all 61 comments

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorHumanSockPuppet 45 points46 points  (5 children)

This, is my mind, is the key role a father plays in his daughter's life. He becomes the model upon which she bases her understanding and valuation of masculinity.

In truth, women assess all men (even their own age-wise peers) for paternal characteristics. This is why adopting the persona of a father (ergo: a mentor, a guide, and a protector) is so critical to creating and sustaining attraction with women. Strong paternal behaviours indicate a high likelihood of effective and decisive masculinity when and where it matters most.

Masculinity gets shit done right.

Excellent field report, /u/tyofwa. You're a good father, and you're doing your daughter a tremendous service not only by having standards on her behalf, but also by being the embodiment of those standards.

[–]longerdistance 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is why adopting the persona of a father (ergo: a mentor, a guide, and a protector) is so critical to creating and sustaining attraction with women.

That just blew my mind. It should have been obvious but I never realized this. Thanks for pointing it out and giving me something very valuable to work towards.

[–]1AreYouAware_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You're definitely right about women judging men on their paternalistic behavior.

A recent example came when I teased my main plate, telling her to get to work on her essay, and not let me distract her. She started begging me to stick around, and I would cut her off mid-sentence to restate, more and more forcefully that she was to get to work.

Her response after being told what to do: "I can't believe this, and I don't know why, but I love it when you're just so... paternal. Just laying down the law and telling me what to do. And I kind of hate that I love it, but I just can't help it!"

That last was delivered with a smile. Must not hate it that overly much, eh?

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorHumanSockPuppet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Modern women are uncomfortable admitting how much they need us. Every other voice in western media is busy insisting how useless we men are. They want to believe it. They never want to have to rely on us ever again. Because doing so would make them vulnerable, and it would be a blatant admission of weakness.

And yet women can't help but smile when we step in, create order, and give them the opportunity to feel and behave like women. It's what they wanted all along, even if they weren't aware of it.

That's why you're better off ignoring what people say and simply acting in response to necessity. Like it or not, you can't argue with results.

[–]Adeus_Ayrton 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is why adopting the persona of a father (ergo: a mentor, a guide, and a protector) is so critical to creating and sustaining attraction with women.

I've always felt this way in my relationships with girls/women. But I've never considered myself an alpha. What's wrong with me ?

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorHumanSockPuppet 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It depends on how you're administering your mentorship and protection.

If you're just being a provider, rushing in and trying to make sure that she's always happy, then you're a pushover.

But if you're giving her stern disciplinary leadership and setting boundaries (even ones she claims not to like) all for her own good, then you're being a good father.

A bad father runs around drying tears and putting out fires. A good father providers structure.

[–]ManOfGrapes 83 points84 points  (2 children)

Fantastic insight you provided to him. It's unfortunate that he was unable to even attempt to change, but then again, blue pill conditioning is ingrained deep in this generation.

BE THE KIND OF MAN YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY.

You are clearly providing an excellent frame of reference for your daughter, as she knew to break it off after some consideration. Well done OP.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's unfortunate that he was unable to even attempt to change

For most reforged men, it's precisely failures like the one he experienced that serve as the catalyst for change. OP likely did him a favour; by having his relationship disastrously end he now has the incentives to find his way to the manosphere, and develop into a more masculine figure.

It's doubtful he would have done so prior. The BP reality is hard to abandon.

[–]brotherjustincrowe 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Amen, worth upvoting for the conclusion alone. It's good to see people think about RP principles more deeply than "lift and Tinder brah."

[–]BluepillProfessor 16 points17 points  (3 children)

A gold star explanation for why MEN are so important to the welfare of their daughters. She dodged a bullet.

How can a dude that is 'in love' ignore the advice of her father to the point of forgetting it completely?

I would have had NMMNG read, highlighted, and taken notes within 2 days and then brought it to the dad for more discussion.

[–]redpillexplainsit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For real, this guy was expecting a instant yes blessing. Instead got a "read this book first" and couldn't be bothered.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]BluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Competitors don't. The person getting sucked up to usually basks in it and if he really cared about the daughter he would have sucked up hard.

    [–]StarwaysCongress 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Well played. It's pretty funny and inspiring to see this movement affecting the next generation already.

    [–]gmflag 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Natural order of things can only be distorted for so long. People are waking up to reality.

    [–]trpMilo 22 points23 points  (3 children)

    This is all well and good, and I'm a young guy so I don't have the life experience, but if I were you I imagine I would be more concerned with the fact that my daughter was seriously considering marrying someone she had only met 2 months ago

    [–]Rebins 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Well it's written in the post, she saw him as a meal/baby ticket. I'm sure you've spent enough time on here to understand why she would want to lock down so fast.

    It's unfortunate that she's that way sure, but OP made it sound like he tried to be a good example his whole adult life.

    [–]tyofwa[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    Great question.

    I have to take responsibility for that. 2014 was a year of change for me, and my journey to be a better man made me a better father too. I have a lot of bad training to undo.

    [–]frozen_strawberry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I started (seriously) thinking about getting married to my boyfriend pretty soon after we started dating, too. I think it would be weird if I didnt because that would mean I didnt believe in this relationship. I know it's not wise to actually go through with it after just a couple of months but that's why I'm with a man who is level headed and who makes good decisions. And who is not some beta orbiter I just upgraded because I was bored.

    [–]Listen_up_buddy 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    /u/tyofwa you handled that nicely. I like the two pieces of advice you gave him, he's going to be butthurt but its going to be for his own good. That feeling being upset will make him a better man, through introspection he'll become a better man. Also glad that your daughter sees you as such an high value father. One thing that never clicked for me is that we base all our potential partners on traits that are parents have. The fact that you're displaying alpha characteristics means that she's really never going to settle for some BB. I'm now beginning to understand the real importance of fathers in a daughters life. Would love to hear and update a few weeks down the line.

    [–]dawg826 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I honestly doubt he'll change whatsoever. The lack of credence he gave OP's advice shows a lack of respect either for him or for the advice itself. He'll probably shake it off as OP ruining the marriage and that the family is just "crazy". He needs his heart ripped out undeniably by a woman and a woman alone before he changes his ways.

    [–]tallwheel 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    He probably thought you were just some old-fashioned over-protective father and ignored everything you said. It's damn near impossible to undo the kind of indoctrination that the younger generations have been subjected to.

    [–]Purecorrupt 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Reading the post has actually made me see how not having a father around would affect keeping frame. My father even explained to me how he makes the 'big decisions' and let's my mother makes the 'small day to day' ones. I just hope I can help my brother out at some point as being the first born I was treated in a figure it out yourself manner. My brother was extremely coddled which I had to fight my parents about the entire time.

    [–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I never had one, didn't bother me.

    Though I grew up on a ranch, kind of hard to be a pussy when you have to work like that.

    There was enough adults around me growing up to see what works and what doesn't. It was just about watching mistakes, and not doing that.

    With a father figure, you're building in one point of failure, and I don't htink I would have made it

    [–]AverageAsian69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    fuck yeah right on man. this is what i like to read on TRP.

    [–]NoodlesTheClown 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    God I love this story. Two thumbs up, a scotch, and a "saluti" to this great dad. Where the fuck have all the great dads gone?

    [–]1Dev_on -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    as a straight up vodka drinker, I find it odd how other than whiskey, ntohing else counts as manly.

    Russians are men too after all

    [–]rptastic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Russians are in their own vodka-swilling dashcam-equipped league:

    <---- girls --- women --- boys --- men -------------Russian --->

    [–]1greatest_mistake 7 points8 points  (4 children)

    I wish my ex wife's father would have gavin me that speech when I asked for his blessing. Would have potentially saved me years of my life and a divorce.

    [–]tyofwa[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    At that point in your life would you have listened?

    [–]1greatest_mistake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I was around thirty years old but still didn't take criticism well. The book is key though. It shows that you're not pulling stuff out of your ass. I would have read the book most definitely. Whether or not I would put it into practice, I don't know. I like to think I would have gave it a shot if it was a condition on getting the blessing.

    [–]magus678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Truth be told almost no one probably listens the first few times they hear this stuff, especially people like this Mark guy.

    But you probably planted seeds that might eventually see the light of day. You really gave him a gift. It was almost certainly too late for his relationship with your daughter; nobody assimilates it that fast. But his future could very well be much happier because of you. Well done my friend.

    [–]mykonos_rm 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I'm gonna copy and save this for 25+ years

    [–]Locastor 6 points7 points  (4 children)

    You're the guy whose wife was buying 101% junk food instead of marketing and cooking properly, yes?

    Glad to see shit's working out.

    [–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    got some history on this? Curious

    [–]Locastor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Sure: Shit test: Wife fills cupboards with crap food

    For future reference you can always find someone's threads by clicking their name, then the "Submitted" tab on their profile page

    [–]1Dev_on -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I'm not going to hunt through someones comment history, thats woman stuff

    [–]supitsLoki 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Posts like this make it worth sifting through everything else here. Excellent post, thank you.

    [–]140Watts 5 points6 points  (4 children)

    This is great and all, but am I the only one who finds the fact that your daughter calling you an alpha and you pulling up a Rational Male video cringeworthy?

    [–]tyofwa[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    Please ellaborate on why my daughter's observation that I'm more "alpha" caused you to cringe.

    As for the video, Ill provide some additional context -

    We talked from 12:30 - 2:15 am Sat night / Sunday morning when she broke down. I explained how "relationship momentum" can cause us to stay in a situation we otherwise would not. 3 months in, she may have not broken it off because he will be "crushed", he bought a ring, he may stalk her if she leaves, etc. I asked her to imagine getting to this point after kids and a mortgage.

    She didn't desire him any more and yet he pushed harder; that made no sense to her. I then wanted to explain how guys are programmed these days and Rollo's excerpt explained it in a succinct way.

    What about that caused you to cringe?

    [–]140Watts 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Just the fact that red pill concepts were spoken about so overtly. I believe it's better to be at a point where you convey these concepts through action rather than words. Hey it seemed like everything worked out though so I can't criticize!

    [–]1Dev_on 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    most of us assumed he paraphrased with 'inside' speak so we wouldn't have to read a wall of text.

    [–]Redpillc0re 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    They know your secrets. I 'm not sure that's a good thing. In fact i 'm pretty convinced you 're just feeding the manipulative parts of their brains. TRP is to be practiced, not to be discussed (outside of reddit;) )

    [–]Johnny10toes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You may have saved both of them from failure.

    [–]DawnoftheShred 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    | At one point my wife explained about how she appreciates knowing key components of our marriage are just handled and she doesn’t need to think about it.

    What are the key components?

    [–]tyofwa[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    This may be worth a separate post..

    I framed running our household like "rolling a boulder". It is hard as hell to get started but much easier when it has momentum and we both push from the same direction.

    My side of the boulder includes (but not limited to..) the following:

    • Most long-term money matters. Retirement, keeping major bills covered, bringing in the income, saving & planning for vacations, holding the line on no debt (sans primary residence).
    • Keeping the mechanical stuff in good shape. That means everything from salt in the water softener through maintenance on the vehicles. This weekend it meant pressure washing the exterior and surface sealing.
    • Follow-ups with business related matters. From something as simple as coordinating road work among our neighbors all the way through our activity in political or community events.
    • Long-term investment direction - My goal is to retire on real-estate rental investments in the next 10 years. That is primarily my roadmap and she has minimal input but full buy-in.

    In all these categories, she has the confidence that I am "pushing the boulder" and she can focus on her areas without worry.

    [–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Its sounding a bit like my place. I get to make the deicisions that matter, and she gets to make the ones that I can't be bothered to care about

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    You don't want your daughter to end up with a weak bloke. It is bad for the entire family they will start together. If I had a daughter I would hate to see her end up with somebody like that so I say well done.

    [–]Redpillc0re 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    its a bit unsettling how much wife+daughter know about alpha dynamics.

    [–]1Dev_on 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    it's subconcious... like a clean house, no one knows about it until it's not done

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]17 Endorsed ContributorHumanSockPuppet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This is what RP needs to be about and not women bashing.

      Women bashing is just a normal part of the anger phase. Anger is a natural response to the realization that you've been lied to your entire life.

      The key is not to deprive newcomers of their anger, but to help them transition out of their anger phase faster by posting examples of effective Red Pill at work.

      [–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      you mean you found this better htan a thread in 2xx???

      What a world we live in.

      [–]Venicedreaming 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      OP is correct. Even the most independent women will swoon over a man who is capable of taking care of business. In fact, they will happily relinquish their position of power once the man has proven his capability.

      [–]87GNX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Father of the mother fucking year right here.

      [–]16 Endorsed Contributorss_camaro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "Don't marry" (under any circumstances). That is TRP takeaway.

      [–]ilovemagicmush -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Hahaha, I love how you absolutely schooled Mark