Long story short, we were meant to meet up for happy hour. Girlfriend, her friend, and her boyfriend. I have to work late, won't be going out, say she's welcome to come over to my place whenever she's ready.
Texts me at 9pm, "we're having dinner, drinks, fun". 11 o'clock, I text her. No answer.
Start to get worried.
Next morning, at 8am, get two texts. "Sorry for disappearing. Had too much to drink and fell asleep on the couch." "I apologize :("
I call her out on it. I tell her I didn't know if she had been in an accident, got a DUI, or went home with some guy.
She sends an email: "Full disclosure, I starting drinking at 3 with a client and hadn't eaten all day." She ended "sleeping on the couch" in his hotel room.
So she went home with a guy (and nothing happened...) yet how dare I think she might be the type of woman who might go home with a guy.
She apologizes without apologizing, because she didn't do anything wrong. She's just sorry I feel hurt. But that's my issue. My insecurities. LOL.
Okay... so glad I found this subreddit. Next!
Update: Thanks for the comments. Some called me a whiny bitch, and beta, and you know what? They're right. I cringe at the way I handled this. I've been beta for as long as I can remember, and I guess it's going to take a while to change. Your insights and comments were very helpful.
The funny thing is, hypergamy doesn't seem to apply in this case. She is a business owner, 10 years younger than me. She's made a ton of money and makes a lot more than I do, even though I do alright for myself.
We met because our kids are on the same football team. She asked me out. Also had a hysterectomy, coupled with not needing a provider, made me think this was worth pursuing.
But it isn't. She disrespected me - and to my chagrin, I replied emotionally - but moreover, TRP has taught me that holding frame is so important. Not for gaming or bedding girls, but for self-respect. She's flying her and her best friend (a girl :) ) to the Superbowl this weekend. I anticipate my lack of response means she will come round and want to "talk"(rationalize it all away.) I'm going to hold frame, and do right by myself.
Oh, I got one last email, to which I didn't respond.
"I'm apologizing for how I made you feel. I had no intention of staying there whatsoever.
I made a date with you, and you bailed. You are the one I wanted to be with that night, which is why I made plans with you last weekend.
I'm done explaining.