all 98 comments

[–]shhQuietNow 144 points145 points  (12 children)

I have several subs and most of my interactions with them is via commands. Using 'describe' is almost universally better than 'tell me':

1 - When using 'tell me', it has to follow up with 'about / what'. Like in the first example 'Tell me exactly what you mean' vs 'describe your intent' vs 'Tell me your intent'.

2 - Women almost universally attribute emotions to descriptions and actions/things to 'tell me'. When the emotions get kicked up a notch, they invest a lot more and tend to vividly describe something as if to convince you to feel the same way about it. Whereas 'tell me' only provides the bare bones response.

"Tell me what you're wearing" vs "Describe your outfit"

One will yield me maybe 1 sentence long response. The other will lead to a paragraph long text. Also its fun using 'describe your feelings' after an emotional roller coaster, they will essentially spill everything and show you their cheatcodes.

[–]InflatableRaft 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Different tools for different jobs. Use "Describe" to elicit an open response and use "Tell me" to elicit a closed response. Both good tools though.

[–]feelinglazy 12 points13 points  (8 children)

What do you mean by subs? Are you in those BDSM crew?

[–]shhQuietNow 10 points11 points  (7 children)

I'm a dom, and I have several submissives. Not sure what you mean by BDSM crew?

[–]feelinglazy 33 points34 points  (2 children)

That's exactly what I said.

[–]OscarWhisky 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He's getting all high and mighty about his BDSM crew.

[–]MrRexels 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Mate, I've been spinning this chick that's deep into domination games and stuff, but I've never got the hang of it. Any advice for a starting dom?

[–]87GNX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say go on /r/bdsmgw, find some fat chicks who are attention whoring, PM them with "ur pics are hot do u have kik" and let your fingers do the walking, bruh.

[–]redpillexplainsit 36 points37 points  (36 children)

Sooner or later you'll get the response (shit test?) "you can't tell me what todo!" How do you respond?

[–]doveenigma13 83 points84 points  (13 children)

Yes I can because you like it.

[–]redpillexplainsit 22 points23 points  (12 children)

her: "no i don't. you cant tell me what i like"

[–]A_WolfAmongSheep 59 points60 points  (2 children)

  1. "Yea, you're right. G'night"
  2. "k" followed by radio silence
  3. Radio silence

Pick one.

[–]Endevour 43 points44 points  (0 children)

"K", followed by another "Tell me about X".

[–]1rife_omeqa 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Tell me why I can't tell you what you like.

[–]caughtyouredhanded 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Oof. That makes it sound like when a little kid keeps saying "why."

[–]doveenigma13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww that's cute. Yes I can.

[–]1Rumble_in_the_Jungle 20 points21 points  (4 children)

All shit-tests are handled either by ignoring them or by agree-and-amplify.

Ignore is obvious - just carry on.

A&A - snap your fingers 3 times in a "z" pattern and say "You don't know me, you don't know my life!"

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (3 children)

dont forget the pressure flip, I've found myself falling back on the pressure flip where I can't come up with something sufficiently witty for agree and amplify and the situation doesnt call for ignore. At the very least it can buy you time

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    check the shit tests side bar post, the comments are quite helpful too

    [–]john1443 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    "you can't tell me what todo!" - "tell me about it".

    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I got this one yesterday. My response was, "I just did". Seemed to work just fine.

    [–]RPSigmaStigma 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    "it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"

    [–]SammyFitch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    "Right, I forgot women hate being told what to do... When they have their clothes on"

    [–]KissTheBridesmaid -4 points-3 points  (4 children)

    • I just did

    • Well excuse me your majesty

    • Don't get your panties in a twist it's a simple question

    Playfully though, don't seem insulted or taken aback.

    [–]rpscrote 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    all of those would be insulted/butthurt via text -- reserve challenging responses like this to an in person setting where they can come across in a variety of ways depending on tonality and nonverbal signals

    [–]copralalic -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    They are good snark, bitches love snark. I think the 2nd one is worst for texting, but the 3rd one might be okay... except it is too long.

    Texting should be primarily for meeting up, though. Texts are too easily misinterpreted.

    [–]gg_s 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Bitches love snark when it comes out of their own mouth. You don't attract a bitch by talking like a bitch. Never use snark. Never tolerate snark.

    [–]2 Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    I like this post a lot. It reminds me of some studies and TED talks done on "choice fatigue." The more choices you have to make or questions you have to answer during the day fatigue your brain. Even something as simple as choosing what to wear is stressful to the brain, which is why Mark Zuckerberg wears the same outfit everyday. The most basic and common fights start when someone asks "so what do you want to have for dinner?" it stresses people out when they have to think of stuff.

    [–]DoctorWelch 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    This is good advice, but don't forget about delivery. I could easily ask a question that holds frame and seems like a dominant command while I could easily use this tactic and sound like a little bitch. A lot of times it is how things are said or the way you carry yourself rather than what you say or what specifically you actually do.

    [–]bayarea_m[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    True. But if that's the case you probably sound like a little bitch no matter what you're saying, and you need to start with the the basics in TRP.

    [–]1wiseclockcounter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    dunno who downvoted you, but you're right. The way you say things is determined by your resolve and that comes from a development of your innermost self.

    [–]Rhunta 10 points11 points  (14 children)

    This doesn't work in all languages.

    [–]1 Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 17 points18 points  (13 children)

    Are there languages which lack the imperative? Genuinly curious.

    [–]Rhunta 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    You can say it but it would look like you are a kid or a foreigner that just learned talking.

    [–]Wolf_A 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Subtle word cues tend to get ignored as they are not valued much due to a simplistic view of the communication or just subconsciously replaced to sound nicer.

    Finely pointed out on how this power talk holds the key to your frame.

    [–]Deaddpooll 39 points40 points  (14 children)

    This kind of shit will only work if the woman already finds you hot

    Coming off as commanding and douchey prematurely will drive her away.

    'Game' comes after looks and social status.

    [–]HahahahaWaitWhat 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    Coming off as commanding and douchey prematurely will drive her away.

    Dude... what? The difference between "What's your favorite food" and "Tell me your favorite food" is so subtle that she won't even notice the difference consciously. The only way it would come off as commanding and douchey is if you bark it at her like a military order or something, which no one is suggesting.

    'Game' comes after looks and social status.

    Bullshit. When I first learned about game, over a decade ago, I had zero social status and didn't have a single shirt that fit properly. Positive results nonetheless came immediately.

    edit: Come to think of it, I don't think I have any particularly discernible social status today, as I usually only do day game, and only solo. Also I've obviously learned to dress, improve my posture, and stay "in shape" but I still don't lift. :) Nevertheless, I've had and continue to get more pussy than I know what to do with.

    Game works. Really.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 38 points39 points  (0 children)

    Not necessarily. She needs to only not find you repulsive. You'd be surprised how well a lot of women take to commands, especially if you adjust your tone so that it's not coming across as a harsh directive.

    Commands, rather than questions, should be your go-to for communication. It sets up your dominant frame.

    [–]ProudTexan 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    It's all about the attitude my friend. I see what OP means and have used it in my interactions. True blatantly telling a new social contact to "tell me" things can sound douchey but it's all in how you say it. I usually throw in a smile and an aloof undertone while and after I give the commands.

    [–]lazypengu1n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    i'm all about telling women what to do in regards to decision making in person when my aesthetics and banter can back me up, but i feel it comes across way too crass and douchey via text, steer clear.

    [–]BluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Nope, projecting social status and ramping up your looks is part of game.

    [–]OscarWhisky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Drive her away then lol, who gives a fuck.

    [–]Mouthpiece 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If you believe game doesn't work, you will be correct. If you apply it diligently with an open mind, you'll be surprised at what you can accomplish.

    [–]getomc -1 points0 points  (2 children)

    You got it backwards. Game>money>status>looks.

    [–]Wish_I_Was_Savvy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I loled, game is not the great equalizer

    [–]caughtyouredhanded -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

    Yeah, it sounds like it'd be pretty annoying conversationally, unless she was specifically into it. The guy that commented about it working for him says he uses it with his subs, which is a relationship where that's basically expected.

    [–]gg_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Instead of speculating how she may or may not respond, go out and put it to the test.

    [–]dstylish 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I like it. So simple and makes so much sense.

    [–]SammyFitch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    As always, this really depends on your tone & body language.

    Questions can be very powerful, if you use them right you will control the conversation. It started with Socrates, but it's been expanded on numerous times, and is usually referred to as the socratic method. Questions can be asked in such a way that they are a command.

    In terms of using a more commanding vocabulary, I find it works well if you use vocabulary that will force them to be more descriptive than a simple answer. Instead of tell me ____:tell me about.. explain, describe.. whatever.

    I used those examples because your examples are conversationally.

    If you're setting up a date, getting them to come over, getting a number whatever, then commands are pretty much the only way to go.

    [–]electroavenue 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I've been doing this for the past couple months. It's fantastic. Works even better in person.

    [–]cR3dd1t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Tell me this works, and I will try it.

    And it does work. Thanks OP.

    [–]-robknows- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    ok but never actually say "Tell me exactly what you mean." because that's moist as fuck and she'll just think you're a weirdo who's horrifically out of touch. You have to use the imperative without sounding like a kid with a bowl haircut who speaks right and proper all the time, capital letters, full stops etc should be omitted occasionally so that you are more on her level.

    Not asking questions/making requests is good though. When she feels like she's getting led down the conversation by you (the leader), that's good - you're in control and you're demonstrating your alphaness (value that she subconsciously recognises).

    I have an example.

    thot: "blah blah blah" (some shit that makes no sense) me: "that didn't make any sense" thot: "whhhhaaaaaaatt yeah it did, just read it again" me: "I cba, it just didn't make sense. Just say it clearer" thot: "blah blah blah" (but clearer)

    [–]InSearchofOMG 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    This is not just for talking to women. In general, it is better to command than inquire for reasons stated by other comments.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]TRP_James 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      I find that just leaving off a question mark seems to make a difference.

      "Tell me about yourself?" (Comes off as if you want to/have time.)

      "Tell me about yourself" (Do it woman.)

      [–]paynehouse 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      "Tell me about yourself" isn't a question.

      [–]REDDITCanSuckMyCOCK 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      "Please do tell me just a little bit about yourself, alright?"

      ...

      ...

      "Please respond"

      ...

      [–]NeopolitanAfterglow -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I've already been doing this intuitively.

      [–]Ronin11A 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Clear, concise, insightful. We need more posts like this.

      [–]erniesmoove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Use statements instead of questions. Commands might find some confrontation. Statements are fun and work everytime.

      [–]willl280 -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

      I hate to say it but it just doesn't work this way. You'll come off as a pompous ass without social skills

      [–]3 Endorsed ContributorSkorchZang 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      I never thought it would work, either. But by now I've been doing what OP described for years. The reaction you had to it is logical and it's what happens with men ("you got a banana up your ass or what, cocksucker??").

      But it doesn't happen with women, they love it and keep coming back for more.

      I push it, I really try, and still. They still love it. Even shazzam variations like "why don't you tell me, sizzletits" and such.

      [–]throwawaymydrugs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It really does work man. I've gotten women to do all kinds of things, simply because I told them to. Just maintain frame. Assume the sale

      [–]bayarea_m[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Same response but with a slight edit to a previous comment I gave.

      True. But if that's the case you probably sound like a little bitch pompous ass without social skills no matter what you're saying, and you need to start with the the basics in TRP.

      [–]the_next_move 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Fuckin' eh. This is something I need to change right away.

      [–]2asd1100 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I agree this can be contextually valuable. But I like questions, they make it easy to lead people into a desired position.

      They also feel more natural than being all out demanding and imperative. But maybe this is just a cultural thing. I have noticed that Americans use more affirmations and positive speech than Europeans.

      [–]Nitrobroom -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      So that's what she always used to be doing. I thought she was just being direct.