top 200 commentsshow all 237

[–]waylandertheslayer 37 points38 points  (6 children)

This looks really fun. With regards to 'Squirrel Chase', a few years ago I was lost in a suburban residential area, in bright fucking orange running gear. I thought I was in a dead end when I saw a woman walk out of her house down a narrow passage I'd missed, that went in the direction I was going. Now, I was 15 at the time, in bright orange running gear (I keep coming back to this because I looked ridiculous and about as threatening as a quadriplegic baby), and started jogging that way. This was in the middle of the day, sun high in the sky, and the woman stopped, put her back against the wall, and reached into her handbag to clasp something until I'd gone by - I think it was probably pepper spray. For reference, she looked about 30.

This was the first time I realised how fucked up modern society is.

By the way, if this is part 5, can someone link parts 2-4 (1 is in the main post already).

[–]ChirpChirp169 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I would totally carry a purse on my jogs with pepper spray in it so if a cunt were to back up and pull one out of hers, I would agree and amplify. An overdramatic pulling out pepper spray of my own purse, beating her to the words I would scream out; "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU RAPIST OR I'LL SPRAY YOU AND CALL THE POLICE!"

The look on her face would be priceless.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This was in the middle of the day, sun high in the sky, and the woman stopped, put her back against the wall, and reached into her handbag to clasp something until I'd gone by - I think it was probably pepper spray. For reference, she looked about 30.

Taken out of context and applied to someone else like a black male or Arabian immigrant, this would cause SJWs to have a shit fit, but because it's a white male, her prejudice is justified.

[–]Bandler_Deangelo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Depending on the level of feminism where you live, it's common in some cities for women to pull this shit at any time of day. They'll do the "I'm creeped out and must immediately dart away" shtick, no matter how innocuous the actual situation is (i.e. lining up for an ATM at lunch).

The idea they want to communicate isn't really "I feel in danger". It's more: "I better get out of here before this guy starts checking me out". Note that you don't have to actually do anything - or even truthfully notice the woman - for her to start performing this routine. It's something they do to give themselves value; creating the impression that they're selective, desirable people.

As always, the worst perpetrators are usually 6's and 7's. [It's funny to have a sex life where you don't date lower than an 8... but these ugs in the supermarket will act like the only reason you came down the canned goods aisle was to try to ask them out.]

[–]last_to_know 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Check his post history for the rest of them. Just click on his username.

[–]Misteralcala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in an open carry state. My sister and mother are both packing heat when they leave their houses. No way am I participating in a squirrel chase, or I might end up a dead puppy. Aside from that, I am an intimidating looking guy. But the rest sounds pretty good to me!

[–]The Red Pill RoomIanIronwood 43 points44 points  (11 children)

Just remembered a few others:

  • Had a real tyrant in an office once, a control freak who made no secret of her loathing for her male colleagues. Management was breathing down her neck, worried whether or not she'd complete the project, upon which her bonuses were based. She had nearly killed herself trying to prove her loyalty. A fellow Knight anonymously had a $75 Kiss My Ass bouquet sent to her boss' desk "by mistake", ostensibly to her, with a card that said "Thanks for a great interview! Can't wait to start working with you next month!", unsigned. She didn't last the week.

  • Temperature control. Most women don't understand HVAC systems the way men do, and something as simple as a screwdriver can cause blank looks. If you're savvy enough, you can manipulate the airflow into various offices and increase or decrease the temperature to suit you. This is especially effective on middle-aged women in middle-management going through menopause.

  • Leave an empty condom wrapper in the trash in the women's bathroom. Sit back and watch the hilarity that ensues. (Also works well with a discarded pair of sexy panties).

  • Find a way to spread the rumor that one of the women (but no speculation on exactly who) in the office used to be a pornstar. Do so without revealing the source or nature of the rumor. The speculation and solipsism that results is highly instructive.

  • Leave a fake pregnancy test in the women's rest room trash. Sit back and watch the hilarity ensue.

Just a few things to pass the time...

[–]PEE_ON_MY_CHEST 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Odds are you have a vision pro 8000 T-stat in your office building. Locking and unlocking the screen is pretty easy. First press and hold the system button. Then hold the 2nd and 4th button on the bottom simultaneously. Put the first number to 670. The second number will be 0 to unlock everything. Now exit out of everything and put the occupied temp down to about 65. Women can not fucking stand the temperature below about 70-72 regardless of the ambient temperature outside. Now repeat the other steps and change the 0 to 2 to lock it out. Hilarity will ensue. Source: HVAC guy

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[deleted]

    [–]bakbakgoesherthroat 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    Are female IT managers really a thing?

    [–]rockoverchicago 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    That's why after 20 years I left government IT.. just imagine a woman who can barely use a computer managing 30 IT support people ( 99% are men because any chick that joined our group would end up leaving crying because of the workload stress and dealing with angry clients)

    We got called into about 3 HR meetings where she slammed the table with her fist while saying "THIS. IS. NOT. A. LOCKER ROOM."

    All because she didn't like it when we joked around during slow times.. talking about farts and porn and even wrestling a bit.

    [–]bakbakgoesherthroat 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Glad you're out. Any tips for a person without a degree (but with knowledge and experience) making it into the field?

    [–]rockoverchicago 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's who you know. Make some good friends with IT jobs and they will recommend you.. then when your foot is in the door.. do good work and be dependable and you will do well.

    Currently I am looking into becoming an EMT ( Emergency Medical Technician )

    [–]Goupidan 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    I didn't get the bouquet story. Mind quickly explaining it again?

    [–]indivisibleremainder 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I had to reread it as well.. I think they fooled the 'hard working' one into thinking a replacement had been hired.

    [–]Goupidan 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    still not understanding lol

    [–]kymaleporid 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    They got the tyrant fired by having a bouquet 'accidentally' sent to her (the tyrant's) boss.

    The card indicated that she (the tyrant) had been secretly interviewing for other jobs, and not only had accepted one but hadn't been upfront with her current boss (who was the 'accidental' recipient of the bouquet).

    So basically they got her shitcanned by creating and catalyzing a corporate "I'm going to break up with you before you can break up with me!" type deal.

    ....and if that's a true story, well..... slow clap

    [–]Goupidan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    ah within the same company I suppose, then.

    thank you

    [–]The Red Pill RoomIanIronwood 210 points211 points  (37 children)

    I find this delightful. Keep it up. I particularly approve Biological Warfare.

    My favorite, after working in female-dominated industries for years, was the Carb Bomb. Working in a cube farm with 30-50 women and a handful of skittish dudes, one can quickly figure out who the biggest crabs in the basket are. Inevitably someone declares their stalwart intention to join WeightWatchers or work out or something to reach a particular dress size. Their cubesisters solemnly swear to keep the temptations at bay and offer their unrelenting support.

    That's when I start baking.

    I've baked for years, and I bake like a dream. When I put my mind to it, I can come up with some fiendishly delightful carbohydrate delivery devices. When I figured out who my target was, I would start leaving little anonymous "presents" in her proximity. Donuts, at first, but I quickly escalate. I've produced poundcakes, sugar cakes, cupcakes, and cheesecakes in gracious plenty, left as if by little devious carby elves, before anyone else gets to the office. I've witnessed full-on shit-fits as some one tearfully accuses their best friends in the farm of sabotage and jealous. Nothing shakes the crab basket like a box of Austrian cheese pastries, laden with butter and evil intent.

    And chocolate. If I had one piece of advice for a young man with pussy on his mind, it would be to study the art of the chocolatier. A man who can make chocolate sit up and beg can command a kind of mystic loyalty from some women one might confuse with mesmerism or blowfish powder.

    Also a fave (and you may have covered it, haven't caught up on the series yet): chart the menstrual cycles of all of the women in the office for your amusement. Match their behaviors with their ovulatory cycle. Use the information for further Black Knighting.

    May the Force be with you.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

    I salute my fellow Black Knight.

    [–]RedPillLawyer 8 points9 points  (3 children)

    Write more! You are a service to this community.

    [–]2 Mredpillschool 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    Write more! You are a service to this community.

    You can find his blog here: http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com

    You can find his AMA here: http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1698ph/the_ironwoods_as_us_anything_ian_ironwood_and_his/

    [–]Smekiz 17 points18 points  (15 children)

    This makes me wish i worked in an office so fucking bad

    [–]smokingtransistor 26 points27 points  (2 children)

    No, believe me you don't ;) but yes they can not resist chocolate or sweets etc. Sometimes at birthdays it seems like there will be fights for teh food. Maan they're all bunching up and grab as much as possible on their plates. It amuses me how they talk about how they will go to the gym, while stuffing their faces :D

    Pure bliss and joy (for me at least ;) ) !

    [–]thewalex 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    I work in a research lab, and often like to bake cookies. In fact I just made these this week, right after everyone came back from thanksgiving. What's most amusing to me is putting them in the lab's break room. If everyone is there, co-workers will only take one (or the women will want to share), but if you leave it unattended, the baked goods vanish at an astonishing rate! People are greedy when they think no one is watching!

    [–]smokingtransistor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    yes maaan!!! i have the same experiment running. I try to see the rate of chocolate disappearing from the box. And yes after breaks when no one sees, the sweets disappear faster. It is because they watch each other and talk badly if one does something that is different. (and ohhh women trash each-over behind the back like there is no tomorrow)

    Sometimes i test them; i go and take sweets several times to see who will comment badly, look angry etc. I don't need the sweets and don't care what they talk behind my back but it's interesting to see how they would do the same thing (take much more sweets) but they can't do it openly, it all has to be overtly done. (they hate that i can do anything openly) So they purposefully wait for everyone to go for the lunch break and then get the sweets :D.

    I would like to know what would happen if more men were working here. I bet sweets would survive many days. And if someone did not eat sweets no one would be bothered. Here if i say no, they automatically presume i have something against them (!). It's very strange, cuz sometimes i really don't want any sweets, and i tell them that, and they do not fucking believe me. A woman could be upset a week because you did not eat the sweets she brought. Thy always have to be the center of everything...

    [–]red_gerb 10 points11 points  (11 children)

    Trust me, only one is a hottie (HB8). The rest are tubs of lard that get paid for the trivialist of shit. While the guys work their asses off in the continuous environment of IT layoffs. Am I bitter? Nawwwwwwh.

    [–]moderatorsAREshit 2 points3 points  (7 children)

    And some "black knight" is paying for them to get fat for seemingly no reason. I don't get it.

    Anyone care to enlighten me how this helps men?

    [–]Eatsnax 4 points5 points  (6 children)

    Yeah this is passive aggressive bullshit. There are lots of good info in this subreddit but you have to watch out for stupid shit like this. If you are plotting women's menstrual cycles and baking?! Shut the fuck up! You have way too much time on your hands and not enough pussy in your bed.

    EDIT: Grammar

    [–]moderatorsAREshit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    More people should report bad content to the mods. They'll start acting on it.

    [–]OceanRacoon 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    It actually seems psychotic and a complete waste of energy and time, not to mention sadistic. Charting menstrual cycles? Wtf. People say this sub isn't about hating on women, and a lot of times it actually isn't, but that guy is obviously the sort of guy in real life who you'd know is a weirdo

    [–]Eatsnax 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    Yes this is the type of dude EVERYONE needs to stay away from not just women. Seriously. Either this dude is crazy and those who 'upvoted' are fucking sheep - or this is a massive troll attempt and those who 'upvoted' are still fucking sheep. Get some pussy you fucking shitbirds! Then you'll be happy enough to stop baking because you'll have a happy female doing it for you.

    [–]getomc 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Shitbirds and patriarchy. Negging works and you seem pretty fucking worked up about that there.

    [–]Eatsnax 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I take what works from this subreddit and I disregard what doesn't. This doesn't work for me and it's really shitty to do. Besides I don't have a miserable life or a miserable job working with annoying people where I have to go out of my way to bake to make someone else miserable. Haha.

    [–]getomc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It does work. You haven't tried it. I'm just being honest. I mean, what do you do when shit about a bitch bothers you? Just akwardly tiptoe around the truth?

    [–]Smekiz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Lol i just want to make them piggies fat :D

    [–]gmflag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    be careful of your assessment. She could be a hottie in the office, but when you put her in a nightclub or a room full of of bikini/lingerie models, the number value may change. That's one thing I had to be careful of.

    [–]FinickyFizz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I know of something like this happening at my own workplace. A girl who does nothing and sits and chats with her boyfriend in a different state all the time.

    There is this girl and another guy in that team and they have a deadline very close and she decides to go with her boyfriend to fucking Malaysia randomly.

    This poor guy is stuck doing all the work just because he is scared of getting fired from a job he desperately needs to stay afloat financially.

    Today I find out both of them get to go to a better team because my team is closing down and she of a the people doesn't deserve it at all. Fucking cunt, everyone gets pissed off because she got something for having done nothing.

    [–]ont_anon 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    ...chart the menstrual cycles of all of the women in the office for your amusement.

    A girl that used to work for the same company that I do told me that she saw a study that women who spend a lot of time together in close proximity will start to menstruate on the same cycle. She worked in a room with three other women and told me that it's true - that their cycles had all synced up.

    [–]Antagonistic_Comment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Menstrual cycles actually do not sync up, this is a common misconception. Try to find a piece of research that backs it up, you might be surprised. What actually happens is that Sarah's cycle is 28 days long, and Jane's cycle is 27.5 days long. Every month Jane will start hers earlier and earlier compared to Sarah. Eventually Jane's will start 2 days before Sarah's, then the next month 1.5 days before Sarah, then 1 day, then 0.5 days, and by gosh the cycles have synced up completely now! Except they will slowly, SLOWLY get further desynched, and people will say "it's because they stopped living/working together" when it would've happened regardless. Also don't forget all the tremendous influencing that various forms of hormonal pills can have. To attribute it ENTIRELY to "close proximity" is simply folly.

    12 hours is an exaggeration of course, the differences will be much more minute and difficult to discern.

    [–]red_gerb 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    "Also a fave (and you may have covered it, haven't caught up on the series yet): chart the menstrual cycles of all of the women in the office for your amusement. Match their behaviors with their ovulatory cycle."

    Check.

    The one thing I notice is that they eat the dark chocolate in a shameful 'no one see them' type of behavior. When the treats are missing, I know it's that time. A bit creepy, but oh so powerful. Knowledge can be Power.

    [–]RPRob1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I did this more for my safety than anything. I worked with 6 women (16-20) when I was in HS. It was my first dose of Red Pill as they were all close close friends. Thus their cycles started to align. On those days I brought chocolates and disappeared into the shadows.

    [–]trptank 8 points9 points  (5 children)

    Couple of additional things on baking and bio warfare for anyone interested in attempting this devious form of terrorism.

    Where you can replace some of the sugar in a recipe with fructose in some form, crystalline fructose is readily available should you need it.
    Fructose is about twice as sweet as sucrose so take that into account when initially introducing it, also has a different type of sweetness to it so experiment to get a feel for it.

    Fructose has various nasty biological effects when consumed in excess.
    Main ones we are interested in are raised blood trigs, adiposity and increased appetite (outside of normal insulin fuckery, but related).
    Also a bit of farting for extra shits n giggles, can passed off as too much fiber in their diet or something else 'common knowledge'.
    Gives the office girls some nice diet related things to drama about.

    Fructose uptake increases with exposure over time, so should you feel like a long term project you can start small and finish big.

    Caffeine, a little bitter but most things nicely mask it.
    Has excellent heat stability but is reduced with water evaporation during baking.
    No need to explain what this is for, don't go overboard with it as less is more in a caffeinated office environment.

    [–]caughtyouredhanded 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Wtf. Most of there comments are about how to make people fat by offering them baked goods, but you're talking about hiding ingredients in them that you've picked out for their "nasty biological effects"? That's not just passive aggressive. Remind me never to accept food from anyone I work with, jesus. What is wrong with you.

    [–]smokeybehr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Main ones we are interested in are raised blood trigs, adiposity and increased appetite

    I learned about this when going on a Keto diet, and why my metabolism is/was so fucked up. Getting off the HFCS hamster wheel was a good thing, and I've been losing a lot of weight on a Keto diet. I can fit into pants that I haven't worn for years.

    [–]Philhelm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    How villainishly delightful!

    [–]Newbosterone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Try replacing the fructose with a sugar alcohol like sorbitol. For a portion of the population, it causes "gastric distress" - diarrhea and gas, mostly.

    [–]getomc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Sugar free sugar substitutes, like aspertame which is practically poisonous, can be wrapped up neatly into a neg by presumptively choosing for her. The toxic shit it breaks down to will still make her fat like regular soda though.

    [–]smokeybehr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The girls in my office are already little piggies, so there's no need to escalate it. They eye-fuck that pink box like it was Fabio or Robert Downey, Jr.

    [–]Philhelm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Also a fave (and you may have covered it, haven't caught up on the series yet): chart the menstrual cycles of all of the women in the office for your amusement. Match their behaviors with their ovulatory cycle. Use the information for further Black Knighting.

    I used to tell women that men can tell when a woman is on her period from scent...and most of them would believe me.

    Another fun thing to do on an elevator is to look at a woman and say something like, "Uh oh...there's a 1,000 lb. weight limit."

    [–]RedPillFusion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You.....you can be my friend.

    [–]RedDeadRepentance 35 points36 points  (7 children)

    They're going to have a ball screenshotting this and passing it around as "what TRP is really all about."

    [–]sweetleef 45 points46 points  (3 children)

    They'll bitch no matter what you say.

    You could write up the most eloquent essay full of qualifications and thoughtful compliments on the endlessly fascinating qualities of the fairer sex, but so much as a whiff of TRP and you're a rapist/misogynist/patriarch/blah/blah/etc. Who gives a fuck, it's all just noise from shallow fools.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    My last post was about what gifts to give your girlfriend. I recomended a custum photo blanket, sexy underwear and saving money by buying directly from the manufacturer. It was pretty reasonable and they still flipped out.

    [–]RedDeadRepentance 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yup. Same shit; different day.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Getting BP'ers to bunch up their panties is a form of black knighting in itself.

    [–]ThePedanticCynic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I've never known for their panties not to be bunched.

    [–]LineOfCoke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    at the end of the day, fuck bitches is what TRP is in fact about. With full double entendre.

    [–]garlicextract 39 points40 points  (4 children)

    Agree and Amplify: Many of my readers have the misfortune of being forced to attend a women's studies class or sexual harassment seminar. You only have one life to live and these losers are wasting it one minute at a time. Why not enjoy yourself? Why not have fun? Be the biggest feminist there. Insist on gender neutral pronouns. Insist on made up words like herstory. Intentional take things out of context and get offended. Its a safe place and no one can call you out. Beat them at their own game. Life is beautiful.

    I think that would make me feel physically ill

    [–]Dickbag69 33 points34 points  (3 children)

    Just the thought makes me gleeful. To see them red in the face with frustration at what they themselves do to others...

    [–]Senorbubbz 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    You'd have to be a great actor to pull it off, since these people are lords of bullshit

    [–]muytemprano 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Speaking from experience, it's delightful. Spewing pseudo-logic with clear diction and confidence, watching everybody's face light up with agreement, and then enjoying the victory of my bullshit becoming the new set of "facts" for the discussion is entertaining like nothing else. Throw in contradictions and watch as nobody catches them. Spew blue-pill. It's great.

    [–]pol_wasright_again 21 points22 points  (7 children)

    Problem with #1 is not litigation, but mace and\or trigger happy CCW holder, I'll pass on that one.

    [–]redditor1618 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I fail to see how chasing a woman at night undermines the feminist narrative. If anything they will feel justified in their belief that all men are potential rapists.

    [–]captainpixystick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    trigger happy CCW holder

    This is something that actually concerns me about me about running in my neighborhood in the early morning before the sun comes up. I live in a sketchy area of town but run the same areas a couple times a week. I'm less afraid of some thugs than I am some trigger happy CCW holder getting amped off his morning coffee and fear instilling news. And I'm a gun owner and gun advocate myself. Our society is terrified of its own shadow, shit is bad out there for everyone.

    [–]Gencooil 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    "Woof woof, you stupid cunt".

    [–]BrunoOh 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I prefer black knighting Nice Guys. Particularly because I attend an applied sciences university.

    "You look like a nice boyfriend" (if he's the pathetic creepy variety).

    "I see she finally found someone large enough to satisfy her"

    Your Blue Pill example is also great in this context.

    Get all your sluts flowers for Valentines day, because it means a lot to them, don't do very well.

    What?

    [–]gentleViking 13 points14 points  (4 children)

    I think this is the perfect example of still letting women control your frame. Going to extra effort just to beat them at their own game? Why waste your time? Red pill is accepting the world the way it is and that women are the way they are. This isn't something we can attack head on gentleman. Understanding the machinery will allow us to maneuver better, set ourselves up for success despite the circumstances. Spiteful and emotional reactions to what is won't get us anywhere. Channel the emotions into analytical and productive means. Rise above. Don't let your emotions guide you.

    [–]Oakland_dude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This needs to be the top comment. This kind of frustrated miscegeny is just a form of extreme bluepillism. Why are we trying to get back at gravity because we fell over? Learn to walk upright like a man instead.

    [–]ThePillIsRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's sarcasm. Relax. We're always super serious but GLO's threads always put a smile on my face.

    [–]raceAround126 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    Why do they force the idea on women that all men are rapists? I mean if a girl told me that she was scared of me at some point, I wouldn't hesitate in nexting her psycho ass...

    [–]1xwm 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I next them if they DONT admit they're a little scared of me at some point. That is the red flag.

    [–]raceAround126 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Scared of you != I'm afraid you're going to rape me.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Because fear is the easiest way to control people.

    [–]Gabe6678 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    This thread is hilarious. I love GayLubeOil's twist on these things, and the comments are just as good. It's funny how the things we do can change so much about the people around us.

    [–]eof 10 points11 points  (6 children)

    Wtf is this shit? You write well, a lot of it is really insightful, but what's the point of going out of your way to cause someone discomfort.

    Doing exactly what you would do whether or not a woman might be scared of it is legit, honest.

    But chasing a woman who is scared, just to fuck with her, how does that help anyone.. That is some straight up sociopathic shit.

    [–]FullRegalia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's pretty dark triad, that's for sure. But hey, it's GayLubeOil, after all...

    [–]bakbakgoesherthroat 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    That is some straight up sociopathic shit

    That's exactly why GLO gets more ass than a toilet seat.

    [–]1Zackcid 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    sometimes, you just wanna go "FUCK SOCIETY" and go nuts. Constantly living and abiding by the rules, morals, and ethics can rot a person's brain in the longterm...so what's so bad about just saying "fuck that!" for one day and indulging in messing with the forbidden fruit?

    It's why we get high and drunk, after all.

    [–]eof 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    .so what's so bad about just saying "fuck that!" for one day and indulging in messing with the forbidden fruit?

    absolutely nothing..

    but that is different than inciting fear in someone for no purpose other than your own kicks; that is fucked beyond justification

    [–]Eminiel 9 points10 points  (5 children)

    I don't understand this. To me, this is something a sociopath would find amusing. Why torment others for no reason? What do you gain from it?

    [–]YourSonsAMoron 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Agreed. I really enjoy a lot of the red pill info that I read that pertains to improving yourself, manipulating your situation, and thriving in our society which is admittedly twisted... but this kind of thing falls more into the revenge/hate category. It benefits noone. It's just the male version of extreme feminists whose thought processes are twisted beyond repair.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]sway_usa 12 points13 points  (2 children)

      Accelerating the decline. I love it. You are doing God's work sir, next we just need to build an Ark to escape the flood.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      This Ark better have a squat rack.

      [–]sway_usa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It has 2. Just like everything else.

      [–]thebalrog_ofmorgoth 44 points45 points  (41 children)

      just a quick note on the squirrel chase: That is a law suit waiting to happen. I haven't passed the bar, but i don't think it would be too difficult at all to make a case for assault. Making someone fear for their safety is essentially the legal definition. So be careful with that one guys. could make for a huge pain in the ass.

      [–]My87thAccount 14 points15 points  (1 child)

      A stranger I run past on the street is going to get me in court for running past them on the street? How would that play out?

      [–]SVAndrei 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      The stranger has a pussy, and "feelz" your presence in close proximity to her for those brief seconds was "rape". No one will question her because pussy pass. /s

      [–]2 MRedPillWatchTower 63 points64 points  (13 children)

      Good fucking luck winning that lawsuit. The LAW does not protect "feelz". If I walk unarmed through Harlem as a white male, the people there can make me "feel uncomfortable". But it's not "illegal". You seem to be confusing "campus policy" with something called "the law".

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 40 points41 points  (6 children)

      Can you imagine the shitstorm that would take place if running behind someone fell under the tort of assault. It would open a floodgate of litigation. Judges usually are very careful to avoid an overly expansive definition of a tort.

      [–]rebuildingMyself 20 points21 points  (4 children)

      While I agree with you on a logical basis, it'll still be her word vs yours. Suddenly that jog towards her became threats she "might have heard" and full on sprinting towards her with "I think" a knife in your hands

      [–]nineteenseventy 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      Yeah and so what? Nothing came out of the event other than a female being scared of someone jogging. It's not like you punched her afterwards. What view would she present to a judge or jury?

      [–]Pubic_Lice 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Yeah, but now she has a case for pepper spraying/shooting you.

      [–]nineteenseventy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      If you ran run up to her or within spraying distance then you have your own stupidity to blame.

      [–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Not legally sufficient by a mile with the criminal standard of proof, very high probability insufficient for the more likely than not standard in tort.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You are a complete moron if you think you'll legally be fine chasing some woman around at night.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (5 children)

      Except the law literally defines assault as making someone afraid for their safety... so it most certainly does account for feels.

      [–]cptspiffy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      It is defined as "would a reasonable person feel threatened". A guy jogging behind you, not saying anything or interacting with you in any way, does not meet this standard.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Some random guy chasing you around at night is a pretty good reason to be scared. OP literally said "following for a while"

      [–]smokeybehr 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      CA PC 240: An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another.

      Nothing about "feelz" in there.

      [–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is the "attempted battery" style assault definition. The other definition does stem from the apprehension of harm created in the mind of the victim

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 33 points34 points  (17 children)

      Running behind someone is not assault. Assault is throwing rocks at someone and missing. There has to be intent to cause harm. Good luck with the Bar.

      [–]the99percent1 5 points6 points  (14 children)

      The only thing I'd be worried about is if she had pepper spray.. or worst, a weapon. Not worth it and she'd get away with it under preemptive threat, self defence..

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 17 points18 points  (8 children)

      Iv been pepper sprayed and tasered before its not that bad. Police tasers are bad. Hand held tasers arnt that bad.

      [–]dmgrah02 7 points8 points  (5 children)

      Why'd you get sprayed and tasered?

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 35 points36 points  (4 children)

      My friends thought its funny. Marines think that kind if stuff is funny and in a way it is.

      [–]lalicat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Ah yes. As a Corpsman I'm constantly having to deal with Marines idea of a good joke, or being part of it.

      [–]RedPillFusion 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Semper Fi brother. Learning you are a Marine does not surprise me.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Not a Marine I just have friends who are

      [–]Vioret 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Tasers=/=Stun guns. Tasers can fire prongs into you, handheld stun guns cannot.

      [–]smokeybehr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "Riding the Lightning" really sucks.

      I've had to pepper spray someone before, and caught some of the overspray. I could barely breathe for a few minutes, and my eyes watered longer than that.

      [–]goemon45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Would be an idiotic way to die though

      [–]RedPillLawyer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      What are her damages? Seriously though, no lawyer would be stupid enough to bring that suit.

      [–]2asd1100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assault

      sorry, but it still legall to be on the street.

      If you do get assaulted or suffer legal consequences you should fight back with every legal avenue at your disposal, this will be bigger than you.

      I will even contribute financially to your legal defence,(which I think a lot of other men would to) because that is indeed a horrifying precedent, which I do not doubt that a system that made stop and frisk possible would not set.

      [–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      depends on your state's definition of assault, the two primary being: 1) apprehension of imminent harm, or 2) attempted battery

      Assault comes in both civil and criminal varieties. Both of them are intentional, e.g. to be found guilty or liable you must intend to cause the apprehension of imminent harm or attempt a battery.

      Basically, on this sort of evidence "He started jogging after me!!" as long as you don't say "Yeah I was trying to scare her" and say something that isn't stupid like "I was just going for a run" turns it into a he-said-she-said. Incredibly weak.

      [–]newlifeasredpill 17 points18 points  (4 children)

      The black knight in me loves to "steal" cabs from women on rainy days. Most of them are too lazy to walk three feet away from the curb so i just run into the street and jump in before it reaches her.

      Don't forget to roll down window and wave as you pass

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Yell shit at her as the cab pulls away. My child deserves a better mother than you.

      [–]atemall 12 points13 points  (2 children)

      Reminds of when this woman tried to steal my cab

      "Ahh that's my cab" "No its not I have been waiting before you" "But blah blah...." "FUCK OFF!"

      Classic deer in the headlights look

      [–]newlifeasredpill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Elevators too. Fuck em. I leave first now

      [–]ChairBorneMGTOW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      At the workplace cafeteria, I reach for the last fatpill in the display case (cuz fnck it, I'm fit and can get away with it). A woman (maybe a 7) comes up and says all cutesy "Oh, I wanted that one!"

      Me: "How unfortunte for you." And I walk away.

      [–]beginner_ 5 points6 points  (4 children)

      While the baking sounds extremely devious it's a huge time investment in which you could do something more meaningful.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Baking is a great skill to develop its far better then video games. I bake with my girlfriend but I dont eat the unhealthy food.

      [–]smokeybehr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Coming from a long history of baking in my family (my real last name is even associated with baking, and no, it's not Baker) women light up like the Rock Center Christmas Tree when you tell them that you know how to bake, and do cookies, cakes, and sweet breads on a regular basis.

      [–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      being able to make homemade bread (and pasta) is a huge plus in my book

      [–]beginner_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      OK I see. I'm from Europe however and probably from the country with the best bread (it's not really known for that but it's true!). So I can get good bread no problem.

      My comment was more on the line if you spend hours over hours to bake to make your work colleagues fat, that just sounds extremely creepy. It's fun in theory but actual doing it is really pretty soziopathic.

      [–]AFishyFez 8 points9 points  (6 children)

      This is fucking glorious, I need more of this!

      [–]teeelo 13 points14 points  (4 children)

      Let him recharge for a few days, he will return with more soon enough.

      [–]Derjenige 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      We need to get a larger GLO battery to extend the time between recharging.

      [–]teeelo 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      So more GLO at one time, but not as often?

      [–]Derjenige 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Hmm, we'll need a spare battery too, then.

      Can't we just get an extension cord to have GLO on consistent power?

      [–]1wiseclockcounter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      the mechanisms locked back in place around his perfectly chiseled form, steam bursting from the cryogenic stabilizing arms as the cold metal rested into his unforgivingly sultry muscle-meat. Like the rump of a black stallion slathered in honey twitching away flies, his muscles rippled with an arousing unpredictability... the Paragon Alpha lowered into his resting chambers-- a symbolic burial insofar as the grief matched by his following. but cry not, ye faithful... his spry smirk assures us there is more abrewin'. morabrewindeed.

      [–]BipolarGod 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      All is fair in love and war.
      I approve this message.

      [–]ComradConnor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Guys, I love it.. but isn't this a waste of your goddamn time?

      Hear me out.. we have BETTER things to do with our time than manipulate fools.

      Build something, improve yourself, but in all reality manipulating weak minded middle aged office women will not make you Machiavelli incarnate.

      [–]Derjenige 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I love experimenting with cooking various dishes, but haven't tried my hand at baking. My office is notorious for cakes. I think we had an average of 3-4 per week when I first started due to 10/15/25 year anniversaries with the company.

      SO is doing a cookie exchange with some other girls, which means we'll end up with about 9 dozen cookies in the house. She's fucking dreaming if she thinks I'm going to eat them, so maybe I'll take a platter or two in to work with me. Save me the effort of the first items to bring in.

      [–]2asd1100 9 points10 points  (8 children)

      Its irrational and to some degree insulting.

      absolutely, rape is hard. I've got better things to do than chase and rape her ugly ass(usually the ones that aren't rape worthy are the one most scared)

      That jogging troll sounds funny, but then you'll be that weird guy that jogs at night, it's not like you'll have a record but you'll still know.

      Why not have fun? Be the biggest feminist there.

      Done that one and it's amazing, you see the degree of delusion people have when it comes to "equality". I have even been trown out of one seminar for obvious troll being obvious and then a group of dream catchers(the ones with braided hair that usually end up in ditches at festivals) came after me and bought me coffee. Seriously guys, if you put aside your anger and just have fun they are ponds of entertainment, they are stupider than Christians and have less common sense than political extremists.

      The last one is pure slow burning evil. I love it, I'll try motivating myself into doing it although it's a lot of work. Wonder what alternative is there, I hate baking.

      I usually just shorten the fuse on the relationships of white knights. I make their GFs hamster spin with fantasies of dominance and masculinity. Conversely I undermine the guys by making her doubt the security he is providing(financial is the go to). Once you introduce a dead ferret in their house they are too weak to fix it and I as a close friend of the woman just get to fuck together the pieces that bastard doesn't understand.

      Sometimes I just AA a rambling feminist until she spins to supersonic and lost all support for her cause because she brings everybody's mood down.(do this early in the nigh and you might get a bang out of it, do it late at night and you will get a drink trown at you or even assaulted)

      Great post GLO! this is the attitude red pillers should have. Not anger, , pussy begging(PUA), not bargaining(MRA) or isolationism(MGTOWs). The world is absurdly fun and beautiful and you got the blueprints to how it works. Stop crying over spilled fantasies that never existed outside of a screenplay.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Just buy the cakes. See if there is a good European bakery in town.

      [–]Limekill 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      Once you introduce a dead ferret in their house

      This poses so many questions - a) Where do you find dead ferrets? b) Or do you buy alive ferrets and then kill said ferret? AND c) Why are you getting dead animals and trying to put them in some ones house?

      Man... this is above Dark Triad shit.... This is like chick crazy shit!

      Redpill Protip: Do NOT do this to someone at your work... Your boss would actually have a -> legal obligation <- to fire your ass and not give you a good reference. I would suggest just sticking to GLOs more traditional methods which fulfils same lolz and will get you AAA+ reference.

      [–]2asd1100 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Yeah, I love hunting ferrets.

      C) to get easy break up pussy, of course, also my house if already filled with dead ferrets so I got to give some away.

      Your boss would actually have a -> legal obligation <- to fire your ass and not give you a good reference.

      For doing what? supporting a troubled colleague trough a difficult time in her life or for agreeing with a socially conscious activist and spinning her crazy?

      [–]Limekill 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      my house if already filled with dead ferrets

      Ummm.......

      For doing what? supporting a troubled colleague trough a difficult time in her life or for agreeing with a socially conscious activist and spinning her crazy?

      Ummm.......

      If my employer (Big Firm) found out that you put a dead ferret in someones house they would escort you out of the building by security and you can forget about getting a decent reference, in fact they probably would have to tell your next employer what you did... (and just in case you think I'm full of BS, there was a recent court case where a previous employer gave a good reference to a bad employee and the new employer sued the old employer - known as a Negligent misstatement).

      They also would encourage the victim to charge said person with stalking and trespass and to have an AVO put out on them. And a court would grant it. Now try getting a job with a criminal record.

      Additionally if I lived in the USA, I would actually have a fire arm at my house. And yes I would have you arrested and perhaps get some of my clients to go find out what you were doing at my house.... And imagine if they found you out on a home CCTV. I wouldn't even bother contacting your manager, I would be calling your firms legal department - do you think a manager is going to save your ass now?

      Really this is just pretty sick... and I don't know why morons upvoted the post.... :/

      [–]2asd1100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      They also would encourage the victim to charge said person with stalking and trespass and to have an AVO put out on them

      You understand I'm not actually talking about dead animals. It's a methafor for spinning her hamster into dumping the boyfriend or cheating on him.

      and I don't know why morons upvoted the post.... :/

      because they understand that the odds of my being a weirdo with a house full of dead ferrets is pretty small, and within a context of my scenario, I would literally have to be crazy to bring up literally dead animals.

      [–]pchiodo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The last one is pure slow burning evil. I love it, I'll try motivating myself into doing it although it's a lot of work. Wonder what alternative is there, I hate baking.

      Just buy them - We have a great bakery in town and they have the most wonderful lard laden gut busters in the business.

      [–]3toss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Dude...I think I love you? This stuff is priceless.

      [–]gonjinetik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Another great post. thanks lol

      [–]40_SixandTwo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      When I still had a Facebook, my really good friend's girlfriend was messaging me constantly (bitch had the neon blue short hair, lip ring, and black rim glasses. Go figure). These messages swung back and forth between her talking about how attractive I was, and how bad she wanted me to fuck her and then to nothing but blatant insults of her calling me a faggot, saying I was talentless hack, and telling me I was an ugly, weak castrate.

      I kept ignoring all these insult ridden messages, until finally I got pissed and sent her one back. "Look sweet heart, slinging insults at me over the internet isn't going to compensate for the clear and blatant lack of a father figure in your life."

      Took screenshots of all the messages of her offering me sex, blocked the bitch, and then sent all the screenshots to my buddy who was dating her at the time. It was hysterical.

      [–]Praxice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Why should I care if a woman believes I might rape her? If I know that I won't, but she believes that I might, then that is her problem and not mine.

      This is all such petty shit. It's unnecessary hate and anger.

      [–]RedPillFusion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      My god this is beautiful.

      Chase her for awhile. There's no law against jogging.

      This made me spit my food up. Please keep this shit coming brother.

      [–]Hominine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I've lurked for some time and have found a metric ton of useful information and support in this sub. Much of what is presented here is very helpful when observing how the pendulum of time has swung our society to the gynocentric bent OP has acknowledged. Recognizing the beta mentality for what it is has scales falling from my eyes practically daily; I invest in myself at an accelerated rate in substantial ways and am seeing huge dividends as a result. Suffice to say, there's a lot here for both men and women to notice.
      With that pablum out of the way it is hard to view this particular thread as anything but juvenile. Who is gaining what from these actions OP? Is the effort put forward justified in any appreciable way? This is teenage level nonsense to my mind, no one is growing here, and I see that nothing gained short of smug satisfaction.
      The behaviours and (some of) the attitude endorsed in this diatribe is entirely counter-productive and lambasts us all. It gives the perception that we are churlish boys instead of men and provides tacit cover to our detractors.

      [–]UsernameIWontRegret 3 points4 points  (6 children)

      Isn't this against what TRP stands for? Aren't we better than these petty showings? Why are we cheering on stooping down to the childish level of women?

      [–]The Red Pill RoomIanIronwood 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Black Knighting isn't for everyone. Ideally, only a man who is confident enough in his position and job security can get away with publicly using the Matrix's rules against itself. Best Black Knight I ever knew was a 50 year old African American gay librarian.

      But when your position and security is not enough to allow publicly challenging the Matrix, then the alternative is subversion: what I call Red Knighting. Subversion and sabotage, in other words, sometimes in conjunction with a Black Knight's overt action.

      Red Knighting can be fun because the Matrix is inclined to mistake clandestine action for an attack from within. Rarely do they expect ignorant men to understand the complex social subtleties of the Matrix, so they ignore us. And they usually are willing to believe our earnest denials. We're only men, after all.

      Think of Red Knights as the Fifth Column; ostensibly "team players", the perspectives of these gentlemen are far more inclined to align with the Black Knight than the Matrix. Quietly congregating and coordinating with other Red Knights, or acting alone, they can cause no end to trouble.

      Now please understand that I don't recommend these tactics for just any office. I've worked with plenty of outstanding women who were able to get the job done . . . IN SPITE of the Matrix, not because of it. Targets of Red and Black Knights should be only those who are especially heinous in their abuses.

      And to those who dispute whether or not this is a valid pursuit, consider that the Red Pill is about far more than mere notches. In supporting your brothers, even subversively and clandestinely, we add to our strength. Feminism wanted to give women the chance to compete against men in the workplace. When that is taken advantage of by employing the system as a tool of male suppression, then these more extreme measures can be used to even the professional playing field.

      [–]Bottled_Void 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I don't know if everyone is taking crazy pills. But I always thought RP was about self-improvement and not falling in line with what society expects of you.

      Not chasing lone women down the street at night, just to scare them. This is just a 3-step guide to becoming an annoying cunt.

      [–]LineOfCoke -1 points0 points  (3 children)

      seems like they do it for fun. nothing wrong with a bit of fun.

      [–]UsernameIWontRegret 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      I understand having fun is beneficial to TRP behavior but isn't it also to re-establish the foothold of men in society? How can we do that if we are becoming no better than the average woman? That's incredibly childish thinking that that would work. I thought we are better than this. I'm not saying it's wrong to have fun but a lot of the behavior listed seems to prove the feminist's point. This is the wrong tribe mentality to pursue.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      Seriously. This is the kind of shit that make us look like fucking retards. And then we make threads complaining that people don't know what TRP is really about? Some extremely naive and immature people in here.

      [–]The Red Pill RoomIanIronwood 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      This is a sophistication, and a means of fighting repression.

      [–]StarwaysCongress 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      This is funny, but I'd rather spend my time and mental energy meeting, dating, and fucking women. Sounds like a SJW mission more than anything

      [–]DFRP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wow this is sooooo alpha.

      What are you 12? Why not pull their pony tails while you at it?

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Or you can focus on your own life instead if wasting time to go outbid your way and fuck with people?

      [–]N_E_THING_4_CUM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      What's wrong with you motherfuckers.

      [–]MetacognitiveMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Squirrel Chase -- Be sure to do this wearing a clown outfit and squeaky shoes.

      [–]boscoist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Squirrel chase... turn that shit into jaws, make it ridiculous (if its late and you've likely been drinking) daaa dummm.... daaaaaa dummm.... HI!

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      This is pretty hilarious, but why center your focus and time on the miserable bitches around you in the office? Just ignore them, you're better than that. If they think they're better than you, GOOD. Let their ego eat them alive and ruin them while you keep pushing yourself to become a better person. Just my two cents.

      Either way, hilarious post. I'm going to have an extra laugh every time I see a fatty in the office pigging out now thinking that some bastard might've pulled this trick on them.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Fat office bitches will love you for making them fatter office bitches. This is a great way to become a team player that your manager wanted you to be. Perceptions are reality. Plus the real motive is so dark and sinister no one will ever know. Try and get before and after pictures as trophies.

      [–]Buchloe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Herstory. Cracked me the hell up.

      [–]football1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Sure you can fatten them up, but then you have to look at them all day, which is its own punishment.

      [–]BlatantTRPThrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Making cheese cake for the office isn't just alpha, it's dark triad alpha.

      Basically sums up the entire post for me. Well done, you GayLubeOil, you.

      [–]stevredpill 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      The top TRP post of all time is "getting ready to black knight a high school girl"

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Im an inspirational figure just like Mother Teresa

      [–]danweL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      At work whenever the girls bring in cupcakes I will place one right in front of a girl's keyboard. By the end of one particular day I had gotten one of them to eat 7 cupcakes and two others to eat 5 each (box of 30). Now that I've been on a diet they try it on me, doesn't work, then they indulge.

      [–]forbinsdecline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I hope this is tongue-in-cheek. I haven't read anything else you've written so I can't tell. If so, it's funny.

      Otherwise you really shouldn't be spending this much time just to get a response out of others.

      [–]Penguinrob 0 points1 point  (7 children)

      There is no law against jogging. Chase her for a while and then stop. Enjoy the fear you created.

      This is an incredibly bad suggestion.

      A very basic definition of the crime of assault is causing a reasonable fear or belief in a person that they are in immediate danger of personal harm.

      The crime of battery is inflicting actual bodily injury. This is very often confused or with assault and in some jurisdictions is combined with assault under a single crime (as it is in the jurisdiction in which I read law). What's important is that you can commit assault without ever harming someone, or even intending to harm someone. Intending to make them believe they are in danger is criminal.

      These definition of the crime of assault in the United States varies from State to State. In some cases assault is basically "attempted battery", as per the above definitions, in others it can be any physical conduct that is seen as offensive or provocative. It varies quite a lot across the states.

      In most other jurisdictions assault is almost always defined as creating reasonable fear of an immediate personal attack.

      If some hysterical bitch finds it terrifying to be on the same street as you at night then that's her own business. Though don't be a fucking idiot and act in a manner that would make a reasonable person think they're threatened. Chasing a lone person for no apparent reason is threatening. Even if the person was unreasonably feeling threatened before you acted, acting in a manner that any reasonable person would view as threatening opens you up to criminal proceedings.

      You may, however unlikely, live somewhere that this is entirely OK - I'm speaking to a general point of view. Know the law where you live; avoid stupid bullshit.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

      The key word is imminent if your 30 feet or so away it is not imminent.

      [–]Penguinrob 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      30 feet takes an able bodied person a couple of seconds to travel. It's as imminent as the law could ever require.

      The purpose of my post wasn't to imply any right or wrong about what you've suggested doing - I'm simply pointing out for the benefit of anyone reading the post that what you're suggesting is a textbook example of assault in the vast majority of places.

      [–]Limekill 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Its not assault.... anywhere..... At best it is battery, but hell, that is a stretch ... a very big, very long stretch.

      [–]Penguinrob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It's sound, believe me. Battery is actually inflicting harm and in this case clearly that doesn't apply. This just points out the common misconception of what the crime of assault is.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Imminent is a rock flying past your face. Lexis Nexis imminent. There is some precedent to masterbate over.

      [–]ALargeBicep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My personal favorite:

      Victimize the absolute shit out of everything in a sincere fashion.

      Make a status saying how we all oppress the road by driving on it everyday without giving it a break. Anything really. It's so funny to watch the feminists go crazy

      [–]SwirlPiece_McCoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Woof woof you stupid cunt.

      AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      I have not laughed out loud this much at a reddit comment for years.

      But seriously, well said bro. Posts like this are making me transition from lurker to contributor.

      [–]randomchaos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      bwahahaha, black knighting is the shit

      [–]RedPill_S 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Next time this happens jog after her. There is no law against jogging. Chase her for a while and then stop. Enjoy the fear you created. Woof woof you stupid cunt.

      I don't have time for stupid high school shit like that. Too busy worrying about myself to care what other people are thinking. If she is going the same direction as me, and I'm already jogging, sure, but I wouldn't go out of my way to do this just for the lulz.