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[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 128 points129 points  (8 children)

The gender swapped version of this is men who spend more on their mistresses than wives.

[–]GC0W30 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Would you count the money I spend supporting my wife's lifestyle [not charging rent, buying groceries...] in that calculation?

[–]91239477348238942983 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Pfft yes. Last time I checked those cost money and she would be dead if you or someone did not do it for her.

[–]voomer53 3 points4 points  (1 child)

We need a post on how much and how many resources we devote to our wives and families which then becomes a baseline expectation completely unconnected with their perceived happiness...

[–]1oldredder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like the wifestitute videos Terrence Popp aka bad popp does. He breaks down the math & converts it (usually post-divorce) to dollars-per-bang at maximum-bangs-reasonable kinda level.

[–]Traz_Onmale 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Men who spent more on their previous wife than they do on their current one would be more accurate.

[–]87GNX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

would be that i ever find myself in that position

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger 78 points79 points  (10 children)

This post is, generally, good advice. But I’d couch it with a few provisos.

For example, let’s say a girl tried a particular sex act with her last boyfriend, just once, and didn’t like it. It hurt. She didn’t enjoy it at all. It didn’t turn her on. It was a bad experience. She didn’t like it. She never did it again.

Obviously, you wouldn’t proclaim, “You tried X with your last boyfriend! Now you won’t try it with me. You clearly don’t respect me!” That would be stupid.

But if a girl did particular sex acts in the past with others, enjoyed those things just fine, but with you she wants a different kind of relationship. Those past relationships were fun, sexual, kinky, non-serious, and she wanted to get that out of her system, but now she wants a more serious relationship with you? Fuck that noise. She gave her full sexuality to her previous partners and is giving a mere portion of that to you, under the guise of complementing you by calling you a more serious partner? So you, a better, more loving partner that she cares about more and is more serious about experiences less of her sexuality?

But women compartmentalize like that. While it boggles us, it makes perfect sense to women. Every man is a different kind of relationship for a woman, and it seems natural to her to want one kind of relationship with one guy, and a completely different kind of relationship with you. She actually feels different with you. She actually doesn’t want that first kind of relationship with you. Those sex acts she enjoyed previously wouldn’t be enjoyable with you, because she’s having an entirely different relationship experience with you. – We’re smart enough to know that this signifies a lack of sexual attraction, a lack of respect, a lack of admiration, etc. But women don’t get that. In a woman’s mind, having a completely different sex life with a fun sex guy from the past, versus her husbands, is normal. (The plural use of “husbands” is intentional.)

The really fun times come when you have a woman who falls in that second category, that’s lying to you about her past. Someone who was all about the fun sex and loved every minute of it, but tells you it was just this one time, and she hated it and never did it again, so you don’t feel bad about her denying you and you never ask again. Screen your women well.

[–]Summertime_Dimes 12 points13 points  (7 children)

You answered my precise question before I asked it.

Spinning a plate that let her first boyfriend stick it in her ass. She hated it, and is 100% anti-anal.

On the one hand, fuck that because he went in dry and she should give it another chance. On the other, she was traumatized and understandably wants nothing to do with it.

Generally, I am of the mind that if you let your boyfriend try it - I get to. But physical trauma can be a game changer. I would be shocked if she has me pegged as a beta, given the fact she knows I see other women and is otherwise rambunctious in bed... but something isn't sitting right with me about this.

You got any thoughts, bro?

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's all about how you spin it. If you're getting that sex act elsewhere and she knows it, you're not really giving anything up. Yeah, you like that sex act, but it's not worth listening to a girl whine and complain. You just find a willing girl from all of your options.

If that's your attitude, you're fine.

[–]1Zanford 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Don't be a tool. 99.9% of time a girl says she was traumatized or had a bad experience, it is not legit trauma aka PTSD. Plus like you said, it can be modified (using lube for anal etc.). Also she should be able to get over that shit.

If she really is traumatized and "can't" do what you want, she's damaged goods, a broken woman. Next her. Doen'st mater whether it's "her fault".

In my experience, all women like anal just fine, as long as you build up enough attraction, and use lube.

[–]1Modified_Hackware 6 points7 points  (1 child)

As long as you build up enough attraction.

http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0044111

Women's arousal level directly moderates their ability to be disgusted by certain sex acts.

Get her horny enough and she'll do ass to mouth enthusiastically.

[–]RPthrowaway123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know I'd go that far. Some women just don't find the idea sexy. To be honest I don't like anal (I have a large penis which makes it difficult, combined with a natural aversion to shit) so if she saw my dick and said "no way that fits in my ass" I'm not going to rip her a new asshole just to make a point. I will definitely cum on her face and all manner of other dirty things of course.

[–]Summertime_Dimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what I needed to hear, bro. Appreciated.

[–]trias_e 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All potential partners: Fuck Zanford in the ass, then do it again because if he didn't like it the first time and can't get over it he's broken goods (and if he liked it the first time, well, do it again for his sake!)

[–]galvanised_computer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remember hamsters might try to hide their previous sex lives and partner count if they are looking for a LTR beta provider.

[–]hagenvontronje 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It all boils down to frame and abundance

I am a man, there are sexual acts that I will do, and if you aren't down for them you can fuck off and join the circus for all I care because some girl out there is down for it. If you hold that frame, you are fine. But she'll try to impose her frame of "I'm not that kind of girl" or even better "I'm not that kind of girl anymore"

[–]drdgaf 194 points195 points  (20 children)

This is why I make them all play the rusty trombone. My heart can't soar unless I hear that music.

[–]tyzon05 11 points12 points  (3 children)

As a trombone player I have an excellent segue into this.

Just make sure your girl is playing jazz, not classical.

[–]NotReallyEthicalLOL 3 points4 points  (2 children)

what's wrong with classical?

[–]tyzon05 4 points5 points  (1 child)

The slides, turns, and falls really make the solo stand out. Don't even get me started on the growls.

Classical music is great, but on a rusty horn it's best to really get down.

[–]12FAM0US 4 points5 points  (0 children)

for a classical rusty trombone performance the bitch needs to wait like 85 measures until her entrance. nobody got time for that

[–]chewy_dragee 35 points36 points  (4 children)

The song of your people?

Official instrument of the RP anthem.

[–]1Dev_on 16 points17 points  (3 children)

God I hope not. Surely we don't all have to be in scat porn or some shit

[–]Ralt 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That isn't part of scat, it's just a nice rimjob with a handjob at the same time.

[–]1Dev_on 2 points3 points  (0 children)

just an example to illustrate. I assume on some of the german-esque stuff, I'm pretty plain.

[–]joshecf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, now I know what a rusty trombone is

[–]Esminia 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Care the explain the metaphor please ? I don't really catch it

[–]1Mucl 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's literal. You keep a trombone around and if she plays it, by golly she's a keeper.

[–]Antagonistic_Comment 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Ignore captain dickface over there telling you to look it up yourself - it's just a slang term for a sexual act that little kids used to try to make themselves sound cool.

[–]Esminia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well he's right, it's findable on google, I though it was a meta-joke or something more obscure than that that couldn't be found on the google. He's a jerk, but he's right

[–]drdgaf 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh I'm sorry. Let me help you. There is this amazing website. It's a bit new, only been online for the last 15 years or so. Anyway, you can type things into it and it'll give you links to relevant information. I think it's called Joogle or Loogle, I can't remember.

[–]theredcandy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Also, if she's withholding on doing certain things with you, it's perhaps because she sees you as a long term partner, and not a casual hook up.

And if that's the case, you don't want anything to do with her. Fuck her, and next that bitch.

But consider that she also helped you out. She let you know, indirectly, that you're giving off some beta vibez. If she used to do X, and she's not doing X with you, out of fear of looking slutty, then you're her beta bux.

[–]drrtyfrrnr 172 points173 points  (36 children)

Good post. The only thing I'd change is:

For the women who may be getting furious reading this, lol

Don't need to justify anything to anyone.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 85 points86 points  (17 children)

It doesnt matter what women say about TRP. It also doesnt matter what women say about video games. Why? Because if they truly wanted change they would change the culture by providing a viable alternative. When was the last time you saw a woman write in a male friendly tone about game? When was the last time a woman tried to make a game that appealed to men?

[–]icallmyselfmonster 32 points33 points  (5 children)

Bayonetta, check mate Anita Sarcasian

[–]Alarid 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Got boner. Checkmate Anita.

[–]icallmyselfmonster 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I'd be impressed if you got a boner from Anita though.

[–]Alarid 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If she was naked, maybe involuntarily.

[–]icallmyselfmonster 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Shitlord saying you would rape her.

[–]1IVIaskerade 45 points46 points  (6 children)

When was the last time a woman tried to make a game that appealed to men?

Quite recently, actually. A fair number of non-hysterical women work in gaming. Bayonetta was one, and I'm fairly sure there was a woman in charge of a good bit of Ubisoft's dev cycle. You just don't hear about them because they don't think games need to change.

[–]1Dev_on 26 points27 points  (0 children)

it's funny, like how a lot of STEM women are geting pissed at donglegate and the other crap... real people who gave up being a princess to do real work, getting drowned out by bachelor of arts/communications rejects who figured out how to work the twitter

[–]hairaware 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jade something I think. Worked on assassins creed games.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]1IVIaskerade 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    You've missed the point of AWALT. It is impossible to make completely universal statements regarding people. Statments that say "All X is like this" actually mean "Enough members of group X fit this description to a sufficient level that applying it as if every member fit the description until such a time as it can be modified to the individual will yield the best results."

    That's too much of a mouthful to write out every time, so we say AWALT. In a lot of areas it's called the 5th-95th percentile.

    [–]R4F1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That, and the fact that AWALT is really pointing out a woman's psychological and biological makeup. Which means no matter how different we are as individuals, we are all essentially the same at the end of the day. That is true for all woman, hence, AWALT.

    [–]tallwheel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Amy Hennig. Creative Director of the Uncharted series.

    [–]1Dev_on 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    but anitta sarkesian suggested making Ms. prince of persia...

    Thats how game developent works right? say what you want, and nag until you get it.

    [–]silly_bird 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    It's worked for feminists so far.

    [–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    if you're aspiring to be the male version of a femenist, you're in teh wrong place

    [–]TheRealMouseRat 16 points17 points  (12 children)

    Well, you could always just "win" with logic. In this case that's the only thing you need to show that this is correct. If I had done anal or light bdsm with an ex (for instance), and my current gf wanted us to do it, but I didn't, I would think she would have the right to be angry with me.

    I do consider some sexual things different, like swinging stuff like threesums, as some relationships can have a more monogamous style than others. (for instance if I and a buddy eiffel-tower'ed a random girl some time, I wouldn't consider it fair of a later girlfriend to demand we eiffel tower her too, since it's a different kind of relationship than fwb or random hook up.)

    [–]Lt_Muffintoes 8 points9 points  (6 children)

    Interesting point. There is a difference between a one off thing and it being on the reg.

    If you try something and find you don't like it (bdsm, pegging, whatever weird shit people get up to), then the absolute most you owe future partners is to try it with them once.

    If on the other hand, you are an anal fuckslut for previous partners, but a total prude with future ones who would like the fuckslut, you are a cunt.

    [–]TheRealMouseRat 6 points7 points  (5 children)

    Yep, that's what I meant. I like principles though, and I consider things that apply to women should apply to men as well and vice versa.

    [–]Lt_Muffintoes 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    Yeah, principles should apply to both genders, and I was, but men and women are different, so that's not always true.

    It did get me thinking though. If I engaged in something I didn't like for a girl, then didn't want to do it for the next girl, there is more than one issue raised:

    • Why did I do something I was uncomfortable with? Am I so desperate for that person's validation?
    • Am I obliged to keep it up if I genuinely didn't like it? If I didn't hide what I did, is there really shame in not wanting to do it again?

    I think it comes down to honesty in the end. If your girl tells you what she did, and that she doesn't want to do it again, then she has given you the respect of making your own choice whether it is a dealbreaker for you.

    If, on the other hand, she hides it, and dodges around the issue, she has removed your ability to make a choice based on all the information. Quite apart form the disrespect of giving you less than Chads, she has massively disrespected you as leader, as a man.

    To me, that is the unforgivable aspect.

    [–]1Dev_on 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    well, we do know AWALT. that post last week about the chick getting ready to switch branches, and her SO of the time facefucked her then left... kept talking about how she didn't like this or that, but then complied instantly when he put a little base in her voice.

    people don't like a lot of things, but put up with them because they get what they want (validation)

    [–]Lt_Muffintoes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Got a link?

    people don't like a lot of things, but put up with them because they get what they want

    And they're free to do that. Doesn't mean their relationships aren't totally dysfunctional. If you love anal, and but your girl doesn't, because it hurts her or makes her feel uncomfortable (if she doesn't because you don't give her tingles, then your relationship is automatically dysfunctional/fucked), then you have to compromise or break up.

    In a functional relationship, maybe she takes it up the pooper every now and then, or does some other filthy shit for you instead, or lets you buttbang another girl, whatever. The point is, you talk about it and work out a win-win solution.

    In a dysfunctional relationship, this compromise is unspoken and a source of malcontent. Either she puts up with it, or you don't get what you want. The situation is win-lose.

    http://fdrurl.com/rtrpdf

    [–]drrtyfrrnr 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Well, sex-wise there's a bit of a difference between men and women. Women are much more likely to do stuff that they otherwise wouldn't do if they've got stars in their eyes for the guy (hello mousy girl who would do dirty things for the football captain but not for the nerd who ultimately dates her), so it's not a given that everything can apply to men and women equally. The world is not so black and white.

    [–]1Dev_on 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It can be in this case. It's just a simple ethical choice. Holding someone to the same standard you'd hold yourself to.

    in that sense, it's a choice for many here... we already deal with the biggest teenager in theh room, no sense holding her to ahigher standard than you hold yourself up to, if we believe in the pragmatism here, we know full on thats a standard they aren't going to meet... ever

    [–]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    What? No she wouldnt. You have the right over your body and what you want to do with it. If you're not comfortable with them or decide you don't like it anymore you have all right to not do it. If you're partner gets angry than they can just shut the fuck up.

    I get it, RPers like sex. Fine. Whatever. But are you really going to blame a woman for not wanting to do something she might not really like, might've been pressured into? What if she doesn't feel comfortable with you do that (yet)? Wouldn't surprise me considering how rapey y'all come off as.

    And no, you do not owe your partners to try something once again. Did anal, didn't like it? You don't owe them to do it again. Sure, maybe it would be different with a different person. But some people just don't want to do something again, whether it be a bad experience or just knowing they don't like it. I mean, it's one thing if, like, you get pegged. Since it doesn't really harm them. But still. If you're forcing someone to do something they're not comfortable with in the bedroom because 'well you did it beforeeee' you're a shitty person who doesn't deserve the other person.

    [–]TheRealMouseRat 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I think you may have misunderstood one thing about what I wrote. I meant that the person did enjoy doing those things before, not that "oh you tried anal with a guy one time before, so you have to do it with me every day". I think the best example for this situation is oral sex. It's not that special like anal, and it's very much a "do something amazing for the other person and get little back"-situation.

    As long as it's reciprocated by the partner, and you have done it many times before (so you are definitely comfortable with doing it), then there is no reason why a person would refuse to go down on ones partner. (other than thinking "it's too much hassle and I don't really care about this other person anyway")

    [–]CochinBrahmaLover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    ...mmmm yeah that makes sense. Sorry.

    [–]garlicextract 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well, you could always just "win" with logic

    Quite the opposite, good sir. You can NEVER win with logic unless you're debating a guy.

    [–]zensunset 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    If the justification is useful in helping others understand than I can swallow my pride. I think it's better to act in ways that change people and things, even if you have to justify. Just make sure you're not doing it from a place of insecurity and have self-respect.

    [–]BluebirdJingle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    It doesn't seem to be a justification but rather an explanation of why this is a rational thing to do, especially for those of us who are still brainwashed into thinking that demanding sex is somehow a cruel and misogynistic thing to do.

    [–]1IVIaskerade 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Were not demanding sex, though. You can't demand something you have no control over. Instead, we're setting ourselves up so the women want to have sex, and will be enthusiastic when we ask.

    [–]JustSoha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    i understand but i dont agree. that justify is acceptable because he bring another good point about doing the same stuff with a girl like refusing to buy shits to her while he did buy lots of things to the ex.

    [–]Snivellious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What he has makes for an interesting analogy though. Framing the other side of these things can be informative even if there's no actual need to justify the claim.

    [–]intrcept 26 points27 points  (44 children)

    How do you know what she did with other guys?

    [–]wazzapmang 16 points17 points  (7 children)

    well if somehow it ever comes up. i've had a woman tell me what she did with her ex and it got to me. sometimes they just tell you, for whatever reason i don't know.

    if you don't know what she did in the past, then it doesn't really apply to you until you find out (if that's what you want to do).

    [–]BlackHeart89 13 points14 points  (6 children)

    sometimes they just tell you, for whatever reason i don't know.

    I never understood why they do this. I thought it was common sense to shut the fuck up about sex with previous partners. Apparently not. Maybe they're verbally tossing me their resume?

    [–]fortifiedoranges 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    Personally I think it's a major shit test, but some guys here have said women like to brag because they think you will find them more attractive. The minute a woman brags about guys she's fucked or sexual acts, she's out the door. To me, there is nothing less attractive than a woman who will talk openly about sexual acts with people she doesn't know well. I don't talk about the girl who queefed on my dick last week, because I have basic social graces.

    When women talk about that shit it comes off as too try-hard. Like they're just saying what they think you want to hear. It's like the little kid using curse words to appear older.

    [–]1KyfhoMyoba 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    women like to brag because they think you will find them more attractive.

    Like they think that flirting with another guy will make you like them. What works on them doesn't work on us. When they think that it does, it's called projection.

    [–]BlackHeart89 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    It's like the little kid using curse words to appear older.

    Maybe thats it. Smdh.

    Yeah. In my experiences, they more they say regarding this, the deeper into plate territory they go.

    [–]foldpak111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That and it's like a guy bragging about how many girls he's Masturbate to on the internet.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Nah. It works differently with men, depending on how its brought it and the purpose.

      Women find men more appealing if they know other women want them. Matter of fact, if they feel you can't get women, they will dry up quick. You're only as desirable as other women deem you to be.

      For men, we don't give a fuck what other guys think. We don't want to hear her resume of how many dicks she's fucked or even what she did with her one and only dick. All we want to know is what are they going to do for us.

      But never just blatantly tell a chick. "Yeah. I'm fucking other chicks. So if you don't want to get left behind, you better drop those panties". It has to be subtle hints. But honestly, it really depends on your delivery. If thats right, you can get away with saying almost anything. Also, SMV has a large impact on what you can get away with.

      [–]TimPartendale 29 points30 points  (30 children)

      I probe with questions like:

      "What's the craziest thing you've done while having sex?"

      "Where was the craziest place you've had sex?"

      "Did you ever do _____, did you like it?"

      Some guys do this as first date banter, others wait until they know her a bit more, whatever your style is. I think, the sooner the better.

      If she doesn't give you an answer or goes "ummmm, nothing..." then egg her on a bit. If she's really got nil then share one of your stories (it doesn't have to be your craziest) then once you've opened up to her she usually tells you not one, but 2 or 3 crazy sex stories.

      Remember:

      – If you "barely" know her then smile and be welcoming the whole time otherwise she may feel uncomfortable sharing with you.

      – Sharing one of your stories is an easy way to coax her.

      – Even if she doesn't answer your question at this moment, the seed has been planted. You'll find her bring up the topic later down the road on her own accord.

      [–]garlicextract 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      So I'll be straight up honest. I don't know if I want to ask these questions because... the craziest place I've had sex that wasn't my bed, was a couch. You get the point. If I had more notches than a ladder on my bedpost I'd tell the stories but I don't unfortunately.

      If I ask her what she's done and she banged on a roof over the police station whereas I have no crazy stories, doesn't that just backfire strongly and make my SMV take a hit? Help a bro out who's not gone farther than vanilla.

      [–]xmarcs 13 points14 points  (26 children)

      Just trying to picture the 180° from "So what do you do for a living?" to "WHAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING YOU'VE DONE WHILE FUCKING OTHER DUDES" question on the first meeting. There's an insane amount of insecurity in this thread. If she did shit with someone else that she won't do to you, there's probably a reason for it and you can't cure it with a round of sexual history questionare. That's a comfort issue. If you want to know then that's your own endgame but more often than not you're gonna wind up finding out nothing and ruining your chances. That can't be fixed with "You're uncomfortable and that's fine. I'LL START. OKAY SO THIS ONE TIME AT BAND CAMP."

      [–]6Invalidity 26 points27 points  (5 children)

      Most women will try to maintain a chaste image in spite of the fact that most of them are very promiscuous. Females will generally try to disqualify men for a variety of reasons (too short, too fat, broke, has no job, has a low-paying job, lives with his mother, etc.). You'll see that for women, those are absolutely valid reasons for a woman to reject a man, but likewise, you will learn over time that a woman's promiscuity is a also a good reason to disqualify her.

      If she's done other wild sexual things with other guys, chances are, she probably enjoyed it and it didn't happen just once. Attractive guys not only get girls, but they get girls to do "crazy" things with them. If you've ever had threesomes with two girls, you'll understand that it takes a great deal of attraction on both their ends. The thing about girls is, they like their boyfriends, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are attracted to them.... and in most cases, they aren't. He just happens to be convenient for her.

      [–]TimPartendale 17 points18 points  (9 children)

      Just trying to picture the 180° from "So what do you do for a living?" to "WHAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING YOU'VE DONE WHILE FUCKING OTHER DUDES"

      Your opening sentence is completely illogical, nobody would act like that. And while I understand your comment, you're coming at me with the wrong premise.

      1. You won't believe the kinky shit I've talked to girls about on the first night I've ever met them. If your opening interaction is sexual then talking about sexual things isn't out of the ordinary. If your opening interaction is centered around "safe" topics like the weather, your job, and other mundane bullshit then of course you'll come off as creepy (unless you have Brad Pitt's SMV).

      2. I don't ask these questions because I'm insecure; I ask them because I'm genuinely curious, and if a girl has done things that I enjoy doing then that's bonus points for her.

      3. I clearly stated in my comment above "The sooner the better", but it's not necessarily 1st date material. SOME guys may use it as such and others may wait until later. You can pose these questions whenever you feel comfortable talking about this stuff.

      4. I liked your American Pie reference

      [–]FerrusMan 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      For the life of me I cannot understand how this reply gets 16 points. If a woman is willing to do something sexually for someone else, and not for you, it's because she was more highly attracted to that "someone else". ie more alpha, than she was you. The woman who complains about TMJ with you will happily go down and suck brad pitt off to completion and swallow it even. I don't think it's an insecurity thing, it's more of a barometer check. And if you aren't getting the sexual satisfaction you want, I think you either need to ramp up the alpha, or find someone who will.

      [–]bm2l 8 points9 points  (5 children)

      I don't ask what she does for a living because I really dont care. Turn the conversation sexual as soon as possible, because the longer you wait, it's weirder and harder to make the transition.

      [–]Matsew -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I wouldn't do this tbh. I don't need to imagine some woman I'm trying to fuck taking it from other guys.

      [–]SelfMadeMonarch 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Be 'enlightened and nonjudgemental'. If you wanna play games. Personally I'm just a sexual beast, always pushing boundaries, amazing what will slip when you're 'the guy' she's done the most with.

      [–]Smekiz 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      This is why couples hate Truth or Dare, i've witnessed more fights over that game than fucking anything LOL

      [–]1wiseclockcounter 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      It's a good idea to drop these situations because no doubt they'll breed a shit dynamic, but it's important to realize that if she's not getting the tingles from you, you're probably doing something wrong. Whether that amounts to your look, demeanor, or her expectations- AWALT still applies and you'll need to examine yourself and make some improvements for your next try.

      [–]1 Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 32 points33 points  (11 children)

      Erm. Isn't it the same as with partner count and you will never find out? Also, there are certainly things I'd gladly pass on doing. If her ex was a cacrophiliac, that bitch honestly can keep it to herself.

      Just make her do, what you want her to. I've never had a woman tell me she doesn't do X, unless it came with a "usually".

      "I usually don't swallow, but somehow it's different with you."

      Maybe refrain from introducing your silicon waifu and proposing a threesome though.

      [–]1exit_sandman 4 points5 points  (9 children)

      If her ex was a cacrophiliac, that bitch honestly can keep it to herself.

      Would you date her knowing that she did it?

      [–]1 Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 5 points6 points  (8 children)

      Definetly no. I'd be tolerant with water-games, but that shit's truly disgusting and beyond anything I am able to relate to.

      [–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 36 points37 points  (7 children)

      Water games like running through sprinklers and throwing water balloons?

      [–]1spicy_fries 38 points39 points  (1 child)

      I would never date a girl who was into Marco Polo. I fucking hate that game.

      [–]the_real_chronos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Best comment on this thread.

      [–]JackGetsIt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      you will never find out

      This is the problem. She won't admit to the sex acts so you really can't leverage what you don't know. But you can get it out of her friends and maybe even before dating her tease it out in conversations. Not hard to do.

      [–]1KyfhoMyoba 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      http://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/

      This is the post that woke me up. I don't know why - I've got nothing in my life that resembles what happened, but it struck a chord with me, and here I am.

      [–]apreotea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I must say, that was a gut-wrencher for me as well.

      Was reading Roissy / Roosh / AVFM / etc for awhile before that one, but that one really hit home hard.

      [–]RedHeimdall 16 points17 points  (3 children)

      I agree. This is a conclusion I arrived at as well before I ever heard of TRP. The way I thought about it was basically, any girl who wants to be my girl has to do stuff with me that is dirtier, sluttier, whore-ier, whatever you want to call it, than she's ever done before.

      I cannot knowingly be with a girl who's done dirtier stuff with other dudes... not if I want to have any self respect. This leads us to one of the oft-repeated tenets of TRP, that some girls are ruled out from LTR potential based on their pasts.

      For instance a girl who's been gangbanged (she'll call it a threesome initially because that sounds better, but once we've established it was her and two dudes, let's go ahead and call it a gangbang.) Leaving aside weird fetish shit, there is nothing dirtier she can do, short of throwing even more dudes into the mix, which of course would make the problem even worse.

      [–]OWNNWONOW 13 points14 points  (4 children)

      Huh? My dick hard as a mothafucka
      You don't what?! tell that shit to another sucka
      I ain't no sucker mama, come on fuck the drama
      And kiss it down, lil pucker-rama
      I'm so active, you being so drastic
      Got something for ya face, fuck pro-activ
      I'm a pro at this
      Round the globe, atlas
      But I need to know ma, are you gonna suck it or not?
      Babygirl, I'm in love with the twat
      Missionary, back shots, pop it off, rock it off
      I tell you right now if my cock is soft
      But I want head before and after, top it off
      On ya knees, show you how to top a boss
      Lick, suck, deep throat, stop, cough, hop on, hop off, lollipop off
      I know it's white, but here come the hot sauce

      -- Abraham Lincoln

      [–]DeviousVerendus 12 points13 points  (2 children)

      So that is what the uncensored version looks like.. My history teacher blacked out so much of it.

      [–]walkingthelinux 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      My history teacher was just . . . blacked out.

      We taught ourselves.

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Date her but do not consider a LTR. I don't really care if a plate doesn't wanna do something she has done in the past with another guy. I would still rather keep her as a plate along with anybody else I can land at the time.

      [–]InformalCriticism 2 points3 points  (4 children)

      Well shit, /r/redpilltom maybe my situation applies?

      I've been casually seeing this girl for a while. She has had threesomes in the past. She wouldn't want to have a girl in on the fun, because she said she would be super possessive/jealous/whatever. Likewise, I didn't like the idea of bringing a guy into bed, because I'm not even slightly bisexual.

      Is she just really into me, or is she treating me "different" in a bad way?

      [–]1KyfhoMyoba 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      She had threesomes in the past with other guy(s), she won't with you, ergo, she is treating you differently. She gave a highly valued sexual experience to other guy(s), she won't with/to you, how can this ever be characterized as good?

      [–]InformalCriticism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Well, sharing something you value (me) seems to mean the value is low. So, rather than purely carnal interest there is emotional as well. At least that's how it looks.

      [–]Jaq404 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      It sounds like she likes you.

      [–]sway_usa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Which is woman speak for she's not attracted to you. Run dude. You're a BB.

      [–]major_wake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I couldn't agree with this more than simply agreeing with it because I do.

      [–]gullwingz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      First serious relationship I ever had involved this same lesson. I remember having a conversation with her about how she used to fuck her boyfriend anytime and anywhere he wanted. I wasn't as fortunate as the last guy and as soon as I heard that I immediately felt inadequate. She was willing to do all this shit to please that guy, but not me. I was very naive and immature and lashed out, but still had the self respect to leave her sitting at that table, and dump her the next time we spoke.

      [–]twistedbrother2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I have a plate who is on a head strike with me because I won't eat her pussy... I would care more if I didn't have another plate who sucks my dick nonstop.

      But it's true, if a girl won't do something with you she did with others, you're chumping.

      [–]17 Endorsed Contributortrudatness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      This should go without saying.

      [–]wattwatty 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      I cannot believe the quantity and nature of debate on this post. This notion is absolutely foundational to TRP! Of course you can cook up various scenarios wherein a robotic "next" would be silly (e.g. she has had her butthole super-glued shut). But, the point is that she has to be willing to try whatever it is with you. If that is a non-starter, you are being manipulated. Period.

      [–]Glenbert 6 points7 points  (7 children)

      MyHere's the catch. There are things I've done with other women that I have no interest in doing with my gf. E.g. I don't want to fuck her ass. I've done it before and I don't care about it. I'm sure she's taken it up the ass at some point but I don't care to pursue it.

      I know a lot of guys have that same thing where they just don't care to do those things worth a serious gf.

      But what OP is talking about is different than that. Don't conflate the two.

      [–]needless_pickup_line 10 points11 points  (6 children)

      I think the big difference is that it's "on the table".

      [–]Glenbert 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      I would hope that my GF would dump me if I tried to put pegging on the table.

      [–]gg_s 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Hey, if pegging is your thing, she better be down like a good girl.

      [–]Glenbert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "Honey, I'm going to use my masculine energy to compel you to completely subvert my masculine energy tonight. Mmmkay? Wait! Where are you going? Honey?"

      [–]ThePantsThief 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Yeah. If you decide one day you do want to fuck her in the ass, why would she say no if she really wants to please you?

      [–]Glenbert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It can also be a DLV if she thinks someone else put you up to our... other than a mistress.

      [–]BlackHeart89 4 points5 points  (7 children)

      My only exception to this is 3somes. And a I say this simply because if a chick is really trying to keep you, she won't want to share you from fear of losing you.

      In a similar situation, I'm willing to smash a chick with a friend or two of mine. Regardless of how sexy she was. But NEVER would I do this with a chick I'm dating. If she even asked me to do this, I would next her.

      With that being said, I would also never LTR a chick who had a FFM threesome and I had never had one. Either she needs to give me one or I'm going to go get one myself. Point blank. Having a FFM threesome is one of the top things on my bucket list.

      BUT, if she had threesomes with her previous LTR(s), then she will need to have them with me as well. Same position, same benefits. This is not negotiable.

      [–]GC0W30 0 points1 point  (6 children)

      With that being said, I would also never LTR a chick who had a FFM threesome and I had never had one. Either she needs to give me one or I'm going to go get one myself. Point blank. Having a FFM threesome is one of the top things on my bucket list.

      I'm going to throw out there, for the record, that pulling those off is hard to impossible for some couples in some places. I wouldn't hate on a chick for not being able to manage it if I was in a rural area and she had previously been in NYC or LA when she pulled it off, or if she had been able to manage it when she was 18 with a hot 22-year-old but now... not so hot...

      [–]speed3_freak 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      I fell into one in college with a pair of roommates, and honestly I'd say it's vastly over rated. I'm glad I had the experience, but I prefer to be with one at a time that way all of the attention is focused on me.

      [–]GC0W30 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Glad it's not just me.

      I have a bi girlfriend, and whenever threesomes come conversationally up I just remark that they are THE most over-rated sexual situation. She agrees.

      I love the hell out of a quad with, let's say, another married couple, but odds on, if you're in a threesome then at some point you're getting ignored, and at that point you're basically just watching a porno with smell. It's not ACTUALLY fun to watch two chicks eat each other out for 45 minutes, and if you try to force your way back in you can wind up pissing everyone off.

      Honestly, it'd be better just PAYING two chicks if you insist on having the MFF experience... that way YOU are the center of the game.

      [–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I agree. I'm not dissing her for that. It would actually be MY problem. Knowing my girl has had a threesome with some other guy would not only make me jealous, but it would be a constant reminder of the fact that I haven't had one. Nothing against her.

      [–]fnordsnord 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      I'm a practicing polyamorist with a bisexual wife and a bi-curious girlfriend. I've pulled of three FFM threesomes in ten years. It's HARD to set them up.

      Think about the challenges you have in getting ONE girl to feel sexy. Now try doing it to two at the same time.

      [–]disorderly 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Agreed. I managed one but it was hella difficult. The girls really have to be into each other as well.

      [–]ForbiddenFruit420 9 points10 points  (16 children)

      What if she doesn't want to do it with you because she didn't enjoy it with her ex?

      [–]redpilltom[S] 41 points42 points  (1 child)

      That's something that's a bit more delicate and requires a bit more context. "I tried anal with my ex but stopped him because I didn't like it" is different than "I used to do it all the time with my ex, but didn't really like it". The context in the first was "I didn't like how it felt so I stopped" and the second was "I didn't really care for it, but he loved it so I did it for him". Overall it doesn't carry the same weight as the "I'm not that kind of girl anymore" BS that the post is more about, but it is a huge red flag and you should keep your eye out for more signs you're getting strung along.

      And, of course, women lie up and down about their sexual history. If a woman tells you she only tried something once briefly but hated it, it's pretty likely that she did it multiple times and loved it in the context of an alpha guy who gave her more tingles than you.

      [–]xmarcs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Exactly. This is what I find hilarious. How the fuck can you actually know what she's done and what she likes and doesn't like. It's simple. If you like the girl and you like the time, stop worrying about who's scaled the mountain before you and how close they came to the summit. Life's a lot easier if you stop trying to pass another man's flag and start worrying solely about how your own journey. You'll never truly know anyway so just worry about yourself and if you can't find what you want, venture onward until you find your Everest.

      [–]My87thAccount 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Was it something she tried once and didn't like or something she didn't like, but would do for her ex occasionally anyways?

      If it's the latter, it applies to this post.

      [–]meehan666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Do you want that sex act? If yes, then drop her. No point in keeping a woman around who you can't be sexually satisfied with.

      If no, keep her for a bit, but grow indirectly colder towards her. She'll think her refusal is an issue and try to over compensate, hopefully with behavior and acts you actually enjoy.

      [–]pachan 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      If I took out my ex to expensive restaurants to make her happy even though I didn't like it you would expect me to do things I don't like to make you happy as well.

      [–]ForbiddenFruit420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Not personally, no. If going to fancy restaurants was important to me, i wouldn't go out with a guy who would take me to one even though he doesn't like it. I would find a guy who genuinely going to fancy restaurants.

      [–]RedHeimdall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      There are two categories for this kind of thing: stuff I can't control/influence and stuff I can. If she tried to deepthroat before but has a bad gag reflex and doesn't like doing it, there ain't much I can do about her gag reflex.

      But if she tried anal in the past and it hurt, or she tried a threesome in the past and it was awkward, those are not sufficient excuses because I can control/influence those things next time around. It hurt because the dude didn't do it right, it was awkward because the dude didn't manage it right.

      [–]1DavidTeGnome 2 points3 points  (4 children)

      This is the workaround I hear from women chiming in on stories when men write about this subject online. The ones where they find out their significant other is pursuing a dual sexual morality with them. If a woman has an incentive to lie, she will. I would consider "she doesn't want to do it with you because she didn't enjoy it with her ex" to be one of those, namely a lie.

      [–]ForbiddenFruit420 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      So, you don't think it's possible that she may have tried something with an ex that she didn't like? You're 100% certain that if she tried it, she liked it but she's holding out on a behavior she enjoyed because she doesn't want it with you? I agree with the other guy who said, it doesn't matter if she did it or not, or if she liked it or not. It matters that if you want something and she's not interested in doing it, you find someone who is. I wouldn't deprive myself of something I enjoyed just to prove a point. I also wouldn't want someone to do something they wouldn't enjoy for me, when I can easily find someone who would.

      [–]1DavidTeGnome 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      I totally agree, go find a girl who will. No argument there. I'm just saying that women do pursue a dual sexual morality AF/BB and have a propensity to lie, or self delude with regards to it. I did it with him, but not with you often falls under this rubric.

      [–]SneakyTouchy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      What if she doesn't want to do it with you because she didn't enjoy it with her ex?

      What if my other plate enjoys it?

      [–]ForbiddenFruit420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Then you would probably be happier with the one who enjoys it.

      [–]1KyfhoMyoba 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      What if she doesn't want to do it with you because she didn't enjoy it with her ex?

      She still did it. She made the choice that it was better to do THIS act with THIS man than to not do it. Only thing different is the man, not the act.

      [–]ForbiddenFruit420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Do you think that the man makes the experience for her? I think anything can be a totally different experience with a different person. If she's not willing to do something for you that she did with another man, the problem may not be her. It may be that you just didn't make her feel comfortable enough to do it with you. Of course, her past experience will weigh on her judgement about whether she enjoyed it last time or not. But, it shouldn't weigh on her being willing to try something with you now. People are so easy to manipulate. Everything we do is going to cause a reaction. So, why not do things that will cause her to react in the way you'd like rather than worry about why she did this with someone else before. Maybe you need to figure out what HE did differently that made her willing, instead of blaming her, saying she's a slut, degrading her or having any kind of a negative reaction. It's the same both ways. Like the other guys said, if my man took his ex out to fancy dinners but he wouldn't take me.... he isn't the problem. The problem is that I don't know what they did to make him want to do that, but I need to do it too, if I want that. Calling him a cheapskate loser or giving an ultimatum isn't going to make him want to take me out to a fancy dinner.

      [–]ppezaris 2 points3 points  (5 children)

      Read an article in Cosmo once (don't ask, it was a long time ago and I was bored with nothing to read) that claimed to have surveyed thousands of men and women, and found that on average men are more promiscuous.

      The average woman has had 3 sexual partners of the opposite sex, it claimed, while the average man had had 5.

      The problem? If you know basic statistics, you know that this is impossible. The average for each must be the exact same number, by definition.

      [–]loghead11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      They likely didn't include the age brackets. Cosmo isn't known for doing good fact checking, and from what I understand they farm out a lot of articles to freelance writers who basically make a living writing magazine articles.

      The wikipedia statistics say that by age 19 70% of both men and women claim to have lost their virginity and that the average age of virginity loss is 17.0 for men and 17.3 for women.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_sexuality_in_the_United_States

      [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      Well no: a large number of women can all have sex with a small number of men, leading to a skew you'd assume doesn't happen. In fact I expect this skew that you'll just as easily find men with no more than 5 partners in their entire life yet men with 50 in the minority, and yet a majority of women with partner count over 10 and most of them having slept with the same men who have partner count 50 to 100 to who the fuck knows.

      [–]ppezaris 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      Sorry, but that's not the way the math works. The average is defined by the total number of unique partners divided by the number of people in that gender.

      Let's use an example of a sample size of 10 men and 10 women, and a rather extreme case where 9 of the women are virgins, and the final woman slept with each of the men.

      In this case the average number of women that each man has slept with is pretty simple. Each man has slept with exactly one woman, so the average is clearly 1.

      The average for the women is 1 too! The one promiscuous woman who slept with all the men balances out the virgins, when you look at average.

      No matter how you distribute promiscuity and virginity, the average will always be the same.

      One fact that might convince you is this: each time a man and a woman sleep together for the first time, there is one "new partner" for them men, and one "new partner" for the women. So the score always stays even.

      [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Sorry that is how average works: you can skew the numbers very far to one side yet still get the same average.

      Let's use samples in the size of millions and more and you can see this turn out very easily. 10 is too small and you know it. I'll dismiss that number immediately because it's a rigged choice.

      [–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Within the first three fuck sessions, I will try for the hat trick. To be honest my girth makes anal uncomfortable at best with most, impossible with the small girls, but she needs to be willing to try it. I will have her doing kinky shit, and enjoying it. If shes had threesomes before, I call some friends and set up another one. Most of them have their crazy, wild, kinky, group and other sex with me. Two refusals for sex and she is out, unless she has good reason like obgyn appointments, illness, etc. But it has to be real, lies get her punted faster than anything.

      [–]bbidabbong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I generally refuse to have anything with woman if she is not drolling about me. Settling down with anybody who dont have wet pussy in your presence is waste of resources.

      You have to recognize is she with you because there is nobody better around or because she wants to fuck you.

      Howcto know..well when she wants you, there is no stupid excuses. She have time to see you. Messages responds are quick. The best, in your presence she is drolling, uncontrollably smiling, and acting like 5yo girl. This is how it needs to be and if it is different cut it. This goes for majority

      [–]TheGillos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      For the women who may be getting furious reading this

      WOMEN?!? Get out of our clubhouse!

      [–]GhostOfAladdin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Or...

      Only be with a woman that wont do things with you that she did with her ex boyfriend unless you are a Blue Piller and enjoy feeling like crap aka, a nice Pedestal rider.

      [–]_valtiel_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      What if she did anal or golden showers but you're not into any of that?

      [–]DrBillC0sby 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      There's quite a bit of difference between her offering to do something and you not being into it, and her not willing to do something with you that you want to do, that she HAS already done before with previous partners.

      [–]Cronyx 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      What if she did it with someone else just to try it, and didn't like it? That hardly seems fair to force the issue again.

      [–]korewarp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I don't think "things that I tried for the first time and then never again" is what we're talking about here.

      From my understanding, we're talking about "My ex did me up the butt every sunday, but I don't want to do that with you, current bf, sorry.".

      [–]loghead11 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      An interest aside to this topic is the idea that she or someone else told you that she performed certain sexual acts.

      If a girl does something once and finds it painful is that a legitimate reason to have done with her ? I would postulate that if it was a one time occurrence and deeply unpleasant, then there is not a tremendous obligation for her to be willing to go in for round two. There were a lot of dumb things I tried when I was younger.

      A lot of this comes down to a common game couples play in relationships. The girl, early in the relationship, brags about performing certain acts such as threesomes, anal, or blowjobs. She effectively 'advertises' this as part of the deal she offers. However, when compelled to repeat such acts she balks and suggests that she is she will no longer perform acts that were promised.

      In this case I generally feel that we are dealing with clear dishonesty.

      [–]Cronyx 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      It's also true that some people's taste change. A guy I used to work with was an EMT (about 15 years ago), and on one particular call to a residence, a guy vomited when he was trying to resuscitate him. Well the guy had been eating pizza and beer at the time. To make a long story short, the friend can't stand the smell of pizza or beer anymore without gagging but used to love both.

      Someone could have done something a lot in the past and enjoyed it, but something ruined it for them, and they just cant anymore. Do you want someone to do something for you that they hate?

      [–]loghead11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I think case by case is always important, but let's be very clear that the majority of cases described here involve a girl bragging about doing something with one guy, then refusing to perform said activity given a new partner. Basically, it is false advertising.

      [–]nellzzzzs 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      :O What if that someone said they only did something because the relationship was going downhill to spice shit up and they never liked it anyway. And absolutely refuses to do it now even once?
      I feel sometimes like Im missing out on something that I may find enjoyable... but I respect them to just.... imagine it in my head anyway.

      [–]sway_usa 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      It means she was desperate to not lose that person. She should feel the same about you. It's called "dread game", and you should be running it. Look it up.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]sway_usa 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        So you are concerned that the guy in your life won't do something he previously did with someone else?

        [–]nellzzzzs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes. I wonder what could have happened to not want to do it. Cant have a conversation as its awkward I guess. Sometimes I even wonder if maybe in the early stages, maybe thought id be impressed to say it was done.... and it wasnt.

        [–]1oldredder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        We each as men have our own preferences. I wouldn't toss a girl just because she won't do a girl+her+me 3-way. I will toss her if she won't give a blowjob. I don't do anal: I don't care if she ever did. In fact I've had girls who really, really wanted me to do it and I refuse. Shit's dirty and I'm not interested.

        [–][deleted]  (6 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]Deaddpooll 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          Its not insecurity, its disgust

          [–]captainsmacks 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          I can see where you are coming from. But what if she has had a lot of sexual partners and you have had the same amount? Is that ok considering youd be "even?"

          [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          depends... if she had half the partners I did, or 1/4, but cheated on every single one of them, should I ignore that for being a lower number than me?

          [–]korewarp 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          Someone didn't read the numerous posts about "Women that have a higher number of sexual partners before marriage/first proper relationship, has a much much higher chance of cheating or divorcing".

          [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          and someone else forgot to factor in that finances, arguments over money/children and the rate at which a woman cheats, much less acquires new sex partners is very important and overlooked completely by those "numerous posts".

          It's pretty blue-pill, in fact, to ignore the rate, ignore the number of times it was cheating, and go straight to the total.

          That's like looking at all my spending without dividing it up between rent, transportation, food & nonsense like cigarettes & alcohol, essential vs nonessential, adjustable vs nonadjustable, high-risk vs low-risk and of course... the RATE.

          The rate at which I spend is very important compared to the rate at which I get income.

          Similarly the rate at which a woman cheats, the rate at which a woman acquires new sex partners, is pretty concerning to me unless the cheating is zero and the rate of new partners is less than 2 per year. I don't care if she's had 5 or had 25, if her rate is more than 2 per year I'm looking with a high degree of skeptical leaning on soft-next*.

          [–]1Dev_on -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          I would add a caveat. Make sure you give it a go as a man to get what you want first. Lots of people don't like stuff, but a strong man taking it kind of pulls on her rubber arm.