all 108 comments

[–]lukins 91 points92 points  (20 children)

I'm in my early forties. I was trying to organize a date with a 41 yo. My first suggestion of restaurant was 'too noisy', my second was fine (she just wanted me to keep going until I picked the one she wanted), but then she kept texting me about what my favorite dishes were, blah, blah, blah. She kept giving me the runaround and couldn't make definitive plans to meet. I texted her back and said that it was just too hard to coordinate with her and that I didn't think we were a match. It flipped a switch in her; instead of acting like she was 21, she realized she couldn't play that game and wanted to go out that night. But I wasn't playing dread game with her. I truly didn't want to see her and told her to take a hike. I would never have acted this way when I was younger. I just don't tolerate it anymore. I have other options....

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 28 points29 points  (8 children)

Same here. Old chicks try this shit and then wonder why after they flake and play hard to get the man goes radio silent. We have better shit to do than chase some wrinkled near hag. I don't have to chase the young ones, I simply game them, make them laugh, and then fuck them or send them down the road.

I've blown off thirty women in the two years since I kicked the ex out. Fifteen or so made the cut to get fucked. They didn't pull that hard to get bullshit. Flake twice or refuse/ignore a face to face meet and that's it, she's done. Send three one word replies in a row and get radio silence. I have better, and younger, things to do.

[–]dreckmal 22 points23 points  (2 children)

"I'm willin' to eat stale Cracker Jacks. But I want 'em right. now."

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lol. Exactly, no need to have suspense for something well bast the "best by date"... By a couple decades.

[–]1Dev_on 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Stories of blowing off girls are way better than getting laid stories. I've always liked them more, even as a kid

[–]Hormander 0 points1 point  (2 children)

How do you blow them off? Implicitly or explicitly?

[–]the_red_scimitar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Warning: I can't tell this without it being humble bragging. I don't see any reason at all to avoid that, since it is all true.

Personally, I've become rather explicit at blowing them off. A very hot looking 20-something chick on OKC was interested, supposedly, and we got to the setting up a meeting stage rapidly. When I suggested drinks, she said, "How about instead I do whatever you want and you pay me for my time?"

I textually laughed in her face. I have active options, and really would never pay - it's just sex, it isn't something rare and difficult. Made it clear it was a laughable, told her wrong guy, good luck. And just dropped it. Blocked the account, moved on.

Well, such accounts tend to get reported and killed by OKC. She's now on the third reincarnation of the same account, each of which has used the site to say she "wants to meet me".

Yeah, probably the only guy to straight up laugh at her proposition. I suspect her entitlement, massive as it must be, was bruised a bit.

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both, some I simply ignore, others I say something snarky but fun then go silent.

[–]the_red_scimitar 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Yeah, been there. Older than you guys, but very fit. Last year, dated a 30-something. Once. Very pretty, but she had a "dating persona" that was ... awful. First off, it was all about her tiny dog, which, thankfully, said rat-in-a-dog-suit was not with her. She took her dog to see other dogs when she (herself, not the dog) is depressed. And the tone of voice - like she was telling a Mother Goose story. It all just screamed, "I'm so ace-ing this, I'm so perfectly smooth, I'm being soooo interesting!"

Gawd, no. I could not stand another minute. The instant dinner was done, it was up and good bye, no kiss (I didn't go for one).

A month later, she texted me out of the blue: "Why didn't you ask me out again."

Me: "It was just a date. Get over it."

A bit mean, perhaps, but the thought that she presumed any kind of right to my attention was rather infuriating.

[–]Maaahoney 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ewww yeah I am actually glad those women play doggie dress up. It's so we can instantly next them. I've had similar encounters with dates and never thought twice about contacting them ever again. the level of entitlement is insane. I go after the 20 year olds but they usually live in packs with friends that they just constantly talk shit about. Or, their animals I like to hear other guys that simply won't put up with this shit. It *should teach them a lesson.
I recently nexted a girl that wanted to meetup up because she replies to texts with a single question mark "?" I'm like, look bitch, I rarely text you, when I do, it's written clearly. If you have a response question, take the time to type it out like a normal human.
I'm sure there is also a massive generation gap between us and the millenials that is highly frustrating to us.

[–]the_red_scimitar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, generally I don't have a problem dating millenials. I have a lot of the same interests, particularly in entertainments. It isn't really the age that does it, and the generation gap is interesting - I liken it to dating somebody from a related but different culture (like an American dating a Canadian).

The baby-substitute dog can be found not uncommonly at all ages, it seems.

[–]DarkCircle 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Not even 40 and I feel like this. Just sick of the shit women think is acceptable. Testing someone you are not even in a relationship with is stupid on multiple levels.

[–]Maaahoney 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Do you think guys in a generation before us had just as many problems with women a generation a head?
I tend to blame technology and social media for the dumbing down/entitlement/lack of focus of the mllenials as the reason I don't get a lot with a lot of them.
I can't think of anything else that had such an impact on society.

[–]Squeezymypenisy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, compare the people before the hippie movement and free love to the ones that grew up during it and embraced it.

[–]imaRPman 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Just tell her when to be ready and pick her up.

No need for her to be consulted unless she has some food allergies.

Women do not intentionally fitness test a man, they do it if he appears weak or indecisive.

However, I agree with your decision. Since this was a early date when everyone should be on their best behavior she failed basic politeness.

[–]the_red_scimitar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, they don't just do it if he shows weakness. They absolutely will do BECAUSE of their interest in the man - and that's the only time. If there's no shit-testing, then she's not interested.

[–]sweetgene05 9 points10 points  (2 children)

shit gets real for females when they hit the wall

the smart ones use their youth/beauty to lock a man down when they are in their prime years.

the majority find out the hard way.....delicious karma.

[–]1spicy_fries 17 points18 points  (1 child)

delicious karma.

I take issue with this line of thinking. Not because I feel the need to white knight women, but because it can give men a false sense of poetic justice.

Today women can literally get away with murder without ever experiencing "karma is a bitch."

If these women had to do it over again, they'd probably prefer to be alpha widows than to be stuck with only one beta for life.

What they are complaining about is not being able to have it all. They only "half-win" instead of achieving total victory (AlphaFucks,BetaBucks). That's hardly karmic justice.

[–]the_red_scimitar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Also, heavy workout schedules, yoga, botox, fake boobs, lipo, and all that stuff, has some women looking amazing even into their early 50's, but many well through their 40's. They do this to continue riding the CC, as they hop from divorce to the next BB.

[–]_the_shape_ 31 points32 points  (1 child)

A crucial component of adhering to a red pill mentality is learning to walk away from a raw deal. This is where (and why) AFCs/blue pillers fail over and over and over again, bending over backwards to make it work. Why? Because they're too scared to walk away.

[–]DocObvious_ 56 points57 points  (2 children)

I'm 28. I aspire to be the type of man outlined in this post. I read the whole thing and will likely read it again. If you're new here, or have even been here for a while, I encourage you to read this fully. This is what the red pill is here for. This is what TRP is at the core. It's not only about trying to game girls into your bed. It's not only about how to get that club girls number. This post, all encompassing as it is, is TRP.

[–]2chainzFLEX 24 points25 points  (1 child)

As a 20 yr old, this whole post is a gold mine.

[–]denmaur 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As a mid-50's, recently divorced guy, I found your post to contain a ton of valuable information. It's what I've been looking for since finding this sub.

[–]MentORPHEUS 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Excellent post! Red pill theory is useful for men throughout most of their lives. Some of the things people write on here about women 30+ will be considered cringe-worthy later. I find myself thinking with an air of amused mastery, "You'll rue the day you said that, young man." Getting a good view of the whole life ahead of you will help you grow and improve, and help break habits and attitudes that can hold you back in life. It passes in the blink of an eye, and soon enough you will find yourself as the 20-something you are now in a 45+ body. This should be viewed as a challenge to strive toward, not a bummer to avoid even thinking about until it's too late.

I also agree not to build a mental body of hate for single mothers. By 40, most women will have had children, and will have partial custody of them. The pool of women who never had children, and those who have non-custodial minors in particular, is VERY small and HIGHLY likely to have crazy underlying reasons. Some of my best plates over the years have been single moms. They can be VERY happy with a part-time FB/FWB situation and will work hard with you to maintain it. Plus, it's quite hilarious to see the towel you grabbed in the dark and realize you wiped spooge on Spongebob Squarepants' hugely smiling mouth.

I also agree that lower SMV plates may have their place in a Red Pill Man's long and varied sex life, even if this is counter to young RP canon. I know what they say about reaching for the best girls at the top of the tree, but have you fully considered the relationship dynamics possible with a woman when you are at the top of HER tree? This is an area where abundance mentality is poorly played by the less experienced. The abundance of women doesn't mean that they are a limitless resource that you should burn through ruthlessly in your quest for the elusive HB10+. Being a good and kind lover even to lower SMV short term flings WILL make you a better partner for the higher SMV women you may or may not sleep with in the future. On the flip side, being a cad to women who sleep with you but are less then perfect will NOT make you feel better about yourself in the long run, unless you're trying for a pseudo Dark Triad persona, but a real DT person doesn't HAVE a better to feel about themselves or others in the first place. Source: 1/3 century of experience with a broad spectrum of women.

[–]1iluminatiNYC 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I love your last paragraph. I understand the mindset of going for the best ever, in that you just shouldn't sleep with anyone with a vagina and consent. That said, there's a fine line between having standards and being picky. Everyone is going to piss off someone in life, just because. Still, it doesn't pay to be a jerk to everyone who isn't perfect. While women are unlimited, your reputation isn't. Eventually, it'll get far. Make sure it's a good one. And besides, beating on the weak isn't worth it in the long run. Those 5s and 6s can be fun, ESPECIALLY if they are good people.

[–]the_red_scimitar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And very true. I'm an openly non-monogamous man, yet there are women who will date me, themselves monogamous. I make a point of being sure the people I date know and are reminded (if they need it) of this fact. I freely talk about other people I see, because if they can't hack it, it's better to know now. It's my own male form of shit-testing, I suppose.

Right now the most gorgeous 40-something is in this hallowed position. Random sexting mid-day, incredibly sex-positive with me, and always flirty and willing to follow through. Yet, entirely uninteresting in outside dating. And she asks me about other partners (I think it turns her on a bit).

Not a barbie, but just slightly enough zaftig to have an amazing figure at every angle. And, so far, not a hint of clinging ownership. On the modern scale, a 6.5-7, but attitude, wit, and enthusiasm bring all that to an 8 or better - but you'd never see it if she weren't into you.

It'd be very difficult to find that in a 20-something.

[–]thegr8b8m8 23 points24 points  (16 children)

I want to say I was a guy that never really wanted children at all. They just seemed expensive and overly burdensome to me. Well I ended up knocking a girl up and now have a 2 year old daughter. The thing that honestly caught me off guard in this situation was how much I would end up loving my kid. I'm 35 now and had a good bit of fun in my younger days. The thing I'm saying is that being a father is way better more rewarding thing than I ever expected. Now this is a hard thing for us knowing how unfairly we will be treated by the courts. But regardless I found being a father something I would never change.

[–]1Dev_on 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's because your body is hardwired to do this. Hormones and such.

[–]imaRPman 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I've been married 20+ years. Kids have been the best part of my life.

TRP should not be based on fear. If i was divorced tomorrow i would have to pay alimony until I'm dead. So what, my life has been rich and i have no regrets. I would not want to see my wife living in poverty either. She is the mother of my kids and for that reason (and many others) has my respect.

[–]Ditario 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Could you go into more detail about this? Your comment is like a candle in a pitch black house.

[–]imaRPman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of the guys here who are angry or never wanting to be married or have kids are afraid. Perhaps for good reason and past bad experiences.

Decisions should not be based on fear. Fear should inform your decisions and help you make better decisions.

So start with partner selection. Find a women who wants the same things as you and prides herself on being loyal.

You be a strong RP leader of the family and all should go well. If it doesn't, you'll deal with whatever shit that happens and make the best of it.

[–]1iluminatiNYC 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Word. Fatherhood can get a bad rap, but being there for a child is fun. It opens up a bunch of stuff you can't realistically do as a single man.

[–]seattleron 3 points4 points  (10 children)

That's nice to hear. We always hear about reasons we shouldn't have kids, and most of them have to do with women fucking men over, but I have always wondered about the bond and love you have with/for that kid. I bet you couldn't imagine your life without her and don't even care about the things you worried about with kids before??

[–]Squeezymypenisy 1 point2 points  (9 children)

Guys on this sub just forget it about. The funny thing is, only your kids will remember you after your gone. 1000 years from now, few will remember any great historical event you did. Unless you start a religion or kill a bunch of people.

[–]SquareScrewdriver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i have a kid. Dead is dead. Some feel good crap about who remembers you doesn't matter and isn't a reason for anything. Dead men feel nothing.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–]SquareScrewdriver 0 points1 point  (6 children)

    You believe it but only man who has done both knows the truth. It's your feels talking.

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)


      [–]SquareScrewdriver 1 point2 points  (4 children)

      Are you? If not you are just projecting your feels. If you are listening to someone in their 50s and 60s who has kids they can only tell you one side of the argument, their side. At the end of the day it's all in your feels bro. Deal with it. This is all emotional. It's okay to feel some sort of way, but know what it is and say what it is and don't try to impress young minds withfeelz as facts. I just want you to be honest with yourself and us.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)


        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


          [–][deleted]  (1 child)


            [–]Science_isthenewcool 12 points13 points  (2 children)

            Massive post and I appreciate your effort. Congrats on enjoying your single life as a late 40s guy, you are among a very small, select group.

            I think a lot of your points are salient, and essential for success, especially keeping in shape, eating healthily and dressing appropriately; developing hobbies and pursuits to the point of accomplishment and playing to your strengths.

            I would like to mention for those Red Pillers that are of a mind to eventually procreate and raise a family: If you do find a great girl 18-22 and she is head over heels, will take a bullet for you and dotes on your every whim because she appreciates how incredible a man you are, and does everything in her power to be the perfect girl for you, gorgeous, sex-kitten, first mate, doesn't drink excessively, party or do drugs, has interests and achievements and respects yours, with very few previous partners etc. you should LTR that shit and use your game and experience to help shape her and make it work. You don't want to remember that one that got away, when you are banging your 40-something, dick hungry, CC-riding single mother cougar with her kids in the next room. As fun as that sounds.

            You need to be able to recognize a quality woman who is worth the investment of time and effort to make an ideal partner. However if LTRs and raising offspring are not amongst your aims, then god speed gentlemen, as you were.

            [–]the99percent1 13 points14 points  (0 children)

            People change.. The girl you once liked, may not be that way after awhile.

            The only thing you can count on is yourself, your successes and accomplishments, and the change you go through with experience.

            [–]2RedPillSafe 10 points11 points  (1 child)

            53 here.

            Generally agree with what you have written.

            I'd make one change though having to do with your clothing choices.

            Every part of the country has it's own micro-fashion, so what I do is go out and absorb the general trends then figure out what will work to send the right message.

            I've dressed for California and for the Midwest and it's different.

            California with require a more high status outfit. Physical appearance is extremely important.

            The Midwest is the opposite and will require more casual. In the Midwest you score more points with your social skills than appearances. If you look high fashion and drive an expensive car it will get attention, but it will seem out of place. It's just a lower priority. Fancy houses are less admired in the Midwest than in California.

            [–]rocklion200 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            That's very true. I live in a mid size city in the south that's about two hours from Atlanta. In Atlanta I'd dress differently than here. There's not many places, if any, you want to show up in a suit. You'd look as if you're trying too hard. Most dress around here is a nice casual outdoors look.

            Honestly most girls wouldn't know around here what dress jacket you're wearing. But they sure know The North Face

            [–]_the_shape_ 17 points18 points  (1 child)

            Beautiful post. Thank you for taking the time and effort to put this together. Very well thought out. Red pill to the core.

            I'm in my early 30s now - I suppose which might put me somewhere between younger and older, but I digress...Taking the red pill has done countless things to me, for me. I have a tendency to be overly wordy and verbose - I love expounding on my thoughts for sure - but if I could condense what the red pill stands for me, in an attempt to be as concise as possible as to what the red pill is all about in my eyes, I'd boil it down to these four words - ..MAN..THE..FVCK..UP..

            That's right - embrace your masculinity. Become hard. Become resilient. Take pride in your tenacity. Impress yourself. Set out to do something special with your life (i.e. your life mission). Gravitate towards those who want to do something unique with their own lives. Push each other to become the best versions of yourselves. Challenge yourself. Don't waste time feeling pitiful for blue pillers or arguing with them - let them come on their own accord. Focus on YOU. Become conscious of your thoughts -eliminate those which do not strengthen you. Make your happiness become one with your constant self-improvement. Seek resistance. Push through hardships, but embrace those too as they are nourishment for your own personal development (look at what crushing breakups/divorces did to many us). And finally, do NOT hate women - understand them. Push through the anger/resentment phase if you find yourself caught in it. Don't take them seriously. Don't run from them - enjoy them. Show them that with you they are dealing with a MAN who values and respects himself enough to demand the best and who has zero problem walking away from a raw deal and you'll be fine.

            [–]1Trellink 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            The second paragraph of this post belongs in the sidebar.

            [–]H3lius 10 points11 points  (2 children)

            This advice/post is great. Really good information for people in a certain mindset.

            The more I talk to older RPish men that are single, read these posts, and see married couples, I realize a few things. Let me first start by saying that I want kids and a family. I also don't find spinning plates as fun and more of a chore. Not because of some sort of programming or anything, but simply because I see having a family as a stage of this great game we call life. A chaotic, fun, sad, terrifying, wonderful stage/journey that will only make me a happier and stronger human.

            Ingraining TRP, non-neediness, and general frame/game/etc into my behavior and life and doing it in my 20s and maybe early 30s is more important than anything. I MUST get a handle on my emotions, lifestyle, and purpose before I attempt anything major like marriage, blah blah. Anecdotal or not, I notice that young men these days, at least my family and friends that are 20 or so, seem to be looking for another mother. You'll see it on the outside as just being a "bro", or being a "young hormonally charged man" and sleeping with anything that moves. That may be true... But, take my cousin for example. He will call low SMV bitches over to sleep with him (He is perceived as high value cause he's a felon and has the bad boy attitude. He's also good looking I'm told.) and his reasoning is that he hates sleeping alone. THIS GUY CAN EASILY PULL A 8 - 10. I won't mention how wrong that is for the girl's egos and his health, and I won't get too much into the phycology of it, but it's essentially being needy. I believe that this need for the second mother won't go away for MOST OF US boys/men, but there is a healthy mindset about it and a destructive one. Let me elaborate.

            My personal goal is to make sure my SMV is 110% by 27, find a humble and traditional woman that can come into my existing life and meet my needs. My need for intimacy, sex, children, etc. When I say come into my existing life, I mean she has to prove that she's going to be the best choice for my children and me. I will pick a woman as if my kids had a say in it. She has to change her lifestyle to match mine. I work out and look good. She doesn't work out? That may be a deal breaker. I need a healthy wife and children. What do I do? Tell her she needs to work out? Nah. My past two girlfriends started working out and I didn't even say anything. ONE OF THE PERKS OF HAVING HIGH SMV. The best thing about being high value and dating smart girls is they understand this shit without you having to say it. The girl I'm seeing now has a great body, but she could definitely tone up a bit though. She knows that already, and getting a bit of sexual attention from a guy that has everything going for him, options (abundance), and fucks her well shows her that she needs to make an effort to keep this going IF SHE'S TO KEEP ME. I'm sure feminists will be screaming at this and saying how unfair it is to have this mentally. Too bad so sad you ugly sad cunts.

            My future wife will be a bit of a second mother, sure. She has to support me in the areas I cannot put energy into like a mother. We're all limited in energy, especially when you're beast mode and giving your career/health 11000%. It's hard to keep up with chores, have energy to cook meals in bulk for several hours on the weekends, and whatever else you're doing. A woman meets those needs and I return and meet her needs with my passion, love, emotions, and support. We all know this.

            Anyways, I don't see myself at 40 alone. None of you fucks should if you're living TRP, lifting, eating right, being a badass at work, and following your passions. I'd rather spend my energy on the things I love in life and have my sexual needs met by one woman so I don't have to spend the majority of my waking hours gaming girls. I feel like people don't quite get the whole TRP message is essentially to be a fucking real man. Everything else seems to fall into place naturally if so. That's my goal at least.

            [–]phathack 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            None of us saw ourselves alone at 40 but our ex wives had different ideas.

            Mine chose to branch swing and ending up falling flat on her face. Since that time I have been spinning plates all with much higher SMV and have no intention over ever getting married, its just too much trouble and drama.

            [–]MentORPHEUS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Well said; the part about not having to say anything (or worse, NAG) to inspire her to self-improve really rang true with me. I'm 1 month into my first relationship since swallowing the RP, and this is one of the things I've noticed. I'm just confidently who I am in her presence, and find her pointing out her own bad habits and correcting them ON HER OWN. This puts me in the position of acting only to reward her for things she improves herself, suggesting my SMV is over the moon compared to before!

            I'm in my late 40s, she is 44. She has several things in her past that RP canon would consider red flags- failed beta marriage, kid under 10, trash talked about her ex, not in perfect shape, cigarette smoker who flings her butts, left her dog's poop on others' lawns. When I came in to the picture I wasn't sure if it was going to be more than a brief fling due to these issues. To my former BP surprise, she set about improving herself and breaking bad habits with gusto, all on her own initiative. I'm waiting to see how well it all sticks after the honeymoon period, but compared to the history of my BP relationships, this is a whole different ballgame. Strong alpha frame is a powerful motivator- Red Pill in action is almost like magic!

            The take-home message here is, many spoiled modern women are poor partners when they pass the wall, but there are some who come out the other side willing to improve, and a strong red pill frame has the power to make her WANT to improve without you having to ask!

            [–]rocklion200 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            You nailed exactly a lot of my thoughts on this since I stumbled upon TRP three months ago. I'm 39 and turn 40 in a month. I've read a lot of the literature on this site but have always found there seemed to be a missing ingredient for older TRP.

            Mentality does change. Remember that ultimately its about adding value into your own life. A 10 to me at this point may not be the same for you. A 10 for me would be the hot 40 year old in the gym whose kids are grown, lives an active lifestyle and is social while also having a career. Its just not about looks. Its also what can she provide me as an activity partner? What can she provide intellectually? Every day you should be improving yourself in all aspects of your life. If you are doing that then by the time you hit 40 or 45 then you should be getting over boring women. A woman could be a 9 or a 10 but if she provides no value except to say I'm with a hot girl then all its going to be is a short ride. Which is fine. But with life improvement you find the shirt tern becomes less attractive

            [–]1Padre55 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            Hygene is massively important, and an older male has to aware of it. Nose hairs poking out, out of style clothes (meaning clothes that do not fit well or were cool, ten yrs ago).

            Competence is huge, not as huge as a lifelong comittment to health and learning, just by this time one should know what you are doing.

            Diet and working out: This changes, consistent work out routines is a game changer, the cultural lie men are fed is "oh you are to old for that, here have a Dunkin' Donuts latte' instead" is just complete nonsense. Now the change is in recovery time and approach. The powerlifting routines from your early 20's probably should be scaled back if started in your late 30's. Another critical critical component of health is stretching, as we age our bodies grow more stiff, a proper stretching routine, even basic yoga, will change your body almost as much as weight lifting. Don't walk around with slumped, old guy posture, you know it when you see it.

            A simple test is, how quickly and easily can you get off the floor from a prone position. A great test of overall flexibility and any area where you need to work on.

            The diet portion is basically this, eat clean, only quality carbs. If you eat "white" carbs (pasta, rice) then be sure to mix fiber in with the serving to avoid sugar spikes. Booze is a quality carb that one learns either you can eat, or you can drink, do not do both or the weight will stick to you like glue. Lots of protein, eggs, beans, meats, cheeses.

            Older women are a mixed bag, some are fun and carefree and down to do almost anything, some other older women are merely desperate. Younger women will be DTF IF you are interesting and attractive. Awesome thing about younger women is they do not care so much about $$ if they decide they are DTF, it is a fling and both know it, or should.

            [–]laere 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Elaborate on the booze as a quality carb.

            [–]1Padre55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Way booze works is it lower cholesterhol and reduces hypertension and has a mild cleansing effect on the liver if taken in moderation.

            However, say it is super bowl game day, and one plans on drinking more than usual, what cannot be done is eat heavily and drink. What food mixed with a large amount of booze does is strain your digestive tract and promotes fat building. Especially if the food intake is mainly carbs, bread, chips etc.

            Alcohol is one of the items that your body actually has a net no gain when consumed b/c alcohol takes a lot of energy to process.

            Where ppl go astray thinking "oh look at that beer gut!" is usually ppl drink and eat a lot, go to any late night diner. As one ages those extra calories become the "beer gut" as most ppl's metabolism naturally slows down.

            I'd go further and suggest alcohol consumption has a preservative effect. To me, ppl just do not understand the substance, what it is, what it does in your body, and the effects both short and long term.

            For reference check Drink as much as you want an live longer


            [–]fasterpussycatdie 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            45 year old chiming in. Everything in here dead on accurate. Even the young guys can adopt a lot of this in their lives now. You are not young forever and it goes by fast.

            Younger girls are often impulsive, vacuous, incredibly boring, mercurial, and often just plain stupid.

            Holy shit this. I have a five minute threshold before I'm ready to take a nail gun to my forehead when dealing with any female under the age of 28 excluding my daughter of course. Mostly because she's a miniature female version of me.

            [–]imaRPman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            ^ this here is what has always bothered me about the "wall" being considered such a negative.

            Yes the pretty has started to fad but many females mature into interesting people with life experience.

            [–]RPModulator 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            Lots of good stuff. Comments:

            once a hernia happens, it doesn’t heal itself. It requires surgery, and that can be the difference between indolence and staying active later.

            The same goes for the orthopedic issues. Many can now be fixed to new or better, even more can be significantly improved via surgery. Need a little shoulder maintenance? Get it done. The only one I would still super wary of is the back . . .

            some guys lose their testosterone levels as they age. In fact, if I am correct, most do. ... However, low-T can negatively affect weight, muscle, libido, and other things.

            Certainly, there is an age-related decrease in T. However, a lot of men also experience T-related disorders. Get that shit checked.

            Lots of other effects, including mood and cognitive function. Also, can be a leading symptom of various endo disorders. Get that shit checked.

            Very, very few men can rock the same hair they had at 22 when at 40.

            I have been shaving it down to #2 since my late 20's (super functional inside a motorcycle helmet in very hot climates). Still looks good, try it out.

            Find some nice vintage clothes

            I would say more "classic clothes". Ralph Lauren and Hugo Boss are both comfortable, and come in nice, dark colors and subtle patterns.

            You might even consider some “slump busters” you might not have earlier in life. Your mileage may vary, of course, but you just might find that a few less-attractive women with a touch of girth can be a freaking hoot in bed. They are horny and some of them love to be despoiled.

            Definitely true, but this is dangerous business. Why? Because these women tend to be nutjobs, and have all kinds of baggage, including a divorce and kids. If you can work it out, cool.

            Still, you will find your patience with younger girls starts to become very taxed. You might still want to bang them and sometimes can, but you’ll discover a drawback of their youth. Younger girls are often impulsive, vacuous, incredibly boring, mercurial, and often just plain stupid.

            Yes, yes, and yes. Rarely, you can find a young one who is wise beyond her years, and these can be a joy to have around.

            They’ll wonder about your bills, finances, mention friends who are moving in together, ask you how your retirement plan compares to hers, etc. They’ll probably start this around your first year anniversary if you are in LTR. Be prepared. ... I’m not going to advise you to or not to move in with her, but I will advise you that it should only be after year two, if you even consider it.

            Two years before even considering it seems like reasonable advice to me. I would add that, in the first year, I wouldn't even let them spend the night at your place. Actually sleeping together makes them think that they have a chance at moving in soon, as well as giving them a (even slight) amount of dominion in your space. Squash those ideas.

            Otherwise, great read. Thanks.

            [–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            The thing I like abbot today's fad cut (slicked back under cut) is it agrees pretty well for a cut, and looks great, bears or no. So glad there's no more faux Hawks

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)


              [–]imaRPman 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Good for you!

              And how is the ex-wife doing now?

              [–]Maaahoney 12 points13 points  (1 child)

              Awesome post my man. I agree, as I've moved into mid-thirties I find older women attractive as well. There is a lot of anger and resentment on this sub that makes us hope that "them bitches" get what they deserve later, but remember, they are what they are. Can't hate a fish for being a fish. And they can maintain and be VERY attractive. I'm looking for any advice about older guy haircuts, if anyone has any suggestions. I'm ready to make a big change and my Beatles style haircut needs to go!

              [–]MattyAnon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Obviously avoid the combover. If you're receding that's fine, but do NOT try and hide it. Get it cut brutally short to show off your receding line like crazy. Of course this looks right and normal and therefore hides it. Seen this done well.

              Long works for some, but be careful - it never worked for me. Wild and crazy might work - seen it done well on older guys but really avoid the aging-rocker-in-denial look. Probs works better with strong black hair. Especially bad combined with leather or even worse, denim jackets. 80's throwback in denial is the worst. It's not even ironically good.

              Obv. mullet suits noone. Not young, not old, not ever.

              If you can pull off something a little crazy then do it. It just can't be the styles of your youth (looks old), nor of the youth of today (looks ridiculous).

              Greying hair [on a MAN] is awesome, wear it with prideful indifference, especially if it's in a few appropriate/normal places. If you do die it, aim for "a bit grey" rather than totally your previous colour. Won't show the roots as clearly either. If I wasn't greying slightly I'd try and get the look from a bottle it's that good. "Distinguished" is the word I heard a lot.

              Coordinate your whole head and lifestyle. Some sort of beard is good, match to your hairstyle/lifestyle. I say lifestyle because beards need work. Get whatever clippers, rechargeable clippers or whatever technology you need to maintain whatever you decide works for you. If you can't run to clippers, you've got bigger problems than hairstyle. Beard should be well groomed [ie all same length] and well defined. Choose a length that suits you. If you get straggly round the edges, get that shit in line. If you're mangey looking all over, keep it very short or shaved as per balding above.

              Trim any and all extraneous hair, keep beard neat. Even if you're going for untamed and wild looking it should say "silverback fucking gorilla... but with his shit together and well trimmed nose/ear/testicular hair".

              Talking of which shave your balls just so you can tell people you do this with a straight face. God damn my balls feel nice today.

              The more a woman is attracted the closer she'll look. You don't want her focussing on that straggly nose hair and then deciding that's all she could focus on during sex. If you can get it sorted out in under 5 mins per day, just do it.

              Totally agree with the OP (you the man!) ... recently I've had three young women (20's and cute/cute/hot respectively) tell me how they're into older guys without any prompting from me. Next time it happens I'm telling her I'm younger than she is ;)

              [–]ohhaio 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Some of the best sex I've ever had, with a woman who, at the time I was 40 and she was 52.

              Found her on POF, figured, what the hell she looks ok I'll give her one face to face meet to see if she looks like her pics. Turned out she looked better than her pics, lifetime non smoker, kept in shape, divorced from a beta husband and sooo grateful for my manly 40 year old dicking that I gave her every Tuesday night for several months.

              I'd come over after my evening workout, we'd have dinner and drinks and real, adult, intellectual conversations (plus she was a great cook), go to bed, I'd give her a good pounding (she was up for anything, yes anything I wanted). We fall asleep, she wakes me a 5 and I head back to my place to get ready for work.

              Good times, only reason I ended it was due to job relocation.

              [–]thruaway2 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              I'm 37 and didn't get much out of this post, but I'm glad many of you guys did. I was surprised that OP is a smoker and is giving health advice. Everyone thinks they're an authority on health, huh? I was reading a book the other day on computer programming and the guy includes a chapter on health, telling me to eat low-fat. Then I read a book on business and it also included a bunch of BS on diet.

              I guess I'll follow suit: I disagree that weight maintenance is harder as we age. If someone has evidence of this, I'd like to see it. If you lose some muscle as you age because you're not diligent with weight training, yes, you will burn fewer calories, but you will probably also be less hungry. That's how hunger works -- less body mass to maintain means you're satisfied on less food. That's why the tiny Asian lady and the hulking body builder have different appetites.

              If you're metabolically deranged because you eat fast food, instant ramen, Subway sandwiches, etc., then all bets are off. You're not in touch with your body and you feed it crap because you're addicted to convenience foods. I'm lucky -- I have a wheat allergy, and so I have an excuse to avoid all that addictive shitty foods that Americans love and that fuck you up (once you stop eating it, you realize that it's not good, just addictive). I wouldn't eat a Pop Tart, Wheat Thins, Kraft Mac n' Cheese, etc., if you paid me.

              I stick to eggs, meat (I especially love fatty meats), veggies, some fruit (often I drink a whey/banana/veggie smoothie), some rice, potatoes, almond butter, greek yogurt, nuts, dark chocolate and a bit of ice cream and I'm golden. Thai, Vietnamese, Mexican or Chipotle when eating out. If I were eating sandwiches and pizza (two things I haven't had in years), I'm sure my shitty habits would catch up to me and I'd look like every other mid-30s guy. I LOVE not having a beer belly, and the women comment on how fit I am.

              For context, I was a fat teen and have the same body type as overweight people in my family, yet I lost weight when I was about 18 and have kept it off for 20 years now. I'm 5'11", 170 lbs and have a 32-inch waist.

              Weight training is great. I don't need cardio, but occasionally I do a bit of HIT on an exercise bike. Weights keep me in excellent physical condition - on a couple of occasions I've run a 5K for charity with zero training beforehand and I made decent time. I believe that running on pavement on a regular basis is generally a bad idea, and I definitely don't aspire to look like most of the flabby and/or skinny fat runners I see every day.

              I'm also glad that most of the weights are free in the gym because people are sweating it out on the cardio equipment, and then going home and trying to resist the urge to eat another bowl of cereal (because they've burned calories, and now they're bodies want to make it up). My strategy is to keep adequate muscle tissue and eat enough protein and fat to be satiated, not to get on the hamster wheel of trying to burn more and more calories.

              The internet, including Reddit, has gone crazy for deadlifts and squats. You don't need either if you're fitness goals are aesthetics and feeling good. Deadlifts will fuck you up. "Not if you use perfect form." Nobody uses perfect form, not even elite weight lifters. Squats are OK (I do them), but be reasonable. If you want to squat 400 because that's important to you, go ahead, but don't do it for health reasons.

              [–]MartialWay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Great post. Your 40s are your test as a man. If you've lived your life right, developed healthy habits, avoided the traps, stayed "with it" they can be an amazing time. If you didn't, you're paying for all the shit you used to get away with.

              [–]1Dev_on 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Oh man the young ones drive me nuts. Had my SOs 24 year old niece and her friend in the house for 4 days. I wanted to stab myself in the neck with a pen. They were only 5s, I can imagine how much worse a 9 would be. I thought they were 18, between their not believing in passing for parking... Parents paying to keep them out of jail because of it, the regret of not being married right out of high school... Every conversation just showed someone who had never had consequence in their life...

              No tits and ass are worth that, unless they don't talk around me

              [–]BNMPT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Great post.

              I'm in my mid-30s and I couldn't agree more with regards to having patience for young girls (other than sex). Stopped spinning plates as I lacked the energy and time to do it and simply wanted a quiet time and something more meaningful. My drive for chase and libido is not the same as in my 20s - and that is fine.

              I'm in a LTR w a single mom for about 1 year, she's 8 years younger and, despite all the TRP horror reports, I'm doing alright. She ticks every box in my list (apart from the kid, obv) and comparing to women around my age (many also w kids), it's a much better option. Now, if you're a young man, your options and testosterone levels may dictate otherwise. Just do whatever you feel is right for you but always from a TRP frame. This will change with age.

              [–]walkoffhr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              It's great to see older guys represented on RP. I'm over 50 and enjoyed reading this post and it's comments. I understand the statements made by the younger guys about older women being unattractive. There's no reason otherwise for them to think this way. They should be gaming younger women who for the most part are unattainable by guys my age. If I were to bed a woman under 25 years old, I'd consider her a 9-10 by that fact alone, excluding the fatties of course.

              My view of a woman's SMV changes as I get older. A women over 40 can be very attractive if she takes good care of herself. I'll rate a good looking older woman as: "for a woman over 40" she's definitely an 8 or 9. I know it's subjective, but as an old guy it's how I see it.

              Women in their 30's and 40's are easy to game. They are looking for providers. The majority of the women I met on dating sites have tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. They're looking for someone to pay off the balance so they can start over again. Using your money this time. If you play it that you're willing to be a woman's provider you can bang her for a couple of weeks then dump her for the next one. Just keep the rotation going.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Fantastic. A quality post. Thank you for taking the time! As a guy in my 30s, this rings true.

              [–]gran_helvetia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Solid post - they had been missing

              [–]The Private ManZamarski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              As the older dude 'round these parts, I can vouch for all these things. I don't follow them all but they are all great for you younger guys.

              [–]Hamilton950B 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              On the subject of hats: The general rule is you never wear one indoors. Especially one with a brim. Outdoors they are fine but make sure it's stylish. The problem being that many bars and restaurants these days don't provide a place to leave your hat.

              [–]AlphaAsFAQ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              You're the type of bloke I would love to have a beer with and shoot the shit. You're where I want to be in my 40s.

              Thanks for the insight and the reassurance that my choices so far and my plans made are alright.

              [–]HS-Thompson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Just want to say that as someone who is squarely in the same age range as the OP, this advice is absolutely dead on, not really a single word or sentence I would disagree with.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Thanks for writing this all out. As a younger guy, seeing what's up ahead is definitely useful and will prepare me for what is to come.

              [–]dented_halo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I'm 42 and took the red pill several years ago. This post is spot on - good job, OP! You'll take a few dings and dents along the way but that is life. Suck it up, lift and be a man.

              [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 3 points4 points  (2 children)

              This post has an interesting paradox. On one hand he jumped on the health, fitness, longevity bandwagon. That's cool. On the other hand this dude is a lifetime heavy drinker and sees giving up alcohol as beta.

              Here's a thought if you go out and drink heavily several times a month, you're not serious about your health or fitness. Sure this fucker can jack off to the idea of fitness and health. But if he isn't willing to give up alcohol its all fucking bullshit. Alcohol makes you fat and gives you flat dehydrated muscles. Its also one of the worst drugs for you.

              Fitness is about sacrifice. If you want to look better than everyone else than you cant drink like everyone else. You cant eat like everyone else. You cant train like everyone else. You cant be like everyone else.

              Do yourself a favor. Stop drinking. Stop hanging out with losers and actually spend time working on yourself. I don't need alcohol to get laid. You don't need alcohol to get laid.

              [–]Holden_Frame 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Damn. This sounds like a rant from the temperance movement.

              Having a couple of drinks is relaxing and acts as a social lubricant. It's not about "needing" to drink.

              Not everybody feels the need to look like a jersey shore cast member. You can be "in shape" and still enjoy a drink.

              [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Sounds like an excuse to look like shit

              [–]redyup 2 points3 points  (6 children)

              There needs to be a r/trpMature

              [–]JeromeMorrow13 9 points10 points  (0 children)

              I actually disagree. If you do this then Balkanization will take place. Young guys have much to learn from those who have more life experience. It's nice to see this post as a contrast to the "Lift, just lift" posts.

              [–]1Dev_on 1 point2 points  (3 children)

              There'd be a lot less people treating it like r seduction, that's for sure

              [–]redyup 3 points4 points  (2 children)

              I'm just getting tired of seeing all of the anger.

              [–]imaRPman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Me too. I think its normal and most guys have no where else to be angry.

              I'm not against marriage or kids either. Its been a huge part of my life and i have no regrets.

              [–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              fuckin yes... Telling people about the anger phase I find was one of the worst things ever. Now everyone can chalk up their insecurities to the anger phase, instead of manning up.

              [–][deleted]  (6 children)


                [–]workdavework 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                Having botox or surgery means you care what others think as you're hiding it from them. Hiding it from them means youre scared what they'll say about it, and being scared =weak.

                Confidence would be being self assured enough to not care what others think about a few wrinkles, and living your life without worrying what others think

                [–]sweetgene05 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                i'm on the fence with the above comment

                makeup, botox, plastic surgery.....all the same thing, which is females doing what they can to improve SMV.

                [–]rocklion200 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                Plastic surgery, botox, etc. are for women trying to reverse the wall and reach back toward something they'll never achieve. Men have no wall. Aging for men is to be welcomed not shamed. Take the advice on here. Workout. Eat healthy. Show you are high value. Don't botox because all it does is show your insecurities.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                  [–]rocklion200 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  If you are reaching for your wallet to try and hide flaws then, yes, it is insecurity. Its not that hard to date 20 year olds in your 40s without artificial means. The fact is most women view older men as more sexy than those younger because they have confidence, know how to be gentlemanly and in the end men age better than women.

                  If your trying to buy your looks to get women then power to you. But I think you'd find me and multiple older men are dating younger without that. Its not "optimistic." Its reality. But perhaps you live in South Beach or LA,where that is common. In my area if you botox, you'd look like a fish out of water

                  [–]drallcom3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  That's for women. Men need to lift and wear nice cloths.

                  [–]masturbator9000 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                  Mid 20's guy here. I recently started wondering a lot about the topic of aging and how it'll affect me. Mostly because I seem to be the only guy in my circle of friends that isn't looking to get married and have kids.

                  Around my age, the first friends around me are starting to have children and that kind of stuff keeps me up at night. Partially because of self doubt and because I'm not sure if I'm setting myself up for failure and unhappiness later in life.

                  Thanks for taking the time to write the post, OP. I really needed that right now.

                  [–]Masonjarteadrinker2 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                  Mid 20's also and I have the same fears and doubts about this.

                  [–]imaRPman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Marriage and kids has been the best part of my life but i started that part too early (25).

                  I didn't have my career settled so my frame was not good. We had some hard years but life is not always perfect.

                  If you find a girl you want to lock in don't waste your chance but it shouldn't be your goal.

                  [–]SuperRed911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  24 here. This post is amazing.

                  [–]strangelyversatile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  This is so inspiring, I'm gonna get on this shit!

                  [–]GhostOfAladdin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Great stuff. I have one thing of value to add.

                  Develop a regular yoga practice. It will keep healthcare costs down and will increase mental clarity.

                  The same forces that make us red pillers are used against males to downplay yoga.

                  [–]drkstrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  When I got into my late 30s I finally developed iron self respect and self confidence. I had a decade at a successful career under my belt, financial security, well developed hobbies and interests and a beautiful home. Finally I realized I was the prize. If you want to get with me you have to bring the full package and actual value to the table. I simply don't need any particular person so a woman would have to be damn impressive on many levels or I have no interest.

                  [–]zrh888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  USE SUNSCREEN. No, I'm not repeating that graduation speech. Really do use sunscreen and don't get tanned and avoid the sun. What makes a person look old is the skin and wrinkles. Fat and muscles you can control. But aging skin and wrinkles is harder to control. I look at lot younger than my real age because I have been consistently using sunscreen since my teens.

                  [–]galluscio65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  49 here, and thank you OP for this - very good reading.

                  Want to chime in on a few points, particularly for the work environment, as I have found over time my work success/confidence and non-work pursuits overlap.

                  Clothes. At work (particularly corporate environment) clothes matter. The number one way to make a good impression is to wear clothes that actually fit. I am fortunate enough to have several good quality handmade suits, but I still have a cheap suit that I bought when job hunting years ago. That cheap suit, after a little time with a tailor, fit me like a glove and I was complimented on it whenever I wore it. How easy is to spot the disheveled guy who looks like he’s wearing his dad’s suit? Or the guy rockin’ the skin-tight Armani, taking a fashion risk, but losing? My message here is buy the best quality you can afford, and whatever you buy, get thee to a tailor.

                  Per the OP, you don’t want to be “that guy in the club”. You also don’t want to be “that guy who dresses like Herb Tarlek” (for you younger guys – he was the character on WKRP in Cincinnati who dressed abysmally). The standard rule of thumb is to dress a little nicer than the situation warrants. Suits at work? You wear a conservative solid blue or grey or a (reserved) pattern. Ties: think Brooks Brothers look. Leave the Jerry Garcia ties for someone else. If you want to be taken seriously, dress seriously. Business casual? Dockers and a golf shirt, right? Wrong. Slacks (wool), dress shirt (no tie), and blazer. Some regional variation permitted. I will never forget the guy who wore cargo pants, boat shoes and golf shirt on casual Friday. Neither did his superiors.

                  The color of your shoes and belt should be the same. Lose the suspenders.

                  Socks are solid and match your trousers; a conservative pattern acceptable. Argyle is for schoolgirls and for porn stars playing schoolgirls.

                  Shaving. Related to the gray hair, shaving every day is required, as seeing a gray film on one’s face is not confidence-inspiring to your higher-ups. If you wear a beard/goatee/van dyke fine, but shave the rest of your face daily. Side note: got into using an old double-edge razor and brush several years ago, and my skin has never been better.

                  Skin: limit sun tanning. You are always more tan than you think you are; don’t go out there like a teenage girl and sit in the sun wearing baby oil as a tanning “accelerator”. More like wrinkle and skin cancer accelerator. Wear sunblock. A little moisturizer goes a long way, too.

                  Sports: I agree with OP on the benefits of competitive sports. I played rugby in college and for several years afterwards; it tested me physically and created relationships that endure to this day.

                  [–]marriedalpha -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

                  Brilliant post, bravo.

                  When dating younger chicks the steadfast rule is 1/2 your age plus seven.

                  30? She should be 22. 40? She should be 27. 50? 32 is a perfect age.

                  Not a steadfast rule but nice guideline.

                  [–]1Trellink 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  This is exactly the line I tow. Works quite well.

                  When I first heard the “half your age plus seven”, I thought it was an abstract gimmick. But it turns out to be a damn good rule of thumb. Particularly since women are more coldly aware of their own aging than men.

                  To a 24 year old, 40 seems like an alien other; the exoticness soon wears off. But to a 27 year old, 40 is a waypoint on a journey they themselves are on. It intrigues and reassures them to see you wear it so well.

                  [–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  We don't do soccer mom voodoo logic in here

                  [–]All__fun -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                  Good write up!

                  Very Similar too Tom Leykis!