all 132 comments

[–]reedrichardsstretch 65 points66 points  (35 children)

Lifting weights made me feel inadequate, cause that dude on the bench next to me was putting up double my weight. Fuck that, not doing it.

This resonates with me so much. Need to get out of my own head and way and get to it.

[–]lewd_operator 59 points60 points  (15 children)

I seriously don't mind this at all. The big guys are usually the most eager to help a brother out.

[–]DexterousRichard 24 points25 points  (14 children)

Do they help white guys too?

[–]lewd_operator 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Haha, everyone is a bro in the gym.

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 4 points5 points  (12 children)

I will if someone asks me, nobody does. Gaining mass is simple for me, cutting fat has become a pain in my ass due to age. Most people just stare at me when I'm in the gym, they won't talk to me at all.

[–]DexterousRichard 5 points6 points  (11 children)

I was joking, but now I have a real question. How do you cut fat? I want to get back into lifting after a long time but first I want to lose my flab. I have some around the waist and some annoying flab around my chest and pecs.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Don't wait. The bigger your muscle the easier it is to cut the flab. Bigger muscles burn more calories just sitting around doing nothing, so start lifting AND losing flab.

[–]Wheyman92 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Bigger muscles burn more calories?

All of my what.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/weight-loss/in-depth/metabolism/art-20046508

The bodies of people who are larger or have more muscle burn more calories, even at rest ... since muscle tissue burns more calories than fat tissue does, muscle mass is a key factor in weight loss.

http://muscleevo.net/muscle-metabolism/#.VFUz44XSX7k

In contrast, the resting metabolic rate of skeletal muscle clocks in at just 6 calories per pound, with fat burning just 2 calories per pound [5].

So, adding 20lbs of lean muscle will burn about 120 calories more per day at rest. However, if in recovery (rest days between workouts) they will burn significantly more than this. This doesn't count the caloric burn of the workout itself either, which is significant.

So figure (by the second article's cited study) that in a 3x/wk lifting routine you'll likely burn somewhere around 400 recovery calories on your off days, 1000 calories or more in your workouts plus 420 calories per pound of lean muscle. So if you grab your newbie gains of say, 10 lbs lean muscle, you are looking at somewhere around 2000 calories extra burn per week, or about 1/2 lb of fat loss per week if eating stays consistent. This is with no food intake change. Eat at a 500 calorie deficit for the 1 lb/wk loss and you would be increasing your rate of fat loss by 50% while getting a head start on your muscle bulking.

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Diet mainly. GayLubeOil has some good info on it, check his submission history. I have to nearly starve myself, I have some issues that don't make sense. Most men aren't like me, so standard stuff will work.

If you're going to lift and get big, do it so you have symmetry. I got my mass from my job overworking me, so I look like a brick. Even a slight amount of fat and I look like a disgusting fat fuck because everything is big. Don't be me.

[–]Yoda7 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Have you really looked into your hormone levels? If those are off, you are in a world of hurt when it comes to dialing your metabolism in. Good news is it can be fixed, but its not cheap, quick, or easy.

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah my testosterone is crazy low, two points below bare minimum. Since I've been on shots I can control body fat easier, and I'm packing muscle on again without trying. Lots of fucked up things in my history, like allergy diets that were like the Atkins diet, all meat, not much else.

[–]SeekingTheWay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any constant movement that raises your heart rate to about 150. I suggest running. You should always be able to breathe just with your nose so adjust the tempo to that regardless the speed. Run twice a week about 6mi and you will be losing fat like motherfucker. I have lost 24 pounds in the last 2 months.

[–]Wheyman92 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I suggest reading the sidebar and frequenting /r/bodybuilding.

Fat should be looked at a reserve amount of energy for your body.

Fat(and muscle) are both created by consuming a caloric intake that is larger than that your total daily energy expenditure. This surplus allows your body to produce both muscle (from resistance training) and fat (if you don't workout. Though while putting on lean muscle some fat should e expected)

Simply eat at a caloric deficit while working out and incorporate regular amounts of cardio in order to lose fat.

Good luck

[–]DexterousRichard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I have read a lot of sites, but info about this sort of thing is hard to sift through.

Why is cardio important to cutting fat? Wouldn't it be fine just lifting and eating a caloric deficit while keeping mostly a protein and fat diet?

[–]Kiwikeeper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only real answer to "How do I lose fat" is: get up early everyday and go for a run before breakfast. Don't eat outside meals. Don't drink soda. Don't think about it

[–]ocho-muerte 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Don't feel inadequate when you see those guys, they have put in the time. Use that as motivation to put in the time! The only person you should be competing with in the gym is yourself yesterday.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (7 children)

If you haven't ever seriously lifted before and you really start to get into it, and make sure you get good and sore every day in the weight room, you'll increase your weights like 30% in the first couple weeks.

[–]reedrichardsstretch 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I'm not a complete novice, but never done it consistently for any appreciable amount of time. I'm excited to get started, but intimidated at the same time. Not very RP of me, I know.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It sucks when you start.

For me, that's a little over a year ago.

Now, it's habit and I feel physically bad if I miss more than 3 days without a good lift. It's awesome when you reach that point.

[–]MagnanimousGenius 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Going consistently rolls into an addiction quickly

The best kind of addiction: and consistent lifting is conducive to constant gains

[–]djvita 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and better yet it becomes a positive feedback loop, you want more so you lift more and become more dedicated

[–]tcbringhurst 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If you want an easy routine to get started, look up strong lifts 5X5. It's the program I've been on for the past month and love it. Progression happens each week, so your confidence boosts a ton when you're lifting heavier than you ever have

[–]reedrichardsstretch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've definitely looked into that routine before, but thanks for mentioning it again, another endorsement.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just work hard every day. You'll get big gains right away as long as you don't cut your workouts short and really push yourself. If you can do a couple extra sets, even though it's more than you planned on doing, do it.

[–]SirMoistalot 2 points3 points  (2 children)

About three years ago I was a hot shot powerlifter setting records etc, ended up injuring my back. Was extremely depressing and hard to find motivation to get back into the gym made me extreme BP, best thing I did was man the fuck up and get through those doors each time you go it gets easier and you get "bitten by the iron bug". I am now at my lowest body fat percentage, weight considerably less and can now squat well over 500lbs. Does wonders for the confidence.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I hurt my elbow pretty good doing dumbells with bad form. I'm going in now at pretty ridiculous weights (what I can handle without any kind of elbow pain). I sometimes feel like I have to excuse these pussy weights. But really, no one at the gym cares what I'm lifting. They all care what they are lifting. I don't need to make excuses to them. And I'm there, which is the important thing.

[–]SirMoistalot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes you just need to eat humble pie and start at the very beginning again. What in the end separates you from everyone else is your determination and resolve.

[–]lloopy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Today was the first day at the gym where I didn't feel inadequate. I got in, did my sets, and left. I have a long way to go to reach my goals, but I'm definitely on the right path.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

r/bodyweightfitness you don't have to start at the gym.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't think of them as competitors. Think of them as inspiration to keep going.

[–]miles37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's negative vs positive mental attitude. Negative attitude, you see someone who's better than you at something and feel resentment, positive attitude you feel inspired. (This is a simplification, there are more possibilities than just this)

I learned how to harness the power of a positive mental attitude through the Napoleon Hill book "Success through a positive mental attitude", among other sources (e.g. 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad').

[–]1independentmale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck the other people. Don't compare yourself to them. Compare yourself to you. Be better tomorrow than you are today.

There will always be someone bigger, better, faster, stronger, etc.

[–]reedrichardsstretch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all the encouragemet and advise all!

This is the best of what TRP is all about.

[–]dawg826 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Learn to love fear. Every day push at the edge of your comfort zone and it will not be a day wasted.

[–]Sandkasten 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Push further. Leave your comfort zone.

[–]1oldredder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very true. Even seeing obvious flags to me tonight out dancing that particular girls were going to be bitchy/unfriendly I did it. I don't need to, not for any kind of validation. I don't give a fuck. But literally the next thought in my head is "hm, relax and pick the unchallenging path? No, not today. Let's rile shit up & see what happens" and so I did. :)

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (5 children)

Younger me was as courageous as he was stupid. And now that I've been on TRP almost 2 months, I realize that's a strong correlation. It's not "smart" to go lift or get tapped out. It's not "smart" to get rejected over and over and over and over again until you finally get into the swing of things.

It's stupid. To your psyche, it's just the worst thing. Your whole being goes, "Why are we doing this? There's got to be an easier way. This is retarded. Just get a prostitute or fucking stay single. Jesus, this is ridiculous." And that's the nature of change. It always seems ridiculous within the current system, that is until the change becomes the new system.

Then one day you wake up and everything you do is smart. It fits. It makes sense. There are results and FRs to back it up. But you have to go through the initial breakthrough first, and I understand why some people don't make it through.

They don't lack intelligence. They lack the capacity to be stupid.

[–]chaosbox 13 points14 points  (1 child)

They don't lack intelligence. They lack the capacity to be stupid.

That's good. Another way to put it is they make the safe decisions to keep what they have, but never take any risks to gain something more. The key is to realize that you only get to live for like 80 short years and you're gonna die no matter what, so you don't get to keep what you have. You're gonna lose everything anyway, so you might as well take risks time and time again to get the best you can get before you die.

Most people here have already spent 1/4 of their life. They've only got 3/4 left before everything is gone and nothing matters anymore. That's a sobering thought.

[–]let_terror_reign 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Preach it, brother. That line is so damn profound. Lacking the capacity to be stupid. Have you read mastery by Robert Greene? He waxes eloquent about this very idea.

[–]InflatableRaft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not the capacity to be stupid, it's just easier to follow the path of least resistance. True lasting change is hard. It's physically and psychologically uncomfortable and most people aren't interested in doing it. Some people have hardship thrust upon them, but for most of us in Western societies, we need to seek out adversity to experience it and the all the benefits of overcoming it.

[–]Blocksblox 18 points19 points  (0 children)

One of the best FRs I've read on here. Thanks for the report.

TRP has given me the knowledge and courage to do what I've been avoiding for 30 years: face reality.

I also quit my unfulfilling "good career" job (last shift was yesterday). I am ending a marriage with a toxic BPD abuser. I am getting jacked. I am eating well. I am fixing some shitty tattoos that influence what clothes I wore for years.

Looking back on me pre-TRP life, i can't fucking believe the shit I surrounded myself with. I can't believe how I wasted my time... my life. Is it any wonder the life I fell into was shitty?

You are an inspiration. You will be a good father.

[–]teeelo 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Im not having a great day. Relapses and shit. I often read things on this website that 'trigger' my past feelings and beta blue emotions.

Some of your post did that today. But not only will I get over it, I appreciate what it did to me as well.

Moving on...moving up. Maybe just a little rest first.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Emotions are neither beta, nor blue pill.

It's how you handle them that makes the distinction.

[–]teeelo 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Nah you misunderstand. Im talking about the Blue Pill type of thinking that conjures up hurtful self depreciating emotions. i'm Not saying that emotions are Beta or Blue.\

BTW I know it is redundant but I would read your FR's if you ever decide to share them.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I may write more of them when time allows, but FRs can be a little cringeworthy. Too often it feels like boasting. I try only to post the FRs that I think are useful for others,.

And thanks for clarifying. I think I read your comment the wrong way.

[–]Quansau18 14 points15 points  (42 children)

This is my only qualm with this sub, I can concur with 99% but I don't think we should go out fucking chicks in relationships/brides to be and absolve ourselves of moral quandary. if the chick doesn't tell you till after the act that is different, but to me maintaining frame also consists of being able to say no to a chick despite my ability to bone; because of my ability to take social circumstances into account.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 9 points10 points  (37 children)

I certainly didn't try to fuck the bride to be. In fact, I was going after her friend.

At one point, the two of them disappeared upstairs for 5 minutes, and came back downstairs. The friend who I had a good rapport with was suddenly cold toward me, and bachelorette was on my balls.

I'm thinking they talked upstairs and Ms. Bachelorette told Friend she wanted to fuck me.

If not me, it would probably have been someone else.

No regrets though.

[–]Gyissan 13 points14 points  (29 children)

The start of your post is of your gf cheating on you and how it upset you. And then you go on to say you banged a bride to be. People here talk about chicks and their cognitive dissonance, but you seem to have it as well.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 15 points16 points  (26 children)

I don't claim that fucking the bride to be was morally okay.

It's meant to illustrate the shift in my life. I started as the guy being cheated on and now I'm te guy being cheated with.

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[deleted]

    [–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    You dudes are getting stuck on this. I'm not boasting.

    I'm reporting that it occurred. I don't care to get opinions or high-gives for it, I just want to show you how real the transition can be. I was NEVER the guy who girls were considering cheating on their SO with. I was the SO who got cheated on.

    [–]Hatorader 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I just want to hear about the gang-bang story. I'm always curious about how someone who's not female ends up in these situations. Maybe cause I wanna end up in a situation like this too.

    [–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    a really slutty college girl. And 4 guys who she wanted to fuck.

    Alcohol helped.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 3 points4 points  (12 children)

    I've been dealing with idiots like the commenter you responded to for over a fucking year here.

    I brought up cuckolding over and over again here, continuously arguing how it doesn't matter. Two people make their decision in the moment and both the man and woman are responsible for it.

    But these idiots don't want to hear it. It always has to be them projecting their past butthurt of being cheated on and then getting angry at guys like you and me who then BECOME the guy she cheated with.

    MGTOWs, "Bro coders", "monk moders" etc are all on this moral crusade that women STILL have no agency and must be protected and owned. And if you violate some other guy's "ownership" of his women, then you are "scum" and "you are exactly what you hated before!"

    Well, excuse me, but some of us didn't come to TRP just because we were cuckolded loser betas before. Some of us recognized RP truths early on and that women will fuck any guy in any situation, regardless of whether she has a bf or not. So some of us don't go around thinking to ourselves "Oh, are my actions keeping my fellow bros down?"

    TL;DR Stop projecting hate onto guys who can/chose to get attached pussy. If you don't want to, then don't.

    [–]let_terror_reign 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    The objection is that you know she might come with you and another dude no matter how alpha if less alpha than you is going to get cheated on. And yet you hit on one anyway.
    That's where the issue lies.
    Personally, I wouldn't if I know the guy. If she has a bf and I don't know him I don't owe him shit.

    [–]MrMagwitch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    .

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm still one of those idiots and I'm trying to figure out why. My mind can be changed, I guess it just hasn't "clicked" for me yet. I think it's fucked up that the girl would do that and I'm mad that she would get away with it. I don't actually hate the men that do it, but I think he should tell the man or not get involved at all. It's not about "violating the ownership" as you say. I just feel empathetic for the dude being cheated and pissed that the girl would get away with it.

    [–]charliebearcunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Now you are talking exactly like the feminists. They don't have integrity, let us not have any either ? Remember who makes these arguments and this is exactly what this sub makes fun of..

    How about respecting yourself to be the guy that won't sleep with women in relationships ?

    How about valuing yourself more than that and making yourself more than just sleeping with other women ? Redpill is more than random sex.

    To me, those women should be disgusting!!

    [–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm not really arguing with them. Doesn't matter to me that they disapprove. Single, engaged, married - they all taste the same to me.

    [–]jelloba 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I can see why you might be upset, but by the time a bride-to-be is even considering fucking some stranger, the cat is out of the bag. At that point, refusing to fuck her would achieve nothing, because if you won't, somebody else will. Hoes gonna hoe, so take advantage of it.

    [–]Gyissan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    But you would let her drag you down to her level?

    [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Can't argue with the Carousel Council.

    You can reject the decision & go elsewhere... but why would you? :)

    [–]Quansau18 0 points1 point  (5 children)

    I still ascribe to the belief that I am responsible for my actions, and I'd personally rather not be that guy. If I find out one of my friends will act this way, unable or unwilling to exert control over their desires, I will lose a great deal of trust for them, and possibly the friendship if I think they're willing to stab me in the back. That dude could have been a friend you just hadn't met yet, and you cut him deep.

    [–]trpfieldreport[S] 13 points14 points  (4 children)

    Look man, I wouldn't touch any girl of my friends, but I'll fuck someone's fiancé if they're all over me in New Orleans and telling me they want me. I don't know the guy, will never meet the guy, and he's an idiot for giving a girl like that a ring.

    I understand the viewpoint, but I don't regret it. I'd do it again, not a second thought. It's not my problem or responsibility to take care of other people's relationships.

    [–]Quansau18 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I do agree that the responsibility to remain faithful does fall upon the two engaged in a relationship, but it's like a fat kid trying not to eat cake on a diet, but in this case you are the cake. She was clearly morally reprehensible, and you seem to have no internal struggle with how it played out. But your argument of "someone else would have if I didn't" does not hold the same weight you give it. It's like killing someone and saying they were obnoxious and someone would have killed them had it not been you. Perhaps it's true, but it could also be wrong. (I'm hyperbolizing to make a point). The true mark of a good man is how he treats a stranger whom he has nothing to gain or lose from. I aim to become a good man, I believe you do as well or you would not be here and I would not spend my time communicating with you. I also acknowledge that each person crafts their moral paradigm based upon their prior interactions with others and social norms, so thanks for expressing yourself as your perspective also causes me to contemplate my path. I hope you reach contentment.

    [–]PorqueChop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    You are shining so bright up on that horsy.

    [–]charliebearcunt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    You are becoming exactly like the people you hate..

    Think about it

    [–]reedrichardsstretch 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    If that's how you want to act, then cool. Sexual strategy is amoral.

    [–]Endorsed Contributordeepthrill 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    The strategy itself is amoral since it's just information. Choosing to act on it can be moral or immoral.

    [–]through_a_ways -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    The strategy itself is amoral since it's just information.

    It's amoral because it concerns itself with objective understanding and results, and pays no attention to "morals" of any sort.

    Choosing to act on it is amoral, but it can at times be immoral or moral, depending on the definition of "morality". Life is amoral. Morals are just social constructs.

    [–]Quansau18 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I don't agree there either, it's all about end results. We agree that girls desire to be objectified/follow an alpha, so on the surface being a dick may appear to be just that, but I see it as satisfying both your desires simultaneously. And it can be done with single chicks and with a little filtration one can easily not fuck girls who are in relationships, however fickle their desires may be. One should be able to distinguish between levels of morality, as in, you don't need to think that just because you've uncovered certain asymmetries in our cultural upbringing that all culture (and moral parameters) are now false and deserve no adherence.

    [–]Tangojokerbravo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Great post, man. It's nice to read a reminder once in a while on not just sexual strategy or men's rights but why most of us found the Pill in the first place. To be better men. Fuck, to actually BE men. To unplug daily and make the choices and sacrifice chasing tail for the truth.

    I got a simple tattoo that reminds me daily to "fall seven times and stand eight." Personally it's my favorite proverb, and it is a constant reminder that I am a man, I will fail, and I will grow from failure each time.

    [–]2asd1100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My ego was hamstring, because facing your inadequacies sucks. It’s easier to deny they exist. The Blue Pill is fucking easier.

    YES!!! I can not hit you guys over the head with this enough times. IF YOU DONT WANT TO DO SOMETHING, THE REASONS YOU DONT WANT TO DO IT ARE MADE UP BY YOUR EGO. The only way to really grow as a person it to find things you don't want to do and go do them(that is maturity). Engage your conscious mind fully and pin that ego to the ground, force him into submission like the little bitch it is.

    [–]MoneyStatusLooks 4 points5 points  (5 children)

    Good report. I enjoyed the read.

    You need to sort out your work life though. Rich alpha beats broke alpha all day long. Theres no nobility in poverty.

    [–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    I have opportunities, and getting work in my current industry wouldn't be too hard.

    [–]MoneyStatusLooks 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    Thats good. Generally speaking, you don't want anyone to be able to pull the rug from under you and be in a position of power over you. IE Boss.

    I would urge you to start a side business.

    [–]trpfieldreport[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    I actually have one, I'm trying to make it my full time gig.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]MoneyStatusLooks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Perfect. Good for you man, seems like you have everything under control.

      Personally. I'm not sure if im unemployable, but I could never imagine working for anyone else ever again. I've run my own business for 8 years now and it was the making of me. There is something about being 100% self sustainable, and flourishing that is good for self esteem.

      [–]izomorph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I take your post to heart. The hardest part about TRP is that it takes time and perspective. A lot of people who come here are like me, who want to change, are willing to change, but need to take the appropriate steps to be successful.

      Kudos for posting this about yourself, as it will help your fellow man.

      [–]AlfaWolf 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Do you mind sharing your estimate of your SMV before and after transformation? Were you in shape before? How much change did you go through in terms of your physical appearances?

      [–]trpfieldreport[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Physical changes: Lots of lifting led to developing muscular tone. Lost a little bit of fat, but I'm still in the high teens of bodyfat. I have a lot of work to do yet.

      Also, I grew a beard. The beard makes a huge difference for me. I look like a child without a beard. With it, well, I look like a man.

      Currently I am 6'2 and 215lbs. I'd be happiest around 200, but I'm still trying to bulk up some more before getting cut.

      [–]lloopy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Your children do need a great father.

      Keep up the good work.

      [–]Diddlydangerous 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Nice fp trpfieldpeport. Need more like this around here.

      [–]Stopher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Fucking great post. TRP is about claiming life not "scoring bitches". If a side effect happens to be that you get laid more that's a value added but It's a side point.

      [–]1pcadrian 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      tinder-sluts I fucked in the back of their cars in a parking garage, girls who’s names I didn’t know sucking my dick, girls begging me to let them sleep with me, professional acquaintances inviting me over for sex, and a regular rotation of plates. In the past year I’ve effectively tripled my body count from the 23 years prior.

      Can you talk a little bit about the things you did to improve your SMV to the point where you get these kinds of results? I'm talking about both looks and inner game stuff. I think there is a lot of confusion among newcomers to the red pill where they think just a change in attitude will make magical things happen, but in my experience this is not true at all - it takes time and a lot of effort.

      For me personally, the inner game part was the easy part (though that took time as well!), as I made it a habit of regularly coming to this sub and digesting stuff over the course of 1.5 years. I approach almost every day, not even intentionally - it's become instinctual at this point (if I "sniff" a woman is receptive, it's on). I get lots of opportunities, but of the struggles is achieving the physique I want, so I certainly don't have the kind of results that someone like this gets.

      How do you do in these two departments?

      [–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Honestly I'm not much different looking. I'm more muscular thanks to following two good lifting programs (Starting Strength taught me all the complex lifts and got me up pretty high; now on 5/3/1 for MMA - great program).

      I grew a beard and I swear it's increased my physical attractiveness by a lot. I get a lot of girls petting my beard. I just look like a baby when I'm clean shaven.

      As for inner game stuff, I have no revelations to offer you. It's been largely a change of attitude and the outcome independence. Alcohol helps in the beginning.

      I think one of the most revelatory posts here on TRP was the one that said treat women like children. That's worked really well, and bantering with them like they are children seems to make it way more fun than the standard try hard shit guys try.

      [–]GregariousWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Late to the party here, but I liked this post. People misunderstand what the red pill really is.

      The pick up artistry that people associate with the red pill is just training wheels for guys who may be young or have been out of the dating scene for a while. There's nothing wrong with trying out a couple of lines or copping an attitude while developing some casual social skills. As time goes on you won't need the party tricks. They are there to help people bust through social anxiety.

      But in the larger scope, it isn't about fucking sluts or sexual strategies. It is about defining your own masculine identity, and not having masculinity defined for you by others. You can even redact the masculinity part and it still works. It's about defining your own identity, and not having it defined for you by others. This is a tall order. It's a long game and a deep one. It's so easy for us to listen to other people to tell us who we are and who we should be. Self-actualization is a life-long path. The journey never ends, well, until it finally does.

      The changes that come about in how you relate to women in the dating scene are a reflection of what is going on within yourself. As OP noted, you will find that strengthening your identity will also affect other interpersonal relationships you have, such as in the workplace. Knowing what you're capable of doing helps your confidence in a job interview. You will learn to disregard and move on from friends and even family if they are toxic to you.

      [–]Canwang 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Upvote for brazilian jiu jitsu. I started about 6 years ago after a bad break-up. I've often told girls I can't hang with them because I'm going to the gym, and upon protest, I explain to them, " Jiu Jitsu has been in my life before you, and will remain in my life after you, as well as many others."

      [–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      i recommend BJJ to everyone I can.

      It does a lot for you.

      It's a serious confidence booster during confrontations as well. Not that I ever look for fights, but occasionally a guy will try to be tough and get in my face. It's good to know I have some training and can snap his arm if I have to.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Women challenged my ego, because I was unsuccessful with them. So, I removed them from my life. I tried to tell myself that I didn’t need women anyway, and that I was fine with being alone every Friday/Saturday night.

      My ego was hamstring, because facing your inadequacies sucks. It’s easier to deny they exist. The Blue Pill is fucking easier.

      MGTOWs really need to take this to heart.

      [–]Yoda7 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Some men are MGTOW because women arent satisfactory. Not just because we are all whiny bitches. At some point RP is about saying, you arent good enough and arent worth my investment. When I find a woman who is acceptable then I will reconsider my stance. Until that day I will NGAF and GMOW.

      [–]rp_till_i_die 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Thanks brother, hope you stay strong.

      [–]raiseurT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I like that you mentioned your ego. Everyone here should do things way out of their comfort zone that totally destroy their ego, and let that anti-fragility kick in. It's awesome.

      [–]TheeRyanGrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Anecdotes like this are why I come here and why I will talk to anyone at anytime. Watching men realize their dreams and goals, watching them see how great they are and can become is absolute happiness for me.

      Good for you my dude

      [–]creekcanary 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I love this post! I just started BJJ recently and I love the way that it challenges your ego. Getting beaten up, and slowly getting better and starting to tap guys is awesome -- it has really helped chill me out with the rest of my life. After getting choked a dozen times, other shit seems not that bad.

      I have a question: I just read through your submission history and you've basically convinced me to start lifting, since it sounds like that had a huge impact on you. Where should I start? I've always been overwhelmed by lifting plans and had trouble adhering to them. But the positive effects you hint at from lifting, in terms of girls wanting to fuck you, seems really significant. Thanks.

      EDIT: If you haven't seen it, here's a great video of Joe Rogan talking about how BJJ can really help a person deal with reality and real life better, by fucking with your ego on a regular basis. Good shit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTIb16BiGc4

      [–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe is the gold standard.

      Also Google 5/3/1 for MMA. It's a 2 day split.

      I make sure I get the following 4 exercises every week, and I fill in with whatever I want:

      Deadlift Squat Bench press Overhead Press

      [–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      hey man great post:

      I have a question ( maybe this is for the pick up forum but):

      what would you say to someone who is stuck in the fattie zone, as in. I can talk to girls and get them to laugh but after that I can't really get that far. I call it the fattie zone because fatties ain't used to guys like me. it's refreshing to see and they latch to me. so ofcoruse i take the low hanging fruit. ( since i wasn't getting anything before now I have a regular play and some other fatties hitting me up)

      is there any advice you could give me? any tips or something. or is it a place of just keep on doing what you ae doing and it will come or?

      [–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Stop approaching fatties in an interested way. No problem talking to them, but don't pursue.

      Don't pursue low SMV girls, because EVERYBODY watching immediately has an estimate of your SMV (and its low if you're chasing a land whale).

      Sounds like you either have a low SMV or you think you do. Improve your SMV, like everyone in TRP is saying.

      Then, recognize that your SMV is under constant watch. So don't do anything a low SMV guy would.

      Don't fuck fat chicks. Find a nice, skinny girl with a beat up face if you have to. Don't fuck fat chicks.

      [–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      when you mean smv do you mean Sexual Market Value?

      all i pretty much got from this was don't fuck fat chicks. well obvious. though i think you are giviing into too much Smv to be honest.

      it's great to think about but it's not the be all and end all is it?

      [–]Karol754 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      The bigger the guy in the gym the nicer he is. I am big guy and I know the other dudes and they are the nicest people out there.

      [–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is a truth that you learn over time.

      When you're new to the gym, they're intimidating dudes that put up weights you didn't know a human could.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        again, I'm not boasting. Just reporting that it happened, and that I never would have thought that would happen to me

        [–]TravellingIndian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I'll never understand this sub's obsession with fucking married or soon-to-be-married women

        Buddy, what you see as obsession is in reality field reporting of extreme AF/BB. The girl already has her beta bucks in pocket, now she's subconsciously going after those sweet alpha genes

        [–]VoyPerdiendo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My ego was hamstring, because facing your inadequacies sucks. It’s easier to deny they exist. The Blue Pill is fucking easier.

        This is the essence of The Blue Pill.

        [–]LibertarianLibertine 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Out of curiosity, what was your body count a year ago, and how much is it now?

        [–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        9 last year. 28 as of last night.

        Not a ridiculous amount, and also I'm an Internet stranger so I could be lying.

        But I'm not. And the quality of the women I have been with this past year is much higher than prior. Though, my LTR was among the hottest girls I've been with.

        [–]daprospecta 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Glad you are getting along better but one thing to note, sleeping with a guys soon to be wife is low down. I know some say if I don't some other guy will, well let that other guy be a piece of shit.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]chaosbox 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          You missed the point. He was talking about his old beta self. That's not how he thinks currently.