also means she's doing her part to make sure the population continues. And she does it naturally, even without having her mother raise her into it.

[–]PedophilePriest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think its genuinely honest advice actually. Since women dont have to put in the blood sweat and tears just to figure out who they are this makes sense to me. They do want males to just be themselves, and thats certainly what top alphas do. What they dont realize is that they want a man whose been fully actualized, someone who knows exactly who he is, whose reached most of his potential, to be honest and direct.

If you've let your body go, forgotten your passions, hold your tongue and dont express your thoughts and desires then you aren't really being yourself are you?

[–]SuperAwesomeness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being not yourself, especially being something better than yourself fucks with women's status radar.

Women love the status quo when it comes to people's SMV. Women need to have an accurate map of everyone's SMV, so she knows who is really worth hooking up with.

[–]1chivalry_augustus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many men are a long way from being themselves, and many more are a long way from being the best version of themselves. The problem with the whole be yourself thing is that men have followed it, seen it fail, then looked for the deceit afterwards. In actuality, it is conceit that is the problem, coming from within, not without. It is when you tell yourself that the idea of 'yourself' that has persisted for decades is actually who you are that you run into the false feedback loop, and struggle for a means of escape. You know, that selfless prick who worships women and, when he tries to be 'himself', puts them ahead and above of himself. The androgynous nice guy type. Prideful ignorance of one's actual self in favour of what you think other people want you to be is not being yourself. Being yourself is not a bad idea, written down, or spoken hypothetically, the problem comes in the exectuion of the idea. Be a man might be a better way of phrasing it, and might be met with more success.

[–]1kick6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's two things at play here.

  • women want men who "just get it." So if you're having to ask, you don't get it.

  • for women, "just being yourself" actually works. Just as "waiting for the right guy" actually works.

On point one: consider the shit advice your punishment for not getting it.

On point two: women, being solipsistic, have no concept of the fact that every relationship they've been in was explicitly generated by a dude.

[–]sociosexualstatus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girls want a lazy alpha, an alpha who didn't have to work to get where he is, an alpha that doesn't suffer. Girls want paradise because they're in paradise they want men to be too

[–]basilwhite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]Transmigratory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That seriously depends on what you are like. If you're a guy with solid game whose amazing with women, being yourself would help.

Though you'll find that those who get this advice are so beta that women actually lie to them* to protect their feelings. This is because being told the truth may depress the beta; women HATE being the harbingers of bad emotions to betas who trigger their motherly instinct.

*A woman is more likely to tell a fragile beta that he's alright the way he is. You know, the sort of crap a teenage girl likes to hear. Yes, women probably view betas as no different to what insecure teenage girls are.

[–]anttyk47 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thoughts? Well first we're discussing something women say. That statement should indicate to you that you already know you're wrong. Second, following your theory your conclusion is wrong. This advice is great but it needs to be expanded for your brain to understand. Be your BEST self.

Done and done

[–]MyNewAccount9 0 points1 point  (0 children)


What if they are begging men to act like men!

Maybe they know that men who act week, needy and unattractive are not acting like men, and that these behaviors are unnatural and gross.

Here's what I know:

Women like men.

If you are a man, then be a man and you will naturally attract women.

Men who fight themselves and their masculinity, hold themselves back, act like weenies b/c they saw a romcom that said to be supersweet or whatever.... that shit is gross and unattractive. AND IT'S NOT YOU.

It's not that fucking hard to be a man. Just enjoy being a man. Take care of your body. Talk to women and say shit they react to and have fun with it. Stop giving a fuck every once in a while.

Maybe thats what women mean. They know the nice guy shit is false, and they want a man.

[–]HeadingRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often ask bass and trout for fishing advice.

[–]UgUgImDyingYouIdiot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if "yourself" kicks ass? My problem was always I was trying to be dinnertime else and that my natural personality was already balls deep in red pill philosophy so I tried to hide it, which led to less attention from women...

[–]1Zanford 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly the conventional TRP wisdom about JBY.

[–]BluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rollo has several posts on this coming to the same conclusion.

The purpose of many of these social conventions- LJBF, JBY, etc is to maximize female hypergamy at the expense of men. All the conventions empower women by making it easier to identify the Alphas. The most infuriating part of this is that your ex-wives, your sisters, even your own mothers are in on the game.

They want a man who will "Just Get It" who disregards the constant female lies and subterfuges.

[–]Endorsed Contributordeepthrill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good OP. Girls hate to think they were duped. They hate the PUA tricks. Because they actually want a masculine man. They don't want a pretender. So they want men to just be themselves, so that they can feel like they are getting the best deal. They want to know that if you are confident, you aren't faking it. They want everyone to be themselves so they can filter out the best without having to deal with pretenders. Girls are efficient and don't want to waste years on someone only to realize the dude is a chump way too late.

Side note: that's also why girls hate /r/theredpill and pua shit. They don't want a man who has to improve himself. They stupidly want a man who is "naturally" an alpha. Improvement implies that he wasn't always this way, and makes them scared that deep down he will regress.

They love the strategy's result, but hate when people have to use the strategy.

[–]N0TH4PPY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Confident guys are themselves, so when women are asked that question they think about the guys to whom they are attracted to and... those guys are being themselves.

So the unedited true answer is "Be confident and be yourself".

[–]DrunkSkeleton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's like asking a wealthy man what you should do for money. He will tell you to follow your dreams. This isn't a real answer because he does not have to consider not having money for getting by, paying rent, or getting a higher education. Women are rich sexually and must be taken with skepticism.

[–]aa223 0 points1 point  (1 child)

To me, I like being myself. However, I love being the best version of myself I can be. Nothing wrong with being you as long as you know how to improve yourself along the way.

The advice "Just be yourself" should be changed to "Be the best version of yourself"

I remember the old saying "It is better to be a first rate version of yourself than a second rate version of someone else."

[–]Zaaq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this, it's perfect. If you love yourself and your life, friends, girls, and just people in general will like you. When you look out for number 1 (and you honesty are #1 in your life) most things will fall into place

[–]-Tyler_Durden- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you've been reading the sidebar and improving yourself (both physically and mentally) then just be yourself. Just be the beautiful RP asshole that you've become. For the new guys, you have to fake it until you make it; don't be yourself yet (future you doesn't even like that guy).

If you want women (and people in general) to like you, then you have to become the best you you can be. Just realize what will make you the best person possible. Maximize your physical potential, stop being an emotional tampon, and learn how to give the girls what they want - VJ tingles.

[–]munchester 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I strongly disagree with you. I think that being yourself is one of the most important parts of building your character and confidence. Woman can give a lot of useless "advice" and I'm not saying that you should believe everything they say but what if your grandfather told you that you should be yourself?

Inflating your fake ego to appear alpha would only trick the dumbest females. Most people including you would know who you really are. Pretending to be someone else is only a temporary solution to why you can't actually be who you want to be.

I hope I'm just misunderstanding you reasons because to me this seems like a very low quality post raging against woman giving advice with some fancy TRP speak thrown in without anything to backup you opinion.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

My grandfather never would have said that. He would have said, "Shut your fucking bellyaching and BE A MAN." That is great advice, unlike what women say. Not everyone's self is all that great.

[–]munchester 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My point being that it's better to me true to who you are (even if you are very shallow, uninteresting person) and develop yourself so that you don't have to pretend to be someone else but actually be.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Being yourself" does not mean self-improvement. I don't know where all you idiots get that from. Of course self improvement is good advice. THAT'S NOT WHAT WOMEN ARE TELLING YOU TO DO.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inflating your fake ego to appear alpha would only trick the dumbest females.

Hardly. Watch just about every PUA out there. They disagree with you and so do their results.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finally, pwned.

[–]the99percent1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would u ask a fish how to catch a fish? No... So why the fuck is this even here?? What self serving purpose is there to ask such a stupid question.

[–]siegristrm 0 points1 point  (18 children)

The reality, is be yourself... that's not anti-TRP at all. TRP is about being your best self and bettering yourself and giving no fucks if people don't like it.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (17 children)

...which is not at all what women mean when they say JBY.

[–]siegristrm 0 points1 point  (16 children)

It 1/2 is. If yourself is Alpha.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (15 children)

How many alphas do you know that ask women for advice on how to make themselves more attractive? So who is actually asking this question? Think about that for a second.

[–]siegristrm 0 points1 point  (14 children)

I have recently... However, my question was how many Alphas need the Red Pill? We can circljerk that all day. However, people that want to learn more, dig into the psyche of others, etc. will ask questions. Nothing wrong with that.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (13 children)

However, my question was how many Alphas need the Red Pill?

ZERO. That's the point. If your behavior is what defines you (and it totally is) then someone who is naturally alpha will be functionally indistinguishable from someone who is a long time practitioner of TRP advice. That's not to say natural alphas couldn't benefit from having a wider base of experience and feedback to draw from, but in terms "needing" the Red Pill, it will make only minor improvements in their lives, as opposed to the massive improvements in a beta's life.

[–]siegristrm 0 points1 point  (12 children)

Exactly, so if you can extract information from females to get into their psyche, how is that not Alpha?

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children)


A.) Alphas aren't doing it for women, that's just a side benefit

B.) Information you get directly from a woman is going to be useless. Only observing behavior will get you anything of value.

[–]siegristrm 0 points1 point  (10 children)

I dunno man, when I was younger, I used to friend some girls and they gave some excellent insight that works to this day. Also, recently asked some ladies that are friends open question about certain "game" mechanics and they were in line with Red Pill theory as well as some PUA stuff.

For example, I was giving some guy advice about when you should text. Most guys say wait 3 days or a week or some shit, I told him later that night or the next morning. As I'm giving this advice, confirmed it with 2 coworkers at different times. Their intel can't always be trusted, but in some situations it can.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children)

Again, that's bad advice. That's what they want you to do. If you do what they want, they know they have you. If you make them wait, it shows you are not at their beck and call and they you have better shit to do besides talk to them. It puts you in the position of power instead of the other way around. That's pretty basic stuff.

[–]strivingforfreedom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being yourself works in my opinion, but most people are afraid. Example: I see a pretty girl and I instantly think of what she looks like naked. When talking to her do I say, "Hey, you know what? I'd really love to stick my dick in you. Let's do it!" or do I say "Hey what's up, how are you?". First isn't guaranteed to work, but the second is dishonest and is weak ass game.

What am I getting at here? I have no clue.

[–]Overkillengine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alternate/additional reason for "JBY": Conflict avoidance powertalk. By not critically evaluating and giving frank feedback, she gets to consciously or unconsciously avoid dealing with the reaction of someone that might have an ego investment backlash.

Plus, if no one feels bad about the problem, there is no actual problem right? Lalalala~ head in the sand /s

Edit: a lot of you may be helped by thinking of it this way- you can want a certain type of action/reaction from another all you want, but unless there is a direct and immediate reward for them from that desired behavior, you probably shouldn't expect it. This applies to men or women really. Most people do not have enough long term / utilitarian thinking ingrained in them to choose in favor of that over short term gratification / conflict avoidance.

[–]Ermgotthis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. It's a good advice, as long as you're the best version of yourself. I love being myself, and women love seeing that I just embrace who I am, and not fake it. Just... You've got to raise yourself to the top so "being yourself" attracts woman.

The advice isn' t a lie, it's just not complete : "Be yourself, but first work hard to be the best version of yourself". TRP truth.

[–]shapb 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Many people here are horribly wrong. This whole "women dont know what they want" is PLAIN WRONG. The only exception to that rule is when they want or expect you to lead during an interaction, date, LTR, etc. they arent clueless idiots and know exactly what they want in a man. Go on dating sites, they practically spoon feed you what they want, and what they want is a guy that will not bend over for them.

Women tell you to be yourself because most guys they meet are fake, women call these men "nice guys." In a way, women are telling you not to be an ultra beta.

That simple. Holy fuck at the indepth analysis here.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

But betas aren't being any more fake than alphas. Its disingenuous on women's part to call out that "they only want sex" when they are fully willing to provide only sex to alphas willingly.

Actions speak louder than words. If you want to know what attracts a woman, just watch what she responds to and ignore anything she says.

[–]shapb 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Agree with the first paragraph, but not with the first one.

How can an alpha be as fake as a beta 'nice guy' exactly? It ia impossible unless we both mean different things by alphas.

Being yourself is great advice, if at the very least you attract people who like you for who you are which boosts your confidence, inturn boosting your attraction.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Because neither one is being fake? When betas actually start faking it, they do better than when they were "being themselves". So it's disingenuous to say that fakers are a turnoff.

[–]shapb 0 points1 point  (1 child)

They arent faking it when they are ridding themselves of social conditioning.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They aren't "being themselves" either.

[–]cooltrip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a radical redpiller, and I think you should be yourself about the core, own worth related principles. Only be generous to others from your internal autonomy or, if you wish, "superiority", self-respect and self-admiration. Only admire others as long as you internally admire yourself yet more. Admire others, but as a generous and kind favor you do to them, because you are so admirable and great that you can even be kind, generous and giving to others. You don't need others, but you help others.

BUT I think that being yourself is ONLY necessary, not sufficient. That is, you HAVE TO be yourself, but being yourself is not all it takes.

[–]MagicGainbow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realized this myself, my mother used to say ''just wait'' and ''it'll happen when you least expect'' etc. at first Ia thought this was terrible...I still do but now I realize from her perspective it worked perfectly.

[–]zhu_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its true. be honest, be truthful, be kind, be whatever attributes that an alphamale has.

[–]Thewhoracle 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is 'be yourself' really such bad advice? To be your vision of yourself, with your own goals and aspirations. To be unmovable against women's shit tests. As long as you are striving to be your best self, isn't 'be yourself' good advice?

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as you are striving to be your best self

That's a pretty big assumption.

[–]DarkCircle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My take on it is that women are more likely to say what "sounds right" and "feels good". Very few women will say "be an aloof jerk" or "you are not attractive". The woman that you are asking likely likes you and for her to acknowledge that a decent like able guy with a good personality is having trouble being attractive is really outside her world view. It would be a bitter red pill for her to swallow and most of us only took the pill because we HAD to, she does not.

It is similar to when her overweight girlfriend asks why she gets no attention. She cares about her friend so much that acknowledging the truth of the situation is too painful. So she tells her to smile more, borrow a dress, she is so gorgeous! etc. she can't fathom that a person she thinks is great gets little attention and it further validates her in that the attention she gets is due to her disposition rather than the attributes she was born with but had little say in.

There is also the fact that for her, she has never had the same challenges as a guy: Being out and having to take rejection after rejection, trying to be fun all night long, thinking of the right thing to say, bitchy friends, cock blocking dudes. I am sure that as guys, there is stuff about the female perspective we miss too, I just get the impression we would be closer to accepting And understanding their struggles.

[–]papadop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People here really need to stop bitching or even thinking about women's dating advice. First off you should already know damn well by now advice they give you won't actually be helpful. If you can't accept that by now you're really not improving yourself.

Secondly - be yourself IS good advice - assuming your true self is desirable towards women. Better advice would be "change yourself" but even though women know they themselves aren't attracted to a "beta", they DO absolutely still believe the blue pill idea that there are many other women that will find betas as desirable.

"Being yourself" generally implies confidence and comfort in your own skin. That is an essential part of getting with women. You can certainly not be yourself and gain for short term hookups, but in the context of LTR women are biologically designed to sniff out and test men. So if you are yourself from the beginning, it will last longer.

But if you are putting on a front, your true self eventually comes out, and she realizes you're putting on a front (sign of a weak man) and she loses attraction to you.

[–]KarmaEnthusiast 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Ridiculous post, being yourself is 100% what you need to be to attract women or even people in general. It's just the fact that most men haven't decided what they actually want to be. So they pretend to be a guy they saw, their personality doesn't match their outward appearance and they seem out of place and fake.

"Being someone else?" Absolutely. Most guys are trying to fake something.

I don't pretend to be someone I'm not and that means I can explain others' reactions to me more easily and I can gauge my own mood rather than 'manufacturing' one. I don't go out if I'm unhappy and put a big show on, if I'm in a good mood I'll then take that energy with me upon going out.

The main premise of this subreddit is to teach betas how to become alphas. 90% of guys here are betas.

You're caring what women think by making this whole post and that is the exact wrong attitude.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A.) I was merely sharing a thought I had. Calm the fuck down.

B.) Just be yourself is terrible advice to attract women unless you are already attracting women.

C.) Becoming an alpha isn't about being yourself. It's about improving yourself and becoming someone you never were before.

D.) You really need to calm the fuck down.

[–]munchester 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. This post seems to be just a circlejerk of Bettas getting the wrong idea of what RedPill is about. But then again it's easier to blame the woman for being "evil" than to realize who you truly are.

[–]MoltenPhoenix 0 points1 point  (5 children)

"Just be yourself". What are you? At the most basic level, before anything else, you are a MAN. So, be a man: strong, assertive, focused. What most people don't realize is that being a man is a continuous process, you must assert yourself as a man in every moment of your life.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I disagree. The concept of what a "Man" is and how a "Man" should behave is mostly culturally constructed. That's not the first thing I consider when I try to define myself. I'm not sure if that's just because "being a man" is background noise to me at this point or what, but I don't consciously define myself that way, even though many of the things I do use to define myself fall very neatly within the "Man" framework.

[–]MyNewAccount9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are making this shit theoretical.

It's not so complicated. We're men. We have this energy in our gut and our bones and our muscles. Go with that energy and you come off as rough and boyish and masculine and manly. This is really really fucking exciting for girls.

You dont have to consciously define yourself or make a theory about it. Just feel your own natural masculine energy and go with it at least some of the time.

Dont overthink this.

It's not cultural it's biological: Women want men.

[–]sir_wankalot_here -1 points0 points  (2 children)

1000+ years ago, only 20% of males would have been classified as men. From around 1700 to 1970, 80% of males where getting a free ride. In most tribal cultures, citizen rights only applied to warriors. The magna carta implies that citizen rights only apply to warriors.

Things are just returning to the natural order.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also 1000 years ago was hardly long enough for what you are thinking of. That was the heart of the middle ages, with very strong family and social structures designed to keep the masses placated. Marrying off young men was a HUGE part of that.

[–]DaegobahDan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hardly. Besides all of the progress of mankind in the past 2000 years has come because we allowed men to stop worrying about getting pussy and focus their energy on more important things. Going back to the old might makes right paradigm will stunt society's progress.

[–]corvusdelicius 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think "be yourself" is actually good advice. What most people don't realize - usually blue pill types, but sometimes even red pills - is that you can change who "yourself" is. We aren't static rocks but constantly evolving processes. That's what makes us human and not animal.

If you don't like who you are, then become someone else. If you're a beta, become an alpha.

[–]SwagYoloJesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In itself, it's BS advice. It can be great advice though if you think about what it can mean, but I assure you, women simply want easily identifiable alpha and beta separation, so that they can just pick the right guy without effort.

[–]PHAT_BOOTY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever been so insecure about yourself that you have to pretend to be something you're not? This guy has!

[–]paynehouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Just be yourself" to a certain extent, means more than to just be your beta self. In my opinion, it means do what you want. Which is 100% a RP idea.

If you are yourself and don't care about what others think, I think that goes a long way.

However, if your self means someone who is a beta who cares what others think, then being yourself is not going to work. So you have a point there.

[–]4_YRT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just be yourself" is literally anti-TRP/PUA flak cannons going off as the B-17's come to dick bombs on the vagina factories.

I know, I know, language is changing and the word "literally" now means the exact opposite. But, it still seems weird to me when someone says that being yourself is literally flak cannons, because it isn't literally flack cannons.

[–]PedroIsWatching -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've noticed that as more men have realized how bullshit "just be yourself" is, girls have pivoted and hamstered it into something else.

"What we mean by 'just be yourself' is to be 'the best version of yourself'."

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? They don't even know themselves, but it makes them feel better I guess.

[–]Jrix -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Conscious feedback loop creating a larger abstraction between the value of our genes and our value in society.

Word yo

[–]tilraun -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think this is a common discovery after digesting The Red Pill. It's one of those "holy shit, I've been lied to!" moments. My thoughts: Amen.

[–]1RXRob -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

"Don't be yourself. You're a wanker. Be someone cool"