top 200 commentsshow all 346

[–]16 Endorsed Contributornicethingyoucanthave 342 points343 points  (16 children)

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Do me a favor: go to the website for the hotel and look at the photos they have of their rooms. Tell me if any of the rooms have couches.

[–]shadymilkman_ 38 points39 points  (1 child)

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Genius, I didn't' even think of that. Then I remembered the last (nice) hotel room I slept in only had a couple of armchairs. Fuck.

[–]dominotw 50 points51 points  (1 child)

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Yes I want to know. Please deliver OP.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

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I have never cared for an OP to deliver as much as I care for this reply.

[–]evergonitenitenigga 14 points15 points  (0 children)

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enhance

[–]TheArvinInUs 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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Oh what tangled webs we weave.

[–]Grumpi83 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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This is fucking excellent, only thing to top it is call the hotel and ask which rooms have couches.

[–]Captain_Self_Promotr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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Even if they did it wouldn't be a couch where one can sleep comfortable. Probably only a two seater. Any man would offer up the bed, and this woman seems like a alpha cunt (business owner, makes more money than him) she probably has more testosterone runnin through her veins. The coolness of the reply is also a sign, her hamster is hiding something and she's fully convinced of it.

[–]Dealbreaker-Jones 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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Holy shit you are clever

[–]x7CR7x 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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...said Sherlock Holmes.

[–]MakeEmSayUhhh 139 points140 points  (4 children)

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Forget the "did she or did she not sleep with him?" debate ... She chose to spend the night on that "couch" instead of calling you to come get her or taking a cab. She wanted to do so. She demonstrated unequivocally that she preferred to be there rather than be with you. End of story.

[–]VelociReactor 28 points29 points  (0 children)

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Yep, the did she or didn't she cheat question is irrelevant.

She wanted to stay the night in another guy's hotel room, otherwise she would've come home.

[–]46xy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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This deserves more upvotes. Concise, and simple.

[–]notnotnotfred 166 points167 points  (6 children)

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women do not spend nights sleeping on hotel room couches.

[–]Kimjungillestt 21 points22 points  (5 children)

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I get this feeling even if she attempted to sleep on the couch, she probably either A) complained about how unsettling it was so he said "ok come into bed with me. or B) he instantly said how about you just come into bed with me. Either way.

[–]notnotnotfred 22 points23 points  (4 children)

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best possible case scenario (though it stretches credulity):

He was the perfect gentleman and made no sexual advances. If he was this great a gentleman, he'd have insisted that she slept on the bed while he slept on the couch.

[–]1FloranHunter 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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In my full beta days I'd have made her sleep on the couch and not come on to her. So it's possible.

[–]Route66_LANparty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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If he was this great a gentleman, he'd have insisted that she slept on the bed while he slept on the couch.

This.

If it's not the half truths we all suspect it to be, there's enough red flags.

[–]Party_Liquor 294 points295 points  (93 children)

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Dude, familiarize yourself with the concept of "trickle truth." Then accept the fact that the dude overwhelmingly likely fucked her.

Sorry man, but i'd bet my house on it.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 161 points162 points  (43 children)

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I don't think I'd bet the house but certainly like $100 or something (it'd be easy money).

As someone else further down stated. It could be that the 'client' is in fact a strongly honorable beta who rejected her advances or did not make any himself. However, the fact she's getting drunk enough to pass out on some dude's couch in his hotel room even if nothing happened means she's certainly not LTR material. It also does not mean it didn't happen at some other time. Downgrade from GF/LTR to Plate or Pump and Dump (mostly dump at this point).

[–]1pcadrian 146 points147 points  (9 children)

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the fact she's getting drunk enough to pass out on some dude's couch in his hotel room even if nothing happened means she's certainly not LTR material

End of discussion.

[–]ButterMyBiscuit 35 points36 points  (0 children)

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Yeah, whether she did or didn't cheat I'd be done after that.

[–]nerdyfitnessguy 17 points18 points  (6 children)

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Yep, that's all there really is to it. Don't even think about letting her off easy. Next.

[–]1pcadrian 3 points4 points  (5 children)

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Not necessarily next, she'll probably make a good sex playmate. But definitely no LTR with this type of woman.

[–]nerdyfitnessguy 34 points35 points  (4 children)

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To each their own. It would be a pride & respect issue for me. No pussy is worth sacrificing those for.

[–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr 15 points16 points  (2 children)

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Exactly. Plates have an expiration date, keep them past it and you're only hurting yourself in the long run.

[–]drrtyfrrnr 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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Can you elaborate on this? What are some of the pitfalls of keeping a plate spinning past it's expiration date and how do you know you're in a bad situation like that?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Power.

You want to be the one doing the dumping, not the one getting dumped.

A girl saying "He dumped me" to her friends has a vastly different effect on their view of you than "I got bored of him"

When shit starts wobbling all over the place, you're much better served just putting it down and concentrating on getting new ones up to speed or maintaining other plates stability.

How do you know when things are past their expiration date? Your gut will tell you. If it doesn't, spin more plates and eventually you'll come to realize the signs.

[–]nninja 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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Yup, pussy like that is not worth your time.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

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However, the fact she's getting drunk enough to pass out on some dude's couch in his hotel room even if nothing happened means she's certainly not LTR material.

It's very simple, look at the way the women on /r/RedPillWomen treat their men, and compare them to your girlfriend. If she is not even on the same wavelength as them, then either keep them as a plate or next them. It's legitimately as simple as that.

Thank you /r/RedPillWomen for showing me what a true significant other should be like.

[–]Party_Liquor 16 points17 points  (25 children)

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Women are beyond contemptable. I would never put anything past a woman.

Don't we always say on here always trust a woman to act like a woman, right? She exhibited classic hypergamous, cheating behavior and people here are still WK'ing her? Seriously? She saw an oportunity to potentially swing to a higher branch and she took it.

Probability that dude was all up in her guts: 1

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 19 points20 points  (1 child)

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Yeah. I did say either way he should probably just dump her ass. Not worth dealing with this shit for someone you've only been fucking for like 3 months.

[–]turnballZ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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truth right there. 3 months isn't enough to get caught on the hook

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 14 points15 points  (0 children)

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People do fucked up things, not just women, the difference is how women get a pussy pass when they cheat. They lie and people don't call them on their bullshit, why would she lie if nothing happened? I don't dislike them, but I sure as fuck don't trust them more than men, and it takes a hell of a lot more for a woman to gain my trust than a man, simply because of how they are awarded it by so many people.

Everyone is contemptuous until they prove otherwise.

[–]meowlolcats 48 points49 points  (19 children)

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Women are beyond contemptable

contempt: inferior, base, or worthless

Easy there. I like this forum for helping guys do/get what's best for them but let's not turn into complete psychopaths. They make up a little over half the population of the planet. Hating them/having such a bigoted view isn't going to do yourself any favours in getting along with most people... if you live somewhere civilized anyway.

[–]robesta 16 points17 points  (11 children)

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Many women would say the same thing when it comes to a man's desire to fuck lots of women. The contempt comes from a different biological impulse that is difficult to relate to. When a man sees a woman for who she is and what drives her, it does give most men feelings of contempt. Loyalty, honor, and personal responsibility do not exist in their paradigm.

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 11 points12 points  (3 children)

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Loyalty, honor, and personal responsibility do not exist in their paradigm

They have them, but they can hamster them away very easily, there is very little downside for them to blow those things off, because someone somewhere will want to fuck her.

[–]robesta 13 points14 points  (2 children)

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In the past, there were major downsides to women engaging in behaviors such as casual sex, pregnancy, and adultery. Consequently, these behaviors were much less likely to occur and then only in secret. Since the stigma accompanying these behaviors has been lifted and beautiful innovations such as alimony, child support and no-fault divorce developed, these behaviors have exploded.

Woman evolved to be survivors first and foremost. Loyalty, honor, and personal responsibility do not help survival.

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorWhisper 47 points48 points  (1 child)

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And if she didn't, then "trickle escalation" applies.

Once all the truths have trickled out, the level of infidelity she's now at becomes the new baseline, and next time, additional truths will accumulate.

Ultimately, it's not important whether she sexed him or not. Because she's putting herself in a situation where it might happen. So if didn't happen this time, it will next time. And if there is no next time with this guy, there will be with another.

We all know how you seduce women. It's a gradual process of building both excitement and comfort, in some combination. And we all know that getting her drunk is a possible stage in that process. And that getting to not go home, but sleep here instead because she's tired, is a possible stage in that process. And we know where that process ends.

It doesn't matter how far along that path she is. She's walking it.

And women don't do that unless they like where the path is going. Because they know full well from step one where it's going. The graduality of the process is just about ASD. If they genuinely wouldn't consider sex with you, then they don't get in situations like this. Period.

[–]iKill_eu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Once all the truths have trickled out, the level of infidelity she's now at becomes the new baseline, and next time, additional truths will accumulate.

Absolutely. If you let her do this without repercussions, then this will be her new "ok" level, and it will only go on from there.

[–]viowastaken 18 points19 points  (0 children)

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Who cares if she fucked him or not? Honestly, as people have already pointed out here the other shit she pulled should be way more than enough to end it anyways.

This entire debate is like "you ate two pills, one cyanide and the other arsenic. I think the arsenic is the one that killed you."

Irrelevant. Next that fucking whore, preferably immediately after fucking her in a German-pornography-esque fashion.

[–]savingalphalinks 12 points13 points  (8 children)

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What is trickle truth for those that don't know? I have a vague understanding of it through context

[–]pauly_pants 74 points75 points  (2 children)

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The truth comes out slowly. Example: "I fell asleep on his couch." Two days later: "He tried to kiss me." Three days later: "I might have kissed him back." Four days later: "We fooled around, but no penetration." Two weeks later: "I've been fucking him this whole time and I'm pregnant with his baby. Do you still love me?"

[–]DeckofLuckyStrikes 30 points31 points  (1 child)

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And don't forget they're often in tears the more the truth comes out.

[–]md619 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Of course. How else is she supposed to emotionally manipulate you into forgiving her?

[–]Gabelat 21 points22 points  (1 child)

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More and more truth gets revealed slowly.

First she says she had too much to drink and fell asleep on a couch.

Later she says she was with a client (and had food) and fell asleep on HIS couch.

What do you think the next level is?

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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[deleted]

    [–]anonimouse628 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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    The lie-by-omission is key here. Even if she's pregnant, she'll claim it's yours and a condom broke until you show her the paternity test.

    [–]386essex 11 points12 points  (0 children)

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    Trickle truth is the relationship version of death by a thousand cuts.

    [–]apotshot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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    I've been preaching the trickle truth for a long time and it gets so much hate.... and the later there's an UPDATE: SHE BLEW HIM AND HIS 20 FRIENDS and I laugh.

    [–]Endorsed Contributor2comment 132 points133 points  (13 children)

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    My gut says she fucked him, and you're the one being apologetic while she's playing you like a violin. There is very little reason for her to go to his room and stay the night otherwise. The drinking is an excuse. At worst, she should have called you up to pick her up.

    "Caesar's wife must be above suspicion."

    [–]slcjosh 75 points76 points  (12 children)

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    or she could have called a fucking cab.

    [–]ayjayred 41 points42 points  (5 children)

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    seriously. a cab. don't people use this anymore?

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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    [deleted]

      [–]ayjayred 41 points42 points  (2 children)

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      if she was smarter than an average plate of hamsters (pun intended), she would have fucked the guy then called a cab afterwards.

      [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (2 children)

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      Not ltr material.

      [–]Lilcheeks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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      Yea regardless of anything else(whether she fucked him, whether she was just getting wasted and that's all it was sleeping on a couch), I think that's the obvious bottom line.

      [–]dr_bloodmoney 76 points77 points  (2 children)

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      Drop all contact. Just assume she fucked the guy and be done with it. I have no idea why anything else is being discussed. Your email was way too long and you never should have sent it.

      Edit: No woman is ever going to make me wonder. Ever. I'd rather let it go and find something else. Let's not succumb to the symptoms of oneitis. There is someone else waiting in line. If you have never completely cut a woman off, and I mean without a goddamn word of explanation, then you should try it. It is a powerful feeling not putting up with someone's bullshit behavior and taking charge of the situation. You are defining your standards here. How high are you going to set them?

      [–]itsmehobnob 13 points14 points  (0 children)

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      You are defining your standards here. How high are you going to set them?

      I love this line. It can apply to almost all interactions with people.

      [–]1Modified_Hackware 61 points62 points  (24 children)

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      • Best case scenario:

      Starts drinking at 1500, conversation is going well enough to continue this until late o'clock crashes on sofa and sleeps - guy is honorable.

      • Worst case scenario:

      I don't even need to write it.

      For me, the best scenario is still terrible, if you want to be with me you won't be a boozer that get's sloppy pass out drunk with men I don't know. Whilst I have no issue with girls who will or can do that (I don't expect or need you to change girls!)- just don't expect me to date you. It's horribly unattractive - and the lack of shame after the fact seals it in.

      [–]Phaint 53 points54 points  (18 children)

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      You're forgetting she also had plans with him but just went dark on them.

      [–]RPGoon 80 points81 points  (16 children)

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      She thought she had a branch to swing to. Women go dark because they have no thoughts for someone of lower value. You simply don't exist in their mind. But in the end it turns out she got used instead and then tried to trickle truth OP to grab the old branch back.

      [–]Party_Liquor 23 points24 points  (0 children)

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      This right here. This is exactly what happened.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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      [deleted]

        [–]VelociReactor 8 points9 points  (2 children)

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        Yep that's a huge red flag there.. they want to see your phone and keep an eye on you, but if you ask for the same, they freak out.

        Reminds me of that post I think was on here a while ago about a guys gf wanting to GPS TRACK HIM because he was working late all the time (He was only working a bunch because he wanted to get a ring and propose)

        So he fucking lets the chick track him on find my friends and gives her all the passwords to his fb,gmail etc....

        and then when he asks for the same in return from her she says HELL NO! You have no reason not to trust me!!

        In all likelyhood she was the one cheating, just trying to distract from that by accusing the dude.

        I think the last I heard he figured it out and dumped her.

        And the girl almost suckered him into a beta provider marriage.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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          conversation is going well enough to continue this until late o'clock crashes on sofa and sleeps

          Even then, this guy is passively boyfriend destroying OP and she isn't doing anything to stop it.

          [–]workacct20910 54 points55 points  (6 children)

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          Get out. My ex fiance did this to me. I forgave. Three months later she broke up with me when I caught her out drinking with him again.

          [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 64 points65 points  (21 children)

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          This is eerily similar to how my last relation-shit (the one the helped me find this sub) finally blew up and ended almost 2 months ago. She kisses me goodbye at 11am on a Saturday morning, and tells me she's going to the "mall" with a couple friends. Seeing as how I'd rather slam my cock in a car door than gallivant around a mall looking at women's shoes all day, I decided to stay back and work on my BBQ skills (wanna compete in it eventually).

          I don't hear a word from her for literally 9 hours, when she texts me simply "whatcha doin?". At this point, I'm fucking furious, and I now recognize (after coming to this sub) that she was subjecting me to a major "shit test." So I reply, "going to see a movie with friends, as you obviously have no intention of coming home." She replies back nothing after that. I come home around 1am, expecting to find her car in the driveway. Nothing.

          It was this that finally brought me to TRP. After having what I would call a "rapture of clarity", and reading other stories on here, I text her at 1:30am and say "why don't we just break the fuck up and get it over already."

          I'm pretty sure I know who she was fucking, but I was at a point the following morning that I really didn't give a shit. She comes home at 11am on Sunday, and gives me a line of bullshit how she went to her mothers house and then over to her friends house. I called her on it, was about to demand she tell me the truth, but then stopped myself, took a deep breath, smiled wide, and said "be gone when I get back", and then went to help my dad with a project at my parents house. Came back 3 hours later, her shit was gone, and I had a strange sense of relief I hadn't felt in years.

          Pill swallowed.

          [–]molecularpanda 21 points22 points  (2 children)

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          I love the ending, that was amazing. So much dignity.

          [–]nninja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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          Yes, that's what it was. You kept you dignity, you didn't even get angry and shout etc.

          [–]greedo_posted_first 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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          I called her on it, was about to demand she tell me the truth, but then stopped myself, took a deep breath, smiled wide, and said "be gone when I get back"

          Perfect.

          [–]winnnnnnnnn 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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          Can someone please hand this man an Oscar!

          [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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          I was with her for 4 years. Wasn't easy to do, but I knew it was the right thing to do after stumbling onto the manosphere that night and eventually finding this place.

          [–]VelociReactor 7 points8 points  (9 children)

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          hahaha you handled that perfectly.

          If she was truly innocent, she would have continued to argue with you and fight for the truth of what she was actually doing.

          Obviously it was all lies/trickle truth otherwise she wouldn't have been so passive once she knew you had it all figured out.

          [–]AveofSpades 11 points12 points  (1 child)

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          If she was truly innocent, she would have continued to argue with you and fight for the truth of what she was actually doing.

          Some of the realest shit ever said: Bill Burr 2 min clip on how women argue

          [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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          Oh she was VERY passive. When I walked out to leave, she gave me the same face my dog gives me when he's shit on the carpet and knows he's done something wrong. That pouty eyed guilty look.

          [–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 34 points35 points  (5 children)

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          Out of curiousity, what is your next step? "No contact" protocol implemented? Downgrade her status to just part of the dating pool, without bothering to inform her? Further discussion to see just how far she really went with her client?

          [–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (4 children)

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          I'm curious as well. Honestly, I truly believe she is lying.

          [–]netgrey 44 points45 points  (3 children)

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          Trickle truth.

          [–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (2 children)

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          Must be a rich guy to have a couch in his hotel room.

          [–]1Modified_Hackware 37 points38 points  (0 children)

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          Plot twist. There was no couch - if this gets called up she was too drunk to remember.

          [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (5 children)

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          Next is right. How long have you been dating her? This is a massive red flag. So what's next?

          [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 21 points22 points  (4 children)

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          So what's next?

          Different pussy, maybe spin ex as a plate. (I hope this is OP's answer)

          [–]Clauderoughly 22 points23 points  (6 children)

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          She fucked him.

          No man brings a woman back to his hotel room to "sleep on the couch"

          What stopped her getting a cab ? Or calling you to come pick her up?

          I can tell you what stopped her, it was his cock in her mouth.

          [–]iggybdawg 3 points4 points  (5 children)

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          I don't think I've ever seen a hotel room with a couch.

          [–]Clauderoughly 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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          I have seen hotel rooms with couches.. but they are always hard, uncomfortable things.

          She slept in his bed, after riding his cock.

          [–]Carbone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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          I was like ... man this is hard to read . But I doublecheck my though ... this subreddit is for man, and man don't set back their word, they speak freely without restrain.

          sadly ... yes, she indeed did this .

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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          [deleted]

            [–]1kick6 17 points18 points  (1 child)

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            A decent woman would worry about how it appeared. The fact that she doesn't even care says she probably took the D.

            [–]nninja 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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            Exactly. It looks bad even if she didn't have a bf.

            [–]chunkit1234 5 points6 points  (2 children)

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            you'll never get the time you wasted on her back but you've hopefully learned some valuable lessons.

            [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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            true. I used to look at life like that, the whole "I wish I could have that time back, etc, but I now see life as having no negative experiences, only learning lessons to improve upon going forward.

            [–]2jagrmeister721 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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            I'm done explaining.

            You're done, period.

            OP- as you have surmised, your GF's two "apologies" are non-apologies. First, she admitted nothing until you pressed her. Next, she gives you this sly response claiming this is all about bailing on a date. It's not. It's about her going back to some other dude's hotel room and spending the night. There is no way that is acceptable, in my book. None. My guess is she probably f*cked the other guy; but the point is you shouldn't have to guess. There's no reason she should be spending the night with another guy, whatever their "sleeping arrangements". (Getting into a debate with her on what happened in that room that night is pointless.)

            There are many women. This one seems to act like she has the upper hand because she's successful. So she can "play alpha" and you have to be the beta b*tch in the background, hoping and praying the alpha didn't spread it around. Even the tone of her message screams "Career Bitch" who's internalized purely masculine values (and the worst ones at that). If this were another women who just make a dumb mistake, you might plate her for a little longer. But this seems like it had a lot of volition to it, her exercising her power in the relationship. I would NEXT her.

            [–]parvic[S] 29 points30 points  (103 children)

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            Three months. Here's my initial email.

            I didn't know if you were in an accident, got a DUI, went home with some guy - whatever. That's your prerogative. But you couldn't take 30 secs to send a message that you're not coming over? What if I did that to you? And then sent some lame excuse about drinking too much the next day. I wouldn't treat someone that way.

            [–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

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            The e-mail was a little intense considering the length of the relationship. I would have just told her that such behavior is unacceptable and likely would have dumped her. She is lying about what happened.

            [–]FemtoG 61 points62 points  (0 children)

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            a little too wordy and emotional. anyway, next is the only answer as im sure you know

            [–]1Modified_Hackware 23 points24 points  (2 children)

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            I'd drop that line personally. Sounds too much like whinging (I think you're justified and fine in what you've written) but unless mistaken that'll likely be received as:

            Wow I told him what happened I was honest now he's acting like a moaning parent - how unattractive, maybe I was right to suck that guys cock after all. I wonder if I can get Parvic to keep paying for shit for a while - I just wanna have fun!

            I'd have recommended (after the fact granted):

            I expect you to check in with me so I know you're not dead. Squash whatever made you think doing that was OK because it's not.

            Then take it from there. As it stands I would downgrade her to a plate.

            EDIT: Having read her response get rid of her. She's a cunt.

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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            Very good post. Goes from complaining(being the victim) to leading. Very attractive quality.

            Still she comes across at best as very unpleasant.

            [–]nninja 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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            good edit lol

            [–]ekjohnson9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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            Too much explanation. She's not a child, you don't have to explain it to her. Just let her know you're done with her and that's it. Rewrite this with two sentences. You're showing her that you're invested by making comparisons. You're not invested, the share price hit below your stop loss so you sold all your shares.

            [–]parvic[S] 7 points8 points  (92 children)

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            My follow up email after her "full disclosure".

            I'm sorry that I left you hanging last night, and understand the need to kill time. I did need to work, though, and I made the right decision. Got my little mini-project completed today and felt good about it. Occasionally I have to put in some extra hours, and have done every night this week to try and comprehend and then solve a problem.

            I'm not mad at you. I was worried last night, and I was annoyed this morning. Now, I'm just sad. I really had a good time this weekend and was looking forward to seeing you last night. I was developing some strong feelings for you. I appreciate the full disclosure, but it also felt like a kick in the gut. You can attempt to rationalize it by drinking water etc, or how much you had to drink, but the fact is that you did 'go home with some guy' and that's a deal-breaker for me. So don't call me make me out for thinking that, when in fact that's exactly what happened. (You can say I wouldn't have known if you hadn't told me, but my first compunction this morning was to ask, whose couch? Nikki's?) But you would've texted me if you were staying there.

            Again, put yourself in my shoes. Honestly, how would you feel if I walked a female client back to her hotel suite, ignored your messages, and went to sleep on the couch, only to text you in the morning? I don't think you'd be too happy with it.

            [–]parvic[S] 18 points19 points  (71 children)

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            Yeah, not exactly RP, but I'm making that transition from being a beta doormat. No contact will be my next step. I might post one of her emails where she puts it back on me.

            [–]parvic[S] 8 points9 points  (66 children)

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            Her email: Obviously my apologies fell upon deaf ears. Please read my entire emails again if you need to. I don't feel guilty because I didn't betray your trust, didn't do anything I would regret other than disappoint you and make you worry. That's why I'm not apologizing for it. Like I said, you have the right to be upset. I would be. It would make me feel somewhat insecure (the male/female dynamic) after I knew the story. The disconnect here is that you made your mind up before you knew the story. I put myself in a bad situation, admittedly, and you don't seem to trust my judgment or reasoning as to why things played out the way they did.

            I've been accused of being insensitive and cold in the past, and I don't try to be that way. I just don't apologize for things I didn't do. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be hurt and insecure in your shoes. I would be, but I would hear you out before telling you of the elaborate stories I imagined in my mind, which we all do.

            I'm trying to answer your questions. I'm admitting my mistakes. I told you I was embarrassed my my actions, but that's not the same as being ashamed of who I am. I've tried to validate your hurt feelings and sense of injustice. I apologize if I wasn't clear enough.

            Above all else, I will always admit my mistakes. I'm not egocentric, and I think I care about my impact on others more than most.

            Despite what you might think, I really take it as a sign of respect when people call me out. I only call out people I respect enough to call out. I value it. I need it. In this case, I've asked you what more you need from me and what I haven't addressed. I genuinely want to know, because I care about how I impact you, and because it's important for me to take ownership and right my wrongs.

            What am I missing?

            [–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 65 points66 points  (2 children)

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            What am I missing?

            Judgement, humility, and empathy.

            [–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (1 child)

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            Yeah. Ditching your boyfriend for some random "client" when you are likely a phone call or cab ride away is serious bull shit.

            [–]agiantslor 13 points14 points  (0 children)

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            That right there is enough for a dump IMO.

            [–][deleted]  (7 children)

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            [deleted]

              [–]Pushnikov 35 points36 points  (6 children)

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              Oh, it's even BETTER man. Took me a few times to catch this gem :

              Obviously my apologies fell upon deaf ears. Please read my entire emails again if you need to. I don't feel guilty because I didn't betray your trust, didn't do anything I would regret other than disappoint you and make you worry. That's why I'm not apologizing for it.

              Did she or did she not apologize for something that "fell on deaf ears"?? Haha.

              [–]ekjohnson9 21 points22 points  (2 children)

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              The "deaf ears" expression is a HUGE tell for lying. She wrote the message not spoke it. The fact she used an audible expression over a written one indicates she probably acted this out to herself in order to get her story straight.

              I know it sounds asinine, but fucking up expressions or phrases is a huge sign of lying because they're focusing on the details (because they invented them) rather than the delivery.

              [–]dvrzero 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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              Well just to counter, NLP says you're wrong unless her normal phrasing is aural.

              Edit: she used one other aural keyword and no visual or tactile keywords. So at least it's relatively consistent.

              [–]lucoztazade 34 points35 points  (1 child)

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              You have apologised more than she has.

              [–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 30 points31 points  (0 children)

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              And with more sincerity.

              [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

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              Oh jesus... this is a pristine example of the hamster. She is "admitting her mistakes" all right. But she is leaving out the gruesome details (hamster). In her eyes, all is well because she "apologized". Even though her words sound good, remember to pay attention to what a woman does, and not what they say.

              Honestly my friend, I think you need to go no contact and find some other girls.

              [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 21 points22 points  (1 child)

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              Your first email was totally cringe, dude. Just being honest. Saying how you were staying up worried about how something could have happened to her. I mean those are the types of guys girls completely fuck over and forget about (JUST like what happened in this incident; not even 10 sec to open her phone and text you. Come on cuh).

              And her response email is a slap in the face on top of it. Saying she is "embarrassed" by her actions means she fucked the guy. She was probably drunk and fucked the guy while half passed out, so it doesn't "count" in her mind. I know this because girls do this with me all the freakin' time. And any girl who puts herself in a position to go home with a guy even to pass out is not worth it. It's not like he forced/dragged her to his room. She went on her own. think about that.

              The best thing now would be to cut contact. Spin other plates. Get out to the bars with friends. Only if she reinitiates contact do you decide if you want to bring her back. But keep in mind her priority on your fuck ladder should be dead last and she should be nothing more than a wet hole on the weekends.

              [–]16 Endorsed Contributornicethingyoucanthave 9 points10 points  (0 children)

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              Your first email was totally cringe, dude.

              I agree. I think that over text I would have just replied with "lol" and in person, I would stick to asking why she didn't text. She'd say it was because she "just fell asleep" but I'd point out that at some point she made the decision to crash on the couch. She somehow got from the bar to the couch. There's lots of time in there to text me - hell, I could have some to pick you up.

              So, I'd stay on that point - why didn't you text.

              ...because the answer is, "I was getting fucked"

              [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (9 children)

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              She's a pro at gaslighting, but nothing we haven't seen before.

              [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

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              Just read a few lines, already decided she is a horrible bitch. She almost definitely fucked him, based on the ruthlessness of her message.

              She said she did nothing she regrets and accepts what she did was going to upset and disappointed you in the first three lines. She doesn't regret that? Major disrespect. Reply with "k, see ya" and never ever communicate again.

              [–]monsieurhire2 13 points14 points  (0 children)

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              Her whole letter is very weaselish and written in lawyer-speak. She apologizes to you, but then says she doesn't do anything wrong. She says she's embarrassed, but not ashamed.

              She fails to understand that she did the following things wrong:

              1. Blew you off;
              2. Never communicated to you where she was spending the night;
              3. Spent the night with an inappropriate party guaranteed to make any boyfriend feel like shit;
              4. Got drunk;
              5. Used drunken-ness as an excuse;
              6. She did in fact betray your trust because she did something that would make ANY boyfriend suspicious;
              7. Writes a weaselish, lawyerly letter.

              What she should have done:

              Assuming she didn't cheat, she should just say that what she did was completely wrong, that in no way what she did was excusable, and that she'll never do it again, ever, to anyone. She didn't do that. She sounds like an arrogant bitch. Dump her and move on.

              Edit:

              Also, in these situations, NEVER apologize to them. Rake them over the coals like an inquisitor. Don't let them deflect it back onto you. In her letter, she seems to try to suggest that you were wrong to feel insecure, without actually saying it, and that you were wrong to make up elaborate stories in your head. You were NOT wrong. That's a very normal, human thing to do. She was wrong to put you in the position to feel those entirely predictable set of emotions.

              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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              [deleted]

                [–]AceroInoxidable 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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                Why soft next instead of hard next?

                [–]itsmehobnob 9 points10 points  (1 child)

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                because I care about how I impact you

                Notice the careful wording. She didn't say, "because I care about you."

                [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

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                I'm not egocentric

                Just count how many times she used "I" ... hint: a lot

                [–]blazingblue16 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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                LOL I was going to post that too. 38 if I didn't miscount.

                [–]Multicorn 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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                Fuck that bitch. She said she's not apologizing because she didn't do anything wrong "other than X and Y". So she's basically saying, hey I did these two shitty things to you, but you can go fuck yourself.

                You better quick put a ring on it.

                edit - Also some Grade-A hamstering and trickle truth all over in there.

                [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 18 points19 points  (8 children)

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                I would spin her as a plate. If you choose to spin her as a plate, the ethics of how you want to spin her are up to you. Then again, this is coming from a guy that doesn't do LTRs anymore, and doesn't like dealing with the type of shit she's pulling.

                Here is how I would handle it if I for some reason wanted her as an LTR:

                "You slept over at a clients hotel room. You were scheduled to come over yesterday night, and not only did you fail to do that, you failed to notify me that you weren't coming, and you failed to notify me that you were ok. This is not the quality behavior that I expect from a woman that I am dating. As of this moment, this is not a relationship anymore. Do not try to sway me, you will fail. If you want to have anything to do with me, then you will do this, this, and this. If you choose to do that, text me "I'm ready to do it", I will ignore all other communication. If you choose not to, then this is goodbye."

                This is the long term approach. If that's what you want.

                It's not over at this point if you take this approach. When you finally meet her on your terms, you need to tell her: "the next time something like this happens, and you fail to take a rational approach like calling me or calling a cab, and then blaming it on something is going to be the last time I have anything to do with you."

                STOP fucking jumping into her frame. She's not fucking retarded. She knows what she's doing. You already fucked it up enough with your apologizing and rational explanation. Think about it, if she can't connect the dots, why the hell would you want her as a long term partner?

                [–]Multicorn 18 points19 points  (3 children)

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                I went over to a plate's place a few weeks back for a hookup we had planned. Ended up standing on the porch for about 5 minutes with no answer at the door or the phone. Next day she texts that she was (disingenuously) sorry for missing me; she fell asleep. I don't even care if that was the truth, that was shitty and disrespectful and she's gone. Didn't even tell her. Kept that plate spinning for 2 years and dropped it like that. Maybe I was a little extreme, but I won't tolerate the slightest bit of this bullshit after spending my 20's as a "beta doormat".

                [–]Sinistar_Lives 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                That's a tough road to walk, but I respect you for doing it.

                [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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                [deleted]

                  [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 5 points6 points  (2 children)

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                  I can't see a reason to continue that as a long term relationship myself. Then again, I don't do long term anymore.

                  I think the psychological causes of her behavior are deeply rooted, and I'm not going to play therapist. I'm not in the business of teaching women how to think. I could, but I don't want to. More costs than benefits for me.

                  [–]AbraxianAeon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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                  While I don't trust women at all I think this story is very fishy and possibly troll bait.

                  Something doesn't add up.

                  [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  To be honest with you, even if it doesn't, I heard of so much of this shit happening on /r/relationships and real life that it may as well be real anyways.

                  [–]Pushnikov 20 points21 points  (4 children)

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                  Hamster, hamster, hamster.

                  1, Most hotels, even nice ones, don't have couches in their rooms. There simply isn't enough space, they're expensive and unused feature, and they promote partying and guests, which generally aren't allowed. Especially if the client has a "single" bed room then he almost definitely doesn't have a couch.

                  SOURCE : Spent a considerable amount of my life dealing with hotel business.

                  Think about it.

                  Next, the whole inability to just apologize is bullshit. She's sorry or she's not.

                  Don't be emotional with her. Treat her like a little kid. I recommend your next PHONE CALL with her go along the lines of - "Hey, so you said this guy was your client? Did you have a career shift from {whatever she normally does} to hooker that I missed?" Hang up, have a good life and stop stressing out over some bullshit and get more girls that aren't full of shit.

                  [–]curiousthis 20 points21 points  (2 children)

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                  Hotel rooms don't have couches. Hotel suites do. So if she's telling the partial truth and there was a couch in the room, odds are, that room cost over $500 a night, and the client is loaded, and she was looking to branch-swing over which did not work out.

                  This is her way of crawling back without losing face.

                  [–]frink84 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                  what kind of hotels do you people stay at? an embassy suites or home suites will have a couch in it and is usually within the 100-200 range.

                  [–]meowlolcats 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  ^ serious insight over here

                  [–]frink84 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  traveling a lot for work, I've had many rooms with single beds and couches. This is mid to low level hilton properties, so not exactly high-class rooms.

                  [–]boydeer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  "you have the right to be upset" set against "i have nothing to apologize for" is pretty hilarious.

                  I just don't apologize for things I didn't do

                  the hilarious thing about this is that if she were to do something bad "unknowingly", she wouldn't apologize for it because she won't apologize for something she didn't intend to do.

                  if you continue talking to her (which you should only do for your own education, because this is a lost cause), suggest she apologize for what she did, because her behavior is exactly what you're talking about.


                  i would hard next her or simply only call her for sex. the latter will require testicles of steel, and is probably not worth it.

                  [–]anarqy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                  I told you I was embarrassed my my actions, but that's not the same as being ashamed of who I am.

                  So does this goofy girl think that actions do not represent who you are? Shes not proud of what she did but she doesn't seem to want to confront the fact of why she did it. Cognitive dissonance.

                  [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  You're missing the part where you tell this bitch to get lost for being a lying whore.

                  You can't let a girl play you like that and get away with it.

                  WTF's wrong with you? Have some fucking pride dude. Grow a pair and viciously next this tramp.

                  [–]1pcadrian 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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                  didn't do anything I would regret other than disappoint you and make you worry. That's why I'm not apologizing for it.

                  LOL. She sounds like one of those dumb strong-headed women that are always right.

                  [–]ekjohnson9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  Respect comes from action, not words.

                  [–]MegMartinson 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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                  I've been accused of being insensitive and cold in the past, ...

                  This statement alone disqualifies her as LTR material.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  Yeah, suggests she's a cheating whore who doesn't care.

                  [–]sweetleef 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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                  Yeah, not exactly RP,

                  More like weeping teenage girl. Come on, man. She bangs some guy and your response is to start whining about how you're "sad" and you have "feelings for her", then you actually try arguing logic and "how would you feel"?

                  Absent some kind of very unusual situation, no woman sleeps alone in a man's hotel room without the intention of banging the guy. Being "drunk" is absurd, and even if true only makes her less trustworthy.

                  There is nothing to be done here - even if you get together, you'll always be a weak beta for taking her back after she banged the guy, then writing weepy emails about it. She'll never respect you. And if you're not getting back together, then your begging and pleading with her is a waste of time.

                  The only response here is "This isn't going to work. Take care."

                  [–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 34 points35 points  (3 children)

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                  I assume she was only a cab ride away from getting back to your place, and sleeping next to you in a warm, comfortable bed, rather than her client's "couch". Hotel room couches are not comfortable, as you are likely aware.

                  So yeah, the whole thing would make me shake my head. Trickle truth is ongoing.

                  More generally, you should stop communicating about stuff like this via text/email. And drop the "feewings" stuff. ("I was worried...." "it felt like a kick to the guy" "how would you feel")

                  No, don't say shit over email. Wait until she finds you in real time. Ignore her until she does, then you tell her you were fucking pissed that she blew you off. And when you found out it was to sleep in another guys' room, you were more pissed. You are still pissed. She is treating you like shit, and you don't stand for that.

                  Then do whatever the hell you want. Dump her. Soft next. Keep her around for make up sex. Forgive her. But the whole email stuff should stop now, and she needs to make a real apology if you are even going to bother speaking to her again.

                  [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

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                  Agreed. Stop the e-mailing and wait for her to talk to you in person. She'll be the first to break the silence, guaranteed.

                  [–]Pushnikov 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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                  Frankly, most hotels don't even have couches in the rooms.

                  [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (10 children)

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                  Yikes -- went a little overboard here. It's great that you still called her out. But your frame is weakened by showing emotional vulnerability, especially for a three month relationship.

                  What are you going to do now?

                  [–]parvic[S] 27 points28 points  (9 children)

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                  Yeah, you're right. Weakness. Next move now is to move on with my life. Lift some weights. Life more weights. Swim. Be happy.

                  [–]Deano101 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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                  It seems like she's trying to turn things around to make it look like you're the one being unreasonable - don't let her buddy. People are saying keep fucking her, but I don't think you're redpill enough yet to just demote her to a plate, and for that reason I think you should just next her or you may end up giving her a second chance thus sacrificing your self respect. Is it too late to say something like her acting like that only 3 months in sets a bad precedent and you don't want to get in the way of her fucking other guys? (IE act like you dont give a fuck about her, then if you see her in a few months you can fuck her with out giving a shit)

                  [–]sushisection 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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                  Hey, check out the book 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. It will help you out in power dynamic situations like this one

                  [–]VelociReactor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  [–]ekjohnson9 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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                  You led with an apology. Not a fan of that personally, you're not on the defensive.

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  You're saying too much. Giving her ammo, for her to rationalise. The best messages are short and to the point.

                  I think when you talk you can be more elaborate, but not when written.

                  [–]1pcadrian 5 points6 points  (1 child)

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                  I'm not mad at you. I was worried last night, and I was annoyed this morning. Now, I'm just sad. (...) I was developing some strong feelings for you.

                  What the fuck man... come on now.

                  [–]Deano101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  Now, I'm just sad.

                  Agreed. This looks really bad. If they know how you feel, they have power over you.

                  [–]widec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  I'm sorry

                  Already off to a bad start, you're not the one that should be apologizing. She's the one that didn't text you the whole night, she's the one that should be apologizing.Only apologize when you have truly fucked up.

                  But really, don't fret about it too much. It's obvious she's not important so chalk it up as a good learning experience. I'm sure we've all had our bad moments. You'll do better next time.

                  [–]ayjayred 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  I didn't know if you were in an accident, got a DUI, went home with some guy - whatever. That's your prerogative. But you couldn't take 30 secs to send a message that you're not coming over?

                  Everything after this was just too wordy... and somewhat beta-ish. You didn't owe her an explanation.

                  [–]einexile 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  The thing is, by her own admission she lied to you about what she was doing the entire night, and it seems like you're letting that point go unmentioned.

                  Why believe her?

                  Let's assume worst case scenario: She didn't do anything wrong, you break up with her anyway, then you find out she really didn't do it. You've still avoided spending more time with a girl who causes you stress and confusion, and... well damn, it turns out you broke up with a pretty cool girl after all, who did you no harm whatsoever.

                  Big fucking deal.

                  [–]Hormander 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  Don't ever write to her. Cut absolutely every contact. And next time, remember, it's useless to complain to a woman. It's like complaining to a child.

                  [–]OKJaded 9 points10 points  (0 children)

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                  Do you know how many times I've taken a girl back home with me or to my hotel room and not had sex with her? 0.

                  Even if nothing happened... There was an implication that she was going to come over to his house later. She goes radio silent and spends the night with some other guy? She had already made the decision by skipping plans and ignoring him.

                  [–]curiousthis 10 points11 points  (2 children)

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                  Slept on a couch in a hotel room? The only hotel rooms that have couches are the suites. The client has to be Mr moneybags, the kind that autostart gina-tingles.

                  [–]Phaint 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  Surprised no ones pointing out the likely hypergamy she saw in this client and is able to brush it off easier due to that

                  [–]smalltrout 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  I think this subreddit is the best thing that happened to me in the 15 last years

                  [–]pogiface 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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                  From her emails, she doesn't give a shit and isn't sorry. So your move, I would drop her.

                  [–]AyoFoYayo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  The fact she did what she did, and put you in this position, is not acceptable.

                  I wouldn't worry about what she did or didn't do, Id get rid of her. Move on my friend, if she thinks she can get away with it once, whats to stop her from repeating.

                  [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  Next she'll accidentally fall on a cock.

                  [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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                  Oh Jesus H Christ... You're waaaay too analytical and engaging WTF??

                  Just laugh in this bitch's face and be done with her game playing lying ass.

                  Here's the real story... She went out for happy hour with friends, met some dude, went home with him and got her brains fucked out. The end.

                  As soon as she spit out the "Fell asleep on a client's couch" bullshit my answer would have went like this:

                  HAHA HAH AHAH HAH HAHHAHH AHAH AHHH AHAHAHAHA HA...

                  (breath)

                  HAHAHA HAH AH AHHA HAH AHAH HAHA

                  You actually expect me to believe that bullshit?

                  Seriously - go fuck yourself you lying whore.

                  Not only have you just fucked some other dude, but you're insulting my intelligence now? WOW.

                  Get lost you creep!

                  [–]CornyHoosier 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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                  I'd be fucking irate if this occurred.

                  Do taxis not exist in your town? Does she not think she can call you for a pick up if she is too drunk? Does she not have a friend she could call for a pick up?

                  She definitely fucked that guy.

                  [–]MrStinky 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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                  OP, Go complete No Contact

                  [–]JRcanReid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                  What makes this a Hard Next instead of a demotion to fuck-buddy/plate is the fact that she knew you'd easily discover her infidelity. She's practically telling you she fucked him. She's throwing it in your face. For whatever reason, she cares so little about this relationship that she's reached the point where she's trying to find out how awful she can be without being fired.

                  If she cheated on you on a night where you didn't have plans to see each other (and therefore, barring other suspicious behavior, wouldn't question or notice her absence) and you subsequently found out through some digging we could discuss how you could salvage some benefit from your association with her. But sadly, in this case the only thing you can do is a complete, clean, ruthless break. No explanation. No reconciliation.

                  [–]analrapeage 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                  I don't care if they did nothing all night. Spending the night in a hotel room with a strange man--voluntarily--is completely unacceptable. In no way can that be allowed by any self-respecting man, beta or not.

                  [–]dnietz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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                  Option 1

                  • Passive aggressive hamster. Didn't actually fuck the guy. But she stayed there to the last minute and acted silly and drunk hoping eventually the guy would take her. She was the "last one to leave" until leaving got ridiculous and she just went to sleep on the couch. He probably figured out she wasn't going to leave, so he gave her a blanket and a glass of water, which she kept thinking was him hitting on her.

                  Option 2

                  • She did fuck the guy immediately and wanted to sell herself to the alpha full blown so she made a show of completely and immediately dumping her bf to stroke the guys ego and let him know he could "have her" because of his superiority to her bf. By morning, he turned on her and it was clear she was just a one nighter by his behavior, so she is going to pretend nothing happened to salvage the bf for now.

                  Full Disclosure:

                  I have had both happen to me.

                  [–]Sinistar_Lives 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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                  Sounds like some classic deny, attack, reverse to me. If you got drunk and stayed at some random woman's hotel room overnight (while ditching plans with her) she'd throw you out on your ass, yeah?

                  Even if she didn't fuck this guy, her behavior was inappropriate. Stand your ground, even if it's unpleasant. In the end, she'll respect you for it.

                  [–]DogInTheBath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  It's absolutely possible she didn't sleep with him. The main issue isn't whether she did or not but that she didn't keep you informed about where she was. As her boyfriend that should have been her main concern and she failed. Kick her to the curb, nobody needs that in their life.

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  Welcome to women dude. If you give them an inch they'll take a mile. Man the fuck up and don't let women fuck with you. Dump her, cheat on her put her in her place

                  [–]logically_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  You, and everyone here, knows what's up. She knows what's up. She knows she fucked the dude, but that you can't prove it. I would call her out by saying, "Hahahahah. Do you really think I'm dumb enough to buy that line of bullshit?" One thing is certain: when a girl doesn't text her BF because she's with some other guy for godsakes.. she's up to something she doesn't want her guy to know about. Full stop.

                  Tell her you're done with her. Or downgrade her. Tell her you don't want to be in a committed relationship with her. Tell her she can fuck whoever she pleases, because there's no chance of a LTR between you two anymore.

                  [–]VinylGuy420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  In my opinion, she had THREE options:

                  1. Sleep at a client's hotel room, (why did she go to a client's hotel at 3am? To eat?? I'm assuming your car works right?)

                  2. Sleep at the other couples place, or her friends home if those two weren't living together.

                  3. Call you to pick her up, simple as that. You were obviously up late, at least 11pm+.

                  There's no question man, something went down. Try and dig it out of her or catch her in her lie, maybe she'll admit it maybe she won't. Either way I'd kick her to the curb, you may be able to get alpha widow poontang after a bit, if you keep your frame.

                  [–]slcjosh 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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                  after reading all this, i would just simply call her and tell her you simply dont want to see her anymore. Cut contact. She might might come crawling back like a bowling ball for a fuck or two, but leave it at that. You dont need this kind of bullshit in your life.

                  [–]3rdParty2012 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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                  Dude, just stop talking to her. Or better yet, tell her you enjoy her company but find her untrustworthy, and that you would rather just be her friend, then mac on her friends. You will have her trying to prove she is girlfriend material when you are around her but not showing attraction, and her friends will compete when you give them any opportunity to.

                  [–]watersign 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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                  /next

                  [–]marco1tg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  Regardless of what happened there's no way she would be okay with you doing that. And that is some serious bullshit. You try getting to drunk and sleeping on a girl's couch. I can't decide who she would try to kill first. I feel your pain man.

                  [–]sasaraix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  fcking next her

                  [–]Grumpi83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  Dump her, at best she is an inconsiderate, manipulator. AT BEST.

                  [–]DanG3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  You are exactly correct, she's trying to flip it back on you. If she WANTED to be up front with you she would have texted you BEFORE sleeping with the client. (She did sleep with him.) Cheaters cheat. If this didn't happen now, it would have happened later. If you accept her shit, and accept her back it will be at the cost of her loss of respect of you AND your overall reputation. Hold your course, hold your frame. Next her and elevate your status. Move on.

                  [–]madagent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  She slept with him and this sort of thing has probably happened before. I would end the relationship on your terms, in your own way before she takes half of your shit and kicks you out. Don't let her end it on her terms. Beat her to it. It's going to happen anyway.

                  [–]noblepaladin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  If nothing happened, it is because the other guy decided nothing was going to happen. Maybe he saw that she was too drunk and realized he didn't want to be accused of rape. But it is almost guaranteed that she offered to let him fuck her, and chances are he did.

                  Think about it, suppose you are a successful business woman. Are you going to drink with a client until you are shitfaced and cannot even operate a cell phone? How the fuck are you going to get business done? Is this the business of prostitution?

                  It's not like one drop of alcohol makes you black out. There is a wide spectrum between sober and blacked out, and most of it you know and remember exactly what you are doing. I can guarantee you, if the 'client' is an ugly piece of shit, she won't forget to call you and drink until she is passed out in his room and forget that she can call a cab.

                  [–]monsieurhire2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  My last LTR ended prematurely precisely because she trickled truthed a lunch with an ex-boyfriend into a late dinner that ended with her driving him home to a suburb, near to her work, then allegedly driving back to the city so she could get 2 hours of sleep to drive back to work on a Sunday . . . with no phone-call to me after the dinner, and I was still sick.

                  In all fairness to her, she knew I wanted to end it soon, and she was mad because I got sick on her birthday and "ruined it."

                  Recognizing that she was at the very least, acting like a selfish bitch, I dumped her.

                  The hilarious thing was, my illness clouded my thinking on the manner, and I didn't get angry until the day after when I started adding things up.

                  [–]blackoutdaddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                  If she doesn't think she did anything wrong. Stand by for it to happen again.

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                  I don't trust women at all because of how they treat me. I'm a good looking guy and I've experienced all kinds of behaviour because of it. I've had my friends' girlfriends somehow get my number and start texting me flirty shit.

                  I don't hate them for it, though, because I'm benefiting from it. I'm just sad that all the crap I learned through feminist influenced TV and movies was a false reality. I used to think that acting sexually towards women was "wrong" and made me an "asshole", but they act sexually towards me all the time. If I don't act sexual towards them they get insecure and think they're not pretty enough for me. It's retarded.