Five months ago I made a post here to remind myself and others about dumping your problems on your girl.
Then I slipped up and paid the price for it.
Shit went wrong, and then more shit went wrong. Two real estate deals went to hell, we moved, kids got sick, wife got sick, wife's family stirred up problems, and we got hit with some unexpected bills. It was a brutal 4-6 weeks.
And every day I had to listen to the wife's fears and insecurities, her questions and hypothetical scenarios about things that hadn't gone wrong yet. She was on the edge of losing it, every damn day.
She was breaking down, and then got sick. The kids got sick at the same time and it felt like the world was done. I worked from home and took care of everyone, and just plowed on.
One morning I woke up and couldn't deal with it. Whichever kid was sick the night before had thrown up in her bed, on the couch, and then in my bed. I got almost no sleep. Had to call out of work at the last minute so I could take the kids to the doctor, again.
So I finally admitted to the wife that I didn't know things were going to get better. Or if they ever would. I felt destroyed mentally and physically and all I wanted was to go to the store for milk and not look back (I obviously didn't verbalize that last part to her).
Can you guess what her response was? Pretty chilly. When I sat on the edge of my vomit stained bed and said I was going to break down, I got the coldest shoulder possible. It didn't matter that I had single-handedly carried the entire family on my back through rivers of shit...she went cold. For the next day and a half she pulled way back, was barely speaking to me. The idea that I wasn't superman scared some part of her and she was already creating mental distance.
I realized what I did pretty quick and got the plan together. "We'll fix problem A by doing steps 1, 2, 3. We can't fix problem B for at least a month, but we'll do 4 and 5 in the meantime..."
And when I hoisted the family back on my shoulder and put one foot in front of the other, things magically got better. The leader was back.
I hate that things are this way, but I accept what is. My problems are mine alone.
TL;DR: Forgot my own advice for a minute and paid the price.