all 80 comments

[–][deleted] 94 points95 points  (15 children)

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Fascinating, this may be why there is a gender difference in opinions about the opposite sex and promiscuity. Women will not reject a man (generally speaking) who has been with 100+ other women, that probably demonstrates value if she can lock him down into a monogamous relationship. The elusive monogamous relationship with a true alpha is the uphill battle of her dating career.

But a woman who has previously been with 100+ guys does not have the same value, she has lost value. Studies show that there is a correlation between past promiscuity for women and future divorce and infidelity risk. Her capacity to pair bond can be diminished by these experiences.

[–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 88 points89 points  (10 children)

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This perhaps unintentionally perfectly explains the slut-stud double standard as well.

Men on a biological level do not like women sleeping around due to cuckoldry, women on the other hand due to no fear of cuckoldry have no problem with it, in fact quite the opposite if he can sleep with lots of women he must have value as so many women have given it up to him in hopes to get what he has, whereas a woman who gives it up to everyone just tells a guy she cannot be trusted as his kid may not even be his and he could be lumbered with the bill for a kid that isn't his... that shit is actually legal in the U.S the "acting father" or whatever the fuck that bullshit is called.

Emotionally cheating on a woman though and she may get cut off.. makes perfect sense, as always it comes down to money and resources. Men just want a human incubator to birth their children, women want funding for a lifestyle and the incubatee. Lol. I have to put a crude comical spin on this shit, makes it better to digest for me. It's like the fucking sugar in my coffee or the ketchup on my fries. Give a fuck if its quote-mined, we need more humour up in here from time to time other than GayLubeOil and his erotic novels.

[–]ClearArmor 9 points10 points  (7 children)

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Just amplifying/clarifying here. By "acting father" you may mean putative father. Or not. Anyway, this is the legal concept whereby a husband is presumptively and legally the father of any children born to his wife. Any other paternal claims must overcome this assumption. It's sort of an incubation disambiguation rule....

[–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 27 points28 points  (5 children)

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I refer to the fact that if a mans name is on a childs birth certificate and it is later found he is not the biological father, the court will still consider him to be the father for purposes for supporting that woman and that child financially, essentially legislating and institutionalising the feminine imperative with no risk or punishment to the woman and full risk/disincentive to the man. If you spend a lot of time with a kid and are "the only father its ever known" you can also be on the hook for child support.

TLDR: don't date single mothers.

[–]ClearArmor 14 points15 points  (3 children)

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[–]SgtBrutalisk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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I wish I could see the reaction of those quasi-lawyers that were arguing with me in another TRP thread how "this isn't how the legal system works, women aren't privileged /snicker".

[–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Great article with its own post.

[–]nninja -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

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But I'm such a motherfucker

[–]throwaway-o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Anyway, this is the legal concept whereby a husband is presumptively and legally the father

In Plain English of People Doing Things, this translates to: there are a few papers considered holy by the vast majority of people, which say that a man who hasn't created a child is still to be treated as the father (against all common sense and observable reality), including all punishments prescribed by the holy papers against the man if he refuses to act like a father to the kid he did not create.

As you can see, reality is quite more complicated than the Holy Parchments would have idiots believe.

[–]MelodyMyst 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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Is there such a thing as emotional chukholdery? Is that not what an emotional cheating by the man amounts to in the female mind? While in the male mind it us a physical chuck hold. Either one can be reduced to the word betrayal. Just depends on the perspective...

[–]MelodyMyst 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Ok, don't be a dick and just down vote. Put up a reason. I asked a question. I didn't piss in your coffee.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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If a key opens any lock, it's a master key. If a lock opens to any key, it's a shitty lock.

[–]down_with_whomever 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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Studies show that there is a correlation between past promiscuity for women and future divorce and infidelity risk. Her capacity to pair bond can be diminished by these experiences.

If you know of a source for this I'd be really interested to read it. I didn't know that.

[–]1johnnight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Only four nationally representative studies have examined whether premarital sexual experiences are linked to divorce (Heaton, 2002; Kahn & London, 1991; Laumann et al., 1994; Teachman, 2003). Nevertheless, the core finding—the association between premarital sex and increased risks of divorce—is robust. Teachman (2003) found that women who had sex only with their future husbands did not have higher risks of marital dissolution, which suggests that the premarital-sex effect on divorce is related primarily to having sex with multiple partners.

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2012/08/more-promiscuity-data.html

People who are unfaithful to their partner may be genetically predisposed that way. Certain genes linked to sensation-seeking behaviors have been identified by researchers from State University of New York in Binghamton. Their findings are published in the scientific journal PLoS ONE (Public Library of Science). Apparently, the is a certain type of dopamine receptor gene - DRD4 - with is associated with infidelity and one-night stands.

Promiscuity And Infidelity Could Be A Genetic Trait In Some Humans

[–]IntellingetUsername 58 points59 points  (7 children)

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Only 35 percent of men would forgive their partner for a strictly sexual affair.

That's 35 percent too many.

[–]moalfred 19 points20 points  (0 children)

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Agreed. Cut your losses after any kind if affair.

[–]sasaraix 6 points7 points  (3 children)

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Well, we are living in a world filled with white knights

[–]Prime170 6 points7 points  (2 children)

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35% White Knight

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

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It's higher, some were out running errands

[–]Prime170 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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What you did there, I see it.

[–]Tadpole_Jackson 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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Not that I disagree but I feel the same way about the 76% of women that say the same.

The article is curiously missing the sample size and demographic, though.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedSunBlue 22 points23 points  (7 children)

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So is a dude with 10 fuck buddies the equivalent of a chick with 10 beta orbiters?

[–]through_a_ways 41 points42 points  (4 children)

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Not really, because it's mad easy to get beta orbiters

[–]ayjayred 9 points10 points  (3 children)

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But 10 fat fuck buddies are just as easy.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedSunBlue 76 points77 points  (2 children)

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Not on your box springs.

[–]ayjayred 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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badum-tiss!

[–]libglip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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I don't think he meant "all at once."

[–]Human_v2 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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There is an element of preselection I think, if a man has a high SMV he shows it by how many women he has the potential to sleep with, I think the same is true for a woman only since men evaluate this based on visual cues, we know if a woman has a lot of options.

Women look to preselection more because the visual identifiers of a high status man aren't nearly as obvious as for a high value woman. It goes without saying that a very attractive woman will have a lot of orbiters.

[–]PattyCakes1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Patrice O'neal said"the chick working at McDonalds would be just as hot if she was a lawyer"

[–]FuriousMouse 51 points52 points  (1 child)

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In short: Women won't forgive something that compromises the relationship (emotional affairs) and men won't forgive something that would have them bring up a child that was not theirs (sexual affair).
This is very logical in evolutionary perspective.

tl;dr: Women are the gatekeepers to sex, men are the gatekeepers to relationships.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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I like that tldr

[–]Hardparty 14 points15 points  (2 children)

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OKAY my penis maybe went into her vagina. But I didn't kiss her on the lips or hold her hand I swear. Babe. BABE WAIT!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Actually this totally works. Put it somewhere in your brain right now, it might come in handy.

Along the same lines, I have slept with girl who was cheating on her boyfriend and she would avoid kissing and certain things (most of the time).

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

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[deleted]

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)

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    [deleted]

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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      [deleted]

        [–]1johnnight[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        +accept

        [–]RocksCrocsWithSocks 9 points10 points  (1 child)

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        I read this post and go on browsing reddit only to find this:

        I have always been a pretty open person, and I was already interested in having threesomes, swinging, etc. So I thought, no problem, I'm fine with us experimenting with other people anyways, so we can figure this out and he can get what he needs. Well, cue a lot of communication and him feeling a lot better and us planning on being more open sexually together. After a few months he ended up talking to a girl online, and emotionally cheated on me in the hopes of hooking up with her. It would take too long to explain all of this, but in the end, I felt like he had done the worst thing he possibly could, pursuing and forming a romantic relationship with someone else. I always expressed to him that I did not feel like sex was cheating, but I definitely feel like trying to form a relationship with someone else is. He felt like it didnt matter because it didnt mean anything and he was just doing it to get sex, which we agreed on.

        [–]1johnnight[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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        excellent catch

        [–]100 Modbsutansalt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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        I'm stickying this for a bit. I love it when science confirms what we already know.

        [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (12 children)

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        what the fuck is an emotional affair?

        [–]_Fony_ 34 points35 points  (7 children)

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        developing a bond or chemistry with another woman. spending time and developing mutual interests. for example if you are into fitness and you happen to make a female friend who you are not engaging sexually but you work out with her and spend time with just her(like lunch after working out), your woman will consider that cheating emotionally.

        [–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (6 children)

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        So like, a friend?

        [–]_Fony_ 32 points33 points  (0 children)

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        pretty much.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorVZPurp 25 points26 points  (1 child)

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        yeah. if you're keeping other women around in your life, you're better off restricting it to sex.

        it's kind of odd how that plays out.

        [–]colovick 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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        Your girlfriend or wife will kick up more of a fuss for physical cheating, bit it'll actually cause her to leave or do something about it if you start taking other girls out to dinner and things like that because it's more threatening to her existence in your life

        [–]Endorsed ContributorAerobus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

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        And this is why women are jealous of female friends.

        [–]nninja -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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        very close friend I guess

        [–]nninja 8 points9 points  (2 children)

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        I guess like a bf/gf without sex

        [–]carrotplanter 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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        Friends without benefits

        [–]throwaway-o 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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        But with an option to sex. It's not a friendzone we're talking about here.

        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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        Honestly, I did this, it was accidental. She was a coworker, and we spent 4-8 hours at time working parties together, drinking wine with tables, etc. I had a girlfriend, but towards the end of our relationship I started to have feelings for the other girl. A friend in the restaurant told me I was "emotionally cheating" and although I hadn't realized it, she was right. One night, I ran into my coworker at a bar, and after a few drinks, she kissed me. I felt really weird about it, as I had never cheated before. A few days later, I broke up with my girlfriend, because she didn't deserve that. I was drifting away emotionally, which I knew was worse to her than sexually. Couldn't drag it out, I had to just rip off the bandaid, because I knew it would eventually come to an end. Ended up sleeping with the coworker a couple weeks after.

        Shit, meet fan.

        [–]ayjayred 6 points7 points  (10 children)

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        Emotional affair without sex? How does that work? Serious.

        [–]Boss_Monkey 3 points4 points  (2 children)

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        I am guessing oxytocin bonding instead of dopamine bonding.

        [–]rogueman999 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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        Doesn't oxytocin get secreted plenty after orgasm? Post-coital cuddles and all that?

        [–]Alleyria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        Yes.

        [–]Murasa 4 points5 points  (6 children)

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        It's that level just past the friendzone but not quite fuckbuddies (So, actual friends, I guess?). More than just an orbiter.

        Case in point, got a chick I'm in this situation with. After I manned up a bit towards her, she's been telling me private shit, sexually charged talks, etc.

        [–]rogueman999 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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        This is the friendzone. Watch yourself and make sure you don't get comfortable in it. It's very easy to, especially if you're enjoying it. But if you want to get further, you'll have to push for it.

        [–]Murasa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        I've always held the friendzone to be a more insidious beast, such as being used as an one-way emotional outlet, used for financial provision, shit like that. Being treated as a resource rather than a person. I WAS there until I made some changes, and I'm cool where I'm at for now. (The buck stops here. Get it?)

        For the sake of my own sanity, she's just practice material for me at this point. I'm trying out things I've learned here on her to see how she reacts.

        [–]throwaway-o 1 point2 points  (3 children)

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        Case in point, got a chick I'm in this situation with. After I manned up a bit towards her, she's been telling me private shit, sexually charged talks, etc.

        This is the friendzone, until you've done something to break out of it, or exit it.

        [–]Murasa 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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        You're right, it is. I am getting signals I could change that, but she's in a relationship and I don't fuck with other people's business like that, ya know? Her dude is kinda beta, but he's a good guy and he's alright by me.

        [–]throwaway-o 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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        So someone else is gonna plow that, you know. But you have principles. Principles that I admire and share.

        Keep to your principles and keep going forward. And stop talking to her, or plate her. Diversify.

        [–]Murasa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        I hear you brother.

        [–]Goupidan 7 points8 points  (6 children)

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        Hi guys and girls

        Evolutionary psychology is a very controversial field in science and the studies published do not establish causation, but rather only correlation.

        These studies are quite preliminary to establish a theory on sexuality, because studies that show opposite results or that "show" different conclusions exist too.

        [–]carrotplanter 3 points4 points  (5 children)

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        because studies that show opposite results or that "show" different conclusions exist too.

        Show, don't tell

        [–]Goupidan 5 points6 points  (4 children)

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        We just have to test whether these are "biological" or social constructs. This Wikipedia page gives a good summary if you are interested: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_evolutionary_psychology.

        EDIT: Here's a meta-study on evolutionary psychology in which the authors have a critical stance http://www.wmich.edu/evalphd/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Sex_Differences1.pdf

        [–]autowikibot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Criticism of evolutionary psychology:


        Evolutionary psychology (EP) has generated substantial controversy and criticism, including: 1) disputes about the testability of evolutionary hypotheses, 2) alternatives to some of the cognitive assumptions (such as massive modularity) frequently employed in evolutionary psychology, 3) claimed vagueness stemming from evolutionary assumptions (e.g. uncertainty about the environment of evolutionary adaptation, EEA), 4) differing stress on the importance of non-genetic and non-adaptive explanations, as well as 5) political and ethical issues.


        Interesting: Evolutionary psychology | Sociobiology | Stephen Jay Gould | Richard Lewontin

        Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words | flag a glitch

        [–]BigWhiteMint 0 points1 point  (2 children)

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        Meta-analysis is a controversial methodological technique in itself.

        You can pull studies from each side attempting to estimate "effect sizes" all day long. You'll have to contend with error effects all around from shoddy design work, measurement errors, improper application of statistical techniques, etc. This is before you even get into bias and deliberate fraud.

        Personally, I think it's more useful to rely personal experimentation against a strongly worded theory and the sharing of experiences (and I make my living as a research methodologist). Does an evolutionary perspective do a better job of explaining my observations of and success in male/female interactions than popular social theories? That's a resounding "yes".

        I take the same approach with my health because of all the conflicting information. Vary eating patterns/items, measure macronutrients calories/vitamins/minerals, track temp/pulse/stress hormones/general feeling of well-being, etc. I think that scientific thinking regarding social problems can be useful. I'm much more hesitant to say that about academic social science. I'd rather be my own authority.

        [–]Goupidan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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        Think about the exceptions that arise in LGBTQ people. They can't be explained by evolutionary psychology and yet it's no excuse to be oppressive in any manner whatsoever in regards to people who do not abide by the "top-down", if I may say, gender roles and structures.

        While TRP theory has helped you develop as a person, we must be aware and mindful that it does not apply to everyone.

        [–]BigWhiteMint 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        You don't know enough how I see anything to offer me a lesson. In any case, I never saw anyone in here claim that evolutionary influences on general psychology are completely deterministic, just strong.

        [–]NoThankYouJeff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        It doesn't matter what this ''survery'' says. I usually don't put much trust into research which is based on surveys.

        The matter of the fact that is, despite only 30% of men saying that they'd forgive their woman for a sexual affair, the vast majority of betas have no choice but to forgive her or else risk going without sex for a long time since they're unable to attract another partner or find it very hard. In a relationship, unless you're an alpha you really have very little control, the woman has all the control, which is why you should make sure to have the upper hand at all times.

        [–]ThirdLegGuy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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        This needs to be in the sidebar

        [–]Vergil387 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        this is like a gold mine

        [–]CptDefB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        \o/ <- One of the greatest gestures ever; victory.

        [–]dauntlessmax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Taking a Stats class, I naturally have a jaundiced view towards the legitimacy of surveys, but this is definitely an interesting read.

        [–]Motiv8tion 0 points1 point  (2 children)

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        Debatable. Here my evidence: I had sex, multiple time with a girl who just got out of a 3 year relationship. After two months of being with her (a time where her ex-boyfriend knew we were seeing each other/hooking up) they got back together. He was the one who initiated it (I saw it first hand, he would call text her 100-200 times a day, EVEN though he knew we were hooking up). They are now back together, and have been for a few months.

        [–]Peripheryy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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        One anecdote isn't helpful at all.

        [–]Motiv8tion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Just thought I'd share a first hand experience...