top 200 commentsshow all 383

[–]primevalist 335 points336 points  (73 children)

You can show emotions around women, as long as these emotions are reasserting your dominant, masculine, primal and passionate side. But never make a mistake of showing emotional or mental weakness, because even though she will appear to be compassionate, deep down inside she will lose respect for you.

[–]asdfghjkltyu 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Also they will try and trick you into expressing emotions constantly, asking you how you feel, expressing your thought process and emotions on a topic. If you fall for this you fail. You have to talk strongly on a particular subject about what the outcome you desire is going to be, not the feelings that got you to that decision.

While women will want you to express on some level in extreme situations sadness and empathy (such as when someone has passed away or has gotten injured) in your day to day life almost all discussion of your feelings or feeling of uncertainty are not welcomed.

[–]100 Modbsutansalt 12 points13 points  (2 children)

This is a very common relationship shit test men fail, myself included. Do not let this happen to you. The moment you give in you've given up frame control.

[–]_valtiel_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a private person anyway. Mostly because I realized most people don't care anyway.

[–]sammiemichelle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you all are really misguided by some shity women in your life. I'm a woman, and I don't see how my SO having moments of emotional weakness would lose my respect. He has been there for me when I've cried, and I want to be his shoulder to lean on too. Him opening up about issues in his life has only brought me closer to him, because in my opinion, it takes a strong man to admit that he is feeling weak. If you can't be open with the woman you love, then why even bother?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

AMEN! Was laying in bed last night with my main plate laying on my chest. I had alot on my mind and couldn't sleep. Guess she could feel my unrest. She asked "Baby, can you not sleep? What's wrong? Wanna talk about it?". My response - "Everything's perfect." And I put my hand on her head and lay it down on my chest cause she had raised it up. Next morning, she woke me up with warm morning sex. Moral of the story: Always be the boulder in her stream of emotions. The only emotion that is acceptable by women are positive emotions. Happiness, awe, satisfaction, etc. All manly emotions. Like walking into a 3000 year old hand built church and her seeing your face of awe. That is a def panty dropper especially when you point out the beauty of the architecture and have her imagine the skill it took to build it.

[–]magicalbird 74 points75 points  (9 children)

You can show feelings around women as long as it relates to her tingles.

[–]DevonAero 27 points28 points  (16 children)

This. Also, never be lead by or make decisions based on emotions, that's feminine behavior.

[–]Dorrog 34 points35 points  (14 children)

Neurology has discovered that all decisions are emotional. Being purely logical is impossible for a human.

This idea of the purely logical guy is just bad broscience.

[–]DannyDemotta 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Strawman. OP didnt indicate pure, 100%, solely, or any similar word choice.

You let intelligence propel you, logic steer you, and use emotions to make fine (not wild, not jerky, not frivolous) adjustments.

[–]boxofcookies101 12 points13 points  (9 children)

But there's a difference between doing something because of how you feel and weighing out the pro's and the cons. Most decisions are influenced by emotions however is it is possible to look at things as they are and take the personal opinion out of them.

[–][deleted]  (8 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Strictly speaking we humans are not capable of looking at things completely objectively. We all have bias. Now it is true that some people are more objective than others, but nobody is completely objective. So no, strictly speaking, its not possible for humans to look at things as they are.

    • Humans aren't capable of looking things objectively
    • Yet, some people can be more objective than others
    • But yet, we cannot see things as they are

    Your definition of objectivity is basically "well-informed subjectivity free from emotional influence", which isn't just unattainable but also pointlessly pedantic. How would an objective decision be superior to an informed emotionally influenced subjective one? This is basically an ad hominem against our nature because it implies that every opinion that we could possibly form is bad when compared to its undefined objective counterpart.

    An informed subjective decision towards the best outcome is what most people refer to "logical" with the same way "a man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills" is sufficient to be called "free will". Now, stop attacking straw-men.

    Bonus edit: We're also not free from being influenced by external causes that favor our own actions (luck). Just because it's unattainable to be "free from influenced by luck" doesn't mean that our skills and abilities are undermined when compared to a universe where luck is a non-factor (which again, it's unattainable and pointlessly pedantic to compare with).

    [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (5 children)

    pedantic undergrad garbage

    [–]Dark triad expert: - http://illimitablemen.com/ - [3 Points]IllimitableMan 7 points8 points  (4 children)

    Hear, hear! He's missing the forest for the trees.

    [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's an ideal you do your best to approach - more successful men get closer to that ideal than less successful men. Even some of the obvious counterexamples, like emotional musicians who are massively famous and wealthy, often went about building their business, networking, and handling everything other than the making of the music in a very logical, strategic manner.

    Try to make decisions purely based off of logic, and you'll fall short, but land in the area of good decisions. Neurology is not the end all, be all; in 50 years we will likely have different neurological theories about emotions, decisions, and so on. For instance, it's likely the majority of us feel an emotional pull towards one pole of a decision all of the time, but we have the logical ability to override that pull. A neurologist would measure the heightened brain activity in relevant areas and conclude "emotional decision" when in reality the decision was to resist the emotion.

    [–]Nudity_Is_Freedom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Given that, thoughts on sharing mental illness experiences with a spouse?

    [–]2alisonstone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    When you are with a woman, you are playing the role of CEO. The captain of the ship. The captain of the football team. You can show emotion. Many leaders do. But that must never compromise your ability to lead. You can be upset that something went wrong. But you cannot demonstrate that you are unfit to continue leading. Imagine the captain of a ship acting scared, sobbing, and saying that he has no idea what to do and the world is so unfair to him because his GPS broke. He should be immediately relieved of duty because he is going to cause a panic.

    You can be pissed. You can be sad. But you are never without a plan. You are never uncertain. You never stop leading. The moment you fail to lead, it is the woman's duty to relieve you of the husband/boyfriend position and relegate you to beta orbiter status, just like how the board can relieve the CEO of his duties if the CEO demonstrates he is unfit or incompetent.

    Remember, men are the disposable sex. A single man can impregnate many women a day, for several decades. On the other hand, fertility for women is much more limited and a pregnancy is a long and dangerous process. If a man cannot lead, protect, and provide for his family, he is pretty much useless. Biologically, it would be prudent for her to be completely turned off by such a man because he poses a great threat to her survival and her offspring's survival. There are plenty of other men that can provide sperm.

    Remember, you are the CEO/captain. You wouldn't cry and whine while you are on the job. Don't do it in your relationship.

    [–]PsillyWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Andddddd that's how I lost my first love

    [–]johndoe21012014 60 points61 points  (1 child)

    I hope this subreddit never ceases to exist.

    [–]kcpwnsgman 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    It's one of the only reasons I'm on reddit anymore

    [–]themoor 98 points99 points  (3 children)

    Sharing feelings is what women do with each other. Want to come off to a woman as one of her future girlfriends or worse some beta-bitch boy she doesn't want to talk to? Yeah, go ahead, unload your feelings on her. That shit only works in Hollywood or it is so rare it doesn't even fall under the far end of the bell curve.

    Got the oneitis? Been pining away for "the one" for so long your hurt inside? Guess what? You've already blown it. Unload on her and you'll get the "I don't feel about you that way" let down. And she should do it too... after all, you were to big of a wuss to be upfront about those feelings (meaning sexually escalate like you know what the fuck you are doing) and her mind slotted you in the "does nothing for my vag" category long ago. You turned yourself into an orbiter. Your fault, not hers.

    A proviso to the OP. A woman MAY want to know about your feelings...but she want to work for that, like she's earned it. And, this is usually after a long period of dating and banging. And, you should never, ever volunteer this shit. That's her job, not yours. And if she does entreat you to share your fweelings, then dole them out slowly and only if she has behaved well and shared her first.

    Only after a long, long period of being with a woman should you open up more and even then its a crapshoot (and the above rules still apply). In a long term relationship, a touch of beta is usually needed but sparingly. So if you do open up, let her know how you feel without some faggy soliloquy.

    Men show their emotions to women by doing. We share out time with them but on our terms and certainly not all of our time.

    We let them into our interests but only in time. Not immediately. She's gotta show herself worthy.

    Shitty day at work? Don't unload on her about it. You come home a bit tense and angry. Her: What's wrong hun? You: Shitty day at work, that's all. Let's have drink [and then do anything else but bitch about your boss]

    Here's where you can share "feelings" and not turn her vag into an arid desert. Your passions. Reading a good book and she asks about it? Tell her how fucking bad ass Rommel, Montgomery, Patton, who the fuck ever was in WWII (you get my point). You love a sport? Music? Art? Talk about it like its the best fucking shit ever. Women love passion in a man.

    Even when its about her. But her, do/show, don't tell. Rip her clothes off and fuck her like she makes your dick hard as diamonds. That's how a woman wants her man to make her feel. She doesn't want to hear it from your mouth.

    If you ain't banging her, then all your petitioning, poems, songs in her honor, supplicating, and emoting won't do shit or, worse, the opposite of what you would like it to do.

    Yeah, I know from a past experience. About 20 years ago and NOTHING I did worked. Just the opposite.

    Now, women I'm with are just happy as can be to get a modicum of recognition from me that I like them. I dole it out carefully and modestly. No gushing. A slap on the ass, a kiss on the top of the head, or a carefully planned and cooked meal do wonders.

    Good post OP.

    [–]Fir3start3r 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Good post. Still haven't quite cut off the 20 years part (divorce on horizon), but sooo looking forward to that getting past that milestone and to the new me. For now, learning....

    [–]last_to_know 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Honestly this could be a post in itself.

    Men show their emotions to women by doing.

    This is so true, too many guys don't understand this. You start showing emotion like a woman, that's how your girlfriend is going to see you!

    [–]Ek70R 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wow thanks man your helping here, thats exactly what I thought women like and need, women like a hard, rough and secure men, not some whinny whinny good boy telling poems and shit (I used to do that) and even If I dont have the same amount of experience you do (time for that matter) I ve come take the red pill by my past experiences with women being a overly attached good boy, now I have a new relationship and I m being completely oposite to how I was with my exes and GUESS WHAT?? she is overly attached to me, it feels awesome, I feel a real man. I dont threat her like shit or anything, I just try to act like a mas has to be thats all. actions over words.

    [–]1Mikesapien 76 points77 points  (35 children)

    No one - female or otherwise - gives a fuck about your feelings.

    I.e., "You are the rock; act like it."

    [–]Drunken_dog 38 points39 points  (9 children)

    Expect for your mother, she is biologically forced too. But don't be a bitch running to mommy if you feelings are hurt, it will just make her feel bad too.

    [–]mctoasterson 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    ...and when you whine and complain to a woman, it infantilizes you in her eyes. This is anathema to a woman you are trying to seduce or have an adult relationship with. If you put her in the role of your mother of course she isn't going to be attracted to you.

    [–]Coolfuckingname 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Nicely put. She can be Mommy or My Woman. Choose one.

    We all need a mommy once in a while, but you better be dam sure to be strong and stable enough for her to be proud of having you as Her Man. I lost the love of my life for not doing this.

    Make her proud or watch her leave eventually. Choose one.

    [–]16 Endorsed Contributorzyk0s 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    And women know this, this is why so many of them will disdainfully make jokes about a man "not having cut the umbilical cord" when he is close to his mother and makes use of the emotional help she provides.

    That's why you have bros, other men who are at similar stages in their lives who will understand without doting. A masculine but caring father is good too, if you have the chance of having one.

    [–]tsotha 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Pretty much. You lose respect when you unload your feelings on someone.

    Anyway, women like a puzzle (even your mom). They'll be happier if they have to figure out what you're feeling by the way you act, and when your wife/girlfriend tells you she wants to have a discussion about feelings she means her feelings.

    [–]primordialbeast85 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

    Dude there's plenty of people out here who will converse on that level, you don't have to pretend to be some badass all the time. Just be real. And be socially aware. Should you tell some asshole kid who is always trying to be alpha about your emotional issues? Of course not. But this pretending to be someone else schtick seems all wrong to me imo. Be you, just be a better you.

    [–]1ImRasputin 206 points207 points  (57 children)

    My interesting experience:

    I was seeing this girl for a few times before. I showed absolutely no weaknesses while seeing her in person, held my frame all the time, was a rock. We haven't seen each other for a long time and I missed her a lot, my beta behavior kicked in.

    So I chatted her up on facebook (I know) and I felt no real interest from her. Then I made a huge mistake I asked her whether she is happy with her life. She said that it is hard question, but she probably is. Then she asked me the same question back to come off as a caring human being. I said that I'm not happy with my life. She said that I should tell her and maybe she could help me. The mistake I made after that was fatal. I didn't even think and just started typing my problems.

    Only after I hit enter I realized how much did I fuck up. She started typing something, but I reacted quickly and just typed: "Hahahah... got you!" before she wrote anything.

    She then replied: "Omg, good one... Honestly, I really love that you never act like pussy. Every guy is just soft nowadays, I really miss you, your roughness and your DGAF attitude."

    Girl just went full 180 in a couple of seconds. I saved my fucking ass.

    I'm no robot, I have deep feelings. I'm happy, disappointed, angry, sad... But I don't show this to outside world. Every men should be like a rock, if you need to cry, do it alone. I'm no tough guy, I sometimes break down too, but nobody knows it and that's the most important thing.

    We then continued to chat in more sexual way and we are seeing each other when I will have time.

    [–]Baylien2 112 points113 points  (11 children)

    Wow that had to be eye opening for you. Women truly don't give a fuck about your problems.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorAerobus 39 points40 points  (8 children)

    It's important to note you can't blame a woman for being a woman. Just accept that that is how women are. Otherwise you will remain angry and resent them.

    [–]henry_k 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    For the things that you cannot change, like death, earthquakes, and female behavior, its a waste of time and energy to be emotional about. Just accept that it is what it is and move on

    [–]Ek70R 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    exactly like that, women are like that we cannot change them just accept them. We however can change and see the way we cant react to all this. the sooner the better.

    [–]Ek70R 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    fuck so true, before, I used to hate women because of this and all of the misinterpretations present in movies, poems or even novels (thanks victor hugo!) because they were so different to what I read, watched and see, but it is better to accept it

    [–]1ImRasputin 69 points70 points  (0 children)

    It really was man. It's the best feeling in the world, when you experience shit that you read here in the real life and just think: "damn, those guys were fucking right. everything clicks."

    [–]PoopSmearMoustache 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    Suffer in silence.

    A good saying I heard coming from military men who recognise that bringing up a bad mood only serves to give it others.

    [–]Gunnilingus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    You have to embrace the suck, as the saying goes. At the end of the day, you don't need more than 2, maybe 3 people to offer insight on how to sort out your problems. Nobody else needs to know about your struggles, it's not going to benefit you if they do. Women only want to tell everyone about their woes because they have a deep-seated desire to seek attention and emotional validation. Personally, I don't need someone else to tell me that what I'm feeling is ok to feel. Only reason to ever tell someone your problems is if they can help solve it.

    [–]wont_tell_i_refuse 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Chatting them up via text is how feelings come out, and it's a very easy mistake to make these days. I can maintain frame in a real-life setting, but being a child of the Internet I'm used to talking about how I feel via text.

    [–]Admiringcone 11 points12 points  (8 children)

    As awesome as this sounds...she really said -

    Every guy is just soft nowadays, I really miss you, your roughness and your DGAF attitude.?

    [–]through_a_ways 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    I've been praised by women, verbatim, for "not giving a fuck". It's not that uncommon.

    [–]Admiringcone 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    No doubt. What i find hard to believe is just the actual wording haha, not content

    [–]through_a_ways 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    "I like your voice"

    "Why"

    "You sound like you don't give a fuck"

    Pretty much verbatim

    [–]1ImRasputin 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Like I said to another guy, I put few of her replies in one. Where I put commas - those were her replies.

    "Every guy is just soft nowadays, I really miss you."

    ....

    "You looks so rough... always walking around like you don't give a fuck."

    [–]StarDestinyGuy 35 points36 points  (20 children)

    I'm no robot, I have deep feelings. I'm happy, disappointed, angry, sad... But I don't show this to outside world. Every men should be like a rock, if you need to cry, do it alone. I'm no tough guy, I sometimes break down too, but nobody knows it and that's the most important thing.

    Man, fuck this lifestyle. This is the life of leaving all of your feelings bottled up inside until the day you die. Never expressing yourself, never seeking comfort in others in times of need.

    This is the kind of thought that leads men to not seek help when they need it and leads men to commit suicide far more than women.

    [–]yummyluckycharms 26 points27 points  (1 child)

    Not exactly - you can share your feelings with your male friends or psychiatrist, but not to the women in your life.

    The key is to compartmentalize - and separate your emotions and activities based on whom you are with. Part of the truth that red pill preaches is in recognizing the role of biology - women are hard wired to look for strength - crying in front of women doesnt do this.

    When you cry in front of a women, the only thing that is wet is the ink on your divorce papers.

    [–]Gunnilingus 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    That's one way of looking at it. Personally, I think that the ability of a man to keep his emotions to himself is one of the most impressive and generally awesome aspects of being an alpha. Imagine a strong leader. Now, how often does that leader cry in front of you? How often does he show that he is vulnerable in any way? If there's one thing I learned in the army, It's that you do not bitch, complain, or above all appear helpless to your subordinates, because they will lose respect for you as a leader. Women are looking for leaders in men, not equals. I could count the number of people I share my emotions with on the fingers of one hand if I lost 3 fingers in a carpentry accident, and I'm proud of that fact. The essence of being a strong male is strength, and emotional vulnerability is weakness, pure and simple.

    [–]rpscrote 7 points8 points  (4 children)

    Probably true. But you can express yourself and all of that noise. To your good, close male friends. Never to your woman.

    [–]Ek70R 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    yea but even then it is good to limitate the amount of time u make your friends hear your problems and self doubts, it is always better to make it fast and talk it in a relaxed way with a couple of beers or something, however if it is something very hard to suck up like the death of someone close or something like that..... well cant help it there.

    [–]rpscrote 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    that's smart advice. You definitely don't want to become the guy that always has problems. That probably means there's something wrong at a deeper level, that you view so many things as problems and not as mere events in your life continuum. For a normal guy, with a normal amount of problems and life outlook, you'll probably be fine chatting over a couple of beers from time to time.

    [–]Ek70R 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    thanks, it is also important not to wait anyhing from any SO you have, what I mean is that if you are having a bad day and get home sometimes (I made this mistake) I feel mad that SHE DOESNT ask me about whats wrong with me and I get attention seeker trying to be asked by hear if she can do something to help me etc. It is unnecesary, no girl is there to hear your shit, I made that mistake MANY TIMES and I wont WONT do it again really. it sucks. cheers mate

    [–]Olipyr 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    Men compartmentalize their emotions. We have to and we will always have to. It's the way the world has worked and will always work, at least until we all become cyborgs or something.

    Let your emotions out in others ways, never bottle them up. Let them out by exercising or closing that huge deal that's been in the works for months or, hell, jack off.

    No one is saying not to seek comfort in a time of absolute need. No one is going to look down on you for crying at a funeral or anything like that.

    Don't show your emotions in a womanly way to a woman you're interested in.

    EDIT: To touch on the suicide, men are disposable. We are the ones who go to war, we are the ones who build empires and build huge, successful businesses. You'll rarely see a woman who can do that. The vast majority are, and will always be, men who take the biggest risks and some win big and others will fail hard.

    [–]FatGirlsInPartyHats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    What makes certain men so weak they need to be "woe is me" about their circumstances that are certainly never unique to just them? We've all got shit to deal with.

    [–]PlanB_pedofile 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    She fails the quality test. Plate material but a headache LTR material.

    Mostly because there will be one day you'll be off your game. Sick, the flu, shitting and puking, victim of company downsizing, parents died, dog died, and the dominate frame gets lowered as you reveal your human self. She sees that you are a man with human emotions and her vag will dry up and the memory of your cock just shrunk 3 inches.

    You did a good save but be willing to NEXT her at any moment.

    [–]Vietnom 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    "Omg, good one... Honestly, I really love that you never act like pussy. Every guy is just soft nowadays, I really miss you, your roughness and your DGAF attitude."

    C'mon bro. You expect us to believe she said that? That's just too much exactly in line with your point. Obvious that you paraphrased it, if not straight up made it up.

    [–]1ImRasputin 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I put her few replies in one so it would be easier to read. If you don't believe it, okay, I don't need to convince you.

    [–]antariusz 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    I don't know if this ties in or not, but 2 different relationships I've had where I was the MOST sought after by the woman, I never once showed sadness towards anything in my own life and what pretty stoic, but they each saw me cry while cuddling and watching a sappy movie (fault in our stars for the more recent example). I mean, I'm generally an emotionally abusive asshole and get away with A LOT of shit, so the fact that she sees that I'm "capable" of being sad... and just choose not to ever be sad or complain about my own situation is maybe really powerful.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 195 points196 points  (28 children)

    Let me tell you fucks a story. So about a year ago im hanging out with my friend. On impulse he decides to drop by his mom's house to pick up a jacket. I cant say no cuz im in his car.

    Anyway, we drop by his mom's house. Her car is there but she's not answering. She's not in the bedroom. Bathroom door is locked. Start Knocking on bathroom yelling her name. Nothing. Decide to boot door.

    His mom is laying submerged in a bathtub not moving. We pull his mother out of the tub, cover her in towels put her on couch. Call 911. Mom died of a drug overdose.

    Pulling a dead woman out of a tub really fucks me up. Start thinking about meaning of life feel really disconnected. Nothing matters to me at all.

    Dudes have nothing to say except 'that really sucks bro.' Tell my girlfriend (at the time) about it and she said that she's too tired to deal with it and that its really depressing. Tell my mom about it and she makes it all about herself ''were you concerned for your mother, don't worry id never do that'.

    So there you go. If something really fucked up happens to you that shakes you to your very core, women wont give a fuck.

    [–]Epicureanist 80 points81 points  (7 children)

    The responses from your gf and mom are almost comical man. "Me me me me"

    [–]RedPill_S 39 points40 points  (1 child)

    Dudes have nothing to say except 'that really sucks bro.'

    Sometimes that's all that needs said though. Then you drink beer and go blow shit up. That's what me and my friends do when we go through shit. Hell, we do that when everything is going great too come to think about it lol

    [–]betablueballs 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    I heard a story, I think this American life, where a girl had cancer and her friend didn't know what to say, except, "this really sucks." Right before she died, she told her friend that that was the most meaningful thing she had heard from anyone before her time was through.

    [–]bobby8u 17 points18 points  (2 children)

    Best friend from college dies in horrific tragic accident, story covers the usa. All the roommates drive 10+ hours to funeral. We are all out drinking, having a good time, remembering old times, but really just hanging out talking shit. I had my girl at the time with me and no one else brought theirs. We were in at about 3+ years together,not married, of a 6 year relationship. around 9:30 she starts nagging that shes tired and wants to leave. I say no, but then give in. My buddy looks at me, and i have a photographic memory to this day, of his face saying. "Dude, we understand." They closed out the bar. Regret. only a few that i have. fuck!

    [–]sweetleef 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    she starts nagging that shes tired and wants to leave.

    There you have it in a nutshell.

    Me, me, me, me.

    That's the sum total of the support, sacrifice, and empathy you should expect.

    And odds are that if shit ever really hit the fan, those guys in the bar would be there for you before, and after, the nagging bitch already forgot about you.

    [–]Vietnom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Damn dude. That sucks to feel so alone. That has not been my experience when bad shit happens. My mom is always a super good listener, helps me walk through issues. I can't imagine if I didn't have that.

    [–]TylerDurdenRP 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    That is why you gotta have male friends. You can break down to one of your best friends and if they are a good friend they will pick you back up. But NEVER fall back down after they pick you up. That is rude.

    [–]1aguy01 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    'that really sucks bro.'

    That's the proper response. The relief comes just from talking about it, not any special advice they give. When someone comes to you with some serious shit you should just shut the fuck up and hear them out.

    And yea that sucks bro.

    [–]smokingmonkey420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I don't see a problem in what your mother said. In essence, she said she wouldn't abandon you. You expect her to say, "that sucks bro"?

    [–]darkstout 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Damn, my mom would say the exact same thing. I thought she was more self-centered than average, but such female self-involvement is no doubt the norm.

    [–]eatingcheetos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Damn man. Is your friend alright?

    [–]kanaduhisfruityeh 31 points32 points  (4 children)

    If a woman friendzones you, just cut your losses and move on. There are 288 million + women in the world in the 18-22 year old age range alone and 1.7 billon 18-50 years old. Focusing so much futile energy on one of them just isn't worth the effort.

    [–]dardanmm 11 points12 points  (3 children)

    Go to the city and then decide if that girl even remotely compares to the amount of essentially infinite amount of beautiful women walking around.

    [–]MrMagwitch 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    .

    [–]dardanmm 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    I think what happens is guys get "lucky" and get to go out with a girl in their social circle. But if they break it off their fear of having to actually approach women is unbearable.

    [–]bmunny1963 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    I read most of the replies to OP and it's funny how so many guys miss the point or just want to believe in unicorns. OP is dead on target: Women don't want you to share your feelings and doing so lowers your SMV. Period. And some you guys are confusing "feelings" and "emotions." I believe OP is saying that it's perfectly fine for a man to show appropriate emotion (anger, frustration, sadness, joy, etc.) but discussing your feelings about your relationship, your career, your childhood--whatever--with a woman is a bad move. She doesn't care and she will hold it against you.

    [–]dardanmm 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Seriously. You're the fucking rock. No matter how many times women say "I like a guy with feelings" - it's complete bullshit. You're there to tell her "it's okay, relax" - you're not one of her girlfriends. The moment you give in, you lose your fucking manhood i her eyes. It is okay in private because you're not human if you don't "have feelings" but never in public.

    [–]sticktothehardstuff 20 points21 points  (5 children)

    Women only care about your feelings if you are very good looking, high SMV (Alpha). They will be endeared / turned by your vulnerable side. The cliche of the Alpha male who has a vulnerable side is what literary porn for women is made of.

    But, in general, most men are not that good looking, don't have high SMV, so it's best to keep your emotions to yourself.

    [–]2emptyform 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    You also have to be able to express your vulnerabilities eloquently/with charisma.

    [–]LineOfCoke 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    Yeah all this bullshit about sharing your feelings is about being able to manipulate you by knowing how you feel and using it against you.

    [–]1trplurker 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    This is what male bonding is about. In times long past male children would be taken aside and taught by the older men in the tribe to do male things and work in groups of men. This process bonds them together and enables them to work as a team, it also creates an environment that allows for a male to share with other males his own anxieties. This was safe because if one male is feeling anxious about something, chances are other males had similar feelings, or the older males had once had those and could provide couching and counsel.

    Industrialization destroyed the traditional framework and replaced it with male clubs based on common interests / experiences (sports / hobbies / ect..). Since the males had similar interests they still had enough in common that they could bond and provide for life couching and assisting with anxieties. Feminism has since destroyed those frameworks and is actively hunting down any location where they form. Male social groups that are capable of creating this kind of safe supportive bonding can only exist in the absence of female influence, if a women is present her solipsism will destroy the environment required for men to be trusted with showing vulnerability.

    What we have now, in the internet age, is groups of men who's only response to showed weakness is to socially attack it in the presence of others as an attempt to demonstrate their ability. You see it everywhere, even here. A male will produce some thought, feeling or comment that shows weakness and then you get people immediately attacking it in an attempt to discredit and dominate the male in a public setting. This differs from ribbing / horseplay in that it's intention is to dominate and subjugate vs bond and produce positive feelings. Men aren't taught how to bond anymore and start to think everything is a competition for social credit.

    [–]wolverinesfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I agree with /user/trplurker, I talked with a close male friend of mine and he asked me how it was going. Instead of telling him my usual, I told him I was having a bad fucking day at work. And then he opened up to me and told me what was going on in his life. Some douche bag kept ribbing him at work and his mom had cancer, etc.

    After he got to finally vent, I helped build him back up. Just by remembering that he was a wolf, not a punching bag. After a few days he called me back and said thanks and that things were better.

    If he only endlessly complained and never did anything about it then I wouldn't care.

    He told me the only reason he opened up is because I did it first.

    Usually i'm a positive fucking rock.

    I also agree with the rest of the redpill posters on this subreddit.

    I had an awesome connection with a woman, we got along great mentally emotionally and spiritually, we were extremely open with each others thoughts and feelings. And then over time our relationship just crumbled hard. We both didn't feel the chemistry between each other.

    And I fucked up because I shared my feelings and basically bled on this woman regularly cleaning up trauma's that have occurred to me over a 10 year period. By talking with her I helped myself heal, but i burned that relationship to the ground.

    And in the end it broke something in me. Over time my don't give a fuck factor has gone up lots. Awesome girl rejects me online? I don't care. Am I going to do what I did in the past, and be someone's emotional pillow or beta orbiter? No way.

    You can't be someone's puppy. They don't want that. If they wanted that they'd get a real puppy to play with and nurture. Women want men, someone rock hard they can lean on. Opening emotionally up can be okay but in real fucking moderation.

    And that's why i'm glad to be on this forum. Because honestly, fuck being a pure beta. I'm worth more than that and I want more than that.

    I've started working out to get my ass in shape. I've got a fantastic job. And now i'll find a woman under my terms.

    [–]1DowntownSacramento 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    FUCKING GAME, PLAYER.

    Much appreciation for no bs and being effectively concise.

    [–]newlifeasredpill 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    This is a really good post that would have frightened me off in my BP days

    My family life is so much better now that I come home and laugh at my wife's complaining. I used to get so annoyed and upset and angry etc.

    Now I just tell her to knock it off. Or smirk at her. Basically I am a dick about any non specific "problems". I don't try to fix it. I don't let my mood change.

    Funny thing is....she very quickly now adapt to MY mood.

    [–]Ties5o 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    There is also an evolutionary reason why women would be turned off to overly emotional men: Men need to provide and be effective, and if they are constantly swayed by their feelings that will subject their overall effectiveness as a man. Its evolutionary unattractive to emote too many feelings.

    Like anything else, this is to a degree. Positiive emotions are great, when not overdone. And its okay to show some negative emotions when harmed, but they should be brief, controlled, and quickly turn to action.

    [–]Ties5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ill admit I started my reply after reading half your post. You cover this in the last couple paragraphs. But good to re-iterate just for those who struggle to understand why being overly emotional is a turn off.

    [–]B_Campbell 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Spot on. They don't care about your feelings. They care about their feelings. Never show weakness.

    [–]jbuttons2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Fuck bitches, get money.

    The moment you give a fuck about what a woman thinks, you've already committed yourself down a road toward misery and loneliness.

    Rock out with your cock out. Women will accompany you. The moment they become more problems than the pussy they provide, ditch them. They will either come back begging, or they'll fuck off. What happens to them when they're not with you is not something to worry about, nor should you indulge them.

    Don't listen to exes that whine about their current boyfriends, they're only comparing their current relationship to you in hopes you will do something they want, in hopes of reclaiming the relationship. Don't bother.

    Never give in to ultimatums. The moment a woman makes one, make her live up to the promise. She will either follow through and make herself miserable, or she'll fold.

    [–]KissTheBridesmaid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Great post. Just a few words to those who appear very unhappy with this and want to pour out their emotions unto their SO like they do with their mothers. Nobody says you can’t do that. This is TRP. We observe realities of the world. This is one of them. We simply observe that if you do X, the result will be Y. Whether or not you decide to do X, depends simply on whether or not you want Y to happen.

    [–]frys180 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    There is no reason, at all, ever, to discuss your feelings with a woman.

    It's not that they don't want to hear your negative emotions AT ALL. It's all about moderation. We humans have an ability to empathize with others. We, however, don't want to be overladen with a streamline of negative emotions. That's when things start feeling like a burden.

    Think about it. You wouldn't mind the occasional times of consoling your SO when their feeling down about things happening in their life. But if you had to do it all the time it would drive you insane. Women are the same way. They want to help. But not carry you all the way through to the finish line so to speak.

    Disclaimer: The two of you need to already be emotionally invested in each other for this to mean anything. For example, did you care about how that homeless man you passed in the street was feeling? No? You didn't give him any money? But you'll consider giving your friends money if they really needed it. My point exactly.

    [–]Aspiring_Hobo 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    So simple, yet so true. Empathy is an evolutionary trait that skipped women

    [–]Dig_Dlack_Bick 33 points34 points  (23 children)

    There really is no haven for us.

    What is the point

    [–]Moolg86 25 points26 points  (10 children)

    reminds me of Neo's reaction when he sees the state of the real world for the first time.

    [–]Dig_Dlack_Bick 6 points7 points  (6 children)

    I've seen it. Casual visitor, finally made an account recently though.

    While visiting is a friendly reminder of how everything really is, realizing how easily discard-able you are is very depressing to me.

    [–]16 Endorsed Contributorzyk0s 26 points27 points  (2 children)

    There used to be safe havens, there were called the pub, the club house, i.e. male spaces. Feminism is attempting to destroy them, and although they can police buildings and institutions, they can't control a group of human beings.

    Your male friends, real friends, are the only ones able to help you deal with your emotional pains without making you lose your masculinity and therefore your desirability to the other sex. Women do not need this from their friends, which I suspect is why their friendships are so different, and sometimes don't feel like friendships at all.

    A favorite modern trope is that men dissociate sex from emotions, while women are much less likely to do so. This of course is meant to paint men as jerks, but the reality is that men need to perform this dissociation to get sex at all. Thankfully, we are capable of doing that.

    This reality depresses you because you were taught to seek a romantic partner in the same way women do: someone who cares about your well-being, physical and emotional, with whom you can have stimulating conversations and at the same time find attractive and have sex with. A woman can find all the in a man, but a man can't.

    It sounds awful, but there's another angle to it: women need to place all those hopes on their one man, or at best two of them if they pursue AFBB. If they lose those men, they lose all of the above, their girlfriends are really only able to superficially console them with platitudes. We on the other hand, still have our loyal friends. We get to be the center of a woman's world, they are just tagging along for the ride.

    [–]2emptyform 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Goes back to another old trope: a successful LTR is usually only possible if you are a solid 1 or 2 points higher SMV than your girl.

    [–]deepfriedcocaine 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    And through acknowledging your own disposability, you see that of others. Not necessarily depressing, but worth embracing; now that you're aware of it, control it.

    [–]DexterousRichard 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    The samurai only overcame fear by facing his own mortality. When you can attack with no fear, while knowing you may well die, you have mastered your emotions, and will likely prevail.

    [–]1aguy01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Keep reading and the shock will pass. You will begin to embrace this reality and mold yourself into the man you want to be with your own strength. It's incredible to look back and see drastically positive changes.

    [–]ibuprofiend 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Or when Cypher (the guy who looks like PUA Style) tries to go back into the Matrix.

    It's easy to see why so many guys stay plugged-in when the truth is so awful. At some point they wonder, "if my goal is to be happy in life, maybe ignoring these terrible truths and being a beta is a better option after all."

    But most of us can never go back, even if we want to.

    [–]antariusz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Which is a pretty funny comparison since the PUA Style "plugged back in" at the end of his best selling book, only to later be burned by his "unicorn". AWALT.

    [–]ibuprofiend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Oh I forgot that... nice parallel.

    Idk what exactly was meant by that at the end of The Game. It could have been

    1. Just a tactic to sell books. "After buying this book, not only can you take home hordes of bar sluts, you can even get your dream girl!"

    2. Been intended to take the edge off and make it more palatable. (Just like how in older literary works that include transgressive elements the radical character is often reassimilated by the dominant order at the end, for example, a feminist character end up getting married.)

    3. Evidence that AWALT is false, but that the average guy needs god-tier game to actually find a unicorn.

    From you comment, I take it that things didn't work out. Too bad... that book really had me rooting for Style.

    [–]Imapancakenom 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    You are your own haven.

    Your male friends can be a haven as well... not to talk about your feelings with, but to have good times with and get your spirits raised.

    If you need to talk about your feelings with someone, call your mom.

    [–]Reddthrown 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Come on, it's just women. Plenty of havens - just not around women you want to sleep with. Get an interest other than girls.

    [–]MikeyCSGO 10 points11 points  (4 children)

    If you think about it, all the safety nets and emotional support you would get if you were a woman just allows you be stagnant as a human being. There is no incentive to be better and no repercussions for doing nothing.

    TRP submitters will often harp on girls for having no personality or any real character. I'm not saying AWALT but in my experience it has been pretty common.

    I don't know where I'm going with this but not needing a shoulder to cry on has allowed me to improve my life drastically. I had no job prospects where I was so I moved away with only 500$ after I got off the bus, no job lined up and no place to stay. Now I have a career in the trades and after I join the union I'll be making 100k.

    If there had been safety nets my life would still suck.

    [–]idrivesmallcars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Red pill mentality is your haven. Ignorance may be bliss, but who the fuck wants to be ignorant?

    [–]fortifiedoranges 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    What were the first few weeks like? How did you get a job? How did you find a place to live? I was never taught these things. I was never taught how to survive.

    [–]MikeyCSGO 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Got a gym membership ASAP for showers and basic hygiene. Because I moved to an area that was in a boom getting a simple job right away was easy, just told them my mailing address was back where I lived (didn't mention I was homeless) and changed it when I got a place.

    As for sleep I stayed in a hostel till I got a place to rent and used a credit card.

    One thing you will notice is when hard work is the only option it becomes second nature, take the tv, games and friends away and you become determined. Hope that helps

    [–]fortifiedoranges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks man. The gym idea is a really good one, showers/brushing teeth were some of the things I was worried about.

    [–]ProjectShamrock 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    There really is no haven for us.

    What is the point

    I have to echo what others have said about you building your own havens and that being kind of the point, but I'd like to word it differently.

    The reality of life is that what society pushes upon you isn't really all that necessary. You don't have to passively accept your surroundings, you have the power to make things how you want them. Obviously, there are exceptions, you can't make someone love you, bring back someone from the dead, etc. but you have the power to improve life for yourself if you merely grant yourself permission to do it.

    So the point is that you live in a massive universe on a small planet in a time when you have unprecedented ability to pursue your dreams and goals. We all have roadblocks along the way, but we also can unshackle our ability to push through those roadblocks and achieve our goals. My passion at the moment is playing guitar. My wife was originally neutral on it and probably expecting me to give up, then she was kind of annoyed at how much money I've spent on it as well as how much time I've put into it. Now though, I've pushed through that and she's actually proud that her husband can play music. My friends and family now know me as a "guitar guy" and not just another random person they know. This summer I started jogging, something I've never been good at. I started in August, which is the absolute worst time to start in a subtropical climate, but I pushed through. I'm now also known as a runner.

    The point is, I've got my obligations, my tragedies, and my past. Rather than dwell on that, I meet my obligations head-on, I learn from my tragedies and past mistakes and only use them to guide me into not repeating those things. My goals are forward-looking and I know that I have a finite amount of time here. Rather than wasting it all in the office or listening to my wife complain about how I load the dishwasher wrong, I'm doing things I want to do. That is the point.

    [–]smokingmonkey420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Build it and they will come.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You gotta be strong, that's the point.

    [–]stunnerman317 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    I just want to reiterate this point. No matter what a girl says to you regarding your feelings like "I want you to open up." Do not listen. It might be really hard at first because you might be happy with the attention you know you will get if you initially open up. But if you dont you will have the girl like you for a much longer time.

    [–]David_VI 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    So what about those girls who are always after the sensitive guy and disgard guys who won't 'talk'? Is it all just a mind game?

    [–]letsstartaflamewar 4 points5 points  (8 children)

    This is really true, and something I've had to learn time and time again.

    might as well throw in my sad sap story.

    I had been dating a girl for two years. we'd even moved in together. Throughout the years I was with her I was at the top of my game, great job.. involved in sports, progressing well at the gym. We were deliriously happy together. Even thinking about starting a family together.

    Sadly, around this time a close family member passed away. My uncle. a stroke got him.. it was kinda unreal how quickly he was gone. This guy meant the world to me, he'd been a mentor to me as a child. He was a mechanic. I remember these amazing afternoons working on his cars with him during the holidays.

    anyway, His death hit me pretty hard and I was pretty depressed for a while. I dropped almost all of my sports and hobbies, even took time off work. After a few days of me moping around, she asked what was wrong. I shrugged her off the first few times, but she was pretty persistent. She told me i could tell her anything, and as I'd consoled her many times when she'd broken down, she wanted to be there for me.

    So I told her.. about everything. just let it all pour out. Even started crying. There I was sobbing in her lap. To be honest, it helped. I felt better after. But, the relationship changed after that. Sex dropped off pretty quickly. It was a change after the daily rough sex we would usually have. She started going out at night with friends more, leaving me alone at home.

    After about two months. We finally had the talk. She wasn't happy anymore. Just didn't feel the spark. Still loved me, but wanted to move on with her life. she moved out about a week after that. Even got to find about my replacement, some fucking prick from her dancing class.

    But jesus.. two years.. thrown away like nothing.

    I deal with my problems myself now. Find a good punching bag at the gym, fire off some rounds at the range. I don't complain to women anymore, it does change the way they see you. And they will drop you like nothing.

    [–]Yoda7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Men are humans, women are just business.

    [–]MrMagwitch 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    .

    [–]letsstartaflamewar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks bro. You're right, plenty of guys have had it worse.

    I was pretty bitter about it for a while. I just couldn't understand how she could drop me like that. This sub has helped explain a lot of things like that.

    I've come to accept I dropped the ball on that one. It wasn't part of our relationship contract and I shouldn't have expected it to be. Otherwise she was a great girl to be with. So I don't hold that against her anymore.

    [–]apollyon_jd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    This is the age we live in, too often men will read through a few posts on a forum or social site then mix it around with their own (or what facebook has taught them) ideology add their 2 cents to the subject and present it as something tried and tested.

    Save everyone some time and as most commenters have mentioned; shut up, keep your feelings to yourself. Read a FEW books, not just one. There are plenty to help you understand what TRP is about and like everything good, it takes time for most. Spend some time evolving your mind, theory and practice.

    Women can't handle a true RP opinion on just about anything. Why? Because women can't handle the truth about how wrong they are, they eat up their own morals and accept what they feel to be the truth about any given scenario, that's why when you see these comical posts from women asking for advice they're asking other women to provide insight. "Please tell me why my boyfriend, now ex, won't talk to me after I asked for an open relationship, I'm losing my mind".. or "I broke up with my bf because he wouldn't take me out, I found out later that he has a ton of money, I'm not a gold digger but isn't he supposed to want to buy me things with that money, why isn't he answering my calls or texts anymore?" Read a book and have your life changed, start with The Rational Male, it's a good starting point. It'll save you from commenting filth and diminishing the good that is this sub.

    The OP said it best "There is no reason, at all, ever, to discuss your feelings with a woman. Firstly it's a waste of your time because they don't care (they get no validation or attention from it after all), and secondly it does irreparable harm to your frame and SMV, and is a sure fire way to render any vagina as dry as the sahara in minutes." The next time a woman wants to talk about feelings tell her to talk to one of her girlfriends, she'll thank you later for it.

    [–]aBitClearer 13 points14 points  (4 children)

    WOW! Great post OP and so very timely, as this last weekend reminded me just how true OP's words are.

    Three months ago, SO of one year unceremoniously and coldly disposes of me over the phone in 3 short sentences. I replied, "OK" , and hung up. I knew then that ANY response to her would be futile.

    Over the last few months, she reached out to me thru emails and texts, trying to lure me back. I resisted.

    This weekend, I failed. She made a social request of me, which I granted- details unimportant. Missing sex, I suggested that we get together for the weekend and fuck each others brains out. She said she wanted more than that, an d I told her to forget it then. She gave in and agreed.

    BUT WHO WAS THE ONE WHO GAVE IN??

    Me. She did not deserve to be with me, but I let my guard down for a piece of fucking ass. Good sex twice and two lame orgasms with them, and two good blow jobs, one excellent with a rousing finish, but still NOT WORTH WHAT i HAD TO PAY WITH MY ACTUAL TIME AND PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ENERGY.

    So I listened to all her ramblings, her FEELINGS, AND ALL HER BORING STORIES and her half-assed apology for disposing of me in such a cold manner. She thought that was good enough for me to take her back.

    Then I told her what I thought and what I felt....

    Did it work out for me?? Nope! No more than it worked out for me when I told me EX wife how I felt when she did the things she did, and said the things she said.

    Ex-SO's eyes get wide, start to tear-up and her equivocations, her rationalizations began. She went on defense, did a bit a gas lighting, and I lost frame, which I regained quickly. I am proud of that, but not proud of my decision to have her over to satisfy my lust, and disgusted with myself for sharing my feelings with a woman/child and loosing self-control and respect.

    I asked her to leave. She did. I did not have it in me to shut the door on her, but instead, let held a MEGA-BETA-LONG embrace, with her crying on my shoulder. Thanks be to me and the Gods that I held frame and just listened.

    What I should have done is listened to myself in the first place and saved myself and all the time and energy it took.

    One positive side note- She knew I was dating and my phone blew-up ALL weekend with texts/calls from dates and potential dates. She knew because I told her and I caught her looking at my locked phone which had texts/missed calls on my home screen from women with their names and dating site they came from. She had to leave my home which I own (she has an appt), and she got to see the improvements in my body that had developed over the last three months. She also got to see and experience the improvements to my home that I had made since she was there last, much like the improvements in my body, two things she will never have the privilege of seeing again

    If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't. Its the Fuck Yes/Fuck No Rule and I failed, but learned a lesson.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Yeah dude, you're just too emotional and you're blaming it on her.

    You got to spin her as a plate for a bit, no need to let it take up so much mental bandwidth.

    [–]idrivesmallcars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Gotta get your DW somehow... Don't sweat it

    [–]TRP_James 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Haha I use this method to name my contacts as well. "Jessica@Tinder, WhoreFace@POF"

    [–]rockumsockumrobots 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Women are programmed to be nurturing towards their young, not their men.

    It's so sad we have to "learn" this aspect of the traditional family. The only time my parents butted heads, was when my father showed weakness. Women want men to "handle" it and don't want to hear the why or how behind it.

    Even if the family is run into the ground, the woman will be placated if her reality is "secure."

    [–]moon_is_cheese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    "Because women don't care about how YOU feel, they only care about how YOU make THEM feel." This can be applied in general to everyone. Notice how when people feel happy, they rarely include you in their happiness. However, when they feel sad or depressed, then they can whore a lot of attention.

    [–]tatti_ke_tukde 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This subreddit should be renamed to 'absolute truth' or something. Fucking right on, OP.

    [–]BluepillProfessor 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    It is more than just "not caring" about your emotions. THEY ARE ACTIVELY AND POWERFULLY REPELLED BY YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. AWALT.

    Any woman will blather on about how she wants you to "Open up" and "tell her your problems" and then ANY woman will dry up like the planet Mars after about an hour of you being a negative, soul draining whiney-boy.

    They may not leave you right away but they WILL stop fucking you almost immediately. They may even give you 1-2 pity fucks and THEN you will find yourself in the desert of sexual withdrawal.

    Women are repulsed by the thought of fucking their children. If you show negative emotions and try to get her to validate you, and kiss your boo-boo and make it all better, then you are her child, NOT her MAN.

    [–]saibot83 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Very well put OP. I forgot this simple rule recently with a girl and lapsed into my old beta-self. The result: We're no longer "friends" or even talking. Before I ever mentioned anything about my feelings she was very responsive and constantly sought my complete validation. I was flirty and always talked dirty sex stuff with her when we spoke irl and online. Then I stupidly fell for her and revealed my feelings (when we had a fight about me hurting her feelings. That she hurt mine too didn't even remotely sink in) and BAM... no more contact. It sucks even more because we work at the same company so we kinda have to be civil like that. But it's really infected right now.

    [–]Carbuncl3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Yeah man I went though the same thing. Although went pretty close to sex, I got neurotic and lost frame. Her having a "lost count" count, and constant male attention seeking attitude I'm an idiot for trying to make her my girlfriend and talk about feelings. Haha.

    [–]punis1 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    Do yourself a favour gentlemen, keep your feelings to yourself.

    I disagree with this, and I'll tell you why, you should try to nurture strong bonds with other men. This way you might find companionship, sense of belonging and validation that you so desperately crave and keep asking from women. Women will never be able to fulfill you, you'll have to fulfill yourself alone and through friendship with other males. Women are not attracted to empty vessels as they are one themselves, seeking attention and validation from others.

    Find a shared interest with other fellow men and do it, there's so many activities you can do with other males: watching sports, hunting, fishing, working out, etc. You'll live a happier live and raise your SMV in the process.

    [–]Samiswise_ 11 points12 points  (3 children)

    I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this but here it goes.

    Women do care about your feelings aside from the ones that give them tingles. When you are in an LTR with a woman, your SO wants to feel needed, she wants to "help" you with your problems. It's important to let her know what's going on in your head if you're having a rough time. Women can tell if there is something off about you. However, don't tell her everything. Let out little bits of information. Tell her what you've been struggling with, followed by how you're going to figure everything out.

    She doesn't actually want to help. She wants to feel needed. When you let out these little bits of information she gets the validation that she's helping you, which makes her feel good. When you follow it up with a plan and let her know everything is alright because you've figured out what you need to do, she see's you as a strong confident man who can handle his own shit.

    Don't be a completely emotionless rock. Have emotions, share a small percentage of them with her. But let her know that you've got everything taken care of. She will be happy that you opened up to her because she wants to be a part of your life, and your emotions are a huge part of your life. Furthermore, she will also see that you can handle things on your own but chose to let HER in when you could have easily gone elsewhere. In response she will get the wettest of tingles because she feels validated and knows you're a man.

    [–]Abreseyes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You just have to look at the 80/20 rule, ever been out with a girl and after the first date she's not interested? Does she treat you with any respect or honesty afterwards? No.

    Once she's rules you out as a potential you become one of the 80%, IE invisible,not worth her time

    [–]squeaky_toy_of_death 13 points14 points  (7 children)

    Female here, can confirm. Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted bitch but I at least I'm honest.

    [–]redkick 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Dishonesty is the main problem men face today from women. Most women teach you BP stuff while acting RP.

    [–]TekkomanKingz 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    Are you a lesbian? I don't understand what the point of having a relationship with a Man is if you don't care about his mental well being. Might as well just get a robot or cyborg.

    [–]MisterZen7 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    All women care about is what you can do for them. The faster men understand this and accept it.. the easier their lives will become.

    [–]babybelly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    honestly, who cares about a guys feelings?

    [–]violent_frame 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I've found a way to talk about my feelings, but I have a process, I will usually divulge a little bit and then cut it off. If they press then cool they are interested in me, but I make them ask twice, then I spend a lot of time figuring out how I can say it an as few words as possible.

    BTW no one cares about your feelings but your mom, dudes don't like emoters either, keep that shit to yourself.

    [–]Yoda7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    If you want to blather on, get a dog, or go to the shrink. Maybe a bartender will pretend to listen if you are tipping enough. Thats about it.

    [–]Joshua_grahame 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    I have been in multiple relationships where this is applicable theory. But my last relationship I can say the girl did actually care about my feelings. I never really voiced them to her, but she went out of her to do things for me. When I asked her why she did such actions she would tell me it was cause she was considering how I would feel. I never had to tell her or ask her to do something, she would actually think before she did something and took me into consideration. I am willing to say she was a 1 in 100 girls, just wanted to point out the theory you suggested is not related to all females.

    [–]zuk1 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    she might care about your feelings but she doesn't want to hear about it is the point.

    [–]jobs33ker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    TRP as a subreddit and RP theory in general is not meant to be exposed to as many people as it is now (80k+) and especially given the delivery mechanism (reddit) you're going to get a lot of dumb, angry friendzoned losers here who just want to use rp make things work with "this one girl" who they're currently orbiting.

    I knew once the members spiked up high enough this sub would decay. This sub cannot continue to produce good content given the democratic model. The newbies will just upvote crap like they've been doing, and not just crap but ideas straight out of the purple pill. I've sometimes wondered if it's been a concerted effort on the part of srs or some other like minded, time wasting idiots, to undermine the subreddit. But I doubt it.

    I have to say I appreciate what the mods have done recently, but in my opinion they made a mistake with that "no concern trolling" thread. That was created right after a rather large spike in membership, with a subsequent influx of crap posts, and anyone who tried to speak up about it was blasted for "concern trolling". This basically helped getting the newbie posts upvoted since the new hitler mod wanted to show he was "serious". Other than that though, I think the mods here have done well.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Be thankful to be a man and have the strength to deal with the shit life throws at you without needin to be lifted by those around you. I don't want to rely on anybody but myself.

    Would it be nice to have a woman that understands and keeps the attraction at the same time? Absolutely. But I'm glad it's not something that's expected or needed toget by.

    [–]pchiodo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    give them the rough fucking they so desperately crave.

    Now that is the best bit of epiphany in the post.

    If you think a woman wants you to make sweet love to them, you are delusional. They want you to pound the fuck out of them. To grab their hair, bite their neck, manhandle their breasts, and pound the fuck out of them. Yep I said it twice. And I'll say it again...pound the fuck out of them!

    [–]Vietnom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Telling a woman your true feelings may not make you an alpha, but being afraid to say what you actually think or feel around a woman is about as beta as it gets.

    [–]idrivesmallcars 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    Maybe I'm an exception to the rule, but I have plenty of girl-friends that I can turn to if I am coming down with the feels, or if I need advice/strategy on how to deal with a triflin ass bish. So far they have never steered me wrong. The majority of them are also girls I used to fuck

    [–]RedPill_S 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    Key words at the end there... "used to". Ask the wise old fishermen how to fish, don't ask the fish.

    [–]idrivesmallcars 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    That's what the relationship was... we just wanted to fuck each other. Pretty straight forward. Who says you can't be friends after you both mutually lose interest?

    [–]primordialbeast85 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Agreed, ex's make great friends imo. I love talking to ex's about shit like that.

    [–]redkick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's my main gripe with this subreddit (not RP itself). Most people here always assume that every man here wants to fuck every woman out there.

    I have quite a few female acquaintances I can talk to frankly, because I don't want any sexual relationship with them. They might think of me as a BP, but why should I care? They still can provide good input on various topics, especially to learn how women in general thinks. They also learn quickly that they can be brutally honest, because they aren't in any competition with me (as opposed to when they're talking to their female friends).

    I just have to make sure that these women never meet the women I want to fuck :)

    [–]2c3d4e 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    this post explained the red pill mentality perfectly, gave me a better perspective on it and what I need to change. Thank you OP.

    [–]Ek70R 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    thanks for this red pill, no more pussiness for me fuck this shit Im keeping my feelings to myself from now on, thanks man

    [–]fifth0 -2 points-1 points  (14 children)

    You are following an extremist and what seems like completely reactionary idea.

    Worse, that it's some kind of success story for an obvious beta orbiter to come here, read a few headlines, and then profess their feelings to their disinterested target and awkwardly break free from their orbit by stamping their feet and whining that "they just can't do it anymore" (waa waa waa).

    What you fail to realize is that this shit doesn't happen over night. Sure we can agree that reading this shit is annoying, but the reason these people do this is that this is their first encounter with THEIR actions having consequences. Agreed though it's annoying.

    There is no reason, at all, ever, to discuss your feelings with a woman.

    This is flat out wrong. "Feelings" are the things that give us both men and women humanity. If you think feelings are restricted to boohooing then you are missing the point of how we as humans communicate. Expressing your feelings and being alpha are not mutually exclusive. In fact quite the opposite being able to accurately use how you feel or what you want to project in a given situation gives you the upper hand in making a decision not only for you, but for those around you women included.

    Why? Because women don't care about how YOU feel, they only care about how YOU make THEM feel.

    You sound extremely butt hurt. Realistically no one should care how you feel. What matters is that you care how you feel and that it is important to you.

    They care about the tingles you give them when you maintain your alpha frame and the SMV you have in public.

    Why are you dancing like a puppet then?

    hey care about the orgasm you give them when you let your testosterone take over and give them the rough fucking they so desperately crave.

    This is bad?

    Displaying any trait that reflects poorly on your ability to be a strong protector and provider is infuriating to a woman, because nothing annoys a woman more than accidentally fucking a beta.

    Your whole post makes it sound like you are having more of an identity crisis more than anything else.

    EDIT: Down vote away. But your sociopathic jihad on your feelings will only bring you to a sense of hollowness have fun.

    [–]ibuprofiend 12 points13 points  (6 children)

    Upvoting not because I agree with all your points, but because there has been growing extremism here.

    OP mentions the noob posers who think that just subscribing makes them experts even though they don't change their behavior. But there's another kind of newbie poser: the kind who reads the sidebar, takes it as his Koran, and starts waging jihad. "Rollo Tomassi said not to seek validation from others, so any guy who ever smiles is a worthless beta faggot." "Sociopaths are the best people in the world, I wish I could acquire their mental disorder." "You're not a complete nihilist so you're still plugged in and anything you say is feminized trash."

    Another example: I recently made a post asking for good questions to ask a girl on a first date to get to know her, and most of the responses boiled down to "asking questions is wrong and if you can't entertain a girl for hours without any input from her, you're not alpha enough and don't deserve a girl."

    That kind of fanaticism should be be discouraged. The world isn't as black and white—or alpha and beta—as some people want to think.

    I fully expect that these people will downvote me and prove my point.

    [–]Sippin_that_Haterade 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    I wholeheartedly agree with you here. New subscribers need to realize that we speak in generalities, because they are effective in getting a point across. What you read may not literally be true, and reading between the lines is a must. Hopefully this is just a phase while a lot of new subscribers work through their anger.

    [–]fifth0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I think the evolutionary path here needs to be fleshed out and publicized more. Because reflecting on it now, I too had these same feelings of angst and anger that the OP exhibits when I was young and fresh on these ideas. But my greater point remains true to almost 10 years of experience on this subject.

    You can not and will not live a truly content life with anger and resentment towards any one or anything else, male or female. The OP and many of the anecdotes presented here are bleed with resentment towards specific people.

    [–]fifth0 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Your points are correct. This thread has quickly swarmed with guys circle jerking about their own anecdotes and confirmation bias.

    Their path of a black and white world will be reinforced by the echo chamber they steep themselves in. They will not achieve a larger sense of self, only a hallow disdain. This will act as a self serving mechanism to affirm their belief.

    [–]ibuprofiend 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I just noticed the post "Reality Check: Dark Triad and Monk Mode" on the TRP front page and was elated. Apparently we're not the only ones here who think TRP has been growing trite and fanatical as the subscriber base has ballooned.

    [–]fifth0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thank you I will have to give this a read next.

    [–]redkick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Another example: I recently made a post asking for good questions to ask a girl on a first date to get to know her, and most of the responses boiled down to "asking questions is wrong and if you can't entertain a girl for hours without any input from her, you're not alpha enough and don't deserve a girl."

    Could have been a while ago, but there was a post here that said that blabbering on all of the time is pure BP, and you just stop and let the woman talk. Both can't be true at the same time.

    [–]skylineboulevard 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    I get what you're saying but when I display the general traits lauded on this subreddit I feel happier. I feel like I am being true to my nature, not the bullshit behaviors I was raised with.

    It doesn't feel like I need to put on an act, instead it feels liberating. But notice I used the words "feel" a lot. There is a very important aspect of emotionality involved with being masculine. To me it means controlling your emotions, having them work for your benefit instead of blowing you around like a leaf in the wind.

    [–]fifth0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Your post is spot on. Continue applying this in a healthy way.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    You make very good points but I guess the personal attacks you made on the OP got people butt hurt which is why you're getting downvoted.

    Have my upvote.

    [–]timewaitsforsome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    then it's settled, women are a waste of my time.

    [–]stannisthemantisk 3 points4 points  (10 children)

    This is what's wrong with this sub. Generalizations everywhere. Yeah there are a lot of bitches but there are decent women too. Maybe it's because I'm from a different country and culture etc where majority (not all) of women are in check and not the bitches you guys describe. Maybe because most of the users here are talking about western women? I'm not hating on this sub at all, there is a lot of great content around here, especially about self-improvement. but we gotta stop generalizing.

    [–]moiez326 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    100% agree. Just so much generalization about what women want and what women are programmed for.

    [–]Burner1701 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    I've been married 17 years and my wife usually cares about my feelings, she demonstrates that over and over. I don't know what kind of women OP spends time with, but if you choose the right woman to marry then you don't need to be a rock all the time. Sharing the rough stuff and the great stuff is what it's all about. Lately she had to repeatedly choose between comforting me or comforting our daughter and she chose me. Maybe most women are like OP says, I wouldn't know, but don't just assume they all are or you might overlook the few actual nice ones who are out there.

    [–]redkick 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    My theory is that if there are good ones, they are in LTR from a pretty young age and loyal, and so you never ever get even close to them, and so they don't matter for anybody else. If these unicorns really exist, they are irrelevant.

    [–]Muzzygooner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I now get off on breaking up with girls who think they are doing me a favor by being with me, the shock reaction that they have and the endless texts about how they never liked me and I'm an asshole blah blah blah...Feels so good.

    [–]FreetoFire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thank you for this. I really need to get this point through my head.

    [–]Indianbro 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Then why the hell do women seek so desperately "deep secrets" from men? Is it so they can establish a deep connection or is it most likely a shit test to assess your frame?