all 143 comments

[–]kanaduhisfruityeh 37 points38 points  (1 child)

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To sum up: women try to betafy their male partners, then, once they've succeeded, lose interest in him and leave/cheat/divorce him.

[–]No_disintegrations 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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Essentially, long term relationships and marriage are just one big shit test.

[–]1kingofpoplives 87 points88 points  (23 children)

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Very nice post. Especially this bit:

The grand irony of this whole thing is that, in acting to secure her mate's long-term commitment by lowering his value, she becomes no longer interested in him as a mate.

It all comes down to power. Women like power, just like all rational actors, especially in relationships. When they don't have the upper hand, they imagine how great things would be if they always got their way.

So they constantly attempt to beta-fy their men, and the weak ones, the ones who don't understand what is happening, believe that by acquiescing to these demands their lives will actually be made easier. This is the core of blue pill, taking literally the adage "happy wife, happy life".

It is a man's job to ensure that the balance of power in a relationship remains stable. This means refusing to appease a woman unless the appeasement is truly justified. It's about leadership. Having authority, without being cold and dictatorial. It is a very fine line that, as the social constraints surrounding sexuality erode, is getting ever more difficult to walk.

[–]mrninja1097 24 points25 points  (17 children)

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Happy wife, happy life is only applicable in a red pill marriage where she's happy pleasing you on your terms.

[–]ChauvOtoo 33 points34 points  (1 child)

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This is the truth. Going back to the oldest teenager in the house, if you give your kids everything they want, they are not happy; they just want more.

If you give your kids boundaries, goals, rewards for good behavior and most of all, keep the authority to steer them towards the good and help them avoid the bad... then they are happy.

A truly happy wife is one that is secure that her man is hers. Knows that he will support her. At the same time, the man is confident of his worth to the family, and prides himself on being the best he can be.

That is what "happy wife, happy life" means. If anyone thinks getting everything you want makes you happy... I don't think anyone told them any of Aesop's fables or King Midas...etc...etc.

[–]fungussa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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Clint Eastwood was the first I'd heard who'd said 'happy wife, happy life'.

[–][deleted]  (13 children)

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[deleted]

    [–]mrninja1097 3 points4 points  (12 children)

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    You wouldn't enjoy a woman who enjoys cooking for you, rubbing your back when you get home, and overall supplementing your human experience and character on a day to day basis?

    [–]HeadingRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    Also this-

    "Because it secures their male's long-term commitment by reducing his options.

    I wish I would have got this 20 years ago.

    [–]SubtleObserver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I gotta say that adage "happy wife, happy life" always rubbed me the wrong way and made me feel uncomfortable when someone says it.

    [–]TheCastle -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

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    On the flip side its also the mans job to appreciate a girl who doesn't abuse this power causing a massive hailstorm cascade of bullshit by refusing to swing the tables too far the other way and oppressing her instead.

    The key word her is balance and maintaining it is key, go too far in either direction causes all kinds of things to go wrong.

    [–]ReefHunter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    And we have a troll. Why are you in this sub? All you comments are so obviously trolling. Get a life.

    [–]Spankedwife 90 points91 points  (39 children)

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    I have said something like this in r/askmen and I got downvoted to all hell. A man asking for advice on his wife who acts exactly this way. I deleted the comment but to paraphrase:

    "Men need their egos massaged, point blank. It's not a bad thing, it's just the truth. The man has to feel like he has the man, even if it's just a facade that both of you know is fake.

    Example: I make more than my husband. When he realized this, I started noticing trend of feeling less worthy and not important as the breadwinner. I made changes to counteract that. I send him out the door with a hot freshly prepared breakfast and lunch for work. When he comes home, he relaxes. I set dinner up, always gourmet and fresh made. Those are the basics. Here is the more important stuff.

    Let's say I want to buy something. A big purchase. I can buy the purchase but then I want to take this time to go the extra mile. ''Babe, I want to buy the thing but I'm not sure. What do you think, hunny bunny? Do you approve?' 'Yea babe go ahead and enjoy' 'Thanks babe'!'

    What I just did right there was several things. -made him feel he is the breadwinner of the household

    -make him feel like he is maker of financial decisons

    -make him feel like he's taking care of me, tapping into a part of the man that feels he wants to be the caretaker

    -penis feels bigger (I'm not lying after a lot of this he has changed)

    -make him confident that he is the head if household and the last word on major spending.

    Men need ego massaging. It's the truth and getting mad at me over it won't change the fact that it's true."

    Anyway this information may sound like it's nothing more than subtle control, but remember that I got this info from Steve Harvey. And it works. I have seen changes. I understand somewhat how men think. They need to be the breadwinner, the provider, the caretaker, etc. they need to feel loved and appreciated. No amount of nagging will work. Stroke that ego.

    Yeah so i got downvoted and a guy said it was insulting. What's insulting is acting like it's not the truth.

    EDIT I dunno just wanted to add this: I don't use my card in public or sometimes I will make a big deal in front of his friends "babe can I have your card pleasseee" just so he can smile and give it to me. It's the same account but he should be able to swing his penis in front of other guys.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 27 points28 points  (18 children)

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    This is good information for any red pill woman to implement in order to keep their men happy and not destroy his self esteem and other qualities that attracted you to him in the first place.

    [–]pleasedontknowme30 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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    Fuck that is right on the money. Even the most beta boy wants to feel he is worthy of his SO's affection, attention, and desire.

    [–]lordofthejelly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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    Even the most beta boy wants to feel he is worthy of his SO's affection, attention, and desire.

    Fuck, even some of the most alpha men among us enjoy that feeling

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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    You asked a bunch of college aged boys with limited relationship experience what their thoughts were about having good wife qualities? Yeah, not surprised by their response.

    Male ego is a funny thing. In a lot of ways a man's worth is directly tied to it. You're smart to promote it.

    [–]Spankedwife 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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    And I learned that after reading book after book that just kept repeating it over and over until it got me. It was a response to a question from a man with a wife who from his account is bitchy and expects him to put up with her because he loves her (her words quoted by him) and he just went on talking about how she spends all their money and doesn't earn anything and the house is filthy, no home cooking, etc. I was just putting that out there thinking that other ladies would read it and get to where I got after reading the books.

    Downvoted and hated on and told that I was insulting. Literally my last line was "it's just being smart" like, men will always think this way weather it's insulting it not. It's just being nice in it's basic form but really like you said, no experience = not surprised at the response

    :/

    [–]_SEEING_RED 4 points5 points  (7 children)

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    What I don't like about this:

    make him feel like he's the breadwinner/head of the household

    Even though he's not.

    [–]1 Endorsed Contributorjsl2837 4 points5 points  (1 child)

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    You're not supposed to like the strategy if you're the beta bux and you saw it for what it was.

    The strategy is effective regardless.

    [–]Spankedwife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    Thank you!!! And again I learned this from a man..no woman will agree with me

    [–]Spankedwife 2 points3 points  (2 children)

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    I mean at least I put all the credit to him. I have literally put tend of thousands of my own earned money to improve our house, and he was the one who decided everything from what to build, color schemes, designed the floor plan. He let me pick the paint colors. I always tell everyone that he was the one who paid and that I am lucky he did it. It's only between us and even then it's unspoken. However he isn't a selfish person he always tells me that he knows where it comes from. I shrug it off and change the subject. It's not worth it.

    [–]xxTin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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    I don't get it, it sounds like you're from US yet how did you come to this mindset? Is it because you were raised in it?

    What is your background, ethnicity? What is your story?

    [–]Spankedwife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    I am from the states but I was raised in a totally secluded Hispanic culture. I grew up speaking Spanish and eating Hispanic food. In the Hispanic culture, women typically feed the mans ego, usually to a fault (like...getting into illegal activity type of fault but that's for other discussions).

    I won't say it's 100% perfect because a lot of resentment builds up and 20 years later you have wives that are shouting at their husbands about how they always have clean clothes available or some nonsense. But as for me, I'm lucky that I married a man outside of my culture so be isn't used to the catering...he appreciates it which means a lot to me.

    [–]ITHOUGHTYOUMENTWEAST 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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    You can be the shit, but if you don't think you are, it won't matter.

    You have to think your the shit. Although I could see him getting satisfied with thinking and not being, its all about baby steps.

    [–]Spankedwife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    This is very true and very smart way of seeing things

    [–]whyalwaysm3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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    Do you have a sister by any chance lol

    [–]Yoda7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    Men still need much less ego boosting than women do. Its more just a human thing.

    [–]ChauvOtoo 1 point2 points  (3 children)

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    The only thing that gave me pause was the idea that you are making him "feel" like he is something he is not.

    For him, it's great; for you, what's the catch?

    I am happy for your husband, but I worry about the day when you decide you are tired of making all this effort. Perhaps finding ways to encourage him to be all the things you are just making him "feel" like he is would make both of you naturally happier?

    [–]Spankedwife 8 points9 points  (2 children)

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    There's no catch. He was there for me when i got out of the military and was suffering from shitty PTSD and anxiety and then I went through a bad depression. Once I got out of it I vowed to make him happy forever because he helped me through a rough time with love.

    [–]SubtleObserver 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    You're alright miss in my book! Cheers.

    [–]6Invalidity 15 points16 points  (4 children)

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    Relationships are challenging because you'll constantly be tested and you will always have to stay on top. If your partner ever stops testing you, she's likely testing the waters.

    Don't expect her to be courteous and give you a heads-up when she is looking though; she wants to swing branches and she won't let go to grab on to another branch until she is quite certain that she has a firm grip on it.

    [–]1aguy01 1 point2 points  (3 children)

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    You think if your girl is suddenly behaving better than usual shes having some kind of affair, emotional or physical?

    [–]6Invalidity 8 points9 points  (1 child)

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    If you haven't done anything different from your ordinary routine, yes absolutely. It's compensation for guilt, "I cheated on my boyfriend/husband, blah blah blah, I'll be a better girlfriend/wife." Or it starts turning into nagging, so something like, "He's not doing enough for me, blah blah blah, I deserve to cheat!"

    I've never really known a woman to "emotionally" cheat. In one way or another, they always want to escalate it physically. Men do have a greater tendency to cheat emotionally though, mostly because they are still physically attracted to their partners but are lacking the empathy from them.

    Anything that deviates from the norm is typically a sign of infidelity. If the norm for your relationship is to eat out and get fat, and your partner (husband or wife) starts working out, they aren't working out to look good for you.

    [–]cooledcannon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    I've never really known a woman to "emotionally" cheat.

    Nearly every time they are with a beta orbiter. Id say its far more common to emotionally than physically cheat for women, and vice versa for men

    [–]Spitfire3534 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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    This happened with my last girlfriend, sadly I spoiled her too much, as soon as she started to spoil me back I took that as us finally relaxing in our relationship. Wrong. She asked me why one of her friends had stopped talking to her, because she had told me she wanted me and I brushed her off. I told her thinking that I would just have a night of being in shit. Wrong again. My girlfriend used this as an excuse to dump me and then curiously four days later started going out with a guy she had been spending a couple days a month with to right a important speech. Moral of the story if she's really into you, she will make it work as much as you do and not go looking around. Second moral if she asks if she can start spending time with a guy to get "work" done you have fucked up.

    [–]Overkillengine 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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    Never negotiate from a position of weakness. You'll have a bad time of it.

    You can afford mercy when you have the upper hand, but only then and rarely.

    [–]colombia40 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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    "Say your girlfriend really rips into you and destroys your self esteem for a whole week. That's an entire week in which:

    It's harder to stay on top of your health. It's harder to kick ass at your job. You're less likely to hit on other women. You're less likely to cheat. You're more likely to stay."

    Solid Points here leftajar. I'm sure most of us can relate to a year or two of this shit. It's no wonder I quickly found a new job after my break-up. Became one of the top in my industry. And got in the best shape in years.

    Often times we don't realize the toll this is taking on our self-esteem and mojo. Next thing you know your asking yourself "Why do I not feel like myself anymore"

    Solid and thanks.

    [–]17 Endorsed ContributorJP_Whoregan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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    You can be relied on to be there.

    Just like her friends. Her female friends. Who she is not attracted to in any sexual way.

    [–]MrAaaanderson 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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    I was out getting coffee with a co-worker yesterday and she told me that the cashier asked her out once but she declined (as she has a BF) She stated that even though he wasn't really attractive, she would consider him as a potential if she were single because

    "The more attractive a guy is, the more I have to worry about other girls coming after him and all the attention would make him confident which would make him cheat."

    ...wow. And my advice of "Be a better bitch." was not well received haha

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (16 children)

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    This is why I'm holding out for a NAWALT or simply never getting in an LTR. I would be so disgusted by having a serious partner who was intentionally trying to make me a worse person.

    There's a new trend out there of young, successful, fit couples. I think having a partner who is seriously into fitness as their own personal hobby is a great way to filter how she'll treat you in the future. It's not perfect, but at least if she has the dedication and willpower to keep in good shape, there's a sign that she's a person who values progress and body health, two critical aspects in any man's life. She'll at least want you to maintain your positive attributes at worst, and improve it at best.

    Of course, you yourself have to be fit (or into fitness) as well since these women hold higher standards from their partners in the first place. Their personality standards for men shift into a territory that most women don't understand. It's a lot more similar to what we expect from them.

    [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (9 children)

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    Many women only work out when they are single or afraid their man is going to leave them. It is endemic that once a woman has a man roped in via marriage that she lets herself get fat.

    The second her man leaves her though, the weight comes off in weeks. I've seen it in the divorce/remarriage cycle with dozens of friends and coworkers.

    So getting a fit girl is no guarantee of her staying a fit girl once she gets comfortable with your relationship.

    [–]TheCastle 16 points17 points  (3 children)

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    Many women only work out when they are single or afraid their man is going to leave them. It is endemic that once a woman has a man roped in via marriage that she lets herself get fat.

    Most girls who are in the upper 8-9 range have learned that their beauty is a high value commodity. They will likely not want to lose that value once it is instilled that they have it too. Its addicting.

    When a man goes to the gym he raises his value in one aspect and is still responsible to make sure he has an income, shelter, transportation.

    When a girl goes to the gym she is working on her health, income, shelter and transportation all in one shot.

    I have wanted to make a diagram explaining this recently. It would show a man and all of the separate things he needs to raise to increase his value. For the girl she raises all of those things by going to the gym.

    [–]2 Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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    Please get to work on this diagram. I am a diagramaholic.

    [–]dongpal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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    let me know when the diagram is finished

    [–]infapwetrust -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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    I write this as a Comment saver that isn't to short and gets deleted

    [–]lilacblaze 11 points12 points  (0 children)

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    Not just women either.

    No shortage of men who get comfortable and start packing on the pounds (or in my case, shedding the muscle).

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

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    I've never been married, but I do know some women who lift as hobbyists or even competitively. They wouldn't quit exercising and eating healthy under any reasonable circumstance. This is mostly because they've been doing it for years and years. When a girl is counting her protein every day, you'll know it's for her and not for you, lol.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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    [deleted]

      [–]BluepillProfessor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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      I saw that last sentence coming a mile away. LOLOLOLZZZ

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      You can't count on the world being here tomorrow. What you can do is play by the best odds possible. Either way, this is all just anecdotal shit. I just think a girl with the hobby of fitness, especially lifting which teaches mental discipline over one's diet through bulking and cutting phases, has better odds of being fit in the long run, and thus progression-minded and less lazy.

      Sorry about your ex girlfriend though. At least you can call her a dicksucker anonymously on the internet, right?

      [–]allcapsisyelling 8 points9 points  (2 children)

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      Women are dream-killers by nature. I hope you are at least prepared for the possibility that AWALT.

      [–]robesta 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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      I would be so disgusted by having a serious partner who was intentionally trying to make me a worse person.

      This behavior isn't intentional. Shit tests at their core are a woman's insecurities subconsciously vomiting up. That's why if you hold frame, shit tests are more uncommon, they're less insecure about you in general. When you're a rock there aren't any questions about how hard you are.

      [–]SubtleObserver 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Could you explain in greater detail what a shit test looks like and what holding your frame looks like? I just can't picture it. Are you basically saying don't give into her petty demands?

      [–]Johntookthepill 4 points5 points  (2 children)

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      Old wisdom from pua forums: The Betaization Process

      [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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      Holy shit: that is epic. Thanks for sharing that.

      [–]_SEEING_RED 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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      That is awesome. A little verbose at the beginning but a great read.

      [–]boogalooshrimp1103 9 points10 points  (9 children)

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      there are a few friends id love to show this post to but im afraid theyre too blind to see it. hell they might even get angry at me for it. happy wife happy life my ass

      [–]Overkillengine 16 points17 points  (2 children)

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      “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde.

      Avoid proselytizing the red pill at all costs in today's society unless you insert it into humor (and know how to work the crowd) or can do it anonymously enough to avoid the backlash from showing people what lies behind the curtain.

      [–]Linoran 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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      Yeah but the question is, will it stick when you use humor?

      [–]Overkillengine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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      As long as you have plausible denial via humor to avoid social consequence and you are handling your own shit...."meh".

      Can't save everyone.

      [–]Sturmgeist781 21 points22 points  (2 children)

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      Law 38: Think as you like, but behave like others.

      Don't show your friends shit. They'll crucify you and call you a misogynist.

      [–]benmarvin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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      Don't tell people they're wrong, just lead by example.

      [–]JohnnK -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

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      Don't show your friends shit. They'll crucify you and call you a misogynist.

      No, they wont. What kind of limp-wristed 'friends' are you running around with? Did your girl set you up with those friends or...?

      [–]1Jaereth 5 points6 points  (1 child)

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      Don't try to introduce your friends to anything you see here. I've tried in the past and have just been ridiculed. Just lead by example and improve your own life. They get jealous after a while.

      [–]DoesNotMatterAnymore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      I'm injecting RP into my friend's veins for months now, he's marriage is failing, she cheated on him. He just wants the equality, he wants 50/50 in his marriage, he knows that he can't have this with his wife. Basically he wants a simple, calm life were both party are happy what they have. Also he I fuckn LASY to take any action.

      [–]Dreamtrain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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      On the same boat but it can't be helped, instead I just laugh at them when they express their lack of freedome over texts they receive and such

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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      [deleted]

        [–]allcapsisyelling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Good point, although what does the SO care at that point. She'd rather you get it elsewhere than have to be the one putting out to a beta. As long as the bux keep rolling in...

        [–]Americandreamin 5 points6 points  (1 child)

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        The only off part about your post is claiming that men who get ball busted are less likely to cheat. The opposite is quite true. Most escorts report that the men who hire them, even the ones who intend on having sex, end up just cuddling or talking to them because they feel alienated at home. Its perfectly possible for a ball-busting woman to drive a man into another woman's arms, and it happens all the time. Another point: we live in this society where people are constantly "checking" one another. Its not a sex thing. For whatever reason we feel like testing other people's toughness, even if we are close to that person and theres no chance of ever fighting with them. I had a friend do it to me once it it was the most awkward thing imaginable. Of course I proved him wrong, but it added a sort of nefarious element to the friendship that caused a lack of trust where there need be none. Some women, especially western women who have a score of daddy issues, constantly "check" their men - intentionally offending, undermining, or insulting them to see if the man will "put them in their place".

        [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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        I didn't say they were less likely to cheat, just that men were more likely to stay in a monogamous relationship. Big difference.

        Those men who use prostitutes don't leave their women. They continue providing. I'm saying, this betaization process creates loyalty in the male by reducing his power to secure another mate.

        [–]krimzinRegret 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        Really drives home the "Men are the gate keepers of commitment".

        [–]calantus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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        The key is to stop giving a fuck about others opinions, but not to let them disrespect you; regardless of who the person is. It really is that simple.

        [–]StarkAtheist 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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        This post has so much philosophical and pragmatic TRUTH in it.

        The more I read posts on TRP... the more I despise women.

        The sex with them is great, but their emotional instability, psychological manipulation, and deceitful feminine/sexual wiles make me want to puke.

        I am SO glad I never got married and divorced.

        I'll stay with sexy friends-with-benefits.

        THANK YOU guys for helping me see past Hollywood's idealistic lies.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        It's okay to hate women for a bit. I did, especially when I realized how much they get away with.

        But eventually, I love them too much. I just want to understand what they really are, so I know what to expect.

        [–]EEvoluzione 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        Just read "way of the superior man" by David Deida. Enough said.

        [–]pleasedontknowme30 1 point2 points  (2 children)

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        I have a question. How do women KNOW how and when to do this shit. I realize most of it is on a subsconscious level..but at no point in my day am I thinking "how can I ruin my wifes day", "how can I give her some shit she doesn't deserve", "how can I make her feel like a piece of shit today". ?????

        [–]Yoda7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Maybe because you arent a psychopathic pos. Not everyone can say that. MAybe not even most people.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        They're programmed to do it, the same way men are programmed to like a good hip:waist ratio. Historically, women couldn't provide for themselves in a harsh world. The betafication behavior serves their need not to starve to death. They need to constantly know that their mate is beta enough to stay, but they always push the beta too far until they're not interested anymore.

        [–]sway_usa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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        Beige Phillip Rule #183882

        A woman falls in love with you for who you are. She'll spend the rest of the relationship trying to turn you into something you are not. If she succeeds, she'll leave you for someone who was like you were when she met you.

        [–]1PaulRivers10 1 point2 points  (6 children)

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        Why do women actively ball-bust and immasculate their boyfriends and husbands? Because it secures their male's long-term commitment by reducing his options.

        Good post. This is true, but I think it's also important to keep in mind that this is not the ideal thing for women to do. I think it's more the "plan b" option - she couldn't get the primarily alpha / secondary beta guy she wanted, so she falls back on "well I'll just make sure he can't date anyone else in order to hold onto him then".

        Women take the "follow" role in relationships. As such, they want 2 competing things from their lead:
        1. A high value lead
        2. Influence over the lead - the ability to get the lead to do things for her or things that are in her best interests

        This is why it's so frieking confusing, both for you and why she doesn't know what she wants either - she wants both a high value lead, and also influence, but high value leads don't give her to much influence. (Also if her goal or your goal is sex and not dating, then influence is a lot less important.)

        She recognizes that high value leads limit her influence over him. So she tries to get that influence - if she gets a little she's happy, but if she gets to much it demonstrates that she has a lot of #2 but diminishes her opinion of #1.

        You also have to keep in mind that women often don't find attractive guys who are genuinely out of their league. They want to move up, but don't go after what they can't get. That's another topic, though.

        When she's looking for sex, #1 becomes the most important. It can get kind of out of control. If she's looking for a relationship, #2 gains importance - and it can also get kind of out of control.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

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        I like that -- leading vs. allowing yourself to be influenced.

        Reminds me a little bit like LTR game: you deliberately inject some beta into your behavior so the woman is able to calm the hell down and feel some measure of relationship security. In other words, the alpha/beta behavior balance.

        [–]Kepaso 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        As such, they want 2 competing things from their lead: 1. A high value lead 2. Influence over the lead - the ability to get the lead to do things for her or things that are in her best interests

        I like this, you have something there. It makes me think of Esther Vilar's ''the manipulated man'' where she claims that women let the men do all the hard work and ''decisions'' while they can rest and enjoy the benefits.

        [–]1PaulRivers10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        I like this, you have something there. It makes me think of Esther Vilar's ''the manipulated man'' where she claims that women let the men do all the hard work and ''decisions'' while they can rest and enjoy the benefits.

        Right - that's exactly the role I'm talking about. The follow gets the benefits from the success of the lead, but gets to sit back and only take on the relatively safe and straightforward tasks, leaving the difficult and dangerous tasks to the lead to do.

        It's a dynamic you'll find everywhere, in many non-gender-related situations, but it's the dynamic of dating. The fact that men are almost universally expected to approach and women are not is one of many examples that illustrate who is the lead and who is the follow in dating relationships.

        [–]1PaulRivers10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        I like that -- leading vs. allowing yourself to be influenced.

        Reminds me a little bit like LTR game: you deliberately inject some beta into your behavior so the woman is able to calm the hell down and feel some measure of relationship security. In other words, the alpha/beta behavior balance.

        Right, that's one way to look at it.

        The way I'm looking at it right now that I personally relate to is like having a boss. My old boss was a fairly smart guy. My new boss rolls over the moment any other department asks him to do anything, and believes pretty much everything they claim. He agrees to stuff like them requesting that one of us stay up for 6 hours from 12pm-6am on Sunday morning so we can check that 2 web pages are up when the other department is done. Rather than doing the obvious thing - saying "here's the 2 web pages you need to check, our department is available to create a list but is not available to be up for 6 hours in the middle of the night for 5 minutes of work that you could do yourself".

        He doesn't have criteria that's more than "does this make someone else happy?". That's it. Then he comes back and tells us we have to do it this way. There's several frameworks he insisted we use that added months of development time onto our project. He doesn't want the other time to be upset at him though - that is his #1 priority is avoiding anyone else having bad emotions.

        Being in the role of having to follow my boss, it's given me real appreciation for why women find behavior like that disgusting and revolting. They're in the same role I am - having committed to following someone else. When that person is an idiot, they find themselves forced to look like an idiot, act like an idiot, and get the results of an idiot.

        It's very different than being the lead - when you're the lead, and you're an idiot, you can correct your own behavior. When you're following an idiot, you don't have that option. You're just helpless. You're being drug along on a stream with no control over where you're going.

        I've honestly developed a real appreciation for why women feel disgust when considering a weak or to-pleasing man for dating.

        [–]zephyrprime -1 points0 points  (1 child)

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        This is soooo wrong. A girl will do this to anyone no matter how alpha he is. Just read shit from the old time alphas like presidents and al capone and you will see what I mean. If anything, a girl is more motivated to do this shit the higher value a man she has because it makes her more insecure.

        [–]1PaulRivers10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        I don't see an argument from you here, I said that it was her backup plan to hold onto a guy. That would lead exactly to her trying to do this to an alpha that she realizes that she cannot exclusively hold onto - presidents, al capone, etc. Once it becomes apparent she cannot get him to give her exclusive access, her back plan to try to make him into something that won't move onto other women because he can't.

        [–]PhaseIV 0 points1 point  (2 children)

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        Just to clarify, a fit test is just holding your ground right?

        [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

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        It's a shit test. I just don't like that language.

        [–]JudgeRedPill 0 points1 point  (1 child)

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        This post makes me wonder if "Everybody Loves Raymond" is the ultimate blue pill example. I really could not stand that wife character of his.

        [–]through_a_ways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        This post makes me wonder if "Everybody Loves Raymond" is the ultimate blue pill example.

        I would only say it's blue pill in the sense that the characters exhibit blue pill behavior, but yet everything ends up working out (red pill result)

        A consistent blue pill example is actually red pill, in a way. Blue pill behavior leads to bad results. That's red pill, because it recognizes reality.

        Red pill behavior leading to good results is also red pill.

        Basically, there's a difference between the blue pill examples where everything gets fucked up in the end, and blue pill examples where everything ends swimmingly. The latter is the offensive one.

        [–]tallwheel 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        So, a shit test could really be called an alpha/beta test. The real purpose of it is to find out whether you are beta or alpha. If your response to the test labels you beta, then she will treat you as a beta provider if that is what she is looking for; and proceed to condition you to have the beta traits she wants in you.

        In some cases, a woman might be open to finding either one of the two if she is older and wants both provision and tingles from two separate men. So, in a way, the alpha/beta test can be a win-win for her.

        [–]1PaulRivers10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        No perfect terminology for it has been developed.

        "shit test" originally came from girls actually giving you shit to test you. Like a girl asking you to hold her purse, if you did you failed, if you wouldn't do it you passed. Or she'd say something nasty to you, if you didn't put up with it you passed, if you put up with it is suggested you were low status and used to being insulted.

        It's true that not all tests are shit tests, but I haven't seen commonly used phrasing that figures it out yet.

        [–]thelotusknyte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        You say handle it like any other fit test. What way would that be?

        [–]LukeMooney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        This is the best post I've read in months.

        [–]3Gf93bMtX3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        from The Betaization Process

        1. Marking Her Territory
          This is the point whereby she solidifies the exclusivity using a few ritual behaviours:

          She will start leaving things in your room, like pieces of jewellery.

        What about gifts? Throw them away or what?

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        Wow that is an excellent post. Maybe the best post ever on TRP. Puts so much into the right perspective.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        Also, it HAS to be this way. I mean it's not called social dynamics for a reason. If it would be static there would be no social improvement and we as a species would not have survived.

        [–]Stupalski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        this all seems to make sense psychologically but theoretically humans should have enough logic to see that this is all just a bunch of stupid games. yeah ok if your girlfriend was a wildebeest she might be impressed by waving your antlers around but when i see humans doing this i just facepalm because it's obvious what they are doing.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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        I feel like for a relationship to work the women needs to feel under constant pressure. Like if she doesn't hold the lid down on the crock pot it's all gonna be over.

        You're a challenge for her, a constant challenge.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        This might be unpopular here, but I'm going to say it.

        Would you not fit test someone who wanted to put their penis in you?

        [–]BluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (5 children)

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        Yes, but only until said penis was a regular inhabitant of my body.

        I don't think any men would CONTINUE and CONTINUE and CONTINUE to shit test for years and years and decades. With women it is a LIFETIME barrage of shit tests, always poking and poking and poking you full of holes as you breathe faster to try to keep up the pressure (and keep your insides from falling out).

        No, men do not and would not behave in this way.

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

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        [deleted]

          [–]BluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (3 children)

          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

          Yah I am having a fight with my wife right now so pardon the vomit. The problem is the Shit Tests don't end from the female side. They just go on vacation for a while. Taking out the garbage is not a shit test. It is a job that needs to be done or you get rats. Please read the sidebar.

          A shit test is a TEST. My wife routinely disrespects me in public by "correcting" some stupid minor factual point while I am telling a story when it makes no difference whatsoever, she will contradict me in front of the kids on a completely pointless issue, she will make snarky and unfunny comments about driving and directions. Should I go on? A shit test is a disrespectful tone or a ridiculous or impossible test just to force you to comply. It is, like the classic and venerable sexual denial nuclear weapon, a POWER PLAY. The tests are little pokes, over and over, year after year. I am constantly on guard, repairing the damage. Filling in the holes in my soul. She's about to lose her loving Beta and get demoted to plate if she doesn't calm the fuck down.

          To answer your question I have heard about HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of relationships in this sub and others. As for myself, in generalities, I was an upper Beta in college and bagged a dozen or so ONS's, had 3 FWB's and managed to slip it (heh) to 4 GF's lasting 3 months, 6 months, 2 years, and 3 years. I got married in graduate school where I have been a faithful Beta bitch for 20+ years until I discovered TRP about a year ago and found enough of my inner Alpha to restart my wife's tingles.

          The sex has improved entirely due to The Red Pill. The shit testing improved but it is still an irritant. I am depressed because I realize it is never going to stop. It will decrease, but it is never going to stop.

          But yah, David Dieda The Way of the Superior Male tries to put a happy spin on this fact.

          [–]Kepaso 0 points1 point  (2 children)

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          wow man, i 'm sorry to say it like this but your wife seems psycho. Of course i don't know her, and maybe in real life she's a good person, but it seems that you chose the wrong type of girl. Like any guys here i had girl's problems, been dumped, and had beta tendencies, but i never had a girl friend who disrespected me like that in private or public.

          [–]BluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

          I only wish she was as easy to replace as a GF. 20+ year marriages with kids are a bit harder to dissolve. I never even noticed the constant disrespect until I unplugged but now I see it all the time and it is an uphill battle against hurricane force winds. I think this is the normal state of affairs between men and women in LTR's. I can't think of many long time married couples where the man is not henpecked, crestfallen, and defeated- and sex? Don't make me laugh! Sexual denial is the go-to strategy for modern woman to maintain her control.

          I am beginning to see more and more every day the old PUA maxim: 'It is easier to cultivate fresh, new, warm pussy than it is to warm up a used up, old, cold pussy.'

          Thanks for the support my brother. It is surprising how just finding somebody in the world who can see my perspective helps so much.

          [–]Kepaso 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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          good luck man. I guess you already know http://marriedmansexlife.com/

          [–]mgmacri -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

          When making a judgement on what is likely to come, ones conclusion must accurately describe ones set of observations. Due to the fact that you are without a data set capable of making a claim of this magnitude. I can't in any way hold what you are saying to be true. Given your limited set of observations, you could only make a claim pertaining to a very limited sampling of the worlds population which are both straight and biologically female. Should you want to better state your argument I endorse you to read this book. http://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=mAjMaRr9d5gC&oi=fnd&pg=PR8&dq=good+reasons+for+better+arguments&ots=WZixfIMYgW&sig=XvkUWzUtkRv_1yZslPvne1J8Lck#v=onepage&q&f=true I in no way support any men's rights movement nor do I subscribe to any perverted definitions of the term feminism. I am a person, I have my own opinions on equality. I say what I hold to be true, and I hold you to do the same.