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[–]AchillesOtherLeg 22 points23 points  (4 children)

I believe there's merit in what you're saying. Since you ask about positive impacts of gaming though...

What you're describing is asceticism which has much to recommend it for defined time periods while you're trying to achieve some specific goal. That can even be long periods if your goal is large or complex. One of the things I do during what I here describe as monk mode is uninstall all my games on day 1.

But we need to control stress. No joke, it will kill you if you don't manage it. There are all sorts of outlets and you should cultivate more than one but gaming is great for just letting the mind graze on a simple but rewarding puzzle. After an hour or so gaming I am very relaxed. Kill your stress or it will kill you.

As an aside on the subject of controlling addictive behaviours - you may notice the connection above in the term "simple but rewarding". Addictions are all about cheating your way to some mental/physical reward. The most effective method bar none that I've found for stopping any behaviour that I wanted to cut out was to make it non trivial to engage in that behaviour. This prevents doing something on impulse which is what happens when you unthinkingly do something you didn't want to do.

The example here is uninstalling your games. You can't just launch the app and play, you would have to run through the install and sort out your settings. Impossible to do on impulse. You would have to consciously go through the requirements over the course of several minutes in order to sate your craving.

Another one where I use this is in dieting. If there is nothing in your fridge but healthy stuff that is already set aside for planned meals then you cannot snack on anything unless you go to the shops and buy something. Going to the shops cannot be done on impulse and would require you to get your cash and travel to the store, go through checkout etc. The conscious mind would have to engage with doing that for many minutes so it's impossible to get fucked over by your autopilot.

You can extend that technique to any behaviour that is bothering you. Just make it difficult enough to engage in that it requires conscious effort and you will immediately have control over how often you're behaving that way.

[–]dawg826 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meditation is great for stress. It is hard and not very rewarding at first but once you get into it and really start shedding layers of your psyche it becomes immensely pleasurable.

[–]1grendalor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Good advice.

What you really need to do, though, if you are someone trying to do that is not just uninstall, but really get rid of the gaming computer and use one that isn't good for playing games (not hard to find, since most are not very good for games). In this era it is too easy to reinstall games from the internet. Not a short impulse thing, but if it takes "only" a couple of hours to download, and costs nothing because you already "own" it, it's still within the "impulse" threshold, I think. Of course, you could also run out and get a new gaming PC to replace the one you got rid of, but that's a higher barrier, especially the cost, and so will present less of an impulse issue.

When I was coming out of a fog of gaming I entered into in the couple of years after my divorce (this was about 8 years ago), I decided to get rid of my then gaming computer and since then have only used baseline computers which are good enough for my photography processing needs, but don't have the kind of graphics acceleration generally required for good gaming performance. That decision was a good one, and turned out to be a permanent one.

[–]AchillesOtherLeg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes absolutely, the threshold for what is trivial enough not to stop someone will be different depending on the person and the compulsion.

As always, know thyself. It looks like you've got it covered.

[–]juiceperks 117 points118 points  (48 children)

reaching a high level in SC2 or WoW involves intaking a comparable amount of information that someone might be exposed to in a year of college.

Hits so close to home, WOW stole two years of my life and was the primary reason I dropped out of college.

I seriously got so fucking good at that game it was better than real life.. I was the most popular dude in my guild, shit on people in PVP and even had regular skype sex with a WoW 10 (6.5 IRL)... It was ridiculous..

I've had problems with addiction my whole life and gaming was the worst one of all. Started out so harmless, playing at night with all my friends.. At first it just replaced partying and extracurricular activities but soon I was skipping glass whenever possible and my social, physical, and mental health were devastated (happened in that order).

It took dropping out of college and getting cut off by my parents to wake me up..

I'd like to think I have recovered now, 7 years later.. But I'd be lying if I said that the depression and anxiety that those two years laid on me is completely gone.. Oh well, Cest la vie.

Nothing I can do now but make the most of each day..

[–]bigyellowtwinki 28 points29 points  (4 children)

I hear you brother, I wasted my college years playing CS and a few others, it really set me up for complete failure and I've struggled to get ahead... even a decade later. If you want to be a slave to your student loans and have no good work experience by 30, then by all means go ahead and play video games.

[–]CharlieNun 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Games destroyed my undergrad. Took me ten years of proactive self-work to get where am today, mostly recovered and relatively successful, and which is beyond anything I thought myself capable of back then. And it really did take ten years of effort to get on track.

[–]iStillEatSnakes 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I was a C&C and LoL nerd. I snapped out of it not too long ago, but still have a lobg way to go. Holy hell I wasted so much time.

[–]the_real_chronos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here bro. I must have put in over a thousand hours into LoL in less than a year. It was crazy.

My life was basically "go to class, get out, play LoL" THAT WAS IT.

So glad I'm out of that shit now.

[–]merkmerk73 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's so funny what a microcosm MMOs can be.

My big addiction to WoW was in 2004-2006, but for that time period I was pretty famous on the server as the #1 main tank for the #1 raid guild.

Sounds so silly, but I'd run around and people who I didn't know already knew me.

And just like in real life, that kind of status meant lots of e-poon was throwing itself at me regularly. Most of these chicks were probably 3-7, with 7 being that rare top end.

Anyhow, just relating. I think MMOs are really, really dangerous and wouldn't let my kid play them. They're like crystal meth compared to marijuana, if marijuana was just regular games.

[–]Rainymood_XI 6 points7 points  (10 children)

social, physical, and mental health were devastated (happened in that order).

fuck. Im at stage 1, is it too late yet?

[–]Movonnow 15 points16 points  (8 children)


Break the cycle before it's too late.

Cut all video games and replace it with gym and socializing.

[–]idrivesmallcars 2 points3 points  (7 children)

I game frequently because it's one of very few ways I get to talk and hang with friends that have moved away. When we queue up for a game, we usually have 1 person from each time zone in the US, it's kind of important to us to stay connected and have fun like that.

Also because I had a bitch of a knee reconstruction, so I've just been healing and trying not to fuck it back up in the mean time. When it's better I'm getting back into the swing of things, just can't do legs. :/

[–]hrm0894 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I seriously got so fucking good at that game it was better than real life.. I was the most popular dude in my guild, shit on people in PVP and even had regular skype sex with a WoW 10 (6.5 IRL)... It was ridiculous..

This subreddit is fucking awesome(mainly because I can relate to almost everything here).

[–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr[S] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Yeah, what you mentioned towards the end is key. The depression from the severance to your negative hobby can be worse than the years gaming. When you stop, if you do not find a purpose and long term big picture goal to work towards, then your life post-gaming can be even worse than during the raiding years so to speak.

You have to systematically break down what the gaming was doing for you socially, competitively, neurologically, etc, and find positive, engaging substitutes.

[–]Idle_Redditing 3 points4 points  (12 children)

Why do so many people play so much that it ruins the rest of their lives. Can't you just play a bit for fun while still keeping the rest of your real life in good condition?

They're fun and enjoyable but not worth ruining your life over. I do enjoy playing them.

[–]mghow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I play a little, workout a little and do other things. The OP is posting from a position of addiction and is projecting that onto others.

[–]psycho-logical 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Balance is key. You can play games for fun while maintaining a social life, gym, success etc...

And by balance I'm not talking about Druids.

[–]CoNoCh0 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I think it's great to identify that anything in life can be an addiction. You don't have to stop. Just realize that things should be taken in moderation.

[–]Sinborn 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The most popular games are designed to be addictive and give you the desire to play as much as (more than?) you can. It's hard to find a good casual gaming experience you can just pick up for a few minutes and not feel the overwhelming urge to beat the entire game.

[–]1aguy01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cause you don't realize you are ruining your life, you are just doing something that feels really good.

[–]Dubiousxy 91 points92 points  (14 children)

Everything in moderation... It's not rocket science. Anything in excess can ruin lives- food, working, drugs, sun exposure, alcohol.

I play games occasionally because in this feminised shot hole it's one of the last places I can blow stuff up and be a man.

If you find yourself passing on real life events to play a game, then you have a problem.

[–]rudeboyplakka 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Exactly.. If you want to spend all your free time grinding on games and not in real life you have a problem. I play games close to everyday but only when all my business is taken care of.

[–]ValarMorghulis90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This. I play WoW, but yesterday after my classes I went and worked out, showered, and took care of my other business before the casual raid we had that night. I raid 6 hours a week, just enough to clear on the new non-hardcore difficulty. Balance in all things. If you can't control yourself, then yes, you should quit. If you are blowing off important people for video games, then yes you should quit. I would like to point out, that sometimes you don't want to be around people IRL, and that it's good to escape to avoid relieve stress.

[–]bigyellowtwinki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You realize that this is like telling a fat person that dessert is best in moderation? Of course they understand that, everyone does, but they can't imagine life without dessert, and are fully addicted. OP is trying to reach the guys who are fat and don't care.

[–]SwissPablo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get home from work at night and spend a couple of hours playing something as a way to relax. More importantly if I'm invited out for a meal, or have friends over, the games go off.

[–]DAEHateRatheism 27 points28 points  (72 children)

Would you say the same analysis applies to playing a musical instrument?

I've recently replaced video games with learning Piano, which is something I've always wanted to do, but now I expend all this effort practicing and don't really go out. So have I just traded gaming for an even more demanding distraction?

Fundamentally, music is more fulfilling than video games. It's more organic. It's much more real than some artificial world created by a bunch of underpaid programmers. But still it's energy I'm not putting into my career or SMV.

Also, what about games that are played offline? Fighting games, card games, board games. Could these be considered worthwhile because they actually have a social element?

[–]ucancallmehansum 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I replaced videogames with guitar with great success.

If you pursue a passion intensely enough, sometimes you can make a pretty big return. My old Japanese high school teacher saw me play some very technical Heavy Metal at my school's talent show. I shredded it so badly, she inquired to see if I would teach her daughter and a couple of her friends electric guitar over the summer. Imagine that, a high-schooler living in the ghetto getting paid $60/hour over the summer to play guitar with cute little Japanese girls!! She even tried to get my to date her daughter! The effects multiplied as I was able to save up for computer for college. I'm not sure the same could be said so easily for someone playing competitive videogames. It could happen, just much less likely.

Also, there is some sexiness to being able to go to an open mic and play a song you wrote in front of a crowd of strangers. SO many lays I would never have gotten otherwise.

[–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr[S] 7 points8 points  (43 children)

Interesting question. It's better, because learning the piano likely made you smarter, it gave you a few areas I imagine you're decently knowledgable about (music theory, etc), it trained your dexterity and coordination, your aural sense, and your rhythm.

These are all skills. They are objectively perfectly fine skills that many people use in their day to day lives. So think of it like this - IF you can figure out a way to use all of the skills you've developed by really digging in deep into the piano and pouring your passion into it... then yes, the piano is infinitely useful and your investment in it paid off.

If you use piano to escape for a few years and you use what you learned in those years to DO SOMETHING, then the piano had its purpose. I spent years playing the same old stupid game in clubs, just like a video game, over and over just approaching and reading game and trying it again. But it all day a purpose because I was learning confidence, persistance, IDGAF, facial control, being extroverted, and speedily handling logistics. This made me a lot better at my first real job, sales, which led me to be able to save up enough for grad school, and so on - time spent in PU paid off 100 fold.

Even though PU was basically me just playing a real world "video game". It's all about transferrable skills; what have you learned from the piano that you can use to do stuff in the real world?

[–]8251771528 11 points12 points  (42 children)

learning the piano likely made you smarter

no, it didnt. it makes him versatile, but not smarter. you dont know what "smart" is.

It's better

thats just your opinion, not a rule. its better from your point of you.

it trained your dexterity and coordination

oh.. i see. gaming doesnt?

to me, you just seem upset that you got addicted to gaming. and now you are trying to blame it for your problems. gaming is the problem - right? not your bad impuls control.

what is hindering you to get a high SMV, to strife highly in your career? to work out? to socialize? you, or gaming?

its the lazyness. the priorities. sure, its easy to feel success in gaming. but you should know this success comes easy.

the piano is infinitely useful and your investment in it paid off.

you say that because it's pulling pussy easily. but you dont have to play the piano to archieve that.. and you definitely can be a gamer.

if you can pull it off, you can pull it off no matter what.

[–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr[S] 9 points10 points  (24 children)

Actually it does make you smarter - learning a musical instrument has a variety of agreed upon mental / brain benefits.

This has nothing to do with my personal feelings towards gaming. I am not blaming gaming for anything, and I am certainly not saying you can't be successful and game. Gaming is objectively worse than other hobbies because the skill provides zero utility (with a few obvious exceptions - if playing games helps you design great games and that's your living, sure). Other hobbies do provide utility. If all you can do is argue that gaming is "not bad" and it "doesn't hurt much" then that's... a bad hobby. The absence of a negative does not make it a positive.

Re-read the post, I'm not breaking it down for someone who's just looking to disagree for the sake of disagreeing.

[–]1nf4m0uz 5 points6 points  (21 children)

So does gaming. Check the portal 2 experiment.

[–]relationshipdownvote 3 points4 points  (14 children)

oh.. i see. gaming doesnt? to me, you just seem upset that you got addicted to gaming. and now you are trying to blame it for your problems. gaming is the problem - right? not your bad impuls control.

The difference between gaming and playing the piano is that not everyone can teach themselves how to play the piano. All it takes to play video games is enough money to buy the system. Anyone can sit there and mindlessly push buttons.

[–]PictureTraveller 3 points4 points  (24 children)

well playing an instrument gives you a skill in return. playing video games is just useless.

[–]DAEHateRatheism 25 points26 points  (20 children)

Why is an instrument a skill but being an expert at StarCraft not?

Or rather, why is this distinction of "skill" so important?

[–]dicklord_airplane 8 points9 points  (0 children)

you can entertain with an instrument or a good voice. you can provide value to others with musical skill. girls will be attracted to you and people will want to befriend you if you have the skill and confidence to play music and/or sing well.

who the fuck wants to watch you play starcraft? what girl is going to get wet from seeing you obsessively bent over a childish toy? you've got a lot to learn.

[–][deleted]  (8 children)


    [–]Logseman 8 points9 points  (6 children)

    If you get into videogames with the mindset that they're an alternative that replaces real life you're facing videogames the wrong way.

    [–]1grendalor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    It depends on what it "gets" for you.

    Music, photography, similar kinds of things are skills that engage others in the real world (assuming you go out and play piano, take pictures of people and share them and so on). They are skills which demonstrate mastery of something which is socially valued -- by men and women alike. Therefore what you "get" from mastering them can be significant if you are willing to put in the effort to develop genuine mastery of them.

    Becoming a badass at SC or WoW or LoL or what have you is difficult and time-consuming, but has no social value beyond the game community itself. Outside of the gaming world, what you do in games has no accepted social value, and likely never will, because it is merely gaming. This is why the attempt to make some very competitive games like SC and LoL into "e-sports" has met with only limited success in the West (not going to talk about Korea, we don't live there, not our culture). Unlike athletic sports, which people in general can admire due to the generally accepted social valuing of athleticism, "e-sports" have no underlying skill which is socially valued: people are never going to view being very nimble at pushing a series of keyboard buttons in the same way they will view athleticism in the hierarchy of "skills". That will likely never change in our culture.

    So, yes, scale down or ditch the gaming, and fill that with mastery of other things that engage you AND are socially valuable, and watch your life improve in almost every way. When I started to move over to photography away from gaming 8 or so years ago, it was a learning curve, but now 8 years later I take great pictures, and have made a LOT of social contacts through photography, because I have mastered a skill which is broadly admired. It's worth finding something like that, and replacing gaming with it.

    [–]PictureTraveller 8 points9 points  (6 children)

    well ideally you'd want to learn a skill you will get something tangible from (money, fitness, knowledge...) but if you want to learn something purely for your love of it then you would be better off sinking that time and willpower in an artistic endeavor like learning an instrument rather than video games that are just mimicking situations that trigger the chemical response you would get from achieving something (hence the short term satisfaction) without actually delivering anything (hence the feeling like shit/depression)

    [–]1Mikesapien 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    What feeling of shit/depression? Are you extrapolating this to all gamers? Many of us find it a rewarding pastime. It's not vicarious or a substitute for something else; the thing itself is enjoyable.

    [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr[S] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

    Yup - couldn't have said it better. The distinction between coordinating a terran offensive and learning to play the guitar or turn a canvas into something beautiful is that the latter situation, you still have poured your love into creating something. Even if it's crappy, even if you won't make money or gain approval off of it, you'll feel more energized, self-confident, and you'll have more rationalizations in your brain for why you should act as a high-status, interesting person.

    [–]alpha_n3rd 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    This this this. Anybody downvoting this is obviously a butthurt otaku who never sees daylight. Anybody who thinks that video game sk33lz are somehow superior to musical skills is a retard. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

    [–]t-_-j 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    superior to musical skills

    Never saw anyone saying that. Straw man?

    [–]juanqunt 52 points53 points  (1 child)

    If you are addicted then sure, but treating games like they are crack is ridiculous. If you treat them like movies: playing occasionally to relax a bit, there's nothing wrong with that. The problem is taking them too seriously.

    The problem is getting involved with competitive gaming and that culture, and getting sucked into that world rather than the real world. Never lose yourself in a game or measure your success through how good you are at games. If you can control yourself, you can cut back time and play casually just to deload your CNS... or get yourself an exercise bike at home and only play when you are doing cardio at the same time.

    It's impossible to be focused every second of the day, some times you're more efficient after taking a break. The key is to take breaks in moderation and not just game during every break you take. Go outside and have other hobbies as well.

    Now I know I need to cut back recently since I have some extra free time, but I've gone through plenty of times before when I'd not touch any games for months and not even realize it, so I know I don't have an addiction problem. The key is to remind yourself that there are other more important things to do when you start to game too much.

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 92 points93 points  (27 children)

    At 24 I feel like I just out grew video games. The real world is just way more exciting. On the other hand Reddit is kind of a video game. Its sort of a competitive writing video game. This post probably took at least an hour to write. Why dud you write this? Some of it came from a need to express your ideas in a male space. However some if it probably came from a competitive desire to beat other writers. Either way Reddit masterbation especially our high level brand hones our writing skills. Skyrim has none.

    I learned how to read by playing pokemon Red after moving from Russia. So maybe video games have some benefit for yong children.

    [–]gravgp2003 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    I did for a while, but got back into them. I consider playing video games as one of my hobbies. I usually get on about three days a week (two of those days is Saturday and Sunday mornings). The sessions usually last from 9am-12 on Sat/Sun and from 530-730 on a Tues or Wed.

    After I'm done I go to the gym. I still have time to work, eat, shower, play in a band, go out, or do anything that anyone else does. It may be an unpopular opinion, but TRP shames men into not playing video games. Just because OP lost his life to games, doesn't mean than you should give them up all together. If you lack discipline, then yea give them up, but if it just one thing that you do a few times a week, then play on.

    Guys on here are so self-righteous when it comes to gaming. I do as much if not more than anyone else and still have time to game. At least make it an option to "limit game time." What kind of control is it for you to stop playing games because you can't control yourself and limit time? The problem is that all the people that advocate never playing games are the ones that abused them the most. It is like alcoholics telling people not to drink. Yea you fucked up, but that doesn't mean I am ruining my life by having a little fun.

    [–]Areimanes 13 points14 points  (10 children)

    At 24 I feel like I just out grew video games.

    Couldn't agree more.

    Furthermore, where does one find the time to play hours of video games?

    Between work, gym, hobbies and going out with some friends, I don't really have a whole lot of time to play video games. If I really tried and skimmed on other activities I could maybe squeeze in an hour or two every day.

    [–]duodan 10 points11 points  (7 children)

    Furthermore, where does one find the time to play hours of video games?

    One doesn't. I played WoW as a kid, but the older I get, the more I've shifted to no-commitment games, like LoL, FIFA, and F1. I can set up a match or race and can cleanly walk away in 30-45 minutes. I get a quick fix and don't feel like I've wasted the day.

    [–]___bateman___ 12 points13 points  (3 children)

    quick fix

    Jesus christ it is literally a drug lol

    [–]duodan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Not a great choice of words in my post, but...aren't they?

    [–]REDitor100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I've learned that you don't find time. You make time. Gaming becomes a priority and other aspects of your life get put onto the back burner.

    Also, people should learn not to even have games as a topic of conversation if their goal is not to play. It's like a smoker who's quitting and talking about cigarettes. You know what's going to happen next.

    [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr[S] 9 points10 points  (8 children)

    I would say karma is a simple but effective gamification method and playing the karma game is the problem. It encourages people to spout opinions they know will be popular in order to gain karma and feel good. The writing aspect and sharing of info is something that used to be a social, in-person aspect of our culture, but unfortunately it's not there anymore, and when it is, often the advice is horrible. It's why reddit is a fantastic, shitty place that is both productive and counter-productive for RP goals. I'd venture to say that if one uses reddit or RP as a video game, quit it completely.

    As for why I wrote the post, you could definitely boil it down to masturbation. I have an idea that is very unpopular with my friends and coworkers who, being SF intellectualy-hipster types, many of whom work in gaming, are currently balls-deep into Far Cry 4, DAI, and of course your mobas and whatnot. The masturbation is "I won't discuss it with these guys, because there is literally a zero % chance of me convincing anyone, therefore my effort would yield no result. If I discuss it in this other space, however, I know there will be some people who's perspective will be effected."

    Video games are definitely useful for education, but addicting games are often much more addicting to kids and teens given the evolving state of their mind. Some apps may teach your kid math and reading, but I sure as hell wouldn't want my 6 year old on an iPad

    [–]the99percent1 5 points6 points  (3 children)

    Yeah, no iPad for kids is something you should consider.. check, even Steve Jobs didn't want his kids on them.

    When I was a kid growing up in the late nineties, early 00, I'd be out riding my bike, playing ball, mingling with other kids in the neighborhood. It was fun, and we invented our own games.. That wasnt so long ago.. parks are bare dry these days and it's a sorry sight..

    You would be doing your kids a great disservice if u give them an iPad from a young age.. heck, I didn't even have broadband internet until I was well into my twenties..I don't feel like I've missed out of anything great.

    [–]Endorsed Contributor2comment 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    It's a creeping problem that gets worse every decade. Video game systems were in the homes already by the 70s, and by the late 1980s I'd say most lower middle class families and up had something. (Although I do remember having an extra TV to actually play on was another problem and fight. Our system was connected to the living room TV that was reserved all night by the old folks.)

    Of course, it's nothing like how it is now. I do miss actual arcades though, beyond the golf games and shit bars stock. That was still a somewhat social experience. Especially the tabletop pacman I'm told, when it first came out.

    [–]draxula16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It hurts to see. When I was younger, our "addiction" was playing outside with friends. Now it seems that every neighborhood and park is kid-free (compared to how it used to be a few years back).

    I can somewhat understand giving a child an iPad, but most of the time it's just used to play games. What fuels the addiction for younger kids is the ability to easily download FREE new games within seconds. Back then if we wanted a new game for our prehistoric gaming device, we had to buy/rent it. While most of us are from the generation of kids who were introduced to modern gaming, I don't think there were as many "young addicts" as there are now.

    As adults, we can "game with moderation" (at least the ones who are doing something with their lives), but kids can't. If any of you have kids or are planning to have kids, please limit their time to video games and encourage them early on to love the outdoors.

    Wow I didn't mean to post this much.

    [–]MagnanimousGenius 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    As someone who is relatively new to Reddit, the attraction to karma still misses me as I don't fully understand the system. But it (and Reddit itself) definitely cultivates the traits discussed in the article you linked:

    • A temporary escape
    • Constant measurable growth
    • A challenge
    • Social

    And I'm always left feeling disappointed in myself if I've left a shitty comment that doesn't fully live up to my pre-conceived standards of eloquent, practical writing

    [–]Endorsed Contributor2comment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    As someone who is relatively new to Reddit, the attraction to karma still misses me as I don't fully understand the system.

    I would trade all my karma for $5. For people without a social life, it's all the social validation they get, and therefore becomes precious.

    [–]Pharmakoza 20 points21 points  (7 children)

    You don't need to completely quit video games if you enjoy them. But people must understand that video games are one of life's spices that can easily be overdone.

    I can honestly say that video games add a lot to my life and I will never stop playing them completely. That said, I used to play shitloads of video games and my life was shitty outside of them. Now, I only play for a few hours every week.

    [–]Ratcliff01 65 points66 points  (13 children)

    Lol wut?

    Couldn't this article be "Why you need to give up movies." "Why you need to give up books" Why you need to give up porn"

    Do things in moderation and make sure they don't keep you from doing stuff that makes you happy. You don't need to give up anything.

    [–]Perch1 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    Yep. When I stopped playing video games, I started wasting a lot more time reading stupid shit on the internet instead. Had nothing to do with the games, just my lack of self-control.

    And movies are worse than video games. You can have a lot of fun playing games with your friends. When you're watching a movie, you just sit there silently. Also, two hours usually isn't enough time to tell a good story. Video games often have much more compelling storylines!

    [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    As /u/perch said below, it's about self-control.

    Do you get addicted to movies? Do you throw down your mouse when the movie didn't turn out how you wanted? Do you feel the need to rush home to watch some movie? Do you go to the movie store and spend $3000 on movie equipment where you could have spent it on a year gym membership, travel, or a car?

    Same for books, do books serve as a false replacement for social interaction?

    The answer for all of those is NO. As long as you stay in "moderation", then yes it's fine. But the point is that gaming serves as substitutes for a lot of that.

    [–]IDefyAxioms 1 point2 points  (0 children)


    Books (fiction) are definitely a time-sink in the same way that games are, but they're simply accepted as an intellectual pursuit. They don't make you stronger, more well-informed, better at your job, or any of that.

    Not that they don't always serve a purpose. Interest in non-fiction can open you up to social circles that have a higher chance of being of higher value than a gaming group.

    Gaming sucks you in more anyway. You're engaged on more levels. You're being visually, aurally, and physically engaged in order to achieve something. Much more detrimental and likely replacement for real life.

    [–]Aryanenzo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No, the answer to all of those is not NO.

    I have gotten addicted to movies before. Ever heard of netflix binging?Watching movies for hours and hours instead of social interaction. I have wanted to rush home to watch a movie before and yes people do buy 3000+ dollar TVs and projects/speaker systems just to watch movies.

    I get the point of the thread but it's fucking stupid. Not all videogames are a replacement for social interaction, not all of them are like LoL or WOW and not all of them are competitive. Some of us play it for the story or to have fun with our friends in real life, which is the same as any other sport (sure, you're not getting physical excersise but that's irrelevant to the thread)

    [–]I___________________ 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    But how can I become the alphaest man if I don't give up anything good for my present self for the sake of my future self!?

    Surely, our goal in life is not to have most fun/pleasure but to build the best career, fuck most woman and to take all the money to grave.

    I don't see the point in becoming a comformist. Fuck the society I will choose the path that gives me most pleasure without getting in peoples way. Remember that fun is subjective.

    [–]_Dog- 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    In todays culture, do you really think you're being non conformist by being a gamer?

    [–]R4F1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    In other words, gaming has a high Opportunity Cost. You spend the same amount of energy and/or intellect on it that you could be on something else.

    [–]aptway 25 points26 points  (4 children)

    I lift, eat clean, go out a healthy amount, make sure to get 1 hour of nonfiction in a night, and am spinning a couple of plates at the moment (one of whom is a famous "gamer girl" with an army of beta orbiters).

    And I raid 2 nights a week in WoW. However, I work at a video game company, and raiding with Senior Producers and others on my team is very good for my career- so in my specific case, gaming is an integral part of my life and isn't realistic at the moment to cut it out completely.

    For 99% of people though, gaming is a huge waste of time that's stunting your personal growth (and I say that as someone who will be hurt by your lack of business).

    [–]krystyin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Its all about balance - same people who say gaming is bad will watch 10 hours straight of a series on netflix or like me get OCD reading up on stuff till I feel like I have it down when it doesn't matter.

    The real goal should be to use every minute as well as possible which means this is my last post for today off to the gym.

    [–]AlwaysBulking1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Sounds like you've got a good set up going, GJDM

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)


      [–]drowninginfootwear 150 points151 points  (37 children)

      Stuff like this is what makes trp look like a joke to the rest of the world. You know what red pill is? It's doing what you want.

      I like video games. If you have an addictive personality and can't play a game without getting sucked into it to the point where it ruins your life, that's your problem. I'm not gonna let anyone dictate my hobbies.

      [–]RecQuery 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      The same argument the OP makes against games could be directed at any entertainment, hobby or knowledge not critical to survival.

      It's just socially acceptable to target games, the OP is as bad as the feminists that call men man-children for playing games and not chasing after them.

      It's shit like this that makes us a fucking joke and in some ways cult link. You're just giving ammunition to those who oppose you.

      Obviously if you have an addictive or unstable personality then you're going to find some way to fuck yourself up regardless of the medium. Those people and extreme cases and aren't the rule.

      [–]GranPappyHitler 25 points26 points  (6 children)

      Yeah. I'm a grown man and will game and be a successful person at the same time. Fuck right off with telling me what to do.

      [–]pachan 12 points13 points  (3 children)

      Fuck right off with telling me what to do.

      you can say that about every single post here.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      "Successful" on which metric? Your "self" without video games or the person next to you?

      Because progress is being able to measure up to a previous version of yourself and being successful is truer when you are better than what you were before.

      How can you tell that you wouldn't be better without them if you haven't tried living without them?

      [–]GranPappyHitler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Better by what metric? They make me happy and help me wind down. There's also a large amount of virtual and couch interaction while playing that builds bonds. I'm moving up in my career, making more money and focusing more on my health all while being an avid gamer. Could I take all the hours a week I game and do something else? Sure. But then why do that when I could be doing something else?

      [–]repzaj1234 17 points18 points  (9 children)

      Spot on. I love playing games from when I was a child up until now and I want to pass on that passion for games to my children. Our generation will be the first generation of tech savvy parents who play games alongside their children.

      [–]bluedrygrass 10 points11 points  (7 children)

      Wich is so wrong on many levels. You shouldn't be a friend, but a father to your childrens. And you should keep them away from time wasting, life sucking experiences. Expecially experiences that molds them to beta male behaviours and hinders their phisical and psychological development.

      [–]Let_me_explain1733 5 points6 points  (4 children)

      First off... Physical*

      Second, not all video games are mindless, life sucking, useless hobbies that only betas play with. There are a ton of legitimately interesting and borderline educational games out there that provide a lot of beneficial information. Because I played many of these games when I was younger I found I had an extremely advanced understanding of history, science, finance and supply chain management when compared to my peers.

      I'm not saying that this means you should go play world of warcraft all day and be an antisocial hermit but what I am saying is that in moderation, interest in certain video games can provide a lot of benefit to a young persons mind. I mean have you ever heard of Kerbal Space Program? That's what turns a 10 year old boy into a rocket scientist one day. In fact, that game allowed me to drop some real understanding of orbital mechanics which really impressed my now boss during my job Interview for a mechanical engineering position.

      [–]repzaj1234 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      Jesus, you need to lighten up. My dad taught me a lot of important things in life, all while being the fun dad I can play nintendo, command and conquer with. I respect him as my father and my friend.

      [–]_Dog- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Keep in mind you're reading through and replying to discussions in a forum on how to be a better man. A forum many of which claim only spouts things men should know anyway. I'm sure you're father is a great man, but yet you are here trying to find ways to be a better one. You may disagree, but one can easily argue your father should have taught you the things missing which led you here. I'm not attempting to make a dig, just pointing out accepting flaws in the father is exceedingly difficult for the son.

      [–]1grendalor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      You really need to reconsider this approach.

      First, your children need a father, not a gaming bud. Sharing experiences with your sons is critical, but they should be experiences which are quintessentially masculine AND positive -- which excludes spending any significant amount of time on video games.

      Second, you need to create good habits in them. Not playing video games, which can be a very bad habit for many men. Develop good habits like the gym, weight training, martial arts, outdoorsmanship, social skills, and so on. Not gaming.

      It doesn't matter if you would subjectively find it fun to game with your sons. That's beside the point. Your job as a father is to mold them, not have fun with them if that fun comes at the expense of molding them.

      [–]Metalgear222 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      Other's have had this "doing what they want" ruin just about every aspect of their lives. TRP would say fix that shit or "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and quit that shit".

      I used to not shower, not brush my teeth, end my pisses early just to spare a few more seconds and wouldn't care about the piss droplets running down my leg. Your post is a joke because you don't know how serious gaming addiction is, but now you know.

      [–]hrm0894 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      end my pisses early just to spare a few more seconds and wouldn't care about the piss droplets running down my leg.

      I swear sometimes I just feel a lot of the people who comment on trp are a bunch of trolls, but I know that's not the case. The shit I read on here is so ridiculously funny (in a good way) and would be absurd to the average redditor.

      [–]bluedrygrass 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      No, the average redditor is exactly the neckbeard basement dweller that spends countless hours videogaming.

      [–]pokerkid89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Addictive personality is such a cop out. They just have a weak mind.

      [–]trpaw 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Weakness is easy; what if doing what you want means eating bad food and living a generally undisciplined life?

      Before I came to university I had a DotA addiction. It was so easy to neglect other aspects of my life in favour of grinding away at a game.

      During my senior year of HS I examined my life and didn't see myself as being on a successful trajectory. Cue cutting games and the introduction of TRP and self improvement.

      Now I am at a top 20 university and I have structured my time so that video games are not a possibility. Rather than choosing to scrape by, I chose to physically challenge myself by joining rowing (2x a day, only 4 days off a month) in the time I would usually be gaming. Guess what, even with the time commitment of rowing I still have some free time.

      Only boring people get bored; I could have used the little free time I have now to play games but instead I noticed that there was an opportunity to start a small business based around selling cigarettes via exploiting prices and taxes from countries like Ukraine, Moldova, Greece, etc.

      Now I'm clearing hundreds of pounds a week with minimal effort, I'm popular in a way I couldn't have imagined 6 months ago, and am constantly improving socially, mentally, and physically.

      By god I'll still play from time to time but it feels sickly sweet in the way that eating a candy bar or drinking a soda feels foreign after not consuming them for a long time.

      TLDR: Could you be using your time better?

      [–]1independentmale 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Hey, more power to you, bro. If you want to spend countless hours of your time earning fake money, armor and other trinkets, go for it.

      I prefer to spend my time earning money in real life. It is infinitely more rewarding than fake shit in a fake world.

      I love games. I used to game every night for hours and had frequent LAN parties that lasted for days straight. One day I sat down and did some mental calculations and realized the time I spent playing games could have been put to much better use. I quit cold turkey and found other, more productive things to do with my life.

      [–]wuneternalround 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      This is definitely not the type of post that gives trp a bad name. And you are delusional if you think that video games are a worthwhile hobby compared to hundreds of others

      [–]ShagggyDog 48 points49 points  (13 children)

      You just made a long post to say video games are bad. Guess what? Anything is bad at extreme and addictive levels. I was addicted to DotA and I can relate. Yes, quitting it made my life better. But I still play occasional non-competitive games as one of my hobbies. If you are RP you should be able to control yourself and regulate your life.

      [–]Adolf_ghandi 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      The post may be long but he offered a different point of view.

      Media: gaming us baaaaaaaaaad

      He: reasonable opinion

      [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

      Anything is bad at extreme and addictive levels.

      I hate this argument. Not all "bad things" are made equal. If I'm a workaholic who wakes up, writes code and sleeps with breaks for food and bathroom I'm far from being the same as the video gamer who shares the pattern, especially when the programmer is actually employed and makes money to do whatever the fuck he wants.

      The only reason why "anything is bad at extreme" is taken as a true statement is when you scratch the surface and claim that "since I did X for 10 hours I didn't had time to do Y which is good, therefore doing X is bad". So? You favor one thing over something else when you're looking to maximize your benefit and you're doing it all the damn time.

      You might as well say "introduce some variety in your daily activities because doing only one thing all day is bad" but it's still wrong. What if my daily activities are video games, fapping, staring at the ceiling and smoke weed? Am I at the same grounds with the guy who lifts, eats properly, reads books and works hard for his career? So, why when we see all activities we can clearly tell there are good ones and bad ones but when we take them to the extreme there can only be bad ones? If you're jumping in a new career, for example, excessive studying and work is one of the best things you can do, especially when it's deliberate practice involved because you're catching up with those who worked in your field of interest for years and because it's an expression of your dedication. That's not equal with playing Dota 2 for hours just because there's no room to go outside for a drink.

      [–]sdflkjeroi342 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      He didn't say they're bad per se - just that excessive use of them will sap your will to go outside and fuck shit up. He's completely right, and I say that as an occasional (~1-2h a week of CS usually) gamer.

      [–]xXDragonFlyJonesXx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      You're right gaming can be a huge problem. After graduating high school I spent two years doing nothing but playing Halo and Cod. I was only suppose to take a year off from school and jump back on the horse, well I didn't quite do that. I gained more than a few pounds, lost my athleticism, lost contact with the outside world, and lost my train of thought on how to socialize with others. Gaming deeped dicked the fuck out of me for those two years. I'm proud to say I've been back on the horse (school) three years now and life is good and so are the ladies. Haha

      [–]beltwaytr 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Alright I can tell this will be a touchy subject so I am going to go ahead and say to all the game players here that this article is for those that have a serious addiction. If you haven't lost your job, quit school, or locked yourself in a room for 16 hours straight because of a video game this message is not for you.

      I get it, less time playing games is more time doing whatever. That is fantastic but the same can be said about everything else people do out of habit. When it comes to me personally I gave up television, a friend of mine stopped hanging out at the club, some chick I used to know stopped smoking weed.

      The point I am trying to make is there is a difference in cutting out things you enjoy and things you do out of routine. Everyone's definition of cool is different. For you it may be climbing a big ass hill, for me it could be earning a million bucks for playing a game. Just make sure you do what you do because you want to do it and not for some else that doesn't like how you spend your downtime.

      [–]J-roddy 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      I replaced video games in my life with warhammer( expensive would not reccomend unless you like building and painting) and DND. This doesn't sound much better but I spend less time in front of a screen, and get my friends together every Sunday to enjoy a shared hobby. Also its a very female free envirment to unwind.

      [–]1grendalor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This isn't much of an improvement, really -- it's an even geekier subculture than computer gaming is. Far better to find an outlet which is actually positive in a social way (i.e., has a skill which is socially valued, like an art or an athletic skill etc.).

      [–]usul1628 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, I just started playing a little D&D (about 6 hours so far) with my friends starting this fall. Since none of us knew anything I'm DMing, which is great for forcing you to think quickly and lead. It's also very cheap since we're playing without a board or figures

      [–]musicvita25 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Playing 30 minutes a day stimulates your brain actually. But just 30 minutes. I for one haven't played in a while, but looking to take it up again but JUST for 30 minutes.

      I didn't have an ugly addiction, I just believe its all I need.

      However if I have 30 minutes free, I'd rather do yoga and stretching.

      Its obvious what you get more out of.

      [–]BedHeadd 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      50 days of gameplay on Runescape. 11-14 I dare not even find out the cumulative time on CoD and Xbox Live as a whole. 14-18. Sold my video games 3 months ago never looked back.

      [–]the99percent1 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      I gave up video games by:-

      a) Sell my gaming computer and bought a laptop instead. b) got a full-time job and stayed back at work to do extra work/learning. c) get an internet plan that had a hard download limit d) hit the gym/socialize/hit the bar/fuck chicks

      in two months, I guarantee you even when the opportunity to sit there for two hours just to play a game presents itself, you wont even take it..

      [–]duckspeed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Someone should design a TRP game and e-learning platform. Ranking and achievements would be based on what you achieved in real world quests (lesson 101: say hi to 20 girls). The gamemaster would verify your progress through infield video footage. There would be forums and multiplayer events to interact with other players.

      [–]ProjectShamrock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Good post but like others I think it applies to being addicted to something non-productive rather than specifically gaming itself. Also, to me, I rate video games at a superior level to people who are addicted to watching TV or professional sports because it at least requires brain power, while the majority of people sit and passively observe TV. That's not to say I find video gaming to be overwhelmingly productive, but rather it's a step up from simply being an observer.

      I wanted to answer your edit because I do think video games bring positive things to my life. Here are two examples:

      • When I was a kid, my friends and I would play video games and watch movies on the weekends in the evenings. However, this was always after spending all day outside either exploring some woods, playing basketball, swimming, or doing other things. We'd tire ourselves doing all sorts of activities for real, and fall back to play video games after our bodies were too tired to do much else. It was a good way to continue bonding with friends. You could go from playing "war" in the woods with your friends to playing Contra on the NES seamlessly, for example. It was also a way for my dad and I to bond. We both played games together sometimes and I still have a hand-written paper of codes for Castlevania that he gave me and it's one of the few things I have in his handwriting left. So for me, along with camping, fishing, hiking, music, etc. video games are one of the things I remember fondly about my dad.

      • I am a dad, and my kids like video games. Obviously, the amount of time they can spend on them is limited, but it's a way to bond in the same way playing slot cars, Transformers, or having a tea party would be. We play Just Dance, Mario Kart Wii, Family Game Night, and many other games together, some being physically active some not.

      Overall, it's all about how you live your life. Last night my wife and I got our kids in bed early, so for some of my "me" time to blow off steam before going to bed I played guitar like I normally do before bed, but I had a little extra time so I also played a little Super Mario World for 20 minutes or so then shut it all down. It's fun, and probably the first time in several months that I've fired up that game. I probably won't play another video game until the Christmas break, and I won't miss it.

      So from my perspective, since you appear to have been addicted to gaming, yes, you needed to give it up. I'm not addicted, so it doesn't hurt me. I see the same with alcoholics. My dad was an alcoholic so I wouldn't drink around him, but my uncle (his brother) is someone I could have a beer with and not feel bad. I possibly could become alcoholic, but I don't get drunk anymore and I could go several months without a drink and not craving it, so I don't mind occasionally having a drink when it fits the meal that I'm having or as a bonding situation with other men. It's all about having control.

      [–]tedcase 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I failed my masters Thesis because I was too busy playing minecraft.

      [–]WardlyHasted 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Some of the comment sections on this sub are so fucking retarded.

      People saying that being "alpha" or "red pill" is about doing whatever you want blah blah blah. Try to defend it all you want, but video games are doing nothing for your life.

      I don't care if there are studies conducted about playing Portal or whatever. Working out, reading a non-fiction book, working towards your career goals, developing interesting hobbies (I don't care what you say, video games are not a hobby... Is watching movies a hobby?), going for a hike, learning a new skill that will actually benefit yourself -- such as learning to change your spark plugs or how to cook a gourmet meal. These are just off the top of my head and all are a much better use of your time.

      For those who play games like WoW and other time-sink RPGs, YOU are the character in the video game that is your life. Who the fuck cares if you sink 50 hours into a computer game to become an "Archmaester Wizard". You could have sunk 50 hours into perfecting your favourite Metallica song on guitar -- something you can actually be proud of, something that is tangible and real, something you can build upon and carry to your grave that no one can take away. If someone hacks your WoW account, your fucked and have lost everything you've "worked" for.

      I understand that video games may have a place in your life, and I understand playing them to unwind at the end of the day might be what you like to do. But don't say that video games are red pill or beneficial to your life in any way.

      [–]mcwilshire 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      No one on their deathbed, looking back at their life, thinks to themselves, "I wish I'd spent more time playing video games".

      Pointless waste of time = Pointless waste of life

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorCyralea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'd wager that most of the people defending their gaming habits are under the age of 30. Realizing the finite limits of your youth certainly makes gaming seem extraordinarily wasteful.

      [–]ucancallmehansum 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      VR is going to wreak havoc on so many men's lives. At least there will be more babes for us... NSFW


      [–]dynty 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      I dont like that "how to quit playing videogames" article. It is standart "motivation" crap.

      i have some tips.

      • Dont buy new games. This is most important. Games gets old. If you have new WoW expansion, it is hard not to play it.

      -Quit competitive gaming. Say yourself - i will not get platinum league in LoL, fuck it. Not " i will get to platinum and then quit". Quit ladders.

      -Do not join any kind of guild.

      If you follow these 3 rules, you will be "cured". There is nothing wrong on casual gaming.

      [–]bluedrygrass 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I am an avid gamer, and i know that what you're saying is true. Defending videogames is like defending your drug of choice. "But but but, they give you faster reflexes (do they? I doubt that), they are harmless evasions, stress-relieving!"

      Yes, and you end up wasting an absurb amount of time in.... virtual smoke.

      What have videogames ever given to you? 20 years from now, you won't be saying " Damn, i wish i played more videogames."

      You think virtual reality is the shit because you don't believe the real world can be as satisfying. But you can force yourself to do it, too.

      Videogames fucks with dopamine levels and productions.

      They let you satisfyed for things that never happened.

      They are a trick, and tricks your brain making you a Dorito Dew Neckbeard passive amoeba.

      Only on one thing i must disagree with you, OP:

      "Gaming, however, is more dangerous than TV or porn "

      Nope. Nothing beats porn. Porn is WAY more deeply stimulating than videogames could ever be (unless we're talking about porn videogames, then we could have a case).

      Quitting porn is way more difficult than quitting videogames or eccessive internet surfing. And porn drawbacks are worse, especially under the motivational/ masculine aspect.

      [–]_Dog- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Why is an instrument a skill but being an expert at StarCraft not?

      Or rather, why is this distinction of "skill" so important?

      This post by u/DAEHateRatheism currently has 10 upvotes. It is a sad day in TRP when this mindset has taken hold. The fact at least 10 fools upvoted a questioning of the difference between the skill in playing piano and the skill in playing starcraft shows how low TRP is getting due to the influx of new members. Music is ingrained in who we are. All humans play and enjoy music. Every single one. Gaming? psh. Light entertainment easily replaced by other more positive activities.

      edit: and to anyone spouting "moderation" keep in mind how games are actually played. Games are built to be addictive, to keep you in your chair and coming back for more. You know very well a majority of gamers do not game in moderation.

      [–]johnnywahd 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      I remember being at Best Buy just killing time, browsing, picking up some movies or new music when I saw it: a guy in his mid 30s looking at the game aisle. By the way he was dressed it was obvious he was not only unmarried, but also without a girlfriend...and probably had been for a long time. What his appearance communicated was social awkwardness and lack of positive female-attracting qualities. To summarize his appearance: jeans, running shoes, flannel shirt, baseball hat and glasses. Not exactly hip, and quite unaware of what image he was presenting being dressed like that AND in the video game aisle at his age looking for the new thing to occupy his time...which could be better spent improving himself.

      Now I mention that because I was probably the same age or maybe even a little older...and I still played video games. I did dress better and was on the self-improvement track and realized how important spending time in the right areas is.

      Seeing him was a shock because I realized I did not want to be seen as that guy. Was that how people thought of me when they saw me at the checkout line with a new video game at my age? Hell no. I decided then and there that I would quit video games for good.

      That has been several years ago and I haven't looked back. I spend my time either improving myself by lifting or reading as much as I can in, or pursuing my passions of playing guitar, writing songs and recording them. Basically fueling my creative outlet.

      Don't be that guy who is too old to be playing video games.

      [–]bilbuthehobbit 9 points10 points  (3 children)

      Seriously, we need more lessons like this. Cold harsh truth. I've been noticing lately that TRP has been overwhelmed with male hamsters. Being a gamer is a beta trait and im sure everyone knows it; hence the stereotype of a loser in the media is some WoW playing fatass or some other game.

      Of course there are some dudes that play video games that plow a lot of chicks but they are the exception and not the norm. Everyone needs to stop hamstering around.

      [–]1grendalor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I'd say that video games themselves are the blue pill -- they are a matrix into which the gamer places himself. A matrix that is divorced from reality. And the more time spent immersed in that matrix, the worse the person gets in terms of actual, objective reality, just like the blue pill matrix. It's essentially blue pill because it is divorced from red pill reality.

      [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Right. There are dudes who are winning in life who do all kinds of stupid shit. Some guys wife up a ho (Kanye) and will still be sky-high in terms of SMV - but is doesn't mean wifing up a ho is good or compatible with RP.

      "Hey buy I know someone who eats a lot of McDs and is still ripped.."

      Okay, are you that guy? No, you're probably not, so you have to do more than he has to do.

      "My friend makes 200k, fucks hot girls, and has a job he's passionate about, a ton of interesting hobbies, etc, and he games all the time!"

      Okay. Lovely. When you get to his level, play all the games you want. Jumping into a entertainment world, whether casually or seriously, is as you said, a BP trait because you are literally putting yourself into a "matrix" where you can do all these validation-providing, fun things that give you the illusion of growth. It's as /u/grendalor says in the post below, video games are the closest thing we have to an actual, real-life "BP".

      You can take a little BP and still be A-OK, but why would you?

      [–]TheChisler 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      only play short single-player games now on during long college breaks. I get too much good information and ideas for real-life applications. Like Deus Ex: Human Revo pretty much inspired me to go the biotechnology entrepreneurship route, and Rockstar games always provide a good source of ideas/theories that pan out well. Sure, there are a lot of hollow, pointless games out there, but Square Enix, Bethesda, and Rockstar provide some densely packed, creative outlets of inspiration if you look for it at least.

      [–]TheChisler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'm going to expand on this, since I'm a bit coked out and your post gave me a fat epiphany. Things like video games, drawings, listening to music, movies, etc, etc. if used right can insulate your creativity. The type of video games you play, the type of music you listen to, etc, etc. all are a reflection of the creative capacity you wish to cultivate.

      Say you listen to a lot of EDM trance, how does that music appeal to a person in terms of their creative insulation? Well,break down the composition of that type of music: high tempo, loud bass, little to no spoken words. What does this say? Usually (not always) points towards a certain personality type.

      These video games, musical compositions, movies, TV shows, etc, etc. are all creations from another human who employs a certain characteristic creative tempo. Whether this creative tempo is close to or in line with whatever you're trying to set, it can be used as a tool to insulate/grease your creative conduit. And if you think about it, in terms of success, one of the biggest determining factors depends highly on creativity.

      [–]Finucho 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I totally agree. Best explanation I've read about this subject. Porn, videogames, movies, TV... are a strong part of the matrix, when you are connected to these, you live beautiful and exciting lifes, you trick your brain, but in reality it's all mental masturbation. I don't want to die after seen 20000 characters on the screen (just 1 movie a day...) having fabulous lives and adventures while my life has been mediocre. It's sad to see so much effort from the human species targeted toward entertainment and escaping reality...

      [–]Lewis_H 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Great post and great outlook. It's true that TV, porn, and video games are very much the "matrix" we talk about. Nothing about them is real.

      [–]wanna-be-writer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      The only time that gaming had a positive effect for me was after I quit drinking. When trying to break an addiction you're supposed to change your people, places, and things. By switching to gaming it allowed me to replace all my friends who were associated with drinking with gamers. Plus, I was a social drinker so now I stayed home playing games instead of being at the bar.

      Now, it was trading one addiction for another but gaming is less harmful overall than an actual physical addiction (usually). I was getting drunk five nights a week in bars, almost lost my marriage, did lose my job, and got in serious trouble with the law over my drinking. I was huge into MMORPGs. Now I play BF4 very occasionally and I'm working on eliminating that (as well as all tv/movie watching, but that's another issue altogether).

      tl;dr videogames can help substitute for other addictions as long as you're able to step down your video game playing over time.

      [–]LeGrandDiableBlanc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It makes sense to categorize video games and pornography, and recreational drugs in the same category. Video games can be though of as achievement porn, versus sexual porn.

      All stimulate masturbate reward centers in the brain and give you a rush of dopamine and other reward neurotransmitters. There's a growing body of evidence that suggests that anything that exposes the neural system to high concentrations of dopamine triggers a change in our gene expression, creating more of the protein Delta FosB. This protein sets off the neurological chain of reactions that result in addictive behavior. The point being, addiction to video games, pornography, sex, food, and drugs are all based upon the same neural processes and should be treated similarly in that context.

      Drugs can be dangerous mostly because they're mechanically so good at lighting up our reward pathways.

      Porn, sex, food, and video game addictions can be particularly tricky because they ride on our evolved reward circuits that promote reproduction, survival, and productivity.

      [–]Jrix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Can I beat Dragon Age first, Senpai? I'm 30% in or so.

      [–]likechoklit4choklit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      A word of caution: Videogame addiction can be readily replaced by internet surfing/forum addiction. If you're spending more than a few hours of week participating in online behaviors outside of a work context, you may want to evaluate what you are getting out of the interaction. Mercilessly interrogate yourself, adjust according to your results, and grow.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I know you're getting some hate here but thank you so much for this post this was really what I need. I recently started deleting games one by one from my pc but this post really made me sure that there's just no place for pc games in my life if I want to be who I want to be. And also for newer guys I'd recommend cutting out porn completely and reducing masturbation dramatically cause doing that really reduced my social anxiety. I'm probably gonna get some hate for this no fapping recommendation but seriously if you are new here and think someone is slowing down your progress it's probably it (and games of course)

      [–]ArtTheRussian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wait why not just set aside a certain amount of time? I go work then gym then video games at home and if I have a date I do that before video games. It's all about time management and what you think comes first.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorSarcasticus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I don't know if giving up something that brings you pleasure is necessary. But it's clear that video games are a low value activity. If you spend your day engaged in low value activities, you'll become a low value man.

      Video games could be replaced by other low value activities; surfing reddit, watching tv, masturbating, etc... Spending a majority of your time engaged in low value activities will stunt your personal growth.

      Similar to the "NoFap" idea, if you're currently spending a majority of your day playing video games, I'd recommend giving it up for 40 days cold turkey.

      [–]99_Problem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wow, tons of responses.

      In terms of entertainment, gaming is probably the most economical form there is. However OP, you're absolutely right. "Gaming" is simply sitting on your ass for extended periods of time. That is not useful to anybody.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        Same here dude. I remember thinking "man it's incredible, this area looks just like Yosemite, I wonder if blizzard modeled this area after this mountain range... look at the way that the scenery shifts so naturally as you fly south." Then you realize that your friend just hiked the Appalachian, took these amazing photos of the trip, and each one represents this amazing, cherished memory and challenge...

        I used to also credit these games with inspiring my sense of exploration, but then I realized, that was all biology. Men were programmed to want to explore and see new things everyday. We as children inherently wanted to go see the wilderness and go off the trail and climb a mountain for the fuck of it.

        [–]1Mikesapien 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        I find the opposite to be the case, actually.

        My friends and I don our nerdy headsets and treat gaming like today's equivalent of the 17th Century coffeehouse - our game chat is an experimental place; a test chamber for storytelling, irony/comedy, conversation, self-expression, abstract reasoning, linguistic skills, topic knowledge, working memory, and our general aptitude at being "interesting."

        Being a male space makes it relatively uninhibited, and central to its operation is humor, both the ability to laugh at others as well as ourselves. We joke and sharpen our banter. This skill carries over into the rest of your life. If you treat everything without seriousness, you'll find it easier to handle and easier to manipulate to your advantage. It puts people at ease and they extend their confidence to you. This is the "amused" in Amused Mastery.

        I suppose this comes down primarily to how you game. I keep it a social, brotherly activity that I highly value and allows me to keep up with close friends. It's masculine time, and masculine time is valuable.

        [–]rainbowhotpocket 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        It all depends, my friend. The article you linked says quit cold turkey. This is as if you have an addiction. Now the people playing lol dota wow etc. very competetively are most likely addicted however, there is the casual gamer. Myself, and some other friends, will all go over to one friend's dorm maybe a night a week and play some halo or cod aw for a couple hours, then hit the gym or bars. As a social bonding tool with other men, gaming is an important bridge builder.

        Nowadays most men play video games in their free time for fun; you mentioned a couple reasons why. You have to be able to relate to these people.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorn0c0ntr0l 6 points7 points  (2 children)

        I've ditched videogames in its entirety.

        I used to love them, still do really. But I don't regret it, you know why? Because all that time I spent now goes into making music, which is just as fun but at the end of it I have something to show for it!

        [–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Runescape fucked up my highschool years, i boxed for five years and spent my free time grinding on runescape instead of doing roadwork, showing up on time, i wasted my chance to win the golden gloves.

        [–]Goldfulgore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I agree with your post 100%. I haven't played a single MMO in my life cause I never wanted to get addicted. I do however play with moderation.

        n your post, explain a few positive things that gaming adds to your life.

        When I have nothing to do I will replace gaming with going out at bars or clubs to have fun. This has some negative implications to my wallet. In the past month I have had some economic problems and gaming has helped me reduce my spending budget. But this was more of a conscious effort than an accidental benefit.

        [–]TheRealMouseRat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        I play a lot of video games, and I love them, and I agree with what you're saying here. What makes video games so great, is exactly why they are so dangerous to ones development. It's like heroin, it wouldn't have been any problem with heroin if it wasn't so great.

        [–]16 Endorsed ContributorTRPsubmitter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Look, if you want to argue every negative thing about gaming or about how none of this applies to you because you're a "casual" and you "can control yourself... unlike those lame betas"...At the moment its just a bunch of people calling me "extreme"... which is true, but seriously, this is RP, a strategy or idea being "extreme" is not an inherently negative thing.

        Sigh...more MGTOWs totally derailing discussion and hamstering about why THEY are exceptional and rules don't apply to them. You bring up an excellent point and they bring up ancillary factors about "no wait, I only play a little bit!"

        I posted something before on gaming (not as detailed as yours) and all the comments were "fuck off! I can control my gaming! I'm still alpha and can play SIM city!"


        [–]skimdit 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        This should be re-titled "Why You Sex-Deprived Basement Dwelling Betas Need to Give Up Video Games". The rest of us men who can handle our own business and still drink, toke, play video games and watch porn while getting more than enough tail have no need for all this "TEN REASONS YOU NEED TO STOP XXXXX TODAY!!!" bullshit.

        [–]CyberFi 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Really? Alright, let's examine that.

        At what point in your journey to self improvement and personal success do you need pornography, video-games, or weed to bring you forward? Imagine yourself doing one of three in your spare time and tell me how either one is allowing you to progress towards the life you want aside from being an "easy release" to stress you are experiencing because you are improving.

        How does porn, for instance, allow you to become a better man while you ejaculate the additional testosterone you could use to enhance your performance in the gym or give you a better cognitive and primal 'drive' to pursue what truly matters.

        Note: Your life has no direct correlation to mine, so your reason to defend these activities you partake in is none of my business. But just to entice my curiosity, tell me why you think this is bullshit.

        [–]eatingonthetoilet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I've discovered a 100% effective method of quitting cold-turkey. Fry your card!

        [–]juicyjcantt 3 points4 points  (4 children)

        So this is my first post here. I generally read this sub out of a bit of horrified fascination, and at first I was honestly pretty disgruntled by this post. I felt angry that you were clearly so against something I really value (playing video games.)

        But I think you're right. I felt sick when I was reading what you said about wandering around in the games trying to live out some boyhood exploration urge that should have been lived out in the real world. Gaming has thrashed a good bit of my life and still I basically will leap to defend it and get angry when people insult it.

        Anyway, just saying, this convinced me to sub. I felt like a fat guy defending Wendys - like why do I feel so butthurt that something I know has contributed to spinal issues and antisocial behavior in me and many of my friends?

        What do you recommend substituting gaming with? I'm 26, financially solid, and I work out and eat healthy. I work a ton, but I still have this free time and I don't really feel curious about anything else, like learning an instrument or painting or whatever. If I were to try out an "RP" outlook in this regard, what the hell would I do with my gaming time? I was looking around here and it seems like the answer is monkmode?

        [–]usul1628 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Basically something that gets you out into the world and interacting face to face with people. Doesn't sound like you need monk mode.

        [–]Flimflamification 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        Theres a strong correlation between me becoming a stronger version of myself and less time invested in video games. I still play video games about 4-5 hours a week but that still feels like time wasted. Games feel great when I havent played them in a week but the novelty wears off in hours then I generally become more irritable and less happy with the simple things in my day to day life. With alot of video games I just get bored because ive already swalled the pill and they dont provide that same level of stimulus as when im expressing myself in the real world, working out and getting productive shit done.

        I dont think you can say its worse than porn and TV because addictions affect people in different ways. Its subjective. For me Porn has been a worse addiction than video games. In online games at least you are playing with other people. With porn you are alone filling a void watching other people have sex.

        [–]Human_v2 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I played games competitively for five years, does anyone have an idea for what to do instead which allows you to get that element of nightly competition?

        I was essentially competing for 2+ hours per evening. I since took up mma and bjj but even in those sports the competitive bit (rolling at the end of a session) is maximum of 30 mins or so.

        How do you scratch the competition itch?

        [–]MagnanimousGenius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        When I moved overseas, I'd gone from gaming on the daily, to not at all because there was no console there, and my cousin only had one crappy laptop downstairs he used to Skype and browse the web (if he could even be bothered)

        The only device I had was my iPod touch, and while always pretty personable - after a month it was like pulling my head out of water when I noticed the difference. It makes you awkward. 12 months later, I returned and I had nothing to do. I went to play a game, and it felt like a chore.

        I enjoy my games, but time to pack it all away again. I'll enjoy that shit when I'm rich, retired and can't get it up anymore (hopefully never)

        [–]ChopstickWang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        For me as well, i learned that most of why i was gaming was because I'm a very impulsive person, once i realised this i started cutting down my gaming time and becoming more disciplined. :)

        [–]Tommythet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        While I agree that gaming can have a negative influence on personal growth, playing in moderation can actually help relieve stress and escape real world problems. I play video games moderately, here and there, and it is a good stress reliever. After a long day of work, turning on the playstation and playing some madden helps alleviates stress just for that little bit as all your concentration is focused on the game. While it doesn't make you a better man, there is nothing wrong with having a bit of fun.

        [–]gloomgeist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You may have some points here but as entertainment goes video gaming is one of the most highly-engaged forms. Are you going to watch TV? Movies? If so you're partaking in similar entertainment but near-completely mindless. Video games have been shown to teach quick thinking, strategy and problem solving ability.

        What you really need is balance in your life, not purges.

        If you've ever wondered why you lack that raw X factor, that primal desire to buttfuck the weightroom, climb mountains, approach the hottest girls, blaze through learning new skills... it might be because you play video games.

        Quit playing video games and you will suddenly be a hard charging mountain climber like drrrrrr? What? Citation needed.

        Some people do it to extreme excess. They're going to do that anyway. Life doesn't need to be a Mountain Dew commercial.

        [–]panzergling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is realistic, real world advice that every full grown adult should agree with, but 7/10 top comments on here are chastising the mentality. It really shows that this sub is divided into two subsects: people who read the sidebar material and those who didn't.

        [–]LaPiluleRouge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Just one thing I noticed last year when I played assassin creed, IT was much harder to old frame in real life. Once I realized it, I stop playing.

        [–]Hennez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is an interesting post. I think OP has many good points. Playing video games tends to be an escape to something else (most of the time, sure some games are played just for the fun of it). In my case i've realized I've done it to escape the many truths that were given to tme that didn't add up in my life: gods, love, perfect parents and most importantly NOT BEING WHO I WANTED TO BE. I'm not fully RP yet but i'm working on it.

        I found the red pill many years ago but didn't really want to finish swallowing it. It is extremely hard to accept that the world we're living in is basically a social construct to keep us enslaved to a way of thinking that doesn't really allow us to achieve our maximum potential and video games provide a good way to "calm down" or "relax".

        Coming back to the main theme: I spent a full year playing LoL with friends and this is something I regret (not the good friends I made, some even from other countries) but the time I could have spent improving myself. To sum it up, in my particular case, I almost never play now unless it is to keep in touch with my brother who lives in another country, but even that I'm started to cut almost to 0 since it interferes a lot with my reading the suggested RP books, my meditation and my routines to keep me at my best conditions.

        Good post. It can help people who face a disorder or simply want to keep improving themselves.

        [–]MakeTheSexyTalk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I used to love playing guitar hero games. I got really good at them and then I realized that if I'd invested the same amount of time learning how to play an actual guitar I'd be pretty decent.

        Thank god for Rocksmith.

        [–]asimplescribe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Jesus Christ this turning into LifeProTips. Don't get addicted to things and have some self control. Thanks for that brilliant advice. That never would have occurred to me.

        [–]Snivellious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        If you're yelling about how this isn't you in the comments, be scared. If you casually thought "nah, I play madden once a week with buddies when there's no game on", you're probably fine. If you thought "No! That's bullshit, I'm just fine, it's just those Korean SC addicts who have a problem!", then you talk like an alcoholic. I know, cause I do too. Take a hard look at yourself.

        [–]Movonnow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I just came home from an afternoon of work with a few guys from my college.

        I went by one guy's place and it so happened it is the place of my ex (the girl who caused me to search for TRP).

        I feel bad right now. Angry, sad, desperate. I feel all the emotions I used to feel in this relationship and even if they are much less stronger, I must avow I would gladly kill some nazis on call of duty 2 right now. If I had a video game at home. Duh.

        Also, video games saved my life. I was bullied and beat every day at school and failing high school. No friends, toxic family, nothing. At one point I got injured. Because of this major health issue, I couldn't get out of my bed. My parents bought me a mmorpg. Online, I met my first friends and even my first girlfriend. I know it sounds pathetic but this game helped me to become social enough to go talk to people in real life and it helped taking the pain of my injuries away. This daily escape was pleasurable and that's one of the things that allowed me to go through sickness.

        Now I've stopped gaming for more than 5 years with the occasional play with my brothers (a few hours a year, but it's more to do something with my brothers than to play a game). I've improved, got hobby and real life experiences, I'm striving to graduate from college with an engineering degree but video games helped me to take the first step.

        And also, I have great memories of some things I "lived" in game. I sometime listen to the soundtrack of the game and I feel great melancolia (in a positive way).

        The guy who wrote this article is right : I used to explore mmorpg's worlds rather than fight or do PvP. That's because I love adventure and I love finding new places. So I've decided to do that IRL.

        My motto : become the bad ass I was in game.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Thanks I needed this. I've been off games for about 4 months now but I'm the kind of person who gets incredibly addicted to video games immediately after playing a bit. A lot of people say, oh, just take it in moderation. Im one of those people who can't. You don't find many of us around because most of us are busy gaming.

        I've been watching some of the new warlords of draenor game play videos and have been feeling the itch to get back into it. So this post came at the perfect time for me.

        So thanks OP. My favorite line was when you said:

        The differentiator between successful men and mediocre men is very simple. Successful men do what they do because the pursuit of their vision, the war with reality to create something, IS their entertainment. Mediocre men enter reality and pursue work so that they can carve out enough finances and stability to access entertainment that others have created. This need to be entertained and the contentment in watching another guy, be it your avatar, a guy in a TV show, or Lexington Steele do the things you want to do... is the hallmark of second-rate men.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Video games are a huge waste of time. Nothing good or positive comes out of them. They are actually an effective waste of time, nothing kills it better than them. I really can't imagine a guy who can get women spending his weekends playing them.

        A guy calling himself a `gamer´ is not complimenting himself. I'll be honest I look down on gamers.

        [–]ImBloodyAnnoyed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        "Reality is my drug"

        • fifty cent

        [–]Jf5ve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is great, and as much as I loved video games, I sold my tv and Xbox and all games a few years back. I went out and bought a paintball gun instead. I thought, if I'm going to sit around playing a first person shooter, why don't I actually go out and be in a first person shooter. Instead of being stuck inside alone in the dark, I was outside running jumping sliding diving and shooting. I was out in the sun. I had a real adventure in an outdoor world. The actual social interaction with being on the field with real people was more rewarding. You think it's exciting playing Call of Duty? Go play some paintball on a weekend and tell me how exciting call of duty is after.

        [–]deville05 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I feel its kinda similar with consuming music, movies, porn etc. There is just too much of it. Your favorite actors go out there and work with their bodies on their craft. They hardly ever get to watch movies. You on the other hand sit and condume everything. Yoh are so saturated with entertainment that nothing surprises you. Uve seen it all

        [–]Metalgear222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I just started fighting off my gaming addiction and felt I should share the things I replaced it with.

        1. I started rock climbing again 3-4 times a week. It's incredibly fun, beginner friendly, and extremely competitive in the long run. Also a really good way to meet new and decent people.

        2. I picked up playing pool/billiards at a bar with a buddy, bought my own cue and started playing a few times a week and often on weekends too when we are out drinking. A good way to earn respect and start good conversation with new people (because it started with a friendly challenge).

        3. I picked up playing an instrument. Relieves an incredible amount of stress, has the endless "level-up" factor to it (you continue to practice and to see yourself do what you thought you couldn't do), and brings good SMV when you reach a decent skill level. A lifelong venture if you find an instrument you love (Drums for me).

        4. Hitting the gym! I feel like a broken record. Lifting is too fucking good for your physical health and mental confidence. Inspires you to eat right AND get better sleep so you don't waste your hard efforts.

        5. When the nice weather comes back, I plan to pick up mountain biking, golf frisbee, and swimming (probably have a decent physique by that time since I started in November). Who knows what I'll add to this list.

        Just wanted to voice some ideas for those wondering what interests to pick up.

        [–]goemon45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Ill enjoy in modration but thanks for the advise

        [–]Self_Actualize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I'd say, at least for me, that cutting internet use in general should be included with TV and video games.

        Screen technology alters your brain.

        Now, permanent abstinence from the internet is a bit extreme. I mean more of a "detox" so to speak. For me personally, I intend to use it solely as an educational tool after I get my real life more sorted.

        [–]Planner_Hammish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Civilization for me. I started in 1995, with a multipak game. Then Civ 2 came out, and I begged my dad to get it for me, and later the expansions. I played until I found Alpha Centurai, and that was the main one. I spent thousands of hours playing. I could beat it on deity, leaving competitors magnitudes behind. In 2005, I quit cold turkey, and it was difficult, but it was good. I was "clean" for three years, and then my brother sent me Civ 4 BTS the week before my final term exams at university. Worst decision to install before finishing. I ended up not handing in papers. I was unemployed for about a year afterwards, and playing the game isnt to blame, but it didnt help either. I stopped playing for a bit because of all the frustrating crap within the game. I actually tried to program my own mod (i have no experience doing so). That went on for a bit, but found a mod I liked and started playing again. I don't play anymore, and I mostly regret the time spent. Conservatively, if I played 2hours a day (yeah, right) over those ten years I would have put in 7300 hours. The actual number is probably double. Imagine if I had spent that time doing something, like woodworking, working out, building a canoe, learning a language, researching equities, or whatever.

        [–]DoctorWelch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I went to college and dropped out after getting accepted to a "Game Design" school. I never actually went to that because it was probably a scam and I did go back to college.

        Thing is, I always loved video games, and more than just superficially. I knew that if there was something I wanted to do with my life I wanted it to be video game related. So, I spent a lot of my time playing games and getting to know all different aspects of the industry and game creation. I even started writing about games because if there was one thing I wanted to do with my life it was to review games.

        Fast forward a few years and 2014 has been the year of redemption. I broke up with my gf of 3 years, stopped playing video games (the last one I played not counting Dota 2 was Dark Souls 2 back in May), found TRP, and have changed my life around.

        Dota 2 really is an addiction. I was addicted to it for the past year and a half and finally broke the addiction a few months ago. I still have this gut feeling of abandonment. I have this odd feeling that I gave up on finding a career in something I loved, but I think this is just the sunk cost fallacy. The amount of time I spent playing Dota 2 and other video games could have been better spent elsewhere.

        I honestly do think video games help develop skills within the brain that are useful when applied to other areas of your life. The problem is actually transitioning from focusing all that energy and skill into something essentially useless into something more useful. I'm also determined to try and use everything I've learned about the industry and certain aspects of specific games like Dota to produce and create something useful from that knowledge whether it be Dota Guides, or a PR company specifically for gaming.

        To conclude, I totally agree that video games can be addicting and should probably be cut out of your life. There are definitely things you can learn from games, skills that come from mastering something, and information that you can use to create something worth value, the key is channeling all the energy you put into playing a game into something else more useful.

        [–]Cacciaguida 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        the problem is your using WoW as an example. That's like using meth as an example for all drugs.

        And no, I'm not going to give up my games, shit like this is just as annoying as the anti-masturbation rhetoric.

        Just because it worked for you, don't mean it will work for all of us. Sometimes the problems are underlying and the games/porn are a symptom not a cause.

        [–]merkmerk73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I get the same thing out of gaming that I get out of watching football or any other form of television.

        That is to say, nothing but hedonistic entertainment. And maybe some socializing topics and cultural awareness if you want to be generous.

        You make some great points, but the simple fact of the matter is most of us aren't going to go out there and be ultimate alpha warriors conquering pussy left and right.

        Most of us will just not put up with some bitchy bullshit from our girlfriend, and get extra blowjobs by not being a pussy, or not chase after a girl like a chump.

        And that's okay

        [–]YaBoiTibzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I believe video games are like almost anything in life--good in moderation, bad when it starts to control you. I've seen people who were ruined by video game addiction in a similar way to alcohol or drug abuse, they just couldn't stop, failed classes, lost their good job, etc.

        My personal experience has been that in the past few years, I have had to give up all forms of social gaming. PvP, PvE, it doesn't matter, if it involves playing with other people I dropped it. You're exactly right that the human interaction you get from it far too easily replaces real-life human interaction.

        I only play single-player games now and have a far more healthy social life because I cannot meet or talk to any real people through the games. When I get done playing, I still have that craving for human interaction which hasn't been fulfilled yet.

        I also find it funny that this is such a hot topic on a sub like TRP, but I guess it is still reddit, so not that surprising.

        [–]t-_-j 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Your problem was time management, not video games.

        Don't give up video games, give up playing them 5+ hours a day.

        You make fair points about letting them become a substitute for real adventure, real entertainment you create yourself with your own adventures. This is dangerous and it is a worthy warning.

        However I think the real lesson is moderation, men need to be strong enough to experience something they love and not let it take over their lives. Like with a woman - don't be subservient to your desire for her - same with games, don't let them get in the way of your goals, don't let them become your goals.

        [–]dinosaurier420blaze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Do you think gaming is bad even if it's always the bottom priority in your life? I do play online games pretty regularly, but I only do it when I'm done with my day. Sure, I could learn programming during that time. But don't we all need to relax and detach every now and then? At least that's the way I feel about it.

        [–]Chrispy3690 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        they provide an outlet for your competitive masculine urges and instincts. The joy of exploration, the need for adventure, the desperate yearning for competition... When you get that through a game, you reach a point of satiety and don't seek it in real life.

        Why isn't this being talked about more? This bit of information seems so on point that I'm having a hard time getting past just this. I'm not sure if the OP has a source to backup this theory but there should absolutely be someone looking into this.

        • Women: "We want men to be less aggressive."
        • Men: "Are you sure? That's pretty much what got this species where it is today."
        • Women: "illogical nonsense Yes."
        • Men: "Ok, I guess." Invents video games
        • -Time Passes-
        • Women: "Stop playing video games! You guys are such pussy, whiny, loser, babies because you play games all the time!"
        • Men: "Le Sigh"

        [–]mghow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I play video games and guess what? I do so in moderation. By the sounds of it, you played in excess and it took over your entire life and your reason for living. Stop projecting, some of us can enjoy a video game and still have the will to leave our bedroom.

        Video games for ever!

        [–]RedPillExclusive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The fuck is this?

        I do whatever the fuck I want.

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        Any addiction is bad. An addiction to cocaine can lead to you OD'ing. An addiction to chasing women can lead to you being broke. An addiction to being on the internet or playing video games can lead to you not developing well socially.

        All addictions have consequences.

        [–]ucancallmehansum 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I'm genuinely addicted to learning foreign languages. Like, I could never see myself quitting. Ever. The girls love it, but then freak out when they realize what a recluse you have to be to learn so many languages.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


          [–]HerrV 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Did you even read the post? If you did and all you could make out was OP saying "fuck you gamer nerds" then read again and don't post again until you actually have something to say.

          [–]Astronauts 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          It's true.

          I love the fuck out of videogames, I have a billion internet friends that always guilt trip me about quitting, but I just can't anymore. Every second I spend playing games there's a tiny voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm wasting my time. Of course there's another voice providing cognitive dissonance, telling me that anything I do that brings me joy cannot be a waste of time - but even then, I look back at my weights and I see the ebooks I've been studying minimized beneath the games, and the feeling doesn't go away. Even playing a game for 30 or 60 minutes makes me feel like shit. I realized that every second I spend on some shitty freemium MMORPG or DOTA clone is just another second I spend maintaining the status quo and going nowhere, running around inside some game designer's Skinner box.

          Speaking of games, there's one game that I'll never forget - and it's somewhat relevant. It's called Planescape: Torment. It's a long story, but the gist of it revolves around one question: What can change the nature of a man? It's one of those old CRPGs from the 90s where the answers were all grey and ambiguous and they let you choose your own ending, but the writer has gone on the books and given his answer, and it shows in the narrative. According to him, the only thing that can change the nature of a man is regret.

          I tend to agree. These days, regret is my barometer. I actively regret playing these games, and as much as I try to ignore that feeling it snuggles down inside of me and refuses to leave until I address it. Bluepill thinking will tell you to bargain with it or to ignore it and do whatever makes you most comfortable. Fuck that. Regret is healthy. Regret is the one thing you will never stop feeling because it's the sound inside your soul that your hopes and dreams make as you smother them. Listen to it.

          Edit: I should mention however that some games, especially games that have a defined end point and thought-provoking mechanics, can be worth your time. Things like Dwarf Fortress or Kerbal Space Program or certain (rare) RPGs with good writing.

          [–]19 Endorsed Contributordrrrrrr[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Hahaha, Dwarf Fortress is a brilliant game, back in the really early days when it came out and there was no tilesets or anything I would play it. It's honest in that regardless of what you do, you will have nothing to show for it because something will destroy everything.

          I am not saying games can't be brilliant, give you a mental workout, or take you through literary-quality themes. They can. But even when they are really high-quality, immersive, thought-provoking experiences, they aren't helping you on an RP journey, hence the voice of regret you are talking about.

          [–]AlwaysBulking1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          I used to be really into gaming but around the age of 15 my interest in it just disappeared overnight and since then I haven't played a game for more than an hour. My gaming addiction was replaced with lifting and combat sports, put on 50 pounds since then and overall I am much happier.

          [–]chillmonkey88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I enjoy this post... I think gamers in trp are probably less addicted and more casual... your examples are great games to not play because constant attention to the game are key to success and failing is easy when you fall behind so you get sucked in... we all have vices that need to stop that other successful people can easily regulate and if you fit the criteria of gamers in op or play games in the op (except sc2... silver scrub zerg down here, swarm all day baby gg) or fit the lackluster life described by op, then you definitely need to consider not playing them at all... because almost all the examples are the formula of (time invested + skill + sometimes money = success... and you don't want to be a silver scrub do you?). control your time, control your fate...

          I have a friend that became obese over wow and still has a hard time giving up the sticks and getting out so I can't say I relate to a lot of other posters here but I do however have a good sticking point on what's okay acceptable for gaming and what's not.

          [–]HermitOnAJourney 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          Honestly, MMA replaced gaming for me.

          Only reason I play LoL now is just to hang out with my buddies and that's about an hour on days that I do play.

          Need my 8 hours of sleep or I won't be able to get through the day.

          [–]AlwaysBulking1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Feels, need so much sleep in order to function when you train so much

          [–]cheechawcheechaw 2 points3 points  (3 children)

          I am regurlarly playing LoL and still have a decent live. Don't know where the problem is when you know your limits.

          [–]dencrypt 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          Totally agree.

          In Sweden we have a saying: "Lagom är bäst" ... which roughly translates to: "Just the right amount". Anything that takes away too much of your social-life, be it women or friends is not good for you. That can be drugs, games, TV, jacking off... even sex.

          If I wan't to play one of my jRPG together with a nice whiskey a few hours after a full week of working my ass off then I will do so.

          [–]ER_HerbalTea 1 point2 points  (3 children)

          "I haven't played for 4 years" - Your League of Legends post asking for jungling advice a year ago suggests otherwise.

          "I work in gaming." - Unless you're some prodigy I doubt you developed the programming skills necessary to be any thing other than a journalist( which in gaming is more or less a /r/circlejerk contributor) in the past year that you asked for which language to start.

          Also you didn't describe negative affects of gaming you described addiction. I would think that someone who "works in gaming" would know better than to falsely attribute the consequences of addiction to gaming rather than to the individual who lacks self control.

          You want to blame your short comings on gaming? Go ahead, you're still the one coming up short. This blame game has always been left to uninformed parents and CNN, I thought better of this sub than that. Even worst is that the post is gilded. The fact is gaming is a place where you can develop a healthy sense of competition, form bonds, and unwind for the day.

          It's shameful that it comes under such constant scrutiny from this sub and the blame game has never been what TRP is about. I came to this sub looking to rebuild my viewpoint on the male identity in an effort to help mold myself into the man I want to be. NOWHERE in that process is there blame for anyone or anything but myself.

          [–]jastrow 2 points3 points  (3 children)

          Those here that play video games more than once a month (those specifically defending playing video games), if you cannot right this moment walk over to your gaming system, willingly and successful gather up all peices/parts/disks/games and carry them over to the nearest dumpster and throw them away right this moment after reading this post never to own a system again, complete your current favorite game, spend quality time with you online gaming friends you have never met, are addicted....don't argue back, rationalize, come up with excuses, etc.... Do it right now. Take the money you would spend on games and buy something tangible; an instrument, a canvas and paints, an antique (insert wtf here) to restore, collect rocks, buy a gun and goto the range, build a race car (or soap box derby car), go for a walk (or jog if you are foolishly young enough to do so) or peddle bike every evening that you would have played games, take classes to improve your work situations (or watch youtube video classes and learn something you don't know to impress your boss), read books, chase women, go to the gym (groan), learn to cook (not involving a box or a microwave), blah, blah, get the point.

 is your blue pill.....

          [–]demoneyes905 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          People need outlets to relax. I for one can't work with 100% productivity all the fucking time. Your brain needs something mindless sometimes to unwind.

          Also, how is this any different for noneducational TV or watching sports?

          That doesn't mean I am not productive. I lift almost every other day, read books on programming and behavioral psychology for about 2-3 hours a day, learn to play an instrument and learn how to dance and still have time to spin plates and go out with friends.

          The key is moderation. Limit games anywhere between one hour a day to once a month (depending on your level of self control)

          [–]jastrow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          It is worse than TV. I gave that up as well. If you find the need to rationalize gaming to me.....well here is your blue pill....I'm just the grumpy old guy sitting in a dark corner sipping my whiskey listening and watching everyone else. Don't mind me.

          [–]vnjxk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Nice timing I just quitted LoL, best advice to you guys from me is give away your account, or ruin everything you have, just so you won't come back to it after a while

          [–]demoneyes905 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Why do so many people in TRP jump to extremes?

          All in moderation. You can do gaming as long as you have the self discipline to limit it to a very small amount of time like once a week for maybe an hour or two.

          What the hell is the difference between video games and watching non-educational TV programming? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Yet so many people here don't complain about it like it's the bane of their existence

          Some people have 0 self control and so for those people, this advice makes sense.

          Hell, when I started monk mode, I didn't touch games for 6 months but now I incorporate games as a way of releasing stress and interacting with others. I still have time to improve my skills for my career, learn how to dance, learn how to play a musical instrument for an hour and read books on behavioral psychology and programming for at least 2-3 hours a day.

          When you get to a certain state in your life when productivity is your modus operandi, you can afford to add gaming into your life as long as the time limits is shared with other nonproductive tendencies. For example, I watch TV for 40 min a day as a way to take my mind off things before returning to side projects and reading. You can just replace gaming with that non productive TV watching and as long as you have the self control to stop and limit yourself, then you can have the best of both worlds.

          [–]harkrank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Watching TV is such a given that nobody mentions it. If you watch TV you hate your soul and mind and want them to rot and die.

          [–]TaylorWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          If you can't handle moderation then maybe you should quit cold turkey.

          Unless your like me and instead of quitting smoking cigarettes, you buy about 10 packs per year and can occasionally enjoy one without going off the rails.

          I was as hardcore into WoW as anybody for 4-5 years and the junkie lifestyle is way behind me. Just because now I want to play a few games of Super Smash Bros or Marvel vs Capcom 3 is not going to hurt me or slow me down.

          [–]duglock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Nice post OP but you completely miss the point. This is like an alcoholic saying nobody should should drink because it will ruin their life which completely ignores the point the vast majority of people can enjoy it in moderation.

          I'm almost 40 and play about 2-3 hours a week. Nothing in your post tells me why that is a bad thing. What people do to relieve stress is amoral if it causes no harm and cannot by definition be right or wrong.

          [–]Aksfsc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I don't fully agree with you on this one. I can understand what you're getting it, but what you're doing is blaming video games for your own problem.

          Just because you couldn't control yourself doesn't mean video games aren't red pill or fuck up your masculinity or whatever stupid excuse you want to make.

          I always thought a major part of red pill was understanding yourself, taking responsibility for yourself, striding to be a better man etc. Well, what you're doing isn't that, at all. You had a problem controlling yourself. Video games weren't maliciously eating away at your manhood. Especially for you, since you claim you work within the industry. Video games should be a large part of your life.

          Although I'm glad you cut them out of your life considering it was clearly a problem for you.

          Everything in moderation.

          [–]Ermgotthis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I still play a bit. Something like 2 or 3 hours a week, a bit more on week-end. But way less than before, and I do a lot more stuff aside. I enjoy it, it's a good distraction, but it's a hobbie : my life doesn't revolve around it.

          [–]1trplurker 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          Hmm this is too black / white of an approach on what is a very large and varied spectrum. "Video Games" need to be broken down into two segments, first is entertainment games, second is competitive games. Sometimes these segments mix but most often they are kept distinctly apart because each has it's own goal and purpose. Often a particular game will include modes of play that address both as a way of widening it's appeal and consumer base, they are still different types of gaming and need to be addressed separately.

          First there is entertainment games, these are games designed around providing entertainment to the user. They can range anywhere from the lighthearted quick fun of bejeweled / angry birds / solitaire to the more complex fantasy / SF elements present in RPGs and Action Adventure games. They are all some form of escapism aimed at providing entertainment, fun and enjoyment. The goal is the user experiences pleasure. They are not serious.

          The second is competitive games, these are the online interactive games that pit player against player as a form of competitive sport. The goal is not enjoyment, though that often happens, but a method for the users to experience competition and create / refine various skillsets. Contrary to the OP's position, the skillsets required to master games like SC / LOL / COD / BF / ect.. are not unique to each game or even to gaming itself. It's the ability to discern rules and apply those rules in creating strategy and applying that strategy to a tactical situation.

          In both cases the user is entering into an exchange of their time for something, either a pleasurable escapist feeling or a competitive skill event. As long as the user is aware of what they are exchanging and is capable of controlling and prioritizing their time in such a way as to not have a detrimental impact on ones life, then there is zero harm being done. The OP himself even argues for this as unless your trying to procreate, having sex with women is exchanging your time for a pleasurable experience, and playing a sport is just a skill based competition. The central problem arises when a user becomes addicted to the event itself, that they chose to allow detrimental effects on their life by either escaping or "getting lost in" their sport of choice. We shouldn't be so foolish as to think ourselves above addiction because we choice to avoid one particular poison. As long as games, both video and physical, are used in moderation they are no more dangerous then wine, a nice cigar, or that sweet pussy you got coming over later.

          [–]primordialbeast85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Wait so giving up something you enjoy for women is redpill? Isn't that backwards?

          [–]DeviousPaco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Didn't read, still gonna play vidiya games.