Many of you are fairly new and most of the standard advice will make no sense to you:
"Cure your oneitis, bro. Go sleep with 10 girls"
Seriously? You have oneitis exactly because you have no one to sleep with. The above piece of advice is useless to anyone who isn't already successful.
"Cure approach anxiety. Take four girls to the club. Bitches love pre-selection. You'll be drowning in pussy"
Again, useless advice. If you already are able to take four girls, you are not looking to cure your approach anxiety.
Many of you have no starting point and are wondering how the heck to start. Going to clubs is getting you shut down by overactive bitch shields. Girls simply use you for drinks in bars. Women hurry away from you when you try day-game. So what to do? Where to even start?
I posted an outline of how to swallow the pill in /r/TheRedPill/comments/2l52zg/a_7_step_guide_to_swallowing_the_pill/.
Roughly, the steps are:
Lifting/physical fitness: Strictly speaking, you could probably do bodyweight exercises as well. There are so many resources on youtube and bodybuilding websites that I don't want to take up a lot of space on this, except to emphasize not to injure yourself and improve posture first.
Style: /r/malefashionadvice is a great resource, study it well
Mission: This is something you need to figure out on your own. Look at examples from people you admire.
Frame: I'll create a separate post on this
which brings us to....
My favorite game is social circle game. Even the biggest loser has a social circle and should be in a position to regularly interact with women.
The main components of social circle are:
- Friends of family / family of friends / friends of friends
- Shared activities such as hiking club, gym, etc.
- Any place where you visit frequently and see the same people including your favorite coffee shop, bus stop, etc.
Step by step instructions for social circle game:
5.1. Go into monk mode:
WTF does monk mode have to do with game? Its very simple. Monk mode is an excellent way to learn how to ignore women. Not how to pretend to ignore women, but how to actually ignore them without being perturbed. And why do you learn to ignore women? Because attention is the only currency women know and you need to learn how to stop giving it away for free.
Monk mode also removes you from the radar, allowing you unfettered time to improve yourself. When you come back from monk mode with a better body, more interesting life and better sense of style and a rock solid frame, mah nigga, you will be noticed.
Monk mode also tells you that you don't need a woman to be happy or content. You can live -- no, thrive without women. You are the one giving her a chance at a happier life. This builds confidence.
Confidence is the precise knowledge of what you can do and what you cannot do. For example, you may be confident that you can squat 150lb and also be confident you cannot squat 300lb. The clear knowledge of what you can and cannot do enables precise decision making and prioritization and is of high survival value. When it comes to interaction with women, knowing what you can do to her and what you cannot is confidence. If you aren't sure if you can kiss her when you can, you are timid. If you put your arm around her when you shouldn't, you are creepy. Interacting with women is a skill you learn by practice and develop confidence until it becomes natural.
5.3. Improved SMV:
You first need to accept that you are probably in the 4-6 range, which is average. 0 is dead, 1-3 are people with severe problems such as peeling, wart infested or otherwise troubled skin, grotesque appearance or deformed bodies, missing limbs, morbid obesity, etc. 7-9 are what we consider attractive. 10 is a theoretical maximum. Lifting makes your body more attractive. How many times have you seen a woman whose face was ugly but had a hot body and you thought "butterface, but I'd do her". Women think the same. Having a great body will make up for baldness, shortness (to some degree), ethnic background, etc. The key thing is that women will give you a chance, instead of automatic shutdowns. Having a unique sense of style makes you stand out and noticed and makes women curious. This combined with a good body will actually often make women open you. Once you begin interaction, a rock solid frame will build attraction. I give one point to each of these attributes, so that a 4 dude will grow into a 7 and a 6 will grow into a 9.
5.4. Reading signals:
The first sign that you will notice as your SMV improves is that women will hold your gaze. If they hold your gaze for more than two seconds, its safe to approach. Nothing may happen, but you won't be shut down. The second signal you will notice is that women will smile or if they are with a girlfriend, they may turn away and giggle and look back at you. This is a better signal, you can approach will boldness.
Note that women in your social circle know about you and if you have had recent string of successes or improved SMV, the women are talking about you. So you have a window of opportunity where you can approach almost any women. My advice is to approach all of them. Start by saying hi and making smalltalk. Your goal is to get used to approaching and talking, not to have sex. Approach women you would not fuck if you want to start with. Eventually, have lunch or coffee with everyone. When word gets around that this guy is very social, women will not think much if you approach them or no one (including you) will care if an invitation is declined. Women in your social circle are most likely to agree to go to coffee with you, especially if you are known to take everyone to coffee. Repeated asking women out and taking them to coffee with no sexual intention will take the edge off the anxiety and you will grow more and more confident when talking to women. Dividing your attention among multiple women is the best prevention and cure to oneitis
Occasionally, you and one of your coffee dates will have moment of connection. This is a good time to escalate. If you have never touched, hold her hand.
If you have already hugged, go for the kiss. For the purposes of escalation, her social status (i.e. boyfriend, etc) does not matter. But ensure that no one she knows is around. Eventually, things will get physical enough that you two become intimate.
Do not chase! Repeat, do not chase!! Your interaction with them should leave them wanting more and they should contact you almost every time. Ignoring a girl after showing her a wonderful time makes you irresistible. If she does not chase you, move on. If no one chases you, work on your interactions, be fun to be around. (This is a separate topic). Always be willing to let go.
5.8. Grow the circle:
Always look to grow your social circle. Meet friends of friends and then their friends. Meet people through your mission. The larger your social circle, the more people you meet and less you care about the outcome with any individual girl. My suggestion is to also take guys out for coffee or beer. It will help you grow your circle.
General notes: Note that social circle game is slower than a club/bar or day game. In a club you have an hour or two to do what you can stretch over weeks in your social circle. Social circle game also enables opportunities for long time frame pre-selection, show of leadership, etc.
Do not approach any girl who is in a relationship with a male friend of yours. Its always more useful to have the man as an extender of your social circle. "Bro's before ho's"
If a girl recoils from your advances, pretend you never did it and continue from stage before you escalated. Often, she will ignore it too. Next her, she's not into you. Surprisingly, some of these girls may end up chasing you but you should never think of her any more.
EDIT: fixed link