all 83 comments

[–]RedPillJohnny 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Words of wisdom Arch. Words of wisdom.

I think karaoke is generally pretty lame but the wife likes it once in a while (validation!) and finds it fun so I am embracing it fully. The last thing I want to do is strut around in front of people doing lame impressions of popular songs but the wife thinks its great fun so I do it along with her.

I performed a song one time (reluctantly) for an audience of women and years later they still talk about it...all because I went up there, made a joke out of it without being insulting by taking control and playing along with a good sense of humor. Instead of being a "hater" I went with it and it worked. And as a married man having fun is a challenge...what the fuck do you do for fun with your wife?!?

[–]omnicidial 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Karaoke always works out if you go balls out and belt the song and smile and have fun.

Best songs are the ones the crowd will also sing, and it's easy to make yourself stand out like hell doing it oddly. Most people look so damn nervous that you look like a celebrity if you don't give a shit.

[–]aspiringscoundrel2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

THIS!!!! Biggest missed opportunity out there is when you have to do something "embarrassing", "silly", or "childish". If you do the FUCK out of it you look like goddamned superman as every man in the place and most of the women go "damn, he's got more balls than I do!"

[–]eatingonthetoilet 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You're living American Beauty, congratulations, just remember to clearly tell your neighbor you're just a pothead and not gay and also to lock your doors.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 113 points114 points  (15 children)

Honestly it sounds like your wife sucked all the fun out of you. So while your cooking healthy food for yourself and your children, she's complaining about inane shit? That sounds like a super fun atmosphere. Good for you on weathering the storm. I respect that.

However I dont share your emotional maturity. In situations where my fitness journey is blocked by a fucking troll I default to guilt tripping. You know what honey you dont have to eat right or exercise but when your an obease fucking troll and men have to avert their gaze for fear of being turned to stone, it will be your own fat fault. Go ahead and cry because maybe you can burn more calories that way.

Every girl I date eats healthy and lifts heavy with me. On the other hand I make them cry. Benevolent Dictatorship?

[–]1redpillbanana 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Honestly it sounds like your wife sucked all the fun out of you.

[–]AlphaJesus 25 points26 points  (13 children)

I fuckin love you man. No homo.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 62 points63 points  (12 children)

Unless you drag your woman to to the gym she will become fat in 5 to 10 years. Now obviously if you don't consider her a serious prospect then whatever. Buy if you think that she may one day become the mother of your children you can not allow her to be a fat shit. Do you want a fat lazy fuck imparting her fat values on your children? Do you want to be seen holding hands with Mrs. Obesity? Do you want your lil embryo dude to be swimming in KFC for 9 months. Fuck all that shit.

I dont care what it takes. I dont care about tears or feelings. I have too much self respect to sleep in the same bed as a farm animal.

On a lighter note my girl can do pullups ans squats 135 for reos because of my benevolent dictatorship.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAerobus 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Unless you drag your woman to to the gym she will become fat in 5 to 10 years.

This is very, very true. I've seen it with my mom and with about 12 of my female cousins going from unmarried, to newly married, to married for 5 years.

It's so common that women (at least in my family) will joke that "after the marriage is when you get to relax and have the husband take care of you while you get fat."

Honestly, knowing women, this shouldn't surprise anyone on TRP.

[–]fuck_da_haes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

same here, and my mom wonders why I don't want to get married ...

[–]Iramohs 16 points17 points  (0 children)

On a lighter note my girl can do pullups ans squats 135 for reos because of my benevolent dictatorship.

One of us... /r/swoleacceptance

[–]beerthroway 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Benevolent dictatorship. Forcing them to do things that benefit them. Brilliant phrase.

It could almost be considered sacrificial. You're sacrificing your own "fun" to get them a higher quality of life. Perhaps if a person enjoys the power trip, then it is fun. But getting others to do something as an authority figure isn't exactly rocket science. So it could be considered an unselfish move.

Or like you said

I have too much self respect to be [associated with swine]

I paraphrased to extend it to all aspects of life.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 10 points11 points  (0 children)

For me it has nothing to do with power. Taking my girl to tbe gym and making sure she lifts right requires a lot of time and energy. But if I go lift heavy and then put down 1000 calories of steak and yams, what am I supposed to do feed her salad? Sorry you dont lift you cant eat this. If you're girl is eating how you eat, then she has to lift like you lift.

Check out my girlfriends back development on my @GayLubeOil twitter

[–]balalasaurus 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I have a hard time wrapping my head around this. If the core basis of TRP is agency, then why should it be up to me to make sure my wife/LTR doesn't turn in to a land whale? What's wrong with me simply making it clear that if she doesn't take care of herself I'm gone. Genuinely asking here so go easy on me.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 14 points15 points  (1 child)

If you really believe that american women have enough agency to handle their own health then I recomend you go to the mall and have a look at american women. See if that influences your conclusion.

[–]balalasaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But aren't AWALT? Does that mean women have no sense of agency? I guess it makes sense. Women do predominantly act on emotion.

[–]aspiringscoundrel2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it has to do with the fact that A) many of us took TRP after being married to a woman we do really love and B) wouldn't a TRP man try to take charge of the situation before splitting?

I totally agree with taking the bull by the horns and trying to help your wife improve herself before you just bail.

[–]jrl1985 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My best friend's wife recently got pregnant. She used to workout fairly consistently (was still slightly overweight), but now takes advantage of the pregnancy by not being active and eating like complete shit. I don't know how it feels to be pregnant, so I'm not going to bash her for not working out, but she still shouldn't be stuffing her mouth with bad shit. A big ass bottle of soda with 70g of sugar downed in 15 minutes isn't healthy.

I just try to look out for my friend. I don't know if her thinking is "I'm pregnant so I have him locked down now" but I keep my friend motivated to keep lifting. He stopped a couple times until I gave him a pep talk.

[–]16 Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All of that processed food is going straight into the baby. He needs to look out for the best interest of his child.

[–]Complecs 5 points6 points  (2 children)

You still have to do the work and get shit done, but you need to learn to enjoy the work.

I think this is the most important thing to take away from this post. I too get caught up in being serious about everything, I was serious for a long time, all the time. It got to a point where I forgot how to have fun.

Sure I was getting things done, i was seeing results quickly in different areas of life, but I wasn't happy. It was like doing a lift for a certain way for a long time, getting stronger in it, only to find that you aren't doing it correctly. So what do you do? You deload and learn the proper form. I'm loosening up on my goals a bit, giving myself a bit more room in my diet, or at work developing relationships with coworkers, Instead of going to the gym at 5am so I can maximize my daily productivity after work, I'm going at 8pm now so i can get more sleep. All of this to improve my mood throughout the day so I'm just a bit more pleasant of a person to BE. It's tiring being so serious ALL THE TIME, even if it does work. I think it works to a point, then you start seeing some diminishing returns, like you would if you were squatting incorrectly, you may injure yourself in some way over time or fuck your back up.

A top 10% man is in that caliber of men because he enjoyed the journey to becoming that man. Someone posted a month or two ago about enjoying the RP journey, hell it may have been you arch. But you are right, not just for the sake of actually sticking with your goals and staying on track, but so when you get there you're not only a cool guy with all these things going for him. You're a fun/positive guy that does all of these cool things. If you're serious all the time you're showing people how hard you're working, you've put yourself back into the league of everybody else(Law 30). If you're staying positive, having fun with your work/journey, then it seems as if it all comes naturally. All of a sudden you are much more a man than the one standing next to you in peoples eyes, because if he wanted to accomplish what you do, he would have to work his ass off. Not you though, you were just born with it.

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's tiring being so serious ALL THE TIME, even if it does work.

Ultimately it doesn't work though. I look at it all as a marathon, not a sprint. I put in my work, and I can go hard for a while, but I know its not always going to be like that. I make sure my life is livable first! It takes pushing until you reach your limits to find them, then backing to where you are comfortable (which ends up being more than you could've done before you pushed it anyways...).

Good post bro. You definitely gotta enjoy the journey

[–]Complecs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ultimately it doesn't work though. I look at it all as a marathon, not a sprint.

You're right, I contradicted myself in my post there.

[–]1tombreck2 9 points10 points  (4 children)

While at a bar last week a girl told me "You have a resting bitch face". Never heard that before but I must have been 'trying to look cool' or focusing on not being a beta.

Sometimes girls can give good advice

[–]450k_crackparty 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I feel like this is where taking the stoicism shit on here too seriously can get you. No one wants to hang out with a mute trying to look cool. The guy laughing, having fun, talking shit is the one people want to be around (in a party situation at least).

[–]Otioseone1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Walk softly and carry a big stick may apply here.You may not want to be the party all the time. Think of Eddie Murphy in Shrek.

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the good thing is that both can work if you do it right. Just do whichever one is most natural to make it easier on yourself and move onto maximizing it. I'm naturally a funny and fun guy, always have been. So trying the stoic intensity look totally isn't me, probably look like a try hard. But maximizing funny + cocky works great and feels pretty natural.

[–]FrameWalker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Remembering to have fun will assist with LMR and other shit-tests. Hard to be butt-hurt or fail a shit-test when you're self-amused. Your primary mission is to have a good time.

Having a healthy frame is essential. Here are the two core guidelines I am developing

  1. Have and enforce boundaries
  2. Always keep cool - don't get whiny/needy/upset

1 and 2 come into conflict when an interaction is not meeting my standards. When I become dissapointed or annoyed I tend to ovverreact. I am very quick to soft next/hard next when remembering to have fun is much more likely to lead to a positive outcome. I have to remind myself to laugh when I get LMR because it's a silly game.

[–]blacwidonsfw 13 points14 points  (25 children)

I would like to know what other people in this sub reddit think is fun?

For me: 1. Succeeding in a difficult problem at work.

  1. Having intelligent/bullshit conversations.
  2. Sex

  3. Physical activity - basketball tennis lifting yoga

  4. Riding my bike through the city fast like a douchebag running all the red lights.

  5. Drugs/alcohol dancing with live music with friends.

  6. Bodysurfing

  7. That moment when a girls switch flips and you know she's into you.

  8. Playing chess drinking whiskey

  9. Fighting

  10. Programming

  11. When you play a good song and7 someone else compliments it.

  12. Watching a situation play out exactly like you thought it would (work/social)

[–]BrunoOh 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Riding my bike through the city fast like a douchebag running all the red lights.

Sounds like a darwin award waiting to happen.

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 18 points19 points  (6 children)

  1. Fucking with people
  2. Massive torque in light cars.
  3. Building shit.
  4. Achieving goals that aren't easy to reach.
  5. Doing more with less, finding the most efficient way with the least expense.
  6. Getting laid.
  7. Learning about everything.
  8. Off road beating the shit out of my truck so I can fix it again.
  9. Doing shit with friends.
  10. Winning races.

[–]Kyuzo_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)


Pretty much all of the above, minus having a truck, I agree with

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Marquette, with the rednecks. Not many races to be had around here.

[–]benmarvin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I love building shit. I'm lucky to have a job where I get to build shit all day. The only downside is that all too often I'm too worn out to build shit at home.

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why I stopped doing it to pay bills, it's my comfort zone rather than deadlines, stress, and dealing with deadbeat customers.

[–]kaspell 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Number 2: check.

just put a 2L airhead stroker in my Ghia. It evenn sounds mean. New front trans-axle mount this weekend cause I seem to have too much of the torque for the old one. "Fix, drive, break... rinse and repeat"

[–]2 Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If mine ever hooked it would break shit, 700ftlbs in a 2900lb car. Fun ride with lots of sticky tire smoke.

[–]holybad 9 points10 points  (9 children)

Although most guys on here will say video games are a waste of time, I am very passionate about Star Craft. I find deep satisfaction in being able to play arguably the hardest game at the level that I do while maintaining my career and social standing.

[–]longerdistance 12 points13 points  (3 children)

There is a large difference between playing a competitive 1v1 strategy game in an attempt to beat other players and fucking around in skyrim.

Playing starcraft in the way you do is a competition of minds in a way that's somewhat comparable to chess and poker, to me that is respectable.

[–]SekretSkwirrel 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Agreed. I'm not a big gamer, but I've played chess since I was three years old. I have read books on chess, watched videos on chess, taken chess classes, participated in chess competitions and done very well. I've played those sorts of video games you are talking about and I do consider it impressive when someone is really good at it. It is very much like chess.

[–]PowerVitamin -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Chess/Starcraft master race.

[–]the99percent1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

all are time sinks to get anywhere above decent, and if you aren't pro at it, you should really consider the cost benefits of pouring so many hours into something that gives no return except for a good dopa-mine release..

[–]asanonsb 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Agreed that the proper games in moderation can be quite enjoyable and help me kill it in the rest of my life as well.

My games of choice are Dark Souls/DS2, as it teaches a certain mental fortitude required to fail endlessly and not get discouraged. I've been given rough, risky, and time-consuming assignments at work and literally thought "well, it's not as hard as insert boss here".

Also, instant AMOG status and respect among people of my age when you beat that particular game series, added to a built body and other social status markers (career, etc.), I've walked into a group of near-strangers and within 5 minutes was leading the conversation.

[–]machimus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

People hate on video games, but dark souls is one of the most fun things in my life that teach persistence and not giving in to despair. It also teaches you to do things right the first time or be punished for it.

[–]Seishuu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES. I used to be a huge gamer, spent a good part of my teenage years putting time down the sink on MMOs and FPSs (probably have close to 50 days in CoD games combined). I stopped this nonsense about 3 years ago and since then barely ever play anymore, but the only thing I've been really into since is Dark Souls, the first and then the second when it came out. Absolutely glorious games, lots of strategy involved if you wanna make it. Especially for bosses. Jesus Christ, the bosses...

[–]cruxae 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Video games are a waste of time when they consume your life. When you start thinking about the game while doing other things, or in the shower, etc. is when you know you have a problem.

They give you a false sense of achievement. You think you've grown, but in reality, all you've done is sit in a chair for 6 hours.

Speaking from experience. Quitting playing LoL after 3 years of playing at a high level.

[–]TheGillos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Video games get shit on but they are a billion dollar industry for a reason. They are fun. They are escapism. They tell great stories.

Not to mention many women under 30 play video games, I've found the younger the woman the higher the percentage chance they play video games. It's a fun topic of conversation.

[–]Seishuu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Glad you asked, seeing the answers is very interesting. Here's a short list of things I enjoy.

  1. Learning

  2. Having a good conversation with someone who's very apt socially (i.e. is witty and picks up social cues).

  3. Realizing I've made gains (gym- or game-related)

  4. Getting fucked up on drugs & alcohol and messing around with close friends.

  5. Meditating

  6. Cooking/Being proud of a skillfully made dish.

  7. Travelling/Planning a trip

[–]Luscious_Fox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As the replies go down the things people say that they enjoy are becoming more and more hyperbolic.

eg, started off with 'sex' became 'Sex where she ends up incoherent'

[–]justmanthings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Getting really high, watching great comedians, and laughing so hard for so long that all the muscles in my head hurt.

[–]Elodrian 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Watching a situation play out exactly like you thought it would (work/social)

That moment where you lean back, tent your fingers, and say "Just as planned" is the best.

[–]aspiringscoundrel2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

  1. Solving problems that others thought were impossible.

  2. Sex where she ends up incoherent

  3. Lifting heavy-ass shit (with machines...its my job).

  4. Doing tough stuff with my friends.

  5. Anything involving cutting down trees and making shit out of them.

  6. Doing noisy things with big, yellow equipment.

  7. (I agree) That moment when a girl finds you interesting/attractive.

  8. Guns. Motherfucking GUNS.

  9. Nailing something....technical problem, social interaction, a lady friend....just that moment when you know you NAILED IT.

  10. Good booze.

[–]OnikubiKurige 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This hits home for me. Yesterday I realized that even though I've made huge improvements and I'm well on my path towards the top 20%, lately I haven't been a fun guy to be around. Not intolerable, but not my fun, relaxed and smirking self. Way too serious all the time, unable to just let go, have fun and talk about inane stuff when needed.

[–]Xevalous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here, but it stopped when I decided to next the people I was hanging with.

[–]2NiftyDolphin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

80/20 rule applies here.

Women look for two things in a LTR: provisioning and entertainment.

Provisioning in the 80. Once that's squared away and taken for granted, they're looking for their 20 of entertainment.

If there's a consistent dearth of it, they'll focus on what's missing and become "Unhaaaaaapy."

I liken it to the old saw: Sex is just one part of the relationship, unless you're not getting enough, then it's everything.

I'm right there with you. I spend so much time holding the line in my marriage, that I forget that sometimes I have to step over it.

[–]1AfterC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a great post on the front page now about teasing your woman, care of yours truly.

[–]vox_veritas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post, man. I've found myself in the same position before with my wife. And, if I remember correctly, you are an attorney, as am I. I have a feeling that isn't a coincidence, especially since I'm in court a lot being "serious".

[–]sanelity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good post.

Question though. Do you enjoy achieving your goals? Is the issue that you are not having fun, or that you are no longer fun to be around?

[–]Plasticfunnel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amen to this.

I came from /r/seduction, and this applies there as well. I've been so caught on improving my skill with women (the game), and critically and brutally judge and analyze myself, because I was determined to improve. When the other day, I had an epiphany that when YOU'RE having fun, when you're IN the moment, that's when you get in the zone, that's when you get the best positive reactions. It's easy to forget this sometimes. Sure, we're all here for self-improvement, and judging/analyzing yourself is an inevitable part of this process, but at the same time, embrace the grind, enjoy the trek upwards -- that's what's gonna bring you the most happiness.

Another thing is that there's a lot of negativity on this subreddit (hating woman), when in fact we should be focusing on the self-improvement side, the positive side, how we as men could evolve ourselves. I don't think I'm only speaking for myself when I say that THAT's the reason I'm here.

After all, it's called "the game", you're supposed to have fun!

[–]1TrainingTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This coincides with a post I was going to put on Married RP (eventually) about the importance of keeping yourself and your relationship interesting.

Being able to live life as a man and lead your relationship like a man while having fun is the ultimate goal, at least in my book.

I never think is this red pill when I do something. I just live, lead, and have as much fun as possible. Some guys are so focused on avoiding the easy/comfortable path (which is good as that is usually the weak choice) but there has to be time for enjoying the moment.

Making life overly arduous for no reason is unproductive and inefficient in reaching a level of optimal existence.

[–]JointsFerDaze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really needed this post. Thanks... :D

[–]ruboski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the best way to go about it is to have fun in the outside and be serious on the inside.

I cannot recall the correct law of power, but it goes along the lines of not showing others how much work you have put in. If you are serious all of the time (in front of your wife for example), she will see you working hard which may take her eye off of your results.

You should try having more fun around her and others, and keep the focused version of yourself, to yourself.

[–]Quansau18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not the goal but the journey getting there that causes us to derive pleasure, spot on old' chap.

[–]slcjosh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is another side to this as well. If you are fun and outgoing to begin with, you have to keep it up. I've made the mistake of being the incredibly fun, massive social circled, shit to do all time guy and then slowing down because I got into an ltr. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. Then my ltr got bored, hostile, and eventually left. You have to be consistent and never phased. Never forget that.

[–]balalasaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On a roll AW. Keep the posts coming.

[–]BluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feelz b4 reelz. Your woman adopts your frame. If that frame is boring or is a frame of not having fun your woman is going to be bored, or will not be having fun.

Have fun!

[–]BetaMaleFeminist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great reminder. As a dark triad, I sometimes take fun from being serious and assume my woman will as well. In truth, she's just a grown up little girl who wants a "magical" relationship with a man she can count on to give her the giddy 'gina tingles! Balance being an asshole with being her dad, and you're gold.

[–]DR01Dfarmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have fun while you're doing boring, mundane tasks because let's be honest life isn't a vacation in the Bahamas.

We all read stories on TRP about a wife who dumped her husband for no apparent reason. I know women are bitches but I always wonder if this guy was any fun to be with. I don't mean fun at parties and vacations. I mean was he fun to talk to or fun on a boring car ride. That's what 95% of our lives consist of.

[–]raob11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

his isn’t a failing of your wife. You’re the failure. After years and years of living your life as a timid loser, she doesn’t trust you to lead your family, nor should she

I think this is often forgotten in this sub. Blue Pill guys who get yanked around by women... well they should feel crappy, they're letting a woman yank them around ... man the fuck up, guys.

[–]YaBoiTibzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Enjoying yourself is a key part of maintaining frame. If your tone is playful, it's obvious that you don't care, you aren't bothered by whatever dumb shit might be going on. It projects an image of things being effortless for you. If you are scowling and harsh, you risk being seen as a tryhard.

[–]irish-sid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the way of the superior man.

[–]Channel_oreo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Sometimes i feel like women only likes me if im their persnal clown/entertainer. If im having a bad day they seem to not carr at all since im a man.

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There have been a few posts about this in the past. Maybe I'll add to them.

When you take away pregnancy risk, societal shaming, and financial dependency, women don't really need to think long term any more.

When women don't need men for the basics, the only purpose men serve is entertainment. Dance, monkey.

[–]sealteamaus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

could you be so kind as to write a full report on your marriage pre and post red pill thanks

[–]TekkomanKingz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is life is serious and that douchebag at the club will be dead at 50. Yeah you gotta have fun but we live in serious times to be a Man where one mistake can end you up dead, in jail or penniless.

Hard to have fun when you are constantly being hunted in college, at work and elsewhere. All because you were born with a penis.

[–]molooooo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

have you been tested for autism? "Even when I agree and amplify, I’m doing it like a robot." you know this is grade a fucked up right, not being able to show emotion? i feel bad for your wife having to endure a relationship with a manchild like you. oogabooga i need da pussy das wat life is about. i dont really care about my wife and cant commit to a relationship so i just maintain this persona of an asshole, hurrrr. for the love of god, take that bottled up insecurity and talk to your wife like a normal person. its worrisome when you people collectively act like highschoolers, trying to enforce this idea that women and men have a specific way of behaving. daamn, grow up and become a functional, genuine humans, actually able to form society in a good way. knife and fork is out ready to feast on your downvotes

[–]Narc24 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Why are you even fucking married?

[–]17 Endorsed ContributorArchwinger[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Man, you sound like my wife.

[–]Narc24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just seems like so much bullshit to deal with, I started fucking hookers half a decade ago and never looked back.