all 171 comments

[–][deleted] 113 points114 points  (23 children)

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Reading this makes me shiver. Not just the behavioral stuff that is all too common with stories like these, but those houses. Those fucking houses. You walk in, and it just smells of a testicular graveyard. Objects like festive drapes, throw rugs, matching furniture, the newest kitchen aid that performs some esoteric function like peeling an orange.

It literally makes me hurt to see this, because all these things lose most of their of value upon their purchase. This value (usually begotten with the sweat of masculine effort) literally ceases to be the moment the cash is handed over. Everytime I walk into a place like that, it's like walking through a cemetery, and each one of these pieces of valueless shit reads like a tombstone that commemorates a portion of a man's life, now gone. Ottoman Chair? That was the overtime my friend put in last month. New drapes? That was his thanksgiving holiday. This whole fucking house? His God-damned life.

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger 67 points68 points  (5 children)

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It's scary when you think about it. A man's time is his most valuable and most limited resource.

Every stupid throw pillow, bed skirt, ottoman, etc. is a woman's victory trophy. The man's very essence being leached out for shit he doesn't want or need, decorating his wife's life. So she can show her trophies off and compare with her friends. "Look at what my man gives up just to keep me around. I don't even have to fuck him! He does all this just so I won't leave.

[–]SantonioHolmes 21 points22 points  (3 children)

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"A man's time is his most valuable and most limited resource."

Word. This is why I started thinking of purchases in terms of time rather than dollars. Things don't cost "X" amount of dollars anymore, they cost "X" hours of my life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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Yup, what is your time worth? It's certainly worth more than zero. You can take this into account for all kinds of situations, e.g. "Should I spend the cost of supplies and four hours of my time to refinish this old cabinet, or would the net cost be less to buy a brand new one instead?"

[–]1critter_about_towne 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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Sensible, but the very act of refinishing the cabinet, or doing something similar to restore or repair something, has a psychological value all it's own. It does depend on the actual goal - to have this cabinet vs. a new cabinet, to have a cabinet I restored myself vs. something new, etc. For many, the time put into something like a restoration is itself a goal and a benefit rather than a necessary cost for an end. For others, or at other times, not so much.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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That's a very good point too, I love physically working on stuff even if it's something mundane. I'm just saying it's easy to overlook the "smaller costs" in anything you undertake.

[–]Hardparty 14 points15 points  (0 children)

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Pieces of valueless shit like a graveyard, amazing.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

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    [–]Yoda7 16 points17 points  (5 children)

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    Most small appliances are like that. Thrift stores are a gold mine for people who actually use those kinda things.

    [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (4 children)

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    Comparatively, yes. Go into a goodwill, and you will get an idea of what the value of these things truly are.

    [–]Yoda7 9 points10 points  (2 children)

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    Exercise equipment is a good one too. I bought enough to open a small gym. And spent under $100. No lines or membership fees for me.

    [–]LegalPusher 7 points8 points  (1 child)

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    Same here, though for me the main value is not having any excuses. No 24h gym? Don't want to drive across town? It's pissing rain? Doesn't matter, time to get swole.

    [–]Yoda7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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    It's nice rolling out of bed and onto your machine. No pants required. During the winter, no excuse not to hit the gym. It's been a great investment. I thought I wore one machine out, but fixed it with jb weld. Back in business.

    [–]t21spectre 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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    Shelves full of that stuff at Goodwill/Value Village. Someone paid $200 for it at Bed Bath and Beyond, now it's yours for $10.

    [–]Dark_Shroud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    We used ours once. But we bought it cheap from friends at a garage sale.

    The big Kitchen Aid my grandmother had to have and several various items my mother had to buy. Never used much if at all. Ironically the sandwich press I did try to use but it was an over priced cheaply made pos.

    [–]Pill_Red 9 points10 points  (1 child)

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    Great post. I've always been pretty materialistic and what you wrote really got me thinking.

    [–]Okikii 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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    The greatest advice what I received from the elderly person:

    "Don't buy things, buy EXPERIENCES!"

    [–]Xiudo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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    esoteric function like peeling an orange.

    So you have been to my sisters nest?

    [–]Sturmgeist781 18 points19 points  (1 child)

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    Reminded me of the following:

    "Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions."

    "Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may."

    -Tyler Durden

    [–]AtticusWarhol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    [–]1rife_omeqa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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    The adage goes "Time is money" but it's more like "Money is time".

    The things people spend their lives doing baffles me.

    I bought a rug for my bathroom because the tiles are freezing cold on winter mornings. It cost me less than hours wage, took less than 30 minutes to go choose it, buy it and get it on my floor. No hassle. No worry. No fuss. No big deal if I never think about it again.

    Knowing that some people spend their whole lives picking/planning/worrying about/upgrading/changing meaningless shit like that ad infinitum makes me wonder if we're the same species. Even worse is know that some people do that with other peoples money which is just another persons time and time is the only resource there is.

    [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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    Yeah, I see this with all my friends. They were my bros in college, but they are timid little doormouses now, completely miserable and drinking way too much, because escaping to bars to drink with their work friends is the only semblance of male time they have. My friend who is brilliant but a full out nerd / beta sold me his 5k $ custom built desktop that he build by ordering all the best parts off of newegg. His wife was making him sell it, he had figured he could only sell it for around 1k or so now because no one wants to buy a used custom build from someone they don't know, with no warranty or anything. He was going to have to break it down and sell the parts. This is like the ultimate battlestation, I don't know much about it, but I work in gaming and my friends basically salivated over this beast. But it takes up soo much room and he never uses it because he works and his wife was spending all day (not working) being annoyed at it taking up a solid chunk of their space. Plus she hated that he was a gamer, despite the fact that he pulls around 95k a year and does really good 3-d modeling on that computer too.

    I try to tell him to put his foot down and spend his money on his own comforts / rewards, but he is too timid. He never had a hot girl growing up, so when he got a decent job and met his first gold digger-lite, he put a ring on it and is terrified of going back to being alone. Betas trade in masculinity for security, ironically losing security in the process. When they are determined to do this, the hardest part of being an onlooker is realizing that often times you cannot help them, and trying to do so forcefully or repetitively will only torpedo your friendship with them. So it goes.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    When they are determined to do this, the hardest part of being an onlooker is realizing that often times you cannot help them, and trying to do so forcefully or repetitively will only torpedo your friendship with them

    Ughhh, if it only weren't true. After a couple brutal castrations at the hand's of my friend's spouses, I have become much more proactive. I don't let such friendships "die on the vine" as it were. Whenever a friend who has no RP value becomes engaged, I sever all contact. No goodbye, no pretentious "let's keep up," and no more communication. He is literally dead to me until he divorces her.

    People are horrified when I reveal this. This is actually one of the few places where people might even relate. ahhhhh...

    [–][deleted]  (62 children)

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    [deleted]

      [–]monsieurhire2 23 points24 points  (14 children)

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      Ever notice how must families have a TV room . . . but not an Execise room, aka Dojo, or a Library?

      [–]Incepto_ne_desistam 18 points19 points  (0 children)

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      A dojo. Fuck, yeah.

      [–]nophoney 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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      Turned my dining room into a workout room. Yeah it looks weird, but I don't look fat anymore.

      [–]monsieurhire2 13 points14 points  (0 children)

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      My fat friend never wants to come over because "You don't have a TV."

      [–]Dark_Shroud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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      Yes this. When I upgrade my dwelling there will be a recumbent elliptical or exercise bike in my front room. So I can sit and burn calories while being with family & friends.

      There was an episode of The Fresh Prince like that years ago where they took out the furniture and put exercise equipment in the front room.

      I'm lucky that my family is book friendly. I'm passing that onto my 3yrld nephew and future kids.

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

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        [–]monsieurhire2 6 points7 points  (7 children)

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        When you factor in the money spent on the membership and all the time wasted on the commute, as well as the gas and wear and tear on the car, it pays for itself. You can all start with pieces and work your way up. Plus, you can do floor exercises like push-ups, get cheap stuff like an ab wheel and a chin-up bar, those elastic bands, etc. You can make yourself a power cage with 4 by 4's and some pipes, There's how-tos online. Lots of equipment can be gotten at a discount used, or on Craigslist. An Olypic barbell and bumper plates are good to have.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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          [–]Dark_Shroud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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          I bought the Iron Gym set cheap off woot.com, wasn't the best investment.

          I used to do pull ups on the I-beam in my basement and go hand over hand for 10 feet back and forth in the air on that. I realized how fat & out of shape I got when I couldn't even do one pull up any more.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

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          I find that home gyms tend to be a bit of a failure though.

          When i go to the gym, i make it something i plan for, its a legit entry in my schedule. But if i had one set up in my garage or whatever i just know it would never get touched. It'd be "Oh i'll do that in a moment, lemme just finish this..."

          Guess thats my lack of willpower i guess but i feel a lot of people probably fall in the same boat.

          [–]monsieurhire2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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          That's because pay gyms have the peer pressure component built into the business model. People go to them to be motivated by other people, to look at people, to be seen by people. It's an insidious aspect, because it demotivates people to work out on their own. Basically, it's a semi-covert behaviorist reward system: go to public gym, see hot chicks, keep coming back to work out, but also see hot chicks. The hot chicks are part of the reward. After I bought my home gym, I didn't use it for at least 1-2 months, then I gradually started easing my way into using it, and now I use it 3-4 times a week.

          [–]Blankworry 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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          All you need for a home gym is a squat rack and a bench. You can do pretty much everything with a barbell. If you have the garage space and don't mind working out alone, a garage gym is more than enough.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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          Oh i get that, not saying they need to be expensive or require a lot of equipment.

          I mean that somehow going to an actual gym seems to be a motivator for me, as opposed to bringing it in house.

          [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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          Got my home gym built for $400. Power rack, bench, oly BB, and plates, a 35kg kettlebell, and a pull-up attachment. All off CL, freecycle, and whatnot (and it could have feasibly been around 200$ if I didn't need a pretty good used power rack). I used to pay $25 a month at 24 hr fitness and think that was pretty reasonable (that costco promotion) but I've saved a ton of money and time.

          Highly recommend it. When your kids turn teenage, they will appreciate having that in the house too.

          [–][deleted]  (8 children)

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            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

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              [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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                [–]temparooney 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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                Maybe I'll show up there sometime, I'm a guy married almost 20 years now.

                [–]BluepillProfessor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                The gals at RPW rule. Girl power at its' finest. Thanks ladies.

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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                What the hell is an IKEA dinner party?

                [–]Starcraft_III 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                Think the beginning of Fight Club I guess? People having parties to show off their furniture? Idk.

                [–]WN5h 21 points22 points  (3 children)

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                This. Married, two sons. Have a job that I enjoy. Still get to go to school part time. There's nothing I enjoy more than being a father to two boys. The only downside I have is a bit of envy toward my sons for having a bad-ass dad and a stable house when I lacked that growing up.

                [–]Dark_Shroud 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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                Good for you, this is part of the reason I refuse to have kids until I own a house. My father was in the Marines and a lot of other stuff happened so it was really hard on me when I was little & moving around all the time.

                [–]temparooney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                I'd urge you to reconsider. Kids don't even know if it's a house or what it is until they are about 4. School district cannot possibly matter until 5 or 6. So get the kids now and get the house in 5 years.

                I'm a suburban dad, been there, doing that.

                [–]Blankworry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                You're a winner.

                [–]sway_usa[S] 38 points39 points  (25 children)

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                I can't argue with your happiness. If you found a good wife, a good job, and a good house, then that's great. I wish it were still that easy for most. Staying in shape is a must, in any situation.

                But I look ahead at the options for me, and the family, job, and kids route looks bleak. Marriage as an institution is in shambles, women are a mess, men are no better, jobs are garbage. Government regulation is making it difficult to start your own business, and quality food is scarce and expensive. I don't want to risk it to have a chance at the suburban dream. I need something else, I desire more than what is available in my part of the world.

                [–]manwhy 10 points11 points  (17 children)

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                I desire more than what is available in my part of the world.

                If I can't break into the elite within a decade or so, I'll be moving to a place with a less "empowered" government. That seems like the most logical solution for both of us.

                [–]LetThemEatWar32 6 points7 points  (15 children)

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                What country are you imagining to be any better?

                [–]reckas 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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                Contrary to what 999x666 said, I would be looking more towards nations that are still relatively nice but your money goes way farther. Trust me when I say you should consider Croatia, Serbia, or Northern Greece.

                [–]manwhy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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                I'm of the opinion that you would have a more fulfilling life as an elite during essentially any time period in any civilization than as a commoner then, now, or hundreds of years in the future. Status is relative, not absolute.

                To answer your question, I imagine that any less developed country with a good climate would do, so long as the government is stable and the women are beautiful. Moving to a poorer country gives you more purchasing power, social status, and in all cities around the world the Western comforts are more or less the same. Water, electricity, transportation, technology, the Internet, and so on.

                [–]temparooney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                Go where they grow coffee. Perfect climate year round, that's what coffee trees need.

                So end up somewhere equatorial at 3000 - 4000 feet elevation. Probably have to learn Spanish in most of those places, but it's not hard.

                [–]999x666 -1 points0 points  (10 children)

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                Sweden, Norway, New Zealand, Australia, Iceland, Netherlands, or Switzerland.

                [–]8n0n 5 points6 points  (3 children)

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                Australia

                Has been turning more dog eat dog since the last Federal election, I advise looking for safer harbors elsewhere.

                [–]DafyddBreen 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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                New Zealander here and it's pretty much the same.

                Probably gonna move to Prague after I get my qualifications.

                [–]LetThemEatWar32 8 points9 points  (4 children)

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                I thought some of those Nordic countries were tougher with regulations than the US?

                [–]colovick 6 points7 points  (1 child)

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                Better quality of life, less hassle, more taxes, but it's easier to live with... Especially if you bring enough money to pay cash for a home and have a job lined up before you move

                [–]temparooney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                Bringing cash to buy a home in those places requires quite a bit of cash!

                [–]Menadian -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                There is some... however in a lot of ways you get a huge degree of freedom too in our countries.

                [–]Dark_Shroud -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                Yes but a lot less bullshit. They're up front with their agenda & rules. It makes it easier to deal with.

                [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                new zealand, land of the free

                [–]technocratofzigurrat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                which country are you in currently

                [–]1independentmale 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                I wish it were still that easy for most.

                I hate it when people minimize the accomplishments of others with this line. It sets aside all of their hard work while simultaneously making excuses for the one who states it. It says, "Yeah, well, you got a head start. You're tall/handsome/have rich parents/got lucky at x. That's why you can do it and I can't." It's really a lose/lose statement for both of you.

                Shit is hard. Ain't no easy way about it. It takes conscious effort every goddamn day to achieve a high level of success at anything, especially relationships.

                [–]Blankworry 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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                Leave the US is what I can recommend. I've been an expat now for almost a decade and I can't ever think of going back. Business is easier and the women are better.... much better.

                [–]temparooney 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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                Where are you now?

                [–]Blankworry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                Russia, Moscow. I was in the UK though and parts of Central America. I want to eventually move back to Central America to start a business and raise a family. Russia is wonderful as a young man, but I would not want to have my kids raised here.

                [–]Wrobbler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                Nice to hear another RP'er Dad in a LTR speak. I found TRP late too but I am making the most of my life with the family and taking lots of valueable learning from here to work, play and to better myself and be a great role model for my boys. Its good thinking about them having a head start with a RP dad.

                [–]manwhy 6 points7 points  (1 child)

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                Couple of notes: as I'm sure you know, people love to play the victim. All that external locus of control really crushes a person. Also, thank those fatties that pay for a gym membership and don't go. They're subsidizing it for the rest of us. Hell, that could be a slogan: "Your gym membership is a bargain thanks to the generous donations of the fatties of your neighborhood. Thank a fatty today."

                [–]Deano101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                "Your gym membership is a bargain thanks to the generous donations of the fatties of your neighborhood. Thank a fatty today."

                Love it!

                [–]trpalternate 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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                If you ever want kids, be aware they take time. Hobbies take a back seat to the importance of bonding with my son and being a role model. Frankly I have more fun with my son.

                I just found out that I have a kid on the way. I'm not looking forward to the diapers and screaming, but I am really looking forward to spending time with them when they're older and teaching him or her what I know. I was fortunate enough to have a pretty awesome father and I really want to pay it forward with my kids.

                [–]temparooney 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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                Congrats, may you have many more. Diapers are diapers. Probably not too much screaming unless the baby is colicky. A young baby is a strange sort of creature -- enjoy!

                [–]trpalternate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                Thanks man.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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                [deleted]

                  [–]icouldhavehaditall 63 points64 points  (7 children)

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                  Lost it at 'SMV of a chair'

                  [–]Fallen_Angle 42 points43 points  (1 child)

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                  getting up real early in the morning to fish

                  real early

                  reel early

                  Heh.

                  Also, they want you to be married so there aren't any living examples of a happy person who doesn't need a spouse right now.

                  [–]t21spectre 15 points16 points  (0 children)

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                  I'm pretty sure this is why my brother's wife hates me. I'm a regular reminder of how great it is for a man being unmarried and /r/childfree. Pure freedom.

                  [–]hamstercide 56 points57 points  (14 children)

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                  Happy wife, happy life, you know?

                  I winced.

                  Great writing and great story OP.

                  [–]bluemyselfearly19 13 points14 points  (0 children)

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                  Happy wife, happy life, you know?

                  A happy king is a happy kingdom. If you fix the king, the whole kingdom is happy.

                  -Patrice O'Neal

                  If these whipped guys want to continue life that way, that's on them, lol.

                  [–]frequentlywrong 23 points24 points  (1 child)

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                  This quote is actually true. A happy woman will make her husband happy. But to do that the husband needs to be his own man that she admires and respects. Clueless betas interpret this quote as needing to supplicate to her immediate desires.

                  [–]trpalternate 15 points16 points  (0 children)

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                  I personally think the quote is backwards. Women take the shape of their container, so if you fix yourself so that you're happy and successful, she will be happy as well.

                  Happy life, happy wife.

                  [–]Incepto_ne_desistam 7 points8 points  (3 children)

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                  My buddy (engaged not married yet) threw me this line after I questioned checking with his wife to see if he could go out.

                  [–]Sturmgeist781 18 points19 points  (2 children)

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                  checking with his wife to see if he could go out.

                  Dogs need permission to go outside. Men should not.

                  [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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                  I got married pretty young (25) before I knew much anything about women. I used to ask for her input on finances and if I could go out. It was disaster.

                  She wasted money to the point where I was always struggling to pay my bills and she was always pissed off if I wanted to do something with friends. Of course she hated everyone I knew so she never wanted to go to gatherings with me, so I'd go alone and then she'd constantly be checking up on me.

                  After several years of that not working, even before I found this sub, I decided to take charge for my sanity. I moved us way the fuck away from her mother, closed the joint bank account, and make all decisions.

                  We still have arguments on occasion, but I'm much more mellow because my stress level is down, I have more time and money for hobbies (up from none), and I don't have to beg her to do shit with me outside the house. I wish I could go back and punch 25-year-old me in the face for being such a pussy.

                  [–]Dark_Shroud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  I'm currently an ex-banker that's going to have to go back into the system.

                  Anyway my #1 piece of advice was to have personal accounts and a joint account for bills if needed. Each person has their paychecks go into their personal accounts and then transfer their share into the joint account.

                  Retirement accounts, never have her name on those as anything other than a beneficiary. Same goes for your personal account. Put her only as a beneficiary in case you die so she can take ownership without serious legal hoops to jump through. Remember to have her do this with her accounts for you.

                  [–]Fallen_Angle 20 points21 points  (6 children)

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                  [–]sway_usa[S] 15 points16 points  (5 children)

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                  I had to try not to laugh or cringe. It was bad.

                  [–]hamstercide 2 points3 points  (4 children)

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                  How was it that the irony of this statement went unnoticed by him, in spite of his unhappiness being made plainly obvious in the preceding part of the conversation?

                  And as another question, what would have happened if you had been honest with him about the girl "she's a single mother, and I don't do single mothers". At least it might help them calibrate the girls they'll send at you.

                  [–]sway_usa[S] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

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                  The problem with "I don't do single mothers" is that it would likely set her off, or at least start an argument. She wouldn't be able to see it from my point of view. She also tried to hook me up with her landwhale friend by setting us up together in the wedding party (I was a groomsman, she was a bridesmaid). I called her out for that setup and it started a huge dramatic issue that almost got me kicked out of the wedding party.

                  It made sense to her to just say "we were too different", without telling her exactly why.

                  [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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                  "Sorry, I don't like people who look like her."

                  [–]colovick 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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                  Neither would benefit him in the slightest... The first gets a timid testicles in her purse reaction which he'll discuss with her later, causing him to be pushes out of his friend's life. The second will cause a scene on the spot and label him an outcast. Dangerous and never to be invited over again under any circumstances.

                  I've done it and lost many a married friend... Maintain appearance of status quo unless you really like stirring up shit or alienating yourself

                  [–]3kempff 63 points64 points  (5 children)

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                  the gift table

                  Cringe. The child isn't old enough to talk, and the party thrown in his honor is so big that there needs to be an entire table set aside for gifts?

                  Sounds like this child was brought into the world, not for his own sake, but to be the ultimate attention-getting device for Mommy.

                  [–]sway_usa[S] 42 points43 points  (2 children)

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                  You nailed it right on the head. The wedding was this way. She even made him convert to Catholic so they could have a Catholic wedding. It was all about her, bride zilla. We all took bets on how long after the wedding when the attention wore off before she wanted a kid to fill the attention void. She lasted 3 years, longer than I would have thought.

                  [–]3kempff 31 points32 points  (0 children)

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                  They waited three years before having children? Ah, so she's that kind of Catholic.

                  Yep, civil divorce in 10 ... 9 ... 8 ...

                  [–]t21spectre 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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                  She lasted 3 years, longer than I would have thought.

                  What was his income 3 years ago and now? I guarantee she was keeping that in mind.

                  [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  I know someone who's kid turned 1 recently. If it was my kid I'd maybe have a bit of a get-together for the adults but nothing big, the kid will never remember any of it. But maybe this is why I'm not a parent, right? I'm thinking practically, a woman would think emotionally about the anniversary.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  Bring forth the ceremonial offerings!!

                  [–]1johnnight 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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                  "Thanks for coming! We have carbs, carbs, carbs, and carbs and carbs over there. If you want something to drink, we have all different kinds of liquid carbs."

                  "Everyone here is fat. Not pudgy, not overweight, but fat."

                  [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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                  Shit. Feminism rewrote the social contract. If a woman doesn't want to take care of herself, take care of a kid, then I don't have to take care of her.

                  TL;DR: BITCH BE GONE!

                  [–]joder_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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                  despite having the SMV of a chair

                  Idk man, chairs get a lot of ass

                  [–]jakethesnake76 20 points21 points  (0 children)

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                  Happy wife, happy life, you know?"

                  So let me take stock of this. Everyone is fat, works more than twice the hours they should be working at a job they hate, to buy shit they don't need. They have a wife who is just as fat, and doesn't appreciate the sacrifices they made to keep it together. She will likely divorce him one day, despite having the SMV of a chair. Any hobbies, projects, or dreams he once had are shelved in favor of a family that barely acknowledges his existence.edit..

                  Neither He or his WIFE is happy and placating her makes her more angry.

                  [–]Karmatsocheff 9 points10 points  (3 children)

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                  This was slowly becoming every social event for me (I'm in my late 20's). I packed up and moved out west. Fuck all that noise.

                  [–]t21spectre 7 points8 points  (2 children)

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                  And the people at these social events become noticeably more and more pretentious.

                  [–]Plumerian 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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                  They're trying to convince themselves they love their lives by hopefully convincing others.

                  [–]1sailorJery 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  my friend tries very hard to make me feel bad about how he has his shit together cuz he's married to a woman who seems pretty decent and is pretty, but she also fucked one of our friends so I don't sweat him too much.

                  [–]ComradePsycho 8 points9 points  (3 children)

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                  I love how people always complain about their relationships, yet always seem to want to encourage you to be in one. Misery loves company I suppose.

                  Then again they're perhaps an unconscious warning from the older men I've been around. "Wait till you got a wife, kids and a house to pay for" is what I always heard. Women are certainly worse about this, they don't want you to escape, not if they can somehow benefit from you being trapped.

                  One woman sets another up with a man, that woman owes her matchmaker something in return. Blue pill men are just happy to have a woman. The thought of somehow slipping into that terrifies me.

                  [–]t21spectre 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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                  I've had many different jobs, most working with men 10-20 years my senior. ALL but one of them, from the many different jobs, said in some form that they don't regret their kids, but marriage sucks. If they could go back to their 20s again they never would of done it. Most of these men were 40s-50s and had been married 10+ years, some were divorced, some remarried, some still in their 1st marriage.

                  [–]ComradePsycho 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  kids are supposed to make it worth it, but there's no way I could find a trustworthy woman to have kids with.

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  "Wait till you got a wife, kids and a house to pay for"

                  I hear this all the damn time.

                  I don't get it. When I was engaged people kept telling me it's the end of my happiness. Gonna have to sacrifice it all for the wife and kids, bro! Happy wife, happy life bro! Gonna have to work for a six figure job and get a BMW 7-series and a Toyota Sienna minivan! Gotta have that million dollar house with 3.5k square feet, you know the wife and kids need space! Gotta give up golf and sell all those dangerous-as-hell motorcycles!

                  I was blue pill as fuck before I got married too. But then I lucked out TBH and married a wonderful woman and a great companion. I was overweight (I still am really, but it's quickly becoming the reverse of that) and only just beginning to become stylish. She's thin herself and encourages me to exercise and be the best man I can be. Eating right, spending my time wonderfully. I've never been better.

                  Seeing other people just living their lives as they lay and without passion is the greatest motivation anyone can give. Don't waste the life that you've been given.

                  C'est la vie. Que sera. Life. It's goddamn amazing I tell you.

                  [–]ThisShitRules 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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                  This story reminds me of this Christmas article from T-Nipple ([5] BTW), that I enjoy reading every year when it's posted on their facebook wall.

                  [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

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                  If you don't want to be like them, don't be like them. It's pretty simple. Getting married isn't going to turn you into your buddy.

                  [–]cwschizzy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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                  My parents in a nutshell. As well as my managers at work. I'm so glad I decided against marriage before it was too late.

                  [–]everyone_wins 14 points15 points  (2 children)

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                  Damn good writing, my friend. You could totally have a successful red pill blog just by writing stories like this. Sometimes stories are more informative than well thought out essays. Bravo!

                  [–]sway_usa[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

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                  Thank you. I've never really given much thought to writing, but I would be happy to give it a go.

                  [–]everyone_wins 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  It's really easy, let me know if you want help getting your site up and running.

                  [–]WilliamGrand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  Having kids is very limiting, but if you wanted kids then you will enjoy spending more time with them than on other hobbies.

                  [–]einexile 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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                  You don't have to be a doormat to have a child. Two children, that I can't tell you about. But neither marriage nor fatherhood are what's stopping your buddy from standing up, proclaiming that he is not a slave, and walking out that door. He doesn't have to walk out long enough for the kid to notice, just long enough for the wife to remember that he owns himself.

                  The important thing is not to get stars in your eyes about the idea of having a family. It's easy to forget things that were important in your life, to accidentally put distance between yourself and those things; then you look back and see that in at least some aspects you're trapped and it's your fault. The things you imagined were passing amusements turned out to be lifelong pleasures, and now they're gone.

                  And when your unhappy situation is your own fault, your non-douchebag options thin out dramatically.

                  While we're at it, no self-respecting mother would be comfortable with a husband who thinks happy wife, happy life. If you're afraid of your own wife, who else will cow you? And sooner or later in front of your kid. Your bank, your landlord, your kid's teachers, other kids' parents. For a husband to be afraid of his wife is frightening to her and destabilizing to the household.

                  And Jesus, vetoing a fishing trip for Father's Day - talk about a shit test.

                  [–]sway_usa[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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                  The worst part is: he fishes in a pond in his own neighborhood. It's not like he's driving 30 minutes or anything.

                  [–]RedEcstasy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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                  However, at the same time, I know the consequences of trying to make my argument. Rocking the boat, deviating from the script, going off course...people don't want to hear it. And it's not worth my time to even try and convince them anymore. People either finally desire the truth and find it themselves, or they stay in their bubble.

                  I believe many users have this urge to be a hero. To change society and to try to "fix" things. After all we're men, and when we see a problem we naturally want to find a way to correct it. But this society will never get back in track. It needs to collapse, and it will do so in due time.

                  The Red Pill is not a guide on how to improve society or your close friends. They will never welcome it's message because the lie is way more satisfying than having to admit being wrong. The Red Pill is only the knowledge to improve YOURSELF. Use it the way you see it fit.

                  [–]the99percent1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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                  The Red Pill is only the knowledge to improve YOURSELF. Use it the way you see it fit.

                  You should see the shit storm I left on TBP for saying the same thing...

                  [–]dancingwithcats 10 points11 points  (6 children)

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                  I read things like this and just become thankful for having a great wife. She's hard working, sexy, respectful of my place as head of the household, and just all around a joy to be with most of the time. Sure, we are human and there are days when she rubs me the wrong way or I her. Those days are seldom. We do our own things without each other often enough, guy's or girl's nights out for example, but we also enjoy each others' company quite a bit. Seventeen years and going. I'm looking forward to the next 30 or 40.

                  [–]pogra 6 points7 points  (1 child)

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                  you just described what a lot of people would sacrifice a lot for.

                  [–]dancingwithcats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  Yep, she's a keeper. Marriage isn't for everyone and too many people rush into it or marry the wrong person. I got it right the second time around.

                  [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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                  [deleted]

                    [–]dancingwithcats 2 points3 points  (2 children)

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                    I'll lose all of a second of sleep if you're skeptical :) I certainly have no need to feed my ego by lying on an internet forum.

                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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                    [deleted]

                      [–]dancingwithcats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                      I've thought about it. I may do so one day when I have time to do it justice.

                      [–]itwasntme19 5 points6 points  (4 children)

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                      most of my friend's marriages are in the toilet but most are still together cause they just don't want to start over or is financially easier or until she leaves. one my friends inherited some money,has a nice house,wife is a teacher,they have 2 kids,they were HS sweethearts. he throws parties often at his house.when the wife starts drinking she turns full blown lesbian with her teacher friends in front of everyone while he signs karaoke pretending he doesn't see anything.

                      my other friend seemed to have the perfect marriage. 3 kids,good paying job,they just got a house,wife stays at home. she always tries to fix me up with her single or divorced friends. ended up sleeping with 2 of them but no long term relationships one was crazy and liked making up huge lies for attention and the other one was too damaged emotionally after her marriage collapse.anyways,found out through her young cousin that she's been having a 2 year affair with her best friend's husband.they have even christened each others kids.I think my friend know but he just pretends it ain't happening.

                      and that's only 2 of my friends. most aren't happy they just go through the motions. I've said it here before. of all my friends one or two seem really happy with their lives. so the odds aren't good when it come to marriage.

                      [–]Wheat-Thins 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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                      You're not gonna tell your buddy that his wife is cheating on him?

                      [–]itwasntme19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                      I suspect he knows and him avoiding me leads me to believe that he knows I know and doesn't want to hear what my stand on that is. lately he surrounds himself with people that won't challenge what he wants to believe.

                      [–]Ferinex 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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                      Gonna say something to your buddy? I would, but I like to rock the boat. I like to tip it over even. Sometimes people need to take a swim

                      [–]itwasntme19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                      I agree with you. that's probably the reason he is avoiding me. I let them have it

                      [–]choomguy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                      "Happy wife, happy life" fuck I hate that saying. If I see that on a Planck in your house, I'm going to tell you how much it offends me and haul ass.

                      Happy me, happy life, and it'll probably rub off on the wife. If not, oh well.

                      [–]chillmonkey88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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                      I get this quite often minus the fat... All my friends and family ask "why haven't you found someone yet? You have so much going for you right now!" My typical reply is "have not found her yet" my thoughts say "yes I do have things going for me and hunger for more... why sacrifice all that and settle"... another one is "you're happy single now but you don't want to die alone do you?" And I think that would be the most peaceful way to go quite honestly...

                      [–]watersign 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                      Everyone dies alone, but many will lives their lives alone

                      [–]JaimeGoldenhand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                      What I liked about your post was that you didn't go for the "Why haven't you settled down? We all have, why can't you?" as if it's a race. I've noticed a lot of new members are either enraged by this suggestion, and feel the need to criticize their fellow man for doing so. If you are truly confident in what you are doing, you have no need to say anything. I don't care how great you are doing: be humble.

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                      I've watched two of my closest friends do this. Went from parties on the wake boarding boat (AZ lakes are great, I encourage all of you to witness it for yourself), weekend out of state snowboarding trips, hunting, fishing, something as simple as a workout and a few beers with the guys to...

                      ...nothing.

                      Once those hooks are in, it's hard to convince them otherwise. It's like watching a friend die. One of them got hospitalized for exhaustion and cardiac related issues because he was working upwards of 90 hours a week and it burned him out. His reasoning was because he picked up a second job and had to pay the mortgage on his new home, costing him way more money than he makes just in public safety.

                      Make wise decisions.

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                      I'm 26 right now, I have been getting this from loads of my family lately. A load of my cousins have been getting married, almost all of my friends are getting married, and so on and so forth.

                      Every friggin time I've had the "you'll be next, when are you going to settle down, when are you getting married, it's about time you had some kids" bullshit.

                      My response is always "why?", to which nobody has ever produced a satisfactory answer. It just stops them dead in their tracks. Why would I get married? Why would I have children?

                      Also, in terms of my friends, the single common factor among all of them who have got married/engaged/cohabit is that they have become boring as fuck. None of them do anything, or will do anything without permission from the girlfriend.

                      I really don't understand it.

                      [–]raceAround126 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                      Took my exit when I had the chance. Not looking back since!

                      [–]leodoestheopposite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                      Correction: the part where you say to buy shit they don't need should read to buy shit they don't need with money they don't have, everything else checks.

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                      She will likely divorce him one day, despite having the SMV of a chair.

                      At least you can sit on a chair while you jerk off to porn.

                      [–]420xxJpxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                      This is amazing. This is exactly why I got divorced. I was 19 when I got married, and I started to see myself losing control of everything. Glad I divorced her because my life has been getting better each day.

                      [–]synpse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                      haha. make yourself happy first. then if that makes "the wife" happy.. ta-da! if not.. then no unhappy wife. end of rant.

                      I woke up to an exwife phone call and "i dont like how you talkuhed tuh me" so i hung up on her.. and went about my day. She can bitch at someone else when she doesnt like the tone people talk to her in. Not me. I dont care.

                      [–]chill_geddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                      No bullshit hearing about your friend losing his juice is sad. Another fallen solider we have lost in the war against mediocrity

                      [–]cherrypoptart27 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                      She will likely divorce him one day, despite having the SMV of a chair.

                      Eloquently put, sir. I credit you one internet.

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                      Slow Clap

                      [–]watersign -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

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                      hahaha, dude!! tell me about it. my only goal is to get a high paying job so i can screw off and bang chicks, drive a nice car maybe and just enjoy life. i cant even imagine having to work for someone else at this point in my life.

                      [–]penhova 4 points5 points  (2 children)

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                      but you are gonna end up working for your boss...

                      [–]watersign 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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                      theres a difference between wanting to work and having to work

                      [–]penhova 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                      and there's also a diference between working for your boss and working for your self...

                      [–]TheSKSpecial -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                      This one cut to the bone, because before I found TRP I was that guy (minus the obesity).

                      [–]BluepillProfessor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                      Oh you just haven't met the riiiight girl. Someday SHE will find YOU and sweep YOU off your feet. Then you can work 76 hours a week to support a fat wife who holds you in contempt and vetoes your every decision.

                      Yayyy!

                      [–]asimplescribe -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

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                      Makes me think of Fight Club.