all 123 comments

[–]joaquim56 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Women might say they want the open sensitive new age guy, but they rarely act that way.

They want intrigue, they want drama, they don't want to figure you out.

During my beta orbiter days, I heard many stories of women just getting bored by guys. Women want a challenge. If you spill everything, she doesn't have to work for it.

There's a reason the dark, tall, and mysterious archetype exists.

Men could care less of having mysterious mates. We actually like vulnerability from women since it shows femininity.

[–]aBitClearer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

On OKC, so many women say they want their date to be "dark and mysterious". I selected "wholesome". Wondering where that's gonna get me, being that I live in California.

[–]1tizenkotoko 90 points91 points  (15 children)

This is good information and I'd like to expand on the idea of only giving away bits and pieces at a time.

Information, like currency, has value. Treat your personal information as such. If you are freely giving away information about yourself to anyone and everyone, this information holds very little value to the people that receive it.

Inversely, if you pick and choose a select person or group of people to share things about yourself with, that information is understood to be more rarely available, and valued as such.

[–]gimmetrp 9 points10 points  (1 child)

This. I've been mulling on a similar idea for a few years now.

I've found I don't like people (male or female) who are information whores. They'll tell you something in a very excited manner as if you specifically were the sole being in the universe meant for the story... and you overhear them ten minutes later telling it again to somebody else in the same fashion.

In response I've come to not tell the same story to people in the same group. This makes the person I told it to feel important, garnering their respect.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[deleted]

    [–]fiat_lux_ 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    And also keep in mind the indirect ways this can work. Your point about dhv and dlv might work badly for a guy that is too obvious. E.g. A guy that is too obviously DHV for himself will come off as humblebragging or just plain bragging... And that can actually be seen as DLV.

    That's why it helps to have a great wingman who is also a good friend. Even if people catch on that he's a wingman, it still says a lot that someone is willing to put their own time, effort, and dignity into helping the subject out. It's DHV in almost every way direct and indirect.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      cue SNL Bill Braskey skits

      [–]BloodyPhallus 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Yes, at the top, DLV and DHV can swap. How much you can purposefully handicap yourself without negative blowback is a sign of status in and of itself.

      [–]fiat_lux_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      A perfect examples of the swap you're talking about is with the Red Sneakers Effect.

      http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-leadership/wp/2013/11/25/the-red-sneaker-effect/

      [–]tits_out_forTheBoys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This goes along the lines of "caffeinating the hamster."

      Gentlemen, you must jealously guard your right to non-disclosure. Let her "figure you out" by using her mythical female intuition. By doing so, you'll have stimulated her imagination, and she'll be thirsting to fuck your brains out.

      [–]NikolaTeslaMGTOW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Its not just that, its validation seeking, its needy. I need you to know my life and I need you to approve. People lie like fuck especially to women to frame things like they are really cool or great. This just means they are bigger faggots really.

      I never lie but I tell people that if they want intimacy from me they need to earn it in so many words. I told my bitch cousin this recently, she wanted me to tell her stuff but I told her she has to earn it and prove to me she has value because its none of her fucking business and she was so mad and kept trying to get it out of me, she was pretty before so she is prob used to it, she was so mad I wouldn't tell her, she just felt entitled and kept demanding I tell her things. I know she respects me now though.

      I do this to everyone though, some girl was trying to size me up recently, like to see if I am good enough to fuck her, like looking for reasons, I didn't use the word intimacy with any girl I am trying to fuck but she was really grilling me for my interests and passions because she was really attracted to me but I told her no, you wouldn't understand and you have to basically earn that stuff, and it just made her want me more. Like I let her know a little bit, like showed how smart I am which she said to me "you are really smart" but I just ignored it because I ignore all validation, like I know I am smart, I don't fucking need you to tell me, and because I was discussing something I was passionate about I may have come off as a little needy like trying to demonstrate value by showing I am smart so this neutralizes that or moves it in my favor if that was even the case. But basically I told her I had passion's that amount to "thinking" without actually telling her any of it.

      So yeh, keep the book closed, maybe talk a little bit about one passion you have, and leave the rest, but don't do it in a needy way. I don't think I came off as needy b/c the info was to help her out in a non thirsty way.

      Also make sure you speak your mind and opinions, don't hold back, don't lose frame. You don't have to share a lot but you can intellectually dominate most women really easily, usually they shit test you with stuff and you just dominate them to pass it or ignore it because it isn't worth your time to answer.

      Edit 1:

      Thought of another story, some woman was trying to get me to tell her what I have been up to and I only responded with "makin bacon", because I just made bacon. Amused mastery, being cocky with that shit eating grin and her and her friend kept trying to ask me but I refused. I was also teasing her about her food and how I eat bacon all day and stay healthy.

      [–]dancingwithcats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is true in all aspects of life. A lot of TRP philosophy applies to business as well as pleasure. There is a time to share and a time to give it out in little bits.

      [–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      Great thread OP. Always say less than necessary. Having a sense of humour is good for deflecting and making diversions. Any information you reveal, like OP says, make 'em work for it and value it and really invest to get it. This is subtextually a way of communicating that you are superior to her. Which of course, she will find attractive, hypergamous as they are.

      [–]1Jaereth 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      This is good advice for everything, not just your SMV.

      The philosophers were not just on some bullshit when they would discuss how knowledge is power. At work, co-workers/bosses can't form opinions about your personal life if they don't know anything about it. I play guitar in a rock cover band but I don't ever tell anyone about that at work.

      You'll have almost nothing to gain by letting people know personal stuff about you. You do stand to lose though.

      [–]2emptyform 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      This is overly simplistic and conservative. Letting interesting stories and things about you come out in natural conversation flows can often pique the curiosity of people, add extra mystery and dimension to you, confound a person's preconceptions of you and make them want to know more about you, and build rapport if it mirrors their tastes, sensibilities or interests.

      [–]1tombreck2 31 points32 points  (15 children)

      I always like to see how long I can go without telling a girl what I do for work. Currently been spinning a plate for 6 months and she doesn't even bother asking anymore.

      [–]the10thrider 25 points26 points  (5 children)

      I usually tell people I'm an illegal street racer or I sell counterfeit automotive parts.

      Basically Dom from The Fast & The Furious.

      [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (4 children)

      Im building a shop, work on old cars. They think 90s crap boxes until they see my 70 GTO.

      [–]the10thrider 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      Nice car, 65-67 black droptop is one of my dream cars.

      Unfortunately women judge you on your car and profession. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I would like someone to judge me on my personality and character too.... HAHAHHAHA

      I usually joke and tell them I work in the "auto industry" or some bullshit also. Otherwise the first thing that come out of their mouths is usually, "Can you get me a deal on a SL convertible?"

      A lot of the time I even tell them I don't even have a car. (Since I usually ride everywhere.) although before I was married I avoided the question because usually the true answer would be a Mercedes/Lexus/Jaguar/Ferrari/etc.l

      The feeling of defeat when you tell a girl and she just immediately looks at you like you're a free ride or a piggy bank. That must be how women feel when men only treat them like "sex objects". One girl even commented as she was riding around with me in a 360 Spyder, "well it's nice... But I'd like you better if you riced it out..." I almost kicked her out right then and there.

      And how again is my Spyder not a "sex object"? My eyes are over here Babe.

      [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      I have a 65 GTO too, but I like hardtops. Right now its set up as a cruiser, the 70 is a mileage mule for my ethanol project. I have lots of cars and trucks, as old as 1932 and the newest is 01, but most are 79 or older with a big pile of 70-72s.

      I've found that with exotics you get gold diggers, they want your wallet and see you as an ATM. I get that a little bit with my red shiny one, but not like a Spyder or F355 would. The girls that notice me like sinister looking stuff, doesn't have to be nice, not even a little bit. Rat rods, violent high power street machines that are barely muffled, no interior crap paint thrill rides with 500+ HP. They want to have fun, get scared, and the violence and power make them wet. If it can flatten her tits against her chest, or make them climb over her shoulders, she loves it.

      My next sinister ride is a 68 LeMans, will probably end up satin black like the Punisher GTO, and have way too much power as in 700+ unless I throw some turbos on it and make over 1000. I build these cars for me, but they make it incredibly easy to get laid. Chicks seem to dig these more, old, young, bad, good, doesn't matter. However, don't get one thinking its a magic bullet, if it doesn't look and sound right, and you cant keep it running, its worthless. I can rebuild anything, so this is fun to me.

      My cars mean more than bitches ever will, and they have been with me far longer. I've had the first one since 1982, and despite being cool, it doesn't attract women for shit. Its a first year Cougar, bright red with a black interior. Formula Firebirds and GTOs are way better than a Cougar, but I love that thing.

      [–]the10thrider 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      That's exactly what I'm saying, if you want sex appeal don't get a modern exotic. Cousin of mine, coolest character alive, driving around a 68 Z/28 in candy orange around. Women should know that it's sexy when they can also drive four on the floor.

      Why I practically sold all of my cars (not enough space). What's the point of going 150mph if it's not on a track? My Ferrari dreams stopped there. Probably going to sell the super bikes because I have no time to ride them either.

      That look though. When you're sitting in a convertible on the beach and women are looking at you, "that man can take care of me". The struggles of being a man.

      [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      They hate us and think its easy because we make it look easy.

      I'm keeping the cars, living in the woods gives me space. I like having the power, knowing its there if I need it, and cruising around making noise. Its like the muscle I have, no need to prove anything, I know what I can do. I've driven fast on tracks, Bahn 3 and 5, and on 7th ring in Kuwait. I've gone 140+ on a lonely stretch of Nebraska highway in one of my cars back in 88. I've done it, don't have as much urge to do it all the time, but once in a while... Knowing I can is enough, its my confidence. Fuck with me you better have enough, if you don't I will openly laugh at you.

      [–]tsudonimh 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      "I'm a problem solver." "What kind of problems?" "The kind that require non-disclosure agreements."

      [–]cosmic_meatball 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I've started saying stupid things, like Robert Downey Jr. in "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang":

      "I'm retired. I invented dice when I was a kid."

      It kind of reinforces what tombreck2 said further down, if she really likes you, she won't care what you do for work. If she cares that much, she's probably looking for BB.

      EDIT

      I guess as a conversation piece, if you do something really interesting, you should obviously tell her. But if you have a boring/mundane job like me, I see no reason.

      [–]fyseaking 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      Same, and I got to this point within a couple of days. Though I did shut her down hard so figures. I wonder if this kills their interest though.

      [–]1tombreck2 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      If a girl likes you then she won't care what you do. Telling her will accomplish nothing

      [–]cognitions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'm convinced wealth disclosure can have only two results: assigned to provider if wealth is high or moderate, or kicked to the curb if low. There's no alpha outcome.

      [–]mikevonline 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      What do you say to make that happen?

      Do you just say "I don't wanna talk about this"? Do you go "No concern of yours"? Or do you go balls deep and play the cool/enigmatic/aloof action movie character and just stare at her blankly in dead silence until she changes subjects?

      [–]fyseaking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I told her "I'm not at liberty to say; you know, secret government stuff". She kept asking and I kept amplifying. "If I told you, you'd have to go into protective custody".

      Until it got so ridiculous and she gave up. I had fun coming up with this stuff so don't feel pressured to answer, have some fun with it. Though she still hinted at what I did for work the next day, but since she didn't ask directly I didn't acknowledge the comment. Hasn't come up since.

      [–]smokingmonkey420 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      I've come to the conclusion that about 99% of the people that I talk to don't give a shit about me or what I have to say. So I just hear the conversation towards them. It's usually better that way.

      [–]aazav 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Yea. Yes. Yes. Yes.

      You do not need to break her expectation of you. This pulls her in. She is thinking, "that guy. He is so confident. Not working for attention. I want to find out more about that."

      It makes you the bait that reels her in.

      Don't forget to keep your responses short. The silence makes her work for your attention and all the time her mind is hamstering about what is going on in yours and forces her to work for you and your attention.

      Stay quiet. Let her do the work.

      [–]AgathaRing 7 points8 points  (14 children)

      Can you give some examples?

      A woman asks "So what do you do for a living?"

      Assuming you reply with a joke like "I'm a professional chess player" or something, what happens if she keeps pushing you for information?

      Do you eventually just straight-up say "I'm not telling you"?

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Sometimes they corner your attempts to deflect. Oftentimes it's fun to hold out and watch their hamster rage, but it can eventually wear them out if you do it too much.

      Regarding the job question, you can eventually own up, but say it dismissively. Segue into what you'd rather do, or intend to do. Make it clear your job is not your identity.

      "Yeah, I do some computer stuff for a living. Saving up, going to start my own business/launch my band/travel the world without a care"

      You want to limit the amount of direct answers you give. Tiny bites can work as a reward system if you dole it out appropriately.

      [–]ryno55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      On the contrary, once you tell her your job, be proud of yourself. You work hard for it. Don't downplay it. She wants you to be important.

      Unless your job really sucks, I suppose you might want to play it off.

      [–]imaRPman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      If you're having a conversation and you act evasive it appears you have some weird chip on your shoulder. Asking someone what they do or if they have kids is just a normal conversation and does not imply that they even care.

      I work in IT and i say "i work in computers". If you drive a bus say you work in transportation.

      Now you can be funny "Are you from the IRS, FBI or DEA?"

      [–]PFN_LIST_FUCKED 3 points4 points  (7 children)

      what happens if she keeps pushing you for information?

      My one anecdote about that is they may yell at you for not being truthful and throw a tantrum. I told her I was a professional artist, which segued into, "It's just a front for being a jewel thief." I was being a dick about it, but I suspected she was looking for an allowance. I asked her why it was important. She reiterated, "Just tell me what you do," a third or fourth time. I walked away. We still talk once in a while. It doesn't make it past pleasantries though.

      Change the subject. I've talked to plenty of other people where the conversation never gets to that topic, or they take my joke at face value and refer back to it as a joke. I'm suspicious if a woman needs to know exactly what I do for a living. For men, I hope they're in a position we can make a mutually beneficial agreement of some sort, but it usually turns into us bullshitting about job details and learning about each other's industries.

      [–]AgathaRing 5 points6 points  (6 children)

      I appreciate the anecdote but if you drove her away, it's not exactly what I'm looking for.

      This post is implying that you raise your SMV by withholding information, and that women value a man who chooses to only give out personal information to special people in his life.

      So I'm looking for ways that one can respond to personal questions without making the situation uncomfortable, or hostile, while making yourself more attractive.

      I agree with the post overall, I just feel like it's easier to say "be a closed book" than to actually execute that successfully.

      [–]systemshock869 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      How about this: "Why, am I under interrogation?" with a smirk. It deflects the question playfully, puts it on her to answer a question, and shows that you aren't jumping to answer her every request, in a lighthearted way. You can keep playing it off however you want - "I'm a mammogram expert," "It's top secret," etc. Or you could be really general. "I'm in the auto industry." This response means you could be a mechanic, salesman, engineer, graphics designer, who knows. Purposefully vague.

      With that said, it's not like your career really is a top secret bit of info that you don't want to let go of. You may just tell her straight up and that's the end of it. Your job is a pretty standard topic of conversation when getting to know a girl, and protecting that info could easily come off as strange. Not everything posted here on TRP is applicable to everyone all the time. Guard your info but don't sweat it too much.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorfluviant[S] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      without making the situation uncomfortable

      Change your thought process on this. Revel in the awkwardness. One way to display social dominance is by being able to persevere in situations of perceived awkwardness or uncomfortability. If she asks, you could literally just stare at her, hold strong eye contact, and build up the awkward tension until she breaks and changes the subject. Once she folds, you have shown her that she is submissive to you/your frame.

      [–]gokurakumaru 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      In my experience awkward conversations with women you just met make them walk away. If she asks you a question and you just stare at her the only thing she's going to take away from that is you're weird and uncomfortable to be around.

      Obviously if she's already into you she won't walk away, but this isn't really useful advice for cold approaches because by definition they aren't already into you.

      [–]Philhelm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Tell her that you're in the Witness Protection Program and that you have to keep your employment a secret for now.

      [–]WillClickOnAnything 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I haven't yet decided what I want to do when I grow up [I'm in my 40s], currently I'm leaning towards astronaut and/or fireman. I'm still trying to find myself.

      [–]EBONICSmajor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      At a party a while back this 6/10 girl asked me what I do for a living. I told her "school principal" with a shit eating grin and turned back over my buddy. She whispered in my ear "and I'm a naughty school girl" - man that was a fun night..

      The point is see this as your own screening test. If she's interested you'll know, if shes a slut she'll fuck you straight up. It's win-win.

      edit: I should add if she isn't interested in the end you saved a lot of your time. Either way my point still stands.

      [–]Devvils 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I told my close relatives how much I was earning. Sure enough my unemployed sister weasels her way into wanting this and that and I should pay for it. I have since learned NOT to talk about finances with anybody I can't trust.

      [–]a2abfcd4 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      A part of taking the Red Pill is learning to appreciate shitty behavior from ever-beta-validated women because it gives you an opportunity to shut her off with your frame and easily be perceived as 'alpha' in the SMP. It's like you have magic powers in comparison to the BPs.

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]smokingmonkey420 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Think industry. Say your a cashier at the gas station -- you work in oil and gas. You're a clerk at the hospital -- you work in health care.

        Or you could just be honest.

        [–]fuckwithpurpose 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        By asking she has revealed that she's evaluating you as a provider. Your goal is to not be put into that category. I tend to say something like "what would be your guess?" and take a hook from her answer to carry the conversation elsewhere. I've only done it a few times so I wing it beyond there.

        [–]Sandkasten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I like your response, but her question does not necessarily mean that she is evaluating you as a provider.

        • "Take a guess"
        • "A doctor"

        And you can let her talk with further questions. "Why do you think I'm a doctor?" "What kind of doctor?" "Why do women like doctors?"

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]Hudoneit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            "What do you do?" "I'm a lion tamer" or "i work for the CIA" with a joking smile and then move on

            [–]higher-standards 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I'm funemployed -- you mean unemployed?

            No I am fun employed.

            Then change to another topic, something fun.

            [–]kingintheattic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Reminds me of the two rules for success

            1. Never tell anyone everything you know.

            [–]Im_A_Box_of_Scraps 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Like Seth Rogans character in 40 year old virgin said, " Just ask questions."

            [–]mabden_reborn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Basically, you are presenting yourself as a challenge. Read The System by Doc Love.

            [–]Sandkasten 1 point2 points  (5 children)

            I would like to add, that you should reveal personal information as a reward. For me it is a big IOI if a woman tells me I'm a mystery. They just can't figure me out and this drives them somehow crazy.

            I'm not sure what RedPillSafe is trying to say, but introverts should use their quietness as an advantage! You are a challenge to her because she can't define you. Stop telling her your lifestory. Stop talking about religion, politics, family, emotions, your future plans and so on. Just listen, ask open-ended questions and paraphrase her words. I can give countless examples of situations in my personal life. Woman in my social circle I've met countless times and had drinks with still get suprised. I get invited to a BBQ and I decline because I take my nephew to an amusement park. "You have siblings, Sandkasten?". "Wow, I did not know you give swimming lessons on the weekend". "You have a tattoo? I thought you are not the kind of guy for a tattoo".

            If she can't define you she won't lose interest and you won't bore her!

            [–]XanderWaterman 1 point2 points  (8 children)

            Rookie question; I keep seeing IOI but can't find it in the glossary, meaning anyone?

            [–]ImnotTHATdrunk 7 points8 points  (1 child)

            Indicator(s) of Interest... They are not as important as people make them out to be though. You shouldn't need to read into a woman's body language and wonder of she is interested in you. You assume that her and every other woman in the room is interested in you and act appropriately. Always push forward as if she wants you until you get indicators she isn't interested. Then go after the next girl as if that last woman never existed.

            [–]XanderWaterman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            your username must be correct, that was a very good explanation

            [–]johnbranflake 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            indicator of interest. smiling and eye contact, playing with her hair etc

            [–]XanderWaterman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            ohhhh. I figured it was something like that but couldn't figure it out, thanks.

            [–]Mechbiscuit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            There's something zan perrion said about these sort of questions, he said "I rarely give a straight answer".

            This is a good way to approach this sort of thing because it's playful & playful = flirty.

            You're there to have fun, no? She wants to have fun,so have fun. Straight answers can come across as needy (look at how good my life is! I'm a stock broker! Validate me!) and as we all know, neediness kills attraction stone dead.

            [–]ShagggyDog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            My experience has given me two rules of thumb:

            • First conversation should take less than 5 mins.
            • For every two words she says you should say at most one.

            Of course, you still need to use those 5 mins to leave her confused and wondering about your mysteries.

            [–]ATrashMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Thank you for a quality post. Last couple of days here have sucked.

            [–]dicklord_airplane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I call it "actively hard to get". the concept confused me at first since it's paradoxical, but just about everything that makes a man irresistible to women seem paradoxical on the surface.

            [–]motorsizzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            What did she do that was rude? Did she interrupt and try to change the subject or was she just trying to join the conversation?

            [–]imeneo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            tell her you can read her like an open book.

            Recently with girls I've been explicitly saying or implying that I can read them like a book. Saying or showing that what they do or say doesn't faze you(because it actually doesn't) tips the scale of power in the relationship towards you in a tangible way.

            [–]ruboski 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            I understand the ideas that you're presenting but one thing I struggle with in redpill is the actual implementation of these ideas into my daily habits.

            I'm not sure how to actually enact what you're telling me to do. For example, if someone asks me what I do or what I study and I'm aiming for a closed book approach, what do I tell them?

            Thanks for the post though, I needed that.

            [–]SheepKing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            What is your job?

            it's complicated, you?

            she reply.

            shit test to know, defuse. change subject

            /

            You just want to fuck me, right?

            lol

            [–]astragaluma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            "Women love only the men they don't know."

            Pechorin. A Hero Of Our Time

            [–]DownInBlue 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Interesting how this community is US centric. Try any of that in France and the woman will just find you more ridiculous, pathetic.

            [–]otto192 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            it might be US centric, the principles apply everywhere. All women are similar immaterial of country, race,...etc. This is one of the lessons of TRP.

            [–]DownInBlue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Maybe the principles apply. But this was a post on 'how to' and practical situations.

            [–]FrozenTomatoEater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Nobody respects a doormat of a man. Not women, not other men, and especially not himself.

            [–]cali_gunner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I read this title in a Jim Florentine way - "I'm an open book xD" well you know what I'm a closed book and so was my father.

            [–]BellatorCordis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Any advice for what to say when you're pressed? How do you deflect the question without coming off as awkward?

            Saying something like, "I'm a private person." is going to make you seem like a weirdo.

            Changing the subject only works until they catch on to the fact that you're deflecting and call you out on it.

            [–]frankferri 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            If you can't tell stories how do you keep a conversation flowing?

            [–]Viscart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I'm seeing a lot of weird rants on here lately

            [–]AllOrDeath 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            A question:

            I understand why being a closed book would work on women and the psychological pings it causes. I don't understand how there is a logical connection between being high value and not sharing things about yourself. Those seem like 2 distinct things especially for someone like me who does not generally withhold information from people.

            [–]dixie-normas -1 points0 points  (1 child)

            High value people don't need to impress people by sharing too many things.

            [–]AllOrDeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You seem to be assuming the reason to share is to impress. What of it's simply to bond?

            [–]Notinjuschillin 0 points1 point  (3 children)

            good points but they're just games. All games to see who loves the least and whoever loves the least has the most power. That's all it is. Down vote me to oblivion..don't care.

            [–]Endorsed Contributorfluviant[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            You have a point, but consider the premise that we advocate treating women like children. They love games.

            No matter how self-/male-centric TRP is, biologically, women have the upper-hand in terms of reproduction. Think of the Laws of Power and how you should play others in order to succeed rather than stick to a stringent code of morals and ethics.

            [–]Notinjuschillin -1 points0 points  (1 child)

            you're right. Also, it takes 2 to play games.

            I was talking with a woman whom I met on Ok Cupid. Never talked about meeting..she did..so when the day came where we were supposed to meet, she flaked of course. She texted me the next day...all my replies to her were "ok" and that's it. Haven't talked to her in a few days, so this morning I decided to tell her that I don't like flakes..and that's why I haven't talked to her in ages days...but if she still wants to text/bullshit then I'm always available. She hasn't replied to me and I don't care if she doesn't.

            [–]SheepKing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            she just wanted validation

            [–]DetectiveGodvyel 0 points1 point  (4 children)

            You can't be a closed book if she's not interested in reading you in the same way you cannot be a "wordless alpha male" while doing cold approach. The problem with this is that valuable women will have better looking men in her life that are more interesting than you if you try the "I'm a closed book" approach. It does not intrigue her if she does not care about you. She only cares if she's already having sex with you/in a relationship with you, and at that point you need don't game to keep a woman.

            Furthermore it's a two-way street and men are just as intrigued by women like this. I suspect you've fallen for a woman like this before which is why you're trying to paint it as male only phenomenon to close a hole in your ego and/or past weakness, but that's not how the psychology goes. The hot valuable woman that passes all of your shit tests (such as not responding how you predict she will based off of your internet routines) and doesn't tell you everything is a lot intriguing than the annoying girl who pours at her life story and talks your ear off.

            [–]0473332002285 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

            and at that point you need don't game to keep a woman.

            You've never had a girlfriend before have you

            [–]DetectiveGodvyel 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            You clearly haven't considering where you hangout. The home of edgy armchair virgins with bad histories of rejection that created ill feelings toward women.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–]DetectiveGodvyel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              That's not how logic works. I've had plenty try again.

              [–]iJJD -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              I like what you had to say especially since you used a real life example. What I want to tell you is that what you had to say that got her attention wasn't that great, apart from the rest of the details that tell me she is a really stupid person and a bitch, being impressed by just "you're excused" tells me a lot more. Don't try to get your answers from one experience, it might not always be the right answer

              [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

              /u/fluviant, this may come across as harsh, but of course you're a closed book. You have nothing written in it. According to your own submission history, you will graduate with your B.S. in December of this year. You have to be a charlatan with your "closed book" because you've barely lived. No one is interested in a book with only a few pages written, and probably with the help of one's parents.

              Why would I keep my book closed when I am comfortable with who I am and what I have accomplished? I don't spew it, but I do not have any problems sharing information when I am asked.

              [–]SheepKing 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              if you talk about your job, there is a chance she's a gold digger. If you don't, you you cancel that probability.

              [–]1cover20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Present only favorable information. The purpose of telling her about a job is for her to desire you more and hope for eventual access to the funds, not for her to have actual access to the funds.

              [–]dimmy666 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Personal attack on OP thinking that this'll invalidate his theory. Classic troll is classic.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              It's not an invalidation; it's an observation. The theory may useful for some, but not for everyone. I think being direct is a better approach for some people. No need to beat around the bush and pretend you're an international man of mystery. Sometimes facts are far more interesting.

              [–]DocObvious_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Nice post fluvient. Nothing to add to that and tizens response.