"Everyone here is fat. Not pudgy, not overweight, but fat." I couldn't help myself from allowing my mind to have that thought. I wandered over to the gift table to drop off the toy car that I had purchased just days ago. It was next to at least 2 dozen other presents that I knew in my mind would either be eaten, destroyed, or forgotten in a month. It wasn't the kid's fault, he was only one year old. He seemed just as unhappy as I was.
"Thanks for coming! We have cake, cupcakes, cookies, and chips and salsa over there. If you want something to drink, we have all different kinds of soda."
"No thanks, I'll just have some water."
"Okay then. Uh oh, I'll be right back. The wife looks pissed."
Of course she was. She always was.
My friend walked back after finally placating his childish wife. I get to see him around twice a year now. He used to be one of the funnest people I know. We would be out until 5 in the morning doing absolutely nothing, and enjoying every minute. He was never a thin guy, but he was the biggest I'd ever seen. So was his wife.
"So what have you been up to?"
"Work man. I clocked 76 hours last week. Kids are expensive, you know? And when I get home, the wife just wants to rest, so I spend the rest of my time with the little guy. So that's my life now."
"I hear ya man. How's the old car you've been working on? Finally ready to take it to the track?"
"I had to cut back spending on it, time and money just don't seem to go as far as they used to."
"Damn. That sucks. What do you get to do that's fun anymore?"
"Sometimes I get up real early and go fishing for an hour before work. I was going to spend father's day doing this, but the wife vetoed it. Happy wife, happy life, you know?"
I spent the rest of the party avoiding most conversations, just staying long enough to make my friend feel like I wanted to be there. I knew a few people in his family, none of them particularly interesting. His wife fancies herself quite the matchmaker, however.
"So did things ever work out with you and Laura?"
"Nah, I think we were just too different."
(She had tried to set me up with her friend. Her friend actually was quite attractive, but had a kid with another guy who was in jail).
"She was soooo perfect though. I thought you guys would hit it off!"
"Yeah, she was nice. I think we just don't have enough in common."
(I slept with her, but she was interested in finding a beta bux. I wasn't interested in being one).
"Well, we gotta find you someone else. Almost all of our friends are married and having kids. You've gotta be next! When are you going to settle down?"
So let me take stock of this. Everyone is fat, works more than twice the hours they should be working at a job they hate, to buy shit they don't need. They have a wife who is just as fat, and doesn't appreciate the sacrifices they made to keep it together. She will likely divorce him one day, despite having the SMV of a chair. Any hobbies, projects, or dreams he once had are shelved in favor of a family that barely acknowledges his existence.
However, at the same time, I know the consequences of trying to make my argument. Rocking the boat, deviating from the script, going off course...people don't want to hear it. And it's not worth my time to even try and convince them anymore. People either finally desire the truth and find it themselves, or they stay in their bubble.
"Hopefully reeeeaaaallll soon."
So, which one of you are next?