As someone who's been here awhile, I want to help newbies out and steer them in the right direction. One of the most common sentiments I see here by newbies is on the topic of anger.
There's been a few posts arguing how the anger phase of swallowing TRP is necessary. Ok, fair enough. It's what the anger phase leads to is what I want to talk about today.
MGTOW or "Combative opt-outers"
There is an underlying movement (not just among TRP but the Internet and confused young men in general) that buys into the idea that "masculinity is divisive". They themselves have been on the short end of the stick with regards to sex, success, status, etc. They don't like their current positions (who would blame them?).
So what happens? They look at those more successful than them in the sexual/life marketplace. Instead of emulating alpha men and doing what is required to be successful (lift & make economic decisions that don't involve a liberal arts degree), they try to redefine success as not-success by making it seem like their failure & shortcomings were a conscious decision and therefore demand acceptance.
Thus, any and all negative things now become positive:
"Nah bro, I'm MGTOW. Men who spend any effort to have sex with women are simply bowing to women!"
"Yeah she kinda ditched me for that buffer dude...but fuck her! True alphas don't care and I certainly don't care at all!"
Uhh, what? These are safety mechanisms. They FEEL GOOD. But they deny the harsh reality that is the sexual marketplace: either improve your SMV factors or be alone. You don't get to redefine "alpha" as some lone wolf who literally no one likes being around, just as long has he "accepts himself" or some bullshit. And you don't get to demand that women like/fuck you when you obviously are not as good as another more attractive man.
In other words, Masculinity itself is divisive. It is exclusive. It is a crucible in which men are purified. No matter how much society hamsters that "success = accepting everyone!", real men know that dominance is the hallmark of all great men (as well as the hallmark of all great leaders that men want to follow and women want to fuck).
The comforting arms of mediocrity
The above section focused on men who actually do self-reflect on SMV, yet come to a "throw your hands up in the air and walk away" conclusion. Here, I want to focus on a trap many MORE men are falling into.
Cue entitlement: Today's society has this idiotic idea that literally everyone is a special snowflake and deserves a pat on the back + appreciation. Further, it is all based on one thing: criticism means excluding people from certain benefits, which is off-limits.
This is great news to the bottom 80% of men. Now, FINALLY, they can be attractive/alpha/included/special/cool too. Why buy into traditional masculinity and work hard when you can be lazy/unattractive and claim manliness as well? What a great deal!
This is a huge problem I am seeing these days. So I want to draw attention to it. Here's a few examples from the article of what a disenfranchised man might see and buy into:
No, there’s nothing wrong with masculinity – until it’s used as a gauge for measuring and excluding people, whether they’re women or other men, or people who don’t identify as either.
Since when does masculinity include people who literally AREN'T men? I don't even understand this. All I know is there's a problem when literal scientific labels are now deemed as "exclusive".
Regardless of whether masculinity appeals to you, either as something to embody or to simply admire in others, understand that it’s purely a matter of personal taste ...
A matter of personal taste? Sorry, but you can't opt out of gender. You either have a penis or a vagina (apologies to our hermaphrodite lurkers).
Don't take away my success at being a man just because manhood doesn't appeal to you. Go be alone and be quiet in the corner if you want nothing to do with manhood. I won't bother you, I promise...yet somehow I know you're not going to shut up, are you?
Get good grades and make some friends, but don’t worry about being cool...Failing to “fit in” at school is a good thing (next to photo of a boy wearing a skirt...sigh)
How about get good grades, make friends, AND be cool? That sounds a lot better to me. Why shame men who actually WANT to be cool and be sexual? For many men, that is how we define ourselves.
And let's call a spade a spade. Failing to fit in = failing to fit in. Period. You don't call the loser of a game the "2nd winner". You don't call a social loser "a solitude winner" or some bullshit.
young men need to understand as early in their lives as possible that men have a long history of getting their way for no good reason. This advantage comes, of course, at the expense of fellow human beings, and we need to learn to be aware of it and eliminate it wherever we see it.
For no good reason? Men also have a long history of having a shorter lifespan, building civilizations, maintaining armies, and making scientific discoveries. If women were just as effective (or more effective) leaders, then there would be more.
And let's not do anything at the "expense" of fellow human beings! What terrible advice. Survival (especially financial survival) is all about taking value and opportunities away from others. If that truth is lost on you, then you've been sheltered.
TL;DR It is easy and comforting to opt-out of sexual pursuit. It is easy to re-define masculinity as something that is soft. Beta men will try to do this so they can now be successful. Feminists will try to do this in order to keep beta men away & hamster away their alpha tingles. But while the idea of traditional masculinity IS under fire, it is as strong as ever. It's simply more covert now, which is why posts like these drawing attention to it are needed.