all 138 comments

[–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 212 points213 points  (33 children)

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

-Socrates

This explains the rapidly increasing /r/theredpill/ membership.

[–]Swifthand 47 points48 points  (7 children)

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Socrates' wife's name (Xanthippe) has become synonymous with "a horrible wife" in the German language (though the word's usage has drastically faded in recent generations).

[–]InternetFree 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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"Olle Zippe..."

[–]refriaire 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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Could you tell me how to use that in colloquial German? TIA!

[–]Swifthand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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I've heard it from talking with 60+ yo Austrian men. I doubt any of the younger generations would understand it.

The usage is pretty straightforward though "Sie ist eine Xanthippe"

[–]mossbergman 0 points1 point  (2 children)

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how do you pronounce that in german?

[–]Swifthand 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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In what form am I to communicate that to you?

[–]bortlort 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Phonetically? Surely

[–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 22 points23 points  (15 children)

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Out of curiosity where is that socrates quote sourced from?

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

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[deleted]

    [–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    Thanks.

    [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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    So basically Antisthenes asked "Socrates... You seem like a really smart guy. Why are you married to this horrible woman?"

    And Socrates played it off saying, "Well it's training. If I can deal with her crazy bullshit, I can handle anything."

    Really any Socrates quote can be categorized as apocryphal, as he did not write anything. All his teachings were written by his students.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    That is pretty awesome.

    [–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (8 children)

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    87% of all statistics are made up on the spot. Also, important historical figures are almost always misquoted to further a standing point.

    -Alexander The Great

    [–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 12 points13 points  (2 children)

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    Hence why I inquire. ;)

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [deleted]

      [–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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      I concur

      Unsourced but often attributed is just nonsense.

      I don't respect using the name of a respectable dead man to put forth advice no matter how cogent or true it is, there's no need to misuse a name like that.

      [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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      Everything you read online is factual and accurate.

      ~Ramses IV~

      [–]gwheese 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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      'Statistic percentages' ending in 7 are more likely to be fake than any other number.

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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      I'm 77% sure you're correct... But at the same time I'm between 17% and 27% on the fence about the entire issue. Perhaps there are conclusive sources on this data?

      On a side-note, I've noticed that something like 57% of all comments on Reddit make huge general claims with zero source. SOURCE

      [–]robotman707 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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      Wow. can we not have a circlejerk over this

      [–]specter504 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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      I invented the internet. ~ Al Gore.

      [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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      I believe it comes from Plutarch's description of Xanthippe, which can be found in various publications.

      Sometimes I wonder if the quote is self deprecating humor or an ancient Greek joke had at Socrates expense.

      Either way it shows the frustration men have had at trying to be happy in relationships is at least 2600 years old.

      [–]MysterManager 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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      "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

      Some say this came from Buddha and others say it was paraphrased, it is a good quote whoever came up with it.

      [–]iota1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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      Wow. This is brilliant!

      [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      I guess you can say I'm a philosopher.

      There seems to be a lot of philosophers out there these days.

      [–]entiat_blues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      gawkers appalled at 19th century "psychology" would also explain it.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorDoxasticPoo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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      So... NAWALT tells us we're all going to be philosophers...

      [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      Actually, I think NAWALT claims that most of us will become philosophers. A few of us will get lucky and be happy.

      [–]WilliamGuns 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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      So in other words, if you want to become philosopher you go find a biatch and marry her? hehehe

      [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      That's the short cut lol

      [–]harigeorgeson 99 points100 points  (4 children)

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      The Story of Two Monks

      Two monks were making a pilgrimage to venerate the relics of a great Saint. During the course of their journey, they came to a river where they met a beautiful young woman -- an apparently worldly creature, dressed in expensive finery and with her hair done up in the latest fashion. She was afraid of the current and afraid of ruining her lovely clothing, so asked the brothers if they might carry her across the river.

      The younger and more exacting of the brothers was offended at the very idea and turned away with an attitude of disgust. The older brother didn't hesitate, and quickly picked the woman up on his shoulders, carried her across the river, and set her down on the other side. She thanked him and went on her way, and the brother waded back through the waters.

      The monks resumed their walk, the older one in perfect equanimity and enjoying the beautiful countryside, while the younger one grew more and more brooding and distracted, so much so that he could keep his silence no longer and suddenly burst out, "Brother, we are taught to avoid contact with women, and there you were, not just touching a woman, but carrying her on your shoulders!"

      The older monk looked at the younger with a loving, pitiful smile and said, "Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river; you are still carrying her."

      [–]hero707 11 points12 points  (3 children)

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      The peaceful warrior. That book taught me so much! I recommend every1 on this sub to read that book.

      [–]LinkenSphere 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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      Did he mean the young monk is carrying women on a pedestal? Can someone please explain this story for me?

      [–]merkmachine 21 points22 points  (0 children)

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      The younger is still thinking about her and letting her influence his emotions.

      [–]frazzleddd 43 points44 points  (6 children)

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      We absolutely need more of this content. As someone who was very bitter for a while after swallowing the redpill its hard to come to grips with this. Its easy to fall into the trap of "that whore" or "fuck women" once you see how everything works but we need to be better than that and realize its something we need to control.

      [–]AveofSpades 5 points6 points  (4 children)

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      [–]frazzleddd 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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      Downloading when I get home. Thank you for the recommendation.

      Any insight into the book you think is necessary for me to hear or should I just jump right in?

      [–]AveofSpades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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      Enjoy it.

      Great for inner game, keeping frame, and also for self-evolution in a positive way. Think it aligns perfectly with TRP

      [–]AveofSpades 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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      Let me know your thoughts on the book

      [–]frazzleddd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      Of course

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      Right there with you

      [–]IIHotelYorba 16 points17 points  (7 children)

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      I've been thinking about this shit for a while, guess it's time to write a post about it.

      Why I always defend the level of anger on TRP, to a point-

      At times getting super pissed is totally understandable, especially considering what men who have taken the red pill often have endured. Feminists like to talk out of both sides of their mouth, claiming that any angry rhetoric on their part is necessary venting, while TRP anger is scary and threatening. This is the core of the criticism of TRP, people trying to invalidate male anger (and therefore a large part of male advocacy) by painting it as somehow dangerous in and of itself, which is just a version of the sexist claim that men are inherently violent and dangerous. It's misandry.

      -As a formerly incredibly angry and vengeful dude, I used to put my foot in people's asses daily. Paradoxically the reason I originally started to give up anger was to get better at petty fights I'd start because I let everything make me angry. (Thinking about this today, this is really fucking funny to me.) That said, in the long run I recommend letting go of getting angry at nearly anyone. Here are some of the most functional, and TRP relevant reasons why.

      The game side-

      It's bad fucking game. Flat out. It's fucking reactive, low value shit. This is basic and has been since before the oldest of the old school. Warren Buffet does not get pissed when he loses ten dollars. A guy who has fucked hundreds of girls through cold approach does not get pissed when one of them is making "comments." When the fuck are women ever going to stop making comments? Never.

      They are going to be doing this all night long whenever you go out. Caring at all will get you crushed into a fine powder very quickly. You will have no fucking chance at having good nights. It's like being a hurdle runner and being mad that you have to jump hurdles. Not to mention that 99% of the time they genuinely aren't malicious, or even thinking about the gravity of what they say at all.

      It's true that whenever you don't react, it turns her on. But with most girls this isn't because she's thinking, "wow, I was a bitch and he didn't react." She just likes to see you be centered, the lighthouse in the storm. This is why they ask you all kinds of weird fucking questions that aren't good or bad, they like to see you be solid, immovable.

      Also in nearly any social situation bad emotions tend to repel people. Especially girls. It isn't that you can't re-route a girl's anger to get them more attracted, it's that most of the time it is beside the point. I find it much easier to keep them in that bandwidth of good emotions. It's when they're most compliant, etc.

      The you side-

      I agree with OP and many others in the thread. Basically, what are your priorities? What do you want to do with your time? You can actually choose how much time you want to devote to anyone, no matter what. Do you really want to spend more time on this random person just because they made you pissed? Conversationally, how much time do you want to spend on this one dumb topic?

      How much time and mental energy is this going to take away from shit that is actually worthwhile to you? In my personal experience, even when it comes to very brief interactions, I'd say a lot. Arguments take a lot longer than you think, especially when you factor in the time afterwards when you are stewing on that shit and thinking of things to say, etc.

      Whenever someone does something that makes you react, you're in their frame, at least partially. They're defining you, what your options are, and how you feel about yourself. Getting pissed is low value little boy shit for guys who are scarce and don't have frame control. They're upset because they have to run on that treadmill. You don't, you're above it, so y'know fucking be above it.

      And lastly, negative shit runs your fucking life down. Really. A basketball player who has a negative mindset isn't going to see the openings he needs to win. Your life will similarly seem like it contains less options and more frustrations. Do you want to prime your brain to endlessly go after old hurts, or to find new openings- ways to progress, to bang more chicks, to make more money?

      [–]z_omg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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      this is Buddha shit right here.

      [–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (5 children)

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      This is all well and good, if you can get laid.

      Imagine the following situation: "You are a relatively tall good looking dude who started working out and is fit but not necessairly jacked. This dude is lonely and feeling depressed that he doesn't have any female companionship AT ALL and so he decides to do something about it. He discovers PUA + red pill and begins studying it and applying it. A year goes by, he hasn't seen much in terms of progress, sure hes dated 10 girls or so but he was never able to get past the first date.

      School has started and he doesn't have time to go out and approach mass sets to get maybe 1 date. So he's now back to square one. He starts doing shit in school because the desire to get laid has consumed him.

      What is he to do?"

      [–]IIHotelYorba 1 point2 points  (3 children)

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      There are two main reasons people don't get results. One, not going out enough. Two, not changing up what they do so they can address their blind spots.

      If you dated 10 girls (without getting laid) it sounds like unlike a lot of guys you actually put some genuine effort into changing. But if you are burning out at the same point each time you clearly need to start experimenting, start changing your stuff up.

      This is where the positivity stuff comes in. Rather than be a grind, the more you can enjoy just trying stuff and gaming for the fun of it the faster you'll get good. You have to recognize and congratulate yourself for ALL the small bits of progress you do make. A guy focused only on results won't see any of these small things and won't know why he never gets good enough to get there.

      Also, school is great for game. You're around people all the time. In the most casual of all conversations (with men or women btw) you can practice nearly every fundamental, eye contact, making your speech more congruent, leading. Try things like leading girls around your classroom, or the hall. "Hey, cmere" it doesn't have to be far, just a few feet, to the door, to some chairs. Get used to being casually physical, not just with girls, but with everyone. Shake their hands, pat them on the shoulder. Easy shit.

      In fact, start talking to everyone. The more you put yourself out there, the more you build social circle, the more you go to parties, and parties are basically like nightclubs. (aka high energy venues)

      Keep pushing yourself, keep reading, and always appreciate the effort and progress you make, not matter how small.

      (...I mean, what's the alternative? You already know about game. The cat is out of the bag. Are you gonna swear off pussy like a monk?)

      [–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (2 children)

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      Thanks. This an excellent response.

      I have a question though, how do I force/get myself to enjoy it? I try living in the present and stuff like that, but my brain reverts to constantly comparing itself to others and thinking of the past and future. I can't stay in the present for long. What else can I do to enjoy this?

      [–]IIHotelYorba 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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      The thing is it probably isn't going to be like, boom, one day it's hard and then all of a sudden you fully love it. Some people do, they just find something that is part of pickup that they fucking love doing right off the bat.

      You may go a route like I did, and just make mental notes about any small parts that you do like. (So in many ways it's similar to building up your confidence. They call this baby stepping or small-chunking.) One of the first things I noticed was that even though I was super stressed when I went out, I loved just being around girls. Like, not even talking to them, just something as simple as looking at their faces or the way they walk. Simple. So I take that and I make a mental note of it, and I add it to my little piggy bank of positive things I experience when I go out.

      As I went on I noticed more and more things. I like the pure friendliness and good emotions of saying hi to people. Just hi, as they walked by. Later I really liked making inappropriate jokes. Later as I was becoming more positive I began to like things most guys think are bad, like the way most girls are almost comically defensive when you first meet them.

      And little by little, I pushed myself to enjoy the pure process of pushing myself. I showed myself over and over how much I was rewarded by taking action. Not always in pussy, but in self satisfaction that I was taking the actions I set out to, and of course the fact that very few guys have the balls to do the smallest part of it.

      This is what guys like Tyler recommend you do. Addict yourself to pushing your boundaries.

      Ultimately the goal is to change the way you look at going out, to where it's something you do because it's an indulgence. Why would you avoid doing something you like so much? That rewards you so well? That has become so easy? (in general) Find all the little rewards in gaming and pile them up.

      [–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      That makes a ridiculous amount of sense. Thanks! I will use this.

      [–]mc0079 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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      So I'm going to guess this is you? What do you do? Do you fold up into a bitter mess of a person that this sub can attract? Or do you go out on the weekends, try to have fun and live his life.

      Every time you you lament you didn't get laid, it time wasted.

      Control yourself.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children)

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        The attitude of not giving a fuck

        [–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

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        The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

        [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 10 points11 points  (4 children)

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        Anger can be justified, its better to release it in a beneficial rather than destructive way. I have daughters and yes little kids can piss you off, women have far greater means of getting your anger up, and it many cases anger is the correct response. In just as many its useless to get angry because really its irrelevant. The correct response is dependent upon the offence.

        Never showing anger can be seen as weakness, but a quiet anger displayed for them only to see can have terrifying results. Don't dwell on it, but there is nothing wrong with getting pissed when there is a damn good reason for it. Sorry but never getting mad is namby pamby feel good bullshit.

        [–]FascistComicBookHero 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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        beneficial rather than destructive way

        Beneficial to you; destructive to your enemies.

        The correct response is dependent upon the offence.

        Indeed.

        ... a quiet anger displayed for them only to see can have terrifying results.

        Eh, I'd have to say that true, rabid, murderous rage is far more terrifying. There's a major drawback to it, however.

        Sorry but never getting mad is namby pamby feel good bullshit.

        Exactly.

        [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        There is a time and place for rage, even one for no physical violence but tons of intimidation and the loudest drill Sargent voice you can muster, but its usually not needed with females. They just break down and cry uncontrollably when you use a DI voice with them. It is a fear of god moment for smaller males though.

        [–]enticingasthatmaybe 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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        but a quiet anger displayed for them only to see can have terrifying results

        This is good for LTR's. It has to be rare, but a good cold, calm visceral release of rage does wonders for letting her know she's crossed a hard line and it's time for her to shut the fuck up.

        [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Works well with subordinates at work too. If its a ONS there is no need to get mad, you just next them.

        [–]pro_skub 16 points17 points  (4 children)

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        That's only partially true. What's happening in your brain when you are verbally abused is similar to being physically abused. The attitude of "not giving a fuck" may be partially trainable but it's not as easy as you may think, sadly.

        [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

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        I agree with you, somewhat. When I am insulted or antagonised in any way I immediately feel defensive, but OP's point still stands as I (read: we) have the willpower to stop, think, and respond accordingly based on logical reasoning. We may feel emotion, but we are not commanded by emotion.

        We ain't no girls, yo.

        Take note of /u/johnight 's comment to further solidify my point.

        [–]ToTheLogicalExtreme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        I think it depends on who is verbally abusing you, if you trust an individual it will hurt, but if it's a stranger you can not give a fuck, I've reached to that point.

        Only trust people who deserve it.

        [–]1FloranHunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        It help to practice stoicism and try to think strategically (I've been reading 48 laws of power). Stoicism prevents and helps mask the initial flare-up of anger and strategic thought keeps you from rationalizing yourself into acting on it anyway.

        [–]mercuryg 27 points28 points  (14 children)

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        Buddha was a genius

        [–]modawg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        If Buddha said that shit to me then I'd punch him in the face.

        Only because it would be a great counterargument.

        [–]SirNemesis -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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        He was a great philosopher, and quite witty. However, like most philosophers, I wouldn't consider him on par with a scholar such as Chanakya. Chanakya was a real genius.

        [–]Tenmagnet 20 points21 points  (5 children)

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        When I was a kid, we used to say,

        "I'm rubber and you're glue. It bounces off me and sticks to you".

        Of course, the Buddha's way of describing it is much more eloquent.

        [–]perler85 2 points3 points  (4 children)

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        haha. I remember how we as a little kid said: "mirror" and put our hands right in front of the face of someone who tried to insult us. with a shape of a mirror.

        [–]stanleyfarnsworth 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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        What country was this in?

        [–]perler85 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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        germany. we said "spiegel"

        [–]ampwyo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        my students in Korea would do that too

        [–]UnpluggedMaestro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        We did "talk to the hand(, bitch)" when we were a lil older.

        [–]hamstercide 7 points8 points  (2 children)

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        This is one thing, but what about applying freeze-outs, soft nexts, or just plain nexts? Do women like seeing a flash of anger when you enforce your boundaries?

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

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        Well when you employ Amused Mastery in any relationship you focus on showing either neutral or positive emotion to whomever your target may be. I'd say no. Enforce your boundaries with stoicism, not flashes of angry temper tantrums. Temper tantrums are for toddlers and women.

        [–]ItsYourHandInMine 9 points10 points  (0 children)

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        Treat an angry woman like an angry child. Maintain frame.

        [–]sdtp 16 points17 points  (3 children)

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        Being angry at anyone is seldom useful.

        If you're in a shop, for example, trying to get the kid behind the counter to accept the return of whatever, they're going to help you less if you're angry than if you're pleasant and courteous. You get what you want, the kid does as you ask, you leave satisfied, the kid goes about their day. Now if you're angry, the kid is just going to not give a fuck. You don't get what you want, the kid doesn't give a fuck, you leave angry, the kid laughs with their colleagues about some angry douchebag pissed about his broken whatever. You now have a broken whatever and a handful of anger to deal with.

        Or if you're out in a bar and some macho gump starts giving you bullshit, they're going to lose their cool a lot quicker if you freak out too. If you remain calm and zen you're going to come across the better guy. There was a post recently about some dude in a pool bar when some idiot starting telling him to get lost because this dude was talking to one of 'the shepherds precious sheep'. The dude kept cool, and all that happened was the idiot kicking off looked like an idiot.

        Anger really is seldom useful for anything other than fueling self-improvement. That's about the only thing it's good for.

        [–]FascistComicBookHero -1 points0 points  (2 children)

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        Being angry at anyone is seldom useful.

        Absolutely not true in my experience.

        If you're in a shop, for example, trying to get the kid behind the counter to accept the return of whatever, they're going to help you less if you're angry than if you're pleasant and courteous.

        No, again speaking from actual experience, I assure you that it's completely the other way around. When dealing with some employee at a service business counter, being polite and quiet makes you very easy to ignore and nobody gives a shit. If you raise a ruckus and make a scene so that the entire establishment can hear what is transpiring, the managment suddenly becomes very attentive to your needs and does almost anything in order to shut you up so that you don't scare all the other customers away.

        [–]marpstar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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        but he IS right about the fact that if you get angry, the kid working behind the counter is going to make tons of shit out of you for getting so worked up. We used to do that shit at Best Buy constantly when people started getting angry. The people who were assertive but respectful were always the ones we went out of our way for.

        [–]1wiseclockcounter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        perhaps you're not properly evaluating your experiences...

        [–]monsieurhire2 6 points7 points  (2 children)

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        Sigh. This is certainly a noble aspiration. But what does one do when they keeping trying to make you mad as a challenge? Like, what if you woke up to the girl taking a shit right onto your face? Are you really not supposed to get mad?

        Also, the whole "lost value in her eyes" is problematic because then you are putting her on a pedestal that requires you to be perfect in order to be worthy of her. Who gives a shit what she thinks? Not being able to display emotions in front of someone is a form of oppression. I understand from experience that anger can be unhealthy, but I also understand that not expressing anger can be unhealthy. I remember how I tried to not be angry and bitter about a failed friendship. But then I gave in to the anger, and you know what? It felt good. It felt good to say nasty things about the person, and to express my hopes for their failure in life. It still feels good, I imagine, because it's forbidden. We're not supposed to get angry at people. Some call it a sin: "wrath," and others talk about self-harm. Fine. I get that. But it can also be a way of releasing feelings so toxic that they actually make you physically ill.

        Maybe a diffent tactic might be to express anger for the sake of expressing it. If the girl says, "Aw, am I making you mad? : )" You can shark smile and say "No, I'm choose to express anger because it feels good."

        Edit: I also get that publicly displaying anger makes you look weak. I think that is something to be avoided. However, if done right, it can also make people think that you truly don't give a shit about their opinions.

        [–]Azzmo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        I think the trick is to understand what anger's purpose is in the context of the situation.

        It's a useful tool for defining boundaries so if someone crossed a bold line and you care enough about them to try to show them what they did then maybe it's appropriate there.

        It's a useful tool for self motivation. This, and the prior point, are the two most appropriate and common reasons to express anger in my opinion and I'm uncomfortable that so many people in this thread seem feel differently.

        It's physical expression is a useful method of venting extreme internal duress and so, for some people in a no-win situation, it may be a great coping mechanism in lieu of bottling up a bunch of pain.

        It can even be a useful tool to attract certain types of people to you. That "Aw am I making you angry?" girl may only put out for angry men and you may be at a place in life where you're satisfied to attract a girl like that. Be angry.

        Outside of those situations I would agree with the zen outlook.

        [–]orangesedditor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        lol....problematic.

        [–]1johnnight 20 points21 points  (8 children)

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        Here's my philosophy:

        You can give yourself immediate emotional satisfaction by becoming angry or you can do what is in your best interest and draw your satisfaction from it.

        But sometimes, it is in your best interest to become angry and violent, Dr Banner.

        [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 8 points9 points  (7 children)

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        Good luck with your restraining order.

        [–]1johnnight 11 points12 points  (6 children)

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        Good luck in a fist fight for your life.

        [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 4 points5 points  (5 children)

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        LOL

        Dude, as you get older you get over the whole fist fight thing (well most of us anyways).

        If you come at me with a threat of physical harm, you're going to find yourself ridden with bullets holes. Period end of story.

        As far as women are concerned, the moment you put your hands on them or strike them, whatever they did to solicit that response disappears into the either. It doesn't matter if she fucked 10 of your co-workers, emptied your bank accounts and ran up your credit cards, the instant you assault her you become the bad guy.

        Women know this all too well, and some will intentionally try to goad you into a physical confrontation to paint you as the asshole and cover for what they did. It's a fucking Admiral Akbar bro. Don't fall for it - unless you like jail or something.

        [–]1johnnight 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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        This is exactly why my main advice is to swallow the need for instant emotional gratification which usually entails screaming slurs and violence. The way to do this is to concentrate on seeking long-term satisfaction from doing the thing that is in your best interest and feeling good while doing it.

        But as I said, a man needs to be physically and mentally prepared to dish out violence as a last resort and not as a first one.

        [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 4 points5 points  (2 children)

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        You are always the bad guy, even if you never touched her. You are guilty of being male, therefore always the aggressor, she is female and thus is always the victim.

        [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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        I experienced what you are saying first hand.

        My ex wife did try to goad me into a physical altercation by charging me and saying Hit me! Hit me! Go ahead hit me! right in my face several times in the waning days of our marriage.

        I immediately knew it was a trap and said What the fuck are you talking about? You're my wife, the mother of my children, why would I hit you?

        Even though I consistently showed self restraint in that last 6 months of our marriage (as well as the 6 years beforehand) during the bad fighting and head games, she still was able to get a restraining order on me and ultimately put me in jail for 3 weeks.

        When she was unable to bait me into a physical fight, she finally just gave up and lied and said that I did. In the end, it made little difference.

        In hindsight, at the first sign of the Admiral Akbar I should have altered course then and there. For all my nobility, trying to hold out hope to keep the nuclear family together for fear of what divorce might do to the children - in the end it happened anyway - and now I am estranged from my kids until god knows when.

        In this life, you can't stick your neck out in those situations without a reasonable expectation of it getting chopped off. The only rational choice you have is to recognize the truth and and not set yourself up for a fall.

        Having said all that, smacking a bitch up is an express ride to the hoosegow and my above statement still rings true.

        [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Same here. Both wives lied, one claimed abuse to get full custody and state funds for abused women, the second one lied to get a restraining order when her boyfriend set me up for vandalizing his vehicle.

        First was abusive to me and the kids then rewarded for it. Physically violent while never being hit, a d our local cops only cared if I touched her, not that I was usually bleeding. I learned fast, but it was too late. I thought the second one was different, but only in that she wasn't violent, she is a liar and cheated like all the others.

        [–]ShamanChemistry 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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        Lol, then why do most abused women consistently return to violent home? you clearly dont understand women

        [–]Carbuncl3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        This reminds me of a similar story explaining that anger is like holding onto a hot coal and no one to give it to, only you get burned.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        There's nothing wrong with being angry so long as you actually do something about it. Holding in anger is not good for anyone because there comes a point where the bottle can only hold in so much. If you getting angry "makes you look weak" to ONE woman, know that you weren't meant to be together anyway. Know there are other places you could go and that the man who ends up with this woman isn't worthy of any envy whatsoever.

        P.S I don't understand how there is rhetoric in TRP that every woman is replaceable yet in the same breath per say, being "devalued" in the eyes of ONE woman is the worst thing in the world. There are many other women out there...

        [–]Darth_Pete 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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        Woke up to this great piece of Alpha Zen. More please.

        [–]RedPillJohnny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        Here's another ZEN story...

        Two monks are walking down a slippery muddy dirt path after a night of rain. They come to a huge puddle with a beautiful young woman standing there, unable to cross it without getting all wet and dirty. The first monk does not make eye contact with her and simply walks through the puddle, completely ignoring her. The second monk scoops her up and carries her across the puddle. The two monks continue walking and when they are a far enough distance away from the girl the first monk, wide eyed and shocked, says, "Brother, our vow of celibacy forbids us to fraternize with females. How could you do that?".

        The second monk says, "I put the girl down after I carried her across the puddle...it seems brother that you are still carrying her."

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        This is good advice in general, especially for all the war-on-bullying types.

        No, no you can't control other people, nor should you even want to. You can control your own behavior though. Letting go of things- especially indignation and your sense of justice- can be one of the hardest damn things you can do, but unless you like the idea of jamming venom into your veins all day, you just can't do it.

        Always remember, if you have to strike first, you've already lost.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorAerobus 1 point2 points  (4 children)

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        Do not let women piss you off. Treat them like little girls.

        :)

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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        I would say deal with them on the level they choose to deal with you.

        If they speak like an adult, meet them as an adult.

        If they speak like a child, meet them as a child.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorAerobus -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

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        Agreed but start by treating them by children. If they are capable as talking back to you as an adult, then treat them as an adult.

        Don't treat them as an adult to begin with. That's just giving them power.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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        Well, I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt.

        Plus if you always assume people are like that, they'll think you're just being a condescending jerk.

        [–]Ratcliff01 4 points5 points  (4 children)

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        I appreciate you looking for wisdom, but you lost me when you said treat them like little girls. The buddha helped the man, he did not insult him by talking down to him.

        you gotta help these girls become women, and teach them happiness in loving you.

        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

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        You can't teach other people. If you want to accomplish something, you have to do it yourself. That goes for everyone.

        [–]Sabetsu 3 points4 points  (2 children)

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        If people cannot be taught, why share this story first of all to teach other men who cannot be taught supposedly?

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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        These guys are willing to learn. "Women" in general are not.

        [–]Sabetsu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        I don't know. I have met my fair share of fucked up in both sexes.

        [–]adsnell2004 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        Great post OP. I love this sub because I get a daily reflection to set my day right. This works for any situation really. For all the hate TRP gets there are certainly great thought provoking posts here.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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        [deleted]

          [–]FascistComicBookHero 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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          More true wisdom. The downvotes are quite disturbing to see; you fail me, TRP.

          You can't act out inappropriately and you mustn't dwell on it.

          Well put. Anger is something to be wielded like any other weapon or tool.

          [–]HitlersCow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          you may eventually train your mind to take things much more lightly

          Except we recommend taking them so lightly that you're simply apathetic to their emotional shit test. Don't let anyone, especially women, change your frame of reference - you know what's right and what's wrong.

          No use wrestling with a pig sort of thing.

          [–]SirNemesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Here's the actual story: http://buddhasutra.com/files/akkosa_sutra.htm

          However, I can't find it at my goto source for buddhist texts, http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud, so I'm not sure whether the original source is reliable or not. Certain buddhist texts (such as the Jatakas) are older and hence more likely to be authentic than others.

          [–]elevul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          He kinda forgot to consider an angry man bashing his head with a crowbar, though. I'd be pretty unhappy if I was beaten to death (or stabbed/shot to death, a method women use).

          [–]ilike2partyhowaboutu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Maintain frame.

          Even if you catch a girlfriend fucking three members of a terrible metal band.. you lock that emotion up tight and put it in a bottle. Put that bottle away for now.

          Say something like "Oh.. shit.. sorry guys.. lemme know when ya finish up so I can start packing up her things in here.. take yer time.. I'll be in the living room packing. :)"

          Then after she's out and the coast is clear.. call up the buddies and vent out that poison and move on.

          [–]LinkenSphere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Saw this on /r/DotA2 several days ago :)

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Yes! I used to read up a lot on Buddhism when I was really active with PUA stuff and it helped a ton. It turned very zen to me as if I just expected I was going to meet a babe this evening. It worked very well. Great post!

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Wow. Just wow. I love it.

          [–]real-boethius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Really the Buddhist way is to fully experience the anger, but then to move on from that.

          This phase of fully experiencing the anger is important: many neophytes try to bypass it, and the result is avoidance of feelings. When you try to avoid feelings, they will resurface, in uncontrolled ways.

          One way to move on is to ask "What is the positive intention of that anger?". The positive intention of the anger at women is a) to avoid being deceived again, and b) To face up to the truth about the world, whatever it is.

          In this way you use the energy from the anger in a proactive way. And Buddhists are certainly all for using your energy in constructive ways.

          [–]Mengs87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Equanimity (Latin: æquanimitas having an even mind; aequus even animus mind/soul) is a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind. The virtue and value of equanimity is extolled and advocated by a number of major religions and ancient philosophies.

          In Buddhism, equanimity (upekkhā, upekṣhā) is one of the four immeasurables and is considered:

          Neither a thought nor an emotion, it is rather the steady conscious realization of reality's transience. It is the ground for wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love. While some may think of equanimity as dry neutrality or cool aloofness, mature equanimity produces a radiance and warmth of being. The Buddha described a mind filled with equanimity as "abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill-will."

          [–][deleted]  (4 children)

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          [deleted]

            [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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            [deleted]

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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                [–]CapAnson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                And buy them gifts?

                [–]JamesRussells -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                Who ever said TRP was about being angry at women? Cool strawman bro.

                [–]Future_Alpha -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                Easy to say when you get consistently laid......

                [–]ghostwolfuk -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                Treat them like little girls

                Almost spat my rice all over my laptop laughing. Sagest advice I have seen all day. Real talk.

                [–]BIG_Daddy_Government -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

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                i saw this 3 days ago here dota2link

                guess this is the next thing for copypasta over the internet.