top 200 commentsshow all 250

[–]BlatantTRPThrowaway 232 points233 points  (9 children)

I like how genuinely amused you sound. You should keep up the entertainment value by putting on some pregnant teen anal the next time she's over, and see how she reacts.

[–]MrMagwitch 46 points47 points  (0 children)

.

[–]MagicGainbow 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Like OP I find this whole thing difficult to not find amusing, it's like my little sis giving me shit about drinking/partying a few years a go...she does it all now, smokes while I have quit.

[–]paynehouse 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Babe walks in

"Aw babe look at this fuckin' pregnant bitch gettin' fucked! Cool huh?"

[–]AlwaysDankrupt 14 points15 points  (0 children)

this! don't forget to make a follow up post!

[–]DSPR 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"Lame..." she says, while thinking seen that 100 times already.

[–]busior 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hehe... make it so it seems your jerking off to that stuff

[–]lubeoil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this idea. Let us know how it all goes down.

[–]cR3dd1t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even I would love to know how she reacts to this!

[–]Glenbert 256 points257 points  (24 children)

At least she's not reading Jezebel!

[–]gmflag 82 points83 points  (14 children)

or worse....Huffington Post, Salon, Atlantic, and Feministing. I regret ever having knowledge of those Feminist propaganda sources.

[–]ibuprofiend 52 points53 points  (8 children)

Feministing

I can't help but think "fisting" every time I see that

[–]anonlymouse 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Feministing is an anagram for fisting mine.

[–]Technician90 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Wouldn't "fisting in me" be a better anagram?

[–]G_Gremlin 49 points50 points  (1 child)

why not go a bit further into the feminazi theme and roll with "mein fisting"?

[–]Matityahu_N 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You're all wrong. It's "I Fist Men".

EDIT: ... "ing" ... Bollocks!

[–]Cashews4U 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ever listen to T.R.O.Y. by Pete Rock and CL Smooth? "When they femifist over you, my gawd"

[–]1sailorJery 17 points18 points  (1 child)

why? when someone cites them you know what's going on now. Knowledge is power!

[–]MrMagwitch 15 points16 points  (1 child)

.

[–]loddfavne 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Porn has its downsides, but it's the only thing that keeps both the puritan religious and feminists away.

[–]rorrr 11 points12 points  (3 children)

[–]Newdist2 14 points15 points  (1 child)

The article doesn't say that conservatives are the ones buying online porn, just that the states which buy more porn also tend to vote more Republican. There is a difference.

A similar situation: red states have more crime than blue states... but when you break it down, you find that the crime is mostly coming from a minority that votes 95% for democrats.

[–]loddfavne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, so that's where they go. That's a little more information than I needed.

[–]rokr1292 85 points86 points  (30 children)

i was once given a hard time for perusing gonewild, while she was watching rape porn.

[–]dhump 65 points66 points  (12 children)

It's amazing how many girls are in to rape porn. Seriously.

[–]trpfieldreport 66 points67 points  (8 children)

A lot of them have rape fantasies.

Rape play is among the most common roleplay scenarios you'll hear about.

They want to be dominated.

This is why I like to pin girls down and be very controlling when I fuck. It's mildly rape-esque when you pin a girls wrists above her head when you're fucking her. And I have never had a girl respond poorly.

[–]ametalshard 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I've never had a girlfriend who didn't specifically ask me to pretend-rape them. Even in high school I had a gf who wanted me to roleplay as a complete stranger.

[–]trpfieldreport 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I guess I can understand the fantasy.

If she's asking you to perform it, she's attracted to you. If you give her the tingles, and then roleplay breaking a serious law and violating someone out of lust for her body.. thats intense.

For her maybe it's the ultimate expression of the desire to be dominated. A man she finds attractive goes to incredible risk to get her.

I think this is why feminists are constantly crying about the rape culture. They're upset that nobody wants to rape them.

[–]Ulquiorra_Schiffer 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Maybe if they weren't so fucking fat.

[–]1oldredder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wow. So far I've had not 1.

Interesting. Usually I end up with the ones that demand cock 3x a day or more, or the ones who want me to order them to do anything & everything with no limits.

I'm not sure how I'd handle the rape fantasy thing. I know my instincts and my instincts are pretty much opposite of seeking anything like rape.

[–]rickster67 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Only amazing when you don't understand them

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Upwards of 66% of women. It's not a niche fantasy at all.

Most women have some latent rape fantasy.

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 74 points75 points  (13 children)

They love the rape fantasies for the same reason they love feminism, as ironic as it sounds. Both let them play the role of victim.

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 65 points66 points  (0 children)

The idea of the rape fantasy is that she gets to be plowed by enormous cock, but then she also doesn't have to take responsibilty for the decision.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT, DADDY!

[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Perfectly said man. You can rescue the princess from the castle but you can't stop her desire to be kidnapped.

[–]OrpheusV 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Explains Princess Peach I suppose

[–]jcrpta 20 points21 points  (6 children)

Not sure it's quite that simple.

Myself, I think it's an extension of wanting a man who has the confidence to take what he wants - a hark back to caveman times where the alpha male didn't really care much if the woman he was interested in wanted it.

Incidentally, if you search around you'll find a lot of rape victims had an orgasm when they were raped and had a lot of mental issues afterwards - because society has told them it's physically impossible to have an orgasm unless you're with a man who really cares and is prepared to spend ages working on you, so how the hell did that happen?

[–]Dorrog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Myself, I think it's an extension of wanting a man who has the confidence to take what he wants - a hark back to caveman times where the alpha male didn't really care much if the woman he was interested in wanted it.

Yesterday I read something that made me doubt this. Some scientist saw that some male chimpanzees used violence to copulate with females while others didn't. So they tracked a chimpanzee population to see if the ones using violence would outcompete the ones who didn't and tried to gain female consent. Apparently the reproduction rate was similar, on average both strategies produced the same descendants despite the ones using violence copulated more.

Which points to the idea that female attraction has influence in the capacity of getting pregnant (which would also explain the existance of female orgasm and why males find it so erotic).

I still think the rape fantasy is about getting fucked by an audacious hot guy without having to assume responsibility, but the characterization of primitive humans as take all zero subtlety is probably not accurate.

[–]1User-31f64a4e 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes. And the whole "Rape Culture" bullshit is like part fantasy, part projection, part reaction to a part of themselves they're not able to look at clearly. "This is what we want, but we shouldn't, so we're going to yell at you for giving it to us, even though you don't, because then it's your fault we fantasize about this."

Starting to think that "Don't stick your dick in crazy" automatically means MGTOW.

[–]nophoney 3 points4 points  (2 children)

given a hard time for perusing

A shit test for which the proper response is "I'm a grown man and it's not the only porn I watch."

Then agree and amplify: three ways with midgets, lumberjacks and nuns.

[–]1Padre55 66 points67 points  (11 children)

Never believe what a women says, or better said, believe the 100% opposite of what she is saying "I hate that it is disgusting"

She is hip deep in participation

[–]dudeweresmyvan 16 points17 points  (1 child)

hip deep in something alright

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Watch what she does, not what she says.

[–]2 Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 23 points24 points  (2 children)

This doesn't just apply to what she claims to dislike, but also what she claims to advocate. In the past 10 or 15 years or so the vast majority of women jumped on the "gay rights" bandwagon. But in my experience women are the most homophobic and hateful toward gays when it suits their purposes. Often its when their perceived value is threatened that they start throwing accusation of "ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING!!!!???!" Hmm where did all that big bad equality go to? The fact is, women don't really have "principles" that they stand by. When they are among a liberal crowd they will put on their gay rights hat, but when push comes to shove they will use it to shame a man that doesn't pay them attention. And if a faggot were getting beaten up you can bet she will side with the crowd for her own safety instead of standing up for "what's right." What is "right" to a woman is whatever the crowd is most enthusiastically agreeing to. Never forget all the women who fawned over Hitler and heiled him, and spat on the Jews and screamed at them as they were pushed into ghettos and cattle cars. Women go along to get along.

Oh shit, we were talking about porn weren't we? Well, that escalated quickly.

[–]curious97 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Often its when their perceived value is threatened that they start throwing accusation of "ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING!!!!???!" Hmm where did all that big bad equality go to?

Wow this is so fucking true...

I remember this one kid being mocked by this female "friend" I had back in high school. Granted the kid was a wuss, but she did the whole sarcastic "it's ok, we accept you" condescending bs. I felt so bad for him because it happened to me when I was in 7th grade as well, such a terrible feeling of emasculation. Especially when both of the chicks I just mentioned were wearing rainbow flag pins on anti-homophobia day or something.

[–]cuntbh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, she might be disgusted in it as well as turned on by it. It's a possibility.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]imaRPman 30 points31 points  (1 child)

    no, she said that soft crap porn you put on is gross :-)

    [–]Strangeclouds420 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Because clearly she is only into the hardcore shit...

    [–]Hokuto199x 107 points108 points  (2 children)

    Do we have a flair for "TRP humor" yet? I think we might need one! This post had me in stitches.

    Improved my morning slightly.

    [–]Diddlydangerous 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yes yes yes that would be great

    [–]sheridork 78 points79 points  (1 child)

    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but if this is a girl you'd like to keep around, maybe don't fuck with her too bad? A lot of people are brought up to think porn is disgusting, and feel a lot of shame about liking it. It sounds like she'd be into watching it with you if you can help her get over that shame. You'd probably be able to get her to open up and get a whole lot more wild with you in bed. You can benefit from this if you don't make her feel worse about it.

    [–]vultus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This is the best response I've seen on this post. I would be really amused too, but there's obviously no reason to shame her. Tons of women would be too embarrassed to admit they were into kinky porn like that, even if you had been dating for a long time.

    [–]1IVIaskerade 74 points75 points  (1 child)

    If there's one video she watches repeatedly, whisper the title into her ear whilst she's basking in the post-coital glow.

    [–]1favours_of_the_moon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Just as she's clitoral-twitching.

    [–]Gold_Mouth 31 points32 points  (3 children)

    Lol you got a freak on your hands. Have fun, little brother.

    [–]2RedPill4LYF 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    Pro tip: Everyone is secretly freaky. ERrrybody.

    [–]_Z- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Very descriptive title on that gif.

    [–]OhYouPoorSOB 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Sounds like you may wake up one day with her banging your ass with a strap-on dildo.

    Enjoy the ride.

    [–]1oldredder 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    and don't forget the safe word!

    [–]WordsNotToLiveBy 24 points25 points  (1 child)

    Any ideas on how to fuck with her?

    Asking the wrong questions.

    Basically, if she's lied to you about not liking porn, then you may wonder if she's lying to you about not wanting to get pregnant.

    [–]binrobinro 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I think that's it right there.

    [–]lowflyingmeat 34 points35 points  (4 children)

    Playing devil's advocate - you should check if her browser on her phone (Google Chrome does this) is linked to her desktop browser. Both will sync. If she lives alone and no one else has access to her computer then yes you can jump to that conclusion.

    Edit: If shes signed into her Google account on Chrome on her desktop/phone - they will sync

    [–]1aguy01[S] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    Good point. It's the browser history of the "Browser" app, not Chrome or anything so it doesn't sync. She has Chrome right on her main screen as a deflection for all the shit in Browser.

    [–]lakingscrzy 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    Set one of the websites as her homepage in browser.

    [–]systemshock869 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Hopefully there's not someone else using the browser app that you aren't aware of...

    [–]gprime312 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    OP, definitely consider this. Browser history does sync between devices.

    [–]dudeweresmyvan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    that's hilarious... pregnant + teen + gangbang

    [–]1H42 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    You should be able to steer her into acting out some of what she views. While bringing her to climax, say: wonder what its like to fuck a really pregnant chick? She should bust her nut instantly.

    [–]itwasntme19 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    you can get a girl to do some pretty nasty stuff if you approach her right. a college girl I dated before the summer was into impregnation fantasies,liked being choked and fucked pretty rough. if you saw her you would think she wasn't about those thing,but,you never really now how dark the desires of most women are.

    [–]Modern__Day__Pricus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Its always the innocent ones that are the most freaky.

    In any event, you can bring it up but, do it in a very, very, very concealed manner.

    Don't crack a smirk or try holding in a laugh around her. Just, any time porn is brought up just bring up those titles and see her response.

    She, as most women do, due to being extremely convert in her actions will not budge at all at first. Though, if you continue on you may start to see her sweat a bit and get a quick treat out of that.

    I say quick treat because, this may not be the only fuckery she brings to the table. If she is telling you something is bad yet continues to do it herself, that right there is a red flag. The fact that she shames you for it and makes you not use porn shows that, if she gets this small victory more attempts at winning over you will happen.

    "The Black Philip Show"

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AdBB2eb2ZM

    From the (1:07:39) mark to (1:14:30) is where Patrice O'neal paints this picture even more clear than I am. This man's philosophy is one that was even before the Red pill really started to get a movement going. Patrice was a head of time.

    http://associationofchronos.com/2014/06/28/behind-the-blog-patrice-oneal/

    I know in internet time 7 minutes and some change is long but trust me man. Watch that along with his whole series on Youtube and get some very, very, very good knowledge from him.

    Point is, if she gets this one victory over you she will ask for more in the relationship if it continues. That, in the long run will make her feel like she has some power, and sooner or later the predictable "Things are just not the same" bullshit will happen and she will lose attraction. Never take break. "It never stops" to quote Patrice O'neal.

    Or, if you feel like you don't want to waste your time and decide she is not worth all of this then: You can always simply cancel the "bitch".

    http://associationofchronos.com/2014/11/15/cancel-that-bitch/

    [–]dostitties 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    "Of course that's why her clit has no sensitivity whatsoever. She plays with it like a construction worker plays with a jackhammer, while she imagines her baby getting punched in the face and the back of the head at the same time by baseball bat dicks." -- CLASSIC

    [–]randarrow 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Start shopping for fucking machines. You can make one fairly easily out of a jigsaw, bring it out of the closet when she isn't expecting and show it. Gotta have some line when she sees it in your hand like "Here's Johnny!" or "Say hello to my little friend!" And set it jigging. Another way to mess with her is to buy one of those preggo suits.

    Remember, women often have limited ability to discern between disgust and arousal, get the two crossed and they deny it. Women often describe disgust as arousal and vice-versa, and her idea of disgusting changes on whether she is aroused or not. Get her really turned on, then bring it up. DO NOT BRING IT UP/bring out toys when she is not aroused, even if she lets you do some of it when she is aroused. Part of hamstering/false rape claims is that women are not disgusted easily during sex but are often disgusted in remembering it....

    Thanks for the pre-workout laughs!

    [–]PlanB_pedofile 16 points17 points  (2 children)

    Not wife material and be on your toes. My exwife had fetishes and even found girl on girl porn which i found intriguing. (She gave me so much shit when she discovered my stash)

    Anyhow.
    Before i knew it she arranged on Craigslist to bang an ex con who looks like the guy from American Chopper. Her weird porn outlet was a cry to ride the CC. Long story short, after divorce she rode that CC for 8 years till she found a decent beta buck to cuddle with her and play father to her kids.

    As for wife #2. She likes Victoria secret and beautiful women. No porn and finds the penis to be gross. Masturbates with one of those tiny vibration things or showerhead. She's small and I'm bit of a beer can so she's apprehensive with sex. No anal except pinky in the stinky which drives her wild.

    My ex was the better fuck but disloyal. Current wife bit lame in bed but extremely loyal.

    Great sex, good looking, won't cheat. You can only pick two... :/

    [–]Pubic_Lice 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Wives are the last two, plates are the first two. I pick both...

    [–]ZergPan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Sex won't really matter when your 90 years old. Loyalty and connection are the most important things. You obviously won't marry an ugly girl unless your really desperate.

    [–]2lightfire409 18 points19 points  (3 children)

    Sounds like you just got the green light to the backdoor dude!

    [–]Mr_Andry 25 points26 points  (1 child)

    He said they do anal already right in the post.

    [–]HeinousFu_kery 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Send the playlist to yourself and look at the vids with wild abandon - when she says "Ewww...that's disgusting!!" just tell her you got it from her phone.

    (You didn't say if she had any siblings - this sounds like a classic kid brother prank to me)

    [–]get_real_quick 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    annnddddd there's coffee all over my computer screen...

    [–]rockmasterflex 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Ideas how to fuck with her? Pull up a video you know she's watched before on a computer or on your tv.

    If it has any lead-in before it becomes pornographic, she will probably incriminate herself by saying "hey don't play porno"

    [–]1oldredder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Splice in one of those anti-drug videos where the kid says "you know where I learned it from dad? I learned it from you!" :)

    [–]atheistdynasty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Put every single porn she watched or at least a bunch of the ones she watched for a long time on at random times.

    If she complains be sure to remember what she says for the lulz when you out her.

    [–]RojoEscarlata 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    For the love of Rollo, please use protection.

    [–]ColTreize 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    "No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts, but especially not women. "

    [–]hagenvontronje 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Do not trust this girl with birth control. Pregnancy plays a big role in her fantasies and she's likely to act on it.

    I don't know what to make of the shemale thing.

    [–]TekkomanKingz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    She wants to fuck him with a strap on dildo.

    [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    Women's value comes from their purity and they fucking know it. There is no denying that they collectively know it either. This is the exact reason they lie about how many partners they've had. This is exactly why they lie about watching porn. In order to increase their value in your eyes they need to lie to you about all the weird and fucked up shit they think about or do. This is called their Purity Shield

    In fact the most fucked up porn on the internet is mostly for women. The shit that you start watching and shudder and quickly change to something else is what the women get into. Machines raping them and bondage with women being beaten is aimed at turning women on and not men.

    I don't know that you want to fuck with her on this. You got a glimpse of what's behind her purity shield and have seen who she really is. You also know that she is a massive liar and that she doesn't trust you enough to be honest. If I were you I would use this information to try to get her to put her guard down and let her talk about the rest of the shit she is hiding from you. Use this to find out her real partner count and see how impure she actually is.

    [–]brrtmew 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    Where did you find the facts about women liking the most fucked porn? I am curious.

    [–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    There was a post here a bit ago on red pill that talked about it but I already knew that from my personal experience with women. Here's the link to the pornhub study

    http://www.pornhub.com/insights/what-women-want/

    Also look up the post in redpill "pornhub use stats wreck another feminist narrative" by Snivellious

    [–]1oldredder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No shit. I can imagine quite a lot of those porn stars not even demanding to be paid to use fuckingmachines - those things are insane and pretty much guarantee hours of multiple orgasms to any girl who can handle it without getting knocked out cold from the overload.

    [–]1KyfhoMyoba 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    No one has mentioned that this seems to be analogous to the post on therationalmale.com called "Saving the Best" where a wife of 7 years acts EXTREMELY prudish (no oral, mish only, lights off, once or twice a month) and the the husband finds a sex tape made in college of her with another woman taking on 5 guys in every hole with gusto, enthusiasm and pride.

    OP has encountered limitations to his access to her sexuality that are clearly only there for him, not for her. That these are merely fantasies make the point even more painful - if it's not going to be real, why not share it? Unless it IS going to be real (at some point), and OP is not to be a part of it, except as, perhaps the financially burdened sperm donor.

    [–]busior 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    One man's wife is another man's slut

    [–]1KyfhoMyoba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yep. That's the problem. Especially for the one man.

    [–]flexiblehold 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    I don't get this...you seem jealous, bitter, and hurt that your GF has sexual skeletons in her psychological closet. ("Edit: Any ideas on how to fuck with her?" Seriously, you need revenge? What is wrong with you?)

    She is perfectly normal, and the good news for you is she has some pretty kinky fantasies, so there's some potential there. And yes, AWALT. Stop choking on the pill man, embrace her dirty.

    [–]ThisIsN0tForPorn 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Gotta side with you here a little bit bud. I think there's definitely an element of bitterness in this post, whether op realizes it or not.

    Yes the overall description leads towards having a giggle, which is fine but there's really no need to view this like it's a super bad thing outside of the dishonesty, that's really the only negative.

    I lied about some sexual kinks to my current partner early on, because there's certain points in the relationship were you know it's not 'ready' to bring in some heavily depraved sexual shit. Once you're certain you can talk about, or even participate on them together, then you bring it up. Your girl has rightfully assumed that you're probably not going to be into some pregnant teenager roleplay.

    As for all the posts saying this is a red-flag, implying that she's going to be trying to go out and get pregnant and gangbanged by twelve inch poles... Use your head. I'm a male into rape roleplay and fantasy, however I would never in a million years bring that shit into the real world. Part of the reason why outside of the obvious morality, is because through some patience with a sexual open girlfriend I'm able to live all of these things out without being a monster.

    You can do the exact same thing for your girlfriend by not being a sexually repressive partner in this circumstance, rather than shaming her.

    [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    OP isn't looking for "revenge", he's looking to yank this chick's chain for some laughs.

    [–]Drivernumbersix 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Am I the only one who is shocked by the number of people who search for porn on their phone. It seems like a very good way to get "caught" looking at it.

    [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    for sure.

    If people want to protect their browser history change settings so none is stored, do it on a computer, do it with an encrypted drive. All the info on how to do it is free & so is all the software.

    Hell I can configure firefox in Linux to keep all the history, etc., yet have the profile itself load only from an encrypted drive so again, all the data is invisible.

    Not that I give a fuck about the porn. I'll watch any damn video I want and I answer to no one.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorYouDislikeMyOpinion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Any ideas on how to fuck with her?

    Think up some crazy shit that you wouldn't do and don't know what would happen if you did it, then do it.

    This is the advice that I would give if she was a plate. Then again, I'm nice if a girl is nice to me. If she's not really nice, I'll fuck around. I'm a sucker for real "good" girls. Around them, I'm harmless. Add female douchebaggery and my own goes up ten fold.

    If some girl is really in the dumps and tries to make my day better for whatever reason, I will be cool with her, act as a friend. If some slut just wants sum dik, I'll fuck her and split. I couldn't fucking care less.

    Reminds me of that video from valentines day where a man and a woman are very lonely, they both want a valentine. They are walking past each other thinking about each other. How nice it would be to be with their respective selves, and then they continue walking and pass each other. Fuck them. I don't feel bad that they are lonely. They don't do shit to get what they want.

    Nice girl has flaws and I can see that she is trying extremely hard to get better and get her life to a good place, I will offer a helping hand. Girl wants to go to the club and get fucked, well, I'll help her too, in my bed, then dispose of her. They get what they put into life.

    [–]sobes 5 points6 points  (6 children)

    This post, and all the comments supporting it are total bullshit.

    OP is with a girl for a year and admits she has always been good to him. He snoops through her phone - does he find she's been texting other dudes? Nope. Does he find anything to indicate she's playing him? Nope. Does he find ANYTHING at all to complain about? Oh, she had porn in her browser history, and now he wants to fuck with her.

    What the fuck? Why is the idea of messing with her just for looking at porn being supported? "Oh, because she said that porn was disgusting!". Who the fuck cares? I'm certain that many of you don't share your browsing habits with others, so why is it a big deal that his girl also keeps up the facade?

    Is snooping through your girl's phone, then making a scene because you find she looks at porn really an alpha thing to do?

    [–]konoplya 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    an alpha thing to do?

    no, thats a childish redditor neckbeard thing to do

    [–]Diddlydangerous 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You do realize that's like a man reading good housekeeping magazines compulsively.

    Shit I wish I could think of a way to mess with her without letting her know that you checked her history... that's tough.

    [–]MagicGainbow 1 point2 points  (57 children)

    Next or downgrade methinks, i'd never commit to someone that hypocritical.

    [–]loddfavne 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    I think that AWALT in the headline summed it up pretty well. I've never met a woman who wasn't into sex. It's only human. And, if she's a prude it's only because she's into something seriously nasty.

    [–]Pubic_Lice 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    Don't piss on her, piss in her.

    [–]Diddlydangerous 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    upvoted. this thread just keeps getting better and better

    [–]dasio12 21 points22 points  (5 children)

    that's a deal breaking level of hypocrisy to you? that's actually pretty tame compared to what I've experienced. I think AWALT, sir

    [–]wisdom_is 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Dude please share your juice experiences with womenzzz

    [–]MagicGainbow 5 points6 points  (3 children)

    It's not the level, it's the mere presence, if she can bullshit herself about that...what else?

    [–]betarex 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    She's a woman, just the routine of "getting ready" with makeup is bullshitting herself and everyone she meets. This happens AWALT.

    [–]dasio12 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I'm under the impression that everyone, male & female, tell lies and say hypocritical things or shit talk other ppl on some level or another. Obviously these bad character traits are more prevalent in the less mature (many women). Do you agree with this? you obviously draw the line somewhere. Wouldn't a child lying about looking at porn make an amused parent, chuckle, rather than to dish out a punishment? Many of us (not me yet) have come to accept women in spite of their smaller flaws. Wouldn't hypocrisy be put in this category?

    [–]1aguy01[S] 71 points72 points  (37 children)

    Yea, I'm gonna plate her. She won't let me pee on her and she won't lick my asshole. Sorry, but if you're fantasizing about being surrounded by strange dicks, while you're pregnant, and you won't even lick my asshole just once, then I know where this is going.

    [–]narcissistic_walrus 36 points37 points  (8 children)

    meh, I'd keep her around, even an LTR. The next girl will be no better and at least this one

    cooks for me, bj's whenever I want, and she suffers through anal

    AND she has shown her true colours which isn't a bad thing, just womans nature. Ya, she's got some freaky tendencies and is insecure about them but she sounds ok overall.

    I've been dating a girl who at the start had a million "rules" before we could sleep together. She constantly talks about her purity and how trampy other girls are, how she's a good girl, blah, blah, blah. I could have easily walked away or made her a plate but instead I gave her some commitment, ran intense dread game and now my sex life is like a porno movie. Plus she showed her true colours early so I am just enjoying the ride.

    [–]pachan 37 points38 points  (6 children)

    true love is when she licks your asshole man.

    [–]Mr_Andry 10 points11 points  (4 children)

    Man, it used to be when you had your cock in her ass that you truly knew you owned her. Now it's been stepped up to asshole licking, huh?

    [–]pachan 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    anal is standard now, pretty much every chick does it and its nothing special anymore. but if shes willing to lick your ass...

    also, if your LTR leaves you dont you think it would be fun to watch her kiss the next guy knowing where her tounge has been not long ago? haha

    [–]hagenvontronje 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    To propose marriage stick ring in anus for her to find while licking.

    [–]Mr_Andry 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    For me it was always plenty good knowing my dick had been in her mouth.

    [–]thrway1312 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    10/10 best metric for LTR status

    [–]refriaire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Just be vigilant. I had a LTR with a woman who behaved exactly like that, freaky in bed and innocent outside the house. In the end she cheated on me and I was the last one to find out. AWALT!

    [–]4ryan42 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Not sure if sarcastic. But if not then that is a bullshit reason. She has other kinks than you, shit and pee are disgusting for me and most people and so for her, that's why a rimjob is probably something she doesn't want to do, even if she likes getting gang banged when pregnant, these are totally different fetishes.

    [–]hagenvontronje 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Yea, I'm gonna plate her. She won't let me pee on her and she won't lick my asshole.

    Good call. If she won't lick your anus, it isn't love.

    [–]zuk1 10 points11 points  (5 children)

    you want her to lick your asshole? fuuuck that.

    [–]1sailorJery 11 points12 points  (4 children)

    Yeah different strokes for different folks obviously. I've had my asshole licked several times, I just don't feel comfortable because whenever they're down there I feel like I'm perpetually holding in a fart.

    [–]zuk1 19 points20 points  (3 children)

    i'm all for lickin a bitches ass but i dont really want them that close and personal with my sweaty hairy ass hole lol. i suppose if they really really wanted to i'd let em do it but i'm not requesting it for shit lol

    [–]Mr_Andry 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Yeah, I'd let a girl do that if she got off on it, but it doesn't do anything for me. Feels nice and all (there are tons of nerve endings there), but it doesn't heighten my orgasm or anything like that.

    [–]1sailorJery 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    and t makes kissing off limits till she brushes and rinses

    [–]ihavecandygetinmyvan 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Let me get this straight you delusional weirdo. She's fantastic in the sack and even powers through anal for you, basically sounds like she tries hard to satisfy you. Yet you think that because she has a secret kink, you're entitled to demand even more like peeing on her and having her lick your shitter?

    What does her liking weird porn in private have to do with you demanding more degradation on her part? Maybe the reason she hasn't told you about it is because of your cunt personality, which is painfully obvious from the wording of your post.

    [–]Deaddpooll 7 points8 points  (5 children)

    "Won't let me pee on her?"

    Wtf man? If she lets you do that then its a problem

    How badly do you want to degrade her? I won't do it even if the girl wants it.Nope ! Fuck that.

    [–]IMissOsama 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Different strokes for different folks.

    [–]pachan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    how else is he going to mark his territory?

    [–]Nezoula 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm going to chalk OP's comment down as sarcasm. Don't think he actually wants to urinate on her..

    [–]2Red_August 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    A girl must willingly, and enthusiastically satisfy her man's desires. Any desire short of self-harm, or harm to others. She needs to have this driving primal impulse to satisfy her man. You can draw your line in the sand wherever you wish it to be but this is her line to reach. It is always a serious issue when this isn't met.

    [–]FourLokoKills 2 points3 points  (7 children)

    Sorry, but licking asshole is disgusting and a perversion, and if that's the reason you don't want her for an ltr, then you've got issues bud. I'd never lick a chick's butthole unless it were Natalie Portman or something. I feel like I'm alone in this anti-butthole licking though, and I will likely be downvoted for stating my sentiments.

    [–]Mr_Andry 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    unless it were Natalie Portman or something

    Lol you're such a fucking hypocrite. It's a disgusting perversion... except when it's somebody I'm really attracted to.

    [–]ametalshard -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    That's not hypocritical. He's saying the action is set aside only for his 11/10, which is in the "anything goes" territory.

    You just can't comprehend basic English.

    [–]mrzappacrappa 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    Yo man that's what he's into. Isn't the whole point to find someone that shares your interests.

    [–]FourLokoKills 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Fair enough, but he's saying that he'd next her based on the hypocrisy, not the refusal to lick his chocolate starfish.

    [–]iloveyoumorethanham 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You have to next a lot of girls to find one you really like. No matter what you really like.

    [–]pachan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    but licking asshole is disgusting and a perversion

    i dont even know what to say. are you trolling?

    [–]Curiouslittledragon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I do not think she is hypocrital. She is just a normal person who is embarassed about her real desires.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]1sailorJery 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      Do you share everything with a SO about yourself? Even the stuff you are embarrassed about?

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]aRealNowhereMan_ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        "The lady doth protest too much, methinks"

        [–]hairaware -1 points0 points  (3 children)

        Good luck finding anyone. Just keep it in mind.

        [–]busior 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        That's why I advocate use of keyloggers. It's a real eye openner

        [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        And that's why I advocate Linux & a fold-up keyboard that goes in your pocket.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        To fuck with her, find one of the same exact videos she watched and leave it on your browser for her to find. Imagine that.

        [–]WarmApfelPi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Let her catch you watchin on your own gear some bitch takin a machine.

        [–]punis1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Bro she has some fetish related to pregnancy make sure she doesn't "accidentally" get pregnant and "changes her mind" about abortion after the fact.

        [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        hahahaha

        wifi connect the computer / TV to her phone and accidentally play something from her browser history.

        That's how you fuck with her.

        [–]mctoasterson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Is this self-described "sweet and innocent"?

        While willingly biting the pillow through anal and providing you on-demand oral? Methinks even a 21-year-old woman isn't capable of that level of cognitive dissonance.

        [–]1RBuddDwyer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sex God Method. That is all.

        [–]aazav 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        "shemale"? That's fucking the definition of disgusting.

        [–]Espada18 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        It's more about the power trip, dominating what once was a male, now hanging in a fine thread between both genders. At least that's the reason why I'd fuck a transexual.

        [–]zuk1 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

        you seem to be annoyed about this. is that true? dunno why you care. obv your girlfriend is a dirty bitch, this is excellent for your sex life surely?

        [–]Mr_Andry 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        No, he sounds amused. Are we reading the same post?