all 117 comments

[–]_the_shape_ 147 points148 points  (20 children)

A brutally harsh red pill truth is that WOMEN spin plates themselves, and with guys approaching them en masse, going out and gathering new plates is a breeze. Always assume that there's AT LEAST one other guy in the mix with whichever which girl you're talking to. Go out and do likewise.

[–]krazykoo 74 points75 points  (5 children)

Couldn't agree more. Women spinning plates is something not often mentioned around here I find, but it's true.

[–]rebuildingMyself 55 points56 points  (3 children)

"Guys are just cooler to hang out with. Girls are such bitches!"

[–]systemshock869 28 points29 points  (1 child)

[–]ValarMorghulis90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, thank you. Another pic/gif/meme to add to my gallery.

[–]FrameWalker 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Not only are they spinning plates, they will deny it. Either they don't believe it, or they're afraid to tell you the truth. It's the same way we'd be afraid to be honest about being needy, they'd lie about being slutty.

Part of spinning plates is being spun as a plate. Stomach it. If your game is strong you can borrow her longer, but she's not yours forever.

[–]worhT-Away 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yes. I recently finished a two year relationship. We were on and off afterwards.

She went out with guys who she didn't go out with before just because "she had a boyfriend", and the first guy she went out with, was a week after our break up.

She was my best friend since 8 years ago. It hurts but I know it was the right decision.

[–]MoneyStatusLooks 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Completely true, but they often do it in a different way. Guys when they spin obviously want sexual relations with all of them.

Women on the other hand keep them as orbiters and backups. I once dumped a girl, thought she would be heartbroken, was telling me I was the love of her life and couldn't deal with life without me, then after the breakup, she is fine and has orbiters circling her within days/weeks, almost as if I didn't exist. AWALT.

[–]1independentmale 3 points4 points  (1 child)

after the breakup, she is fine

As you, too, should be.

When a girl breaks up with me, my go-to response is: "Okay." Then I get on with my life. Show that you don't give a fuck and you have options, even if you're dying inside.

The last time this happened it was less than two hours before she was back, crying and explaining how she didn't really want to break up, she acted too harshly and can we please stay together?

[–]onenifty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If in doubt, be like Jerry:

[–]blacwidonsfw 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes when men learn to spin, it helps them experience the abundance woman have by default.

[–]PlanB_pedofile 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Chatting with the ex wife one night listening to all her red pill truths from her okcupid experience. She spun plates. She would go out with a guy for lunch then meet up with another date at a bar that night. If she didn't go home with him she could call up one of her previous dates and hang out at his place.

Free meals, free drinks, free movies, instant sex. And she's at a 6 with 2 kids and enough baggage to fill a house.

And in the end she CCd into finding her beta bucks.

[–]Red_Pill_Observer 8 points9 points  (7 children)

That's a very insightful way of putting it. For clarification though, are the beta orbiters her plates, or are you referring to something she's doing with more high SMV males?

[–]King_of_Demons 27 points28 points  (4 children)

It's hard to classify people as beta orbiters or high chief alphas like you're thinking. We're talking about people. I mean this in that a "beta orbiter" could turn into "high chieftain alpha" in a years time.

People are very, very fluid. It sound like you're really trying to soak it all in but you are not thinking about the application.

Think about what we say when a man spins plates. He has a few girls who desire relationships/sex/him. Now reverse that with a woman, it's the same thing.

[–]_the_shape_ 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Good point about people being fluid. Sometimes you'll find that even "alphas" can, to their complete horror, degenerate into full blown betas within the confines of a LTR, starting off strong, heavily desired, calling the shots, and finishing supplicating, anxious, shaken up, broken shells of themselves. LTR game is another animal of its own, much trickier than simply pulling girls.

[–]cheetah_swirley 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i think that guys who naturally straddle the line between alpha and beta understand red pill truth better than guys that are either natural alphas or hopeless betas, because depending on their day to day ups and down, depressions, successes they have seen both sides in their life.

and once youve had both experiences you see that womens behaviour towards you has nothing to do with your niceness at all and all to do with your success, charisma and charm

[–]ilphae 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Seen this happen to many bros. Been a victim myself. The hardest one was when I started learning game and had plates going for the first time in my life. Got in to a LTR and somehow thought my work was done. Like I had won the game. Foolish. I think it's important to remember that you built yourself up the first time, if you somehow got mind-fucked, it is possible to build yourself a second or third time. Better to not get caught slippin' in the first place though.

[–]2Kill_Your_Ego 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes scary to think about as a red pill and game aware man. Giving up the next power. I guess you have to refine your game if your are aware.

[–]_the_shape_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Could be either or, could be a combination of both, depends on her very own SMV. If she's, let's say, a 9 in the eyes of most guys, she can certainly fill up her 'stable' with high SMV guys simply because she possesses the wherewithal to do so. A girl who's a 7 may get a SMV in the mix, but she probably has a few "high betas" in there as well - that is, the dudes she'll likely settle with if she begins to run out of gas or simply grow frustrated waiting out for the one or ones she'd label "the prize". Remember too that women tend to date up, so the higher up she is in rank, the easier it is to reach a high SMV guy.

[–]N0TH4PPY 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Once in a while some Beta orbiters get some crumbs too (get laid), I know, I was one for a while, and I thought I was a player. FML.

[–]1redpillbanana 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Until you fuck more girls and you realize that the same patterns start to appear, you see more similarities between the girls, you see that shit you thought was special and unique about them really isn't. You stop getting doe-eyed and you start being more practical. You see what you really want, what is and what is not worth your time.

This is an important point - having experience with many women is a sure road towards taking them off the pedestal as well as helping you raise your standards. Don't be the oneitis guy who proposes to the first girl who gives him any attention.

Once you're the type of man who is ABLE to spin plates and next them when they start upping the shit tests beyond a tolerable point, then you're really able to hold frame. You can't hold frame with a girl unless you KNOW that you could replace her. You have to internalize this idea: You can replace her. Get over your oneitis again and again and again.

Another good point. It's hard to have abundance mentality without actual abundance. Once you have the mentality, it'll carry you through any dry spells.

[–]SpontaneousLightBulb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I do have to agree that most of this is how you find partners, and avoid letting yourself get down when you have a rejection or don't find women for prolonged periods of time. I do think though that a lot of people adopt these habits as part of their general ethos, which can become problematic at the point that they do choose a partner for a LTR.

Holding frame is a good example, where sometimes it pays to be submissive in certain situations. If you're excellent at maintaining your frame, always appearing in the right, the lead, unattached, your LTR partner may end up feeling unimportant in your life. I think once you transition away from spinning plates and into relationships, guys need to learn how to choose their battles accordingly. You no longer need to strategize the way you used to, not in an LTR.

Either way, I'm grateful I spent time developing this mindset, and these strategies earlier in life. It helped me achieve an LTR with a really good catch, and also provides value continuously in my professional life, when networking, and learning how to mold stakeholders into your frame. When those stakeholders are of the opposite sex too, just makes it a tad easier too from all the experience you've developed, by leveraging your ability to maintain your cool.

[–]the99percent1 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Well said.. Learning when to fold, and subsequently handling the fucked up emotions and ego damage is something that gets better with experience.

[–]MagnanimousGenius 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Remember when you were 13 and just seeing boobs seemed like the most amazing thing in the world? Having little varied sexual experience increases the power that women have over you. It decreases your ability to hold frame because you wonder in your mind if you can replace them.

Until you fuck more girls and you realize that the same patterns start to appear, you see more similarities between the girls, you see that shit you thought was special and unique about them really isn't. You stop getting doe-eyed and you start being more practical. You see what you really want

This is an excellent summation.

With experience you'll come to see that all women are more or less the same. You're able to negotiate situations with them to the point that it always feels as if you're following patterns with only the slightest of variation. It becomes simple. Stop doubting yourself. Work on entering the top 10%, and keep spinning those plates. It becomes easy

[–]OilyB 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Like Patrice O'Neal explains, to boot, the balance is right when she loves you, and you 'like' her. You start loving her without being damn sure she can handle your love, she'll start renegotiating EVERYTHING - to her advantage, until she's tired of your 'flexibility' and sweetness.

[–]4mrkite 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is true.

Comprehending the ideas intellectually is not enough, you have to internalize them and bring their force to bear, so much so, that they stop being concepts you refer to like a cheat sheet in your life.

They have to become you and you them.

You can like the idea of spinning plates and completely agree with it, but until you've done it, dealt with all the tests and come out unscathed, you're still not ready.

You have to know what you can do in the moment, and nothing gives you that certainty like experience.

[–]hollowcrown51 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Really good advice. Being able to spin plates and know when you should not spin plates is essential.

Weird thing that happened was that I was getting most success when I was spinning. Early 2012 I was spinning about 3 girls at the same time - one would get overly jealous so I nexted her, the other met up with me but with a friend present, so she got nexted. Third girl was everything I wanted so we kept going and started LTR.

Throughout our LTR, for the first year at least, I kept spinning plates. Nothing that would be considered cheating at all, but having her aware that I could go out and get another girl easily kept her desperate for me at easy to please. We broke up once and I actually got with one of these plated ladies (who I had to next) but got back with the LTR girl, given she was the best option. She still wanted me.

However over the next year this stopped. I didn't plate anyone, I hardly ever spoke to girls outside my relationship who weren't also happily taken with other guys, or close friends. And gradually my LTR went off me and we broke up. I BPed myself with too much commitment and no danger factor.

A cautionary tale. Keep spinning.

[–]2RedPillSafe 6 points7 points  (2 children)

"Aggressive self improvement will raise your SMV but it won't deprogram your beta blue pill programming."

So true.

This needs to be stressed over and over again on Red Pill.

If you begin with a need for approval, then improve yourself, then go right back in seeking approval you have not absorbed the Red Pill.

You must "go your own way" in some form.

  • Can it be Monk Mode? Yes... just don't think that it's being holier than thou.

  • Can it be Spinning Plates? Yes, yes, yes.

  • Can it be LTR or Marriage? Yes, just be careful that you don't slip back into those old patterns of approval seeking... hold your frame.

Never forget that women only get the Tingles when they are LOWER in relation to their man. This is biology and cannot be changed. Seeking approval is an automatic fail.

Never, never, never, see your woman as "mommy".

[–]down_with_whomever[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

One of the reasons I felt it was important to say was the extent to which I think that monk mode gets thrown around and overblown as a crutch on here, simply because it seems easier and less scary than genuine game.

[–]2RedPillSafe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's a starting place. (Monk Mode)

One only expands their control to what they CAN control.

Red Pill teaches you how to "expand".

The first logical step after unplugging is to be master of just yourself.

Next you spin plates.

Finally you get to point where you know you can hold frame for life.

...each step is an "expansion" of control.

Go at your own pace.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)


    [–]BeautyQuark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It depends on if they see you as AF or BB. They may see you as BB or you are possibly too effective at gaining their attraction. The most important thing is to make it about her as much as possible. You want her to think she really does not want a commitment. Changing the subject is one approach. The important thing is too try different lines and see which works for your personality.

    Tell them you like the relationship the way it is and think making a commitment too soon will screw it up. Besides does she really want to be tied down to you?


    Tell them how you are still getting over a bad break-up, and you are trying to avoid making the same mistakes as you did in the past. Let her know she is valued and that you don't want to make a commitment that is not fully honest.

    [–]MattyAnon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Set it up plate style from the beginning. Make sure she knows you are highly likely seeing other women. It's a competition and a chase and an adventure for her. Spin it out a bit (don't see her more than 1x a week. 2x and you've really gotta spell out what it is and what it isn't).

    It sounds like you've set this up as a relationship... or you're doing too much relationshippy stuff with her so calling your bluff on that seems like a good deal.

    And get better at banging her GOOD. She's gotta be terrified of losing those 'gasms.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]thepillwastaken 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Agree with this. Great read. It is the most challenging part and why you see so many people post things like "I have Oneitis, does she really like me?, what do I say on Tinder? Why won't she respond to my texts?"..etc.

      When you have multiple women contacting you all day via phone wanting sex, you have a level of control that most guys will never have. It is not easy to spin plates. It takes sexual confidence.

      In reality, the secret to so much of this is sexual confidence. Once you have that, you are going to be closing more deals and being so much more successful with girls.

      [–]rpscrote 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I've recently nexted a girl with whom I have invested 8 months. I didn't bat an eye. She threw a shit test and doubled down. I didn't budge, so it goes. Am I sorry to lose her? Honestly, no. And it's not because I'm a cold bastard. It's because I now have the experience to know that she is entirely replaceable and it was only ever temporary to begin with.

      Another realization I had which stacks with this one: wishing she hadn't acted like a bitch or that she hadn't been a piece of shit is completely pointless. Immediately accept she did a shitty thing, and you have reacted. If you are a man with boundaries and moral strength, it is a programmatic if-then condition. She does shitty thing I cant tolerate -> she gets dropped. There is no room for discretion (e.g. beta-ing out like a bitch) so just accept that this is how it is and move on to the next thing whether it is replacement, or MGTOW, or otherwise...

      [–]Revo_Luzione 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      You're on the right track.

      On the other side--know when to dial back when you've spun a lot of plates over a long period of time (I've been spinning plates for the better part of 5 years), and have created a couple of alpha widows.

      The last one was pretty amazing--a very good woman fell deeply for me.

      I'm dialing back now, seeking quality over quantity. Still spinning plates, but looking for that fine bone china.

      [–]Kendanko 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      That's what gets me about guys that are so against the LTRs. I get it that it's not what everyone wants, but the Alpha shit applies just the same whether you're seeing a girl for the first time or the hundredth.

      Just gotta go get what you want and eventually when you get older you start using your experience and dialing in to what you're looking for in life. The house, wife kids, pets life isn't a prevaent one here and reasonably so. Most of us are extremely young, but you carry this shit with you for life and if you want to avoid couples therapy and the proverbial daily "shit test", you better be in tune with your RP if you're in a LTR.

      [–]down_with_whomever[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I'm around where you are nowadays too.

      [–]let_terror_reign 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      I've only been in LTRs. I've from a conservative Asian family in a very traditional family oriented lifestyle.
      I'm in an LTR now. But I kinda have to agree. I wish I were able to spin plates.
      My society would ostracize me if they found out. I still agree with the idea though.

      [–]MixolydianJoe 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Also in a LTR here for 11 years. Although I am happy with my spouse, I kind of regret not taking the advantage of spinning plates/RP prior to getting in serious relationships. Don't get me wrong: I would not change my spouse now but I would be better armed knowing all that stuff in my teenage years.

      [–]let_terror_reign 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      But don't you feel like your training or apprenticeship is incomplete because of this?

      [–]Kendanko 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This may not be popular but it's 100%/possible to learn this shit on your own as long as you're a confident dude with a spine. I only had a couple girlfriends before I started my 8 year relationship with my girlfriend. There have been countless fights where she's gotten jealous over a dumb issue and wanted me to chase her. You just can't. Don't let anyone push you away from your stance. You hold strong to your beliefs and you control your own life. That's something that I think we both believe in. She's a strong girl even if she's a bit insecure and that's the relationship I want. It doesn't change the fact that I'm willing to walk away from it if she goes fucking crazy or some shit.

      If you're not tied down to kids and a house and family then it's not that hard to red pill in a LTR. You can always pull the rip cord. I realize there's a whole side of it that's crucial when you're single in the dating game but there's no apprenticeship man. People take the letter of the law too seriously here. It's about being a strong guy and standing for your principals. Getting what you want and being willing to go get it. You don't drop that just because you're in a long term relationship. Do I wish I fooled around a little more when I was younger? Not entirely. It would've been fun but if you have a girl who's crazy in bed, loves sports, and is a stable human being.. It's hard to beat that man. Just gotta be true to yourself regardless and go get what you want. It's a way of life.

      [–][deleted]  (17 children)


        [–]Danedina 5 points6 points  (3 children)

        Honest question: does your dick work?

        [–]infapwetrust 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Medically yes, but had delayed ejaculation problems the first couple times

        [–]Danedina -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        delayed ejaculation

        that's most likely the grip of death. Lay off the porn for a while and see if it improves.

        [–]infapwetrust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Layed of porn in late 2012

        [–]2emptyform 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        If I had to guess, social skills and status are what you need to improve.

        [–]BurningBeard8 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        You must be all Swedish no Finnish as they say.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


          [–]infapwetrust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Thank you very much, I really appreciate your honesty and that you took the time writing this

          [–]iamirishpat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Is it a logistics problem or is it something in your head?

          If it's logistics, I don't know how to help you because I don't know your situation.

          If it's in your head, get the fuck out of your head. It's a dangerous place to be for extended periods of time. Sure, it's important to have time for self-reflection and deep thoughts about whatever you want, but time spent thinking is time not spent doing. Just keep that on mind. Do, don't think.

          [–]infapwetrust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I'm gonna extend something more about me. I live a very red pill lifestyle, study, lift, completely pornfree, but I didn't have sex for over a 1,5 years now. Electrical engineering makes it hard to work on your social skills, because the most people are socially sloppy. Also I never really experienced living with women, because my mother dieed when I was young, but was an ex cc rider and my father was the bb

          [–]nsummy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          You need to stop trying and stop caring. Hard to give advice over the internet to a stranger when you don't know the real problem, but if I had to guess its that you trying too hard, as strange at that sounds.

          Forget about the approaching & text game. Approaching with zero action afterward might as well be no approach at all. When you talk to these girls look at them as one of your guy friends. Take out all expectations while talking. Do this and its easy to invite a girl out to do something, if they decline, no big deal, my guy friends tell me no all of the time. With this mentality you will stop projecting the weakness of liking a girl. You will get a lot further if she thinks you barely care. The times I have been heartbroken & truly not cared have been when I have met the most girls. When I have started to fall in love, everything starts to fall apart.

          Another word of advice is to have some depth, be interesting. There are a lot of good looking guys out there but when you find there is nothing behind that face it leads to disappointment. While you work on your body, think of your mind. Read about current events, learn languages, improve your vocabulary.

          [–]infapwetrust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Posted something about this under my comment

          [–]TacoPacoPecoPaco -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          I am interested in hearing more about your story, seems relevant to me.

          [–]ilphae -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

          Just smash a few times and you will get over this. It might be worth hiring a professional woman if you are really having anxiety or something.

          [–]McRedMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Excellent post. Your writing is fluid and straight to the point. You could bold a couple words here and there for added effect but this is great writing otherwise. Clear focus, solid examples, and sound advice.

          Listen to OP. Outcome independence and abundance mentality are built only through experience. If you don't have any, you better get the hell off reddit and get some NOW.

          [–]thrown1520 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          To the OP, I think you should go back and read your submissions for the past several months from the perspective of an outside observer.

          [–]Kendanko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          He does have a relatively interesting history. There's some conflicting views in there but I think he's actually a pretty good poster compared to what the majorty of these posts have become.

          There's some decent self help for guys in there.

          [–]Mynotoar 0 points1 point  (10 children)

          Is there a good introductory post for this sub? I don't understand a lot of the terms you're using.

          [–]down_with_whomever[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children)

          There are! Quite a few of them.

          [–]Mynotoar 0 points1 point  (8 children)

          Could you help me out, please? This sub is labyrinthine, and I don't exactly know what I'm looking for.

          [–]down_with_whomever[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

          Check the "NEW HERE?" section on the sidebar.

          [–]let_terror_reign 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Sidebar. And search glossary in the sub. Plenty of food.

          [–]Maaahoney 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Could you share the story about the girl you nexted? what was the shit test?

          I think red pill guys need to spin plates as well. At first I felt really guilty, like I was just getting back at the girls I knew that had fucked around with other guys on me. THen I started realizing the truth. They were acting like men. That changed me in 2 ways. First, I realized I was acting like a pussy, hiding my sexual energy and that guys are meant to go fuck other women, and Second, the women I was with are acting like men (go Femenism!)

          [–]down_with_whomever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          She was just finishing for drama being generally discontent with me with no clear purpose in mind. Sometimes they do this, I don't think the particular details of this story would be very interesting. I could have kept her around if i played her game a little but I didn't want to.

          [–]gideonrakthor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          "Bitches ain't shit but hoes n' tricks"

          They eat, shit, and piss just like we do. If you fall for their pretty faces and cute demeanor you'll get chewed up and tossed like a ragdoll.

          [–]RPL23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          going through all kinds of shit right now, and this was what i needed to hear. great gut check, thanks for writing this bro.

          [–]GREF_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I've recently nexted a girl with whom I have invested 8 months. I didn't bat an eye. She threw a shit test and doubled down. I didn't budge, so it goes.

          I'd love to hear this story for the sake of my RP edutainment.

          [–]HatchbacksandTattoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This was a great post and vital for every man's red pill transition.

          As for me, after a very tough break up (in which I had found the community like three weeks before the end) I decided I was going to purposely "brainwash" myself in the red pill material. I read every Rollo article, a shit ton from Roissy and Roosh and now I'm at a strange crossroads.

          I had been spinning plates for a year and things were great but each date all I could think was AWALT and I was proven right time and again...Now I am with a girl who I have been digging for a long time but all I can think of with anything she says is related to "AWALT" thinking and I can't be optimistic about her or any of the past flings in the past year.

          Has anyone else dealt with this?

          [–]Brontosaurus_Bukkake 0 points1 point  (4 children)

          I'm a first time visitor here having heard it referenced elsewhere and I'm missing something mentally that made some parts a bit difficult to follow.

          Was next and nexting a typo for texting or something along those lines like how sexting is a word based in texting, is nexting a similar type of word?

          Also what is a shit test? Is it like a loaded question or something more general?

          [–]down_with_whomever[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          "nexting" is when you move on to the next one.

          Shit test has a thousand definitions. But basically it's when a girl starts bullshit with you just to test you reaction (even if she doesn't realize she's doing it).

          The sidebar has a glossary and other stuff to answer the basics.

          [–]Brontosaurus_Bukkake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Thanks for the fast reply I'll check that out.

          [–]Hokuto199x 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          NEXT means you've dismissed the person and are moving on to the next one. It means you're cutting them loose. A shit test is when a woman is testing you to see if you're the shit. If she's attracted to you she actually wants you to pass the test.

          [–]Brontosaurus_Bukkake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Thanks for explaining it, I appreciate it!

          [–]nuc22 0 points1 point  (3 children)


          [–]down_with_whomever[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

          Pushed myself, got in shape, learned game, went out there and practiced

          [–]2Kill_Your_Ego 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Learning game has been a pretty big thing to me. But you have to do it. You can't learn game by watching videos. Just as you don't get cut by watching videos of how to do a proper squat or deadlift. You learn by doing. By practicing and exercising your game.

          Time for me to move on to refine my game a bit. I can get plates easy. I need to learn more advanced rp aware game.

          [–]down_with_whomever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Best of luck, brother. Experience is the best teacher.

          [–]occupythekitchen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          So I'm finding myself in the middle of a triangle about to become a rectangle. This two girls are giving me frame, will invite me to go out pay for shit for me etc. But my buddy is about to return from italy and he is getting very well with one of them. Now one of the girls said she wanted to have my baby and the other yesterday looked dead in my eyes and said older women have more experience, she's 8 years older than me.

          I'm really confused since if i go for the wrong one i could lose the friendship (I'm in a new place and am meeting tons of new girls with them) or i could go for the right one and be happy?

          Should I pick someone outside of the group first as to not have any commotion in my social circle or should i just wait till my buddy gets back and use the space that'll create between the girls to go after the one i want?

          [–]A_Bumpkin -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

          I thought you were talking about real plates :(

          [–][deleted]  (9 children)


            [–]down_with_whomever[S] 4 points5 points  (7 children)

            It's done that way for a reason. If you're so lazy and pathetic that you can't take the 5 seconds it would have taken you to find he definition in the glossary, then you're not our target audience and you're not sincerely here to learn.

            That's the reason no one explains it. We're not here to spoon-feed you.

            [–][deleted]  (5 children)


              [–]raob11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              This is not a class. You are not paying us to teach you. You are here on your own, for your own reasons. The community owes you NOTHING.

              Show some initiative for fucksake.

              [–]Kendanko 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Use some context clues bro.. This isn't rocket science.

              [–]NastiN8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              You are not in red pill 101. That is on the sidebar. You are trying to go into an advanced discussion with limited knowledge. Then you cry with entitlement that OP should cater to your needs. Gotta rid yourself of that blue pill mentality man. Only babies cry & that's cause they need a diaper change.

              [–]TheRedPhil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Sidebar is like a printout, that you can freely look at during lessons until you memorize it.

              [–]Khazrihl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              This isn't the public schooling system. Do you not understand how to read context? Because we don't teach that here.

              [–]livelongandprosper69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              it's not hard to search a subreddit using the search function.

              [–]Cronyx -3 points-2 points  (4 children)

              I've recently nexted a girl with whom I have invested 8 months. I didn't bat an eye. She threw a shit test and doubled down. I didn't budge, so it goes. Am I sorry to lose her? Honestly, no. And it's not because I'm a cold bastard. It's because I now have the experience to know that she is entirely replaceable and it was only ever temporary to begin with.

              Is it your position that a girl isn't allowed to have any non-negotiable aspects of their lives? If not, do you extend that policy to yourself as well for her?

              Is it your position that every girl is replaceable? That seems to imply that you're less looking for a soulmate, someone you connect with on a deeply emotional level, and more looking for someone to fill a "job description".

              On "plate spinning", I've seen a lot of discourse in this sub regarding an admonishing narrative of women who similarly take on multiple partners simultaneously. I don't mean to single you out particularly; it's a question I've been meaning to ask for some time: How does one avoid being hypocritical or setting a double standard by advocating and endorsing multiple partners for themselves, but disqualifying someone else for doing the same thing?

              [–]down_with_whomever[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

              The phrasing you use tells me that you're accustomed to thinking about this as an abstract academic endeavor. This isn't philosophy class, it's very firmly rooted in our collective life experience.

              Yes, every girl is replaceable. If you think a girl is NOT replaceable, you have absolutely no ability to maintain frame around her and therefore you cannot keep her. The only real power a man has in a relationship is his ability to leave it.

              The term "soulmate" is a bullshit phrase with no real meaning, unless you're a cat lady it doesn't make sense for you to use it.

              As for "double standards," this has been answered in great detail countless times on this sub. Men and women are not the same. Women bond through sex in a way that men don't; doing this too many times affects a woman's ability to bond. It's not that women who slut it up are bad, on the contrary, I rather like them in the right circumstances; it's that they're less likely to be reliable in an LTR.

              I wrote one explanation about it another post - search for what is an alpha widow and why does it matter

              [–]Cronyx -1 points0 points  (1 child)

              maintain frame around her

              As in, maintain control? Do what I say or I'll leave you? What characteristics distinguish this from emotional terrorism?

              Men and women are not the same. Women bond through sex in a way that men don't; doing this too many times affects a woman's ability to bond.

              And what does it do for a man's ability to bond? The entire thesis of your post was that men should be more promiscuous to desensitize themselves in exactly the same way that you're suggesting women are effected by adhering to the same practice. That is your thesis. Spin plates so that you don't get "doe eyed" and attached as easily. Intentionally afflicting yourself with a discapacity to bond easily. This is what you're saying happens to women who do the same thing over time.

              [–]Hunter__Wallace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              maintain frame around her

              As in, maintain control? Do what I say or I'll leave you? What characteristics distinguish this from emotional terrorism?

              Do you even sidebar, Bro?

              Men and women are not the same. Women bond through sex in a way that men don't; doing this too many times affects a woman's ability to bond.

              And what does it do for a man's ability to bond? The entire thesis of your post was that men should be more promiscuous to desensitize themselves in exactly the same way that you're suggesting women are effected by adhering to the same practice. That is your thesis. Spin plates so that you don't get "doe eyed" and attached as easily. Intentionally afflicting yourself with a discapacity to bond easily. *This is what you're saying happens to women who do the same thing over time

              For many, the ability to bond is/was TOO HIGH, because of unrealistic expectations, raised without a father figure, just sensitive, whatever. The way you say this, like a man having CONSCIOUS priorities over the women in his life, makes me reconsider where you are coming from. This isn't Purple Pill Debate, kid. Stop antagonizing over 101 shit just because you don't understand it/didn't take the time to read what you should have.

              Tldr: lurk moar