all 112 comments

[–]mercuryg 221 points222 points  (15 children)

Also as a high SMV island the last thing you want is a whale to wash up on your beach and scare off all the seagulls.

[–]SupaPineapple 61 points62 points  (11 children)

It's funny cuz whales can leave the island too, albeit with more effort.

[–]Ehcadroj 38 points39 points  (10 children)

But what if a whale beaches itself and dies and then attract hundreds of seagulls to scavenge it, like with George Kostanza and his dead wife Susan?

[–]aazav 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Call in the heavy lifting crane and a disposal unit.

[–]SneakyTouchy 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Or pack it full of dynamite.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]87GNX 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I swear I saw this on a Burn Notice episode.

    [–]SneakyTouchy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I don't remember where I saw it, but the flying chunks injured people and destroyed property.

    [–]Draki1903 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's taking the metaphor too far. And Suzan was a seagull.

    [–]chakravanti93 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Tell us how that goes for you, Ahab.

    [–]RickSHAW_Tom 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    But a dead whale attracts many seagulls. Metaphors over.

    [–]1TVTestPattern 303 points304 points  (6 children)

    "Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine."

    [–]ScottishIslander 41 points42 points  (2 children)

    This needs more upvotes! Mine!

    [–]Operahat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    One of, if not the best, allegory of womyn right here.

    [–]fasterpussycatdie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    LOL I played this and my wife and daughter overheard it. They started chanting along with the seagulls! OMG if they only knew..

    [–]_trp 45 points46 points  (3 children)

    Also seaguls flock. If a seagul sees another seagul sat on the island, it must be habitable.

    [–]RedPillProphet 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Was going to comment exactly this. You will never see a nice healthy seagull hanging out by itself on an island. Its none or an unlimited supply.

    Sadly I am a barren frozen arctic rock.

    [–]angry--napkin 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Every noticed how two seconds after you LTR plates fall from the skies?

    [–]Dark triad expert: - - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 127 points128 points  (6 children)

    Bitches squawk a lot too so this makes perfect sense for an extended metaphor. This is is too brilliant.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 49 points50 points  (4 children)

    Dude, they sure fuckin' do. They also have a tendency to shit all over the place. (metaphorically speaking)

    [–]redpillisfakeandgay 46 points47 points  (1 child)

    And they always think they're entitled to the fries on my plate.

    [–]cbnyc0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'm sure you've seen what they do to a bathroom sink and the surrounding counter. So unnecessary.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    [–]ioncloud9 64 points65 points  (5 children)

    Its a magic seagull too, with the uncanny ability to take half the island with it when it decides to leave.

    [–]BlackFallout 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    Only if you put a ring on it.

    [–]Trosso 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    And that ring was worth half of your island in the first place too, leaving you with zilch.

    [–]PlebDestroyer 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    That was so incredible, made my day. Have a point ♂.

    [–]Upvote Me!trpbot[M] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    You cannot award OP a point because you are not an Endorsed Contributor or your point score is below 5.

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    [–]HAMMURABl 44 points45 points  (9 children)

    nice metaphor. you don't move an island for a seagull.

    [–][deleted]  (6 children)


      [–]dandeezy 18 points19 points  (5 children)

      something they can perch on... and digest their food, relax their wings.

      holy shit, OP I can't find anything wrong with your analogy. somebody counter...

      [–]Kunichi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Self made palmboat and 100 % chance to sunk after one day and eaten by sharks. Seagullswill just fly around you while you get eaten and say "Awwwww cute"

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]dandeezy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        in the case, staying on one island is mating. if you're looking for penis/vagina analogy, then no they don't. lol

        [–]HiddenDeathArt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        And yet still ON the island.

        • HDA

        [–]WhenDisasterStruck -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        This is also an extension & variation of the bird and the hand relationship positions

        [–]quirkofalltrades -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        Could not have put it better myself

        [–]MrRexels 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        They also love to shit on you for no apparent reason.

        [–]walkoffhr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        But seagulls shit all over everything.

        [–]Endorsed Contributor30303030303030 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        Super-high SMV guys are rapping about it.

        Motherfuckers, but just imagine how their lives are, they can have every single woman they pass on the street, most will go out of their way to get fucked by them. Fact that Chris Brown beaten up Rhianna only made him more attractive to women.

        I remember an interview with Joe Pantoliano, an actor who played Ralphie Cifaretto in "Sopranos". In one episode he beats a stripper to death and it was pretty upsetting for the audience. He talks about that scene and ends it with (quoting from memory) "Women started to flirt with me more after that episode. It's very telling..."

        And no, before you wet your seats, I'm not advising beating women bluepill idiots.

        Anyway, good post.

        edit: part of the interview I was talking about:

        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        For future reference, you don't need to explain yourself. Displaying Dark Triad traits are self-explanatory once most RPers have read the sidebar.

        Blue pillers will use their hamster to justify all sorts of "bigotry." You can't reason someone into a position they haven't been logically reasoned into.

        [–]karmacrunch 29 points30 points  (9 children)

        "But she ain’t have her ringer nor her ring on last night, oh" - Married women still want their

        "Why give a bitch your heart When she rather have a purse?"

        • Beta bux wanted

        "You know how the game goes She be mine by half time, I’m the shit, oh Nigga, that’s that nerve"

        • Girls want dark triad traits. see: narcissim.

        "Just got rich Took a broke nigga’s bitch"

        • hypergamy

        "You done spent your bread on her And it’s all for nothing"

        • alpha fucks, beta buxs

        "I wasn't born last night I know these hoes ain’t right"

        • I'm red pill

        [–]db325 7 points8 points  (3 children)

        And they say this music is degrading to women. If degrading means telling the truth then by all means yes, it is degrading. Hypergamy doesn't care.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

        Women degrade themselves through their own behavior. Men just observe and identify it.

        [–]life_manager 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        "They" will say anything if it serves their purpose. Trust your own instinct.

        [–]chakravanti93 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        The truth is only degrading if shit was overrated to begin with.

        [–]synpse 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        these princesses ain't royal. such disappointment.

        [–]MickeyRoarick 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        I wish redpill had a way of submitting music and other media that are good examples. Maybe we already can, not sure.

        [–]TheSKSpecial 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        There are a couple subs, TRPOffTopic and RedPillMusic.

        [–]heeb 9 points10 points  (2 children)

        "A winter's day In a deep and dark December;

        I am alone,

        Gazing from my window to the streets below

        On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

        I am a rock, I am an island.

        I've built walls, A fortress deep and mighty,

        That none may penetrate.

        I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.

        It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

        I am a rock, I am an island.

        Don't talk of love, But I've heard the words before;

        It's sleeping in my memory.

        I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.

        If I never loved I never would have cried.

        I am a rock, I am an island.

        I have my books and my poetry to protect me;

        I am shielded in my armor,

        Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.

        I touch no one and no one touches me.

        I am a rock, I am an island.

        And a rock feels no pain;

        And an island never cries.."

        [–]BluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Beat me to it. I listened to Paul Simon quite a bit when I was unplugging.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Upvote for Paul Simon.

        my fav:

        [–]1 Endorsed Contributorjsl2837 22 points23 points  (2 children)


        Is this why Englishmen call a sexy girl a "bird"?

        A bird can fly, but not a "chick". (Well, not very far.)

        Perhaps it shows the English are more aware of hypergamy than the Americans.

        Or perhaps the Americans mean to say that chicks eventually turn into big fat chickens that cluck all day and peck the hand that feeds them.

        [last lines]

        Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.

        -- 'Annie Hall' (1977)

        [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

        Yep. It's the same reason why we call guys, "cats."

        [–]chakravanti93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        The ones that fuck but are actually worthless pussies, anyway.

        [–]2asd1100 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        That sounds like a great metaphor for a blue piller, give them reasons to stay. You are unable to move or reject.

        [–]angry--napkin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        All kinds of shit just clicked.

        [–]NewtonianCooking 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        All this work for some lousy seagulls? Island going its own way coming through!

        [–]ScottishIslander 16 points17 points  (4 children)

        Btw, do you lift yet? You should go do that.


        Brilliant metaphor dude.

        [–]cuntbh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        I note that your username is also a good metaphor in the context of this post.

        [–]aazav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        No metaphor. Just basic instruction.

        [–]PlebDestroyer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Strong username to understanding of literary devices ratio.

        edit: After coming back to this post, I realize that scottish people should understand literary devices, so my comment made no sense.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


          [–]Operahat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Ah, Dr. Jimes Tooper made it to TRP. My life feels complete. For your health!

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          And remember that you can have multiple seagulls on your island at one time ;)

          [–]bakbakgoesherthroat 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          What saving grace do women have?

          [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

          They give you children.

          Also, MGTOW is lonely as fuck.

          [–]MikeyCSGO 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Have you ever had sex with a woman?

          [–]16 Endorsed Contributorss_camaro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          The Brits have been calling them (b)urds ever since flighty went vernacular [16th cent., Oxford].

          [–]Endorsed ContributorRS73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Just don't be the statue for the seagull - sat on and crapped all over.

          [–]dreauxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I dig this metaphor! Except I'd like to be an island that moves. Nothing stops me from going where my mark is NOT EVEN GEOGRAPHY!

          [–]leaffur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Whoa, thinking about not lifting is pretty crazy. That "Btw" reminded me that there are people here who don't do that

          [–]JohannFriedl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway, I am not your carpet ride, I am the sky

          [–]squirrelcuisine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Nice analogy. I have been eyeballing this thread for a while and thinking about it.

          That seagull will stay too if her baby seagulls like the place too it anchors her (something to think about)

          Oh yeah and pick the seagull that isnt materialistic and you will never run out of stuff for her. Man did I really learn this lesson the hard way back in the day when I was dating a never ending slew of who I thought I was attracted to. Italian American Princesses whose daddies catered to EVERY whim. I really thought i would end up with one of them.

          [–]othereal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          So true. I feel like this can be very true of many women. Not all women are this way (thank gods), but most are.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 Also it has been in rap music for quite some time now, this song is from an album that was released in 2002, rap has always been full of uncensored truths

          [–]spaceman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Well yes are you buying or are you selling?

          If you are selling you better have value.

          [–]jamesez501 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          "Myyyyyy Nigga". This is very true, I like your analogy. Yes I do lift, going to get it in later thank you my comrade.

          [–]NikolaTeslaMGTOW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I have an analogy. Its called capitalism and the buyer and seller........

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          LOOOL, this is fucking brilliant. Have an upvote

          [–]switchme808 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Some off-topic stuff I noticed:

          [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Whoa, didn't notice the bear. How random.

          Dude, I thought the same thing. At the end, he's basically doing the same moves as the pro dance accompaniment, while lip-synching. Impressive shit.

          [–]Alzapua -1 points0 points  (3 children)

          So being an island, does this also mean I don't need to approach seagulls?

          [–]BluepillProfessor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          You need to attract seagulls if you want seagulls on your island and the way to attract them is to approach fearlessly...analogy fails a little bit there but only a little.

          [–]1johnnight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          At a high enough level of attractiveness/social status you just get approached. Either be a male model, super jacked or a rock star. Everyone else needs to approach.

          [–]cuntbh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It means that rather than saying "come to my island", you just be your awesome island, as such.

          Rather than being beta with pick up, be alpha.

          [–]dominant_driver -1 points0 points  (1 child)

          If you work to 'make the island a place where seagulls would really want to hang out', wouldn't that make you a beta?

          [–]1cover20 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

          What a bad way to look at it. You're helpless. Provide better than the next man and hope to attract a woman. Lift more and build muscles in the hope she likes that.

          It completely ignores the fact that women aren't so independent. Decent women bond to you, when you do things right. (Don't trust the sluts who have overcome that bonding mechanism.) Women are partially controlled by their sexual impulses. You, as a man, are able to stimulate those reactions in a woman.

          This sub is so full of wrongheadedness.

          [–]1 Endorsed ContributorMeatclap -5 points-4 points  (6 children)

          If your island really kicks ass, the seagull might stay there forever.

          Um, no.

          Seagulls can fly. They're designed for it. If they catch whiff of a better island, and they think they can make the journey, they'll go. Period.


          Sort of odd to include a contradiction like that, especially when one deals with being a false ideal. The former seems to dismiss the inherent societally programmed hypergamous nature, the latter making it clear hypergamy is still a problem.

          Btw, do you lift yet? You should go do that. Yes, have been for four years. The trick of it though, is that a lot of women rest on the idea that they will have their teen-aged bodies forever so they eat like crap and rarely lift a thing. What we get are a lot of guys in good or better shape at 30+ while most women at 30+ are sloppy, flabby, usually obese.

          Guess my point is physical fitness is not a real factor in dating or TRP, that's just self-care. Don't expect the ladies to put in that kind of effort in a world with magic bras and L'Oreal to lift and conceal the shit they never bothered actually working on.

          [–]Icecoffee965 7 points8 points  (5 children)

          physical fitness is not a real factor in dating

          really? Most of the time, your fitness directly improves your SMV by making you look younger, more lively, and confident.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          ....and ability to fuck better....