all 70 comments

[–]sorryimachampion 122 points123 points  (0 children)

This is good shit, pretty much across the board. I think even guys that are really experienced could do well to remember a lot of these points. This is the shit I used to come the TRP for not the endless whining about cunts being cunts that I see dominate it these days.

[–]Nerf_Circus 43 points44 points  (5 children)

I don't recommend talking about her hobbies.

Spoiler alert she doesn't have any. The amount of girls who have told me they dance or play on instrument and I have called bullshit on is crazy. Often I just say 'no you don't and stare them down' and they'll admit they haven't done it in like 10+ years. It's especially easy to tell with dancing any dancer has a strong core and traps. If she if soft tummied and flat across the shoulders she doesn't dance.

Hobbies are too much effort for the modern girl when she can get all her validation from Twitter or Facebook or tinder.

[–]rockoverchicago 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Today's womens hobbies: YOGA, SHOPPING

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Nerf_Circus 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Just wait until it's more common knowledge in the sub and it won't be a weird soapbox. It can join the 'DAE have girls tell them about being raped quickly after meeting?' circle jerk that is it half the threads on female behaviour.

    I guess 'stare them down' is a weird way of putting it. I read 'girls have no hobbies' here a while ago and have just been investigating it's truth of my self. I won't question a girls age or name, but I always question any hobby they bring up.

    [–]aescnt 41 points42 points  (8 children)

    I think the "E" in "RAPE" is better as 'exes', rather than 'economics'.

    [–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (6 children)

    Also, don't talk about...rape. got it.

    [–]1wiseclockcounter 40 points41 points  (2 children)

    but if the bitch starts talking about her own "rape" within the first 15 minutes, high tail it the fuck out of there.

    [–]tits_out_forTheBoys 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    don't wanna be the antagonist of her next rape fable

    [–]loin_fruit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Dated a feminist once (terrible idea) who brought up that she was raped on the second date. To me, bringing that type of thing up is way too soon on the second date. I take it as them trying to get you to feel sorry for them. Some type of attention bullshit.

    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (10 children)

    Where does playing with my cell phone show up on this list?

    [–]PlanB_pedofile 7 points8 points  (9 children)

    As a man, don't do it. If a woman is doing it, you've lost and time to move onto the next.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children)

    I sat down at the bar and tried making small talk with nearby patrons while ordering some food - so tempted to surf Reddit or go home. Socializing with strangers is awkward as fuck for me.

    [–]PlanB_pedofile 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    This is where F.O.R.D. helps the most. Those are awesome small talk staples that get something rolling. Also some people are not in for small talk.

    Eye contact is a must. Don't stare into their soul and brain rape eye contact, but just enough eye contact that you'll know their eye color and maybe how long their eye lashes are.

    Not everyone is engaging so know when to move on before u turn into a third wheel. If a conversation is not to be had then exit smoothly and it would seem as if you two nerver even encountered.

    If the conversation turns positive and the two of you hook on topics remember the 2/3rds rule. Let them occupy 2/3rds of the conversation and you 1/3rd. "Don't be an open book" don't reveal too much about yourself unless it's directly relevant to the conversation. People love to talk about themselves and it helps if u listen and ask questions on their stories. Don't ever reveal unless asked. If they are asking you something then that means you've gained their interest but always remember to be a closed book.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I just feel so awkward standing there no matter what happens. what am I supposed to look at - who am I supposed to talk to? It all so incredibly forced to me...

    [–]PlanB_pedofile 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    For the eyes, be sure to give them a break. 4 seconds of good eye contact when they are talking to you then do a subtle shift to what's behind them or a slight dodge to their left or right earlobe. Don't go way wondering where it's obvious.

    If there is a tv going, turn your head for a brief moment and look and then turn back like you are checking a game score then back to the person. Don't let your eyes shift more than 20 degrees if the eyes need to move more than that then move your head. This is from my experience in talking with someone and watching their eyes zoom all over the place like looking out for a hit man.

    When talking to you look direct at them. Again don't stare into their brain but let your eyes drift to their nose, and lips. Like reading their lips. Take brief glances to the eyes just long enough to get a color and go back. Don't forget to blink. If eye contact is longer than 4 seconds for the love of god blink or something or else it gets creepy.

    It comes with practice. Things like retail sales, or jobs that force face to face helps. I've met face to face with probably 5,000 people over the years. Face to face sales really pushes that. You have 30 minutes to an hour to strike up a conversation. Even after all this time cold approaches produce a bit of anxiety but it breaks when the ball gets rolling.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    But when I'm standing there waiting for my food to come to the bar and people are coming an going, what does one say? Why would I want to talk to someone? Why would anyone want to talk to me? We have nothing in common. I have no reason to talk to people. Why am I even there? You may not think this is a worthy question, but I stand outside a place looking in and wonder if I'm going to spend a bunch of money for nothing while all the socially savvy people pretend to have a good time. I don't know, I haven't been face to face with 5,000 people and if I did I would feel like an idiot for all of them.

    [–]Engineer3227 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You're gonna feel stupid when you're starting out but that's why you do it: to get better.

    Why would you want to talk to someone? To improve your conversation skills.

    [–]Thizzlebot 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Socializing with strangers is awkward as fuck for me.

    That's because you aren't good at it...yet. It's a skill just like anything else so all you can do is practice! Luckily you can practice anywhere so good luck!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    What's the point, though? Maybe it's just the "bar/nightclub" thing that makes me feel uncomfortable.

    [–]Thizzlebot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    What's the point, though?

    uh to make you better at socializing lol. Nothing bad comes from socializing, you meet interesting people and you never know when someone could come in handy(ie job prospects, help you move, etc.)

    [–]BluepillProfessor 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Printing this off and putting it on my desk.

    [–]kasper0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Nice Idea, might make a nice poster out of it.

    [–]Karol754 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    Hey can we add our own and create a giant list it be pretty fun. I make notes like this on my phone as well.

    Some of mine:

    Better to offend then appease.

    Think me not we. If got a gf.

    Better to lead blind then follow the blind

    Pick words carefully

    Making an impression is better than no impression

    [–]ckennington 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    Offend then appease? Or offend than appease?

    [–]redshirt66 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Think me speak we.

    Always think of yourself as an individual it keeps you from being needy and putting the girl up on a pedestal.

    However speak we, because you are subtly introducing the idea of you two being together and making her more comfortable with whatever choices you decide to take.

    [–]lloopy 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    The "where to look" thing.

    I was once given the advice to look directly at the bridge of the nose of the person you're talking to, and take in their eyes in your close peripheral vision.

    That way you're not flipping between eyes, nor are you focused on just one eye.

    [–]needless_pickup_line 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Just be careful not to go cross eyed.

    [–]Hormander 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    That's a nice list

    thanks for posting it here

    [–]loin_fruit 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Fucking great man. Going to save this. Also I want to add

    2/3s rule. Don't put more effort into a relationship than what she's putting. If she takes an hour to text back. Wait just as long or longer. Sometimes go as far as to not reward her unless she does two things that are worthy or recognition first.

    [–]Generati0nY 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This is great. I feel like all of this was taught to me while I was in boot camp (Marine Corps) but without it being stated.

    [–]squiremarcus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    -always make people break eye contact with you before you break it with them

    I have never consciously noticed who breaks eye contact first

    [–]mentalfloss2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    "do not lean forward" "allow her to orient her body to you" and "lean back" have been game changers for me in night game.

    [–]galvanised_computer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    smile big with your whole face, like you just saw your best friend for the first time in a year

    I have also heard picture you railing her while smiling.

    [–]PracticallyAlpha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Great post. Couple things I'd like to add:

    allow her to orient her body to you

    While this is a good practice to get into the habit of, I believe there is something to be said for intentional mirroring. People mirror body language when they're interested, and receive people better who have subtly similar body language to them.

    -F.O.R.D (good things to talk about) -Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dream

    These are great jumping off points, but I'd recommend avoiding staying on one of these topics for too long. Try starting out with question relating to one of these, and look for a little clue in one of her responses that'll let you know something more personal to ask a follow-up about.

    -rub a girls back while hugging, do not pat

    This was fucking brilliant. I recommend squeezing her just hard enough for her to know that you could crush her, but softly enough to know you won't.

    [–]supercooldragons 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Shoulder to hip? Please explain

    [–]Thorware 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    For when you shoulder-ram her.

    Just kidding, it's part of the kino escalation ladder. You just touched her shoulder, next step is to touch her hip.

    [–]dgillz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    ignore her beauty

    Especially if she is beautiful. Every AFC in the world has told her that she is beautiful. She is used to hearing this. She knows that she is beautiful. Compliment her on her wit or intelligence and you've separated yourself the pack.

    [–]Rugnardl 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    What does the hand to hand, hand to shoulder mean?

    [–]RPGoon 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Its a kino escalation ladder. I used to have a cheat sheet pretty similar to his.

    [–]2asd1100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    -women do not see features they see how you present yourself are percieved (presentation + attitude towards you)

    Exactly, I can't drill this enough into some men's heads. If a girl thinks you are smart, it has nothing to do with how smart your are. You are perceived as witty, creative or have good communication skills. This combined with a positive attitude towards you: either due to status or rapport. These generate a simple model along the lines of "I like how brainy he is?" and this gets rationalised into: "he's smart"

    [–]DCLdit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Again, thanks for the re-post bsutansalt.

    [–]smokingmonkey420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Sexual strategy. Good stuff.

    [–]betarex 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    do not stare, moral looking time

    Means what? Or is moral auto corrected and supposed to be mirror?

    [–]DCLdit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Hey betarex. It's not auto correct. The Moral Looking Time is just the socially accepted time someone is to look or stare at another person. All this stuff is is just to practice until you feel comfortable enough not to have to use any of it.

    You can look wherever you want. I believe in not making excuses for where your eyes wander, but, you should still be able to realize when you are starring and creeping someone out. Don't do that. Be aware of the Moral Looking Time.

    [–]100 Modbsutansalt[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I suspect so. Mirroring is a great rapport/comfort building tool.

    [–]betarex 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Is this supposed to be when attracting her interest from afar or during conversation?

    [–]100 Modbsutansalt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    During your interaction.

    [–]gnikita98 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    "...and women have last-minute-resistance anxiety."

    Can someone clarify this for me?

    [–]IthieuNoir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Sidebar.

    LMR is a woman's last attempt to prove to herself she isn't a slut by making feeble excuses to refuse sex when in your mind you've probably escalated to the point where it was a sure thing.

    i.e. you've been making out and groping each other and she slams on the brakes and says she isn't having sex tonight.

    It's a pretty common shit test, people pass it in the usual ways like agree and amplify ("of course not! I'm saving myself for marriage" then continue escalating). I've also heard freeze out works, as soon as she says "no sex" you just say "k" and roll over and go to sleep, or go read or throw on a movie or something. Basically calling her bluff and she'll come seek you instead.

    [–]87GNX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's fucking dense bro. Good

    [–]sirmadam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Maybe one to add to the quotes: "Many things can be achieved in a day, as long as you don't make that day tomorrow."

    [–]NotReallyEthicalLOL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    don't really get why "-funny shit-test responses to “do you play video games?”" is included. I feel like this doesn't apply to most people and if it did I'm sure they could come with something on the spot.

    [–]dup3r -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    never break eye contact

    That's cool if you want to come off like a try-hard or a psychopath. You look like a douche, not someone with effortless composure.

    [–]Dr_Gabe_Lackman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is a tldr there's a lot more to most of this specifically eye contact.

    Only the goal is to build rapport so breaking eye contact to do that is a good idea unless you can look cool keeping eye contact.

    Scenario A: lighting a cigarete focus on doing the thing infront of you do it well and remember take up space again after it's done

    Lighting a cigarette while keeping eye contact might just be intimidating but it might also be sexy or both to different chicks, gauge the girl before doing this.

    Scenario B: Eating a hamburger while staring your date down is weird maybe not when you eat a frie or a piece of fried finger food but eye contact with your date when you bite into a sandwich is just weird, there wont be many scenarios to do that unless you're trying to smash the Hamburglar's wife.

    Scenario C:

    Licking on a hard candy or a lollipop and not keeping eye contact would probably be a mistake but how you keep eye contact determines the sub lingual conversation; bedroom eyes are for sluts, joke making and someone you've already fooled around with. Regular old genuine interest and eye contact aren't a bad idea the lolipop is mundane and requires no attention so you should be giving that attention to your conversation partner. The nuclear option is degrees of simulated fellatio on the lollipop or candy cane, only use if you have good reason to trust your instincts on it.

    Generally trust your instincts evolutionary biology dictates that you probably have all of the non verbal shit you need to speak the the language of love, just don't get too caught up in yourself and let your mind and actions flow with the situation, you will learn what not to do and if the thing you are about to do would have serious consequences rethink it before you do it, just remember the 3 second rule and take mental note of what makes other people uncomfortable. Learn to read others body language and the pieces will fall together.

    [–]momapl -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    My cheat sheet as of today is this: be your fucking self; respect and love yourself with balance; don't give a shit; set your boundaries and be a man.

    [–]soulmatter[🍰] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    What do you mean by take up space?