It came to my attention the other day while reading a thread regarding a guy who was put on hold during a phone call (so she could pick up another call). He had mentioned hanging up because it suddenly occurred to him he was tolerating a disrespectful attitude. I happen to agree that hanging up was a good move.
But the responses went everywhere from there.
would have been better not to answer when she called back.
I've used a simple, not agressive but deadpan "I don't wait". Just hang up when it goes on hold.
Count to thirty and hang up. If they want to talk to you they know how to call you back.
i would probably say something like "Call me back when you're done"
You could be a little pushier and say, "So?" or "That's nice." or "So let them leave a voice mail. I was talking before you just interrupted me."
Better answer--don't stick your dick in selfish rude bitch.
These answers range from actively challenging them to passive aggression. None are necessarily wrong answers, and might work in some scenarios, but I think it's important not to get caught up in the aggressive as-alpha-as-you-can-get feedback loop on a forum dedicated to talking about what it might mean to be alpha.
Let's analyze this behavior assuming this is early on in a fling, where you're still trying to get that plate spinning...
First of all, many aggressive responses would demonstrate a break in frame. If you say "you interrupted me" you are needlessly changing the tone, moving yourself from amused mastery to downright flustered. You have lost your frame. Secondly, responding in this way doesn't do much to boost attraction.
It's as if somebody got the idea that the golden standard of alpha is truly just a dick nobody wants to be around.
If you aren't pleasant enough to boost attraction, people won't like you.
You want to convey that your time is worth something, you are not a doormat. But you are also not a mindless drone that doesn't understand compromise, nor understands when to be pleasant to boost attraction.
I talk about this a lot when I post, so anybody who reads my work will recognize this theme I've been pushing, but how hard to push alpha depends solely on your local market.
You need to analyze and understand your market.
Are you in a market that's drenched in pussy? Are you in a market that's dry?
These are variables that will affect how you approach women. If you're in a market that has 10:1 guys to girls at the bar, you won't much establish yourself with a take-it-or-leave it approach... when they clearly know they can leave it.
This might seem like advice to becoming a slave to the pussy, and rest assured this would be a mistake to do- but you have to understand your market if you're going to be successful in it.
In a market where women are a dime a dozen, you have more power and more room to assert yourself. If she knows you can walk, she will withdraw from shit tests more quickly. If she knows you can't walk, or that she has options, she won't give a flying fuck about your ass hanging up- instead you've cost yourself an opportunity.
So what do you do on the phone?
You establish that your time is valuable, but you don't be an asshole about it. She is demonstrating that she doesn't value your time... and in certain markets, she can dictate that. She knows she can get guys drooling for the pussy and she won't fuss with a guy that won't jump hoops.
In certain markets, she can dictate that.
Don't forget this important piece of information. If you are going to be enlightened and play the game, you cannot lie to yourself about markets.
Ever go to a concert where bottles of water are $5 each (or beer over $10)? You think to yourself, water is free, falls from the sky, and you'd never pay that. But here you are, at a concert, and they know they have the market cornered. You might not want that, and a smart fella would avoid that market altogether, but the market exists, and the price will be set by supply and demand. Ignoring this is as ignorant as your were in your blue pill days.
What do you do? Do you become a slave? No of course not. But you don't set ultimatums before you've built attraction.
You don't set ultimatums before you've built attraction.
Saying "hey, I'm out anyway, call me later" is a perfectly good way to assert you're not a doormat, but it's rolling with the punches. She's busy, you get it. You're not fussed because you've got a life too. It doesn't bother you, your frame is unbroken, but you're not door-matting either.
Now I know full well some markets tolerate more than others, so you will need to adjust your behavior accordingly.. but make sure that you do adjust your behavior to your market.
Some of the advice here is just fucking awful for some markets, and following it blindly is just god damned stupid.
I'll restate my rule of thumb, don't set ultimatums before you've build attraction. At what stage you build attraction depends on your local market, but you have to get her hooked before you hardball. In some markets where you're in high demand, you can call the shots the first day you meet her. In some markets responding to the on-hold scenario with the advice above would cost you the opportunity.
Some guys would say, "it doesn't matter if it costs you the opportunity. Ain't no pussy worth that shit..."
I'm going to disagree with that here. If you know what you're doing, and you know what you want, there is no behavior beneath you that you can't use to attain your goals. This includes beta game, alpha game, and everything in between. In some markets you are going to have to scale it back.
It shouldn't have to be said, but recently I've seen a lot of focus by our members here on trying to one-up eachother on the most alpha way to deal with a situation...and it's fun to discuss, but it's not right, it's not the full picture, and it's going to lead some people astray. When you don't feel comfortable utilizing your full repertoire of behaviors to achieve your goals, you've artificially limited yourself.
We brag about being alpha, and discuss it's benefits because most people start off not understanding how to act at all, being slaves to the pussy. But once you master your game, you also need to learn when to use it, how to use it, and how to scale it back.
The true mark of a player (or a man who genuinely wants a relationship) is one who knows not only how to game a chick, but how to get her to fall in love. You don't want to cost yourself the opportunity to have a doting plate bringing you dinner and beers on a weeknight just because you failed to pick up the principles of game.
Make no mistake, a number of those replies above were setting ultimatums, and without proper attraction, you will be on the losing side of the ultimatums.