all 118 comments

[–]justRPthings 27 points28 points  (1 child)

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That was long, but a seriously great post. Well worth a read through.

Another example is known as a “shit test.” A shit test is basically when a woman challenges a man with a bit of anxiety she has been feeling. If a man reacts with masculinity, he passes. If he reacts with anxiety, he fails.

thats a great concise description of what is at the core of all shit tests. god I love this post.

[–]sweely 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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I think this is the very first time I've understood what a shit test really means. Great post!

[–]No_disintegrations 70 points71 points  (17 children)

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Another reason women may become “bitches” is that they are trying to fake masculinity – but because they don’t have the actual emotions that accompany masculinity, they come off as unconfident and vindictive.

That's my main issue with most "career" women. They think that if they talk enough about how ambitious or confident they are, then that's true. The most confident people never need to tell you that they're the shit.

This effect snowballs into their attitude, and it becomes pretty obvious that they're faking it.

[–]Samantha_Simpson 22 points23 points  (3 children)

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This reminds me of the time I was at a bookstore and picked up a self-help book geared towards business women out of curiosity (it was also written by a woman). The advice in there came across to me as overly aggressive and domineering. If any woman were to actually follow it in real life, she'd be dismissed as "trying too hard".

I have spent some time observing qualities of strong leaders (who are mostly male). You're right in that the best ones don't ever need to tell anyone that they're the best - it's like some kind of aura that they just seem to naturally exude.

[–]1lucifa 14 points15 points  (2 children)

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it's like some kind of aura that they just seem to naturally exude.

This was discussed in that MMA thread the other week. The OP commented on the fighters exuding a calm demeanor, as there was no doubt in the room they were top dogs and had nothing to prove.

Whenever you see a guy try and assert his dominance overtly through aggression or posturing, it just comes across as an insecure move to disguise their low value.

[–]FunPun 21 points22 points  (2 children)

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The most confident people never need to tell you that they're the shit.

A great point right there. As Tywin Lannister said "Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king."

[–]o0o-o0o 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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King of the north! King of the north! King of the north!

[–]No_disintegrations 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Characters don't get much more RP than Tywin.

[–]rebuildingMyself 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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The confidence boasting usually comes off as borderline retarded. So you studied hard in school, pounded the pavement, and got a job. That's what you're supposed to do! Six guys in this room did the exact same thing and there's no trophies given out to them.

[–]No_disintegrations 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Yes. You do not get credit for accomplishing the bare minimum that is expected of men.

[–]Endorsed ContributorpuaSenator 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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That's what I try to tell people. It's not that women are just naturally bitchy bosses because their gender. Instead it's because they are faking masculine leadership which makes them come off as fake and untrustworthy. Take for instance Sen Clinton vs Sen Titus. Clinton has genuine emotions and leadership qualities. Meanwhile, Titus, well I just want to slap that fake smile off her face every time I see it.

[–]1KyfhoMyoba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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David Deida calls it the 'masculine shell.' He speaks of it in detail in 'The Way of the Superior Man.'

[–]CarnageReincarnate 2 points3 points  (5 children)

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Hijacking top comment. I think you pretty much described Freud's "penis envy" theory. I would look up his theories and "defense mechanisms" if you guys are interested in hardcore psychology.

[–]GuildedCasket 7 points8 points  (4 children)

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I would caution anyone who looks up Freud to be aware that almost nothing he said has been validated with empirical data. His theories are pretty... outdated. He was very important to psychology, just not very accurate.

[–]CarnageReincarnate 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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Psychology itself it not a very accurate science (unless you're focusing on the neuroscience aspect of it), but a lot of what he theorized was based on decades of psychiatry. I wouldn't discount Freud just because the main criticism against him is that his theories are "untestable". At the same time, you can't take everything he says literally because some of it is pretty crazy.

That said, many of Freud's theories still hold up today (defense mechanisms and free-association are still used by psychiatrists today for things like CBT)

[–]GuildedCasket 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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Freud based his ideas on his own therapy with his patients and how he interpreted it in relation to his current time period. What he did wasn't scientific, and few of his principles stand up. He is very valuable, and his ideas about the subconscious led to great places, but I wouldn't recommend anyone start there because it doesn't give them the more rounded view of what we've actually discovered. It also fits in far too neatly with "pop psych" and is likely to be taken on as fact when it is really shaky.

For example, his psychosexual stages? There has been no evidence to support that the things he ties in with each stage ties in with later personality traits, i.e. a baby who could not control his bowels very well becoming "anal" later, or a babies who are more orally fixated being more likely to become addicted to cigarettes or whatever. Also, loose attachments to your father if you're a male does not correlate to being homosexual, and double backflip failed Electra complexes do not make lesbians - we can tell because parental attachment does not predict The main criticism isn't that they're untestable, it's that they don't pan out. His defense mechanisms, however, are somewhat valid, although we don't think their manifestation is due to conflicts between id, ego and superego. Projection, for example, could be due to the accessibility schema, where you're preoccupied with it in yourself, so you constantly see it in others. Splitting (basically his explanation for DID) is explained better (in my opinion) through behavioral theories of state based learning. Free association is still used, but more because of how our brain is structured and how we naturally, cognitively access information because of how it's organized.

[–]CarnageReincarnate 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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Considering OP just described penis envy regarding most women (and the fact that it makes sense as most non-submissive women that I've known are batshit crazy), I'd still give points to Freud. The guy had a thing for incest but he knew whats up with people's minds.

I can't really change your opinion and you won't change mine but I appreciate the explanation.

[–]GuildedCasket 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Eh? Penis envy is the idea that at some point females feel like something is "missing" because males have something dangling and females don't. I don't think it has to do with this idea of weak vs. masculine traits.

[–]Lightning14 23 points24 points  (2 children)

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It is much more attractive to a woman to see a man be passionate and emotional about something other than her, but also to let her tag along so she can channel her emotions through him and feel masculine through his life.

Wow, I never reflected on the truth of this before. Anecdote time. Sports and live music are two areas where I can really get into the moment and forget everything else. They are passions of mine, where even when I was usually very beta I wouldn't be bothered with a woman's needs in that environment. I had an ex who would watch basketball games with me (even though she had no interest before or after our LTR) and told me she loved seeing me get so into the games. Another FWB told me once that live music for me was like sex because she could see the excitement in my face when we were out. Neither of these girls really cared much about basketball or live music on their own, but it appears in my presence they definitely enjoyed it.

[–]2emptyform 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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Mirrors my experience exactly.

[–]Hardparty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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damn, good eye ♂

[–]reek__ 21 points22 points  (0 children)

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I'm usually an unemotional prick til I find someone I'm interested in then I turn into a little bitch.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (3 children)

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Wow, serious wall of text, but worth it. I spent a lot of time in my younger days with a well known jungian writer who was a mentor, and this is exactly what he said many times over, albeit in a different language, and he was right.

As far as the end of your post, how to deal with this stuff? Some guys go cocky-funny with a females emotions, but the reality is that this is immature, more appropriate for teenagers and people who are most comfortable with interactions on a superficial level. The masculine response to one's own or another's emotional weakness is a stony gaze on the horizon (don't engage or get personally involved) and then some form of action. Not action to 'fix' but action that betters oneself because thats what men do. Women, although they may not understand immediately, eventually respect this sort of behavior because in general it is what they are not capable of. Wallowing in the bog of emotionality is poison to masculinity, and if indulged makes an inferior man. It's something we all need to learn to leave behind in order to grow up, and it's not easy even though it is necessary.

This is a great post. Wish we saw more like it here.

[–]Labore_Et_Constantia 15 points16 points  (0 children)

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I think you need a combination of humor and stoicism because using too much of one and not ANY of the other makes you predictable, even while both of them CAN work and both of them DO work completely on their own, the combination of them makes them lethal.

There are times when you want to use humor to diffuse the situation and there are times when you want to just be completely stoic/serious and let her know, enough is enough and you're not tolerating it on ANY level (not even humoring her BS).

[–]jianinglai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Well said, thank you for sharing.

[–]16 Endorsed Contributorss_camaro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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stony gaze on the horizon (don't engage or get personally involved)

Or escalate physically in a non-sexual way.

[–]logi_thebear 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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I think this is a contender for my favorite TRP post thus far.

[–]through_a_ways 6 points7 points  (1 child)

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For example, it’s dating 101 that a man should take the lead on a date, choose the restaurant, guide the conversation, choose the next bar, etc… Most men don’t know this instinctively. Instead, they think “well I don’t really care where we eat – I’ll ask her what she likes.” But in a woman’s mind, making any choice invites them back into the hell of their weak emotions. “There are so many restaurants. Which one? What if the Italian place is closed? What if he doesn’t like it? Etc…”

This rings so true for me, especially the relation to cuisine. I've always been a "novelty seeker", and one of the ways I express that is through food.

Two years ago, I was invited to a girl's house, along with a bunch of other friends. The girls were getting together to bake something. I ask the host girl if I can make miso soup while they're there. She seems wishy washy, hamsters excuses as to why I shouldn't, then finally says no, because she's "not comfortable with it".

Literally almost the same thing happened at another gathering several years ago, different girl.

My mother would always express concern when I brought home unfamiliar ingredients. Fuck, she would discourage me from getting a coconut because it was "too much work", as if she was the one preparing it.

Cooking on a non-gourmet level (that competes with 95% of restaurants out there) is easy as fuck, provided you have access to fresh, quality ingredients. It doesn't take much skill to figure out how to use a particular item. Even if you're stumped, you've got internet.

The thing is, women are afraid of novelty, regardless of whether there's a good reason for it. There was a study that tried to quantify the behavior of "novelty seeking", and found that males were overrepresented in those behaviors.

This fundamental behavior of seeking novelty vs. going along with the crowd would not only explain discrepancies between males and females in the hobbies they partake in, but also in their respective sexual interests and entrepreneurial behavior.

My mistake: Asking the girl for permission. If the same situation presented itself now, I'd probably just bring the ingredients over and say "I'm gonna be making some miso soup for you guys"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Exactly.

I used to have that whole problem with "where do you want to eat", "wherever", "how about this place?", "nah", " ok how about here", " not in the mood for that"...etc..

But today im like "where do you want to eat?" "wherever", "ok, get your shoes, lets go, ill tell you where were going along the way."

If I get complains I tell them they should have picked when they had the chance. They will most likely be satisfied, or at least will pick a place themselves next time.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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[deleted]

    [–]redbluepilling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    Sex, fortitude, accomplishment of goals, and happiness...

    [–]1lucifa 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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    Studies have definitively shown that women experience anxiety and depression at twice the level men do. Maybe the chemicals in their brain produce more anxiety and depression, or maybe they just feel it worse because they don’t have masculinity to combat it. Who knows?

    Estrogen.

    Interestingly guys with high testosterone may also have an issue with this, given that a percentage aromatases to estradiol. Guys on steriods can get really emotional if they don't keep their estrogen in check with aromatase inhibitors.

    I'd advise any man to have their E1 and E2 blood levels tested to verify they're within a healthy range. You need a reasonable amount of estrogen for well-being, joint care, libido and muscle building, but any excess is extremely undesirable for men. It's easy to manage by dosing low amounts of Aromasin.

    [–]Darth_Pete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    It all depends on the amount. Estrogen is normal in both male and female, likewise, androgens are normal in both genders as well.

    Aromatization occurs in fat tissue. This process is normal. Aromatization becomes a concern if the person has a high percentage of fat tissue (e.g. Male with excess fat or in general women). Such a case is polycystic ovarian syndrome where the female patient would produce excessive testosterone which then aromatized to estrogen further increasing the hormonal imbalance.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

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    Yea I get described as an emotionless robot simply because I don't break down once a week...

    [–]Hoodwink 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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    I know this setup.

    What's she actually saying is that she's not feeling anything with you. She's a girl who needs beta orbiters. But, you probably also need to work on making her feel something - anything really. It's not about you feeling something, it's about you making her feel.

    Men recharge with quiet. The new 'fishing' is some mindless video-game. Women like that don't actually recharge and calm the ocean waves, they distract themselves with other feelings.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    I give her the "fuck me now feelings" which is good enough for me.

    [–]CptDefB 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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    This is really fucking good.

    I don't see gold tossed around here much, but this post is beyond deserving.

    You should feel excellent about writing it.

    [–]1Modified_Hackware 4 points5 points  (3 children)

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    Studies have definitively shown that women experience anxiety and depression at twice the level men do.

    I think this says a lot when comparing the levels of suicide between men and women. What levels of depression and anxiety were the men having - given that they're overwhelmingly the more likely to commit suicide.

    [–]sexowlinyourwindow 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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    Do those studies just take women at their word or something? Off the top of my head, I can't think of any girl I've know who, if she said she was depressed, that I would believe.

    [–]1Modified_Hackware 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    I don't know - I think this is likely though. There is a depressingly(Forgive me) large amount of studies that poll people's feelings - rather than empirical data.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Thats kind of most of what psychiatists have to work with. Checklists based off of your word.

    [–]RcskaSedd 11 points12 points  (0 children)

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    Great post, as a masculine man you are here to heal a women's emotional weakness (heals means to relieve off, not fix or cure) while a feminine women is here to heal physical wounds (lifting,being sore, back pains, ect ect), so many on this forum get so pissed off when they confess their insecurities to their SO, we'll duh, she is here to fix your physical wounds you dummie, you're playing the wrong role, it's your own fault, not the girl who you dumped you because you went soft, you communicated to her "I'll be the female and you be the male sweetie"

    [–]Gabe6678 8 points9 points  (23 children)

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    Well written. What should I do if a woman tells me about a legitimate problem? For example, she thinks she didn't pass her final. She probably did, but there's a good chance she didn't.

    [–]1Hyooge 46 points47 points  (3 children)

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    Give her a long friendly asexual hug and console her for 4 hours telling her everything will be alright.

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

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    And buy her several expensive meals.

    [–]dray121212 11 points12 points  (0 children)

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    Great advice. I end up laying mad pipe using that strategy.

    [–]no_face 14 points15 points  (0 children)

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    "Either way, you can still get a job at NASA ... in the kitchen"

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 16 points17 points  (11 children)

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    What should I do if a woman tells me about a legitimate problem? For example, she thinks she didn't pass her final. She probably did, but there's a good chance she didn't.

    This is another example of a weak emotion. There is nothing you can say to her to make her feel better. You can't fix her final for her. So you might as well just say "I KNOW you did fine" and change the subject.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    "That's always a possibility. We'll just have to wait and see."

    [–]itsmsbetty -1 points0 points  (9 children)

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    That doesn't make sense. 'I know you did fine.' she comes back the next day with a 12%...

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 7 points8 points  (7 children)

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    there is nothing else I can say. Like I said, there is nothing I can say to make her feel better. Once she fails the quiz, I can say "well the quiz wasn't important." But at that time, that's my best option .

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Tell her to study harder for the next one, theres no point in dwelling on the past.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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    Worrying about something you can't know is pointless. Worry over the outcome of a final exam should be dismissed outright. Once the outcome is known you then deal with the resulting emotions.

    [–]fin8 7 points8 points  (1 child)

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    Give her a nuggie

    [–]kinklianekoff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    "it is out of your hands" and instantly redirect to something positive

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    "Keep pushing forward."

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Ask her if she can do anything about the problem, if not, why worry about something out of her control now? Distract her away to something you both enjoy.

    [–]another1takesthepill 4 points5 points  (8 children)

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    my answer to any insult:

    • Come on ... I thought you'd come up with something funnier

    Regarding expressing emotions:

    • I took a pic of my bookshelf to show some books to a girl and she commented on how many books I had on relationships, love, falling in love, self help, etc (which I bought after my ex dumped me time ago). Guess what she said? ... That's gay. That's not usually male books.

    Guess where I threw them ...

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

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    The girl? You dumped her.

    [–]another1takesthepill 3 points4 points  (3 children)

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    I think I had already signaled my beta status by having these books around so maybe she nexted me ... we haven't talked for a while so definitely I'm out of the game.

    Which is great cause once you start being RP you just say: "Oh crap I fucked it ... ok. I'm not gonna get anything here. Next". Time for oneitis is gone!

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

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    Why the hell should you dump your self-improvement books?

    I do have many different books on my shelf. Many self-improvement ones. Many about addiction. My knowledge about human issues is pretty cool, I love it. This is one of my strong points. I have some religious books I bought, some of them I started reading but they are haaard, I keep them, what the hell.

    As somebody on the TRP wrote, women don't care about self-improvement.

    If girl dumps you basing on your bookshelf, which, as you said, contained self-improvement books, and there's nothing wrong about them IMO, she was not interested in you in the first place.

    [–]another1takesthepill 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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    I expressed it wrong (English not being my language). I threw them into a drawer. Although I see your point, I think having books on love, relationships and stuff isn't the most masculine thing ... or wait, she was shit testing me ... agh!

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    You did not only dump the books but your whole frame.

    Set them the hell up there again, make them visible from a long distance.

    Just be fucking proud of them. And think of any witty response to the next shit-test.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    What's the difference between reading self-improvement books and reading TRP? If you like the books and become better from reading them, it doesn't matter at all what she thinks. She was probably shit-testing you, and the last kind of woman you want I your life is one who makes fun of your books.

    [–]Hardparty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    how many fucking books has she read in her life? ask her that. I wouldn't want you to bless her vag with your cock from the sounds of it.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Thats gay. --translation--> I wish I knew how to read.

    [–]EmergedRed 1 point2 points  (6 children)

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    From a TRP perspective, is there any advantage into utilizing your own weak emotions to show vulnerability and potentially trigger attraction in a girl? Or should a man always demonstrate invulnerability in their emotions?

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

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    That's a good question and I honestly don't know. I think if you do talk about your weak emotions, you have to do in a way that shows that you have conquered them completely or that you do a great job of controlling them. However, you do not want to look like an emotionless robot.

    [–]riyuugonepro 0 points1 point  (4 children)

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    That's indeed the hard part, going one way(emotional) or the other(emotionless) is easy.

    To find balance between those 2 is the hard part. If you're too insensitive they'll have nothing to hold to.

    So how can you manage to be unemotional but not insensitive? For example she says she's stressed and you know why. You can't just not give a shit, but if you care too much she also looses attraction.

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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    She says shes stressed. I ask her why. She gives her reason. If her reason is legitimate, I offer a solution. If her reason is bullshit I dismiss it.

    [–]CodeineCowboy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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    What about when she is suddenly always...stressed...?

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    Honey, you need therapy.

    And if it continues, you dump her. If a woman keeps showing you weak emotions and nothing you can do silences them, then she is probably not interested.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    [–]sam_sing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    Eye opening.

    [–]Audiodragon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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    This is why lifting should be an important part of your life. Because the more you lift, the less you start to care. The more you train, the less feelings start to have an effect on you. You start to react less. You still feel them, but you can control them more easily.

    This is what I've learned here. Whenever a woman is taunting you to react to what she makes you feel, you should outright brush it off and laugh. When you laugh, she gets reassured. Lifting helps this immensely, because

    1) You are strong. The notion that your body is strong also reflects to your brain, and you find it easier to be unfazed.

    2) The idea that you will be lifting weights her size makes her look immensely small in your life, which also helps you stay unfazed.

    Obviously it is extremely hard for anyone to be able to act like this all the time, and in most cases you will have to use your wits and fail to some degree, but the main idea is to never let negative feelings make you react.

    [–]unmitigatedbadassery 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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    This seems like sidebar material to me, after cleaning up the two merging sentences below:

    If she insults me with what she KNOWS to be a frivolous insult and I don’t react negatively I If I act upset or insult her back, she loses attraction because I am displaying weak emotions and I show myself to be a suitable partner because I can destroy weak emotions in a way she can’t.

    This clears up a few things to me, as I would eventually like to tackle a lifelong LTR.

    You have to dismiss women’s anxieties without looking like an insensitive jerk (most men fail on this point).

    I have been pondering this lately. The first level of this is to dismiss shit-tests in a perfect way. But I have been thinking that when in an LTR it is not always that simple and that this has several levels to it. As you said; Men must be the immovable rock, but still be sensitive to legitimate concerns. Maybe a post discussing this in particular, going beyond just the shit-tests and how to defeat them? I am sure it would be greatly appreciated.

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    i cleaned it up, thanks for catching that

    [–]QQ_L2P 3 points4 points  (2 children)

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    Great post. Have you considered posting this to /r/AlreadyRed?

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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    never even heard of it

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    I'm a moderator there and our list shows you were added 2 months ago.

    [–]Traz_Onmale 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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    There are problems with some of your statements:

    This is a wild oversimplification, but mental illness is basically when a person’s weak emotions become too strong and a person’s logical mind cannot control them.

    It is due to the capability of abstract thinking, foreseeing potential future scenarios and logic that anxiety or depressive disorders are prevalent in the human species. Depressive patients can give you a very accurate and logical account of why their life is meaningless and why they're better off dead. Anxious patients can give a long list of things that indeed might go wrong. Highly intelligent people are prone to suffer from social anxiety and existential depression.

    The precise definition of masculinity is beyond the scope of this article, but you know it when you see it.

    (Low) neuroticism and (low) agreeableness. Defining a trait by the group this trait is more prevalent in is confusing.

    Women in power are often considered “bitches” probably because people suffering from the weak emotions are more likely to feel anxious and threatened, and lash out and become defensive.

    Women actually score higher on average than men on agreeableness. See also this study and this excellent lecture (University of Toronto) on gender differences in agreeableness.

    Now here is where the misogyny starts: because women are less masculine than men, they feel weak emotions on a stronger level than men. Studies have definitively shown that women experience anxiety and depression at twice the level men do. Maybe the chemicals in their brain produce more anxiety and depression, or maybe they just feel it worse because they don’t have masculinity to combat it. Who knows? Feminists argue that women feel anxiety and depression more than men because society is tougher on women, but they’re probably just creating a bullshit explanation to explain data that is not favorable for them.

    There are several reasons women are prone to experience more negative emotions than men:

    1. They are more vulnerable (less upper body strength). Anxiety may thus be more important to prevent injury and death.
    2. They run a higher risk of sexual violence. See 1.
    3. They are (were) the bottleneck for offspring. Staying safe as a woman would therefore be important for a tribe living in the stone age.
    4. Being tasked with the safekeeping of their children. When carrying a child with you, you have to be more careful.
    5. Sexual selection by men. Reason 1-4 and the risk of cheating would make it evolutionary adaptive for men to prefer women to be more anxious and less adventurous. Also, sexual selection by women of brave men (to fight, to hunt) may lead to braveness being defined as masculine and therefore cowardliness as feminine, leading again to a preference of anxious women by men.

    It is said that women are more “compassionate” and “sensitive” than men. This is sometimes true – because women feel the weak emotions more strongly than men they are oftentimes more compassionate to people going through those things. However, women can also be more cruel and heartless than men because when a person is under the grip of the weak emotions and feels threatened, they will lash out in incredibly vindictive and destructive ways with no regard for the feelings of others.

    See before. Women are more agreeable and men are more aggressive. This is logical (men have evolved to fight and kill) and obvious when you look around (prisons are filled with men).

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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    It is due to the capability of abstract thinking, foreseeing potential future scenarios and logic that anxiety or depressive disorders are prevalent in the human species. Depressive patients can give you a very accurate and logical account of why their life is meaningless and why they're better off dead. Anxious patients can give a long list of things that indeed might go wrong. Highly intelligent people are prone to suffer from social anxiety and existential depression.

    Are you fucking kidding me? Depression and anxiety are mental disorders. They are not good. They are emotions caused by chemicals in your brain. They can be alleviated by ingesting other chemicals. They are not rational thoughts.

    Women actually score higher on average than men on agreeableness. See also this study and this excellent lecture (University of Toronto) on gender differences in agreeableness.

    Ok, but when women are put in positions of power where they can't be agreeable, they are bitches. 90% of women say they would rather work for men. Women aren't "naturally" nicer than men.

    There are several reasons women are prone to experience more negative emotions than men:

    Where the fuck did you get this list? You didn't cite any sources. It's a fact that women are more prone to anxiety than men, and it doesn't really matter why. They are like that now.

    [–]Traz_Onmale -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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    Are you fucking kidding me? Depression and anxiety are mental disorders. They are not good. They are emotions caused by chemicals in your brain. They can be alleviated by ingesting other chemicals. They are not rational thoughts.

    I didn't say mental disorders were thoughts or that they were good, what are you talking about?

    Ok, but when women are put in positions of power where they can't be agreeable, they are bitches. 90% of women say they would rather work for men. Women aren't "naturally" nicer than men.

    This only shows that disagreeableness is accepted more from men than from women.

    Where the fuck did you get this list? You didn't cite any sources. It's a fact that women are more prone to anxiety than men, and it doesn't really matter why. They are like that now.

    OP's convoluted theories without sources are acceptable but much simpler explanations are not. Here's a source:

    Environmental and social sex-differences in behavior reflect differences of behavioral strategies in coping and can be considered in the conceptual frame of evolutionary theory. Evolutionary theory predicts that males and females will be the same or similar in all those domains in which the sexes have faced the same or similar adaptive problems but will differ in domains in which they have faced different adaptive problems over their evolutionary history. Each sex possess mechanisms designed to deal with its own adaptive challenges. Although natural selection is considered the main causal process producing adaptation, Darwin [73] introduced a second theory of evolution, the theory of sexual selection. Sexual selection is the causal process of the evolution of characteristics on the basis of a direct reproductive advantage, as opposed to survival advantage. In species with sex differentiated patterns of parental investment [74], the sex with the lower level of parental investment (typically the male) is expected to pursue a higher risk strategy compared to females, including being prone to risk taking and sensation or novelty seeking. This follows because the high investment sex (typically female) is expected to mate relatively easily, is highly limited in the number of offspring, and does not typically benefit from additional matings [74], [75] and [76]. As males typically benefit from additional matings, males must often compete with other males for access to females. Successful males are able to sire much higher number of offspring than unsuccessful males, who are often without access to mating.

    As males have higher reproductive potentials than females (i.e. ‘more to gain and less to lose’), risk taking directed at resource acquisition can have higher payoffs for males compared to females. Males in general are expected to be higher than females on behavioral approach systems (including sensation seeking, neophilia, exploratory behavior, risk taking, boldness, sensitivity to reward and impulsivity) and on behaviors related to intrasexual competition (i.e. aggression, territory defence, courtship). Although this seems a heterogeneous list of traits, it forms a conceptual unit within the theory of sexual selection: all these behaviors involve high risk taking that would benefit males more than females. It follows that design features that can increase reproduction should thus be favored by sexual selection, notwithstanding the cost to health or longevity. For instance, males tend to show high levels of sensation/novelty seeking, which are associated with the expression of risky behaviors and drug abuse [77]. This trait can also be associated with the fact that in most mammalian species, natal dispersal is sexually dimorphic, with males that reach puberty usually emigrating from their natal areas whereas females are typically philopatric [78]. Consequently, males and females are also likely to have different social roles and attitudes. Crepau and Newman [79] have reviewed gender-specific response profiles to threatening stimuli in a number of Primate species under natural conditions, and have related these differences to variations in adaptive outcome of specific defensive behaviors for males and females, given their different social and reproductive role. Given these clear predictions based on the evolutionary theory of sex, it seems reasonable to suppose that behavioral systems related to the way animals cope with stressful or potentially threatening situations, have indeed been a focus of sexual selection and are differently expressed in males and females.

    [–]gwankovera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    That was a very interesting thought process. Thank you for posting it, it will give me a few more things to think about.

    [–]nourathrowway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    The part about wonen not wanting us to solve their problems, and knowing certain problems are entirely weak emotion bs ---- too true. My LTR says this all the time, and (stupidly?) I coerce her to tell me about it, instead of being strong and doing my own thing.

    Do you recommend trying to avoid the complaint/discussion, but somehow cheering her up another way? How?

    [–]Hamilton5M 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    I think it's more that women want someone to listen to their endless emotional complaints and needs, someone who never corrects them or contradicts them.

    Being "emotionless" might be seen as dominance. Even the hardest bitch desires to have someone powerful and dominating. That's what I consider "the surrender"

    They no longer have to worry or feel scared or insecure. They have the alpha male who takes care of the problems.

    Interesting point of view for sure.

    [–]ilovemagicmush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    I dabbled in steroids

    Once my estrogen was really high

    I couldn't control my emotions at all. It was exactly what you said. Like masculinity was pulled from me

    [–]deville05 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Basically they want the opposite or rather, what they dont have. So i guess they are normal. Great post

    [–]d6x1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Not so much unemotional men, but those in control of their emotions and the ability to affect others'.

    [–]trancefiend24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    incredible

    [–]Max998 0 points1 point  (3 children)

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    Studies have definitively shown that women experience anxiety and depression at twice the level men do.

    I'll accept that, but why are suicide rates among men so much higher? What makes depressed men more liable to off themselves than depressed women?

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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    Have you ever seen a pretty homeless girl?

    [–]Max998 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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    Haven't seen too many homeless girls to begin with.

    [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    my point exactly

    [–]partygeit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    Dont ever undestimate depression, it can not be defeated by simply waking up at 6 Am and hitting the gym. Sadly enough there's more To it than that.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    This was fucking fantastic

    [–]1johnnight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    OP, this is easily the Top 3 all time post on this sub, and I somehow missed it! This is sidebar material.

    This is the emotional basis for ALL interactions with women. It encompasses many specific rules, e.g. shit test, frame, etc.

    [–]SadFace959 0 points1 point  (2 children)

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    I often get carried away in my own adrenaline rushes and say stupid, meaningless shit to my teammates(3:1 girl:men). E.g. I have declared an entire week to be "Beanie Week", and then acted on it by wearing a beanie everyday that week. Would this be viewed as letting weak emotions control me or just expressing a hyped up, passionate vibe?

    I have also noticed that I can say essentially nothing to women and just the fact that I am excited from practice transfers to them. Sometimes I worry that they will actually listen to the words.

    [–]kinklianekoff 3 points4 points  (1 child)

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    You caring about how you appear to your female teammates does not sound like a recipe for success in your game nor for getting laid

    [–]SadFace959 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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    Perception is everything. Why settle for being one, when I can be many?

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [deleted]

      [–]SmellyJelly22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      You realize that not all worthwhile ideas can be condensed into 3 sentences, right?