Older redditor here in my early 50's.
So I grew up at different times, in a small town, very conservative upbringing. My mother was a homemaker and my father was the breadwinner. I grew up that men and women were not the same, men had to respect women, and women had to respect men; men should volunteer to do heavy and dirty jobs on behalf of women; and women were in charge or traditional feminine jobs like cooking and cleaning. At the same time I was also raised and surrounded with constant concepts of respect and fairness.
I live in New England and yesterday it snowed here. I was out shoveling snow when my neighbor, a post-wall divorced woman, asked me if I could shower her driveway as well. I thought about it and pussy pass came to mind. So politely I declined by saying "No, I'm OK, thanks".
She looks at me surprised and says "But I have to go to the Mall".
I take my time to process her response, a few years ago I would have run over and help her because that's what Nice Guys do, but these days I am very well aware of the concept of "Pussy Pass" and of my own value. I told her that I have the number of a couple of "Handy Men" in the area, and once I was finished with the driveway I would call her with the names and numbers.
She didn't like it a bit. She started to same something that sounded like complaining or venting, but I decided to pay no attention and concentrate on shoveling my driveway, and as I was doing so, I was thinking about the events, about the way I was raised, and about feminism and respect.
What feminism has done and is doing is disrespectful to men and women alike. By blindly stating equality it denies certain aspects of the physicality of the average woman and the average man.
In a perfect world yesterday's exchange would not have happened. Either my neighbor and I were friends, in which case there would be an established pattern of mutual help, or she would have system into place to deal with snow; this is New England it snows often every winter.
And relying on help without reciprocation is not respectful and it's using people (pussy pass).
I am sure that some women in the past and in the present have been treated unfairly by some guys; at the same time I am a guy and in the past I have been treated unfairly by some guys (assholes) and some women (bitches); I have had bad bosses, bad friends, bad customer service by both sexes; the problem was lack of respect, not inequality; the solution was to find a better job, cut off my friends, and bring my business somewhere else; practically sticking it to them for their bad behavior.
I will no longer perpetrate pussy pass, I have my value and I expect as much respect as I give, that is the ultimate fairness.