all 83 comments

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        [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr 66 points67 points  (1 child)

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        One of the best posts I've read here in a long time. I think a lot of people are using the term solipsism interchangeably with hamster on this subreddit, and that's not accurate. They are different. Like you said, female solipsism is the idea that what exists in her mind is applicable to the world simply because it exists in her head. Truth is whatever is in her mind - and whatever is in her mind is a direct function of what society, her emotions, her tingles, her friends, etc shove into her head.

        It doesn't mean women are bad. It just means their advice is aimed internally. When they tell you how to make a woman happy, they are telling you how they want to think of themselves. They will tell you to make a woman happy by doing sweet things and giving her the power in a relationship, because they want to be able to think of themselves as the type of woman who deserves those things. So when women tell you things, they do reveal deep insights. They are, however, incapable of revealing insights about anyone but themselves.

        I enjoy hearing what women have to say. It's amusing, and not even in a mean way. I think it's cool how they can exist only in the moment, as if the past and future don't exist. It's amazing that they can make their minds believe things with no hard proof. It's amazing that they can gobble up and devour cold reading, tarot, supernatural bullshit, romance lit, and consumerist culture, but they choke and vomit if you try to get them to digest an idea like honor, true loyalty, objectivity, logic, or truth.

        Basically when women speak, learn to enjoy it like listening to a nice song. There is beauty there, there is plenty to wonder at. Get caught up in that, fully just enjoy her feminine ideas. Just don't treat them like actual logical ideas, and I think you can find that women do offer their own type of value when they give advice / monologues / speak in general.

        [–]HeadingRed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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        Spot on on the internal aiming- it not simple selfishness or self absorbing, it's just the default setting.

        [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 88 points89 points  (8 children)

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        Nominated for "paradigm changing post of 2014" right here.

        Women are both evolved and raised to deal with people, not things. In the world of things, there is one true set of circumstances, the way things really are. Fail to grasp it, and you can't get anything done. Your machines don't work, your bridges collapse, your software crashes and brings down the New York Stock Exchange. But in the world of people, what's important isn't what's really there, but what you can convince other people of.

        Incredible insight here.

        [–]HeadingRed 22 points23 points  (1 child)

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        Agreed- I was trying to explain this a couple of days ago. Women and men view "why" differently, even more so when with members of the same sex.

        Women will answer the why with a motivational response- I did this because I love you, because I wanted everyone to have a good time, I was feeling sad etc. Men will answer with mechanics- it's was the best car for the money, the restaurant was reasonable and has good food, I didn't want to make two trips.

        I spent years trying to get the women I was with to answer questions in my way. I have since given up. Now that I expect the request for an emotional rationalization for mundane mechanical tasks I don't get as pissed and keep my frame better.

        [–]dvrzero -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

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        Nice.

        Maybe I can try getting less upset at my SO for the same things if I can logically assume she's not doing it to upset me.

        Maybe.

        [–]reedrichardsstretch 6 points7 points  (2 children)

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        Women are both evolved and raised to deal with people, not things. In the world of things, there is one true set of circumstances, the way things really are. Fail to grasp it, and you can't get anything done. Your machines don't work, your bridges collapse, your software crashes and brings down the New York Stock Exchange. But in the world of people, what's important isn't what's really there, but what you can convince other people of.

        This young Chinese student that was staying with me through Couchsurfing was the perfect example of this truth.

        She's majoring in some sociological field that I forget. She asks what I majored in and I tell her (Computer Information Systems with a Business Minor). Her response is state how she hated math class and instead of taking responsibility for not doing the work, not having natural aptitude or whatever, she blamed all of her math teachers for being boring (hamstering).

        She then says, to paraphrase, "Also, I didn't like that there was a right and a wrong answer." LOL. I said to her, in all seriousness, "You just don't like being told that you're wrong." She even tried to tell me that 1 +1 != 2.

        Real life, sometimes you can't make this shit up.

        [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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        "Also, I didn't like that there was a right and a wrong answer."

        LOL. Better go for the humanities: where everyone is "right" or "more right" and no one can be wrong, so they just passively aggressively hate on each other

        [–]kinderofen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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        Humanities weren't always this one sided. Epistemology is a complex and interesting subject. Unfortunately it's been hijacked by postmodern shallowpates.

        [–]through_a_ways -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

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        Well, the NYSE can be brought down to "people errors" as well, since the market is controlled by social beings

        [–]still_very_alive 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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        True but irrelevant.

        [–]FugitiveAlpha -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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        [–][deleted] 69 points70 points  (5 children)

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        I think I touched on this on a previous post I made.

        There's a reason women will hate this sub forever, hate seduction, pick-up artists, and game in general. It's not because they are pure and honest creatures that have a distaste for deception in general, it's because they hate deception where you aren't actually as high value as you presented yourself.

        If they give you advice, they have to tread carefully. They need to be able to say "Have high sexual value" without touching on societal taboos that make them seem selfish or even whoreish, so they come up with very safe advice from a woman's standpoint and tell you to simply be the things they want, with no actual set of steps on how to get there (to be fair to women, there's no actual reason they need to know what it takes for a man to be confident, honest, and "natural").

        So yes, no matter how you approach it, never take dating advice from a woman ever. Their mating strategy is far more simple than mens', and any real advice they give you would immediately make that individual look bad, and why would someone incriminate themselves just to help you out?

        I've read somewhere on a blog a while ago that Girl Game is simply 1) be pretty 2) be available, and I agree with that assertion.

        [–]RPGoon 9 points10 points  (1 child)

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        I was listening to Patrice's podcast the other day and he mentioned the same thing regarding Girl Game. He had his girl go try to find a second girl for a threesome. Patrice said she was extremely frustrated because she had no idea how to do it. She thought should could just walk up to a girl and say something along the lines of "come have sex with me and my guy".

        Of course Patrice's girl had shitty Girl Game so it didn't work (even though girls don't have a bitch shield for other women). Game should be easier for women but they still fail at it!

        I've had the same experience in my life - both of my last girlfriends I told to get another girl for a threesome and they both failed miserably everytime they tried.

        [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

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        I have a lady friend that is bisexual, and I absolutely love hearing her stories about trying (and mostly failing) to hit on other women.

        Lesbian dating is like watching two shy, introverted, rejection-fearing AFCs attempt to get each other's attention through every indirect method possible, and hoping someone ELSE makes a move or hopes their intentions are picked up on.

        [–]theVet 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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        The secret impresses no one. The trick you use it for is everything.

        [–][deleted]  (10 children)

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              [–]Noolaw 25 points26 points  (1 child)

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              Womanese is a language every man must learn to up his GAME. Great post!

              [–]Peoria3 35 points36 points  (0 children)

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              Absolutely brilliant insights: "I want to be independent." == "I want to look independent." (I don't, however, want to actually take responsibility for myself. That's hard work.)

              "I would never do that." == "I wouldn't want anyone knowing I did that."

              "I am a good person." == "I want you to think I am a good person."

              [–]TheeRyanGrey 20 points21 points  (2 children)

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              This is phenomenal.

              Should be top post instead of that wannabe seinfeld observational crap

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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              What is the deal with shopping? I just shopped! You wanna shop?! Let's shop! Shop!!!

              [–]TheeRyanGrey -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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              seriously i make the worst posts sometimes

              [–]stemgang 16 points17 points  (1 child)

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              So when a woman tells you something, she isn't stupidly unable to know she's bullshitting you. Nor is she maliciously trying to pull your leg. It's just that, to her, communication consists solely of people trying to bullshit each other.

              AKA "There is no truth; there is only the agenda I am pushing."

              Powerful insights. Thank you.

              [–]Raggos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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              There is no spoon, it is only you that bends. ;)

              [–]LastRevision 14 points15 points  (0 children)

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              Your post is an example of why I love this subreddit, haters be damned. Only on TRP can I be taking a shit at the gym at 7:30am and have massive life revelations.

              [–]p3ndulum 13 points14 points  (1 child)

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              By request (to increase visibility), my response to /u/ThePragmatist42's downvoted reply to OP:

              Neither you or OP are necessarily wrong, but what I think what you're missing is the fact that men come from an active and strategic world view and women from a passive and responsive world view.

              So, for example, when a guy asks a woman for relationship advice, what he's really asking is "what are the things that I can do so that I can (effectively) [have sex with you]?"

              Because a woman is passive and responsive, having almost no idea what it's like to have a strategic mind, her experience tells her that all a person needs to do is just be themselves and a relationship will just happen to them - because that is generally how relationships happen to them.

              When a woman is approached by a man she is attracted to, to her it just feels like the a Hollywood, reached-for-the-taxi-door-handle-at-the-same-time moment, where this Prince Charming just popped up out of nowhere and boom, there's chemistry - and a great romantic story to tell her friends. That's why they hate "creeps" - because they're not capable of giving her a fairy tale love story encounter. And that's why she hates pick-up artists and Red Pillers, because - at least in her mind - they/we're not "being [ourselves]" or being "natural".

              When a woman is giving a man relationship advice, she is effectively trying to tell him "just have the universe align you in a completely organic and natural 'romanitic' situation with a woman whose friends will think you're the perfect guy", because that's what she wants to experience (solipsism).

              Because her worldview is passive and receptive, she doesn't understand that a man is looking for step-by-step owner's-manual-like instructions on how to get a woman to fuck him. To her, either a man is just plugged in or he isn't - and if he's looking for instructions, he must be undeserving of it or broken in some way (a "creep"). She would say "just be yourself" because, d'uh, that's what all the guys she dated did and it worked out fine for them. (More solipsism.)

              From OP's title: "A woman can not tell you how to proceed." That's strategy, and women are followers by nature and don't know how to lead/can't wrap their minds around the concept from a strategic perspective. "She can only tell you what she want to experience." That's because of her passive/receptive worldview. She can't tell you how to create the experience she wants to experience, she can only tell you what she wants it to look or feel like for HERSELF.

              This is why women become irrational/passive-aggressive. When their realities don't match what they want it to look or feel like, they begin to play the role of the victim - because they only see the world from a passive/receptive point of view, which what OP's translations are trying to illustrate.

              To build on what OP said about when she says "I'm a good person", what she's (not) saying is "I want you to think that I'm a good person because 'good' people are treated better and people like them, and that's how I want you to deal with me so then that may become my reality."

              She very well could be a terrible person, but because (again) she is passive/receptive, she can only follow your lead, not having any real clue how she might act in the future (good or bad) because she won't know until she has actually responded and then had a chance to reflect. (Even though her "hampster" will always rationalize that she didn't do anything wrong/it wasn't her fault/she was just the passive victim who was taken advantage of.

              In the case of "I want to be independent", what she is really (not) saying is "I want to be thought as, as well as spoken to as if I'm independent, even though I actually rely on the state/other men - whether it be financial aide or just by them playing along/not suggesting otherwise."

              Women basically spend their entire lives in fairy tale/make believe mode - it's like everything is a game of dress-up, with the hair and make-up, always "pretending" on some level, but don't really know it.

              "Pretend" is their reality.

              "Women and men are equal."

              "If men can do it, we can, too."

              High heels, push-up bras, breast implants, fake eyelashes, often being referred to - and even regularly referring to themselves as "princesses".

              So when they are communicating with men, especially, it's always from a place of "I want you to play along."

              And as soon as you're not playing along, they feel like you're no fun, or a "loser", or a "creep", or a misogynist.

              They are a princess, after all, there'd have to be something wrong with you if you didn't like her or agree with her or validate her for some reason or in some way.

              And therein lies the difference between men and women.

              Men mean what they say, and women say what they want to feel or experience, ala OP's post.

              "You must be a woman-hating misogynist if you don't agree with feminism, because women are passive/receptive, so anything that you don't like about them must be because of something you or (probably) other men have done. So it's you who needs to change, not women."

              It's why just about everything men say and do is "sexist" or why they don't like it when men have an opinion about women - it's because it's often out of line with the fairy tale they want you to create for them.

              It's also why they enjoy flirting so much. Flirting is always suggestive and vague and indirect.

              Anyway, this has just turned into a stream of consciousness because I keep having epiphanies while I write this, so I'll just end it here.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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              this is the best post I've seen on here so far, I'm in awe

              [–]wurding 16 points17 points  (0 children)

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              paraphrasing Nietzsche:

              "Show a woman truth and she will seek vengeance against you"

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                This explains my next conquest's behavior to a T.

                [–]HeadingRed 6 points7 points  (2 children)

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                We should be working on a translation dictonary\glossary of women\mens terms. Example-

                "What do you want to do" = "Think of something I like that you would not mind doing"

                "Anything would be OK" = "Think of something I don't mind doing that much"

                "She and I just hit it off it's like we have been best friends forever" = "I just met her and we have not had the time to disappoint\piss each other off"

                "Can't we just compromise" = "Half the time I get what I want, half the time let's discuss\talk about what you want"

                "You always ________ " = "You do this on occasion and it's pissing me off today because my boss was mean to me"

                [–]1FloranHunter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                "You always blank" in my experience is "blank made me feel bad". I literally only once did some action in my life and a girl said that to me.

                Or maybe, better: attribution error. Her experience of me was brief enough that my single act colored her entire perception of my character.

                [–]zirzo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                That last one is fking annoying

                [–]anotherthrowawaybiff 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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                How did I miss this post? Great write-up. I was particularly laughing about the "Looking for the hidden meaning in your statement" line. I've definitely lived that one more than a few times. The most ridiculous was in recent years, when I was being hit on by a woman online, a member of a forum I frequented. I am happily married, never made any secret of this, and told her so. She was certain that I was secretly attracted to her. It's true that I am flirty with women online, but it's just play and a bit of light game-honing, never serious, and I talk about my wife too so they'll know I'm not seriously pursuing them.

                In this case, she was certain I was interested in her. This translated into some of the most insane behavior I've seen. Work would take me away from the forum for a couple of days and when I came back, she'd claim I was avoiding her because I couldn't handle my "feelings" for her. I was like, "No, I was working and didn't have time to log in." She would hyper-analyze this shit and a day later she'd be completely furious with me from out of the blue because she'd decided all on her own that I was lying to her to hide my feelings and make her crazy.

                It was fucking ridiculous. After a little while of this, I eventually told her, "None of this is real. You are writing an entire story IN YOUR HEAD and the problem is, you are using me as a character in it and assigning feelings and motivations to my character that do not exist. When I tell you something, it's the literal truth, not wordplay." She would then proceed to try and figure out what I "really meant" from that statement. I eventually had to ban & block her.

                The punchline? She was married.

                [–]tcoltr 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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                awesome observation!

                [–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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                This post really made me think. I couldn't help smiling to myself when I spoke with my wife an hour after reading it, and she kept asking what the hell I was laughing about.

                Everything she said suddenly seemed a lot more honest when I translated it.

                Women aren't the only ones who lie, but whoever you're speaking with, there's one thing you can always count on to be true: when somebody says something, the one thing she is always truthfully conveying is what she wants you to think. It doesn't matter if what she says is true or if what she says is what she thinks - what she says is what she wants you to think. Every time she says something, even if you can't trust what she's saying and can't trust what she's thinking, you can always trust what she's inadvertently telling you by listening to what she wants you to think.

                [–]BlackTarnishWatchman 6 points7 points  (2 children)

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                What women want, even with this translation you give, isn't the same as what will make her attracted to you.

                [–]Drfuzzyballs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                Perhaps the illusion of being nice to her and the illusion of being honest to her will make her more attracted to you because other males will percieve her to have more value because they see you treating her well.

                [–]beeker629 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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                i've never heard my ex-wife explained so well.

                [–]BigWhiteMint 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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                Fantastic post skillfully linking several concepts (emotional needs, functional role, seduction as building a narrative). Very nice.

                [–]HeadingRed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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                Women don't tell you what they want, what they want to be like. They tell you what they wish they wanted or want to be like.

                When a woman says "I wish" what they mean is "I don't really want this- I just wish I wanted this"

                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                Wow. we can read about subjective perspective differentiation, or go talk to girls and see what works better. I'm not harping on your logical theory, this is constructive criticism that I see more men taking the approach to preparation over experience. I feel it should be balanced. Also I get really good results from not trying very hard, and trying reeeeeeaaaaaalllly hard and redbull vodka, but nothing in-between really works for me.

                [–]Ceekoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                It's gonna take many re-reads and cogitation to truly process this. Loaded with insight. Tip o' the hat to you, good sir.

                [–]patrissimo42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                Also, this is why it's hard to talk about TRP (or other unpopular issues) with the feminine. At the objective level, it's interesting, but in terms of what other people think about it, whether it's a good illusion, whether it is something you can convince other people of (and look good doing it)...it's a steaming turd sandwich.

                [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                Here is a thought, why do diet programs such as jenny craig work? It is consensus based. Why do most Asian girls think that working out with give you as much muscle as a bodybuilder? Consensus. While I might not agree with everything on this subreddit, this post really is an amazing post and I think women need to at least appreciate posts like this because they go beyond the red pill, they emphasize the basics of communication. Definitely worth the read.

                [–]troubadour1492 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                This advice is spot on.

                I just went around the "be yourself" bush last week. I got a fish on the hook and just about ready to bite my worm, and then I allowed a female friend to psych me out with the "be yourself" bullshit. So now I have a cute girl who will never see me seriously as a sexual prospect again.

                It wasn't all bad though, honestly. I do need to be myself a lot more than I was with that girl. I can play psycho crazy Manson kind of shit, but do I even want girls who respond to that kind of game? If a girl and I are talking about butchering a dead hooker together, is that a piece of ass I really want? (Well, yes, it was, actually. It was like sledding down a hill with jagged rocks at the bottom, seeing if you can jump off in time. Dangerous, stupid, but very exciting!)

                I ended up settling on somebody more myself than that guy. Then I went out and approached a much cuter, much more normal girl, and got her number. I'm myself, just informed.

                [–]W-Z-R 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                Nomination for thread of the year right here

                I give you an A+ for women's studies

                [–]mercuryg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                good stuff

                [–]lutilisateurx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                this is gold

                [–]1spicy_fries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                Thank you for this post.

                [–]specter504 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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                Gold this.

                [–]charlie_bodango -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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                .

                [–]Endorsed Contributorpontifx -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

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                "Love will just happen when you meet the right person." == "I want it to look like it just happened without effort, because he was the right person."

                This is a good read into a lazy bitch. Shit man Whisper you might be onto something theres probably a plethora of sneaky shit women hide into their "authentic" dating advice. Ima ask some girls tonight whatfor and if anything is juicy ill post