When I was first turned on to game almost ten years ago, it was because I finally understood its power. I began to study and practice game. It was an exciting time in my life, full of hope and wonder.
At the same time, I still clung to my nice guy ways. I always believed I was a good person. Noble. Kind. Honest. Caring. I'd make a great father. I'm a good human being who is considerate of his fellow man.
I grew up as the nicest of nice guys. As a nice guy, a lot of my self-esteem was constructed around what a good person I was. It didn't matter that women rejected me, they just couldn't see how great I was. There was something wrong with those women that they didn't appreciate a nice guy like me. My self-righteousness was the only consolation I had.
As I started to go out and approach women, I put myself out there. Due to my immense approach anxiety, it was one of the hardest things I would ever do. It took years to get to the point where I could start up a conversation with a woman without my heart racing and my blood pressure rising.
Along the way, I clung to my nice guy ideals. I tried to have it both ways. "I can be alpha and still be 100% honest with women," I told myself. I don't need to be an asshole. An alpha can still be kind and caring.
I couched my new found skills in socially acceptable verbiage. Instead of, "Women are attracted to assholes," I would say, "Women want a challenge." I still believed women need a deep connection to have sex. After all, it made sex better for me.
I was a red pill apologist. I tried to reconcile my blue pill upbringing with my red pill discoveries. I protested from the rooftops, "You don't have to be an asshole to get women! You can be a great guy." I wanted to have it both ways.
As I experimented more, I gradually started to realize what actually works with women. I began to lose my naiveté. More and more--mostly due to my horniness--I began to mess around on the fringes of blue pill and deeper into red pill. I cut out every nice guy part of me I could. I realized it made women even more attracted to me. The less I got to know them, the more they wanted me. The more stand-offish and dickish I was, the more attracted they were.
There's been a shitty trend here in r/theredpill. You could see it in r/seduction as it got more popular and mainstream. The advice is watered down so that the nicest of nice guys can read it and still get something. It's the kind of dating advice you'd read in GQ. Very little edge. Everything is watered down to socially acceptable, feminist-approved messages. Have good body language. Be a leader. Take initiative.
It's not that this advice won't help you with women but it's the type of advice that helps guys to continue doing 99% of what they are doing wrong around women: being nice. Being nice was (and still is) a cancerous growth at the core of my interactions with women. I've spent years expelling and ridding of myself of automatically doing what I 'should' do around women. And I still have a long way to go.
We see many ugly truths in this sub. And it often seems misogynistic or like we're angry at women. We're not angry. We've just found out that contrary to how much we want to believe, women aren't attracted to the guy who walks old ladies across the street. She may like you as a person, but it doesn't make her want to FUCK you. There are many dark and unsettling qualities that attract women to men and game is about reflecting those qualities back to women.
I'm still a good person. I still walk old ladies across the street. But I'm not naive anymore. I wouldn't tell a woman about it. I would probably hide it. I know that when it comes to women's attraction, no good deed ever goes unpunished.