all 71 comments

[–]rich02468 169 points170 points  (3 children)

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The best compliment I've received from a woman: "Things just seem to run smoothly when you're in charge." Damn right they do. Also, it's good to see posts from married men on here. Hope to hear more from you.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

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[deleted]

    [–]rztzz 11 points12 points  (1 child)

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    I honestly do not know why girls don't implement game more often. A powerful compliment can make a man adore you. Most girls just think about themselves which backfires unless they're hot

    [–]friendlylex 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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    Girls don't need game. Spreading their legs suffices.

    [–]Fhom 68 points69 points  (1 child)

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    Thanks for the FR, Old Married Guy. Really glad to see :

    1. You got the hang of things and took ownership of your masculinity
    2. TRP mindset IS possible within a relationship
    3. Girls ( well in your case, women ) CAN dig that.

    Your post quite made my day. Somewhere, there are guys like you - and women like yours.

    [–]LukeMooney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    Your post quite made my day

    me2

    [–]1AfterC 58 points59 points  (4 children)

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    This shit right HERE is why TRP works.

    We got people with vaaaast misconceptions of TRP calling it a home of women beaters, domestic abusers and rape advocates.

    OP didn't do ANY of that shit. He took control of his life in a manner conducive for everyone around him, and he's happier for it. His wife doesn't feel abused - in fact she loves him more.

    I am convinced that when you empower the King, the whole Kingdom is better off for it.

    [–]redbluepilling 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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    He took control of his wife in a manner conducive only for himself. His wife doesn't feel abused - in fact she thinks she loves him more -- all part of his twisted manipulation.

    /as_read_by_a_feminist

    [–]southernmost 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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    Someone can be in charge, or no one can be in charge. There's really nothing in-between.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorWe_Are_Legion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    I am convinced that when you empower the King, the whole Kingdom is better off for it.

    Unless the king is a tyrant. Don't be a tyrant, guys.

    [–]iinfrequentlyperish 28 points29 points  (1 child)

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    I agree completely; a steady hand is what matters most when it comes to leadership. Women get distracted too often, by too many things. Men DGAF and proceed with the mission. Good story!

    [–]1pcadrian 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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    On the tram back to our car my wife hugged me tight and shamelessly kissed me with real passion saying: "I really like you like this. Thank you so much."

    The results SPEAK for themselves :)

    [–]craylash 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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    Symbiotic Relationship at it's finest.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 103 points104 points  (44 children)

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    Well aren't you just the abusive rapist domineering neckbeard asshole that never never respects women or gets laid? /s

    Women absolutely want to be led, regardless of their station in life. It's often why high-performing females chase even higher performing males -- they don't want to be in charge. Forget whatever nonsense feminism instilled in their heads. Being an independent wymynz is just a fleeting feeling that makes them feel good in the moment.

    The happiest woman is the one that knows her man is in charge and will take care of the situation. Good on you for making it work within the confines of a marriage.

    [–]friendlylex 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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    they don't want to be in charge

    They don't want to pay for their own shit, either.

    [–]le_king_falcon 15 points16 points  (0 children)

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    If you could legally get all your shit for free you would. Don't blame the players blame the game.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [deleted]

      [–]100 Modbsutansalt 11 points12 points  (0 children)

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      Leading without authority to lead just makes you domineering. Cultivating that authority and maintaining that frame is what matters.

      [–][deleted]  (39 children)

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      [deleted]

        [–]FallenAngel17 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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        just fyi, "leading" does not mean making the girl do something by force

        [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea -2 points-1 points  (36 children)

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        I guarantee that's not the case. Would you be happy if he worked a dead-end job and never moved up? Would you be happy if he never took you out anywhere, and left it to you to decide? You know what the answer is.

        You're just regurgitating what you wish was true.

        [–]leafitiger 2 points3 points  (34 children)

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        I am the "organizer" in the relationship. And get this...I'm the one who suggests going out typically. (Going out to eat, date nights, exercising...) I'm about to blow your mind. I also usually pay. (or we split.) It's not about one person being more "in control" than the other. When will y'all get that through your heads? I am not dependent on my man. He is not dependent on me. We help each other through hard times as partners should, and we are perfectly happy treating each other as equals. I'm sure some women wouldn't mind letting the man be in control, but you're in trouble when you start saying that all women want to be controlled. Now that's just silly. And blatantly sexist.

        [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 1 point2 points  (33 children)

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        Just out of curiousity, who makes more in the relationship? And how long have you been together?

        [–]BluepillProfessor[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

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        We have been married 20+ years, 10 of them a dead bedroom time of despair. She makes a lot more money than I will ever make.

        [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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        Given your handle, let me take a wild guess: she's a lawyer? I work with them, you couldn't pay me to date a single one.

        It's a little sad that in this day and age where incomes are fairly equal that a man is seen as inferior if he earns less.

        [–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        a man is seen as inferior if he earns less.

        Hypergamy, they can't help it. For most of human history women were reliant on men bringing home the bacon, you've done biochemistry though, you don't need me to preach to the choir.

        [–]BluepillProfessor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Go to the head of the class....but she is not like the others....

        [–][deleted]  (28 children)

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        [deleted]

          [–]Space_Tourist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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          I'm sure you actually believe what you are saying, but you are in high school and your experiences are very limited. I am 29 and in my experiences with women it is true that the vast majority want their man to be a "leader" of sorts.

          That doesn't mean that they want a man to control them (although some do, more than you would think) but they do want a confident man who can be relied upon to make important decisions, especially when under pressure. This is much different from what most men want in women.

          As you might have noticed, we generalize here a lot. We find it useful because these generalizations typically hold true. We are all aware that there are outliers, and you may be one of them (although I still doubt that).

          [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 5 points6 points  (26 children)

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          You're a teenager, well that suddenly puts everything into perspective. Talk to me when you're of marrying age. Your relationship dynamics at your age hardly matter, they're not serious.

          Your tune will change considerably in a decade.

          [–][deleted]  (15 children)

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            [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 4 points5 points  (14 children)

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            Here's the thing. I'm 32. I've dated women for a long time. Number one thing I've learned is that you listen to a woman's actions, not her words. Every girl says something to the same effect as what you're saying now. Girls don't want a master, but they do want a leader. Even the most ardent, "independent" woman I've met still ended up with a man who she looked up to. It's not about oppressing your partner. It's about being the strong character that women want to be with and follow.

            This sub just focuses on what works, aka what women actually mean when they say the stuff you're saying right now. And it works.

            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

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              [–][deleted]  (8 children)

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                [–]Wyboth -3 points-2 points  (9 children)

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                So, you're sexist and adultist?

                [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 4 points5 points  (8 children)

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                Feminists sure love making up terms that have no meaning.

                [–]Wyboth -2 points-1 points  (7 children)

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                Right, women and children are never discriminated against.

                [–]sting129 11 points12 points  (0 children)

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                often times the "career woman" is the one who most craves a leader at home. Not surprised at all with your field report. Excellent stuff.

                [–]rztzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                My problem is I get sick of leading 100% of the time in a relationship.

                I partially broke up with my last girl because I was thinking of all these fun interestin things to do and she never thought of them or planned them. Now I'm realizing I prob just gotta get used to that

                [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                I'm going to Disney World!!! Congrats on it working out and sharing with us.

                [–]bama79rolltide 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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                Hopefully your letter to Hustler gets published.

                [–]projectself 7 points8 points  (4 children)

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                Of course any leader would be a fool to ignore suggestions from a competent First Officer- damn good idea to stop and get the Fastpasses when we did- but her suggestions were ALWAYS FILTERED through the overall mission objective. Sure we can go that direction. The goal is to ride as many rides as possible- the mission objective doesn't matter where we start!

                Excellent.

                To many posts confuse controlling and leading. Women want to be led, they do not want to make decisions. She will yield into strength and most times go with the flow. However, this requires trust, and you have to earn that trust. Once that trust is gone, you cannot get it back - this is why the "shit test" concept is critical. Trust=Lust.

                The subtle thing is that in a way the woman is always in control, and if she does not like your plan she will tell you. It doesn't matter if she does not like your restaurant choice, does not like it in the ass, or wants to get a snow-cone. It is up to you to control you, that is all you can control. You control your reactions to her, you pursue the mission, and keep tight to what is important. For you, it was to live the day and soak up as many experiences as you could. You chased that and made it happen. You didn't attempt to control her, you showed leadership. Good job.

                [–]a-ko -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

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                Did we read the same post? He controlled her from the start. He wanted to get some, he did. He grabbed her phone and gave her his. He ran the entire day through his itinerary and she was along for the ride.

                I can tell you from experience I know what this man pulled. I've had this wok successfully for me in the past on dates. On the times I blue pilled, It bombed everything.

                Yes, this means the man is in control.

                [–]projectself 12 points13 points  (2 children)

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                Life is very chaotic, you only control yourself. You control your actions and reactions to events that happen to you. He did not control her, at any point she was free to change her mind. She wanted to be lead, not controlled.

                I used to think there was a very fine line between controlling and leading, but they come from polar opposites. controlling is very needy, as in you need for an interaction to go a specific way so you have expectations on others to behave a certain way. Leading is the opposite of needy, you are leading the interaction by setting the tone and pace of the relationship. She will either be receptive to it or not. That mentality comes from confidence and shows strength.

                He did not control her, he guided her by sailing the ship.

                [–]libglip 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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                He asserted leadership, she responded with compliance. Both of them did it with their eyes open and their wills engaged. Props all around.

                Instead of the word "control" I would use "manipulation". I see what is being said; whether or not this was "control", it certainly was not manipulation. Manipulation aims to suppress the will of its object -- it dehumanizes. It is the opposite of leadership.

                [–]a-ko -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                Yes. But he was under control at all times. He just didn't use coercion. He asserted dominance.

                [–]Xbitz 14 points15 points  (5 children)

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                A women trying to lead is like a man dressed in drag.

                [–]red_tux 9 points10 points  (0 children)

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                But Corporal Klinger did it with style...

                [–]InscrutablePUA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                Nice write up! Very entertaining. Love the part about taking good advice from a competent first officer.

                [–]Based_Downvote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                This right here is what I like to see.

                Most dipshits think TRP is brow-beating all womyn into submission; you simply took charge, and responded to the group's feedback, but without losing frame.

                Most of the stories on here are great for looking at and saying, "That'll be me in time." This story is a great example of how small simple changes can make a huge difference NOW.

                Congrats

                [–]OpiumPhrogg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                Awesome read! Thanks for sharing. Last time I was at the Magic Kingdom in Florida, we had done the whole park by lunch time and ended up just going back and hitting up the rides we enjoyed the first time through. It was just my dad and I, no kids ( or even thoughts of having them ) to manage.

                [–]bleh321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                My woman actually often says "I follow your lead" .

                You can set this as standard from the very beginning of the LTR simply by showing her new experiences and reinforcing the leader-follower regime

                [–]watersign 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                women like to be told what to do, lols

                [–]Ocolus_the_bot -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                [–]JamesWoj -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

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                This post is full of good subtle ways to get girls to obey your leadership cues. Commenting to save

                [–]antwonedw -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                have an upvote.

                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                It's so nice to hear from married men on TRP. I hope you post again.