This is a wall of text. I've been developing this theory for a few months and took the time to pare it down to its most essential elements, but it still a lengthy post. I hope it's worth the read.
In 2009, I began to notice a shift in the Game. I started to notice when I was running game in bars and clubs that all the highest-quality girls seemed to arrive with their closest clique of friends. Mixed sets were nothing new to my approaches, but this was different. A girl is far less approachable and willing to submit to your advances when she's with her preferred social circle. I also started to notice a big drop in the number of two-sets (my preferred approach). High-quality girls who come to a bar with just one of their friends were in increasingly short supply, and those that did come with just one of their friends were usually garbage or sluts no matter how good they looked on the outside.
I came to the conclusion that Night Game was dead. My theory is that its death was a product of the Great Recession. With high unemployment, falling wages, and a potential layoff just around the corner, everyone tightened their wallets. Girls don't place a high priority on going to a bar or club to meet a man. They know they can meet men anywhere. So when they did want to go to a bar or club it was usually for a special event--a birthday party, an engagement, or some other big "life event." And who do you celebrate big "life events" with? That's right, your closest group of friends.
The Great Recession lasted at least five years (and is still ongoing, depending on who you ask). This habit of only going out at night for special occasions has become ingrained in our culture, except for the club rats and bar skanks that would be drawn to those places anyway, economy notwithstanding.
TODAY, THERE'S TROUBLE AFOOT
I have noticed the same thing happening in another avenue of Game, but I wanted to be absolutely certain and had properly broken down the theory before I put pen to paper. A couple things pointed me in this direction.
I only run Day Game, unless I'm out with friends at night and want a SNL. In that case, I run a very direct version of Night Game: "I'm going back to my house to smoke, are you coming with me or not? You're not? Cool, nice to meet you. No, I don't want your phone number. Have fun and be safe."
My Day Game is good, but not great. I only approach when I get clear buying signals (flirty eye contact) and I've got the system down to where I feel I can build a strong enough rapport to get a solid phone number after about 10 minutes of face time.
Lately, though, I've noticed a trend happening with the phone numbers I'm pulling. I'll text, she'll timely respond for the first three or four messages, and then right around the time that I've reestablished rapport and am about to ask for the date, she ghosts.
I didn't think much of it until I noticed the same thing happening with the plates I've been spinning from within my own social circle. This was a slap to the face. Girls in your social circle are usually the most receptive. There's trouble afoot.
I swallowed my pride and showed some of the text-message strings to some of my friends who are Naturals and some of my wingwomen. They scratched their heads, too. "I don't see that you did anything wrong." "Maybe she got distracted and moved on to something else?" "That's weird. I would have done the same thing. I don't know why she ghosted you." So my Game was tight. What else could it be?
Flash forward a couple weeks. My firm is asking me to help out one week per month at our satellite office in the state. I fired up Tinder and OKC to get some pre-selection established in this new city because it is a gold mine for young, attractive women (college town with a SEC school). I'd get matches on Tinder, girls would PM me on OKC, and I'd get responses to some of my PMs on OKC. I'd start text conversations and, again, they'd timely respond for a little while and then suddenly ghost. My Natural friends and my wingwomen confirmed, again, that nothing was wrong with the texts themselves.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH KANSAS?
Allow me to make a bold statement: Gaming a girl through an electronic medium is dead. Texting, instant messaging, Tindering, OKC-ing, POF-ing, Facebooking, Snapchatting, Twittering, Instagramming, group messaging, or using any other form of digital communication to move the seduction forward is dead.
I want you to try something: Go to Google and search, "How to text a girl." I just did. There were 426,000,000 results, including links to websites with shitty advice, websites with good advice, websites with great advice, websites that preach PUA and RedPill principles, and a countless number of YouTube videos from claimed lotharios and women alike.
If you think that any of the "games" or "tricks" or "methods" you use to seduce a woman through text message are unique, individual, or will somehow set you apart from the pack you are wrong.
I guarantee you a girl has received some variation of whatever opener you're going to try when you pick up your phone to text message some broad whose number you just closed. I guarantee you she's been asked out over text a thousand times. I guarantee you if she let you look at her text message inbox, you'd see the following:
Greg hey cutie! just had the most amazing cup of coffee at starbucks! have a great day!
Tony hey gorgeous my friends are going to be at buffalo phil's on sat to watch the game you should come out
(205) 555-1818 hey its eric from last night i really enjoyed meeting you how's your day?
Bret <3 maybe
Steve hey! haven't heard from you in a while hope you're doing well
Gay best friend you rocked that halter top last night sweetie. drinks soon :*
Greg guess what i just saw outside my window? a plane! ah, the glory of working on the 20th floor. have a great day!
If that same girl let you see her OKC inbox, you'd see the same thing. If that girl opened her Tinder for you, you'd see endless streams of the same kinds of text messages from the same kinds of guys all trying the same tired tactics preached on the websites by my simple Google search above.
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
When text messaging became mainstream in 2001, everybody was limited to 100 texts per month. If you went over that, you were charged $0.15 per text message.
How did people use text messaging back in those days? Well, kiddos, come sit by grandpa and I'll tell you. It was used to text what your voicemail message was going to say when you called someone and they didn't pick up. For example, "hey we're meeting at willy's instead of pete's. and it's at 8 instead of 9. see you there." It was not used to start a conversation, get to know someone better, show that you were cocky-funny, demonstrate higher value, or for any other seductive technique that you think it would.
Text messaging was purely for logistical purposes and nothing more. True, the same principles get espoused here on this sub but I see far too many preachers of TRP using text message when they're spinning a plate or with their LTRs. They're using text messaging as a substitute for real conversation. I did, too.
If you wanted to move the seduction forward in 2001, however, you called her or you spoke with her in person. The beta males were using AIM to advance their seductions. But I was setting myself apart by having the stones to call and follow up with a logistical text if she didn't respond.
After my longest relationship with the girl who came the closest to marrying me, I got back in the Game in 2009. I noticed text messaging had become so mainstream by then that calling a girl when you got her phone number smacked of try-hard. It was too forward. She'd think, "Whoa. Why is this guy calling me? We're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet. We hardly know each other." That's when I started running Google searches for effective texting techniques and found some of the better websites that I still visit today (CH being chief among them). The beta males were using text messaging as a substitute for AIM. But I was setting myself apart by having the stones to use short, three-word responses to demonstrate value and provide mystery.
Now here we are in 2014 and a girl has no shortage of male attention in the electronic sphere. Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, OKC, Instagram, even fucking Pinterest are a literal Sears catalog of guys for her to choose from.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" BOOM there are literally 100 guys to choose from on Tinder. Swipe left, get a text. Swipe left, get a text. Swipe left, get a text. Fuck, even Yovanna Ventura got into a prolonged sexual relationship with Justin Bieber and had all the paparazzi attention she could ever want because she posted pictures of her ass on Instagram. That's it. She didn't seek him out at a show, she didn't run up to him and ask for his autograph on the street, she didn't even try to get her people to call his people. She just did this: Post an ass pic. Wait for the PMs to flood in. Oh, look, there's one from Justin Bieber.
DANCE, MONKEY, DANCE
Ask yourself: In today's digital world, how much effort does it really take to text a girl? None. It's two seconds' worth of time and 140 characters. And how much effort does it really take for a girl to respond to your text messages? None. It's two seconds' worth of her time and 140 characters and even then it's not worth the time and effort because there are literally 50 other dicks being thrown in her face, day in and day out, through an electronic medium.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?
Or as I like to put it: Dance, monkey, dance.
Every time you text a girl, every time you try to seduce her through an electronic medium, you are reduced to a "ping" and you're putting yourself in her frame.
Here's what she's thinking in her limbic system: Eric just told me he went to lunch at a fancy restaurant. Thank you, next! And what do you have for me today, Mr. Bankruptedcasino? Oh, a pun about the weather. I've only seen that one three times today. Have a token "lol [insert witty comment here]" and I'll shuffle you in with the rest of the deck. Look, here comes Phil to ask me how my day was. He's a nice guy and I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I'll write, "it's good! how was yours?" and ignore his response because he'll circle back again in a week. Oh, look, here comes Mr. Bankruptedcasino again and, wow, he's asking me out through text message. Hmm, I dunno. There are so many suitors coming in to my inbox (ping! there's another one!) and they all dance for me so well, I don't know who the fairest of them all is yet. I'll tell bankruptedcasino that my sister is in town and shelve him for later. A girl's gotta keep her options open, ya'know. Ping! There's Mike. We've fucked a couple times before. Yeah, he's an asshole, but the devil you know beats the devil you don't!
I want you to picture this in your mind the next time you unlock your phone to communicate to a girl through an electronic medium:
You are no different. You are just a number. An audition. And there are 5,000 people waiting in the lobby behind you.
Don't text message a girl anymore. Communicate early and often that the only ways she can get a hold of you is to (a) answer the phone when you call, (b) call you and hope you're not busy so you will pick up, or (c) see you in person.
If you're spinning a plate or in a LTR, transition to texting one-word responses or confirmations of logistics ONLY. For example, a plate texts me, "hey! how's your day?" I'll wait a few hours and then respond with, "slammed work is crazy - call you later." I'll call when I have time. I'm a man in demand. I don't have the time to ping! ping! ping! all day long. I have shit to do. Seduction can wait until it's on my timetable, not hers. Besides, I'll let the orbiters ping! her all day long. That's what they're there for.
If it's a new prospect, I don't text. Period. And I ignore her texts if she texts first. Instead, I pick up the phone and call her. They almost never pick up. So, I'll leave a standard voice mail including the following elements:
(1) Introduce myself and where we met,
(2) tell her I wanted to talk more but had to hastily leave because I had other plans,
(3) give her a token compliment about her style if she's someone I'm only marginally interested in or a heavier compliment about her personality if I had the chance to deep dive and connect with her emotionally, and
(4) tell her I'm going to be at X place at Y time and she should meet me there so we can get to know each other better.
This works very, very well. If she's interested, she'll call me back. I don't pick up. She can leave a message or text message to confirm that she's going to be there. If she replies with a text message, I respond with, "cool see you then." And then I ghost her until the date.
Try it. If she calls you back and you decide to pick up, or when you see her in person, expect to hear some variation of, "Guys never call girls anymore. I was really impressed that you had the confidence to ask me out over the phone instead of through text like every other guy I meet these days."
WHY THIS WORKS
The fundamental premise of dating is that eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap (thanks, CH). Women are the valued sex. Like it or not, women do the picking. They say who comes, stays, lays, and prays. It's been like this for eons. It's not changing.
The only way you can get continued success with women, the only way you can increase the ratio of approaches that turn in to dates, is to separate yourself from the pack. Everyone is using text/electronic media to seduce women these days. But, more importantly, every lesser man is using text to seduce women these days. Thus, my theory is that, in this day and age, you are subconsciously signaling lesser value to a woman if you use an electronic medium to seduce her. Who has the time to text a girl all day every day? A lesser man. Who lacks the courage to pick up the phone and call a girl for a date and, instead, resorts to text? A lesser man. Who tries to force rapport with a prospect, plate, or girlfriend through witty banter in a digital medium? A lesser man.
Are you necessarily a lesser man because you do these things? Of course not! But you are guilty by association: if every lesser man uses digital communication to move the seduction forward, you can't be upset that a girl is lumping you among the lesser men.
Who's the dancing monkey in your courtship? Is it you or is it her? Are you the dancing monkey pinging her with a text message every couple of days sniffing around for an hour of her time? Or is she the dancing monkey because you're a man who knows what he wants, you called, you left a message, and waited for her to call back? Oops, you're too busy now because she didn't pick up the phone when you called. Gotta set that precedent, dude.
Now she'll have to leave a message confirming the date or text you to tell you what she was going to say in the voicemail. But now you're not responding. Are you in or are you out? She doesn't know. She's going to fire up the phone and start texting her friend Shelly and her gay best friend and ask wtf is going on. Is there a date or not? All the while, ping! There's Eric again. Ping! There's Greg again. Ping! There's that random guy she met at the club. Ping! Another match on Tinder. Ping! Another PM on OKC. Ugh, will all these dicks stop being thrown in my face for one minute so I can find out whether or not I have a date with this guy who is the only real man of the lot, the only real man who had the stones to pick up the phone and call me to ask me out?!
I'll send him another message to confirm.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, Bret is the fairest of them all.
Good luck, and happy hunting.